#and Kit and Ace are fuck buddies who never got around to actually fucking by the time they realized that

[beneathtreemomo]

Names Amongst the Dead

I got another commission from @sakura-rose12 of Kit!!! Beautiful boy and 3/4ths of his qpr (plus also his eventual boyfriend. No, I will never make a straightforward relationship. It's too fun to make them deep and meaningful, unable to be explained through words. Law is the last fourth if you were curious lol, he just didn't fit in with the theme) Have a one-shot to go with it :D -----

Kit's back hit the wall hard, causing him to stumble from the awkward angle as his and Alvarus’ legs found purchase on the steps.

Cold metal pressed against his skin; Kit froze, making the wise decision not to move.

"Oh?" Kit asked, fighting the urge to tilt his head. "I thought we'd gotten past you pulling a sword on me."

“Highness…” Alvarus breathed, a shaky awe to it that never really went away.

It made Kit huff as he smiled down at the ex-knight. “Hi, Alva.”

Brilliant sapphire eyes melted, Alvarus' sharp-edged smile turning into something softer. The distance between them was already small; Kit could feel Alvarus’ breath against his skin, knew that if Penguin or Shachi caught sight of them, he'd never hear the end of their teasing.

“Are you well?” Alvarus asked, without fail.

“Better than ever.” Kit replies, always.

A beat passed as Alvarus’ gaze studied Kit. He always made sure Kit wasn't lying to him, especially after the one time Kit had genuinely tried, and Kit could never find it in him to be mad about it.

He sighed as he determined there was nothing amiss; Kit chuckled as Alvarus seemed to collapse against him, knocking their foreheads together.

“Stop worrying me, please,” Alvarus mumbled, rubbing his nose against Kit's. His body was warm, a comforting blanket against the chill of the winter island's sea. “You’re one of few things I have left from our home. I don't think I could handle watching your vivre card try to burn a second time.”

“I’ll do my best,” Kit said after a moment, feeling the sword drop away as Alvarus sunk into the embrace. “But I can’t make any promises. You know that.”

Now that he could properly move again, Kit lifted a hand to tangle it in Alvarus’ hair, fingernails lightly scratching at the base of his neck. He returned the nuzzle, pressing his cheek against Alvarus' before pushing back his hat with a gentle hand.

Alvarus' eyes closed as he leaned into the touch with a soft sigh. “Why must all of you Lagthas be so difficult?”

Kit chuckled, pressing his lips to Alvarus’ temple. “Runs in the blood, I’m afraid.”

----

“Hey, Sabo, I—whoa!!”

As soon as Kit stepped foot into the room Sabo had chosen during their stay, a hand had wrapped around his wrist and yanked him inside.

The door was shut with a muted thud, though Kit barely managed to notice as he was slammed into the wall just next to it.

“You!”

For a moment, all Kit could see was Sabo’s jacket and the frills of his cravat. Then Sabo leaned down, caging Kit in, and his eyes were like fire.

Kit’s heart skipped a beat, unease settling low in his gut.  “…Me?”

“Were you ever going to tell us?” Sabo asked, voice low. “About who you really are?”

The unease turned into lead, sinking and pulling Kit down with it. “This is who I really am.”

“Liar,” He hissed, leaning in closer. Kit felt rather than saw Sabo’s hand moving, and with a jump he raised his hands between them to try and placate the fuming man. “I know that you’re a prince!”

Shit. He’d been afraid of that answer, even though he’d expected it. Kit really should start to know better.

“Well, sure, but—"

“Is this just a joke to you?” Sabo asked, hand pressing just enough into Kit’s side to keep him pinned. Something slipped in his voice, cracking and splintering with the confirmation his findings had been right; Kit hadn’t looked away from Sabo’s gaze at all, but only now could he see the grief and panic at the edges of his eyes.

Kit’s heart sank. “What? Sabo, no. Why would I be joking about any of this?”

“Because that’s what all nobles do in situations like this,” Sabo hissed, lips curling into a snarl. “Lie and trick us, just to hurt us behind our backs.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?! If you hurt my brothers the way you hurt your people, Prince, I swear—”

Tears pricked Kit’s eyes at the low blow, heart hurting like he’d been stabbed. He shoved Sabo away and was, admittedly, a little shocked that Sabo let him. “What the fuck is your problem?!” He shouted. He knew it was too quick of a flip, but he'd thought Sabo of all people would understand, and instead he was being accused of wanting to hurt his friends.

Sabo merely stared at him, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Kit didn’t move away from the wall, but now it was his turn to snarl at Sabo. “Look in the goddamn mirror! You’re a nobleman from birth, too!”

“Watch what you say next.” The harshness in Sabo’s voice sent a shock of fear down Kit’s spine, but he didn’t stop.

“Oh, don’t be such a hypocrite.” Kit snapped back, standing tall even as Sabo’s glare sharpened back into something dangerous. “I’d already run by the time the kingdom fell; your research showed this, I know it did. Everyone knows Prince Rori disappeared three years prior."

He scoffed, feeling words he didn't want to admit spill from his mouth without his say. “What, would I be in your good graces if I had stayed to be Haesgard’s toy? Or gone back to be a lamb to the slaughter the second I caught wind of Valstasia’s fall? Forgive me for doing what my mother and Lavi sacrificed themselves for.”

He didn’t notice the way Sabo’s anger faltered as he spoke, eyes growing wide with dread as the implications of things not even the Revolutionaries would have found out slipped from Kit’s lips.

“I thought we were friends,” Kit continued, glaring at Sabo through watering eyes. “You said you trusted me because Ace and Luffy trusted me. Didn’t realize it was so easy to lose, too.”

Fed up with the conversation—annoyed because he’d actually been excited to see Sabo during this mission of his, only for it to turn into this mess of a shouting match—Kit shouldered his way past Sabo to the door.

“I’m not like those nobles you grew up hating. Don’t talk to me again until you figure that out.”

Sabo stared at the door, almost wishing Kit had slammed it shut. It would make it easier to dispel the anger still thrumming in his veins, maybe even get rid of the guilt that started settling in his chest.

That… wasn’t what he expected to happen.

Looking back, it should have been.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, fingers lingering on his scar. “Shit... I just messed up, didn't I?”

....He really should have known better.

---

Kit headed back to his room, a slight skip in his step. He’d managed to convince Law to lay down and nap, finally, and Cora had promised to keep him there until their captain could form coherent sentences again. Tang had surfaced for a while, as well, to let in some much needed fresh air and get the crew some sun.

Mostly, Kit was just glad they were headed away from Wano, and he could spend one more day not thinking about the situation looming over his shoulders.

Except, now he was thinking about it. Dammit.

His steps slowed. It… was okay to wait a few more days, right?

It was too nice a day to think about existential dread, and he didn’t want to worry Law when he woke. After that whole mess of an island, none of the crew needed to worry about him and his decades-old problem. It had waited this long—it could wait a little more.

But there had been that letter….

“Hey, Kit, what’s got you all broody?”

Kit startled, a tiny little yelp managing to leave his lips before he shut it down just as fast as he looked up.

Ace stood there across from him, hands in his pockets and an easy smile on his face. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Ace!” Kit breathed out a sigh of relief, leaning back against the wall. “Don’t startle me like that!”

“Sorry,” He said, completely unapologetic, “Being a ghost does that to someone, I’ve learned.”

Kit laughed, having to admit he had a point. “That’s fair. But your fire’s usually a lot louder than that, so I’m surprised you hid so well.”

“Hm.” Ace came closer, concern creasing his brow. “I don’t know about that, Kit. I think you’re just… distracted. You okay?”

No, but Kit’s pretty sure he hasn’t been for a while.

“It’s nothing,” He promised, tasting ash on his tongue. “Just thinking, is all.”

“Ahh, I see.” Ace nodded, humming thoughtfully a moment later. Kit raised a brow as he stepped into his space, resting an arm above Kit’s head. “Well, how about I help you stop thinking for a bit, hm?”

As he spoke, Ace brought a hand up to take Kit’s chin between his forefinger and thumb, stroking Kit’s bottom lip. Kit huffed a laugh at the action, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh? And how are you going to do that?”

“I’m sure you could come up with something, eh, Enchanter?” Ace all but purred, eyes locked onto Kit’s. It made Kit’s heart race, excitement thrumming to life in his veins as Ace leaned ever closer—

Only for Ace to yelp as he suddenly fell through both Kit and the wall.

Kit burst out laughing while Ace let out a dismayed cry, covering his smile with his hand as Ace righted himself. He turned back to Kit, all charm replaced by a sheepish smile and heavy flush down to his chest that had Kit’s heart turning to mush.

“Guess that didn’t really… go well, huh?”

“No,” Kit disagreed, still giggling as he lowered his hand. “No, I think it worked exactly how you wanted it to.”

Ace pouted as he readjusted his hat where it had fallen askew. “But I wanted a kiss.”

With a smile Kit walked past, flicking the string of his cap up to Ace’s nose as he did. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you back in your body eventually. I’ve got a lead.”

“Wait—really?!” Perking up much like an excited dog, Ace cheered and ran to give Kit a giant hug.

Only to fall flat on his face as he, once again, went right through. Kit’s laughter was heard all the way up to the sundeck.

[dweetwise]

300 followers gift fic: beach episode

instead of taking a writing break i finally finished the crackfic i promised for 300 followers! it’s a little weird and i,, kind of make fun of frank a little too much but i hope you enjoy the silliness nonetheless!

characters: david, dwight, steve, ace, quentin, frank, julie, susie, joey ship: david x dwight warnings: mild violence, mention of blood word count: 6950 (hELP)

David feels his feet hit the ground as he’s teleported into a trial, the fog of the Entity slowly clearing from his mind. He opens his eyes—

—and promptly has to close them right after because bloody hell it's bright!

“Woah! Look at this!” an awestruck voice exclaims from somewhere nearby, and David thinks it's Steve, finally managing to squint his eyes open enough to try to make out their surroundings.

As soon as he does so, he immediately decides he's hallucinating.

He's on a sunny beach. There's waves slowly rolling onto the fine white sand and the sun is shining bright, high up in the clear blue sky.

The only thing that stops David from being sure that he's dreaming is Steve smacking him on the shoulder and uttering an excited “Dude, are you seeing this?” because if he was dreaming he sure as hell wouldn't be here with Steve.

“Where are we?" a voice that sounds much more fitting for his dream pipes up from behind him, and David turns to find Dwight making his way over. "Did—did we escape…?” their leader's tired eyes are wide with hope, and he rubs his arms nervously and—

Holy shit, he's shirtless.

Steve is shrugging and replying something to Dwight, but David's brain can't comprehend anything that isn't Dwight and his surprisingly well-defined, freckled shoulders and the adorable chub around his waist and fuck, David bets his skin feels so soft—

“What do you think, David?” Dwight asks, and David forces himself to tear his gaze away from Dwight’s torso to his face. But then he has those big, brown eyes looking up at him and searching for guidance, like David is even half of the leader Dwight is.

“Don’t seem like a trial,” David manages to get out through the mess of thoughts that is his feelings for the man. “Should look around—you stay close to me, eh?” he urges their leader, despite knowing full well Dwight is more than enough capable of looking after himself.

He takes some comfort in the fact that despite Dwight being aware of that too, the man responds with a nod and a small, if a little shaky, smile.

“Come on guys, hurry up!” Steve calls from a short distance away, reminding David that they’re not, in fact, alone. They follow the excited teen, walking along the shoreline.

As Steve prattles on about how warm it is and pesters them about whether or not they know how to swim, David tries and fails to focus on their predicament and not let his eyes wander.

He notices Dwight is wearing red board shorts with a pizza slice pattern, and tries not to smile. He wonders if it’s something he owned in the real world, or that the Entity made up just for this occasion. Either way, they’re way cuter than they have any right of being.

“Dude, I like the shorts!” Steve’s voice finally gets through to David, probably because he’s looking a little too intently at Dwight’s neither regions, but then he thankfully turns to give David the same treatment. “Yours are… uh, kinda neat too!”

And for the first time David actually takes a look at his own outfit. He hadn’t even realized he was also in swimwear, so used to going shirtless trial after trial. But sure enough, the Entity has put him in dark blue swim shorts, and he snorts upon spotting the cartoony beer pint pattern. He sure as hell has never owned a pair that looks like this, so apparently the Entity is enjoying playing dress-up with them.

“I think yours are cool too,” Dwight returns the compliment and David goes back to glaring at Steve, who grins and shows off his (really fucking ugly, in David’s opinion) striped shorts with pictures of ice cream cones.

Steve, thankfully, doesn’t have time for what would no doubt be an obnoxious reply, the sounds of an argument drifting over to the trio.

“—you should let me do it! I have Plunderers!” David recognizes Ace’s annoying voice before he spots the man, standing over what looks to be someone searching a chest.

“And I have Pharmacy, so shut it,” Quentin’s messy mop of hair appears over the chest when he offers a half-hearted glare at the gambler.

“Nobody wants a dusty old med-kit!” Ace huffs, hands on his hips. “Who knows what else we could find?”

“Too late,” Quentin snarks and finally rips the lock off, Ace sighing in defeat as he opens the chest. “What the… what’s all this?”

“Oi, what’s going on?” David walks up to the duo. “Did’ya find somethin’?”

“Hey, buddy—” Ace greets before David shoves his way past the man, peering into the chest that has Quentin so confused, coming face to face with…

“Beach equipment?” Quentin summarizes, lifting a water gun and a towel from the chest.

“Cool!” Steve has joined them and, predictably, gets excited, grabbing the toy immediately.

“Have you two seen anyone else?” Dwight asks Quentin and Ace, trailing after Steve to join them.

“Nope!” Ace chirps, grabbing a pair of sunglasses and a beach towel from the box. “Looks like it’s just us, unless the rest are… I don’t know, out at sea?”

