#my grandmothers both died before i was born. my dads dad died when i was very small. my mom when i was 15. my papal last year

[gophergal]

I always hate the pity I get when I say "I don't have much of a family"

Like, fuck you dude. My family is very small, but my parents distanced themselves from their relatives for a good fucking reason and so have I

[arcticmist0324]

A narrative can be haunted by the absence of a character, but so can our lives.

one of the saddest things is when someone in your family tells you you would've loved someone who died before you were born. like my mother has told me & my best friend that we would have loved talking to her father. that me & my brothers have the same humor as our late uncle & even look like him. everyone is everywhere & nowhere & here & gone & dying & coming back. it's as though you know them through their shadow or their ghost or your own actions, but you won't ever really know. haunts me, i guess

[emdoesstufff]

My Bistro Huddy Headcanons

Bradley "Brad" Milin (27) - He's half Cuban, (his mom was Cuban and his dad was a rich white guy) and he moved to LA when he was four. His parents were never married and his mom and stepdad got married when they moved to California. And it's canon that he grew up rich so I think he would visit his father and just use his money. He started working with Bistro Huddy when he was 20 and it was new. He met Nicole a month later and brought her on the team.

Nicole Kravinsky (26) - She was born in LA and moved out of her parents house when she was 18, and she went to a tiny town in Indiana to live a new life. She dated a guy there and when it didn't work out she moved back in with her parents. She met Brad and he mentioned that his work was hiring. And the rest is history.

Aaron Jaccobs (23) - He was born in Wyoming and raised Jewish. He moved to LA for college and he went to a film school. After he graduated he couldn't find a job in the film industry and he bounced back from job to job for years. When he was 25 he found Bistro Huddy and has been working there ever since. Having a stable job helped him reconnect with his parents and he got more in touch with being Jewish.

Bridgette Cooper (24) - She was raised by her very Scottish grandmother in Sacramento. When she graduated college she met her boyfriend Peter and he got her a job at a nice office that paid her well. When Peter did some things at that job, they had to quit and moved to LA. She started working for Bistro Huddy and she supports both of them now. Amber tells her every day when she walks in to break up with her boyfriend, but Bridgette always says she had to take care of him.

Terrance "Terry" Oliver (47) - He was born and raised in Texas and he lived in one house with his entire extended family. He worked on his dad's farm, he played highschool football, and he was on set to go to college with money his parents had saved up for him. When he was 17 he came out as gay and his grandmother demanded he be kicked out. He traveled to California when he was 34 and he met a 23 year old Clint. They dated secretly for two years before breaking up and Terry moved to LA. When he was 36 he met the current owner of Bistro Huddy and worked his way through until he was the manager. When he was 41 Clint showed up to interview for bartender. Terry gave him the job and they became friends (or maybe more). He won't tell anyone but he loves all the servers like they were his kids.

Joseph "Joey" Miller (39) - He's from LA and was "raised" by his uncle. His uncle was very old and sickly and Joey took care of him until he was 19 and his uncle died. He went to culinary school and he was sure he was going to end up as a world renowned chef. When he was 21, he had no place to live, a pregnant girlfriend, no money, and a culinary degree he had to put in good use. He practically forced Terry to give him a line cook job and he quickly worked his way to executive chef. When his son was 2, he divorced his first wife and met his second wife, who had a 13 year old son named Nico. His mom wasn't around a lot so Joey taught Nico how to cook so he could take care of himself. He divorced Nico's mom when he was 17 and kind of forgot about Nico. Two years later Terry introduced the owners nephew who would be a new line cook. Joey will tell no one that Nico was once his stepson.

Samuel "Sam" "Pickles" Brockton (21) - He was born in LA and Joey hates that they have that similarity. He was raised by both of his parents and they got him a job as a dishwasher at Bistro Huddy when he was 16. He hated the job so much that he finally came out as bisexual to his parents in hopes they might kick him out or something. They were actually very supportive of him and he continued to work there. One day when Nico quit for the second time, Joey needed someone to cut vegetables for him and he brought Sam over to do it. He found that he actually really enjoyed the kitchen environment and once Nico came back he asked to be promoted to line cook. He hasn't told anyone but he has dreams of becoming executive chef one day.

Nicolas "Nico" Menundez-Miller (29) - Nico was born in Mexico and raised in San Francisco. His dad died when he was 6. For seven years he had a paper route, walked dogs, mowed lawns, and did all kinds of of jobs to help his struggling mother out. When he was 13 him and his mom moved to LA when she married his new stepfather. His mom had to work all the time to make enough money to survive and he spent most of his time with Joey. He took Nico took his work and taught him how to cook so he could take care of himself when no one else was around. Four years later Joey and his mom divorced and him and his mom moved in with his uncle. After he graduated highschool, his uncle got him a job at the restaurant he owned. He quits about once a month and he promised to never tell anyone that Joey is his ex- stepfather.

Ruby Warner (24) - She was born in Germany and lived there until she was 10. Her family then moved to New York City and her dad opened a restaurant. He became pretty famous in the city for his food. By the time she was 12, Ruby got rid of her accent completely so she could no longer be bullied. When she showed interest in being a chef, her father began teaching her how to cook and sent her to a prestigious culinary school in California when she was 18. Afraid to tell her father she couldn't find work, she stayed in California and worked a couple part time jobs. When she was 21, her mom called and told her that her father had died. After that she became determined to find work as a cook and she eventually got hired at Bistro Huddy.

Kalina "Amber" Jones (32) - She's from Georgia where she was passed around in the foster care system. When she was 15, one of her foster families moved to LA she was dragged along. A month later they gave her up and since she wasn't in the California foster system yet, she ended up getting lost and had to move in with a friend she had just met. Their family ended up taking care of her and helped her get into college where she pursued a law degree because she knew she could make enough money to support himself. After she graduated she worked at a law firm for quite a few years. When she was 29 she had had enough of the job she had and applied for the hostess position at Bistro Huddy. She's had a crush on Joey at most the whole time she's worked there, but since he was older than her and she knew he had a lot of family problems, she started away.

Telcinto "Clint" Marcello (36) - His mother was Polynesian and his father was Korean. They moved to Guatemala after they married and Telcinto was born. He lived there for 15 years before they sent him to California to live with his aunt. After living there for years he met Terry. He still spoke little English but enjoyed being around him. Terry gave him the nickname Clint. After dating for two years, they broke up when Clint wanted to go back to Guatemala to find his parents. Once he got there he learned that his parents had birth died of alcohol poisoning a few years ago. He fell into a deep depression and developed a drinking habit himself. He moved back to California and got into therapy. He decided to become a bartender and give a positive view on alcohol instead of what he had. When he went to interview at Bistro Huddy, Terry ended up being the manager there. A few years later and he was still working there and still friend with Terry (wink wink).

Patrick "Trick" Miller (18) - His mother moved from Japan and met his father in LA. When he was 2 his mom and dad divorced and he didn't see his father for a good seven years. When he was 6 he learned that his father had a stepson and he resented him for leaving him for another kid. When he was 15 he dropped out of school and needed money and somewhere to live. He decided to go to his father who gave him money and allowed him to live with him. After a few months he couldn't stand living with his dad anymore and he moved out but keep kept in touch to keep his money incoming. When he got arrested for stealing from a seven eleven he borrowed a suit from his dad and somehow ended up becoming a busser at Bistro Huddy.

[maryloomis]

my mary (and lila) loomis headcanons (some of which I plan to incorporate in fanfic):

cw: abuse for a lot of them (also mentions of csa, r*pe and slight transphobia)

Mary was conceived in Lila’s hotel room on that first night that Lila & Sam first investigated Norman. they both got drunk and commiserated/trauma bonded over Marion’s murder & had a one night-stand

because both sleeping with your sister’s fiancé AND having a child out of wedlock were unacceptable in 1959/1960, and abortion was illegal, they eloped/had a shotgun wedding before Lila was even visibly pregnant at all, let alone gave birth

the Crane side of the family was very strict and conservative and they disowned both of their daughters, Marion (posthumously) for being a thief and Lila for getting pregnant with her former future brother-in-law’s child. The grandmother Mary makes reference to in Psycho II is Sam’s mother

Lila was actually the screw-up/black sheep/“wild child” while Marion was the golden child when they were teens and in their early 20s (which is part of why Marion found stealing the $40,000 so thrilling…..it’s because she’d never done anything like it before in her life) until she got her shit together

Lila is younger than Marion by 3 years

Mary is named after Marion (obv)

Mary is an only child (obv)

Mary is a Virgo born in September (since Marion’s murder & everything w/ Norman happened in December)

since Norman being incarcerated took place in December, and he’s released 22 years after (which would be 1981), in Psycho II Mary is 20, turning 21 that September

Mary is in her junior year of college in Psycho II, and she's studying forensic psychology specifically bc of the Norman Bates case and how it affected her. She wants to become either a forensic investigator, FBI agent, or go to the police academy when she graduates

Lila and Sam were incompatible bc they barely knew each other prior to getting married so they had countless arguments (many of which were over how to discipline toddler Mary — Lila was authoritarian, Sam was more carefree and wanted to let little Mary do whatever she wanted)

one of Mary’s first memories at age 3 is of her parents fighting

Sam died in a car accident when Mary was 4 so she has little to no memory of her dad, she’s only ever known Lila

Lila never remarried; she raised Mary completely by herself actually no this is a fucking lie. she remarried ONE piece of shit guy who started (CW: CSA) sexually abusing Mary when she was a young child. when Mary tried telling her mom about it, Lila refused to believe her & thought she was lying. Oh yeah, this guy is also a wealthy asswipe and he moved them into his megamansion. They divorced shortly before Psycho II (hence Lila still going by ‘Loomis’) but that was because he left Lila for a younger woman, not bc of the CSA

Lila (as overcompensation for how her parents treated her, and how she used to be, and out of resentment at Sam because she thinks Marion’s death is all his fault, and now he’s dead too and she could never get any closure and she’s stuck with this child) ramps up the hardcore disciplinarianism and starts physically disciplining Mary whenever she does wrong, this starts when Mary is 5

Mary takes after Sam in looks, which only adds to Lila’s rage & resentment

Lila became an alcoholic after Marion’s death (sometimes her drinking would be why her and Sam would fight) and it worsened after Sam’s death. Her alcohol abuse only exacerbated her physical abuse towards Mary

Lila has only once in her life ever told Mary “I love you,” other than that she doesn’t say it. And she‘s never uttered that phrase to Sam either

When fighting with Sam—and usually while Lila was drunk—Lila would scream at him that Marion’s death was all his fault, because it was because of him that Marion stole the money that led her to the Bates Motel, and that she wished she’d never met or married him and wished she never had his “bastard child” (Mary)….. in front of Mary

Lila would rant while drunk about Norman and wanting to kill him

Mary was a social outcast her whole life who got bullied in elementary and middle school and barely made any friends

Mary lost her virginity at 14 (which infuriated Lila when she found out)

Mary once got pregnant at 15 but she had a miscarriage

⬆️ both times made her get beaten SENSELESS by Lila

Mary developed hypersexuality & started sleeping around in high school in order to cope with her mom’s beatings & her stepdad’s sexual abuse (and stop feeling pressured to be a good modest Catholic schoolgirl), which got her branded a slut/whore and she had to change schools twice bc of it

Lila weirdly 'found God' and became a Christian in the middle of Mary's high school years (didn't stop the beatings tho). The second school she put Mary in was a Catholic school, wherein she further rebelled

Mary has an eating disorder and body image issues

Mary is a huge fan of heavy metal and rock music (Black Sabbath, Rolling Stones, Exodus, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Metallica, Motley Crue, Deep Purple, Sex Pistols, KISS, Alice Cooper, The Eagles, Blue Oyster Cult, Judas Priest etc.) but she had to hide it from her mom who thought it to be "devil music". She HATES the Beatles tho. She also loves David Bowie, and Prince, and she's also secretly a fan of stuff like Diana Ross, Donna Summer, MJ, etc.

