#and hes not wrong he CAN. but also hmmmm actually maybe what if hes not. a boy.
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mamawasatesttube · 9 months ago
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heres how t4t timkon can still win.
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apollos-olives · 1 year ago
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hey, so, someone linked me this article, to "prove" to me that i should "condemn hamas". as a non-palestinian i was told there is no way i can refute this, since it comes from a gazan. i was wondering if, as a journalist and a palestinian, you would mind writing a rebuttal that i could show to people? if you have the time and energy.
https://www.newsweek.com/hamass-western-apologists-have-become-hamas-enthusiasts-gazan-im-horrified-opinion-1849228
okay sure let's go through this together
first thing i urge you is to be weary about propaganda. this person may be getting paid, blackmailed, or just genuinely might be brainwashed, in order to write this.
second is that this article might genuinely be this persons opinion 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ and if it is, i urge you to come and analyze it with me in order to point out it's faults
third, let me say that NO ONE is forced to support hamas as an entirety. but as this person's article states, he is against hamas even as a freedom fighter group, so i'm gonna walk you through some of his bullshit okay :)
one thing i noticed is that there is a LOT of propaganda that was debunked in the past that is still being used in this article
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the actual number of "civilians" killed was 900, most of which were actually killed by the iof as they shot at their own "civilians" and soliders. so the author of this article may not be as educated as he might make you think he is.
he's saying that the attack on oct 7 wasn't a "legitimate armed resistance to occupation" but it literally was. there are like a billion un resolutions that state that armed resistance against an occupier is allowed. hamas has every right to fight back against israel. and what? you think armed resistance isn't going to get messy??? of course it will. it is already messy. people are going to die no matter what. that is how you fight against your oppressor. people will die. that's the whole "armed resistance" part. this person is utterly ignorant if he thinks that we can free palestine by a few peaceful protests (which i will come back to soon!)
and yeah what is wrong with "contextualizing" the attack by telling people that gazans are living in a concentration camp?? because they are. and they have every right to fight back. hamas wasn't the only one who was resisting that day, and more than one palestinian resistance group were there as well. condemning only hamas for this shit is idiotic and honestly grouping ALL palestinians, even ones who were not part of hamas, as hamas is... well do i gotta say it? racist.
this author is using a lot of words like "horrific nature" ...... palestinians who fight against their oppressors have a "horrific nature" ???? doesn't that sound... racist to you? and what "numbers" are involved ???? 900 "civilians" that were killed by their own army???? yeah. what massive numbers that hamas killed ooohhhhhh 😰😰
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bruhhh this shit sounds like the whole "hamas is their new fandom" bullshit 💀💀💀 also where is he seeing this stuff???? how are bulldozers, paragliders, and motorcycles showing support to hamas?????? maybe they're just people who support palestine in general and mean to use them as symbols of resistance. mocking the "underprivileged fight back" hmmmm that sure sounds so inclusive and supportive of you mister palestinian author!!
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this guy brings up international law when LITERALLY THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. BY INTERNATIONAL LAW HAMAS AND OTHER PALESTINIANS ARE ALLOWED TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST THEIR OPPRESSORS. BY "ALL MEANS NECESSARY" - ughhh this is exhausting. and the fact that they call hamas enthusiasts (💀) "inhumane" ... wowwww what happened to the whole "stop dehumanizing poc and the oppressed" ???? this guy is a fucking weirdo.
and again with the "civilians" dude seriously???? israeli civilians are illegal settlers. there are no innocent israelis except for the children, and any harm that may come to the children should put the parents to be held accountable for bringing/settling their child into a land that isn't theirs anyway.
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why would you equate being jewish with israel?? yeah a lot of israelis are jewish but pro-palestine jews have repeatedly told us that we should not and must not equate judaism and israel together, and that doing that is antisemitic because it's equating judaism as a supporter of genocide.
and why are you, as a palestinian, calling what's happening in palestine a "conflict" ??? even after years and years of palestinians begging for people to stop seeing it and calling it a conflict and name it for what it is, systematic ethnic cleansing and genocide ?? this guy's wording is ridiculous and so full of that "both sides" liberalism shit it's so exhausting.
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wow we love the blatant propaganda. you could tell that the hostages were comfortable enough to wave or handshake the members who released them. they were smiling, no one was forcing them to do that. no one was threatening them harm. many family members have spoken out and have told the media that hamas has treated the hostages well, even if the conditions weren't very glorious.
and AGAIN with the whole "women and children" as if men weren't victims too. you are trying to push for the safety of israelis but disregard the men ???? hm
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wow calling palestinians terrorists that's totally not racist at all!!!!
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ohhh my god how many times do we have to say that peaceful protests DO NOT WORK !!! no one is listening to us. we've TRIED peacefully protesting. gazans tried peacefully protesting a few years back and HUNDREDS got killed and THOUSANDS got injured!!!! peaceful protesting isn't going to work alone. we need action!! we need to start fighting back!!! we need to make a difference!! palestinians have been begging for people to do this for years now!!!
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what "slogans" ????? "from the river to the sea" ???? is that a dangerous slogan, mister palestinian author ?????? don't make me laugh.
and there is a FINE line between anti zionism and antisemitism. yes a lot of zionists are jews but also a lot of christian zionists are antisemites as well. we are allowed to call out and fight anti zionism without being antisemitic. but i guess you would know SO much about that huh, mister palestinian author.