“Half expected to run into a killer,” Quentin muses. “Guess we got lucky it’s just the five of us instead.”

“Shame it's just dudes. I bet the girls would've—uh,” Steve says, before seeming to realize how desperate he sounds. “Really enjoyed it too…?” he finishes with a sheepish smile.

“Uh-huh,” Quentin deadpans. “I'm sure that's the reason.”

“It's a tragedy the new guy isn't here," Ace sighs wistfully. “I’d pay good money to see him shirtless.”

David rolls his eyes while Dwight, embarrassed, chokes on nothing.

“Y-you shouldn't talk about Felix like that,” their leader stammers, completely oblivious to how David was ogling him earlier.

“Just saying what half of the camp is thinking,” Ace shrugs.

“I wonder if Jane's coming?” Steve seems to realize, glancing around as if expecting more people to pop up out of thin air.

“You're both disgusting,” Quentin snorts, starting to walk away from the group. “I'm going for a swim."

“But we don't know if it's safe!” Dwight calls after him.

"I mean… if I drown in Entity goo, don't come after me," Quentin merely responds, putting on some swimming goggles and making his way to the shoreline.

“I wonder why Quentin’s in a speedo and the rest of us have trunks?” Steve thinks out loud, and sure enough, David realizes he’s right, noticing Quentin’s swimwear when he swan dives into the ocean.

“Didn’t he use to do competitive swimming?” Dwight points out, because of course he would, because nobody knows any of them quite as well as Dwight, because he’s an amazing leader and friend and—

David’s train of thought comes to a halt when he glances around and notices what has to be a crime against fashion.

“I’d rather a speedo than whatever the fock tha’ is,” David snorts, gesturing to where Ace is laying his beach towel, wearing a pair of hot pink swimming trunks with a banana pattern, along with a trashy, bright yellow aloha shirt. Apparently he’s gotten so used to the man’s questionable style that he didn’t even notice the travesty until now.

“Aww, come on David!” Ace grins, taking his jab in stride. “I know you really wanted some pink shorts too.”

“It’s kinda funny that the Entity gave us shorts with our favorite food!” Steve grins while rummaging through the supplies in the chest. “I love ice cream, Dwight obviously likes pizza, and David beer, and Ace—”

“Cock,” David finishes the sentence, eyeing the banana shorts suspiciously, while Ace bursts out laughing, Steve’s eyes fly wide open and Dwight sputters something unintelligible.

“David!” Dwight finally manages to scold him, face red from embarrassment. “You can’t just say stuff like that—”

“Yeah yeah, sorry luv,” David grins apologetically, immediately cursing himself for letting the pet name slip. “’M goin’ for a swim too,” he decides, making his way to the water to try to get his thoughts in order.

David’s never been much of a beach person, not having enough patience to sunbathe and not a huge fan of swimming, either. But he can’t deny the warmth from the sun, even if fake, feels nice, and the soft sand under his feet is pleasant. When was the last time he even walked barefoot?

His toes touch the water and that’s where the pleasantness ends because goddamn, it’s cold! David can’t remember the last time he felt an actual chill, as the Entity seems determined to make sure they’re never too hot or too cold, even the snowy grounds of Ormond feeling room temperature.

But now, David has to grit his teeth as cold shoots through his system just from dipping his toes in. He glances at Quentin, still swimming around without a care in the world, and can’t imagine how the hell the teen managed to dive right in without going into shock.

David glances over his shoulder, wanting to see if someone’s looking at him freaking out over the water like a scared kitten. Steve is still engrossed in pulling out all the contents of the crate, before he hands a bottle of something to Dwight, who squirts some into his hand and starts—lord have mercy—lathering himself up with the sunscreen.

And David is helpless to do anything but stare, seeing Dwight work the creamy substance into his equally creamy skin, starting with his arms and then working it into his chest. He runs his hands down his torso, covering himself self-consciously when the softness around his belly jiggles slightly with the movement, and god what David wouldn’t give to be able to do that for him. He’d work the lotion into the skin nice and slow, taking his time and making sure to murmur how perfect Dwight looks and how good his body feels—

David’s brain does the equivalent of a record screech when his perfect, half-naked angel walks up to Ace, of all people.

“Ace, can you… uh, give me a hand with my back…?” Dwight asks nervously, holding out the bottle of sunscreen, and David thinks he's going to burst a vein from how much his blood pressure rises upon hearing the request.

Ace sits up on his elbows, before looking over his sunglasses with a smirk like the disgusting pervert he is, and David swears that if he lays a finger on Dwight's bare skin he's fucking throwing fists—

But then Ace's eyes meet his and a trimmed eyebrow raises in acknowledgement, still with that infuriating smirk on his face, and David's anger gives way to mortification because shit, what if Ace knows about his little crush?

To his relief, Ace just ends up sighing.

“Can you ask someone else? I'm kind of busy,” the gambler says, flopping back down to lay on his towel.

“Oh, okay…” Dwight says, looking so disappointed, and David’s breath catches in his throat because this is his chance!

“What the fuck, Ace?” Quentin emerges from the waves beside him before he can do anything. “Not everyone has your complexion. Some of us burn really easily,” Quentin scolds, walking up to the duo and no doubt glaring at the gambler. “Come on, I’ll help you,” he offers to Dwight, who returns a grateful smile.

Quentin starts rubbing the cream onto Dwight’s back, and then has the nerve to ask if Dwight can return the favor, so David grits his teeth and marches into the ocean to cool off so he doesn’t end up pile driving the teen into the sand.

He only manages to get deep enough for the water to reach his junk before he instantly regrets the decision, the cold making things shrivel up unpleasantly. He ends up just ducking his head into the water and wading back to shore, hoping that Dwight the others didn’t see him chickening out for the second time in a row.

The others are still engrossed in their own activities, Steve filling up the water gun in the shallows and Ace looking to doze off in the sun, Quentin and Dwight chatting nearby.

And nobody sees the strange group approaching from the treeline behind them.

“Oi!” David calls, getting the attention of his friends and picking up the pace to get to Dwight in case the strangers mean bad news. “Hope yer not lookin’ fer trouble,” he addresses the new group, causing the others to finally take notice of their company.

“Who’s that?” Quentin asks with a frown, taking in the sight of four people, two girls and two guys, dressed in swimwear and one of the boys even carrying a large swim ring on his shoulder. The group’s animated chatter dies down as they seem to notice their company.

“Oh my god, this is fucking typical!” one of the group, a young woman with blonde hair and a plaid bikini, scoffs in offense.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here!?” a skinny man with very questionable choice of swimwear, pastel purple board shorts with rubber ducks, demands.

“Fuck me, is the Entity pranking us?” the other man sighs, dressed in much more bland swimwear with black and white skulls.

“Aww,” the final member pouts, twiddling with her bright pink braid over her pink and black bikini. “Frank, you didn’t tell us there’d be others!”

David’s brow furrows upon hearing the name; it sounds familiar, but he can’t quite place it. Luckily, Dwight is much more of a quick thinker than he is.

“L-legion?” Dwight squeaks, his eyes going wide in fear, and David is now back to full alert because he’s right, they group is definitely the killers, David just didn’t connect the dots because of how normal the kids look.

“What, you gonna scream? Cry?” the leader, Frank, taunts obnoxiously, strutting to the front of his posse. “How about you guys go fuck yourselves and leave the beach to us, before someone gets hurt?”

Dwight takes a step back while David takes one forward, anger bubbling up because who the fuck does this prick think he is—

“Nice swimmies, Franky,” Quentin suddenly pipes up, making David stop in his tracks. “Did your mommy pick them out for you?”

“Tch—” Frank balks, his face scrunching up in anger even as redness rises up on his cheeks.

“He might have lost a small bet,” the pink-haired girl, David doesn’t recall her name, quips cheerfully in response.

“Shut up, Susie!” Frank hisses at his friend, before turning back to point at Quentin accusingly. “Of course you had to bring this waste of space, too!” he seems to direct the complaint at Dwight.

“S-sorry—” Dwight starts.

“Don’t,” David orders, placing a large hand on Dwight’s shoulder and stepping between their leader and the Legion’s. “This arsehole don’t deserve yer apology."

“Oh yeah?” the bigger guy, David thinks he remembers hearing his name is Joey, steps forward to back up his friend. Unfortunately, he doesn’t intimidate David in the slightest, especially not with only an inflatable beach toy as his weapon. “Maybe you should think twice about picking a fight.”

“Guys…” the blonde girl starts, sounding exasperated.

“Come on Jules, knives or not, we can take them. Easily,” Frank tells her, and David notices both Dwight and Quentin tense next to him, preparing himself to dodge a swing any second now—

“Ahoy, ladies!” Steve suddenly shoves his way to the front of the group, offering the two girls a cheeky grin and cocking his water gun against a hat he doesn’t have. “Would you like to set sail on an ocean of—” he falters, looking around the beach in thought. “…Water?”

There’s a moment of silence following Steve’s interruption, the tension in the air effectively disappearing as everyone stares at Steve with varying levels of amusement and disbelief.

“Um,” the pink-haired girl—Susie—comments, regarding the teen skeptically.

“Aww, he’s even more of a dork outside of trials,” the one named Jules—for Julie, right?—coos patronizingly. “Look at him with his little toy!”

“Thanks! You wanna have a watergun fight?” Steve is either completely oblivious to the jab or takes it in stride.

“I’ll shove that fucking gun so far down your throat—” Frank threatens.

“Kinky!” Quentin comments cheerily.

“Oh you’ll regret that—” Frank snarls.

“Children!” Ace’s yell snaps them out of the ensuing argument, everyone turning to face the man who has apparently finally decided to grace them with his presence.

“Ugh, it just keeps getting better,” Julie snarks sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“While apparently you guys had a negotiation with the Entity, we have no idea why it decided to put us here,” Ace explains with a friendly smile, ignoring the snide comment. “So why not try to make the most of it? There’s more than enough room for all of us. We’ll stay out of your hair if you do the same,” he says, giving a pointed stare at David and Quentin.

“Okay!” Susie beams.

“What? No it’s not!” Frank argues.

“Why not?” the girl whines. “I don’t wanna waste time fighting. This was supposed to be our day off.”

“So we gonna beat them up or what?” Joey seems to be getting impatient. “If not, I wanna go swimming.”

“Yeah, same,” Julie agrees. “Let’s just leave them be.”

“Fine,” Frank spits, glaring at each of the survivors in turn. “You’d better stay the fuck outta my sight.”

David wants to argue and he can sense Quentin does too, the teen biting his lip to suppress what would no doubt be a snarky comment. The only thing stopping David from picking a fight is Dwight’s hesitant hand on his arm, a wordless plea to not make the situation worse, and Frank would have to push a whole lot harder for David to ever deny Dwight.

“Looks like we have a deal,” Ace smiles, his shoulders sagging just the tiniest bit from relief.

There’s a silent understanding when the killers start making their way to one side of the beach while Ace motions for them to head back to theirs, and the situation looks to be peacefully resolved.

“Hey, you guys should check out the stuff the Entity gave us!” Steve suggests, inviting them right back over, most likely unintentionally, but it still makes Dwight sigh and David can even hear Ace groan in exasperation.

“I give up,” Ace sighs with a wave of his hand, leaving them to fend for themselves for when another fight inevitably breaks out.

David doesn’t really care if the killers grab some of the items meant for them, but it’s the principle of the thing, and his hands ball into fists while the teens rummage through the chest.

Susie eventually pulls out an inflatable pool toy with a unicorn that says ‘princess’.

“Oh my god, look how cute!” she squeals, holding up the toy.

“I bet it's Dweeb's,” Frank smirks smugly.

That's it, he's going down—

“You take that back!” David snarls, stepping forward aggressively.

“David, please!” Dwight protests.

“Yeah, can you guys not?” Julie sighs, rolling her eyes while procuring a pair of sunglasses from the chest.

“No one's impressed by this alpha male bullshit,” Quentin agrees.

“Not my fault this cocksucker can't take a joke—” Franks starts.

“Yer the one who's too much of a pussy to fight!” David accuses. “Let's go, right now!”

“Guys!” Joey yells. “If you really wanna butt heads, how about we play for it instead?” he asks, grabbing a volley ball from the trunk. “Our team versus yours. Winner gets bragging rights.”

“Oh, we're totally in! Right guys?” Steve, predictably, is all over the game.

David frowns. It's been years since he's played beach volley, but how hard can it be? Especially compared to his scrawny opponent; Frank probably hasn't done a day of sports in his life.

“Fine,” he spits.

“Fine,” Frank smirks.

“I'm in,” Quentin offers.

“Come on, Suz," Julie offers.

“You know I suck at sports!” the girl whines, but obediently goes to stand with the group.

Still missing one member for their teams to be even, everyone looks at Dwight.

“M-m-me!?” he squeaks.

Frank looks like he's about to say something, but is interrupted by Joey shoving the net into his arms.

“Come help me set this shit up,” Joey says with a pointed look and Frank rolls his eyes and complies.

Huh. Maybe that Joey guy isn't so terrible.

“Yeah, who else? Ace?” Steve is doing his best to encourage Dwight. “He’d probably throw his back out or something.”

“I heard that!” the gambler calls from his lazing around spot.

“And I'm sure you're better than you realize!” Steve continues, ignoring the comment.

“But I've never played,” Dwight says, still hesitant.

“You'll pick it up in no time,” Quentin encourages. “You don't even have to do much, we'll cover for you.”

“I don't know…”

“Pleeeaaase?” Steve whines and even pouts, clearly pulling out all the stops. “We really wanna play and if you don't we won't have enough players."

Dwight looks at David, and David does his best to give an encouraging smile.

“Come on, mate,” he says. “You’ll have fun, promise.”

That’s a lie, but David just really wants Dwight to be there to witness him kicking Frank's ass.