Mary either can’t drive or doesn’t have her own car (I’m undecided on which one)

Mary's psychology class in high school once had to study the Norman Bates case for a discussion about psychotics who kill and the entire classroom turned to look at her bc they knew of her family's connection to the case; she also got mercilessly bullied for it

Mary tried to write to Norman when he was in prison exactly twice. The first time when she was 14 and it was a letter expressing hatred for him for killing her aunt and by proxy turning her mom into an alcoholic, abusive monster, the second time when she was 17 and she was curious about Norman and wanted to know more about him. Both letters were intercepted—the first one by the staff at the institution Norman was imprisoned at, the second one by Lila. And Lila absolutely lost her shit when she found it, and she screamed at Mary and called her a "traitor" to her aunt and a sick freak, and beat Mary within an inch over her life over it, to the point where Mary was purple all over from bruises, and that was the hardest her mom ever beat her. She also kicked her out of the house for a week over this & Mary was forced to stay with a dodgy male classmate who had a crush on her during that time

Mary secretly kept a newspaper that depicted Norman's mugshot from the 50s, and she would never admit it to herself but a small part of her found Norman attractive

Mary moved out of her mom's house the second she graduated high school and she only made one lasting friend which was her roommate in her college dorm (this roommate is also who introduced Mary to smoking weed); this is the "girlfriend" she makes reference to living with when she tries to leave Norman's house

Mary met Scott in college as well, he was her lab partner turned bf, and they'd been together 2 years before he cheated on her

Scott was abusive as fuck, he'd physically and emotionally abuse Mary and whenever Mary would find the strength to leave him he'd always bring her gifts and shit, or propose marriage and she'd come crawling back. It was only after she got involved with Norman that she finally was able to ditch Scott for good.

Mary started partying A LOT as soon she hit college

Mary was briefly part of a sorority until she realized it wasn’t for her

Mary almost got (CW: rape) r*ped at a frat party

Mary kissed a girl at another frat party during one of the few times she got seriously drunk

Mary originally wanted to study dance/become a dancer, specifically a ballerina, but then she switched her major to psychology (yes I took this from Meg Tilly's actual backstory)

Mary had long hair down to her waist her entire life but cut it to the mullet she has in Psycho II when she was in college. Lila was disgusted when she saw it bc she thought Mary was trying to look like "a boy"

hope y'all enjoyed these!!!

[horny4hetfield]

Rockies Christmas - Day 9

Warnings:  Happy Birthday Lars!, Snowmobile use, Severe accident (no one dies), Severe Angst

There’s a buzzing noise in the room.  I feel James shift, his hand slapping around on his nightstand.�� The buzzing stops, but his phone is powered on.  The light from the screen seems exceedingly bright in the dark room.  Then it’s on speaker mode and ringing.

“Jah?”

James in full voice sings Happy Birthday to Lars.

“Thanks, you inconsiderate bastard!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who decided to be born the day after Christmas in Denmark!”

I love to hear these two rib each other lovingly.

I can also hear that James is not really awake.  He ends the call without telling Lars about the biggest news of the day.  He sets his phone down on his bedside table, snakes his arms around me and we are both back to sleep.

The smell of coffee wakes us.  I untangle myself from James, kissing his forehead in the process, and head to the bathroom.  He’s still face down in the pillows when I come out.  Grabbing a clean pair of leggings and a t-shirt, I get dressed.  Grabbing a clean sweater, I smack the covers over James’ legs.  “C’mon Grandpa!  Wake up!”

James rolls over, “Oh yeah!”  He slides from the bed, uses the bathroom and gets dressed while I make up the bed and toss the dirties into the hamper.

Getting into the kitchen, the three girls are cooking.  “Dad, we used some of the roast to make breakfast tacos.”

“That’s fine and smells great!” James smiles. 

Looking out the window, it has stopped snowing, and the sun is trying to shine through the clouds scudding across the sky.

CBF comes from the living room with the tree pitcher, “Where does this go?”  Both Cali and Marcella point to the end of the counter.

James makes our coffees, and we take them to the kitchen table.  A few minutes later, we are served breakfast tacos.  Basically, breakfast burritos just in smaller tortillas.  And a little messier.  But they are really good.  The three boys start grabbing plates.  “They cooked, we clean up” CBF says.

“Hey Dad, can we take out the snowmobiles?” Castor asks.

“They haven’t been used in a couple of years.  They’ll need some work first.”

MBF speaks up, “I’ve worked on engines before.  I’ll be happy to help.”

Nodding, James stands up, “Then let’s get out to the shed.”  The four men leave through the garage.  I hear, “Damn!  Nice Shelby!” as the door closes.  I can only giggle and imagine the looks on the boys’ faces when James tells them it’s mine.

The kitchen is clean and tidy.  “I hate to do this” as I pull out the big mixer.  “But I’m going to make another mess.”

I put together the batter for something Grandmother called Date Nut Bread.  I get it into the oven.  I may have over done again as I doubled the recipe.  The girls all sit at the counter watching.  We talk about a lot of things from fashion to hit songs on the radio to hairstyles.

I can hear the snowmobile engines being turned on and off in the background.

“How did you meet Dad?” Marcella asks.

“It was a blind date.”  I get looks from his daughters.  “Derek, one of the editors I work with knows someone on your Dad’s crew.  Derek wanted me to go to a car show, but it was a charity event and I would need a date.  Derek was taking his own girlfriend.  Sooo, I needed a plus one.”  Checking the timer, “Derek reached out to Martin and called in a favor.”

“I think I remember a Martin.  Short guy?”  I nod.  “Bald?”  I nod again.  “He’s a nice guy.”

CGF asks, “You like cars?”

“And football.”

“Jets or Giants?” Cali asks.

“Seattle Seahawks.”  That got me some looks.  “Blame my college roommate.  She’s from Seattle.”

The garage door opens and James walks in carrying a red helmet wearing a heavy snowsuit.  “Whose going?” 

Both Marcella and CGF speak up. 

“Marcella, can you please show CGF where the big snow suits are?”

“Sure!  C’mon!”  The two women leave.

James looks at Cali.  “How you doing this morning?”

“Better” she smiles at her Dad.  “The rolls that Kira made don’t make me want to puke every ten minutes.”

“That’s good news!  I’m glad you both are feeling better!”  He wraps an arm around me, “Wanna go?”  He’s got the huge cheshire cat grin smeared on his face.

“No, I’ll stay here.  I have Date Nut Bread in the oven.”  I smile up at James, “Go have fun!”

He kisses me, “We’ll be back before sunset.”  He smacks my ass as he walks towards the garage.

“How much longer on this date bread nut stuff?”

I huff out a laugh, “Date Nut Bread.  It’s almost done.”

“It smells really good!  Thanks again for showing me about the baking soda.”

“You’re welcome.”  The timer dings and I test, then pull out the pans.   The snowmobiles roar down the driveway.

We talk about how she met her boyfriend.  How she and her siblings got along as kids.  How it was tough being the oldest daughter of a megarocksuperstargod.  I slice a piece of the bread for Cali.  She nibbles.  “Dis ish wrewwy good!”

“I hope you both like it!” I grin. "It's better with cream cheese on it."

My ears pick up an engine.  A single engine.  I look at Cali then I run to the front door.  There’s CGF.  Alone.  Her machine stops just before the front steps and she yanks off her helmet.  “Castor gave me this” as she pulls his phone from her snowsuit.  She puts in the passcode.  There on the screen:  Use house phone.  Jacobs 439-555-2122  Coordinates:  yadda yadda..  Dad’s unconscious.

I wrap my arm around her and pull her into the house, “How long did it take you to get here?” I calmly ask.

“Twenty minutes, I think.”

Grabbing the phone in the kitchen, I dial the number.

It’s answered, “Hi James!”

“This is Kira.”

“Who?”

“The new girlfriend.  James is down.  I have coordinates.”

“Give them to me.  What happened.”

I give him the coordinates and hand the house phone over to CGF, “Just tell him exactly what you saw.”

“We’d been in a field.  James said that he was going to check out the sides of the field.  He wasn’t going really fast.  The next thing … his snowmobile rears up and over and James is under it.”

Cali’s grabbing my arm.  Tightly.  CGF hands the phone back to me.  “Ok.  They are out there.  I’ll get the chopper in the air right now.  The others will have to ride their machines back.  I can’t take them with me.”

“I understand.  Where will you take him?”

“Denver, Swedish.  I’ll call this number when I have him onboard.”

“Thanks.”  The call ends.  I dig out my phone and call the bands travel agent, “Jordan?”

“Hey!”

“James is hurt.  He’s being airlifted to Denver.  I’m going to need a chopper for seven soon.”

“What happened?”

“All I know right now is that he’s unconscious.  There’s a medivac chopper headed out to collect him.”

“Hold the line.”

The three of us girls look at each other as a helicopter zooms over the house.

“Ok.  The Eagle county airport.  Call the number I just texted" my phone vibrates "to you when you leave the house.”

“It’s gonna take about 30 minutes for the kids to get back to the house.”

“Kira, just call that number.  There’s a chopper on standby for you.  Do you want me to call anyone?”

I heave a sigh, “I guess Lars.”

“Will do.”

“This is a fuck of a present.”

“Oh shit.  It is his birthday.”

“Maybe Pete first?”

“Good idea.  You have my number if you need anything.” 

“Thanks.”

That call ends.  I look at the two young women in front of me.  “We need to get some things pulled together.  As soon as the others get back, we’re leaving.  CGF, go get out of those wet clothes.  Toss some dry clothes into a backpack for Castor.  Cali, can you put together some clothes for the others?”

“On it.”  She turns, then stops, “How are you so calm?”

I smile at her, “You can’t hear my heartbeat.”  Nodding, “Let’s go ladies.”  I dash into our bedroom and pull on jeans, a bra and a thermal shirt.  I grab another pair of sweats and shirt and stuf them into the bag.  A run through the bathroom, I grab a hairbrush.  Returning to the kitchen, I grab a handful of granola bars and toss those into the big purple bag.  I pull my wallet from my purse on the counter, along with both our phones and add those to the purple bag.  “Shoes” I mumble to myself.  Going to the garage door, I pull on my mukluks.  I also grab our coats.  Just as I return to the kitchen, the house phone rings.

“Yes?” My voice much louder than I wanted.

“I’m airborne.  The others are on the way back.  He’s still out.”

“Thanks.  Fly safe.”

“Thanks.”  The call ends.

Cali and CGF are standing there.  “The others are on the way back.  James is still unconscious.”  I look at both of them, “This will be the hardest part.  Waiting for the others to return.”  I grab CGF’s arm, “Ya did good.”  She starts to cry.  I just pull her into a hug.  Cali joins in.  “Hey.  Seriously, ya did good.”  We stand there together for a time.  I double check that the oven is off and put the loaves into storage bags.  I heave a sigh, “Let’s get the bags into the truck.”

“Dad’s truck?” Cali sounds slightly aghast.

“We can’t all fit into my Shelby.”

“The Shelby is your car?” CGF’s voice is a little squeaky.

“Yup.”  I grab the key fob for the truck and my purple bag.

The girls grab the backpacks they’d packed, “Seriously, you are going to drive Dad’s truck.”

“Cali” I turn and smile smally at the young woman, “yes, I am going to drive that damn behemoth.”  As I open the garage door, “It’s the only option.”  I hit the button for the garage overhead door and plop my purple bag on the console between the front seats.  “I’m going to back it out.  CGF, go get your machine.  We’ll just park them all in here for now.”  As she runs, “Please don’t hit my Shelby” I give her a smile.

I had to spend a moment or so adjusting the driver seat from the settings for James’ 6 foot 1 body to my 5 foot 2 one.  I finally get it set and back his damned truck out pointing it down the driveway.  Just as CGF gets her machine in the garage, I hear the others coming.  Cali tosses the bags she’d packed into the bed and climbs in the back seat.  CGF helps point the other machines into the garage.  Castor jumps into the passenger seat dropping something to the floor between his feet.  Pointing to the item, “What’s that?”

He picks it up, “What’s left of Dad’s helmet” he says softly.  It’s split almost in two.  He puts it between his feet again.  His hands are shaking.  I rest my hand on his arm.  He pats my hand.

I heave out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.  Then I lean out the window, “Marcella, please check that I locked the front door.”  MBF joins Cali in the back seat. 

Marcella climbs in, “Yes it’s locked.”  CGF squeezes in the back too.

“Sorry for the tight fit back there.” I hit the button on the remote and watch the garage door roll all the way down.  “It’s only till we get to the airport.”  Leaving the driveway, my phone syncs up.  I hit the message app and call the number that Jordan had given me.

“Eagle Airport Choppers.”

“My name is Kira.”

“Are you on your way?”

“Yes, we are.”

“What are you driving?”

“A big ass truck.”  I can hear the huffed laugh on the other end.

“We’ll have the chopper ready for you when you get here.  You can park the big ass truck in the hanger.”

I actually laugh “Thank you!”

“See you in about 40 minutes?”

“Highway patrol can mail James the ticket.  Thirty.”

