#one of the most profoundly abusive ppl i have ever had the misfortune of being involved w LMAO.
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(a love story in five parts:)
"You could do anything to me, and I'd let you. ... Tell me you love me, at least. Please. I need to know somebody does."
"I always think of a passage from the Symposium, this allegory about people who started off as two halves of a whole, but then something cut them apart and they spend their whole lives looking for the other half so they can fit themselves back together. And that's how it feels. It hurts. It's like I lost you before I was born."
"I know why you fuck me like you wish you could kill me. I know everything that gets you off, you can't help but show me. There's no part of you that I can't see."
"Because it wasn't as if they'd never hurt each other before-- between them, it was a kind of tenderness, writing themselves onto each other's bodies with every mark they left. It was a promise: I'm here, I've always been here. Pain was a necessary consequence, but that was all it was."
"All they were-- all they had ever been-- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
x. "These Violent Delights", Micah Nemerever
#These Violent Delights#Micah Nemerever#📚#i have been waiting for this book for AGES. i got the rec forever agoooo&it was so worth the wait im clawing out of my skin LMAO.#the way that song of achilles invoked feelings uncomfortably close to my love at what would arguably be its best#there were scenes in this book that made me need to put it down&decompress bc they were uncomfortably close#to actual experiences i had in my actual marriage lmao.#it was actually... fascinating. seeing this story from the pov of someone whos thought processes reminded me so much of#one of the most profoundly abusive ppl i have ever had the misfortune of being involved w LMAO.#it was incredibly written. so much so that when the narrative would devolve into stints that were obviously&heavily unreliable--#i had to. stop. for a sec. lmao.#paul would spiral out of control while dissecting julian&the tone. the way-- even in his own head-- there was nothing julian could#do or say to make him believe that he loved him or cared about him or wasnt manipulating him. it was. intense. lmao.#so obviously i am fucking OBSESSED 💘💘💘#this came at such a good time-- 'if itll keep my heart soft break my heart every day'. :')♡
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