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wow what a totally normal thing to say!!! linking palestinians to their constant suffering under the occupation and linking them to be forever tied to their oppressors. "millions of jews will forever be part of the land" YES !!! PALESTINIAN JEWS !!! WHO WERE FOREVER PART OF THE LAND !!!!
ok that's all for the screenshots but i DO want to mention that not once did this guy say ANYTHING about how hamas was bad for gaza. he did not say anything or show any proof about gazans suffering under hamas' rule, and only talked about the "poor israelis" ☹️☹️☹️ who were huwt becawse they wewe illegal settlews on a land that's not theiw's :((((((
this guy was probably paid or blackmailed or something. or just brainwashed.
many palestinians ARE anti hamas as a whole. but we DO support their fight for our freedom.
i hope this helps. keep these arguments in mind next time you're reading an article.
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bloodreddemons · 11 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel Episode 5-6 Hot Takes! ~
Lucifer doesn't really seem like a necessarily "good" dad or "bad" dad. He's definitely not the greatest at all but it really does suck that Charlie was pretty much isolated from him. Not completely his fault I'm sure.
I know it's obvious at this point that Lucifer & Alastor don't like each other...but you can definitely tell Alastor HATES him. His face was just stuck on stink the entire time.
To follow that up, I wonder why Alastor doesn't like Lucifer so much. Maybe it has to do with Lilith or Eve?
I like Lucifer's personality despite being the literal Devil he's actually very goofy. I don't think this was even a hot take. Lol.
Alastor saying fuck is the funniest thing in this show so far. It was actually gold. Bless him.
I hate that there was actual discourse surrounding episode 5 regarding Charlastor, and that people who hate the ship took the opportunity to either be pissed about their interactions, or celebrate that the ship is dead.
Hell's Greatest Dad was a nice song I really enjoyed it. Alastor and Lucifer sounded great.
A lot of people have already said this, but I think it's pretty obvious that Alastor was only trying to piss Lucifer off with the daughter comments. I don't think he actually sees him & Charlie as family.
Saying that Charlie can almost call Alastor Daddy was jaw dropping lol. I don't get how the ship is dead. It's definitely revived.
I fucking hate Mimzy. She's just an awful friend. She's literally that fake friend that only hits you up when you need something. I don't get how Alastor has been (hazbin) friends with her for so long. Christ.
I would've just thrown Mimzy to the Lone Sharks.
I wonder who "owns" Alastor? Most likely Lilith, that's what everybody has said. It could also possibly be Eve tho. He's definitely been working with someone.
Alastor's monster eldritch form kinda looks how a lot of us expected.
I don't get how Charlie is going to tell Lucifer, the first fallen angel EVER, and God's actual former favorite, what Heaven would say or think. He's already been there before. He knows how they work.
"More than Anything" was actually a pretty sweet song. It kinda hit close to home. Lucifer really sounded like the Angel he is.
Cherri & Sir Pentious are actually really cute. I kinda saw that one coming. Idk how they'd fuck tho. Ewwww.
Something is weird about Charlie not being on that list when they got to Heaven. Some people have speculated that she's in the wrong place. Hmmmm.
I don't really care for Sera or Emily. Idk I just don't. Sorry y'all.
"Welcome To Heaven" was such a weird gay ass song. 🤣 Why was that white ass twink priest practically moaning lmao...but the song was giving some type of backstreet boys or NSYNC.
I didn't think Lute or any of the exterminators actually had faces. That was a shock.
Even though it was already obvious to so many I was still gagged when the Vaggie Angel theory was finally confirmed. I love the way she met Charlie.
Not a hot take but I fucking hate Lute & Adam for doing Vaggie like that. She definitely didn't deserve it. All she did was spare one fucking child. They're evil.
The blackmailing Vaggie thing was very anticlimactic and dumb as fuck especially since they made Vaggie avoid being questioned. It would've been more interesting if Vaggie did what Adam said and spoke against Charlie at the meeting.
I've come to realize that Heaven is just shit and nobody knows what they're doing. The fact that they have a piece of shit like Adam up there and he himself doesn't know why he's there in the first place is very telling.
I don't think Cherri is a bad friend at all, but it was very off putting for her to constantly peer pressure Angel Dust when he's been trying to have a good streak. I get that she's a party animal and don't give a fuck but she could at least be mindful of her friend that's trying to stop their bad habits.
Angel being protective of Nifty when she was drunk was so cute. I'm happy he saved her from Val even if she didn't need it.
"You didn't know" was meh. It had some good parts I liked the overlapping of "Hell Is Forever" but thats really it.
I feel like Charlie is going to forgive Vaggie pretty quickly. I don't think this dramatic revelation of her past is going to cause that big of a rift in their relationship at all, especially with how quick they made up in episode 3.