“See you then.”  The call ends.

I hit the freeway and punch the gas.  Fortunately, the road is clear, there is no snow falling, very little traffic and the gas tank is full.  I don’t even look at the speedometer.  I keep my eyes on the road.  “There’s some granola bars in this bag” I elbow it to Castor, “if you’re hungry.”

Castor pulls the bag into his lap, “Thanks.  Anyone else?”  There were a couple of takers.

“Hey, I have dry clothes for you guys in the back” Cali speaks up.

“Let’s not forget those bags at the airport” Marcella adds.

Twenty-eight minutes later, I’m parking the truck in the hanger.  I hand the fob over to the chopper pilot, “Please don’t ding his truck.”

“No ma’am, I won’t” he smiles at me.  He puts me in the co-pilot’s seat, the kids all get the back seats with the bags on the floor between their feet.  “This will take about 40 minutes with today’s weather.  I have gotten permission to land at the hospital.”  He taps my arm pointing at my feet, “Ma’am, I do ask that you keep your feet off the controllers there.”  I nod and tuck my feet under the seat.  Moments later we are airborne.  I try to keep from shaking.  The panic is trying to set in.  The what if’s are beginning to run amuck.  What if he’s paralyzed.  What if he never wakes.  What if he’s suffered brain trauma.  I feel a hand grab my right arm from behind.  I recognize the nails.  It’s Cali.  I just put my hand over hers and squeeze.  That’s when I realize that I’ve been twisting the ring on my finger and it’s sore.  Denver begins to loom up out of the snow.  I make sure that I’m not hitting any of the flight controllers as the pilot brings the chopper in to land.  He powers down and the blades slowly come to a stop.  He rests his hand on my arm, “We all hope that James is fine."

I nod nervously, “Thank you.  I will keep you informed.”

“Please do.  I’ll be happy to make the return flight with one more onboard.”

“Thank you.”  I climb out of the chopper and collect my purple bag. 

A nurse greets us on the helipad.  “I was told to expect you.  I’m Nancy.  This way.”  She leads us into a waiting area.  “Please have a seat, the doctor will be right in.” 

My heart is racing.  This is either really good news.  Or super bad.  Cali sits next to me, holding her stomach.  “Upset?”

“Yeah, and I didn’t grab the baking soda.”

“We’re in a hospital.  I’m sure they’ll have something” I pat her arm.  She grins.

A middle-aged doctor comes in, “Kira Mooreland?”

“That’s me.”

“Would you come with me please?”

“Doc, these are his children.  Whatever you’re going to tell me, you might as well say it right here cause I’m just going to tell them.  It’s better coming directly from the doctor’s mouth.”

Nodding, he pulls up the magazine strewn table and sits.  “Then let me be blunt.  He’s damned lucky.”  He leans elbows on his knees.  “James does have a severe concussion and some major bruising.   Other than that, he’s fine.”  I hear all the kids heave a sigh.

“What about his neck?” I ask.

“He’s had a full CT scan.  The herniated disc is actually fine.”  I heave a sigh.  “I’m going to keep him under tonight.  You can see him tomorrow morning.”  He stands, “But not before 7am, please.”

“Thank you doctor.”  I stand and shake his hand.  “By the way, you might have to secure his wrists to the bed frame.  He’s known for pulling out his IV ports.”

The doctor cocks a grin, “Yeah, we already discovered that.”  The kids laugh.

“Doctor, he’s also a recovering alcoholic.  Please keep the pain meds to the minimum and non-narcotic.”

“I will see what I can do.  I appreciate the information.  I will also add it to his permanent records.”

“Thank you again.  We’ll see you tomorrow morning.”  I sit as the doctor leaves and heave a sigh.  Now.  To house six kids.  I call Jordan.

“Kira.”

“He’s fine.  Severe concussion and bruising, but fine.”  I hear a breath of relief on the other end.  “They are keeping him at least tonight.”

“I’ll get you rooms.”

“Can you please get me a suite?  I don’t think any of us want to be separated tonight.”  I see all the kids nodding.

“Let me see what I can book.  One night or two?”

“Do two, can always cancel the second.”

“Two it is.  You’ll need car service too.”

“Yes please.”

“Ok, van.  We do have a couple of people in the area that I can call on to be runners.  Do you need anything?”

“Hang on.”  I look to the kids, “Do y’all need anything?”  Nodding at Cali, “Besides baking soda?” I smile.  I pass along the two requests – a box of baking soda and a bottle of melatonin.  “Hey Jordan, can we please get some catering?  Pasta maybe.”  Again, all the kids nod.

“Sure.”  I hear clicking on a keyboard.  “Ooookaaaayy, the car service van will be at the hospital main entrance in about 5 minutes.  I didn’t want to send it to the ER door.”

“Understood.”

“Runner tells me that he’ll have your asks at the hotel about the same time you guys get there.”

“Jordan?”

“Yes?”

“You deserve a raise.”

“You get them to agree to that and I won’t say no!”  I just laugh.  “Kira, call me if you need anything.”

“I will.  Thank you again for everything.”  I end the call.  “Ok, car service will be at the main entrance in five.”

The seven of us collect bags and coats and wander to the main doors, getting lost once in the halls.  It was a minute before the van showed up.  We climb into the black vehicle.  The driver was smooth and courteous.  Once at the hotel, I go to the front desk.  “Checking in.”

“Last name please?”

“Mooreland.”  I put my driver’s license on the counter.  I can see his eyes widen as he starts clicking on the keyboard.

“Thank you.  How many key cards would you like, Ms Mooreland?”

“Seven please.  And I prefer Miss” I say kindly.

“My apologies, Miss Mooreland.  The key cards will take just a moment.”

“Castor?” a voice behind me calls out.

“Timothy!” Castor moves to shake the man’s hand.  He has several bags with him.

“Miss Mooreland?”  I turn back to the desk.  “Your key cards.  The elevator is just there.  You will need to use a key card on the pad for the Penthouse.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Please do let us know if you need anything during your stay.”  I just nod at him.

Collecting my purple gym bag, I nod to the kids.  They follow, as does Timothy – who is carrying a very large bag – probably dinner, into the elevator.  I tap a key card on the pad and hit the P button.  The doors open on the biggest hotel room I’ve ever seen.  It was like walking into someone’s super fancy living room.  There was even a grand piano.  Like roaches in the light, the kids scatter to claim a room.  Timothy sets the bag on the dining table.  He rests his hand on my shoulder.  “Jordan told me.”  I can only nod.  “Here’s my number.  If you need anything.”  He hands me a business card.

“Thank you.”

Timothy pats my shoulder and yells bye to Castor.  Then he’s on the elevator. 

Sighing, I drop my purple bag on the sofa and start pulling dinner out of the bags.  Two large containers of pasta, two kinds of sauce, breadsticks, tossed salad, cheese packets, plates, utensils and napkins.  Lots of napkins.  Cali comes over and grabbing some breadsticks, helps me get things sorted.  “Hey dorks!” she yells.  “Dinner.”  Giving me a nod, she just smiles.

Grabbing my bag, I go into the big room and sit on the bed.  It looks so huge knowing that I’ll be the only one in it.  I shudder.

“You ok?” Marcella asks quietly.

I heave a sigh, “I haven’t slept alone since September.”

Marcella sits on the bed.  “I can see why Dad likes you.”  She looks at me, “Thank you.”  I look at her.  “We’d have been a mess today without you.”

“One of you would have stepped up.”

She looks at her fingers, “Maybe.”  She looks at me – with her dad’s blue eyes.  “Still, I’m glad you are here.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey Kira”

“yeah”

“Why don’t you have kids?”

A smile spreads over my face, “I didn’t find the right man until I was too old.”

She gives me a look, “You’re forty.  You can still have kids.”

I chuckle, “Marcella.  I’m two years older than your Dad.”

“Naw.”

“I can never call him Papa Het” I chuckle softly.

Marcella just starts laughing.  Castor comes to the door, “What’s so funny?”

Marcella points to me, “She’s older than Dad!”

“Naw.”

I just nod smiling.

“Wow!” Castor smiles.  “You don’t look it.”

“Thank you, Castor.”

“Ok, y’all.  The old lady” Cali winks at me “needs some alone time.  She’s taken care of us all day.”

I get hugs from all of them, Cali making sure to set the melatonin on the dresser and then closing the door.  I close the drapes in the room, take a melatonin and head into the bathroom.  I deposit my clothes on the counter and start the shower.  The room fills with steam.  I walk in and let the water pound on my back.  He’s going to be fine.  He’s not paralyzed.  There’s no apparent brain damage.  His neck is ok.  All those nasty what if’s float away.  But the terror that I’d buried for the sake of the kids bubbles up.  I slide down the wall of the shower stall to the floor sobbing quietly curling into a ball. Body shaking sobs.  I push away the images my mind had created during the day:  James in a wheelchair.  James never being able to play guitar again.  James having to exist in the terror of his own song.  I finally get to the hiccupping stage and stand up.  I do a quick body scrub and rinse.  Then turning off the water, dry off and wrap up my hair.  My sobbing had put my head in the stream from the shower head.  Pulling the sweats out of my bag, dress and climb into the massive bed.  Alone.

The stress of the day, the hot shower and the melatonin have me under in short order.

[moonyasnow]

OK IT STARTED OUT AS 'haha I think I wanna answer ALL of these questions that'd be fun' BUT @screamintoad YOU ASKED FOR IT

I'M GONNA ANSWER ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS FOR ALL OF MY OCS

ALL OF THEM

ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT? THROWING IN MY SIDE OC FLÉCHER TOO BC WHY NOT (oop— how many of you even know he exists???)

Everything under the cut bc this is gonna be longgggggggggggg

I tried my best to make all the answers interesting but there are like 2 questions where almost every character just has 'N/A' written for them

🎲 - Biological parents Tomoe - father Takahiro & mother Hanae, very loving Irina - mother Diana & father Anthony - both absolutely terrible. Diana is dead and who knows where Anthony is. Both were neglectful and verbally abusive Spike - mother Marta & father Dino - no idea where mom is and dad only the guy who fathered him Junia - father Argus & mother Lydia - father died before Junia could meet him and Lydia was very controlling and often put Junia's confidence down Lisle - mother Carla & father Elliot - raised him, maybe a bit TOO loving, almost to the point of being yes-men. See him as some sort of miracle. Veronica - father Vladimir & mother Cecilia (both dead) Veronica does not remember much about either of them Victor - mother Cecilia & father Vladimir (both dead) Victor remembers them very well and misses them both Artemisia - father Simeon & mother Marigold - the king and queen of the Land of Dawning. father has barely been in her life at all and mother has tried to hide her away from the world bc she's worried what people will say about Artemisia- both for Artemisia's sake and her own Flécher - Dad Angelo & mom Lisa. Angelo and Lisa broke up when he was a baby, and Angelo got custody

👑 - Person who raised your OC and/or was important during their formative years Tomoe - Her parents, her grandparents, her history teacher Irina - Her childhood friend 'Clover'- her at that point only experience of a love that wasn't toxic or abusive. But losing him was so painful she practically repressed her memories of him Spike - His grandmother Junia - Her mother Lydia Lisle - His mother Carla and father Elliot Veronica - Her adoptive father, who she just calls 'father', and her teacher miss Averesch who was the closest she ever had to a maternal figure Victor - Veronica who always protected him when they were children. Also Idia and Ortho; even if it was just for a short while, they were a comfort in his daily life of fear Artemisia - Her sister Cerise was incredibly important to her Flécher - His dad Angelo. Angelo was pretty young when he had Rocky (Flécher's first name - Flécher is both of their surname) so they're pretty close

❓ - Estranged family/relatives they've never met Tomoe - Her mother's parents (never met) Irina - Her father (estranged- she has no idea where he is but thinks he's probably alive) Spike - His mom (never met) Junia - Her dad (died before she was born) Lisle - His uncle and cousin (FORMERLY estranged) Veronica - The relatives who kidnapped Victor (only met once- WHEN Victor was being kidnapped) Victor - His and Veronica's adoptive father (estranged) Artemisia - Her father (so distant they might as well be estranged. She cannot remember ever speaking a single word to him, or vise versa) Flécher - His mom (can't remember)

📎 - Siblings/close family Tomoe - Sachie, Kouta Irina - Her uncle(though 'close' is a bit of a stretch) Spike - His gran Junia - N/A Lisle - N/A Veronica - Victor Victor - Veronica Artemisia - Cerise, Valerian Flécher - His dad

✨ - Children (current or future) Tomoe - Grim(kinda counts), Nuru(f) Irina - Malina(f), Malachi(m), Mallory(nb), Malek(m), Maleah(f), Malcolm(m), Malindt(nb), Malissa(f) Spike - Roza(f) Junia - Hilda(f), Julian(m), Hazel(nb) Lisle - N/A Veronica - N/A Victor - Toby(m), Genevieve(f) Artemisia - N/A Flécher - Does fur babies count? If so he ends up having a BUNCH of dogs in the future.

