#time again and again until I die
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starting to realise that damn maybe there really is just something fundamentally wrong with me
I have more dumb shit to say about it but you can only have 30 tags?? that's some fucking bullshit. anyway tl;dr: fictional characters not real, I'm depressed about it, I'm a mess my life's a mess everything sucks, I'm crying, life sucks. I've got issues.
#I don't want to be dead#I want to be alive but. not here. there's nothing that could happen in my actual life that would make it good enough to be worth it#I feel so fucking pathetic and gross and broken but the only people I want to be with are fictional#I can't even do the fandom thing and make friends that way. I don't want to talk about them. I want to be with them and nothing else#I'm just. stuck here and I'll never be happy and there will never be anything that I want as much as that#it's so. fucking. pathetic#but like what is there in real life. what could happen that would be good enough. I'll finish uni one way or the other. I'll get a job.#maybe we'll be able to have our own house someday#and then? what then?#it'll happen over and over again. I'll fall in love with these fictional worlds and these fictional people and it'll break my heart every#time again and again until I die#there's nothing else. there's nothing that I want. nothing in real life will ever feel that good because. obviously it won't. it's real.#it's not perfect it's not made up by me specifically to be everything I want#I can't rewrite the same scenario over and over again in my mind until he says exactly the right thing to make me feel better#I'll never have these perfect friends or this perfect guy or this exciting but safe life because it's. just. not real#I just#I don't know how I can keep doing this#I'm so tired#I can't keep feeling like this#it feels so fucking bad#how goddamn embarrassing is it to be an adult in your 30s and just. lie in bed sobbing until you fall asleep because your fucking fictional#crush isn't real and your fictional friends aren't real and you'll never know what happiness feels like#because it can't even get close to the fucking joy you feel when you think about them. it's everything#it feels so fucking good just for a moment and you need it over and over again but you know you can never have it#I'm driving myself insane#genuinely insane.#to the point where every time it gets worse. every time I get these feelings I feel higher and lower than ever before#it feels better and more intense and more amazing. then I realise I still have to be here. I still can't go away. and it feels like dying.#every time a part of me dies.#it's so fucking silly. I know how melodramatic this all is. oh wahh life is so boring and I'm sooo sad over these fictional people I'm gonn
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cat+laila<3
#my first time drawing them!!! their design will probably change until i’m content! and then again if they’re described more in tsc2! lol#i’d die 4 cat tbh. alt cat save me….#i will be drawing laila w boba soon i prom🫶#one day i’ll draw actual canon exy gear but for now ur getting lacrosse#my art#my aftg art#the sunshine court#tsc#tsc spoilers#all for the game#laila dermott#catalina alvarez#exy#wlw#fanart#aftg fanart#deklo#nora sakavic#lailarez
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and they were galpals
#oh i am SO predictable#alternative captiob to this post: welll... good luck babes!#but idk if the dndadders like chappel roan☹️#also lawl this is gonna sound SO stupid but as a lesbian this is. so INSANELY important to me😭#i will write so much fanfiction#for the firsy time in my life#i will write an essay anf publish it when s3 ends#if theyre not canon i will cry myself to sleep until the day i die#dndads#dungeons and daddies#apple pie#IDK I SAW SOMEONE PITCH THAT AD THEIR SHIP NAME AND A PART OF ME MELTED#Kelsey Grammar#is it with an e or an a?? nobody knows#Trudy Trout#someone notify my asap whrn we collectively agree on a ship name#the peachyville horror#peachyville#love them so so so much#god dammit they did it again#hey siri play heaven is a place on earth and do it NOW#me and my girl when we're literally trudy and kelsey
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The promise you kept.
Extra panel: (liked this version too.)
moving on to sakumo.
Panel 1: Handprint (an older drawing to share)
Panel 2: Punishment.
what if they went for kakashi to hurt sakumo instead.
decided to dump the rest of the drawings together, but the tone shift whiplash is real (I shall do it again)
Comic 2: Bias? Not at all.
extra:
He’s just in a silly mood (he feels no remorse)
Comic 3: Did you say something?