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faunandfloraas · 4 months ago
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Aussie question time: when I find out an idol is American/Canadian, their image in my mind completely changes because now it’s like “Oh I know exactly who you are, I grew up with your type around me” there are subtleties that I’m going to understand that others might not. So with all that said, I’ve been curious about what that’s like (if you experience it) w the skz aussies (throw in a lily if you’re feeling it -v-) 🎤
this is wayyyyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more- also disclaimer: i dont know these guys and these are just my opinions, dont take em too srs <3
Hmmmm... Well I guess I'll start with Felix- I've said it before a bunch but the whole "Felix is a tiny uwuw baby sweet summerchild who is just such a baby" etc. etc. has made me laugh from the get go- because Yep! he is incredibly sensitive and sweet natured and kind and he cries a lot- 100% that is true. Dont think I'm saying it's not. But like. He also grew up in western sydney, he grew up in a area that if you google it one of the first suggestions is "is it safe" but then at the same time he went to private catholic school im pretty sure. and i saw pics from back then that he'd posted back in the day of cool little felix with his gold watch and his fade and all his little homeboys looking rowdy on the train- I know that kid and while that kid can also be sweet and sensitive, he's not incapable and hes not a baby. Good recent example was when he went on that Jewel box show with the gay dudes and people were acting like he was *so uncomfortable* and sooooo out of his element and so this and so that- theres gay dudes all over sydney, there's gay dudes all over australian media- the idea felix couldnt handle that was simply laughable to me- but it kinda shows how many outside perceptions of him still very much fall into that vaguely infantalizing thing. Like when he was the one who was happy to go up to adam levine and dj snake in that skz talker while the other boys were much more shy? that didnt shock me at all. felix went to korea as a whole teenager laregly against his parent wishes- he's actually quite an outgoing and brave guy. Outgoing guys can still be sweeties, though- one doesn't negate the other.
One other aspect of Felix i think a lot of fans just gloss over but is easily noticeable by me is that he can kindaaaaaa be ... a lil bitchy? like he's never ever mean or cruel dont get me wrong- but he has a slight bitchy streak, he rolls his eyes AND he's actually much more sarcastic than people bring up? Again- he does it a lot with Chan and that doesnt shock me- they both are aussie boys, Chan will get it and I think Felix can very much be himself with Chan, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to put up an extra air of like... Sweetie boy-ness? bc when he calls chan a cunt on live chan just laughs and goes OI!! so yuh the main thing with felix is while i do think hes a little sweet guy, ive never from the get go had a hard time seeing him outside of that box, too. Also maybe that's a lil bit aussie humour slipping under the radar here or there 🤔
Chan to me from the get go too was pretty much like. Prototypical overachieving aussie Good Boy. Like, i had a drafted post i never posted bc it was too niche- but it was essentially about how he speaks about sports and the like, and it just said "We get it. You went to zone carnival" which was the sporting event that the kids who got gold or 1st place were sent to. If you went to zone, you were the Successful kid. I think these days most fans perceive him as... a bit of a goofy guy? but I have gone through the archives and i have seen the comments from people talking about how chans such a bad boy- thats shit is so funny to me bc you can show me every iteration of chan and I'd never, ever think he's a bad boy. Like he wishes he was a bad boy, he kinda cosplays a bad boy- even him referencing swearing bc of his australianess and shit over the years makes me giggle a little bc i feel like felix def 100% swears all the time but he doesnt like Smirk about it too much? he doesnt really bring it up? things like that stand out, it to me feels very like Oh yeah I'm this naughty Aussie boy who swears hehe and then all the australians are like ? Girl we all do huh lmao
Otherwise, I dont have as much to say about chan as i do about felix, funnily. Like idk people might perceive differently to me, but nothing too far off? I will say that given Chan's success and the fact he was seemingly a very well achieving kid too (maybe not debuting for such a long time is part of this) he is WAY more humble than I'd expect. Like not to besmirch Australian men but a lot of them can be really loud and cocky, especially the famous successful ones (any sport star) it's almost encouraged to be like that if you're a dude (but only to a certain degree, anything beyond a certain point and you'll be roasted lol) So I have to give credit where it's due and say that Chan *Seemingly does have a very good nature and I appreciate that about him! Its probably why I like him so much bc he actually very much doesn't give off those vibes- he doesn't seem like that overly macho cocky bloke I know very well. So that makes him good fun for me- he's very successful and he's confident and yet he doesn't activate any of my bitch instincts- thats impressive! I don't know him, so I'll never know for sure of course, i feel like i need to make that disclaimer but still I do believe he has a good heart, and he tries so hard! and I appreciate that.
Lily is weirdly like Chan. like she's hilariously like chan tbh- I wonder how they really get along sometimes bc I feel like they might look at each other and be like Hm... we the same............ ? Lmao I will say though, lily is a bit out of pocket and half of that I believe is her personality but half of it is just.... I think she's just australian 😭 like i cant lie you get me as a teenager to early 20 something and put me on a live and I can promise I would be saying as much ?? shit. Like, I do think Australians are a little loud and not necessarily always.... tactful (again Not everyone, but yk.) lily certainly fits that bill to a T. I appreciate that regardless of her idolhood she does still say things that maybe she shouldn't, she shrugs off a shoplifting confession, she says she'd murder someone if she had to, she bought and wore a shirt that fans quickly tracked down and found out all the proceeds were going to Palestine- she would have known what that suggested. she clearly had this goal of being an idol since she was a baby, like literal baby but she hasn't sacrificed her broader personality, even the parts that could potentially be off-putting to those idol fans that expect perfection and nothing else. I appreciate that in her! and I hope she never loses her little weird girl spark bc it does make her very dynamic! Her slightly gruff aussie girlness is very fun for me to see in the idolsphere bc it def feels out of place, but in a refreshing way...