💎 - Chosen family Tomoe - Grim, Irina Irina - Tomoe, Grim Spike - Leona Junia - Jade, Floyd, Azul, (later on Trey's family) Lisle - Idia Veronica - Victor(does it count if they're blood-family too?), Vil, Rook, Epel Victor - Veronica Artemisia - Lilia, Malleus, Sebek, Silver Flécher - His best friend Valentine, probably

🧸 - Childhood friends Tomoe - Tooru, Kaede, Miki Irina - She has forgotten his name Spike - Oscar + his other friends in the gang Junia - Some kids she used to play with as a child Lisle - All the kids in his village (though he thought he was better than them) Veronica - Victor, Sebek(? 'friends' isn't exactly the right word) Victor - Veronica, Idia, Ortho Artemisia - N/A :( Flécher - Some people from his class in school. Sage Island isn't a very big place, so there aren't a lot of kids there, so they're all pretty tight with each other

🏆 - Best friends (past, current or future) Tomoe - Tooru, Karde & Miki (past), Ace & Deuce Irina - Malleus, Jamil, Ruggie Spike - Oscar (past), Leona, Floyd Junia - Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Lilia, Cater, Skully Lisle - Cater, Idia Veronica - Victor, Cater Victor - Veronica, Idia, Ortho Artemisia - Idia Flécher - A guy in his class named Valentine; they've been seat-neighbors since they were 10

💌 - First crush/love Tomoe - Leona Irina - Her childhood friend Spike - A store clerk a few years older than him when he was 9 Junia - A neighbor's son Lisle - N/A Veronica - A crush on a girl in her class from when she was 10 Victor - A crush on a teacher when he was 6 Artemisia - Jamil Flécher - Irina (his first serious crush at least. And since she's only a year older than him he at first thinks he might have a chance. Is a bit sad/disappointed when he finds out she likes someone, but isn't too upset about it)

💋 - First kiss Tomoe - Leona Irina - A guy she had an infatuation with before TWST Spike - Neige Junia - A boy who had a crush on her when she was 12— she didn't like him back, she was just incredibly confused Lisle - N/A Veronica - That girl she had a crush on when she was 10. Veronica was going to just kiss her on the cheek, but her crush moved her face at the last second. Afterwards Veronica ran away out of embarrassment. Victor - Jack Artemisia - Jamil Flécher - Has not had it yet

🌹 - First relationship Tomoe - Leona Irina - Malleus (That guy she was infatuated with does not count bc he never said the two were an item. He basically just lead her on) Spike - Neige Junia - Trey Lisle - N/A Veronica - Cater Victor - Jack Artemisia - Jamil Flécher - When he was 7 he and one of his classmates were 'dating' for 2 days

🌶️ - First intimacy Tomoe - Leona Irina - Again, that one guy she had an infatuation with before TWST (everything about the situation wasn't great. She didn't even start out liking him— but when he showed some kind of interest in her, she was drawn to it, since no one ever really had before then. It didn't feel particularly satisfying, but she didn't mind, because someone actually wanted to touch her AT ALL for like the first time. And he kissed her sometimes, and sometimes held her for a little while after, which were more than enough for her— starved for affection as she was— to fall in love with him. She was hoping it would become a relationship, but he was also an inexperienced teenager and instead of just saying he didn't want a relationship he lead her on and used her for a LONG time. But she kept being around him because she'd developed feelings for him and she was just hoping that if she waited long enough, at some point he'd come to love her, too.) Spike - Neige (he's a hopeless romantic and had never been in a relationship before Neige) Junia - Trey (Junia had wanted to do stuff with other guys she was attracted to before Trey— but how controlling her mother was meant she just didn't have any opportunity to) Lisle - N/A (he is not interested at all. In fact, imagining himself in those kind of scenarios actively disgusts him) Veronica - Cater (she does not let anyone even come near her unless she trusts them. And that kind of intimacy for her is reserved only for someone she trusts and loves a LOT, and who she can sense returns those feelings. And she just didn't trust anyone her age who she found attractive in that way before Cater) Victor - Jack (his trauma means he's veeeeery choosy about who can or cannot touch him even strictly platonically, so he never felt safe enough with anyone before Jack) Artemisia - Jamil (she was never interested before him) Flécher - N/A

💍 - Partners (current or future) Tomoe - Leona (Leomoe 🦁x🌻) Irina - Malleus (Mallina 🐉x🐰) they get together directly after his Overblot, because she confesses to him right after it Spike - Neige (Spineige ❄️x🥊) they got together about a year before the start of TWST's plot Junia - Trey (Trenia ♣️x🐚) Lisle - N/A Veronica - Cater (Catonica ♦️x🐝) they get together after NRC Victor - Jack (Jacktor 🐺x🩸) Artemisia - Jamil (Artemil 🐍x🦢) they get together during GloMas- but secretly Flécher - I'm thinking he might end up with Valentine eventually? In like a sorta casual on-and-off thing?

💔 - Exes Tomoe - N/A Irina - Again, infatuation guy does not count Spike - N/A Junia - N/A Lisle - N/A Veronica - N/A Victor - N/A Artemisia - N/A Flécher - He and his classmate he 'dated' when they were 7 'broke up' because his 'partner' said his favorite animal wasn't cool

🍑 - Notable flings Tomoe - N/A Irina - infatuation guy (who knows maybe I'll give him a name one day) Spike - N/A Junia - N/A Lisle - N/A Veronica - N/A Victor - N/A Artemisia - N/A Flécher - N/A

✏️ - Classmates Tomoe - Grim, Deuce, Ace (1A) Irina - Sebek (1D) Spike - Vil (3C) Junia - Ruggie, Victor (2B) Lisle - Cater, Idia (3B) Veronica - Floyd (2D) Victor - Ruggie, Junia (2B) Artemisia - Literally no one 🥲 I put her in the ONLY otherwise empty class (1E) she and Malleus are both the only ones in their class. Sibling vibes Flécher - He does not go NRC but his class in the school he goes to on Sage Island has around 15 kids, including himself

⚙️ - Coworkers/boss Tomoe - Crowley (boss) Irina - Crowley (boss) Jade, Floyd, Ruggie, Junia, Lisle (coworkers, former), Azul (boss, former) Spike - Leona (boss) Junia - Jade, Floyd, Lisle, Ruggie (coworkers) irina (coworker, former), Azul (boss) Lisle - Jade, Floyd, Junia, Ruggie (coworkers) Irina (coworker, former), Azul (boss) Veronica - N/A Victor - N/A Artemisia - N/A Flécher - Crowley (boss) Sam (also boss, just the level under Crowley)

🐾 - Pets Tomoe - Cat named Mochi (pre-TWST) Irina - Wanted but never had bunnies Spike - N/A Junia - N/A Lisle - Some fish growing up Veronica - N/A Victor - Too many to count, almost all dead now. But still around :) Artemisia - N/A Flécher - A big golden retriever named Bonnie

🔪 - Enemy/nemesis Tomoe - Azul (Lawful Good straight-A student vs Lawful Evil straight-A student) Irina - Victor (bc he hates Malleus and is very open about that fact) Spike - N/A (unless he finds out what happened in Book 5, in which case it'd be Vil. He literally tried to poison Spike's boyfriend Neige) Junia - N/A Lisle - N/A Veronica - Leona Victor - Malleus, Lilia, Sebek, Rook, Vil, Epel, Victor Sandersson ( @theolivetree123 ), Fuan Abbysnor ( @fumikomiyasaki ) Artemisia - Rook Flécher - Riddle. He always tries to stop him from having fun dancing while at work >:( so now whenever he sees Riddle he's made it his personal mission to annoy him. 'Off With Your Head' does nothing to Flécher bc he's magicless anyway so he considers it something he can live with.

💢 - Person they can't stand Tomoe - Crowley (not for her own sake, she's independent enough to manage herself, but how well she can take care of Irina and Grim directly depends on him) Irina - Ace (he's just so mean, and she's incredibly sensitive to that sort of thing bc she believes if someone is treating her badly, it must be bc she did something to deserve it) Spike - N/A (UNLESS he finds out what happened in Book 4. Then it'd be Jamil, for betraying Kalim. Spike would have trouble even being in the same room as jamil and their friendship would be instantly over) Junia - Vil (reminds her of her mother) Lisle - Leona, Idia (former) Veronica - Leona (they're in very similar positions, but Leona has just decided to, in Veronica's eyes, 'give up', instead of fighting against other people's perception of him) Victor - Kalim (Victor's happy-go-lucky thing is 100% a facade, made entirely out of whole cloth. And Kalim never understands Victor subtly insulting him) Artemisia - Rook (she wants him to stop stalking her so badly) Flécher - Anyone who litters

⚰️ - Someone they lost (not necessarily dead) Tomoe - Her entire family Irina - Her childhood friend Spike - His gran, Oscar, all his friends Junia - her mother Lisle - N/A Veronica - Victor Victor - Veronica Artemisia - Older sister Cerise Flécher - His mom? Although he doesn't remember her

🩹 - Someone who was a source of trauma Tomoe - Whoever sent her to twisted Wonderland? She didn't have any notable trauma before being separated from her family through coming to Twisted Wonderland. Irina - Her parents. They MESSED HER UP. Spike - The former friend who betrayed their gang Junia - Her mother Lisle - His cousin Briallen Veronica - Her father leaving her alone at her school Victor - His 'adoptive' (surprise adoption, that is) 'father' (now dead at the bottom of a cliff in some mountains— probably already eaten by mountain lions or something). He was verbally and physically abusive to Victor and put him through a lot of traumatic, invasive medical procedures that basically turned him into a magitech cyborg. Artemisia - basically everyone around her growing up (with the exceptions of her sister Cerise and brother Valerian), they all treated her like a freak or monster Flécher - A cat scratched him in the face once when he was a toddler and now he's afraid of them. Grim 'gives him the heebie-jeebies'

🗑️ - "It's complicated" Tomoe - Whether she'd choose to go home or stay in Twisted Wonderland Irina - Her opinions of her parents Spike - His relationship with his 'dad' Junia - What she thinks are her actual good qualities Lisle - His opinions of his parents Veronica - Her relationship with her father Victor - How many lives he's taken (both human and animal) Artemisia - Her upbringing in general Flécher - His future plans

©️ - Bonus: Canon NPC important to them Tomoe - Grim (basically her son. Him being taken away in Book 6 is the catalyst for Tomoe finally making up her mind that she's staying in Twisted Wonderland Irina - Malleus (Her Favorite Person, and the first person to ever return all her love in full) Spike - Leona (his first and closest friend at NRC) Junia - Azul (Junia feels she owes him a life debt for saving her, she's eternally grateful) Lisle - Cater (his first true friend- the first person who saw his true colors) Veronica - Vil (she looks up to and admires him a lot) Victor - Jack (absolutely the healthiest thing Victor's ever had in his life) Artemisia - Lilia (Lilia is 0.1 seconds away from literally going 'my child now') Flécher - Sam (basically manages him at work, and has actually taught him lots of good life lessons)

AND I'M DONE [ collapses ]

Tag list: @another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade

@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad

PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED IN FUTURE STUFF!

[whoblewboobear]

Hiiii!!! 📓

Hellooo hiii~ and OUGHHH Thank u 🥰 

So I pretty much rapid fire throw all my lil fic blurbs that I’ll probably never write on here but one of them that hasn’t entirely gotten its own spotlight is Porter’s backstory/character study. It’s mainly in bits and pieces but I’ve thought about it ALOT. I’ve rattled man around my brain for so long to figure out WHY he’s like that. Sooo I’m gonna scream about what I think his deal is for a lil bit~ A lot a bit actually lmao so it’s going under a read more 🤧✌️

~ The minute Porter was born his parents chose war over him. Handed him off to his grandparents the moment they’d both be able to go straight back into battle to defend the sunstone clan. He was left with his Paternal grandparents where they pretty much raised him like a soldier. He was homeschooled and along side his regular lessons like Common and Math, a lot of history lessons came from his grandfather who was a big war guy. He loaded Porter up on so many texts about wars that have passed, tactics each army used, etc. This is where Porter’s love for history comes in. 