“Okay,” Dwight finally relents, looking away from David with a sigh.

Steve cheers loudly and soon enough, they’ve joined the Legion who have finished setting up the net and the game can begin.

It turns out the teams are surprisingly even. Steve and Joey are the best players by far, managing difficult serves, covering for the others and even extending to get shots David didn't even think possible.

Quentin and Julie aren't far behind in skill, not having the precision of their respective team captains but still succeeding in keeping the ball in play.

David likes to think he's better than Frank, but neither of them are doing too well, missing shots that should have hit and even causing the ball to fly out of bounds.

Dwight and Susie are the worst by far, with Dwight landing wet noodle passes at best and mostly just trying to stay out of the way. Susie is nearly actively sabotaging her team, squealing and covering her head if it looks like Steve or Quentin are going for a particularly rough hit.

Steve looks to be enjoying himself thoroughly, and David thinks he tones down some of his shots to prolong the game and give the others a chance. Quentin on the other hand is surprisingly competitive, often aiming for Susie's corner which is their opponent's weak link.

David mostly focuses his efforts on aiming at Frank's face, and from the way the teen keeps snarling and glaring at him, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

The Legion eventually turning against each other is kind of funny.

“Jesus, Frank, you suck ass,” Julie complains, watching the ball fly over the line when Frank hits it at a weird angle.

“I mean I’m not surprised that you guys know how to handle balls,” Frank snarks. “Personally, it’s not something I’d be proud of.”

“Then why did you spend three years practicing basketball?” Susie jokes, making her leader fume.

The survivors' camaraderie on the other hand is high, even as the scores are neck-to neck and adrenaline is running high. Steve takes every opportunity to encourage Dwight when he fails, and Quentin commends him when he makes a good play.

It should maybe make David jealous, but he's just happy to see Dwight smile and enjoy himself. He wishes he had the tact of the two to praise him too, feeling way more comfortable with showing off his athletic skill than actually talking to Dwight.

“Shit—” Steve dives into the sand and barely manages to save the ball after a particularly nasty serve from Julie. He doesn't get a clean hit, and the ball swerves a curve to the left instead of to the right where David was prepared to set it up, narrowly missing Quentin's head.

And then Dwight comes out of nowhere, managing to redirect the ball back into play, and David is so fucking excited he nearly misses the hit, but thankfully manages to get it over the net and Susie doesn't even seem to try to stop it.

“Go Dwight!” she cheers.

“Nice work, dude!" Steve whoops, spitting some sand from his mouth.

“I, uh,” Dwight is clearly flustered.

“That's what I'm talkin' about!” David encourages, smacking Dwight on the back and causing him to stumble forward.

"T-thanks,” Dwight smiles nervously.

“You done kissing ass?” Frank snarks, glaring at Susie.

“Yup, now we're gonna kick yours,” Quentin shoots back.

“Come on guys, 18 to 20! We can do this!” Steve encourages, and everyone gets back into position.

Julie serves again, and Quentin catches it. They get the ball over easily, and Joey raises it. Julie is in position to set it up it, and Frank jumps into the air, and David just hopes he misses the shot—

The ball whizzes past Steve and Quentin in front, and it's going way too hard to land within bounds, so that’s a free point for them—

But then David realizes the trajectory it's on, and time seems to slow down to a crawl as it hits Dwight square in the face with a sickening smack.

And David sees red.

When he comes to, he's on top of a struggling Frank and there are arms trying to restrain him from behind. The voices sound faraway and muddled because of the overwhelming sound of blood rushing in his ears. His arms are held back, so he headbutts Frank instead, and feels a sick sense of glee when he hears the crunch and Frank yelping out a curse.

“That’s enough, man! Cut it out!” a voice he doesn't recognize cuts through the haze, and David snarls, elbowing whoever it is in the gut. The restraint against his left hand gives way, and he's about to shrug out of the hold, ready to beat the living shit out of Frank—

And then he takes a bucketful of sea water to the face and it's fucking cold bloody hell—

“Merda—would you behave for two fucking seconds!?” Ace is yelling at them, angry for being disturbed again, a telling empty bucket in his hands.

The shock from the cold is the only thing that makes David resist the urge to redirect his anger in the form of his fist meeting the gambler's face.

“Steve, take David to cool off and punch a palm tree of something,” Ace commands like a frustrated mother. “And you three, make sure Frank doesn't do something stupid… well, stupider. Quentin, you’re helping me clean Dwight’s face.”

At the mention of Dwight, David snaps out of it and anxiously starts looking around to search for the man in question, soon noticing Quentin crouched by him and Susie anxiously fluttering nearby.

Seeing Dwight's bloody face breaks his heart, but luckily their leader seems to only have a nosebleed, even if the blood running down his face looks kind of gruesome. David hopes he didn't break his nose.

His anger threatens to bubble up again; if Frank ruined that pretty face—

“Okay big guy, let's go!” Steve apparently notices his shift in mood and is quick to drag him off.

David half-heartedly tries to protest but Steve isn’t letting up, and David follows him to the treeline just to get him to shut up.

Steve finds some coconuts and David takes the opportunity to punch one as hard as he can, pretending it’s Frank’s face. His knuckles sting and will probably bruise but it’s worth it, the loud crunch as the shell splits open making him smirk smugly.

When they get back to the others, Steve carrying a lapful of coconuts and David flexing his sprained hand but otherwise successfully calmed down, the others seem to be faring better too. Dwight’s face is a lot less bloody and he’s smiling shakily to something Ace says while holding what has to be a cold towel to his nose. The Legion are huddled near their leader, who’s slowly bruising cheek seems to be making him pout. Even if Joey is holding back snickers, Susie is trying to encourage Frank and Julie is patting him on the back in solidarity, proving that despite their bickering, the group does seem to care for each other.

“Hey, Frank,” David suddenly catches Quentin’s voice and sees a smug smile on the teen’s lips from where he’s approaching the killers. “I bet you can't swim.”

“Can too!” the gang’s leader says, predictably taking the bait and his pout immediately replaced by a defiant smirk. “Wanna race?”

When Quentin just clicks his tongue, pretending to be in thought, David knows Frank is in for a humiliation.

“Sure,” Quentin says, not giving anything away.

David eagerly waits for the two to get in position, a little jealous of how readily they get into the cold ocean water with barely a shiver. Steve gives a countdown, and then they’re off, Quentin effortlessly taking the lead and Frank falling further and further behind.

David doesn't feel the slightest bit bad for laughing, eager for the bastard to get any form of payback. Sadly, it doesn't really have the same impact when the rest of the Legion join in to make fun of their leader.

“You go, Franky!” Julie fake cheers between wheezes.

“Nice doggy paddle!” Joey laughs.

“You can still beat him! …If he drowns?” Susie tries to encourage.

After the race, Steve asks David for his help with cracking the coconuts, and even though David really just wants to talk to Dwight he can’t help but puff up his chest and flex a little from the teen obviously seeing him as the strongest of the group.

Later, the sun is already starting to set and David’s knuckles are even more bruised than before. The pain doesn’t bother him and the physical strain of the day has made him mellow out more than usual. When he notices Dwight sitting by himself by the shoreline, he finally gathers the courage to go talk to the man alone.

It looks like a day in the sun has done wonders for the group, lazy chatter and quiet laughter coming from friend and foe alike, scattered around the beach.

The girls have apparently ended up hanging out with Ace, Susie even wearing the gambler’s ugly shirt to protect herself from the now chilly ocean breeze.

“—and the Oktoberfest outfit, with the undercut? Swoon,” Julie says, doing a fake fainting motion into Susie’s lap, and Ace laughs and Susie giggles and bloody hell, are they still talking about Felix?

A bit further away, Steve and Joey are passing the volley ball in good camaraderie. David catches the end of a silly joke from Steve followed by snorting laughter from Joey, and it does kind of make sense that they’d befriend each other.

In the water, Quentin is still swimming while Frank lounges in the swim ring, taunting him. That is, until Quentin flips the ring and laughs, and Frank splutters and flails and hangs onto it like a lifeline.

David finally reaches Dwight, who doesn’t seem to notice him arriving, staring out over the horizon and looking to be deep in thought.

“Hey,” David makes his presence known, and as soon as those gorgeous brown eyes turn to look at him in surprise, the stupid nerves at the pit of David’s stomach resurface.

“Hi,” Dwight says with a small, tired smile. “Has everyone finally calmed down?”

A pang of guilt shoots through David’s chest at the words, recognizing his own part in creating most of the drama of the day. If he’d behaved himself, maybe Dwight wouldn’t have ended up hurt.

“Yeah,” David says, offering an apologetic grin. “Everyone seems ta be gettin’ along. Never thought I’d see the day we’d be hangin’ out with killers.”

“Hmm,” Dwight hums in though, turning back to watch the sunset. “Some of them are not that different from us.”

Seeing Dwight so calm and rational, David feels even worse for his numerous temper tantrums. He just wanted to protect Dwight.

“’M sorry ‘bout yer nose,” David sighs as he sits down next to the man.

“You didn’t do anything,” Dwight reassures. “I was just… wrong place, wrong time.”

“If I didn’t egg the wank—Frank on, it wouldn’t ‘a happened,” David argues, doing his best to swallow his resentment for the teen in question.

“It’s okay,” Dwight says, offering him a genuine smile. “I know you were just trying to stick up for us.”

David wants to come clean, to say everything he did was for Dwight, even if it only made things worse in the end. But no matter how much of a bravado he usually puts on, David knows he’s a real fucking pussy when it comes to emotions.

“Yeah,” he agrees like an utter coward.

“Thank you,” Dwight says anyway, smiling serenely like the absolute angel that he is, ready to forgive all of David’s dumb mistakes.

It suddenly hits him that Dwight always seems way more calm when they’re alone together, a stark contrast to him fidgeting and tripping over his words when they’re in a group and he’s put on the spot. Conversely, David’s confidence seems to fly out of the window as soon as he’s left alone with Dwight, desperately trying to appear casual while his heart does its best to beat out of his chest.

For some reason, Dwight enjoys and maybe even thrives in his company, and David in turn has never met anyone so understanding of his anger issues. He knows they’d be so good for each other—

Fuck it.

“Actually,” David starts, swallowing a lump in his throat but forcing himself to push through the embarrassment. “I didn’t do it fer them. I wanted to protect you.”

Dwight’s cute face twists in confusion, and David tries his best to keep unwavering eye contact despite wanting nothing more than to run away from the situation and his feelings.

“Oh,” Dwight finally says, and David thinks he catches the beginning of a blush before he averts his eyes. “I guess I am kinda weak, haha.”

“The hell ya are,” David argues. Damn, that’s not what he was going for at all, why is he so fucking bad at this— “Yer smart and determined an’ I really admire that about ya. Yer the best leader we could’a asked for, an’ even though ya don’t need protectin’, I just…”

David falters. He was doing so well, even managing to not put his foot in his mouth, but this is it. If he confesses his feelings, there’s no going back.

He looks up and meets Dwight’s eyes, and as soon as he sees the man who stole his heart look up at him with such blatant hope, he knows he has to try.

“I just care about ya,” he settles on.

Dwight swallows and his eyes search David’s face, and David doesn’t even dare breathe—

“Like… like a friend…?” Dwight croaks out, his voice now unsure and shaky, but he’s not looking away.

“Nah,” David says, shaking his head for emphasis. “Never saw ya as just a mate.”

Dwight’s cheeks flare red and he ducks his head, but David catches the dopey little grin before it disappears from his view.

“I—um, wow,” Dwight chuckles, fidgeting with his hands and not quite seeming to know how to react.

“Whaddaya say, luv?” David pushes, resisting the urge to pull the adorable geek into his arms and snog him silly. “Wanna do this?”

Fuck, hopefully he’s not being too forward. Dwight doesn’t seem like the type to have had plenty of relationship experience, but then again neither has David. Usually, he only had to flex a bit after one of his fights and wait for a bird or bloke to stroll up and make it clear they fancied him.

But those were easier times, and now he’s in a strange world within another dimension with a ragtag group of friends and confessing to a man he’s fallen for harder than he ever thought possible.

“Of course I want to do this,” Dwight mutters, sounding almost offended as he finally looks up at him with a smile. “I just never thought you’d go for someone like me.”

“Wha’, someone as perfect as you?” David smirks, nudging Dwight in the ribs with his elbow and causing a cute chuckle to escape the other’s lips. “Don’t sell yourself short, luv; I got high standards.”

“If you say so,” Dwight relents.

Despite Dwight self-consciously covering the cute rolls on his tummy with his arms, his smile is the brightest David has ever seen. They stare into each other’s eyes in silence, David with a dumb grin and Dwight with a bashful smile, and David feels so stupid that he didn’t see it before.

“Gonna give me a kiss?” David’s mouth says without his permission, the filter between his mouth and brain even more flimsy than usual because of the fluttering in his gut.

“I m-mean, my face is pretty busted up," Dwight stutters and turns his face away. “You probably don’t want to—I look even worse than usual, haha.”

“Bollocks,” David scoffs, leaning to nudge his forehead against Dwight’s temple. “Yer the cutest thing I ever seen.”

Dwight glances at him but still looks unsure, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth in a nervous habit.

“We don’t gotta if ya don’t wanna,” David reassures. “But don’t hold back on my behalf—”

And that’s all he has time to say before a surprisingly eager mouth crashes against his own, the rest of his sentence muffled against Dwight’s lips.

Wholeheartedly on board with the sudden turn of events, David’s arms wrap around Dwight as of their own accord while he hurries to reciprocate. Dwight’s lips are chapped but so incredibly warm, and the enthusiasm with which he goes at it is making David’s heart swell—

“Shit,” there’s a pained hiss against his lips when Dwight tilts his head and bumps their noses together.