so yeah. Idk if this was sensical, I was making dinner so I put my phone down a bunch and it's probably disjointed but thats my opinion... my thoughts, my ideas! Idk my take on them. Thanks for asking 🫡
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yanaleese · 1 month ago
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Let's imagine this weird scenario: what if Darling is from another world? It doesn't matter if it was intentional or accidental, they are new to the new place - without documents, they have a vague idea of ​​what's going on around them (although the experience of living in the previous world helps to get their bearings). In general, what steps would Karma take when he realized that the person who attracted him has no backstory at all, except for the one he makes up on the fly? There are no records of traces on the Internet (the trail can be traced back to the last week at most), not a single document, in fact, Darling seemed to have formed on its own out of thin air no more than half a year ago, if not less. Would he become super suspicious, expecting it to be a trap? How quickly would he have realized that something was wrong with the whole situation? (It's unlikely that the first thing he would have thought was that Darling was from another world, right? At least without hard evidence…) Or would he have taken advantage of the situation and offered to help, essentially becoming a sugar daddy, despite the fact that he didn't have time to figure out exactly what was wrong with Darling? (Hey, I know you're in some kind of bad situation and I heard you don't have a place to live? I can get you a motel room or offer to spend the night at my place. By the way, here's your favorite meal and I also bought you some clothes and essentials). Or perhaps he would have very conveniently offered to help with the paperwork, noticing that Darling was trying to legitimize herself, slowly trying to scout out the situation "from the inside"? Maybe even offered a safe job, just to keep them close while he tried to figure it out. And at what point would Karma have believed Darling if they said that they were actually from another world and had no idea how they ended up here or were just trying to survive?
OMG THIS IS THE LONGEST ASK I'VE EVER GOTTEN!!!!!!!!! (i think) AND I LOVE IT
Hmmmm this is a tough one! But I think Karma, upon looking at your poor, unfortunate stature would watch you for a few days. He'll notice that your mannerisms are peculiar, but not something so obvious to see. He knows you're trying to blend in, trying to hide within society. And that doesn't sit right with him.
But unfortunately, the poor guy fell in love at first sight 😔. I think what he would do is pull off a mix of the Sugar Daddy and Papers Please scenario, but with a price to make it more...realistic for you e.g. asking for rent once you've settled in. He doesn't want to come as overly suspicious, you know?
Karma will also try and bring José into the mix to get some information from you. After all, not everyone shares everything to someone in one day! Plus, it gives him a chance to casually spy on you on the city cameras + search you up online LOL.
Now, if he can't find your information on the Internet, in databases, etc...then that would definitely raise alarms in his head. How the hell does someone so cute, adorable, and clueless have nothing on file? Karma will then dig deeper and deeper until he reaches the bottom of the iceberg - which causes him to lose sleep, raise his stress levels, and just make him a bit paranoid of you. How could you defy the technology of this world?!?!?
And thanks to all these unanswered questions bubbling up, Karma will begin to have such an obsessive nature over you that you'll quickly notice. The fact that your breakfast is just the way you like it, the fact that you hear soft footfalls in the home you both live in...and even the fact that Karma listens so attentively in your conversations!
Then one day, when you can't take it anymore (or when the situation calls for it), you reveal who you are and where you come. And when Karma finally has his answers - he'll let out a long laugh, a hearty chuckle, and peculiar smile.
Because to him, your words bring a comforting truth:
That you have no one else in this world but him.
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sad-trekkie-life · 12 days ago
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Long post. Rant. Open for discussion.
I’m complaining here because I actually LIKED the episode, it’s one of the episodes I have mixed feelings about. It’s kind of my personal favourite, or a guilty pleasure.
I’ve watched Metamorphosis (s2e9). It has some incredible moments. The poetic “I became a human just to touch you”, monologue about love of Kirk, the lighting and aesthetics of the set of the episode are exceptionally pleasing.
Although the idea, the concept, and the plot are vulnerably charming, it lacks logical reasoning in some crucial moments. And not only because it was made in 1960s.
First, an underrated moment:
Zefram being angry and disgusted that he has romantic relationship with an alien, Kirk and Bones being visibly upset about his reaction. Bones started protecting this relationship immediately, while Kirk suddenly became quiet and looked down while usually he’s quite vocal about injustice. Because Spock is an alien, and Kirk and Spock are very close, so for me it was a moment showcasing the affection of Kirk towards Spock and that Zefram’s reaction was taken personally by Kirk.
Here are some points that DID NOT bother me although DID BOTHER other fans:
- Companion possessing the body of Hedford. For me it does have a body horror element, but I do like this, because it’s… Very alien. Hedford was dying, and she expressed that she wanted to feel love, and she did express some interest in Zefram. Since Companion is able to communicate telepathically, I am pretty sure Hedford was ok with that, either that, either that she was dead already… Which is dark, yes, but kinda cool? In a pure fiction moment, you know what I mean? Now, Hedford can experience love she yearned, and be healthy, and Companion can be a human, win/win for both. Although I’d love to have a scene showing the consent. Bit IMO it’s more of a gray/alien morals issue.
- “Women didn’t make a choice”. I disagree here. Companion did make a choice herself. Kirk simply was explaining that she can’t hold the captive, I mean… love is a self sacrifice, and holding them captive is wrong.
Here are some points that DID BOTHER me:
1) “The alien is a girl! It changes everything!”
First, let’s state the obvious — males are able to love too, no? But. Even though the translator made them sound like a girl, characters still don’t know what gender/sex for this creature means. In fact to me it’s rather sexless/genderless. Didn’t it occur to the characters that the creatures all could just sound female or maybe the alien chooses to be female or male depending on their mood?