He also learned cooking from his grandma and a little bit of sewing because she believed martial classes should always have their own form of mending in their back pocket. “There wont always be a caster around to do the small stuff.” Porter disagrees heavily in present day. He can sew and it’s a skill he kept up with but he almost exclusively dates casters that don’t mind using a quick mending on some of his things. 

(Jace sees this, realizes this, and then punches Porter so hard in the arm when he finds him sewing a pair of his pants bc “you ask me to mend your clothes all the time! You can sew?!” Jace doesn’t mind but he does give Porter shit about it from now on. But enough about Jace. For once this ain’t about him 😗✌️) 

Porter was definitely way closer to his grandma. She taught him everything she knew about divinity. Very very devout woman. She 100% believed in Ankarna as a goddess of Justice because she thought what the clan was doing WAS justice. With Porter’s grandfather, he makes it very clear during sparring and fighting practice that their goddess is weak and needs to be changed for the better and that Porter could be the one to do it. He has that drilled into him from such an early age too. Like imagine little 12 year old Porter being told “you’ll be the next champion, you will take back what we deserve.” It’s a lot of pressure. The war ended some years ago, but his parents died for this cause. He owes it to them to at least try. 

His clan is mostly in hiding. Somewhere high up in the mountains of chaos. I like to imagine that it’s the Cliffbreakers and a few other giantkin that found a home there. It’s prominent enough but secluded enough that adventurers pass through every now and then to trade or get in a long rest for the night. Porter loves sneaking out and watching them. He’s never seen so many different kinds of interesting and well traveled people before. By the time he’s 16 he’s a little tired of his training. There hasn’t been a war in quite sometime. Adventuring is where the battle is. 

One night the rogue of a visiting party has spied him watching the last few nights and offers for Porter to join. So he does and he likes the conversation and their stories. Their bard sing folk songs that are so new and different from the ones his grandmother used to sing him to sleep with. This is new and exciting and when the party offers for him to join he jumps at the chance. He leaves a letter, steals his dad’s old war hammer, and heads off with them just as dawn is breaking. 

He stays with that party into his late teens. He’s maybe 19 by the time the party raises concerns with their cleric’s closeness to Porter. Truly a fucking scumbag that was pursuing him when they definitely shouldn’t have been. Porter doesn’t see the issue, he’s confused why everyone is fighting about it or why the first person he’s ever been interested in, maybe even loved is being ousted from the group. They sit him down and explain the nuance but he’s a little too young and a little too angry to understand. So he leaves. 

Porter cycles through about 6 other adventuring parties, being messy the entire time too bc he absolutely does date at least one person from every new party he joins. He doesn’t mean to it just sorta happens 🤭 he’s partial to mages. He’s so fascinated by the concept of magic. Sure he’s still in touch with his faith and the little magic he can do because of it is nice but it’s not raw unadulterated power. 

By the time he’s maybe 36 he’s with a been with a sorcerer woman for about 3 years, he’s happy. He loves her, they had a small wedding when they stopped in a quaint and homey woodland town. She helps a lot with his temper when the rage is a little too much. One day she comes to him and says it might be time for them to stop adventuring. He’s confused until she places her hand on her stomach and says they’re having a baby. He’s scared but overjoyed. He loves kids. He used to babysit here and there with his grandma back home. So they do it. They break off from the party and settle in a town not too farm from Elmville.

Porter takes small quests here and there to keep them afloat. It’s not much and it’s not particularly interesting but he’s happy at home. Until he isn’t. After his wife has their baby girl, they’re constantly fighting. Fighting to the point of hurting each other. It isn’t pretty and they try to keep it from their little girl but god the older she gets the more she notices and that’s when Porter and his wife sit down and discuss separating. She tells him he can get settled before they discuss co-parenting and he agrees. He moves to Elmville, finds that the big adventuring high school in town is looking for a barbarian teacher. He feels qualified enough. Maybe it’s the arrogance and the ego talking but he feels like he can do it. So he applies and honestly, it’s such a weird interview. It’s so bizarre. Arthur is so strange but he hires Porter on the spot. With his teaching money he can finally afford an apartment. About a month or so of him getting settled his ex wife calls and says a letter from his grandmother came to the house. Porter made trips back to the mountains every few years but it became a lot less after his grandfather died. It was all a little too difficult for him to be back there. 

When he gets the letter, it’s from the doctor that lives in his childhood community saying that Porter’s grandmother is sick. Not on deaths door sick but sick enough that she needs someone to look after her. It’s not even a question in his mind to move her in with him. He takes care of her and he works, and eventually he starts co-parenting. His life is alright.

Sometime around late freshman year or the summer after his grandmother takes a turn for the worst and passes. It’s a bit much and it’s not fair and his heart hurts so fucking much. And somewhere in his grief he hatches a plan. To become a god and fulfill his role as champion long enough to kill god and take her place. He’ll burn the world to the ground if he has to. To make his family and his ancestors proud.

[advocatingpeanut]

My mom and I have been binge watching Lost this summer and we're rushing through the last season before I go back to school.

Is it just me or does EVERY main character have such tragic backstories?

Jack: Drunk dad he had no closure with until Sawyer finally said something. A mother who defended said father. And a wife who left him. Not to mention he has a step-sister he doesn't even know about until later in the show.

Kate: Kills her stepfather for being abusive, learns her dad isn't actually her biological father, gets harassed by police, has a series of toxic relationships.

Sawyer: Is traumatized as a child and orphaned. When he seeks revenge, he kills the wrong man, and as such, feels guilty for it. Has a series of toxic relationships.

Hurley: Is in a mental institution, learns he has hallucinations and thinks himself crazy, is self-conscious about his weight and binge eats, has an absent father who suddenly shows up when Hurley wins the lottery, has bad luck because of the numbers.

Sayid: Is forced to torture people at a young and impressionable age, loses his first love and searches for her to no avail and in doing so is blackmailed by the FBI into convincing his college roommate into becoming a suicide bomber, watches said friend kill himself

Locke: Was born premature and very sick as a baby, his teenage mother didn't want him and his grandmother didn't give it a second thought when giving him up for adoption, is told he isn't special, is told throughout his life what he can't do, Anthony Cooper blackmails him into giving up one of his kidneys and then tries to kill him, his one romantic relationship ends as a result of Anthony Cooper's involvement, is paralyzed for four years

Claire: Has a tense relationship with both her mother and her aunt, her baby's father gets her hopes up then leaves her, has a psychic give her all sorts of conflicting information, feels guilty for considering giving her baby up for adoption, survives a plane crash while heavily pregnant

Charlie: Tries to help his brother get clean, tries to keep himself on the straight and narrow and in doing so becomes an addict himself, watches his brother get better as he gets worse, his band fails to sustain its success

Jin: Grows up poor and is harassed for being part of a lower class, falls in love with a woman in a higher class and is forced to do her father's dirty work to marry her, becomes aggressive and withdrawn until well after the plane crashes

Sun: Forced to be under her father's rule and falls in love with a man in a lower class, is blackmailed for a large sum of money by Jin's mother - a prostitute, has an affair with a man who loves someone else and feels guilty for it

Ben: His mother dies shortly after childbirth and his father becomes a drunk and blames him for it, is groomed from a young age by the Hostiles and gives the go-ahead for them to kill the Dharma Initiative, becomes their leader and must be ruthless.

Juliet: Is a divorcee, her ex-husband is her boss and flaunts his sexual escapades in front of her, her sister has cancer and Juliet cannot watch her be cured nor see her nephew grow up save for a glimpse of a black and white recording that lasted a few seconds, Ben controls her and does not let her leave the island.

Michael: Him and his girlfriend have a son, whom Michael loves very much and is committed to taking care of. Said girlfriend takes a job in another country and only tells Michael after she has accepted the offer. In the same conversation, breaks up with him and informs she will be romantically involved with her new boss and they will raise Walt. When Michael tries to travel to see Walt, he is injured and cannot leave. His ex-girlfriend visits, says she is marrying her boss, wants Michael to give up parental rights. A long, drawn-out custody battle ensues, Michael is eventually convinced by ex to sign away rights so her new husband can adopt him. Says goodbye to son that doesn't even remember him. Writes letters and draws pictures over the course of several years that his mother keeps from him. When Walt is 9 or so, his adoptive father comes to see Michael, tells him ex died, he never wanted to be a dad in the first place and only adopted Walt to appease ex. Gives custody to Michael. He tries to raise his son that doesn't even know him and amazingly after all that, doesn't paint ex or adoptive dad to be bad guys and doesn't turn Walt against them.

Desmond: Tries to find his purpose, gets fired from being a monk. His girlfriend's dad constantly undermines him, tells it to his face, actively tries to keep his daughter away from him. Goes on an around the world trip her dad is hosting to prove to him his worth and gets stuck on the island for four years. His one companion he accidentally kills and his life becomes pushing the button every 108 minutes.

Rose: Has cancer, falls in love with Bernard and he takes her to healers. Nothing works. She believes she is dying.

Boone: Is in love with his step-sister and is constantly manipulated and played by her and her many romantic interests.

Shannon: Is smart but plays the dumb, helpless, pretty blonde role. Manipulated her step-brother for money but probably feels guilty for it, especially when she has a moment of clarity about what type of situation she's in and wants to get out. Is accepted into a prestigious program all of her own hard work and asks her step-mother for money to attend it. Her step-mother says she is the sole beneficiary of her father's money, disowns Shannon and keeps said money.

Ana-Lucia: Is constantly trying to impress her mother, is shot while pregnant and loses the baby. When she tries to return to work before she is ready, she gets an earful from her mother for it. Kills the man that shot her, taking revenge and justice in her own hands and not the law's. Gets reprimanded for it. Is hired as a bodyguard for Jack and Claire's dad and is constantly confused about what they're doing. Shares a drink with Jack and is flirtatious. It never goes past that.

[symphonic-scream]

Anyways since I'm writing an au for once I think it's the perfect time to post about another

Persona 4 Magic au

So those of you who follow me or recognize me (hi!! Welcome back!!) Well you might say "Scream"- that's me, -"you have a Persona 5 Magic au, is this the same universe?" And my answer is

Uh. Sure. It can be I guess

Anyways let's talk about shit

Yu Narukami is a witch. His parents were both magic users, but had outer sources of magic. As a witch, Yu can cast spells and shit with the magic within him. His parents are going abroad for a year and send him to live with his uncle in Inaba, with a catch

His uncle knows nothing about magic, so Yu had to pretend to be a normal human for the whole year

He's never had to hide his magic before, so it'll be a real challenge for him. But, he's willing to try

...yeah it doesn't go well

When he shows up, he can already feel magic within the town. There are magical beings present and almost immediately, someone turns up dead in a mysterious fashion. No one else can see the gills on the woman's neck but him, or so he believes

Yu becomes fast friends with a few kids in his class that really stink of barely-hidden magic.

Yosuke Hanamura, with his prominent canines and his suspiciously homemade juice boxes

Chie Satonaka, with her boundless energy, knowledge of the moon, and her love of meat

And Yukiko Amagi, who stares so oddly. He doesn't have much evidence for her yet, but he will

Then, a third year turns up dead. Yu sees the little horns on her head when he sees her on TV the night before. Another magic person is dead.

Then, Yukiko goes missing, and everything gets started

Okay that's it for me talking like that I'll lay out what the plot is and what everyone is and shit

So basically. Adachi is a seer, a human who can tell when someone's magic, and he finds out that the entrance to Mirror Inaba is in the TV. Plus, every monster he tossed in, died. So he sets up a plot to get monsters kidnapped and shit cause "they're subhuman anyways, I should be allowed to have fun with them"

Yu Narukami is a witch, as I said

Yosuke Hanamura is a vampire! He was a born vampire, but his mom is human so. His traits are real watered down. He's fine in the sun and can eat small amounts of garlic, but he still drinks blood

Chie Satonaka is a werewolf! There's a small werewolf pack that's been in Inaba for generations, and she's a member. Born a werewolf, she's really connected with her animal self, and is in control during full moons

Yukiko Amagi is a Fox Selkie, but her coat is an abnormal colour due to the fact that her grandfather was a Kitsune. As a fox she's mostly dark red with a white belly, eyebrows, and tail tip, but her paws are black, as are the tips of her ears. She can make vague illusions, and her coat stays locked with her mother's at the inn

Kanji Tatsumi is half Oni. His mom is human, but his dad? Full Oni. He has an older brother that lives with his dad, since both of them can't hide their demonic traits. Kanji looked human enough as a kid, but he's just started sprouting his horns and his teeth are a little larger. Plus, he's real tall and big

Rise Kujikawa is a daughter of Hathor, the Egyptian goddess of Love, beauty, music, dancing, pleasure- you get the gist. Her mother is her birth parent cause I said so. Her grandmother is a potions master, and Rise has decided to learn the craft as well

Naoto Shirogane is the youngest of the Shirogane Animal Shifters. The bloodline has been watered down over the years, to the point where the only animal form Naoto can take is a snow leopard. His markings are closer to blue shades than whites and blacks, and there's a little butterfly spot right on his chest

And Teddie is from Mirror Inaba. He is the only conscious being there, and grants protection to the team when they go to save people. He's not sure what he is, but he looks like a bear. Maybe.