“Easy, luv,” David murmurs, tilting his head at more of an angle to avoid Dwight’s injury. He gently coaxes the inviting lips right back in and Dwight makes a sound of approval low in his throat.

Every fantasy David has had about this moment can’t compare to the real deal. Granted, his imagination has always been kind of shit, and there was no way he could have pictured just how amazing it is to kiss Dwight and how perfect he feels in David’s arms. He tastes a tinge of blood when he licks into Dwight’s mouth, but it doesn’t bother him in the slightest, if anything it just eggs him on—

A loud wolf whistle carrying over the beach suddenly reminds him that they’re not alone.

Dwight pulls away much faster than David, turning to face their companions with a sheepish grin and a deep flush, while David lazily turns around to glower at the group.

Steve is still whistling from where he’s joined Ace and the girls, not threatened by David in the slightest. Then, to his annoyance, Julie starts clapping sarcastically and Susie hides her giggles into her friend’s shoulder.

“Ugh, finally!” Ace comments, throwing his hands up in mock exasperation, making David redirect his glare to the gambler.

“What,” David barely hears Quentin’s incredulous voice mutter nearby, still swimming with Frank and with Joey now having joined them.

“Uh. Congrats,” Joey offers, giving them an awkward thumbs up.

Frank, predictably, says nothing, only scoffing in disgust. Which, to be honest, is much more polite than David would have reacted if the roles were reversed.

“What are you—when did you—?” Quentin keeps going, looking so confused it makes even David snort out a half-laugh.

“Well, at least someone didn’t figure it out before these two idiots,” Ace sighs melodramatically.

“Seriously, doesn’t take a genius to notice them eye fucking each other all the time,” Steve grins, and holy hell, David really has been living under a rock if even Steve had figured out Dwight’s feelings before him.

He tunes out the others’ teasing as soon as a warm hand gently grabs his.

“Come on,” Dwight encourages with a playful smile. “Let’s go get it over with.”

His mood instantly elevating, David pulls them to their feet and rejoins their friends with his hand still clasped in Dwight’s. There’s some good-natured banter on their expense but that’s to be expected, and even though David half-heartedly threatens to clock Ace in the face for a questionable joke, he feels calmer than he has in years.

Dwight doesn’t leave his side for the entirety of their remaining time on the beach or when they’re teleported back to the campfire. And even if they have to go through the playful teasing and looks of disbelief a second time, David takes it in stride because he has the person he always wanted right by his side.

It takes way too long to get a moment alone from their nosy friends, but eventually, David manages to pull Dwight away from the camp to pick up where they left off at the beach, this time uninterrupted.

When Dwight breaks the kiss only to look up at David, with his bruised nose and some wetness in his eyes, murmuring that this is the best day of his life, David can’t help but agree.

[hoesidon]

Alrighty so since I’m bored let’s talk about a single dads au lmao:

The PJO/HoO boys have one of those dad groups where dads just get together while their kids play together and they just hang out and talk shit and drink juice boxes

Meet the ‘Hot Single Dads’ group:

Percy Jackson: the laidback and relaxed dad who the other dads sort of look to for advice because he seems to know what the fuck he’s doing. Juniper calls him a living miracle because he can get any screaming child to calm down in minutes. Has an eight year old son named Theo with an ex college girlfriend. Pining hard after Jason. Coaches his son’s swim team. Moms (and dads) love him. Teachers have a love hate relationship with him

Grover Underwood: the Epitome of the Stay At Home Dad. He’s got all the healthy snacks and a first aid kit on him at all times. Panics when his kid eats sand. Father to Willow (9), Nova (6), and Ash (2). Husband to Juniper. Allowed in the Hot Single Dads group because he’s Percy’s best friend since middle school and he’s got a lot of common sense and he’s great with kids. He’s also the one who tries to plan out meeting days around everyone’s busy schedules. Grover is the king of diy and crafts, and all the kids love him. All the neighborhood kids make Grover flower crowns during the summer and he'll wear them as long as he can before adding it to the collection of crafts kids have made him in his room

Frank Zhang: a nervous new dad fresh out of college who asks a lot of questions and has a lot of concerns. Has a four month old daughter named Anya with his best friend and ex-girlfriend Hazel. They met in high school and were best friends but didn’t date until college. But soon after realized they were better off as friends. Doesn’t go anywhere without Anya strapped to his chest. Works as a firefighter with Percy.

Nico di Angelo: not a dad yet because he’s in the process of adopting but hangs out with the group for advice and tips. The kids love him because he’s like their fun uncle. Accidentally got roped into babysitting Theo for a night once and realized he’s actually really great with kids and decided he wanted to adopt.

Leo Valdez: the dad who just does not give a fuck and also the fun dad. His kids eating a Cheeto they found in the sand? Shit happens. His twin boys, Mieczysław and Salvador (7), are menaces. Doesn’t like to show it but is constantly stressed out and worries that he’s not enough for his boys and wonders if he’s doing the right thing. He’s that one crazy wild friend from college you’re shocked to find out years later that they have a child. Leo is the one who introduces Jason to the group.

Jason Grace: new to the group as a newly single dad who’s worried he’s not enough. Has an eight year old son and a five year old daughter. Pining hard after Percy. Coaches his son’s baseball team. Moms (and dads) also love him. PTA Dad. The Mom™ friend turned Dad. Always has snacks, wet wipes, and hand sanitizer on hand. If you need anything, anything at all, there’s a 98% chance that Jason has it on hand. Shares joint-custody with his ex-wife and best friend Piper.

After his divorce from his ex-wife, Leo tells Jason about this Dad Support Group he’s in and that he should accompany him to their next meeting with the kids

Jason is skeptical at first but decides what’s the harm in going to one meeting

He wasn’t expecting to fall hopelessly in love at first sight with one of the other dads

“It’s Percy isn’t it? Can’t say I blame you. He’s got the looks of a Greek God.”

Leo teases him immensely for it and gives Jason a knowing look every time he catches him looking at Percy

Percy is a Terrible flirt

“So you coach your son’s baseball team? That’s great! Theo loves baseball.” “Dad I hate baseball.”

Grover likes to tease Percy for it but Percy reminds him that it took him two years just to gain the courage to hold Juniper’s hand

Aside from pining, Jason enjoys hanging out with the boys

He and Nico hit it off quite nicely. He also enjoys teasing Leo about his not-so-secret crush on Nico

He and Frank become workout buddies

Percy tried to join them on their workout days after Annabeth said he had the beginnings of a Dad Bod forming but between work, coaching Theo’s swim team and keeping up with his other long list of extracurricular activities, he just doesn’t have the time

He’s learning to embrace his Dad Bod

Grover has fully embraced the Dad Bod

Grover and Frank get along a lot because they’re both sorta nervous dads who worry about their kids a lot

And so Frank usually goes to Grover for all of his questions like “is this normal?” “She bumped her head is she okay?” “What can I do for this??”

And Grover gives him all sorts of advice and healthy snacks

Jason and Percy’s boys are competitive little buttwipes and are always getting into fights

“I bet I can run faster than you.” “I bet I can kick this ball farther than you.” “I bet I can swing higher than you.” “I bet I can study faster than you.”

Percy settles their arguments by getting in-between them, hauls his son over his shoulder, and brings him to the side and calmly talks to him in a low voice

Jason just watches like “Damn that shouldn’t have been that hot” before he realizes he probably should have a word with his son as well

Unfortunately for Jason he’s hopelessly in love and he’s like 99.9% sure Percy is dating Annabeth

Everyone thinks that Percy's in a relationship with Annabeth because they’re so close and she loves his kid

It also doesn’t help that Theo refers to Annabeth as ‘Mom’

So Jason just has to pine away and being the child he is, pulls at Percy's pigtails cause he can't deal with his crush

Frank decides to throw a fourth of July BBQ and Annabeth comes and Jason is trying to make conversation

Jason thinks he’s subtle but he’s not. 

“Your son Theo is a very charming boy, very polite. You must be very proud.” “Theo isn’t my son.” “Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you his step mom?” “No. Godmother.”

Annabeth laughs at Jason’s confused face and goes “If I was looking for a romantic partner maybe but nah. Percy and I are just best friends. I babysit Theo a lot.” (She’s hella ace and aro)

It’s obvious that he likes Percy

And Percy being Percy, he can't see it

One night like a month before the BBQ, he’s over at Annabeth's drinking and lamenting about this beautiful blond dad(dy) who Leo introduced to their Hot Single Dads group who's "literally captain America Annabeth, I swear I would go to war for that ass"

Annabeth recruits Reyna and Rachel to help her get these two idiots together

Side plot, Nico's surprisingly good with kids, especially Leo's twin terrors, and they get together cause the twins Conspire™ and Plot™ to do so

Cue many Hallmark movie shenanigans

Nico is one of the only one who’s can actually get the little devils to listen and behave. Leo is in awe and in love.

Leo gets asked about his sons’ names a lot

Leo: “Those two little demons playing on the monkey bars are mine. Mischief and Managed.” Frank: “...you named your sons Mischief and Managed?” Leo: “No, of course not. That’s just what they like to be called.”

Calypso is half Greek and half Polish and wanted to name Mieczysław after her grandfather. Unfortunately Mieczysław could never quite pronounce his name correctly so he goes by Mischief instead

Calypso also wanted to name Salvador after a character from Game of Thrones but Leo had to draw the line at Drogon. He already agreed to Mieczysław, he wasn’t naming his son Daenerys or Drogon

And since the twins are really into Harry Potter and Mieczysław goes by Mischief, Sal likes to go by Managed

Percy originally created Struggling Dads (Leo later changed the name to ‘Hot Single Dads Who Are Also Fortunately Not Heterosexual’) so his son could learn how to socialize and hopefully make some friends. He immediately regretted everything once he met Leo’s twin terrors

The children basically make up the Marauders irl

[stfuisaac]

hello hello it’s lucky again and,, sadly,, we don’t have the technology that makes the thoughts we have just.... appear onto our screens yet... so this took a hot sec and still isn’t perfect bc i don’t plan on proofreading :\ but! here,, is,, my new,, drummer boy,, parumpumpumpum

‹ avan jogia, he/him, cis man, bisexual. › ISAAC BAROT is the TWENTY-SEVEN year old from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ I HEARD THIS IS WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE. ❞ they claim GET OUT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would BE OBLIVIOUS TO THERE EVEN BEING A KILLER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. their fears include MANNEQUINS, HITCH-HIKERS and DYING WITH NOTHING TO SHOW, and they don’t know we know, but… HE GOT INTO A (MUTUALLY) NEAR FATAL ALTERCATION WITH A STRANGER HE GAVE A RIDE TO (YES, HE WAS AN UBER DRIVER - HIS GREATEST SHAME). hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ PLATANCHOR requested by JOAKIM from STRESSED OUT penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: isaac benjamin barot

date of birth: september 12, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: virgo sun, taurus moon, libra rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: session drummer + lyft driver + ex-uber driver

mbti: entp

enneagram: 5w6

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “deja vu” - roger waters

BACKGROUND INFO:

alright. so.

isaac's backstory is neither tragic nor easy. his father was an immigrant who married his mother solely to get a green card (y’all, to be fair... the citizenship tests are whack). there wasn’t any real romance between the two, but the drop-ins always said otherwise. no, outside of putting on a show for government officials, isaac’s father and mother were friends at the best of times.

the best of times culminated in a son who grew up in an interesting dynamic. his father and mother never even attempted to be anything more than friends (with, as you can see, the occasional benefits). after the check-ins finally stopped, his father and mother even began sleeping in different rooms. his mother would trade in her queen for a double and replace the space his father used to take up with his cradle.

it was nothing like the ‘unhappy marriage’ trope, though... again, because they barely ever pretended to be married. they would take their wedding rings off when they went out with friends. sometimes they would even take off their rings around each other and talk the other up to someone attractive.

so it was unorthodox, but it was much better than his parents pretending to be in love in that way and giving him a skewed version of what romance should look like.

one down-side to it, though, was that isaac never knew who he was supposed to go to for what. usually it’s just a given that “if you need/want x, go to the matriarch, if you need/want y, go to the patriarch” but... what happens... when your parents are basically just your friends?

so thank god for growing up in the age of technology. like,, ya,, a literal baby can’t google things like “how to say ‘mom’” but a 15y/o can google “how to shave”

so... ya... his parents were his friends, the internet was his parent(s?).

one thing the internet couldn’t do? give him drums. it could introduce him to the likes of ringo starr, john bonham, keith moon, and ginger baker, but it couldn’t give him drums... not when he was only, like... 10, at least.

so he put a set on his christmas wishlist and figured they would divide amongst themselves.

so ya, his 10th christmas, he got a shitty little rockwood hohner kit that he would use for the next nine years.

he never received any professional training. again, he didn’t know who to ask and... youtube wouldn’t exist for another three years. he tried to teach himself using a few books and, if nothing else, figured out a few simple beats and how to gain independence.

after learning those simple little beats and not knowing if he wanted to buy the next book, he decided to take a break and, instead of going back to professional books, he’d just listen to some of his favorite tracks... most of which were ginger baker... which made things kind of hard when he only had one bass drum, two tom-toms, and one floor tom. those, plus the really low quality pearl cymbals. still, he did his best to make it work.

just a side-note that, because of videos of ginger, isaac used (and still uses, out of habit) a mix of traditional and matched grip.

he went back and forth between the books and mimicking the patterns of other drummers (mostly ginger) up until he was around 16 and his friend, ribs (y’all), decided to teach him a few more technical skills. what you want to learn for this song are polyrhythms, but those are hard and no, ginger isn’t using a crash there, he’s using a splash and do you want a discount on some better cymbals and drumheads from my parents’s music shop because this is a very functional kit but it kind of sounds whack

he continued using the same whack kit, but replaced the heads with aquarians, as per ribs’s recommendation (but evans and remo are also good) and, after literally examining baker’s kit, replaced the cymbals with various zildjian collections

even though we stan istanbul agop in this house.

