selfproclaimedunicorn

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

You can tell a lot about the health of a civilization by their warning signs. Places with a lot of dumb folks will have very broad, very dumb warnings in public. "No feeding the birds." "Stop swimming in this drainage pond." That kind of thing.

Advanced civilizations have very precise signs. They've covered the bases of their regular, run-of-the-mill idiots, and now they're working hard to cover that other end of the bell curve: the talented idiot. When I was in Germany last time, there was a big warning sign that consisted of a 76-letter-long word that means "stop bothering this particular goose, Sven." I don't know who Sven was, but the goose looked pretty calm. It worked.

Now, I have a secret to tell you. You can just make your own signs. There's no law against it, except perhaps "littering," and the municipal sign factory doesn't have very good security. If you show up there past close and put in the door code that you shoulder-surfed off one of the employees returning from lunch a week prior, you have all night to fuck around with their sign-printing machine, making the most official-looking placards you can think of.

Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's a public space, and being able to put up an aluminum sign that says wacky crank shit is your right. For instance, just last week, I banned pickup trucks from parking by the playground. The cops figured out something was going on, because they didn't get any calls for toddlers getting backed over for a couple of days and sent a patrol truck to investigate. Took my sign right down.

What I discovered after that is that nobody keeps records of what signs are supposed to be there. Why would anyone put up a sign for no reason? They cost money, after all. The city is now suing the shit out of that officer for stealing the "no trucks" sign, thanks to an anonymous tipster who called in the theft. Guy wearing a reflective vest came by and put like four more of them up after the lawsuit made the news, just out of spite. I'm not entirely sure if he's actually a city worker; we ran into each other at 3am at the sign factory and just grunted. He was working on some really crazy signs about not feeding a particular swan. Probably German.

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

LUCY LAWLESS as LUCRETIA in SPARTACUS: VENGEANCE (2012) Episode 7: "Sacramentum"

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

whose barely hanging on by a string more right now, me or the man whose been through three different near-apocalyptic events?

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

nosferatu (2024)

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

man idk

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

We have not become so much enlightened as we have been blinded by the gaseous light of science. I have wrestled with the devil as Jacob wrestled the angel in Peniel. And I tell you, if we are to tame darkness, we must first face that it exists.

NOSFERATU (2024) dir. Robert Eggers

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Greta? She has no master or mistress

Nosferatu (2024) dir. Robert Eggers

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

I cannot stress this enough, this is my all time favorite news story

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

@murmel-malt here’s a moodboard of lovely Arwyn Hightower as a thanks for the gorgeous Joanna com!!!

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

products are so bad now that i have to do approximately 8 hours of research before i buy anything

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Reblog to make the person u reblogged this from comfy n cozy

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

This fucking thread about JK Rowling's shit world building.

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Thank you so much, @murmel-malt , for the amazing commission of my girl Deidre, and her twins, Dyana and Tristan. I love this so much!

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

You're too good for this, Sandie. Pretty little thing like you, laying in the gutter. I'd get out while you can, girl.

LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021) dir. Edgar Wright