Anyways yeah. Monster crew. Please ask me about this I'm proud of it

[buttacake80]

My grandmother was born in 1912 or 1913 (birth records vary) outside of Allentown, Georgia, outside of Dublin. All of her grandparents were formerly enslaved [born between 1840-1850]. One of her great-grandmothers was alive for the first 10 years of her life [born about 1820]. This great-grandmother was Gullah-Geechee.

When she was about 7, she survived the Red Summer of 1919.

This was her maternal cousin:

This involved a paternal cousin:

Somewhere in my files, I have a death certificate of another cousin who was lynched. He was leaving church with his family; the cause of death was listed as an "accidental" shooting. But I seem to recall he was shot 13x.

Anyway, she was the second eldest of 13 children, but her eldest sister died young, so she was the eldest sibling. By the time she was in her teens, she was working as a nanny for white families.

She was put on a bus and sent north to Illinois, where she had a great aunt. This great aunt was the child of the Gullah-Geechee and practiced rootwork.

In her late teens, she became pregnant by the man of the house. The wife's family took exception. I think they beat him, but I know they gave my grandmother 24 hours to leave town or she was dead.

[Ya see...the man had been an active member of the KKK and it didn't look good on him to have a biracial baby with a Black teenager. That baby had to go!]

She was a well-known abortionist.

She knew the right herbs to give a woman if the pregnancy was early enough otherwise, she would use a coat hanger, hot water, and a lot of prayer.

She performed an abortion on my grandmother. A few years later, my grandmother marries and starts a family with a military man. He returns from WWII completely broken. We now call it PTSD but he was simply viewed as a coward.

He abandoned her and their 4 kids.

She's always been an attractive woman. And men have always been eager to take care of her, so she carries on with married men, usually white. Has a couple of kids outta wedlock (tried and failed at aborting].

Marries a white man in 1968. Soon after the Loving decision.

This man we call "Mister".

Mister wasn't a nice man. He's tolerated her family. This man is my grandfather, but we could never, ever call him that. Wouldn't really want to.

He developed Alzheimer's when I was in my teens. There was a time when I didn't know which Mister I would encounter.

He sat on a porch swing. In order to enter her house, you had to walk past his swing.

Some days he would storm violently out of the swing. "If it ain't raining niggers and tar-babies" or "here comes the porch monkeys".

Other days, he was disgustingly flirtatious. He would adjust his clothes and smooth back his hair before introducing himself. Making sexual comments about my 14-16 year old body. Sometimes, he would reach for me, but a swat of the hand could knock him over.

Days after his funeral, my aunt goes through an old chest that Mister kept tucked back in his closet. Inside were several postcards from lynchings with his handwriting, noting the date. Buttons and other items that were assumed to be momentos from lynchings he attended.

I didn't understand that duality at the time.

Mister was buried in a known sundown town. It is still a sundown town to this day. In fact, a few Memorial Days ago, my mother was chased from that town after she had visited Mister's grave. Like two pickup trucks full of young white boys chasing a 70+ Black woman through the country roads of Illinois.

In 2021!

Both of my parents are from the Jim Crow Era and thought the period of outward violence was behind them. They sat in the Coloreds Only section or drank from the Coloreds Only water fountain.

My dad was a child in the early 60s when distant relatives were evicted from their farms outside of Memphis. Why? They had registered to vote, so their white landlord evicted them. My dad recalls other Black families who owned their land were also evicted, and he remembers the fire that destroyed those records.

My dad was 15 when MLK, Jr. was invited to Memphis for the Sanitation Workers strike. He remembers the moment he learned King had been murdered in his city. He remembers the riots.

My parents were alive for the signing of the Civil Rights Act.

It saddens me to think that within their lifetime, they saw such slow progression only for it to be unraveled so swiftly.

My grandmother lived to be 102 or 103 (dying 3 months shy of her next birthday). She lived until 2016, so she was alive to vote for our first (and only) Black president, and I distinctly recall her disbelief that white folk would not only vote for a Black man, but that they would let that Black man live.

Providing all of that context, I am not surprised that I have been thinking about her A LOT these past couple of weeks.

First, I think about her great-aunt, the abortionist, and how dangerous abortions were prior to Roe v. Wade. That hanger could puncture organs, leading to massive blood loss. Many women risked death rather than carry a child that was born of rape, incest, or were just plain outside of the woman's plans.

I think about my grandmother, who often said that it had not been a consensual encounter that led to her pregnancy. White folks threatened to kill her because she got pregnant, then she risked death to terminate that pregnancy, so she could find a normal life.

I think about the women, post Roe, who faced similar situations but were granted a safe abortion. Even if Trump implements a nationwide abortion ban, women will still seek abortions. We have only forced them to seek out those coathangers again.

Second, I think about the summer-long race massacre she survived. When I was a senior in college, I had to do a family research project which triggered my genealogy journey.

I interviewed and recorded my grandmother, asking for her earliest memory. She always said her first memory was standing on a train platform, waving goodbye to one of her uncles as he went off to fight in World War I.

Her second involved another family member. According to her, a lynch mob sought to kill him because he had voted. I don't recall if it was the same relative from her first memory, but this relative was also a veteran.

He had returned from Europe after wearing the uniform and thought he should be allowed to vote! A clever man, he dressed up as the janitor, then mopped his way to the voting area. I know he got the ballot. I can't remember if he was able to actually drop it in the box before they realized what he was doing. They chased him from the courthouse. He ran to his mother's home. The family intended to hide him through the night but once they heard the bloodhounds, they knew they weren't letting it go. So he rapidly packed his belongings, kissed his mother goodbye, then fled into the woods. He survived by hiding in either a dead animal or a decaying tree. Whatever it was, it was dead, so the scent covered his. Once he was safe in another state, he wrote his mother to let her know he was safe.

I imagine living in such a time period when white people could be so fickle with human life. A time when a white woman could lie and get Black folk killed. I know there are violent people who commit violent acts, but I am talking about a period when an entire people could and DID commit murder and got away with it.

Although I haven't given up on this country, I have given up on white people ever learning from history or their mistakes.

In fact, they have taken active steps to suppress that history. To ignore those who lived through it until they die, then totally rewrite history. It's what white people do.

A huge portion of them relish violence. So many are seeking an opportunity to terrorize Black folk just like their ancestors did.

They don't want us to vote.

They don't want us to own property.

They don't want us to obtain college educations.

They don't want us to fully realize the American dream; they have taken hostile steps to ensure just that.

You got the MAGA who are so totally uneducated and resentful of the fact that their whiteness doesn't hold as much capital as it once did. You got the greedy white folk who are never satisfied with their wealth, who build up their esteem by stripping others of theirs, then fill their hollow souls with designer brands. You got the religious hypocrites who rejoice in human misery and have openly labeled Jesus Christ as being "too woke". Then, you got the other white folk who are too "uncomfortable" to confront those OTHER white folk despite knowing they are wrong.

I know there are *good* white individuals but, as a people, y'all are fucking lacking as human beings.

[jellywrite]

Preserves

I love strawberries. My mother ate a large bowl of strawberries the night I was born. She wasn’t aware that her baby girl was about to come into the world and immediately try to leave it. She couldn’t have ever known how much I would love strawberries as I grew, nor would she have foreseen any parallels to me being choked by the cord that was meant to give me life. She wouldn’t have seen the shame and anxiety that, over the years, she poured into my mouth like the blood of Christ. Wouldn’t have known it would claw its way back up my throat, choking me, because her tinted glasses are not just rose, they’re stained glass.

My dad loves strawberries, too. He always gives me the best ones. He is the one who caught me that night. He and two nurses brought me into this world, small and purple and struggling to breathe. He never would have forgiven me for dying, after all the trouble he went to. He never would have forgiven me if I had gone, not that night when he and two nurses caught me, but 8 years ago, when the thing that was choking me wasn’t flesh and blood, it just oddly took the shape of a knife in my hand. He couldn’t have forgiven my weakness, the way he might have the night I was born.

I want to be more aware than my mother

And more forgiving than my father

My grandfather was a fan of cherries. He would take my mom cherry picking every summer, and I gotta tell you, through that hazy summer air, they almost looked like a real, happy, healthy family. But he accused my grandmother of poisoning his cherry bounce one too many times, and she had just enough left in her to finish making a cherry pie for seven, even though it could never possibly contain all the “I love yous” that my mom needed to hear. She dragged all those kids to church, searing stained glass into their eyes. She sat in the pews and knitted my mom a beautiful shawl that never quite kept her shoulders warm, and when my mom tried to wrap me in it too? All her fears of poison and pie made us both shiver.

I want to be kinder than my grandfather

And more present than my grandmother

My great-grandfather passed me his love for peaches. He passed me his love of music too, his jovial nature, and a ticking time bomb in his chest that makes my whole family avoid salt, fat, and all the sweetness of sugar. He died before my grandfather knew him, and my great-grandmother…she didn’t know how to get rid of all the sticky stains he left, because one was shaped like a small boy, and another, a little girl. She shut them in the pantry with all the other cans and preserves, and left them there for two days. My grandfather never craved peaches more, and he never got them in that house again.

I want to be healthier than my great-grandfather

And more loving than my great-grandmother

I carry the weight of you all on my shoulders. I right your wrongs, achieve your dreams; I am sabotaged by the dirt you wipe from your brow and lovingly throw into my eyes.

I am you.

The best parts of you. The parts that somehow blossomed on the fruit tree in our yard, that somehow survived all that time, and curled skyward. The parts that you tried to nurture better than the ones before, that I tend to with compassion for you and acceptance of myself. But nothing lives forever. The preserves ran out, and I will not be survived. The seed was sewn, the fruit was harvested, but the roots were choked, and not a single bit of verdancy fell into my hands, just the browned leaves of something almost dead.

So whether you like it or not, what was planted so long before you will end with me.

[hole34]

“pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is a sham.

nearly 80% of all owned american wealth is generational. prices rise while the working class’ salaries are cut, and you can’t make any profit if you’re not at the top, which you can’t do without radical exploitation of others.

I was born into a middle class life. my mom went though a lot of different jobs, most that she really liked, and we lived with my grandmother who was still working at the time. My dad was around a lot, he hadn’t become a fucking nazi yet, he had a good job and was supportive.

It slowly went downhill from there.

As my dad was treading down the conservative-to-nazi pipeline and become more paranoid, less supportive, my mom wasn’t always making enough money because her jobs became unnecessary to newer society and it was harder to find sustainable jobs, and my grandmother had to quit working because she started developing dementia. my mom worked at a UPS factory for some time before quitting because of the unworkable conditions and treatment, and her last option at that point in time was to work at the Amazon factory. she worked 7-9, one of my friends’ parents took care of me mosts nights. my mom was constantly overworked, often injured, and paid barely enough to keep us living. when covid-19 hit she was one of the first to get laid off, so all of our income came from my half-assing dad and the bare minimum from the government.

i starting developing depression around this time but we couldn’t afford or access actual mental health care, so my mom treated me with CBD oil and pot (which was still illegal in our state) she got from the only friend that continued to support our family. more and more.

i don’t remember most of 2021, it was all a blur but the one thing that will always replay in my mind is the day in november of 2021 when my mom kneeled down to me, looked me in the eyes and said

“lila, we don’t have enough money to live right now.”

i could tell things were getting weirder as time went on, but it was at this moment i realised nothing would ever be the same again. i broke down crying knowing the last years of my life at home would be spent struggling, unsupported and alone.

all the years since my mom and i have been living off of whatever money my mom can vet my father to give us, but it’s almost always a fight and almost always a no, he’s lost care for our wellbeing, and any other money has come from stuff my mom tries to sell to pawn shops. we’re on food stamps now, as fucking hard as they were to get, and we don’t really go anywhere anymore because we can’t afford it; at first it wad covid, then financially, than our home life.

my grandmother’s dementia got far worse, my mom (and myself to a lesser degree) has to take care of her full-time now, but she doesn’t get any government support for it because she obtaine power of attorney over my grama so we can still live in our house. my grandmother now is in post-awareness dementia which mentally and physically deprecating for my mom, a single mother with BPD, to take care of and it’s hell just to be in this house. fuck if you thought this was all though!

my mom was a child of 8, and she was the only one who took care of both her father, who died from ALS before my lifetime, and her crappy mother, so she still lived in her mother’s home and raised me in it. in her parents’ will however, it’s said once they both die the house will be sold and a portion of the money will be distributed to all 8 kids. that’s not enough money for my mom to live off of.