he also started listening to more drummers than... pretty much just baker with a hint of john bonham, keith moon, and ringo starr. as his friend suggested, he tried out drummers like buddy rich, art blakey, travis barker, dave grohl, karen carpenter, neil peart, nick mason, simon phillips –– even was told to listen to ac/dc songs just to see how a successful band could be made using essentially the same beat over and over and over.

so now he had some split time. school. work. practice. figure out who the hell was making dinner that night/if there was someone making dinner last night because they might both be talking each other up.

although he applied to various colleges, and although some of these colleges actually accepted him, he ultimately decided not to go. instead, he moved from san jose to los angeles in the hopes that he’d find something bigger than himself... and a new drum set...

he found the latter in a ludwig kit with two bass drums, two tom-toms, and two floor toms. then he just added a bunch of stuff and tried to make it like ginger baker’s. pretty much spent all of his money on it and then some.

when his friends formed a band and found success, he was very very happy for them... but... he found himself stuck... driving ubers.

and lyfts!

he’d seen the twilight zone before. he loved that show. he’d seen the episode ‘the hitch-hiker,’ so he was really driving for the companies against his better judgment. 

his worst uber story? the time a guy got into the car, had pinged a location that was still marked as a store on the uber gps but had recently been torn down, and tried to attack him when they got there :\ he 110% fought back, though. was fired because the other guy was the one who made it out injured.

only drove for lyft after that :\

he did take on a few projects, but he... proved to be too much of a roger waters for people who just wanted to chill and have fun. there would be adverts for people who wanted to form a band and he’d be like “hell yeah! finally! a band!” then he’d get pissed that they advertised it so seriously but really... just wanted to jam. did not have any plans to try to do anything with it.

the few projects he did join that involved people who wanted to actually achieve success... if they were slacking, you best bet his inner roger waters came out! which is why he never stuck around in any projects for too long!

but ‘projects’ and ‘jam sessions’ were totally different. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a project? he’s gonna take that intro that literally everyone on the planet knows SERIOUSLY. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a jam session? LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

he does some session/studio drumming for other artists to make some extra money while doing something he genuinely enjoys... but... still... it is no project™

in between things right now, he got a call from joakim that, while muffled and staticky, sounded like it said ‘get here, please’ and clearly stated where he was.

of course, voicemail lines were crossed and many many many essential words were left out – words that were basically saying the exact opposite ahfsdkjl. the shadow’s really playin them :\

so here he is, in all his glory.

TL;DR:

i was gonna kms if i didn’t play another drummer, so this is my ginger baker fanboy whose parents were literally just best friends and, as a result, were also both his friend. the internet raised him. started playing drums when he was 10 on a low qual kit with low qual cymbals that his parents got him for christmas, but literally why would you get a beginning a good set? continued playing. eventually moved to los angeles and tried to form many successful projects, but was too much of a roger waters. was summoned up here by the shadow man fucking around joakim. his greatest shame is how many ubers he has driven.

PERSONALITY INFO:

he will always say his proudest moment was when he learned how to play ‘toad’ by ginger baker cream all the way through.

big ginger baker fanboy.

loves the twilight zone and will just spill a random fact out about it every now and again.

a lowkey control freak which completely goes against the way he dresses and the vibe he gives off. 

is only a dick about it if you’re part of one of his ‘projects’ but aren’t taking it seriously tho :\

ok i’m too tired 2 write a personality section rn when im already rly bad at them but!! again!! feel free 2 j refer to the zodiac big three + the personality types!!

FEARS:

mannequins: they’re already creepy enough when you really think about it, then you add in that episode of the twilight zone where the characters wake up in an unfamiliar house and go outside and basically everyone is just a mannequin? ya he hates mannequins.

hitch-hikers: so, as we have just seen, he’s had it bad enough with people who were registered to an app, paying, their personal information readily available, etc., etc... so then what would happen if it was just a complete and utter stranger who didn’t have any personal information, any ping, and was the sole focus of a different twilight zone episode? he... is going... to drive past you. he’ll feel bad about it, but...

dying with nothing to show: here’s the money shot! here’s the deep fear! as has been shown throughout, isaac craves success and some form of a legacy. if he dies with nothing to show for his life, then was his life ever worth it in general?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, it might be bc im tired rn,,, but i have the most basic list that will hopefully be updated tomorrow bc it is SO VERY BASIC:

friends

fwb

ons

exes

enemies (much easier to get on his bad side than it is w/ fluke)

BRAINSTORMING AND/OR SOMETHING FROM YOUR WANTED CONNECTIONS AND/OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR!!!!

[monster-alien-chode]

“You know it’s Wednesday right?”

Pairing: Fem!Reader X Peter Parker and Daughter!Reader X Tony Stark

Summery:  When the reader is in a lot of bad relationships it takes Peter Parker catching her half naked in her room to realise why she would subject herself to these bad guys. Also day of the week underwear...

Warnings: A few curse words...also I misspelled underwear multiple times sooooo thats a thing... also it might suck but Oof who cares?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being Tony Stark’s daughter made you genetically entitled to certain aspects of your personality, like your extreme intelligents along with your wits. You’re filled to the brim with comebacks and sarcastic remarks just as a birthright. But even with all the riches and fame that came with your name you still managed to be incredibly kind and humble. But somehow you had the absolute worst taste in boys (yes boys because they were certainly not men). Somewhere deep in your messed up brain you had convinced yourself that you didn’t deserve nice guys, but even deeper in your brain you knew that it was a way for your dad to notice you more. Yes of course he was proud of you and loved you like no other but he was a busy man, and of course you understood;I mean saving the planet on multiple occasions was time consuming. But, he would always be to deep in his work to take time for you, he missed a lot of special occasions in your life. Like your first day at midtown (he didn’t even say goodbye before you left or wish you good luck). You had always been homeschooled because Tony wanted to ensure you got the best possible education, but he knew you needed to be properly socialized and have friends that were your age and not super soldiers. He would make up for it with expensive gifts, but nothing beat spending time with the old man.

You had been going to midtown for at least a year now and you were part way through your sophmore year. You fit in very well with the other students, you easily fell in with the popular crowd with your charisma and beauty, and thankfully not for your last name you enrolled under a completely different last name, people just thought it was a coincidence that you looked like the famous (y/n) Stark. But even with rolling with the cool kids you were never rude like some of them were to other students. Like how Flash was rude to Peter Parker, you always stood up for Peter through Flash’s torments. You and Peter we’re good friends, you of course had figured out his secret identity from your father, but before that you were good friends from Academic Decathlon and you were really good study buddies. You weren't the type to be ashamed of friendships so you made it appoint to express your friendship with your particular crowd so they know not to pick on him when you’re around. With riding with the popular crowd, and having a bad taste in boys, you had a bountiful amount of boys to choose from.

Since arriving at midtown you’ve dated five guys,including your current boyfriend. First way, Brett the bad boy, he had a motorcycle that your father hated but he never expressed concern because he thought you were happy. Also, Chad the fuck boy who only cared about trying to sleep with you, you being the strong powerful woman you are ended that relationship quickly. Next was Charlie the heartbreaker, sure he seemed nice enough and you really liked him, you even both said you loved each other, but he cheated on you with multiple girls and left you heartbroken, he was the longest relationship you ever had. Peter being the sweetest guy ever came by and was your shoulder to cry on, which was the first time you had ever cried in front of someone ever. After Charlie you didn’t date for awhile at least until halfway through the summer before sophomore year. That’s when you met Ethan the extortionist, he seemed so sweet, but then again they all do, he only wanted to date you because you were a stark and knew the avengers. Now you were a very smart girl but as some might say you were quite stupid with love so you didn’t notice the blatentness of him trying to obtain what you had, but once you finally did you were quick to dump him. Rightnow you were dating Harry, he was extremely attractive but also very possessive and insecure, he did not like the fact that you had any guy friends at all but that never stopped you from continuing to talk to Peter.

Little did you know that Peter had a massive sized crush on you. He loved the way you talked about anything and everything, especially the things you were passionate about. He loved when you snorted a little when you laughed to hard, or how you were popular but never were ashamed of your friendship with him. Peter also loved when you guys were studying and you would get so frustrated with sitting for so long and force him to have a dance party with you. He loved how happy you’d get when you would ace a test or win a round in Academic Decathlon. Or the way your (y/e/c) eyes would shine with glee all the time. Peter loved everything about you, well except for one thing, your boyfriends. Peter hated them, they were all total douchebags and either only liked you for your money, that is if they knew you were a stark, or they only thought you were some pretty face that they thought they could sleep with or manipulate. But you were so much more than that because yes, you were pretty but you were so smart and funny too and a big geek. He was there during every start and end of the relationships, you cried on his very shoulder after you found out Charlie cheated on you. But Harry was one of the worst boyfriends ever, he was violent and possessive and very much didn’t like Peter. But he was glad that you never backed down to Harry and continued to be his friend.

At this point you and Harry had been dating for one month so nothing to serious has happened yet except kissing but that seemed like preschool stuff to you at this point. Harry and you were hanging in your room at the tower watching Parks and Rec one of your favorite shows, Harry didn't really get the jokes but you didn't care. You had invited peter over to study later but after you assumed Harry would be gone. Peter would be arriving in the next thirty minutes or so you turned to Harry.

“Hey…so I have a family thing in about thirty minutes so you might need to get going in a bit.” you said giving his hand a squeeze.

“Yeah sure babe, i’ll get going here in a second, i just need to go to the bathroom real quick.” Harry said kissing your cheek.

When Harry had to go to the bathroom ‘real quick’ it differently did not mean ‘real quick’ it would definitely take a while. So you took this opportunity to change into more comfortable clothes comparatively to your school clothes. You knew it wouldn't look like you had a family thing but Harry wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, so you didn’t really care. You began stripping from your clothes before you went to find your clothes to change into. You looked down to see that you were wearing mismatched underwear, not that you necessarily tried to match, it just these exact pairs were quite strange. First a bra from a long time ago, still cute thought, and secondly, days of the week lacy underwear that was for monday, which was definitely not the day today. You laughed at the haphazard dressing skills you had especially when it was around laundry day. You were fishing around for clothes when a knock came at the door.

“Who is it?” You asked absent minded.

“Peter!” Peter yelled back from the other side of the door.

“Come in!” You said without another thought, of your current state of nakedness.

“Sorry i’m early bu-AH!” Peter said coming in when he noticed you half naked in your room, he quickly cover his eyes and turned around being the gentleman he was but not before looking at your figure, he couldn’t help how his hormones took control. He took notice of how your underwear read “monday” when it was in fact a Wednesday.

“What is it Pete?” You said worried at his scream, before realizing that you were just standing around half naked.

Peter was still turned around and you walked up to him, still naked and started apologizing.

“Oh Peter i’m so sorry i totally forgot i was in the middle of changing and i just heard your name so i just let you in without even thinking, oh i’m just so sorry!” You said touching his shoulder.

“What is going on! What is that dip whad doing here babe! Also why the fuck are you half naked!” Harry started yelling

You turned to him and began explaining what was happening so fast, but about three seconds into your explanations he totally decked peter with a punch, and continued to punch him. You were utterly shocked by his actions, you quickly came to your senses and tried to get him off Peter, yelling at him to stop.

“Harry! Get off him!!” You screamed in desperation.

Harry finally stops and gets up from the ground.

“ (Y/N) I told you to stop hanging out with this, this nerd! I can’t believe you let him see you like that, your mine and no one else’s so you better stop seeing him if you want to be with me!” Harry yelled at you.

“I’m not your property Harry! You don’t get to dictate my life and tell me who i can and can’t be friend with Harry! Oh incase you haven’t noticed i’m a nerd too! I would never change myself, my interests, or my friends for anyone! So if you can’t except that then we’re over!” You yelled right back with even more fury than him.

“Actually,” you started again, “I think you and your toxic masculinity, insecurities, and possessiveness and leave my life! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” You yelled

Harry left out a huff and left the room and stormed out of the tour.

“Are you alright Peter, i’m so sorry, I’ll clean you up i’m so, so, so, so sorry!” You say as you move to get a first aid kit.

You began addressing his wounds and cleaning his face with a wet towel and alcohol, putting your dads favorite hello kitty band-aids on the cut on his cheek. Peter didn’t look at you while you did this, it wasn’t required of him to do this it was just odd behavior for him. Another piece of odd behavior was how he didn’t fight back, he was 100% stronger than Brett being spider-man and all, so he could have easily win the fight.

“Riddle me this Spider-man, you are incredible strong, i mean you stopped a bus with your bare hands, well i guess gloved in that instance, and yet you didn’t even try to hit Harry back? Why is that? Also why aren’t you looking at me?” You questioned Peter while you placed another band-aid on his face.

Peter blushed slightly at the mention of his alter ego, along with the fact that you just called him strong, “Well i’m not looking at you because you are still half naked (y/n),” you giggled at the first half of his response and quickly apologized before putting on a crewneck and shorts to later study in. “and I didn't want to throw a punch because I didn’t want you to think of me like the violent type.” Peter said now looking at you dressed.

“I’m sorry Harry was such a jerk, i should have realized sooner and broken up with him, he didn’t like Parks and Rec so that should have been my first sign.” You said laughing a little at your last comment

“How does he not like that show it's the bomb!” Peter said with a smile.

“I know right!” You smile back basking in the happy moment and laughs that filled the air.

“But why do you date these jerks anyway? You’re so smart and funny and amazing and beautiful you deserve someone way better then them.” Peter said

You smiled at the praise he offered you, “You really think i’m all of those things Peter,” he nodded intensely sitting up to sit beside you on the ground, “Well i don't know why i date them, but yeah i guess they have all been jerks, i guess being the daughter of Tony Stark really puts a target on my back for being used, i don’t really know Peter I don’t think nice guys like me” You say sighing. All your reasonings weren’t that valid but you didn’t want to tell Peter the real reason.

