#despite not being anywhere good
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#I will riot if they give me the HCA ‘Little Mermaid’ ending for these two#the meta in the show 😭😭😭#I just hope that is a sort of implication and not a foreshadowing of their ending#NO webtoon ending please#if Seo Hye Rang is the little mermaid then the show needs to give her ‘justice’ despite her wrongdoings#in the form of forgiveness and continuing love from Ok Gyeong#and I truly hope we get a mini-redemption arc for Hye Rang#she deserves it so much#she is not a bad person#just too obsessive and jealous with her love#I wonder whether her backstory in the drama will be the same as the webtoon#because that is even more reason for her to get her redemption 😭😭😭#you need to speak to HR MOG#I don’t even like Hye Rang as a character all that much#but by god#I feel so much heartbreak for her despite my lack of love#Kim Yoon Hye is so brilliant and flawless in her portrayal and performance#every time she stares at MOG in yearning my heart breaks for her#moon ok gyeong#seo hye rang#Moon Ok Gyeong X Seo Hye Rang#she is doing all this foolishness for you#and even though she is wrong she did it out of love (and her own issues obviously)#but she is so sympathetic 😭😭😭#despite not being anywhere good#jung eun chae#kim yoon hye#jeongnyeon: the star is born#and MOG: you are problematic in your own ways too#hoping against hope these two are given a chance at happiness by the end
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props to whoever decided that, on tumblr, double tapping a word would select it. wish my notes app did that
#ignore me but legit#that's such a feature and i don't see it literally anywhere else!! despite being so good!!#like the creativity 👏👏#to whoever remembered that i hope you get a medal bestie#random#stargazerbibi
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Will/have you join Cara? Tumblr doesn't seem great for art anymore
thinking abt it (seems nice) but am very tired of trying to build new followings everywhere. so waiting to see how it goes.
#like I'm doing so much better here compared to 'bluesky'#despite tumblr being 'dead'#idk is anywhere good for art anymore?#an ask
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why did agatha tell lilia the truth about her only being able to steal powers if she’s blasted first if her entire plan was to get them to blast her so she could steal their powers??
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#the more i think about these episodes the more it’s just like… why?#all the components were there for a really amazing ending but it’s just not and that’s so annoying#fucking marvel#and i want to make it clear that my issue isn’t about agatha x rio#because so many people are making it just only about that and so many others are dismissing anyone else’s low opinions on the ending cause#they think they’re only upset about that as well#but like no! there were actual issues#some of them Do have to do with agatha x rio but not all or even most of them do#like episode 6 had people complaining because of agatha x rio despite how well-executed/written it was#but that’s not what’s happening this time?? (okay for some people it is but not anywhere near all of them because there were glaring issues#in these last two eps)#like I don’t think a backstory or anything was actually necessary. I think they could have kept the same amount of agatha x rio scenes and#even kept them the same length and still been able to pull off something so much more satisfying instead of what they gave us#I think that about so much of these episodes too#like they could have done so much better with what time they were given and made everything so much more impactful and meaningful but#instead soooo much of it just feels so lackluster and husk-like#like the body’s there but there’s no soul to it#which honestly is par the course for marvel but this show had done such a good job of distancing itself from them and being its own thing#that I really thought it could be more#idk. I’m just disappointed ig#txt
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Game Freak in 2023: Yeah we're thinking about slowing down our game production, it's clear this current pace is causing problems.
Game Freak in 2024: lmao jk
#it hasn't even been a full 365 days since they announced they were thinking about slowing down#also like...not to be a buzz kill but I can't even be excited about this bcs they fuckin' dropped PLA#the second they were done with it despite it being the best game they've made in years#this is probably just gonna be more of the same#ESPECIALLY since it hasnt been anywhere NEAR long enough since PLA or ScarVi#for them to make another game that's like actually good#just....yeesh
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#personal#internets#at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following#since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that-#-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people#could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media#like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities#or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because-#-of all the clicks on their article?#like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober#as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically#that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere#but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate#but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain#like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection?#but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end#they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth#I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because-#-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner#is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions?#my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with#and that won't do will it
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Kung Fu Panda 4 was so bad, oh my god what the f?