SO, my mom talked to her siblings in May of 2022 and discussed our living situation, asking for legal right to the house once their mother is gone because she’ll have no where else to live and she’s been the unpaid caretaker of both of her disabled parents since they day they needed care. but, her siblings, all of which have sustainable lives, homes and jobs, said no because they don’t care about my mom or grandma, just the shitty money they’ll inherit. there was no way of knowing when my grandma was going to pass and we wouldn’t be able to move either (my dad wouldn’t financially support it), so my mom filed a civil lawsuit on all of her siblings.

exactly two years later and we’re still in the lawsuit. nothing has changed.

aside from all the mental torture and stress the lawsuit has caused - my mom has PTSD from being abused and r*ped by the brother that’s head of the apposing side - nothing has gotten better no matter how much ANY of us do. i work now, for barely anything, and we’ve gotten a little bit more bottom-of-the-barrel government support, but it still manages to get worse. no familial support, barely any from my dad, whom of which has become mildly abusive, but can’t risk to cut ties with or else we will have absolutely no one. my mom’s sold everything valuable she had, she’s even begged for money. we don’t always have heating, we don’t always have electricity, we don’t always have food, and god fucking forbid any day we come across the police. i get by stealing energy drinks and period products, dirt money when i can, and just trying to keep my mom going and not killing herself

we can’t fucking pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, we’re already treated as barely human now being in the low class.

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Meet my OC from Star-crossed :

*drumroll*

Nina Cerasus

Pic from artbreeder

Pronunciation of her name : Nee-nuh

Family stuff:

22 standard years old born in Naboo (in Heavenbound fic she is 32)

she has a rare heart disease HCM

when her mom got sick her dad left them

her mom died when she was 7 years old

she was raised by her grandmother

she goes to law school

her best friend is Polina who is a vampire

and Anfisa a who is a fae

Appearance:

female

pale skin (comes from her disease)

160 cm, 5'2 feet

skinny but fit and flexible (side effect of her meds and pilates classes)

her cheeks looks blushed (side effect from her meds)

she has freckles

she has diastema (visible gap between her two front upper teeth)

she wears glasses at home and contact lenses when she goes out

she has brunette straight hair, mid length and with curtain bangs, she wears it in different up dos and braids like Nabooan women and likes to clip pearls and star clips in the locks

her hands are always cold (comes from the meds from her disease)

she smells like cherries, almond and mint tea (inspired by tom ford's lost cherry perfume)

she has tattoos: one is on her spine shows different phases of the moon, also it glows in the dark, several ones on her fingers she has tiny dainty stars and constellations, and on the inner side of her hip is a loth wolf in a tribal style art, and a quote on her bacl ankles "Ad astra, per aspera."

her style includes gem colored light fabric dresses, mostly pant suits with cut outs

she has a bracelet a red string with a star shaped lucky charm (gift from her gran for protection)

she has a pair of jade droplet earrings, and an enchanted red amber pendant (both gifts from Maul)

she likes sparkly make up and nailpolish

she has a raspy seductive voice (inspired by sofia bush's voice)

Personality:

she is rather introvert and close to herself

likes to argue, good at keeping information to herself (she is to be a lawyer duh)

she has trust issues, and abandonment issues

says that she doesn't believe in love or relationships but secretly hopeless romantic

only dates but never in a relationship till she meets Maul and later Wolffe in my Heavenboun fic

doesn't like jedi or any Force user, she thinks they are snobs and dogmatics, but later she'll like Master Plo and his wolf pack

she isvery inteligent speaks in several languages

she enjoys art, music, dancing and reading

she is a bit of a nerd when it comes to astronomy (not the horoscope one)

she is currious and patient (especially with Maul)

she looks down on men, she thinks they all liars, and cheaters, and only good to manipulate/to be an acessory/ to please her in bed till she founds love

she will do everything to her friends and loved ones

she has a soft spot for Anfisa (my other OC)

hard to open up but actually super sweet

maybe a bit impulsive, but at same time she has a 5 year plan already

they call her the "ice queen" because her specialty is freezing out people and always looks calm and collected but under the hard shell she panic a lot

Other:

she is a party girl but only because she loves dancing

her hobby is star gazing and her dream job is to be a star cartographer

she never left Naboo before, but dreams to travel the galaxy and make star maps in Star-Crossed fic, in Heavenbound she leaves in Couruscant

she is allergic to tooka cat fur

she can't drive a ship

pretty good in self defense and shooting (both comes from Polina's idea to join self defense classes)

she collects celestial themed jewelry

she is terrible at cooking

to quit smoking she learnt how to tie a knot with her tounge from a cherry stem, so she always carry some cherries with her

AN: So that's all I could collect in this moment. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. Other character deep dive list and mood boards are in plans so I hope you'll like her as much as I do.

I plan to make one about what characters and persons inspired her personality, looks and name (no it not comes from mine even though it's similar to my nickname)

💖

Nika

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

[gayscifi]

Thoughts on My Own Jewishness and the Palestinian Genocide

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸

(very long post)

My name is Tal, it's a Hebrew name meaning morning dew. I'm transgender and picked my name over 10 years ago because I am proud of being Jewish and wanted an obviously Jewish name. I'm 27, poor, disabled and a transgender man in a gay relationship with a cis Muslim man. I want you to have all of that context before I tell you how I feel about the current genocide of the Palestinians, the State of Isreal and my relationship to these things as a Jew.

I didn't know I was Jewish until my grandmother died when I was 12. After she died my brothers, cousins and I were put in charge of sorting through her things. We found her menorah, shabbat candle holders and kosher dishes. We were young and frankly uneducated, it was years of my eldest brother and others putting the pieces together and finding records of our family when we began to understand who we were.

Our great grandparents, on both my grandfather and grandmother's side were smuggled into America from Germany and Poland through the Houston port by a Rabbi near the beginning of WW2, the port that I've lived next to for most of my life. My grandparents were born in the Houston area and were, as I understand it "Catholic outside and Jewish at home". My grandfather's father returned to Poland after the Holocaust to try and find members of his family, he killed himself with a shogun through the head shortly after returning to the U.S, when my grandfather was still a teenager.

My grandmother had almost a dozen siblings, most of her sisters died in mental institutions and several of her brothers had killed themselves or died of overdose, my grandfather also had a dozen siblings, they had similar fates. My grandparents were alcoholics and are now both dead.

My father and his 3 siblings grew up going to Catholic school not understanding the language his parents spoke to each other or why his family was so different from the others around him. Not until my grandmother died and all the secrets began to pour out.

By the time I was 14, everyone was starting to put the pieces together. My grandparents had bought a piece of land miles away from any town when I was a baby. They hoarded films, art, music, world history books, encyclopedias, several freezers full of food, pantries of non-perishables, more guns and ammo than I ever thought anyone could use and liquor they would knock back every day with cartons of cigarettes that made the house smell like a chimney. That was their way of coping, shut the world out, be ready for the next Holocaust. Of course all of this would lead my family to believe that we were Ashkenazi Jews.

My parents had gone on a trip to Turkey before I was born and fell in love with it. My entire life it was their dream to return and raise their family there but between my father being a plant worker and mechanic and my mother a substitute teacher. It wasn't until I was 17 that we finally moved, not because we had the money but because my mother needed to be the primary source of income since my father had begun suffering from cancer. Selling most of our belongings and my mom getting a job as an English teacher finally brought my family to Turkey. My dad got to spend some of his final years there before he died.

We moved to a port city on the Black Sea near the Georgian border named Trabzon. Strangely, I felt at home immediately. I had learned Turkish enough to go out, make friends and get a part time job within 6 months. My father and I didn't read as foreigners to the locals at all, in fact many elder people would come up to me speaking Lazca, the language of the Laz people, one of the many small Caucus tribes in the region, assuming I was Laz myself and could help translate for them to Turks in the city.

There were very few foreigners in the city and most of us knew each other since most of us taught at the foreign language schools. One of the teachers I was friends with was a boy, now a man, my same age, who was born and raised in a refugee camp in Jordan. His father, Palestinian and his mother, Cherkess(another Caucus tribe who had been displaced). He spoke 4 different languages and taught Arabic and English at the same school I worked at.

We became fast friends, being the youngest(only 18 at the time) at the school. Both his parents and mine were wary of our closeness but we genuinely didn't understand their issues with our friendship.

He told me about growing up in the camps in Jordan, he told me about being Palestinian and Cherkess and not being able to go to either of his homes. I told him about being Jewish and how my identity was kept secret for generations for the safety of my family.

He asked me what I thought about Isreal and to be honest this was my first time thinking of it, since I'd only been to a synagogue a handful of times and hadn't been subject to Zionist propaganda in American Jewish spaces. He told me about Zionism from a Palestinian perspective, how he had watched the news for years hearing about his cousins and other family members dying at the hands of the IDF.

I found it appalling, how could Jewish people, my people, be doing such atrocities to others after what I known we had been through. The Holocaust, the genocide of my people had left scars on every member of my family that had made most of them unable to continue living.

That conversation, just months into our years long friendship has shaped me into the person I am today. He gave me a Keffiyeh that night and I told him that I would never go to Palestine until we could go together. We cried for a long time that night, sharing stories.

After living in Turkey and learning more about the different Caucus tribes in the region my eldest brother and I determined the origin of our last name. A Turkic name, not German or Polish, meaning that my family was not entirely Ashkenazi but instead from the Black Sea Region, most likely the small Jewish Crimean tribe called Krymchak, the majority of the whom died in the Holocaust and I had been unknowingly living the closest to home that my family had in generations. In Turkey, on the Black Sea, not in Isreal.

I am proud of being Jewish. I love how I have found my identity and am part of the first generation of my family since the Holocaust to be authentic in my ethnicity. Zionism will never take that away from me. Zionism is a lie, an evil, manipulative, murderous political agenda. I have not and will never be a part of it and it will never take my Jewishness away from me.

I have found more in common with Palestinians I have met through protesting Isreal, more in common with ethnic minorities protesting U.S. imperialism, more in common with other displaced minorities than I have ever found with Isreal.

The genocide of the Palestinians is always on my mind but I feel no guilt as a Jewish person. I know I am not to blame nor have I ever been complicit in this genocide but to my fellow Jews, who are in pro-Zionist, pro-Isreali spaces, I am calling for a radical change in those communities, wake the fuck up.

Fuck Isreal, fuck Zionism, fuck American and European Imperialism and fuck antisemitism. I have a particular hatred for these so called "Pro-Jewish" actions happening in North America and Europe. German civilians knew of the death camps during the Holocaust and did nothing. Now their children and grandchildren are saying that Palestinians are anitsemites while they live on the wealth and land they extracted from dead Jews.

The rise of global antisemitism is in part because of the State of Isreal, because of Zionism, because of the atrocities committed by Jewish people, their twisted, evil and cruel treatment of Palestinians for years that has led to genocide. Supporting Palestinians in their struggle against annihilation is not and will never be antisemitism and to say it is shows how little you understand Jewish or Palestinian history.

Recognize Zionism for what it truly is; a way for powerful nations to rid themselves of their Jewish populations and use them as cannon fodder for control over land and resources in the Middle East. Joe Biden said it himself "If Israel didn't exist, we would have to invent it." This is not a war for a "safe home for the Jewish people", it is an ethnic cleansing of Palestinians to claim power and control.

Palestinians have every right to resist annihilation. My heart aches, knowing deeply what genocide does to those who remain.

I will continue to support the Palestinian cause in every way I know how.

From the River to the Sea,

Palestine will be Free 🇵🇸

[swampndn]

CW: child sexual assault, child abuse, alcoholism

Six years ago today, I finally found my maternal grandfather’s people. I've been thinking a lot about him recently and feeling that grief of all he lost. Then I got the Facebook memory reminder. So I wanna talk about him. Feels like I should.