Peter tried to fight his brain into not admitting his feeling for you right in that moment because of how bad the timing was with you just breaking up with Harry, but Peter lost that battle and blurted out, “I like you! And i’m pretty nice… i think. And not just like you like a friend but, like you like you, god how many times have i said like.” Peter awkwardly stuttered out in the cutest way.

“And I know it’s bad timing in all to tell you that (y/n), and it's totally ok if you don't feel the same, oh go i hope i didn’t mess up our friendship...i probably did, oh god (y/n) just forget i said anything. But you’re still amazing and deserve the best.” Peter rambled as you watched him with admiration as he told you how he felt.

He continued to ramble before you try to interrupt.

“Peter…”You said, he continued, “PETER!” you said louder grabbing his attention.

“If you could stop rambling for a second, despite how adorable it is, i would be able to tell you that i like you too.” You said with a smile.

Peter looked wide eyed and stared at you with heart eyes. Then you leaned in a kissed him softly on the lips, he was shocked at first but quickly leaned into it and moved his lips along with yours. It lasted like this for awhile before you both had to pull away to take breath. You both looked into each others eyes lovingly.

“The real reason why i date bad guys is to get my Dad’s attention.” You said quickly

Peter looked at you before speaking, “Maybe you should talk to him about that,” He said and you nodded, “Plus the sooner you get back the sooner we can study, and makeout...but mainly makeout.” Peter said with a sudden burst of confidence. You laughed at his cockyness and threw a pillow at him.

“Ok i’m going to talk to to my dad, but i will be back” You say with wink over your shoulder.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Peter asks

“Yeah?” You saying turning around in the door frame in the doorframe.

“You know it’s Wednesday right?” Peter asks with a slight smirk.

“Uh, yeah why do you think i don’t…” You pause remembering your underwear.

You run up and hit him in the shoulder hard. He winces in pain.

“Owww! I can’t help it your butt was screaming at be that it was monday! I couldn’t not take a peek!i’m sorry!” Peter says laughing, you’re laughing too as you begin walking away towards the door again. You look over your shoulder catching Peter checking you out, he quickly becomes flustered and turns away from your gaze.

“I’ll be back soon cutie!” You call as you exit your room.

You walk around the tower heading toward your dad’s lab were you knew you could find him, working on another extension of the iron man suit or a new upgrade. You finally arrived at the doorway to the lab, you suck in a deep breath and sigh then continue to type in your specific lab code that granted you access. Of course you had your own code because you loved working on new tech in there all the time, or assisting Dr. Banner. The lab door unlocked, you pushed it open trying to quietly sneak into not scare your dad. But the loud rock music was blaring so remaining quite was unnecessary. You walked up to your dad’s work space, he noticed your movement and turned down the music.

“What’s up sugar plum? Jarvis told me that Harold walked out in quite the fit of rage” Tony said bringing back your old childhood nickname. As he looked in your eyes he could see that you were upset about something.

“His name is Harry, but that doesn’t even matter anymore because we broke up.” You said.

“Well good, i didn’t like that guy anyway, total douche.” Tony said with a smile, trying to make you feel better.

“Then why didn’t you say anything Dad!” You said getting more upset.

Tony is taken off guard by your sudden outburst toward him, “Well i thought you we’re happy with him and i wouldn’t want to impose on that for you sweetie.”

“No dad! I only date these jerks because i want your attention! I know that’s not a good reason, i just want you to take interest in my life! I know you’re busy saving the world and it seems selfish to ask but it would be nice to spend a little time with you!” You said with slight tears brimming in your eyes.

Tony pulled you into a big hug after you said this, you quickly relaxed into his hold of you.

“Of course i want to spend time with you (Y/N) i love you so much! And i will admit i get a little carried away my work.”Tony said with a smile

“A little?” You questioned with a laugh.

Tony laughed before he spoke, “How about every night we both agree to have a family dinner, and you can spend more time with me in the lab, i mean you’re smarter than me so i need all the help i can get in here!”

You smiled at his compliments of you before leaning out of the hug to look him in the eye to respond, “I would love that dad!”

You both hug again before you turn back out and say, “Oh i have to go I left Peter by himself in my room, and we need to study for our chem rest next thursday.”

“Oh! Speaking of the Spiderling i have a question for you.” Tony says with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah what is it?” You ask feigning innocence

“Why was he in your room while you were half naked?” Tony said chuckling but with a seriousness in his eyes.

“Uhhhhh... long story, but a total accident! I gotta go!!” You said running out of there as fast as possible.

“We’re not done with this conversation young lady!” Tony yells back at you as you run away.

You smile as you run knowing this would be a new begining with both Peter and your dad. You walked back into your room and planted a kiss on Peter’s lips, ready to jump into happily ever after. Now you will have dated six people in your life but needless to say that Peter was the last one you ever needed to date.

[chinigan]

WHOO BOY HERE WE GO

I was tagged by @game-of-grump What a cool dude y’all should go follow them

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people (THAT’S A LOT OF STATEMENTS)

The last: (1) drink: lemon lime water (drink that agua kids) (2) phone call: my mum like last week cause i lost her in town (3) text message: LMAO I don’t actually text much I’m p/ sure the last text I sent was in like july or something i do not remember (4) song you listened to: Imaginary Parties by Superfruit (Y’ALL IT’S SUCH A JAM LISTEN TO IT) (5) time you cried: sometime last week? or this week... whenever I posted about crying at the past 3 things I watched and that I bet I would cry at despicable me 3 (i didn’t) (6) dated somebody twice: I think once when I was like 16 so young and stupid and thought he deserved a second chance (LMAO NAH) (7)kissed someone and regretted it: Again, I was young and stupid (probably around 16-17 too) (8)have been cheated on: not that I’m aware of, never happened (9)lost someone special: Several.  (10)been depressed: since I was born till right this second lmao (11)gotten drunk and thrown up: uuuuuh sometime last year at uni (I remember nothing from that night to this day) (12) favourite colours to wear: Grey (13) Black (14) White (I’ll die for my minimalist aesthetic In The Last Year Have You: (15)made new friends: YES I’m such a slut for making new friends (16)fallen out of love: in terms of fake friends then yes (17)laughed until you cried: u ain’t laughing right if u ain’t crying while doing it (18)found out somebody was talking about you: probably (I’m oblivious to drama that involves me I only live for other peoples drama) (19)met somebody who changed you: probably I can’t think of any one specifically (20)found out who your friends are: my dragon age inquisition crew are the only squad I need now (21)kissed somebody on your Facebook list: yes (22)how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I have 125 facebook friends and I know every single one of them (23)do you have any pets: I HAVE A PERSIAN-TABBY CAT CALLED JASPER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM (24)do you want to change your name: every day. I do not like my name and am tired of a life time of people saying and spelling it wrong. (25)what did you do for your last birthday: threw a sick party with my house mates at uni (I GOT A PIÑATA AND EVERYTHING) (26)what time did you wake up: 9:30AM (27)what were you doing at midnight: playing dragon age inquisition (28)name something you can’t wait for: HALLOWEEN (29)when was the last time you saw your mom: 10 minutes ago (30)what are you listening to rn: this (on repeat because reasons) (31)have you ever talked to somebody named Tom: Buddy, have you ever talked to 4 Tom’s at once? Cause I have and it’s a wild ride (32)something that gets on your nerves: Fuckin.... shitty loud kids on planes/trains/any transport that is typically quiet (33)most visited website:  probably a tie between tumblr and youtube (34)hair color: black/grey fade (35)long or short hair: short af (36)do you have a crush on somebody: more like do I want to crush somebody (37)what do you like about yourself: my art cause FUCK if I haven’t improved so much from the shitty invader zim drawings I used to do in science class (38)piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but neeldlephobia got the better of me so they healed up (39)blood type: O something (I forgot if it’s neg or pos) (40)nickname: sket, foghorn (lovingly given by my uni housemates) (42)relationship status: taken (43)zodiac: taurus bby (44)pronouns: man idgaf u can refer to me as a potato for all I care lmao (45)favorite tv shows: literally anything with richard horvitz, rick and morty, Endeavor, it’s to late to think of any other but cartoons. (46)tattoos: 3!  (47)right or left handed: right handed (48)surgery: nope! (I’ve had a lumbar puncture tho (not surgery)) (49)piercing: none (50)sport: when I was younger... I used to be on a badminton team, netball team, hockey team, lacross team, I used to be so active (then video games happened) (51)vacation: in terms of where I’ve been? Italy, France, Egypt, Bahrain (I think thats it??? ? ? ?) (52)pair of trainers: do I own any??? no. I have skate shoes so close enough (53)eating: dark mint kit kat  (54)fav drink: Irn Bru (it’s in my blood) (55)what you’re up to: watching youtube shit posts cause fuck sleep (56)waiting for: the sweet embrace of death (57)want: more PS4 games but I’m poor (58)get married: LMAO NO (59) career: catch me in 2020 on the lead animator credits for minions 2 (I’m joking, but I do want to work for illumination) (60)hugs or kisses: hug me bitch (61)lips or eyes: eyes (62)shorter or taller: idgaf  (63)older or younger: eeeeehhhhh probably older if I really had to pick one (64)nice arms or stomach: arms (65)hook up or relationship: idc (66)troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (67)kissed a stranger: absolutely not (68)drank hard liquor: of course (69)lost glases/contact lenses: lost/broken/damaged glasses (70)turned someone down: yea (71)sex in the first date: NAH MAN U CAN’T BREAK THE ACE SPACE (72)broke someone’s heart: I have (I still feel bad about it) (73)had your heart broken: more than once (74)been arrested: nope (75)cried when someone died: like a bitch (76)fallen for a friend: yes Do You Believe In: (77)yourself: not really (78)miracles: sometimes (79)love at first sight: no (80) Santa Claus: of course (81) kiss on the first date: eeeehhh idk I’d judge that individually (82) angels: yes Other: (83)current best friends names: Sarah, Josh, Dan, Jak (84)eye color: hazel/green (85) favorite movie: animated: who framed roger rabbit (partially animated?) or the book of life non-animated: the pitch perfect seires (GIVE ME THE 3RD ONE ALREADY)

whooo boy that took a while

I don’t think I can tag 20 people so I’ll tag 10 and if you want to do it but haven’t been tagged this is me telling u to do it (but u don’t have to if you don’t want to! it’s a lot to work through: @i-love-my-corner @rottenplantt @markimoot @birdurer @insaincat @grumpykramer @avidaddy @avibang-bang @gigglygrumps @amirrorcalledthemoon 

[not-so-lonely-star]

(B)romance in the NHL

Summary: A viral article about Kent and Tater’s bromance sparks some confessions. Word Count: 3,700 Rating: G

  The music skips with an incoming text that Alexei ignores as he mixes his smoothie and hums along. Once he adds the last chunk of banana he slips the lid on the blender and turns it on. A few moments later he turns it off and the silence is jarring. Alexei walks over towards where his phone is laying on the counter, hoping his battery hasn't died yet again. His phone has been on the last leg of life for a couple weeks now, but he's too attached to it to change it in for a new one, no matter how much the rookies tease him. 

Alexei picks up the phone. It isn't dead. It buzzes incessantly in his hand as 20 messages turned to thirty with three missed calls and several voicemails. Alexei swipes in his password and scrolls down the list of names until he reaches the first message. It's from Kent. The first is a link with three messages in quick succession after.  

Kent (8:57 am): I didn't even notice them take this   Kent (8:57 am): It makes us look kind of gay... don't you think? Kent (8:58 am): Okay yeah other ppl think it's hella gay too wtf 

Alexei clicks on the link from the first text and his heart feels like it's beating out an erratic rhythm in his chest as he waits for it to load. Once it loads he breathes a sigh of relief, it's just the article about bromance in the NHL. A couple months ago he'd been contacted by Cosmo to participate alongside Kent in a best bros piece about cross team friendships in the NHL in an attempt to broaden the hockey audience. The concept was simple enough, they'd contacted a bunch of different hockey players with friendships well documented via social media and called them in to take pictures and give a short interview. 

Two weeks ago, once they were both free with plenty of time in the off season, he and Kent had flown out to LA and posed for a bunch of pictures together. Each pair of friends was photographed playing some sport other than hockey. 

Alexei knew Snowy and his buddy Kicker from the Schooners were doing water polo, because Snowy had complained to Alexei for a solid three days afterwards that it was 'the lamest of all polos'. Alexei and Kent had been given wrestling. The singlet they gave him was so small Alexei had popped into Kent's dressing room, certain that it was his - it wasn't. Kent's was tight and in aces black unlike the one Alexei was holding in falconer's blue.

Once they'd gotten dressed, after a lot of wiggling on Alexei's part, they'd been brought out to the set where a wrestling mat was set up and they were told how to pose. Most of it was fairly benign, Alexei pretending to have Kent in a headlock, Kent crouching to knock Alexei over, them standing together with arms slung around one another's shoulders, that sort of thing. After a couple hours of taking photos the woman in charge of the shoot, Shelly, stopped them.  

"Alright boys," she'd said, walking over towards them and shaking both their hands. "I think we've got a bunch of great shots here. So you can feel free to go ahead and get changed. We've got a few more photoshoots and interviews scheduled, but the article should be posted in a couple weeks so keep your eye out." She smiled at them before walking back to the photographer. "Thanks again for coming," she said over her shoulder at them, "It's been a pleasure." 

"Thank you," Kent had said, smiling, "it gives me an excuse to drag this lug out to LA finally." 