2) Even if they are a woman, it doesn’t mean they don’t see Zefram as a pet. Why does it automatically mean they see him as a love interest? Ladies can’t have pets? But at least thanks for Spock highlighting the difference of attitude toward them to Zefram. Couldn’t they just leave the moment like this instead of focusing on her gender?
3) Didn’t it occur to you, Kirk, that the alien could see Zefram as a child? They are much powerful then any human can be, they could see Zefram as someone who’s weak and small, therefore in need of protection.
4) Love is such a broad concept. The creature cared for Zefram. Doesn’t matter if they cared because they saw Zefram as a child, pet, lover, a friend. They could just simply love and care without giving their relationship any labels. Kindness and mercy are very strong feelings and motivation.
5) The creature is also lonely, or can be lonely. So it became affectionate towards an intelligent being mostly because of this reason.
AND.
This plot hole could be fixed with one simple moment:
That Zefram felt that every time he and Companion are symbiotic he experiences that he just has had sex. Trickorder could show that something like reproduction/lovemaking is happening there. Sex is referenced in ST quite often & straightforward so why didn’t they reference it there?
Bones could say “hmmmm it seems like Zefram experiences… Some biological processes”.
Even if lovemaking slightly implied by how Zefram reacts, they could better focus on this instead of saying “it’s a woman so she loves him”. Just simply cut the line of “oh she’s a woman”.
The show quite often explores love and affection in its different rich forms, most notably of Spock & Kirk. T’hy’la is also an example, but it might not be exactly fair for me to mention it as the term was invented later. But my point stands: it would be such an interesting topic to explore, as it was explored previously on the show. The City Edge Of Forever’s “you belong by his side” quote comes to mind. Even the famous Amok Time showcases that love could even over-win the Vulcan biology. Also, aliens could have different morals, concepts, even emotions, which is also an interesting topic to think about.
Idk just wanted to rant. At least it’s very aesthetically appealing and has some objectively great moments.
Kinda wish there could be the copy of episode with all the issues fixed so it could be a perfect beautiful episode that wouldn’t require me to switch off my critical thinking to enjoy it fully.
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weebsinstash · 1 year ago
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I was wondering, would Mayday tell the difference between us the the YouTwo?? Cuz from the movie she looks very perceptive and smart enough, so I can’t help but wonder if she could tell when it’s us or YouTwo?
For example; we probably blow on her stomach to make her laugh whenever we greeted her. But YouTwo? She just holds her at arms length and looks at her like she’s a disease
And probably Peter B Parker would know it’s us or not??
I like the idea that certain people and especially the more animal-based Spiders can always kind of inherently tell who's who just by smell alone, but also, something I think I haven't utilized in many of my ideas yet is the Spidey Sense. You can lowkey just spidey vibe check someone and kind of tell or sense stuff about them? And like I dunno if I'm misinterpreting the scene but didn't Miles also have certain visions with some of his Spidey Sense episodes like in the first movie, he has visions of the spider being an alchemax spider just before he meets Blonde Peter, or, idk, he saw visuals with his Spidey Sense
Like sidebar but the whole, kind of vision thing, imagine you're extremely stressed and have you know maybe been doing some self harming stuff and Peter B sees you're going through it one day and, you're actually about to open up to him when you experience the Spidey vision/premonition of, you tell him and he immediately goes and tells Miguel, and you realize oh he's kind of a snitching bastard ain't he (but it's for your own good he promises he's just worried about you kiss kiss uncle Pete loves ya)
But no, I was maybe thinking, YouTwo pops up and Reader is going through their 'beginning a depressive episode' shit and you can tell YouTwo is new and freaked out and, well, it's real easy to see yourself in, well, yourself, and you're like "hey I know what it feels like to feel alone, maybe you could, hang out with this friend of mine, just this once" and you give some tips on how to act around them and, maybe the more you get depressed and feel useless, you actually let them take over more and more and it's when they have some decent "power" that they start actively replacing you and messing with you and trying to kick you out and get rid of you for real
Reader, who is also feeling aimless and depressed: hey other me, why don't you go hang out with this buddy Pavitr of mine, he has this healing energy--
YouTwo: *gets along well with Pavitr and he winds up inviting other friends of yours and YouTwo makes their own independent plans with all of them, basically assimilating deep into your entire friend group and giving themselves more opportunities to steal your friends and more people, and also these hangouts become later 'proof' aka "well im the real one and i can prove it, hey Pavitr remember when we--"*
Reader: hmmmm definitely don't like that!