#it was one big pot of reheated leftover stuff that didn't go anywhere or hit any good beats :/#characters were bland and didn't feel like the same characters#including all the villains lol they were just shoehorned in there as a tiny plot device despite having big backstories and beef w po#tai lung was chill and lord shen was chill i'm like ?? ok sure fam#the furious 5 being there without even having any dialogue just felt contrived lol#awkwafina being in there was annoying. not as annoying as i expected but cmon she's in everything now and she sounds the same in everything#the only good part was the britney spears cover at the end lol i yelled#kung fu panda 4#kfp 4#kung fu panda 4 spoilers#(kinda not really)
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I always hate the pity I get when I say "I don't have much of a family"
Like, fuck you dude. My family is very small, but my parents distanced themselves from their relatives for a good fucking reason and so have I
#gopher rambles#vent ish#idk im feeling bitter tonight#my grandmothers both died before i was born. my dads dad died when i was very small. my mom when i was 15. my papal last year#my dad's brother and his wife live many states away and we never speak. my moms brother makes me feel super unsafe and his exwife has#(UNDERSTANDABLY) put a lot of distance between herself and the family despite being very intertwined in it#my brother is a piece of shit and i havent had any real sibling love for him since i was ten years old. i tolerate him at a distance.#thats it#all i have is my dad (and my Sib From Another Crib. Corey. but we dont live anywhere near eachother) and my pets#thats it. thats it. i like it that way#for some folks the anger i feel about it might sound overblown because SURELY i dont hear this much right?#well. in the Appalachian culture family is one of the most important things. its supposed to be close knit and clannish. that i basically#have none makes me a bit of an outcast from the community. and i hate it#there is distance between me and my surviving relatives for a good fucking reason and acting like i just need to fix those bonds make me#want to commit great bodily harm. goddamnit#usually when i tell people about my family its to explain something. i dont do thanksgiving. barely do Christmas. ect.
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Exchange semester in the Netherlands???? Hello ???? Fall of 2024 ???? I got accepted ???
#yippie ✨️✨️✨️✨️#this end of 2023 is making me so hopeful for 2024 and thats crazy bc i dont think ive ever been happy for the new year before#i know these little things like my novell and studying in Netherlands might seem small#but to me its proof that i can do anything i set my mind to :) ! and i dont mean that unironically either !#like genuinely- as long as i try i have a chance of success !!!!!#i used to just think abt or do things without taking that first step#u know. just write novells or books witouth sending them anywhere despite the fact that i dream of being published#or look at uni websites in foreign countries without applying to them#BUT YOU SEE WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN I ACTUALLY TRY !!! 🥲💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗#life is beautiful :) and good things happen to those who stick around to find out#yay <33333#personal
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)
#i didn't get to do the sidequest i almost got though 😔#i exited my apartment. theres a guy outside and i greet him bc i assumed he was a neighbour#and he greets me back and then hes like im sorry i hopped over the fence as a shortcut idk if that's fine#nd then continued and said he'll check if he dropped something#and i'm like yea ok sure!#bc i was going to lidl and i wanted to get going but i did just stand there for a bit in case the guy needed help or something#then he emerged from the fence area and he was like ''if you find something in there can you pick it up akd put out a note'' and i was like#yea ofc! i'll do that if i see anything#and then he was like this is a very nice area so i trust people will let me know if i did drop something#and i was like for sure#im not great at smalltalk but he was very polite so i tried my best#also he seemed like he wasnt having the best time#he might have been on something bc he was slurring his speech and drooling a lot and there was a certain look in his eyes but honestly that#none of my business#we said bye and i sat in my car and then he was like ''hey actually i live like a minute away super close but my bag is super heavy#can i get a ride there it's super close next to [redacted]''#and i moved my bag from the front seat and was like ''yea sure''#and then he stared at me for a bit and was like ''actually i dont want to bother you have a nice day bye'' and left with a wave#i was like you too and waved back#he didnt look like he had any trouble walking so i came to the conclusion that he's fine and then went to lidl#but honestly i am a bit disappointed he didnt want me to give him a ride after all bc he seemed like he would have interesting things to sa#he was super polite and talked a lot and despite me being a finn i dont always mind strangers talking to me#bc if i have nothing important to do it's like. might as well!#another chat outside my apartment ive had was this old lady and she knew a lot about the history of the area we live in#and it was very interesting and also like i said if im in no hurry to go anywhere i love listening to ppl yap about whatever#i hope both the fence hopping guy and the old lady are doing good#leevi talks
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my current Star Wars books rating for the 96 novels I've read so far. And Dark Disciple
idk if these are hot takes or if you can see anything but this is where I'm at
#yael is reading star wars#the 'unread" tier is the waitlist for the reading list because I'm like that/books i can't read yet for various reasons#(the glass abyss tempest breaker beware the nameless and tears of the nameless aren't out yet but I'm looking forward to them)#the dark disciple tier is there bacause i don't think it deserves to be anywhere near the others#i DESPISE that book on a diferent level#reading list tier is the reading list tier lol#i don't use the currently reading tier much but it's there anyway#the mediocre/bad books either bored me out of my mind or were pointless and annoying book#tho looking back i do not hate jedi trial that much#did not care is for those that were boring and interesting to me but not bad#decent tier is those i liked/didn't mind that come with a big 'BUT' that made the book bad for me#or those I didn't like but weren't bad books#good are books i genuinely liked but weren't very special to me#fun/devastating is either those i thoroughly enjoyed despite them not being that good (re: ahsoka)#or just fun and emotionally devestating books#and masterpiece are my personal favorites#it's not for actual perfect books but rather those who mean the world to me#other than that there are 80 more books i want to read but haven't made it to the reading list yet lmao#getting there
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oh god. grad school apps imminent. any words of wisdom?