Alexei had rolled his eyes good naturedly, "I am telling Kent I been to LA many times before -" 

"Playing hockey and never leaving your hotel doesn't count." Kent smirked at him and before Alexei could even think about what he was doing he'd lifted Kent up and they'd both gone crashing down onto the mat. After grappling for a minute Alexei had ended up on his back staring up dazedly at Kent standing above him with his hand outstretched to help him up. 

Alexei puts his head in his hands as he stares down at the photo. He hadn't even realized that the cameras were still rolling while he and Kent were messing around. The picture was taken a moment after Alexei knocked them both to the mat. In it he's pinning Kent's arms above his head and his legs are straddling Kent's waist. Kent has a grin on his face, that's more smirk than smile, which at the time had Alexei's heart skipping a beat before returning in double time. Kent's left brow is raised in challenge, but it's Alexei's face coupled with their position that's incriminating. His eyes are soft, his smile joyous and it's obvious to anyone looking that he's in love. 

Alexei groans, and lets his head thunk down onto the cool counter. He hadn't realized he's been so transparent with his affection for Kent, if he had he never would've agreed to do the photoshoot together in the first place. Maybe no one else really noticed though, he thinks hopefully as he runs to get his laptop because his phone really is a piece of shit. 

His laptop boots up quickly and Alexei holds his breath as he googles his own name. Before he even finishes typing it autofills with Alexei Mashkov Kent Parson gay? He curses softly before clicking on the first article that comes up and it has more than just the picture from the Cosmo site. There's paparazzi photos all the way going back to their rookie year, to when Alexei played for the Aces. None of the pictures would be all that incriminating on their own, but together... 

Alexei groans and takes a deep breath before scrolling down through no less than twenty pictures of the two of them sitting just a little too close at sporting events, smiling at each other over dinner, sitting together in pubs, and most notably a picture of them slow dancing at Chaser's wedding last year. Chaser was the only other rookie on the Aces in their first year and had invited them both to his wedding even though none of them were still on the same team anymore. 

"Why you are not dancing?" Alexei'd asked, having just come back from the dance floor where he'd had six kids hanging off of him like a jungle gym. 

Kent had rolled his eyes and held up his glass, "This is more my style." 

Alexei had plopped down into the chair beside Kent and smiled at him. "I know you like dancing. I see pictures all the time of Ace's Captain dance at club." 

"This isn't really my type of dancing." Kent's nose had crinkled at the thought. Alexei's heart was still a little erratic from his time on the dance floor. 

"You are not knowing how," Alexei'd teased in a singsong voice. 

Kent had scoffed. "I know how to fucking dance." 

Alexei stood up and stretched out his hand to Kent in invitation. "Prove it." 

They'd twirled around the dance floor together, laughing with fingers entwined. At one point Kent had buried his head into Alexei's shoulder and it'd made Alexei's heart race and his palms sweat. The other hockey players at the wedding had teased them afterwards, but the smile Kent couldn't seem to completely wipe from his face the rest of the night had been worth any chirping they'd received.

Alexei knew their picture had been taken, but they'd been goofing off, he hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but now it was showing up on a gossip site less than twenty minutes after Cosmo posted incriminating photos. He isn't sure he wants to read whatever this site has to say about him and Kent, but it's like a car wreck he can't look away from as he scrolls down. 

The article following the photos is short and mostly excerpts from the Cosmo interview.  

Cosmo: So you two have been friends since your rookie year. Can you tell us about how you guys went from being teammates to friends? KP: Well my rookie year was pretty rough, it was a big change from the Q [Parson was in Juniors prior to the 2009 draft] and Tater didn't know anyone - AM: Or any English KP: [smiling at Mashkov] We bonded over a mutual inability to cook and be actual adults. 

Alexei knows there was a follow up question to that about what sort adult things they didn't know how to do, it somehow devolved into Kent ranting about Kit. Alexei's not exactly shocked the site he's on chose not to include that conversation - if it even ended up in the final interview of Cosmo's website. Alexei had gotten so distracted by the picture he forgot to even look. 

Cosmo: I'm sure our readers would be interested to know what the two of you do when you hang out together. AM: We like going [to] movies, I can cook now and Parsnip like[s] to [Mashkov looks to Parson and gestures at him] KP: [laughs] Mooch AM: Yes, yes he mooch[es] off of me. Cosmo: Is he a good cook Kent? KP: Oh yeah, definitely. I love when he cooks for me. 

Cosmo: Do you two have anything planned together during the offseason? AM: Kent is come [sic] to Russia with me. KP: Since when? AM: I [told] you my mama want[s] to meet you. KP: Yeah I thought you meant in the US man. AM: No, no. I mean in Russia. KP: [Laughing] Apparently we're going to Russia together. 

Cosmo: Kent you always seem to have a new beautiful woman on your arm. Any chance of you settling down soon? KP: [laughs] Is this your polite way of telling me to stop being a player? Cosmo: No, no of course not. I just want to let our female readers to know if they've got a chance. KP: Oh alright then, [laughs] as long as you're not trying to ruin my image.     Alexei knows, he knows he shouldn't be reading the comments but he can't stop himself from scrolling. 

There's already over 800 comments when he starts to read them, and the number keeps scrolling up. There's argumentative comments defending Alexei from what they think are false accusations tinged with disgust at the implications, debates continue in threads below that, a surprising number are supportive and there's a single comment, fifteen responses deep from a gay teen who says he's decided not to quit hockey now from just the idea that there might be professional hockey players like him. Alexei stops reading after that one.  

When he attempts to go back to the original article to see what else had been included from their interview he can't because the site has crashed. Alexei pushes his laptop aside and walks back to his kitchen, ignoring the incessant buzzing and dialing Kent's number without even glancing at his missed calls and texts. It doesn't even finish the first ring before Kent's picking up.  

"Dude, where the fuck were you? I've been trying to call you for twenty minutes." His voice sounds tinny and far away like he's using the speakerphone. 

"Sorry," Alexei says, running a hand through his hair and feeling his heart rate slow from the panicked seizing it was doing moments before. He'd rather not think too deeply about that. "I - are you alone?" 

"Yeah," Kent sighs through the line and Alexei can picture him fingering the brim of his snapback. "I'm in the car on my way to your place now."

"What?" Alexei asks. 

"I was in New York visiting my mom," he says, "I'll be there in like two hours." 

Alexei feels selfish, but the fact that he'll get to see Kent today nearly outweighs everything else. "Okay," he says, taking a deep breath, "I am sorry, котенок.  Is my fault they are saying these things. I should not have -" 

"Shut up Aloysha," Kent says. Alexei sucks in a quick breath at the rare use of his nickname. "This isn't on you. I'll explain when I get there - just don't promise PR or your GM anything before I do alright?" 

Alexei nods, "Yes okay. I tell them we wait to talk to Aces before say anything." "Sounds good man," Kent says before hanging up. 

Instead of sitting in his apartment letting his anxiety brew while he waits for Kent, Alexei calls Georgia and PR who are both surprisingly not upset with him. PR is pissed at Cosmo for using that shot, but the conversation actually goes far better than he thought it would. They even tell him that they were coming up with a plan for one of their other players who's planning on coming out and Alexei has absolutely no idea what to say to that. Georgia tells him that how they proceed is completely up to him; whether or not it's true he can deny it, or if he wants to come out the organization is behind him 100%. Alexei doesn't really know what to say to that because the number of people who know he's gay are exactly 2  - including himself, and the boy he kissed behind the bleachers in Russia nearly a decade ago who he's fairly sure doesn't even remember his name. He tells them he has to think about everything and hangs up before they can say anything else.

His phone won't stop buzzing and Alexei considers turning it off before deciding that it might not be a good idea. He checks the clock every five minutes trying to figure out when Kent'll get here, and when he's got about twenty more minutes to wait if Kent doesn't hit traffic when his phone buzzes with a name he'll actually bother picking up for. 

"Alexei are you alright?" His given name sounds foreign on Jack's lips and he furrows his brow in distaste. 

"Zimmboni," Tater exclaims, attempting to maintain some sense of normalcy. "How are you? When am I getting more pie from your baker?" 

"Tater. You have - you've seen the article, haven't you?"  

Tater sighs and his facade falls. "Yes, I'm seeing." 

"I'm bi," Jack blurts, "well either that or pan. I'm not entirely sure yet, but I just - I thought it was something I should tell you. I mean, no that's not right," Jack says, words tumbling out so fast Alexei thinks Jack may have surprised himself a little with the confession. "It's something I wanted to tell you." 

"Thank you," Alexei whispers, unsure of what else to say. 

"I'm planning on coming out soon," Jack says, "while it's still off season, eh?" Alexei nods. "Is good time I think." 

"I can -" Alexei can hear Jacks gulp clear through the line, "I can do it now. If it'll help - if it'll take the pressure off of you." 

"NO," Alexei near shouts, "no, no. You do not come out for me. You come out for you when you are ready. Yes Zimmboni?" 

The line is silent for a moment and when he speaks, Alexei can hear the undertone of relief in Jack's voice. "Yeah, yeah okay, you're right. I just - I know it can't be easy for you to have these rumors about you." 

"They are not being rumors," Alexei says before he can stop himself. 

"What?" 

"Rumors means not true, yes? " Alexei's never said the words out loud before, and even though his heart feels like it's about to pound out from his chest he continues, "Well they are not rumors because I am gay."  The words fall off his tongue as easy as any other and it seems anticlimactic that his roof doesn't cave in and the world around him doesn't come crashing down. Everything is the same as it was moments before, but it's different too. 

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Jack says, as though it's a phrase he's memorized. "So you and Kenny are..."  Jack's voice has a lilt to it now Alexei can't identify and he feels his heart cracking and splintering around the seams. 

"No, no is not what seems." Alexei corrects him, walking over to the window with his phone held up to his ear before peeking through to see the swarm of reporters camped out at the end of his mercifully long driveway. 

"Then I think you should talk to Kent," Jack says, as though it's that easy. Before Alexei can respond Jack is ending the call and there's a commotion at the end of his property.

A dark blue four door sports car barely even slows for the reporters blocking the end of his driveway. Alexei stumbles towards the switch by his door leading to the garage and presses it, opening the garage door just as the sports car reaches the house. An impossibly quick moment later his door is opening and he's got an armful of Kent Parson. 

Alexei wraps his arms around Kent's shoulders and Kent buries his face deeper into Alexei's chest. After a long moment Alexei moves to pull back out of the hug, but Kent's arms remain firm around his shoulders and Alexei relaxes back into the embrace. When they finally pull apart several long moments later Kent's eyes are rimmed with red.   

"I'm so sorry,"  Alexei says. 

"What?" Kent asks, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Dude why're you sorry? It's my dumb ass that got us into this mess." 

Alexei looks at Kent with confusion twisting his brow and Kent huffs a sigh, flopping down onto his couch and throwing an arm over his face dramatically. Alexei follows him and lifts Kent's feet so he can sit at the end of the couch. Kent doesn't put his feet in Alexei's lap - which is weird, because they sit like that all the time. He's got his legs squished up in a way that absolutely cannot be comfortable instead. Alexei picks Kent's feet up gingerly and places them in his lap. 

Kent peaks out from under his arm and groans. "Why do you have to be such a perfect asshole, man?" Before Alexei can even come up with a response for that Kent plows on. "I'm gay." 

Blood rushes through Alexei's ears and he drops his head down as his vision swims. Kent is gay, Alexei's best friend who he's in love with is not straight. He isn't sure how to process this information. 

"And I'm sorry that you've gotten roped into this - I didn't think some little fluff piece for Cosmo would -" Kent pinches the bridge of his nose and looks anywhere other than at Alexei, "The interview, along with how I'm looking at you in that fucking picture. I - " Kent pulls his feet from Alexei's lap and sits up straight. "I can fix this, I was planning on coming out soon anyway. I can tell everyone to fuck off that just cause I -" 

"What do you mean?" Alexei says slowly, Kent's words on repeat in his head. "What do you mean how you look at me?" 

Kent rolls his eyes and huffs, but Alexei knows him well enough to see the nerves beneath his frosty exterior. "Are you really going to make me say it man?" 

Alexei shrugs because the only way Kent's sentence would make sense is if he liked him, and that - he knows that isn't what Kent means. 

Kent sighs and his gaze flicks away from Alexei's before meeting it defiantly. "I'm into you, okay? Not in a way that means we can't still be friends or anything because you don't love me back and you're also straight so - "

"I'm not straight," Alexei says, mind stuck on an endless loop of the words love me back. His heart is going to pump right out of his chest. "I am very much not straight," he repeats because it seems like Kent didn't hear him. 

"What?" Kent asks after a long moment, eyes wide and brimming with something Alexei desperately wants to be hope. 

"And I do," he says, and Ken'ts looking at him like he isn't quite sure what Alexei means, so he clears his throat and says, "love you back, I'm meaning." He ducks his head because that is most definitely not when he intended to say but he's not going to take it back because it's true and Kent deserves to hear it.

Kent launches himself at Alexei and suddenly they're kissing and it's - it's everything. It's years of memories seen in a completely different light. It's two rookies who hold hands just a hair too long when they shake for the first time. It's finding Kent crying in the locker room after a reporter interrogates him about Zimmermann the night of their first game and not knowing the words in either language but scooping him up into his arms anyway and leaving that night with a newly minted best friend. It's smiling just a little too long and laughing just a little too hard at jokes that no one else in the room finds funny. It's the bright red flush that creeps up Kent's neck and settles on his cheeks when Alexei catches his eye in locker room. It's playing on opposing teams and going to the fanciest restaurant in town to make the loser pay. It's every touch and look that sends off a flickering trail of sparks deep in his chest that he always tried desperately to smother. 

It's Kent climbing into his lap and kissing him within an inch of his life. It's Alexei's hands dropping down low on Kent's waist as he pulls him closer. It's Kent breaking the kiss to catch his breath, forehead resting against Alexei's.