But no just. Picture Peter B one day finds a little bruise on Mayday, maybe a few of them, and he noticed her temperament is a little different. He can just TELL something is wrong and so can her mother Mary Jane, and Peter thinks, well, there's really not many times she's even out of his sight, ALTHOUGH he DID let 'you' babysit a few times. And at first he wants to play it off, "oh you're just inexperienced with babies and Mayday can be a total handful, you probably just made a mistake" and 'you' even lie and say, maybe it was another kid or Spider animal who got to her when 'you' had barely turned your back
But Peter B gets a little tiny baby monitor/listening device gadget, like a little hard plastic keychain that looks innocent and is ultra durable, and he attaches it to Mayday anyways, just to find out definitively what's happening, and he's with Miguel one day making idle chit chat and they can just hear 'you' over the baby monitor, "why does he keep leaving you with me. I don't even like you, you nasty little monster" and Peter B is just sort of like. ":) haha I'm sure they're. They're joking. They're totally joking" and there's just a series of *yelp* "did you just fucking bite me? Little BITCH!" *Mayday cries out and starts bawling* "yeah you're lucky that's all you get, my parents used to do way worse to me--"
Cue Peter B and Miguel bursting into the room because both fathers are understandably ENRAGED because 1. Dude have 'you' been hurting Parker's literal actual baby and 2. This is not the person they thought it was. Oh SHIT is this not the right person they thought it was
Peter B eventually meets up with you, the real you again, because sometimes i imagine Reader just quietly moves to a normal part of Nueva York and you hand your Spidey life over to YouTwo, and youre understandably a little hateful and dont want to talk to him, but he kinda just, deposits his baby into your arms. Hes gonna baby test ya and see if youre the real one. Mayday just is totally relaxed in your arms, which are noticeably much more careful holding her than your double was because Peter B actually showed you how to hold a baby, and she also has a bandaid on her hand from scratching it against something and you're just like "oh no, you got a little boo boo 🥺 why does your DUMB DADDY keep bringing you around places you can get hurt" and Peter B is like "well ok I think that's a little uncalled for but this one is definitely the real one"
Peter B is then at the front of the Anti YouTwo lynchmob because "that fake HURT MY BABY, Miguel!" which of course wins over a bunch of other formerly skeptical Spiders. You think Jess would ever give YouTwo a second chance? Fuck that, she's not gonna trust some temperamental monster around her baby whenever it's born! Meanwhile Spider Cat who can't talk is over here like "yeah well why do you think I kept biting them, they're a fake 🙄 you see this bullshit, Spider Miette" "jail for faker, jail for faker for one thousand years--"
The Spider Society finally 'gets you back' all "and arent you so happy things can just go back to normal again :)" and you're like "uhhh no fuck you guys, I'll live here but only because you don't give me any other option, the only ones of you I still trust anymore are the animal Spiders, the little kids, Hobie the realest bitch in here who never doubted me, and the toys, isn't that right special edition neon funko pop Miles Morales"
One day after YouTwo has replaced you they get too comfortable thinking everyone is always never once going to question or doubt them anymore and some absolutely heinous shit comes out of their mouth and like they get the social equivalent of one of those Telltale or Fallout video game HUDS pop up, "EVERYONE disliked that" "Miguel will remember that" "social karma lost"
YouTwo, not realizing you did one last thing to fuck them over on the way out: oh hey it's that Hobie guy that's been gone for ages, the real me told me the special password to let him know I'm the real one was "blue lives matter"?
the second that shit comes out of YouTwo's mouth he instantly knows as well as literally anyone around who knows Hobie now knows that's the fake you. YouTwo gets some real life ass [YOU CANNOT FAST TRAVEL WHEN THERE ARE HOSTILES IN YOUR AREA] as Hobie and everyone else for that matter instantly goes into full "I can't kill you but I can beat your ass" mode
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g0g0at · 2 months ago
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Malevolent part 47
Oooh let’s go
What is that sound???
Thank you for the exact hours Yorick, I’ll be putting that to good use
Oh one of those medieval prison things.
A gibbot? Joyous name mmm
Are we about to get a sick fic esc episode?
Arthur talking about the air again… he’s been doing that a lot this season…
John shaking Arthur “REST GODDAMNIT!!
Bro straight up has the plague
“If Arthur says he’s fine, he’s fine” NO THAT IS NOT TRUE FOR HIM
John is being so understanding
John pep talk
“He was just a man” he also SUCKED
Arthur you’re not a bad person for this my guy
Probably would be dead otherwise ngl
“I don’t have an answer that will make you feel better”
John is already human
I mean you can try but the plague is contagious
“You know what the right path forward is” I mean mostly
“Thanks you keeping us alive” part 2
Hehe John bragging a little
Oh witches hand?
Welp. Time to desecrate a corpse
ARTHUR SHOULD NOT CLIMB HIGH PLACES!! NOT WITH HIS FALLING OFF OF THINGD HISTORY!!
Yorick you’re being sneaky…
Why did I know he was gonna say eye?
Eye gouging time again 😔
Hand of Malevolen(t)ce
“I am in no rush” ok Yorick thanks
Is he seriously climbing this
Couldn’t he tip it?
The laughing cough BAHAHHA
“There are no wrong answers in brain storming” sounds like my highschool teachers
Shame he doesn’t have an axe
How are you gonna get the pin? Shake it?
John has had enough of being dead named
Haha! Rocks!
How good is your aim?
Hey he hit it! John sounds so proud
Wii Golf
Alexander heyo
Alexander please don’t eat the eyes
ALEXANDER STOP THAT!
“I scared him away 😞 “
Is Alexander actively against Yorick?
Bro is calling himself a nerd 💀
For someone “not good at athletics” he’s good and running a such
“You wanted to fit in” HEY HEY HEY
“If they could see me now” *throws rocks at a corpse*
WHAT WAS THAT
Was that John tapping the cage to guide him? That’s a new trick
Mist creature
Oh no split decision
And another hole!
RIGHT NOW?!! WHY NOW?!!
YORICK PRIORITIES PLEASE
Oh dear
This is not good
Arthur you are “folding” again
Black candle?
Dark magic…
Oh dear dark world shit
What is happening
Did it get rid of the creature?
Oh the vanguard and yorick are seperate?