fun idea, kakashi actually picked up his behavior from his father (sakumo version is staring people down, while kakashi is verbal)
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#sakumo hatake#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#drawing expressions that are shock or haunted is fun#so making rin go through angst so she’s not left out:D#so the faulty seal going haywire once again#rin watches kakashi die from an enemy but her mind attempts to block it out#the isobu is not thrill#now moving on#SAKUMO#!!!! YEAHH#it’s all fun and games until I remember to give him the same treatment I give to his son#filling him with trauma or making silly posts#I think this is my most messy post which is fun#also darker backgrounds because I’ve been straining my eyes a tad too much (I say for the 3977554 times)#experimental posts yippeee (my eyes oh no) the white screen has finally taken its toll#maybe I’ll change it later but rn my eyes aren’t it#or rn as we speak
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day 2 - ALIEN STAGE
#yttd#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#alnst#yttd spoilers#alice yabusame#reko yabusame#blood tw#blood cw#not yoinara art#alice yabusame art marathon 2024#I MISSED THE DEADLINE AGAIN😭😭😭 happy 6am#surely i will get back on track#this one wasn't my fault this time okay#this was supposed to represent reko's route (+ bongos scene) but i forgot about it until just now😭#pretend they're not in different outfits okay. yay
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sujimon, subzero sonata, redraws, etc!
#fanart#like a dragon#yakuza#yakuza spoilers#<- again not really but still#ALSO SPOILERS IN TAGS ->#apparently it's not normal to take 90398401 tries to beat the jima bros but i am simply built different#(goes in almost 20 levels too low with no group heal and refuses to grind until i die one million times)#and now so much plot is occurring AND [REDACTED] APPEARED FOR SOME REASON? HELLO??? I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU!!!!!#ALL THE REMIXES ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD GOODNESS GRACSIOUS#Y7 AND ICHIBAN ARE. EVERYTHING (PLANET EXPLOSION NOISE)#also why is saejima's face the hardest thing to draw ever i can't get it right at all.... doesn't help that everyone got smoothed
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HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!! I REPEAT, HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!!
#i havent posted anything on this site for years and i talk for these bitches..... as it should be#hes doing the marceline sexy smoldering eyes too i cant take this#i havent seen anyone talk about this and i am LOSING it over this detail i need everyone and their mother to know this#i already commented about this on youtube and someone was already doubting like 'i thought hes looking at the lemoncarbs'#AND I WILL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. U CAN SEE HIS EYES GO DOWN (TO WHERE GARY'S ASSETS ARE) THEN UP TO MEET HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKS BACK#the lemoncarbs are clearly to the left where gary is staring at in horror.....keep up people.#he doesnt look at the lemoncarbs once until they started insulting gary's cute lil baking with the 'i hate their little faces' line#and then u can see his eyes move from left (to where lemoncarbs are) to right to look at gary again.#THERE. CASE OVER#I BETTER NOT SEE ANYONE INVALIDATE THEIR OBVIOUS FUCKING FLIRTING OR I WILL#cry. theyre very important to me. i love bubbline/gumlee so much i will die for them#its also funny that hes doing that NOW when our boy is clearly stressed tf out#its giving 'hate to see you leave love to see you go' energy lmaooo#gumlee#adventure time#fionna and cake#adventure time fionna and cake#gary prince#marshall lee
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May I offer you a hastily drawn picture to wish you a good get-through-the-week? :3
HELLO ??????? HELLO hot gluing this to my eyes IMMEDIATELY thank you so much i feel myself becoming stronger already
#fave#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i am not immune to notifications AND I AM REWARDED GREATLY#snap chats#that parks and rec meme You Know The One i havent stopped staring at this for the past five hours <- its been twenty minutes#PLEAAASSE this is so cute omg thank you so much .... ill cherish this until i die and even then ill continue to cherish it in death#PRECISELY the vision i had earlier you get it ......... im OBSESSED#will have to save this to my phone and refer to it like a sailor lost at sea missing his wife#BOTH wives even .... woAh ......#i dont wanna post this cause i just wanna keep lookign at it whenever i open my inbox. like i need this stapled In My Inbox#we'll do the next best thing il'l print it once i can ....... motivation to not fumble these next few weeks and life tbh#AAA THANK YOU AGAIN MY FRIEND for ALL you do. i STILL have to check the drive you updated i saw that vjLEKJEAJ#a morning endeavor surely ..... for now i bid you good night and a heart Thank You for the nineteenth time !!!!!!!!!#I JUST KEEP SCROLLING BACK UP TO LOOK AT IT PLEAAAASSSEEE ok im gonna sleep FOR REAL NOW#GOOD NIGHT and thank you once more !!!!!! i love it sm .......