 It's Kent mumbling, "We're so fucking stupid. We could've been doing this for years," into Alexei's mouth before kissing him again.

[spoopy-imagines-writer]

In This Moment

Request: Could you do a Negan x Reader where the reader is an Alexandrian but Negan had taken her a while back and they fell in love, but when she becomes pregnant with Negan's baby, she escapes back to Alexandria. He eventually finds her and is shocked when he finds out? - @thewinchestersbitch

Pairing: Negan x Reader

Word Count: 2978 (I’m not even sorry)

Warning: Pregnancy, Angst, Fluff, general gore associated with The Walking Dead, implied smut, and a LOT of cussing because, well... Its Negan

A/n: Anything in italics before present time are flashbacks! Man this was so fun to write, I loved this request! This fic is named after the band Em told me to listen to for inspiration! -Jo

“Well, well… well,” his boots stopped directly in front of you. “Who the shit do we have here?”

You willed yourself not to collapse further in front of the group of the ones who ironically called themselves the saviors. One of them shot you twice in the leg, and you grew more weary as this nightmare dragged on. Shivering violently, you risked a glance at your friends – your family – on either side of you. Rick stared ahead, the others stared down. Only Daryl and Maggie looked at you.

Suddenly you felt the cold wood and the metal barbs of the baseball bat underneath your chin, willing you to look into the eyes of the devil. He grinned down at you, but his eyes held a warning. “I said, ‘Who the shit do we have here?’ I was asking you, sweetheart. Not your little buddies over there.” It was then that he finally took notice of the blood pooling beneath you and spreading on your jeans. He continued to remain nonchalant. “What the- Okay, here’s the deal. We have a first aid kit… somewhere. You’re gonna come with us… Or you’ll bleed out here. My girl doesn’t want you. She told me herself, you see. So what do you say?”

You glared up at him, but your eyes couldn’t stay focused. It became harder to breathe. Your vision became hazy just as you fell completely to the ground. At least if this was how you died it wouldn’t be as painful, you could barely feel your leg anymore. There were muffled voices close to your ear. You felt yourself being lifted… Then you didn’t feel anything at all.

The pain in your head was the first thing you noticed as you began to wake. You groaned, bringing your hand to your forehead in a feeble attempt to stop the pounding. “Well, I’m not dead then.”

“Was that what you were really hoping for?” The voice to your right surprised you. You finally noticed the soft sheets under you, and the hard pillow beneath your head. You looked over and saw the man himself sitting in a chair. “That’s so... disappointing. I was hoping for more from you.”

“Hot damn, I must be a goner after all. The devil himself standing vigil over me.” You snorted, ignoring the pain in your… everything.

He tsked at you. “You might want to be nice to me, Kitten. I’m the one with the meds to make all that pain you’re feeling just fuck right off right out of here.”

“Who says I’m in any pain?”

He laughed without humor. “So says that fucking ace bandage and the four bullet holes in your leg. Two shots right on through. You’re a damn trooper, Kitten.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” You gritted your teeth together. “I have an actual name.”

“Well I thought so, but you passed out like a sissy before we could be formally introduced.” He leaned forward, grinning widely. “Now I’m still gonna call you whatever the fuck I want to, seeing as how I’m the one who saved you from dying in the middle of the woods-“

“I wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place if your men hadn’t-!“

“I can assure you that those two particular assholes have been taken care of.” His eyes tightened. “Don’t interrupt me again, Kitten. Now where was I?” He stared you down, daring you to disrupt his train of thought. He smiled again. “Oh yeah! I was telling you how I saved you from imminent death from bleeding out in the middle of the woods and left you to become one of those dead fuckers, and I still haven’t even gotten a thank you! Now what kind of ungrateful shit does that?”

You sighed and let your head fall back onto the pillow. “The kind who still doesn’t know your name either.”

He was quiet for a long moment. Good, maybe he’ll leave, you thought. He didn’t. Figures. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

“Nope.” You popped the ‘P’.

“Well how fucking rude of me! Where are my manners?” he grabbed your hand. You looked over to see his face. If he wasn’t such an asshole… he might even be handsome. He was smirking again. He kissed your hand, and you ignored the sparks you felt. “I’m Negan.”

You nodded, already having figured that out. “Y/n.”

His grin widened, and he winked at you. “Now we’re getting somewhere!”

“You’re pulling my fucking leg, right?” Negan couldn’t believe you were serious. “I’ve got these damn sexy little black dresses staring you in the face… And you want to wear blue jeans and a fucking flannel?!”

“I agreed to be one of your wives, Negan,” you crossed your arms, “but only because you said you wouldn’t hurt any more of my family. I didn’t agree to… those.” You sneered at the dresses. It was a half lie, it wasn’t the only reason you agreed to be one of his wives and he knew it.

“Well why the fuck not? They’ve at least got to be easier on your leg than pants.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “They’re not nearly as comfortable as what I normally wear, and my leg is much better now.” An idea struck you then. Smirking internally, you pulled your best puppy dog face. “Come on, Negan. Please?” You batted your eyelashes for good measure.

He rolled his eyes. You were lucky it was just the two of you in your room. If not, he would never in a million years have said, “Fine.” His grin was back, his voice seductively low. “Although I do like hearing you beg, Kitten. Let’s hear some more of that.” He gripped the back of your head and pulled your mouth to his in a rough kiss. You moaned, moving your arms up to grip his shoulders. His hands slid slowly down your back, stopping to grip just below your ass. You wrapped your legs around his waist as his mouth went to your neck, nipping and sucking marks onto the skin there. Your voice came out breathless. “Negan, please…”

You felt him smirk into your neck. “Please what, Kitten?”

You growled. “Fuck me, Negan.”

His low laugh was right in your ear. “Well if you insist.”

The other wives stared at you in disdain. They sneered insults both to your face and behind your back when they thought you couldn’t hear. You didn’t have a single friend here you could talk to. Daryl was here, somewhere, but you’d seen what happened to the other men who spoke too fondly with a few of the other wives. You couldn’t seek him out, not that you even knew where to look.

You had no one to turn to. You were no longer safe in Sanctuary.

Neither of you were. Your hand automatically went to your abdomen, like that alone would shield your unborn child from the dangers of this world. Hell, the dangers in this room alone. All of these women would sooner kick you in the stomach than help you.

It’s a good thing you were a survivor before you were brought here. During your walks with Negan over the past few months you’d listen intently and take in your surroundings. You memorized the guards’ shifts, took note of the gaps in between. You tried not to think of how this would affect Negan. You knew you were his favorite, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out. You leaving might actually hurt him.

You knew it would hurt you to leave him. Of all people, you had to fall in love with the one man you knew who had more wives than he really knew what to do with. But it wasn’t just you anymore.

With that thought in mind, you reached under your bed to grab the bag you’d packed already. You double checked everything inside, pulled on your boots, and snuck out into the night with only one place in mind.

Home.

Present Time

It didn’t take as long as you’d thought it would to get used to being back at home, although it had taken some convincing on your part to get Rick and Michonne to understand that you’d be alright on your own despite the pregnancy. They still visited often, as did Carl with Judith. You didn’t really want to be around anyone else, but you were thankful for the company. Eugene was also good company occasionally, although the two of you didn’t talk much. He was sweet enough to look for baby formula when he was on runs, and he’d run across a handful of cans that miraculously had yet to expire.

At nights your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the man you’d left behind. Was he angry? Was he hurt? You snorted. You knew he would be able to drown himself in his other women. Sure he might have been angry at first, but it wouldn’t have lasted long. You doubted he even remembered you at this point. Negan was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. He knew where you’d have likely gone and if he had cared, he would have sent a group out to find you. He never felt the same love you had for him.

At least that’s what you told yourself to make your decision easier to live with.

Once your baby girl was born it was almost too easy to keep your mind distracted. She needed constant attention, and she always cried if anyone other than you held her. You had more visitors after Scarlett’s birth. It had been so long since many of them had seen a newborn. That never really went over well with Scar, she hated all the attention. You couldn’t help but smile at the likeness between the two of you.

You were able to keep to yourself for the most part, you didn’t need to leave your house very often. So you weren’t entirely aware of what was happening a few houses down from yours. You were putting Scarlett down for her afternoon nap when you happened to glance out of the window and saw most of the Alexandrians had gathered around something in the center of the street. You opened the window just in time to hear his voice. “… You did have guts! I’ve never been so wrong in my whole life!” He paused, and you knew he was savoring the moment of whatever he’d done this time. You opened your front door enough that you could hear him better, but he couldn’t see you. “Now someone ought to get up here and clean this mess up.” You briefly wondered what the mess was when he spoke again. “Oh… Anyone wanna finish the game?” Everyone stayed still where they were, too frightened to move an inch. “Come on.” Your feet had a mind of their own, your brain was on autopilot as you began to move slowly out of the doorway. “Anybody? Anybody?” You reached the back of the crowd. “Come on,” he grinned. “I was winning.”

His eyes fell on you at the same moment Rosita lifted her gun. “NO!” you screamed and shoved her. The bullet only hit Lucille, but you knew that was almost as bad as if Rosita’s bullet had hit Negan himself. You were shoved to the ground, Negan’s people believing you were also a threat. You glared defiantly at the man with a knife to your throat.

“SHIT!” He shouted. “What the SHIT! You just tried to kill me?! You shot Lucille!!”

Rosita glared her bitch face in your direction. “She got in the way.”

Negan finally took note of you. His eyes noticeably softened at seeing you again. “Get off her.” The guy holding you down was momentarily stunned at the command. Negan barked at him, “Now!” He did as he was told finally, and Negan leaned down next to you. You could see he wanted to have words with you, but not here. You made it easier on him and sent a cocky smirk his way. He visibly hardened his face. “You’re coming with me, Kitten.” He grabbed your upper arm and yanked you to your feet, although his grip wasn’t painfully tight like he made it to look. He looked back to the woman holding Rosita down. “You keep her happy ass right there, she’s got some fucking explaining to do.”

Nodding your head to the house you’d claimed as yours, he hurried you both inside. Slamming the door behind him, he turned to you. He set Lucille down in the corner. “Y/n,” he breathed out your name. You expected yelling, but he surprised you by pulling you tightly to him. “I should turn you over my fucking knee, Kitten. Why the hell did you leave?!”

Pulling away from him, you couldn’t meet his eyes. You bit your lip before answering. “It might be easier to show you.” You held you hand out to his. “Do you trust me?”

He raised an eyebrow but gripped your hand regardless. Negan allowed you to lead him to a room just down the hallway, and you thanked God that Scar was a heavy napper. You let go of Negan’s hand and nodded for him to open the door. He let out a small laugh. “Now what do we have here?” He leaned over her crib to get a better look at the baby. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes from her. “She’s mine?”

You scoffed. “Seriously?”

“It’s a genuine question, Kitten.”

Propping yourself against the doorframe, you answered easily, “Of course she’s yours, jackass. I couldn’t…”

He stood up fully again and turned to look at you. He was uncharacteristically quiet. Your eyes stayed glued to the floor until his boots were in your line of sight. His fingers went under your chin to lift your gaze to meet his, and you had the strangest sense of déjà vu. You smiled in spite of yourself. “Why couldn’t you?” he asked.

You shook your head to clear your thoughts. “We have a lot to talk about, and Scarlett has to sleep. I don’t know who’s blood that is on your face, but you can go wash up in the bathroom beside the dining room. Meet me in the living room, okay?” You walked out before he could object to you ordering him around.

You didn’t even see his smile at learning his baby girl’s name.

Not five minutes later you were sitting together on the couch. It didn’t do well for your state of mind but now that he was here with you, you more or less gravitated towards him. You couldn’t find the right words to start.

Thankfully you didn’t have to. This was the most thoughtful you’d ever seen him. “So she’s why you left? You found out you were pregnant and you… just bolted?”

“That’s… not exactly what happened.” After taking a deep breath you delved into your story, explaining the obvious jealousy the other wives felt for you, how they’d sooner kill you themselves than help you. Once they would have found out about the pregnancy, one of them would have seen to the end of it. It went beyond simple jealousy for some, the ones who actually hated you. It was no longer safe, and that’s why you had to leave.

Negan, of course, was surprised to hear that. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that they were bitches to you? I would have shut that shit down in a heartbeat!”

You looked at him with tired eyes. “Would you have believed me?”

“Yeah, because you tell me like it fucking is.” He paused for a moment, like he was thinking hard about what to say next. “What stopped you from being with anyone else?” He smirked. “Lemme guess, you had the best so no other guy could compare?”

You smacked his arm. “No…” It was now or never. “It’s because… Like an idiot, I grew to love you even though you’d never feel the same about me. I accepted that, but after I got here I knew I wasn’t going to move on. So I guess – “

His hand on your cheek pulling your mouth to his interrupted your rambling. This kiss was different from all the others you’d shared. Those were all more possessive and primal. This was… passionate. And it didn’t stop the fluttering in your tummy.

Negan pulled away from you. “You want the others gone? They’ll be out on their asses faster than you can say ‘shit show’. Because Kitten… I don’t care what you think you know. You’re it for me.” That was as close to an I love you as you were going to get. Before you could reply, Scarlett let out a loud cry to let you know that she wasn’t happy about being left alone. He grinned. “I’ve got her,” he said and took off before you could get a word out.

You followed behind him. “Babe she doesn’t like anyone else holding her, she cries- “

That cocky smirk was on his face again but turned into a smile when he looked at her. “I guess she know who her Papa is.” She cooed at him. “Yes she does. That’s right. I’m your Papa and I’m gonna shut down any motherfu-“

You cleared your throat.

“Seriously? Unless she came out of there talking your ear off, she’s not gonna care about what the hell I say in front of her.”

You shook your head and went to go fix her a bottle. You didn’t know what the future held for you at this point, not that you ever did really. But now that things were out in the open… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

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