#and him leaving chuuya

[twinksintrees]

thinking about dazai makes me genuinely sick sometimes

[lotus-pear]

in love with tragedy

[drlqra]

there's a story behind this portrait 😇

and i'm going to gatekeep that story forever <3

[unicornpopcorn14]

inspired by @sensitiveheartless comic

Thinking abt Dazai being infatuated with Chuuya's resting face after corruption.

Thinking about how he progressively ventured with how much he provided caring touches each time Chuuya is out cold.

These are the only moments he sees Chuuya completely resting, without anger or stress drawn onto his features. These are the only times Soukoku can even have silent moments between them, free of exclaims and insults.

The first few instances Dazai would just sit beside him, observe from afar the way his chest heaves and the blood trickles from his skin. The way he's completely vulnerable without a care in the world, like Dazai's presence is somehow grounding for him, safe. And isn't that the dumbest thing he'd ever concluded?

Then the Dragon Head conflict happens, and Dazai can't help but carress his hair, give him a sense of comfort after Chuuya just told him to never stop him. He doesn't hate it as much as he thought it would.

But then, as they resort to corruption more and more, he'd take a risk and hold his hand, maneuvering him to be more comfortable. It would be a pain to have Chuuya develop essential tremors for how his hands shake at these times, wouldn't it? So he'll keep them steady, never letting the blood stain the bandages, else Chuuya would figure him out.

The next time he'd hold Chuuya completely in his arms, because surely the ground can't be that comfortable, and he'd hate for his dog to get sclerosis or something.

And rarely, when they are truly alone, when Dazai is sure they're in the clear, he'd even lean forward so he's resting on Chuuya's shoulder, almost falling asleep himself. His coat is black, so it'd never show the blood smearing him everywhere. And Chuuya isn't that smart to reckon what happens when he falls asleep. It's fine.

Chuuya would be hurled the moment he conveys the smallest signs of waking up, even if he isn't waking up at all, and Dazai would collect himself with an inhale, struggling to fully accept his indulgence in these quiet moments, and knowing he'd miss them for how gradually shorter they're becoming.

And, in fact, Chuuya had already made the connection, seeing how he wakes up with blood smearing Dazai's white shirt, despite getting nullified solely by the wrist, and being wildely far away from Dazai every time at the result of being thrown, despite feeling like he was cozily held not a second earlier.

Though for how hard Dazai is trying to keep this from him, he doesn't find it in himself to be obnoxious about it. And really, he isn't awake for it anyways, so there isn't a risk of him gagging from how sappy this all is. He'll be lenient this once and grant the bastard what he guesses is some sort of comfort for him.

Thus he never brings it up.

[littencloud9]

the way dazai has a broken leg and chuuya has gravity powers. yet hes just squatting there, looking pretty, sassing about dazai’s struggle, and refusing to help LMAO. thats my skk fr

[raccoonwxrks]

Just finished rewatching Deadpool and decided to do some crabbed 16!Chuuya doodles

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[ssaraexposs]

Dazai, man, you're down...BAAAAAD

[nyxi-pixie]

theres something so terribly sad about how beastzai is very much the omniscient character that everyone thinks canonzai is and yet elements of his plan are so deeply flawed because he doesnt know how to work around creating anything solid without beating it together.

atsushi and akutagawa are friendly instantly. theres no reason the two of them couldnt build each other up by working together. aku himself develops his ability so well in beast because hes being tended by gentler hands than he is in canon. he flourishes under kinder teaching. their partnership could easily have been grown the same way. but dazai cant see that.

[dailynakaharachuuya]

28. Sleepy and tired

[petitesmafia]

hc Verlaine has a framed picture of him and Chuuya on his desk that he likes to show ppl who visit him. except it’s not a pic they took together like they literally just happened to be in the same frame

visitor, picking up frame: what’s this Verlaine: it’s a photo of my brother and i visitor: ??? so which one...or where is your brother exactly Verlaine: don’t you see him [points to a grainy blurry crumb of Chuuya in the background] he’s right there visitor: …sorry my bad no i definitely see him. don't know how i possibly could've...missed him

[sabh0]

Can we yap about how much these two GENUINELY need each other and can't STAND the fact they know this and despise that it's true!! 😭

More so Dazai than Chuuya, honestly- he's a very needy guy XD

Like they don't need each other to survive - the 4 years apart made it clear, but. They both seem so much more alive and genuine next to each other aughhh

Both know there's no other person that understands them so well, but the fact that *someone* can basically read their thoughts before they even say em is what also scares em sm,,, like yeah i hate you and i hate the fact that you know me so well. And i also hate the fact that i know you so well too,,,

Tho there r times when they REALLY need each other to survive, not metaphorically or anything. Chuuya needs Dazai durning Corruption and Dazai needs Chuuya when uh. Making these stupid plans where he plays a princess who needs a prince on a white horse to save him. Be it Dead Apple or even the Dragon's Head Conflict.

And it makes me go so aughhh bc none of them have to use these tactics that put their lives in the hands of the other, but they still do and aughhh the trust they have for each other makes me throw up

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

"if atsushis the bookmark what does this make dazais connection to the book?" this aint about him

[cryptidnest]

Chuuya has invented the new way of living which is posh-punk. And I'm here for it!

[xlillyle]

"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."

[sulliedsorrow]

going insane thinking about skk breakup dazai leaving the port mafia again because. he really just up and left without saying anything. not a word, not a goodbye, not a “chuuya would you like to come with me.” and he never said anything after. didn’t try to get in contact at all. no texts, no calls, no letters, no cryptic messages decipherable only to the both of them.

imagine being partners with someone. imagine forging a bond so strong that it’s been likened to a diamond sharpening another diamond. imagine spending three years with someone, forging a relationship, learning about each other and what makes them click and how to work together and how exist together.

imagine they throw it all in your face. they leave and not only do they leave, but they do so in a manner which shows that they never even considered you. they left as if your lives aren’t connected, they left as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

imagine everyone else finding out before you.

what was the past three years for then. what was them telling you that you gave them a reason to live for then. has it expired? has it run out? was it not enough? did they find something better?

and the lack of respect of it all. you never would have stopped them from leaving if they just explained why they had to. you would have been angry, you would have been pissed off because it’s the same story over and over again, you hurt everything you touch, you hurt everything you get close to, you’re never enough of a reason for someone to stay; but you would have understood. eventually. but they didn’t do that.

they wrote you so neatly out of their life that you wonder if you were ever a part of it in the first place.