#I know I have a strong resume and (probably) good letters of rec from professors who know me well but essays and interviews(?) are scaryyyyy#also the importance of having at least one publication during undergrad on your resume is wild to me#anyway. I love being in an oversaturated field :)#also the fact that the senior whose work is basically what I'm doing now didn't get in anywhere in her first round of applications despite#being maybe one of the most accomplished people I know is making me a little nervous. granted she DID get a postbac at MMO. but still.
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how to take part: go to pinterest, search "[your name] core aesthetic" and create a moodboard from the first nine images!
coziness, countryside, couture, all with a dash of frenchness — the amélie moodboard
tagged by my dearest @snckt and tagging whoever wants to!!!! if you see it you're tagged go do it <3
#personal#fun fact i straight up skipped anything that was from the movie#it's the price of that movie being so popular if you type in my name anywhere it's the FIRST thing that comes up#i came first!!!! i was born before the movie!!!! that movie owes me royalties!!!!!#other fun fact: i was the only person in my ap french class who hadn't watched that movie#cuz after the ap exam there were still some weeks left so the class was like 'oh let's watch a movie'#and someone suggested 'amélie' and everyone was like 'nah we've all seen it' and i was like 'i haven't'#despite it literally being my name#and it's here i should point out that i was the youngest in that class cuz at my school freshmen were not allowed to take ap classes#but since i'm a native french speaker and had just come from a french school admin made an exception and let me take the class directly#rather than go through some nonsense honors course that they all knew i wouldn't need#so my status as both The Baby of the classroom as well as having the name of a movie i was the only person to have not seen#sealed the deal and we watched that movie#it's good. it's not my favorite movie by far or even my favorite french movie#(honestly that's probably la grande vadrouille) but it's good
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what should be my real housewives of beverly hills replacement once i catch up? keep in mind that this is to fill a reality tv specific hole in me and i watch that show bc i love Mess !!
#silver jelly#going back and forth and back and forth lmao bc like#new york was orginally definitely my next but it has 13 seasons and that feels like A Commitment after 12 seasons of rhobh#potomac only has 7 and it has the bonus of being in maryland and that's really fun for me#i'm open to rh shows taking place anywhere else but if it's not one of those 2 i'm leaning toward something 8 seasons or less#ideally 5 or less tbh unless the drama is REALLY REALLY good.#also for people wondering i'm almost done with s9 and lisa rinna is my FAVE rn but eileen davidson & adrienne maloof are my all-time#faves. erica would be up there but acab. hatedddd brandi but i thought the season with carlton was particularly juicy.#let's see; rhobh did a vanderpump rules 'crossover' event for the brandi/scheana confrontation and to be totally honest i did not enjoy it#but i'm willing to give it another chance if it's good. i don't know anyone irl who watches this stuff lmao#so i've got like no point of reference.#i was super obsessed with project runway growing up and did a partial rewatch like 5 years back#and i still absolutely lovedddddddd it despite not being fond of michael kors or nina garcia#js and ultimatum are explanatory; i'm here for The Drama tbh#it's maybe fucked up but shows about other people's interpersonal conflicts are really good escapism for me#it's why i was so into succ lmao#i need like A Problem To Solve even when i'm in rest mode plus it's really inspirational for writing effective conflicts/misunderstandings#(these are very scorpio sun/gemini rising things to say ooooops)#anyway vote away even if you've never seen any of these !!! i also love controlled chaos !!!!
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thinking about earlier this year and even last year when i was so deeply hyperfixated on lloyd & he was all i could think about and yet i barely shared any of my thoughts on here. i kind of want to kick myself about it now actually because i know i had so many things to say and so much i wanted to do but i never made it happen. why was i a coward.
#raaghhh i’m just so disappointed in myself :(#it would’ve been so cool to have those posts to look back on now!!!#technically i still can because it’s all rotting in my notes app. but that’s not as fun.#and it’s not even really about that it’s more like. knowing there’s so much that i’ve missed out on#i never shared any of my writing here (despite saying that i would like. 5 million times!) because i was so so scared of it being perceived#so i never got to experience what it’s like to get feedback!!#and then there’s the lloyd roleplay blog that i’ve wanted to make since very early 2021….#i got so close to doing it last year and i put literal hours of effort into the blog but then i just. decided not to use it.#and i think that makes me the most sick because like. how many interactions do you think i missed out on??#maybe it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. maybe it would’ve sucked and died immediately but i’d never know unless i tried!!!#and now i’ll never know.#‘just do it now’ well you see. I Am Still Scared :)#idk i just find it so difficult to put myself out there#even in a fandom that has a grand total of five people 💀#but i am thinking about it!!! and that should count for something#anyway wow i can ramble!#if you read all this…. hi :)#i’ll probably delete this later but it was good to get it off my chest!
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