Hmmm
Interesting…
Hey he called him John
Yorick lore
I thought the antithesis was gonna be “the hand of god” ngl
Oh that’s actually useful af
Haha it was the owl!
Lilith? Sent by Kayne maybe?
Oh ok nvm
Arthur is just getting chased by every second outer god oml
Shape shifters…
Maybe Arthur needed to die for whatever reason
Who is she…
Limited uses AUGHHHHH
SCRATCH
Is John hearing those whispers?
Oh dear
Ok ok so. Alexander is or works for Scratch. But if Arthur is her “favourite”. Then…
Mmmm maybe Arthur NEEDED to die and come back, for some reason
Oooh this episode has so much lore
Can you bluff a god like that??
Maybe don’t confront her…
Double lie
I mean you guys are both ok at lying
Arthur is struggling
Oooh ok it’s starting to make sense
So you only gotta worry about her if she’s nearby that’s some benefit
John and Yorick bonding moment?
John saying he’s projecting and that he thought Yorick was a mistake… does that mean… does that mean John thinks that he’s also a mistake?
“Purely for appearances” yeah ok
Very poetic, my friend
Looks like we’re ramping up to the final season(s)
“We’ll stare it down” well… John will
Yeah play it up! Arthur’s acting skills have improved since the train
John is getting excited too BAHHAHA
How close are you guys to the castle?
Oh they’ve all be cut down hmmmm
Mmmm storm environment
King Louis?
Was there an 8th Louis?
So we’re in a different timeline
That’s a LONG reign
King John hehhe
France and England become one country??
Oooooh world building
AYE CASTLE!!
Eeee I’m excited
Hopefully it’s not full of dead people like in Carcosa
“I know far too much, you will need to be more specific”
That’s a big question
He needs some cough drops
He sounds like he’s gonna pass out kinda
King in Yellow has some French influence, this’ll be interesting
Oh my god he needs some soup and cough drops
Yorick sounded kinda concerned for him there dang
Yeah probably better to rest in the castle than the rain
Cows might be difficult to fake
That cough sounds real (if Harlan recorded this while sick I guess it would be)
Gold ring, good choice
Lovely description from John
Oh is this castle fucked up
Good lord that is a horrid cough
Everart… that sounds familiar… oh that’s a disco elysium character
Oh my god he literally sounds like he’s dying
“Not the way you taught me”
He is mixed up HE HAS THE PLAGUE
“Lean on me” I thought he meant literally for a second ngl and was like “well good luck with that”
Let John handle it for a bit
Castle time!!!
Oh the sound design….
Is Yorick in the bag??? Doesn’t matter if he’s quiet if they can SEE HIM
Oh this sound design is AWESOME
Don’t get stabbed…
Oh WHAT
Of course the castle is fucked up why am I surprised
How does he eat? Does he? Fucked up castle
This imagery is nice
Maaaaaaaaan maybe this castle was a bad choice
AH CARCOSA MENTION
All righty castle time!!
Mmmm I’m nervous tho ngl
Oooh can’t wait for next week!! The castle!!
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nicegaai · 5 months ago
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im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3
anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.
Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition
Ch 1:
*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me
My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(
------------
Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH
Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*
"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh
LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell
I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder
FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB
"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny
GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((
Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png
Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 
Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much
Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion
Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this
EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now
Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T
Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 
Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 
TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life
Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???
OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 
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mars-ipan · 12 days ago
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hell yeah for the driving progress :D i still need to learn to myself lmao
for some random questions...
how's the prsk going? i've been distracted from it the last few days.
do you speak any other languages? any you'd want to learn?
any hot takes on DR you don't see talked about?
THANK YOU!!! it’s scary but i’m better at it than i think i am and also i Love My Car (veronica aka ronnie my darling <3333) so. progress yay!!
to answer your questions:
pretty solid! i haven’t been playing as much but i do my dailies (i want that 30 consecutive days title and then the fc grind goes until i stop having fun) i got up to master rank songs a few days ago and omg they are SO hard i always have trouble quickly reading charts with a bunch of hold notes in ‘em and “do shit with the hold notes” is basically the main gimmick so i’m getting. TURNED AROUND !!!! but it’s fun also. AND THESE EVENTS ARE BEING NICE TO ME MY GACHA LUCK IS IMPROVING !!! I’M PULLING MORE 4 STARS :D thank god for that i was gonna go crazy. i can finally start leveling non-vbs characters (almost have my birthday akito maxxed out tho… just need to get his skill up one more time <3)
i’m not fluent in any languages other than english BUT !!! i took 3 years of spanish in school and bc i live in texas i maintain enough of what i need to know to have a (very broken) conversation. i tried to learn japanese for a bit which WAS really fun but i have a hatred for duolingo and when it got to kanji i very quickly realized that there was no way in hell duolingo would be able to teach me kanji. so i haven’t been back since. i would love to properly learn japanese some day tho. and there is one more language i really wanna learn! that being german ^_^ my dad was stationed in germany when he was in the army in the 90s and it left an imprint on him so i grew up with a fair bit of german culture stuff (mostly food (i could fuck UP a bowl of saurkraut don’t even need anything else. though mustard is nice. ouugh and wurst i love german wurst)). like in my household it’s normal to say danke/bitte in place of thanks/you’re welcome. and i loveee the way german sounds. i was actually gonna take a college course on it! but uh . that was the semester i had to withdraw from </3 maybe i’ll try again tho i’ve been wanting to see what minors my school offers.