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Saw this on tt and wanted to share it Via TikTok
#seeing posts about how young kim actually is messes with me#idk what everyone else ages are meant to be but i always considered everyone else to be like late 20s/early30s but kim 22 and chay 18/17#like what is the age difference between kim/kinn/tankhun#i thought porsche was also like 27/28ish (10 years older than chay)#i was younger than kim when i first watched kp and now im older than him 😭 thats fucked up#anyway#kim with chubby cheeks/baby fat 😌#some mafia guys getting beat up by some random kid and they dont realise it is Kim theerpaanyakul until right before they die#cause no one really knows what kim looks likes and they arent expecting someone who looks like that#this really adds to the porsche seeing kim and adopting him agenda#kim moves out at like age 16 and kinn/tankhun see him for the first time again in like 6 years and theyre like#'your still just a baby?! i thought we missed your cute phase😭🥺'#kim theerapanyakul#jeff satur#kpts
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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Day 50
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#i deadass almost forgot abt it twice on day 50 im used to llooking in the same spot but it wasnt there anymore because it MOVED#i was genuinely stunned and was just saying 'oh.' or 'wow.' or the variants of out of words to describe what im feeling#that and the occasional yelp of surprise#so i deadass forgot about the train in the flurry of emotions . until i heard it SCREAMIMG and i had also yelled at that moment#i had put my head in my hands for a solid few seconds as i jusr kept hearing that fuckass train in c comand 1 go COOOCHGOHDHOGIHAB#before i actually functioned again and probably over shielded all agents i could near the possible path#i didnt qant ANY of them to die !!! on day 50 too!!! come on man its basically a free day#other thing was that i let Ryn have the last work. was going to be vincent with mosb but we were a few enerfy short#uhmm. say it as a sorry for letting your wife (girlfriend) die ryn. sorry ryn .... you get to have the final fuck ass abno work of the day#x lobcorp#its mostly my thoughts than trhing to be in chafacter. tis not in character. i just needed a pad for some comedic timing#/<QUEUE>/
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign
#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!! SO MUCH!! ACTUALLY!!!!!!
new friends and old, online and irl i love them so much and i love having friends
#i am ovulating again can you tell#i mean i love them all the time but only when i’m ovulating am i bold enough to say it on a platform that i know some of them are on#yes i mean you.#and you.#and you also#no but for once in my life i feel like i have friends who actually like me and enjoy my company and aren’t just tolerating me#i feel wanted in a way i didn’t really for years and years and it’s fucking awesome#i will say it until the day i die: i love my friends#and more people should say it
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can you all imagine if excalibur was the only way for merlin to die on? excalibur, forged on a dragon's breath and meant only for arthur, the sword that killed arthur's bane and merlin's shadow and could not protect arthur would also be merlin's end
#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#i was reading a fic#[ uther discovers about merlin's magic and in a dark comedy way they try to find a way to kill merlin bc he just . won't. die .#and arthur discovers both of them almost at the same time they start their experiments so -#the idea of one of them realizing they never really tried to kill merlin with a magic sword and arthur heards it and tries dismiss it#/but is a magic sword/ and at the last moment he puts himself between merlin and the blade/#injured and blowing about his eavesdropping#but he couldn't really let merlin be killed and the fear in his gut that this time it could take... arthur couldn't do it#and so this idea that excalibur could kill merlin was an interesting concept#because was is this is how exacalibur found his way once again into the rock? merlin killed himself on it lol#and said rock dissapears once again into the woods until the once and future king rised again-#so you have to find the rock THE STONE GODDAMINT and then you have to take it out and merlin would also come back#because he was just sleeping waiting for his king n.n ]
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Fuck it, King Candy/Turbo movie time stamps (According to Disney+)
First "Going Turbo" mention: 6:06
First King Candy Graffiti: 7:16
Second "Going Turbo" mention: 23:38
First Turbo Graffiti: 32:33
First King Candy appearance: 33:46
Castle Interrogation Scene: 37:38
Third "Going Turbo" mention: 38:27
Fourth "Going Turbo" mention: 45:31
Turbo Flashback: 45:36
Kart Bakery Scene: 52:04
Castle/Manipulating Code: 59:00
Ralph/King Candy Talk: 1:03:15
Deleting Vanellope's Code: 1:12:19
Final Race: 1:16:17
Turbo Reveal: 1:20:57
First Death: 1:21:50
King Candybug: 1:24:00
Second Death: 1:26:52
End Credits Cameo: 1:34:49
#I GUESS I COULD ALSO PUT 20:58 AS FIRST APPERANCE since he appears on the game screen when the two kids are hogging the game#he's just there and centered btw#foreshadowing#wreck it ralph#king candy#turbo time#king Candybug#king cybug#I still fucking lose it at the fact this man had to die 3 times to finally go down#until Magical Kingdoms revived him#again only reason I have Disney+ is cuz stepdad got it last year in march to binge watch Star Wars#yeah every single movie and show#that man#idk how to tag this#that last one is just in case cuz I actually never noticed until like the 28th time I rewatched the credits#he actually has two cameos on the credits#his sleeve and his fireworks for VA credit
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