#there were scenes in this book that made me need to put it down&decompress bc they were uncomfortably close

[jvzebel-x]

(a love story in five parts:)

"You could do anything to me, and I'd let you. ... Tell me you love me, at least. Please. I need to know somebody does."

"I always think of a passage from the Symposium, this allegory about people who started off as two halves of a whole, but then something cut them apart and they spend their whole lives looking for the other half so they can fit themselves back together. And that's how it feels. It hurts. It's like I lost you before I was born."

"I know why you fuck me like you wish you could kill me. I know everything that gets you off, you can't help but show me. There's no part of you that I can't see."

"Because it wasn't as if they'd never hurt each other before-- between them, it was a kind of tenderness, writing themselves onto each other's bodies with every mark they left. It was a promise: I'm here, I've always been here. Pain was a necessary consequence, but that was all it was."

"All they were-- all they had ever been-- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."

x. "These Violent Delights", Micah Nemerever

[finnofamerica]

I was tagged by @kabeswaters and @carolinesbookworld

​

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? 0

describe yourself in a hashtag? #toostressedtobedepressed

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? hmmmmmmm, Well that’s a thinker isnt it? Probably my long neglected love Dean O’Goreman

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? Hey get a load of this disaster of parental/abandonment issues. 

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? If I told you then you would know. 

what’s your wake up ritual? Turn off alarm, get dressed/shower, brush teeth, plan for day, breakfast, coffee. 

what’s your go to bed ritual? Brush teeth, use bathroom, put electronics away, make bed, crawl under covers, sleep. 

what’s your favorite time of day? 2am when everything is quiet and there’s nobody on the streets, best time for a drive. 

your go to for having a good laugh? John Mulaney, and stand up comics in general. 

dream country to visit? Finland for obvious reasons. 

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? Uhhh,,,, That my coworks actually like working with me. 

heels or flats/sneakers? Converse or work boots

vintage or new? I like both. It just kinda depends. 

who do you want to write your obituary? My best friend, she’s the only one who could do it bc I can’t imagine anyone knowing what she knows. 

style icon? I don’t have one? I just try my best. 

what are three things you cannot live without? Music, food, Skylar. 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? Teryaki sauce

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? My 4-H team. I need my girls. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? Working hard to find out that all of my efforts were for nothing. 

window or aisle seat? window because the aisle makes me anxious and I like the lights of cities at night.

what’s your current tv obsession? Ragnarök on netflix. It’s so good and you get to see Herman Tømmeraas shirtless. 

favorite app? Tumblr where nothing makes sense and the points don’t matter. 

secret talent? I’m pretty good at accents. 

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? Run away.

how would you define yourself in three words? Anxious, Loyal, Persistant. 

favorite piece of clothing you own? A shirt that my Music Teacher made me in highschool. 

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a hoodie

a superpower you would want? The power to refill things. Refill my bank account, refill the bladder of someone who its annoying me, etc. 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? Spite. 

best piece of advice you’ve received? People keep telling me to relax so.......probably that. 

best advice you’d give your teenage self? Keep doing what you’re doing and you will get what you want. The pain you go through now will make you the woman you were meant to be.

a book everyone should read? The Children of Blood and Bone. 

what would you like to be remembered for? Working so hard that my body goes into shock. 

how do you define beauty? Who gives a shit? As long as you think you’re beautiful, isn’t that all that matters. 

what do you love most about your body? I got curves for days, sugar. 

best way to take a rest/decompress? I miss being able to walk down to the ocean, sit on a rock and just breathe. 

favorite place to view art? Well,,,,,,, a museum I suppose. 

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh lord.......... Um....... Take a Break. 

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? Bass, I’m already a bass player, now I just need to get really good at it. 

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? My best friend’s step father is actually designing my tattoo for my left shoulder. 

dolphins or koalas? koalas, but that’s probably bc I’ve heard of dolphines trying to fuck humans. 

what’s an animal that represents you? While I love foxes, I’ve been compared to a cat more than once. 

best gift you’ve ever received? Uhhhhh, considering I can’t remember the last time I actually recieve a gift.....

best gift you’ve given? My bestfriend loves snails, so for her birthday I got her a snail necklace that she wears a lot. 

what’s your favorite board game? Scrabble. I know a lot more words than my siblings, all things considered. 

what’s your favorite color? Green

least favorite color? Yellow 

diamond or pearls? Diamonds??

drugstore makeup or designer? Neither bc I don’t like makeup. 

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? depends on the time of day, but both. 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? Caroline mentioned Palindrome which I like, bc I love palindromes, but I raise you Aibohphobia which is the fear of palindromes which in itself is a palindrome. 

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? Winter, early January, everything is dark all the time. 

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? Chili and Cheese over rice or Mac n’ Cheese

a dessert you don’t like? Flan

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, and I should probably take advantage of my free time to actually learn how to play my guitar. 

best thing to happen to you today? I wrote 2222 words which not only is all twos but it’s also a palindrome number and I love palindrome numbers. 

worst thing to happen to you today? I realized once again that I will never make my father proud and he proubably couldn’t care less about me. 

best compliment you’ve ever received? My friend (I’m white) once told me that deep down inside I’m an angry native woman. (Which is the best compliment, especially when it comes from a native herself) 

favorite smell? Petrichor. 

hugs or kisses? I kinda find the idea of kissing weird, so hugs. 

if you made a documentary, would it be about? Probably what it’s like to be on the crew for a touring band, not the band itself. 

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? The Hobbit movies. I cry when Fili gets stabbed every fucking time. 

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? Danielle Nicole and Haley Reinhart

how do you know you’re in love? ???? Love??? Never heard of her??

a song you can listen to on repeat? Africa by Toto - I know its a meme but I’m not joking. Other than that probably Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? My “rival”. I don’t really give a shit about what she’s doing right now, but I would like to idk steal all her batteries or something to just make her life suck. But then again, she’d be living my life and she’s a psychopath and would probably try to kill me. 

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? Having the free time to actually write and getting to know my best friend’s family better.