His name was James, and he was stolen as a toddler and sold to a Mormon family in Utah. He never knew his tribe or where he came from, just that he was Native. When he escaped as a teen, he went to Oklahoma because that's where he knew the Natives were and thought it'd be his best chance. He ended up in Vietnam, survived the Navy, came back to Oklahoma, then met my maternal grandmother (a white woman), and quickly had my mother and uncle shortly after.

My mother's mother was an evil woman. She and her entire racist ass family are. They hated my grandfather because of who he was, so much so that they lied to the courts and said that he was a drunk to take away his kids. It worked. This all happened exactly 1 year before the Indian Child Welfare Act too. Before that, he never drank in his life, but after that loss, he started and, unfortunately, couldn't stop for nearly 15 years.

My mom was then raised and physically/sexually abused by her white family. They constantly told her and my uncle that they should be ashamed of being Native because of their father, and those people did everything they could to make them white. My mom's a deeply complicated person, especially being that she couldn't break the cycle of abuse with my siblings and I. But this post isn't about her. My uncle also experienced the physical abuse, and he developed a drug addiction when he was just 12yo to cope. My grandfather developed alcoholism during this separation period, and his health began to decline.

But! Good news! When my mom ran away from home at 16yo, my father's family took her in. My mom said that she was immediately drawn to my dad because he was Native, connected to his people, and came from an unapologetically Native home. So she finally found some kind of community, and also she was finally able to reconnect with her dad. (And also in the eventual marrying of my father, they ex-communicated my mom. I got a wild story from when I was about 8yo and the first and last time I met them, but that's for a different post for a different day.)

The day she got in contact with my grandfather after being forcibly no contact her entire upbringing was the day he stopped drinking cold turkey. She talks about how after that he was at every single school event and every holiday. My uncle finally got out of there too, and he also reconnected with my grandfather. My dad's family welcomed them both.

My uncle died at 18yo from the lingering effects of his addiction about a year before I was born. It was sudden and unexpected, especially since he, like my grandfather, had stopped using when he reunited with his dad. My mom talks about how involved and happy my uncle was with my sister as a baby. He was James, Jr., but went by Jimmy mainly.

My grandfather had also been heavily involved with us, and he had some kind of prophecy gift. He predicted the sex of all of my mom's kids just by touching her belly, and he knew a bunch of other things too. He used to take my sister and I fishing nearly every weekend, and he got me a Minnie Mouse fishing pole to use. He taught my sister how to ride a bike. I was still too little for a bike, but he got me a tricyle. One Christmas, he rented a helicopter after saving up all year and flew into a neighborhood park dressed like Santa. I do wish I could remember those things firsthand, but I've been told about them and seen lots of pictures.

Unfortunately, all of that was short-lived because he died the day after my sister's 5th birthday when I was only 3yo. We knew something was wrong because he wasn't at her party, and in all this time, he never missed a single event. Even though he never drank again, his prior alcoholism was so severe that he passed from cirrhosis of the liver. My mom was pregnant with my younger brother at the time, so he never got to meet him - but my grandfather did let my mom know he was a boy. (This was back when IHS refused to do ultrasounds. You know how it is.)

He died in 1996 never knowing who his people are. There were no clues. No one knew anything until March 29, 2018.

Finding his people was completely by chance. I went on a trip in March 2018 with a now ex-partner to the Mescalero Apache rez in New Mexico to see some of his extended family. We got there in the middle of the night, and the next morning (March 29th), I went outside to see the landscape. I'd never been to New Mexico before, so I was excited to see mountains and the desert. The moment I stepped outside of the motel and saw the land, I felt an overwhelming grief that I immediately burst into tears. The only way I could describe it was the feeling of a mother who was convinced her child was no longer alive for years and years, suddenly finding out that her baby survived. I will never forget what that felt like, and honestly, now it feels even more powerful than before. I can hardly even think about it writing this because tears are happening.

As soon as I was able to be coherent again after all that grief, my first thought was that this is where my grandfather was from. I knew it. I was fully convinced. The rest of that trip I kept looking at all these Apache faces in the tribal gas station, on the road, and just around and wondering if any of them were family. So many looked familiar, but I wasn't going to do or say anything until I got home and could try and find some of my grandfather's records. Hell, I didn't even tell my then-partner about it when it happened because I wanted to be sure. He even asked me why I was crying standing outside the motel door, and I just said that the land was so beautiful that I was moved. Fortunately for me (one of the many bad signs for him) is that he didn't ask any follow-up questions, so I was able to keep it to myself for the time being.

When I got back home, I got ahold of his birth certificate, and I called the Mescalero Apache records office. After a couple weeks, it was confirmed. He even had living family still. Getting that phone call was so emotional, and I still cry about the relief and also the anger that he died not knowing. I know his spirit is at peace now, and every time I've been to New Mexico since 2018, I feel such a comfort. The land told me on March 29, 2018, and today I'm just thinking about how grateful I am that she did.

As I have been thinking a lot about grief, land, healing, legacy, blood memory, the responsibilities of parenthood, and the next seven generations recently (mainly due to a project I've been working on this week), I don't think it's an accident that today was the anniversary of that event while I go into a performance tomorrow about just this very thing: the land grieving and healing and telling us why.

There's not too many pictures of him because he was the one usually taking pictures of us. But here's a candid I have from my toddler days (mid-blink lol).

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Sumdac Family Meeting Plus Chara & Alison (2024)

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[Note: you might need to click on the drawing to get a better view of it...

I plan to have this be a Cover for Chapter 14 of the Crossover story over at Quotev, the story is for Mature Audiences only so maybe like 18+ but not being fully mature in some parts but it is still for Mature Audience only...

not all of this drawing will 100% match the flashback/memory scene in the chapter where both Sari's Grandmother and True Father appear in.]

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro & Takara

Credit for Transformers Animated goes to Sam Register & Matt Youngberg

Credit for Undertale goes to Toby Fox

Credit for Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss goes to Vivienne “Vivziepop” Medrano

---------------

the human with the pink-gray hair, is Sari's Grandmother and the reason why her arms look like they could be techno-organic and her gloves, is because the idea is that she lost her original arms and one of her sons gave her replacements, and they ended up the way they are now and ended up becoming techno-organic.

the idea is that in her younger days, and even when Isaac and Ivaan were still young boys, her hair was red before it started to become pink-gray as she got older.

her name is Simone Sumdac, and yeah she is a OC, but I like the idea of Isaac having a cool Mom who is muscular and looks like she could probably kick Powell's Butt.

Simone would be much taller than her sons, Isaac and Ivaan.

I kind of want to go with the idea that Simone didn't marry into the name Sumdac, but instead was already a Sumdac and her husband either died at some point or they are divorced during some point before Megatron fell to Earth and was found by one of her sons.

plus it be interesting if she was Bad Apple Sugar Spice.

Powell of course is a Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg...

once again, this drawing doesn't match 100% with what I decided to write for Chapter 14, but how Sari appears in this is what she is suppose to look like in the Flashback/Memory, which I know it is a spoiler but it is one of her True Memories that was blocked from her thanks to Isaac Sumdac, who didn't want her to remember Ivaan Sumdac (his name is still pronounced "Ivan" it just has two "A" in there...) or Simone Sumdac after she had first met them and ended up living with them for a few years until she was taken back by Professor Isaac Sumdac back to Detroit.

so might end up having Professor Sumdac ended up going to Hell in that story, and not just for what he ends up doing to Sari, by blocking her memories about the events that would lead her to go live with Ivaan and Simone...

but also the other reason why he ends up going there, is because what he did to Megatron, when Megatron was still technically still alive but he still had a time limit on how long he and his body could be separated from each other before the time limit is up, just like Zim and his Pak from Invader Zim...but my fan theory is that Cybertronians get a 50 years/ Stellar-Cycles before the time limit is up.

even if it was to improve things, Isaac didn't really get Megatron's permission or even check to see if he was still online but like in a stasis coma...

plus Isaac would need to become a patron at the hotel, to redeem himself, not just for what he did to Sari's Other Dad/Carrier/Sire Megatron, but also what he put his family through, both his adoptive daughter/niece Sari, his twin brother Ivaan and even his own Mother, Simone.

and yeah in that story, Sari will turn out to be Isaac's niece...

because his DNA wasn't scanned when he touched the liquid metal protoform that was born in his secret lab, because he was wearing those gloves, and in the story the plot twist is that Ivaan didn't wear any gloves and when he found his brother out cold, he ends up touching the protoform without any gloves on and gets a shock as well, and it is his DNA that ends up getting absorbed instead.

making Ivaan the True Bio-Dad on Sari's Human Side, while Isaac is the Uncle.

since this scene has to do with a flashback/memory, Sari's eyes are still blue but later on they do become purple when she is a Adult.

I also should edit one of the chapters that has to do with Alice going by "Alison", maybe have it spelled differently from Alastor's Shadow who I started to call Alison because I couldn't help but like the idea of calling his Shadow by that name...

what was originally plan that has to do with Sari's secret parents, are slightly changed...and it was all plan by Isaac who wanted to keep her true heritage on his side of the family.

and yeah with the whole Isaac having a twin brother, I kind of wanted to go with the idea that Isaac is the "Stan Pines" and Ivaan is the "Ford Pines"...in other words, Ivaan being the "Hot Twin" among the two of them...

and the reason why Sari in this drawing (which still takes place in a type of Flashback/Memory...but doesn't 100% match what I ended up writing for that chapter.) is because she gave up half of the allspark energy inside her, and ended up going back to being physically and mentally 8 years old with only keeping some of her upgrades, like her eyes staying blue for one...

so she could age and not skip so many years, so the teenage Sari in this drawing that has to do with the flashback/memory, is younger than the upgraded version of herself that appears in the show.

also even if many women in Detroit, do find Ivaan Sumdac very attractive, but they will have 100% no chance with him...

because he likes men, which is what I decided on for that crossover story. and him also being Ace as well. and yeah, he is suppose to be Sari's True Human Father.

Sari is of course upset with Isaac, because he once again kept a secret from her that ended up hurting her and she has every right to be upset with him for not telling her sooner after it was revealed she is half-cybertronian.

I'm glad I was finally able to get around to posting this drawing, even if I ended up doing so on July 29th instead of much earlier in July.

even if it might not make sense, I do want to try with the idea that Simone's arms could be slowly becoming a part of the rest of her body, which would slowly transform all her body into a techno-organic, even her skeleton and everything else...

and like Sari, she will end up stop aging and will stay looking the same age for centuries until she hits a certain age and she may end up aging a bit again physically.

Sari could end up stop aging either at the age she is already, 23 years old or when she becomes 24 years old. but would start to age physically by the next few centuries.

anyway not everyone has to like the idea about Isaac being Sari's Uncle, and it is his twin brother who is Sari's True Human Dad, and the whole Sari having a Muscular and possibly super strong Grandmother...but it is the idea I'm going with for that Crossover story...

and I kind of want to ship Charlie's Dad, Lucifer with Blue Diamond.

there is a bit of Steven Universe in it as well, so yeah...might end up shipping Charlie's Dad with Blue Diamond.

maybe Adam & Yellow Diamond would be in the Friend Zone, like instead of the type of ship where it is "I ship it" it would be "I bud it" because with some "ships" you don't call them "ships" because they wont be the romantic types, which is why you can't use the words "I ship it" because it sends the wrong idea...

that is why ya have to use "I bud it", "I bro it", "I sib it" and "I fam it"

the "I bud it" is for friendships, and the "I bro it", I sib it" and "I fam it" is for family...and we must NEVER use the "I ship it" on those types, only when it is the romantic type ships.

I'm pretty sure that White, Yellow and Blue would be like WAY taller than Sera...and is it weird to think that in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss's shared universe, the Heaven and Hell are both technically in Earth...

and my theory is that Hell in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Universe, is in fact the Planet Theia...I have already started to view Earth by the full name Eartheia, but can still call the planet by the name Earth.

the realms could still be in another plane but it overlaps with Earth's mortal plane.

so yeah in theory, Hellborns and Heavenborns as well as some human hybrids and even the hybrids that are also Hellborns, are all Theian...or whatever they might be called that has to do with the planet Theia, the point is that even if it isn't canon, it can work in the fanon...

I can talk more about that what if type theory, in a future post.

I'm just going to hurry up and post this, and get ready to work on part 2 of the theory about Blitz and his Ex-Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Partners...