oh god dr hot takes . hmmmm. let’s see if this one works: i think a lot of western fans (americans especially) are Not Very Good at recognizing the cultural context that dr exists in. it is very much a story that is Set In Japan and western fans…. do not always get that. i think it can be fun to go “what if i viewed these characters through an american lense” (there is a reason priest au is set in the midwest. i wanted to see what they’d be like in american culture) but a lot of the time people will like… criticize the writing of the game over just. cultural misconceptions. nothing in particular is coming to mind right now for examples (which . kinda relieved i do not wish to invite discourse) but it is something i’ve seen in the fandom and i wish there were less of it. this even goes for the poor writing choices btw— like yes we can absolutely criticize kodaka for some of the writing choices/jokes he makes, but japan in 2010/2012 (my issues with v3 bias me too much to have good commentary wrt this and also iirc kodaka was less involved with the writing here) was not exactly the most progressive place. (neither was america btw but ppl don’t always like to admit that). so like one writer isn’t gonna be capable of being perfectly sensitive of everything— i doubt he even knew much about some of the things ppl criticize dangan about. am i saying he Did Nothing Wrong and everyone is being mean? no. there is some nasty shit in these games. but we gotta like. acknowledge that this was a series that started in japan in 2010, and nobody knew it was gonna take off and get translated to english. like english speakers are NOT the target audience n i feel like a lot of people forget that. the stories get so much more interesting when you consider them from a japanese cultural perspective imo. this isn’t ace attorney we can’t japanifornia it. it is Important that they are japanese because one of the main things danganronpa is is a Criticism Of The Japanese School/Work System. like it is integral. anywho i’ve rambled about that enough i think
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kaddyssammlung · 20 days ago
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There was a little "discussion" going on here on the ST confessions tumblr because of well...opinions about Sleep, again. XD
That made me think....
Did Vessel ever say that his songs are about Sleep?
This is a genuine question btw. I mean I have read every interview that we ever had but I could not find an answer. But maybe I am missing something?
The only thing that I could find was:
“He is the oldest God, a primal majesty that has endured the ages unperturbed by the morality of a flawed and chaotic human race.....he showed me a vision of a world filled with depth and texture.”
When I feel into this I get damn angry. I don't think this was “a God” but something evil that presented itself as “God”. I wrote about entities and to me Sleep is this...an entity. But that's just my way of seing this. I'm not here to convince anyone of something. It's taken from my knowledge that I have because of the energy work sessions that I do. But I have no way of knowing what really happend. It's just an assumption that I have. And also my assumptions vary.
I like to interpret the lyrics in multiple ways. And also the more I listen the more connections I make. My connections are mostly based on my own experiences that I had in life.
I don't want to limit myself. I mean you can do whatever you want to. And also you can take one line and interpret it in 10 different ways. I see nothing wrong with that.
He does sing about abuse quite a lot and I have no idea who did that to him. When I look at my own life then I experienced a lot of abuse. I only let this happen because I was used to it since early childhood.
Maybe it's the same for him? That abuse could come from a parent, a caretaker, an ex-lover, an addiction,......so many things. The perspective is also not always clear. Maybe he was the one doing it sometimes?!
I have no way of knowing this.
Some fans out there are almost trying to make you see the lyrics the way that they see the lyrics. They try to impose their ideas on you. This happens not so much on tumblr btw. I've seen this in the places where a lot of fans come together such as the big subreddit and discord for example
Ikd...it's all just ego-driven behaviour. I understand that....we all that do that...I'm not better then anyone else. I'm aware of it but not always and also not always able to stop what I do despite being aware of it.
So...hmmmm....
I'm not attacking anyone btw.
I just wanted to give you my opinion.
Lately I don't even want to write down opinions anymore XD....seems so ego-driven. It is ego-driven actually. All of this is actually quite ego-driven. Damn it..... Taking a step back and just feeling into the music is the best thing that I can do some days. Not analyze anything or think about what it could mean: just feel. The problem?! I start to sob so damn much then. Which is good...whatever...I could write so much more about how feeling something is more important then to analyze it but I leave it at that for now.
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grigori77 · 1 month ago
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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 113
A five hour episode? Oh yeah, that means it's gonna be a serious one. I'm already nervous ...
What the hell is this? Oh dear gods this is bizarre ... Sam, you are a strange one ... okay, I'm sorry, watching Robbie through this bit is SO WILD ... his expressions are always so priceless ... and suddenly it's all like THIS ... weird shit ... that one was ... just ODD ...
Critmas music? Interesting ...Sam: "SOME of us can sing!" Yeah ...
"Secrets in your boxers?" Please, I never have to hear that line uttered ever again. Like EVER. Please ...
So we're still in the company of Vox Machina? Okay, then ... wonder if this might be their very final adventure together? It worries me, knowing what they're going up against ...
Meanwhile Scanlan has to let his current crew down easy ... wait ... YOU DID WHAT, Scanlan? O.O Samuel Tiegle, DO NOT do that to us ... we know this gnome is a little bit of a wrong-un, but he's never been THAT wrong ...
"Keg"? Oh, so we're introducing a character JUST to send them off? Interesting ... yeah, I figured Grog would probably like Kent ... wow, this bunch are just a bunch of frat boys, ain't they?
Who gave Sam coconut shells? Ye gods ...
Good point ... IS THIS the new Scanlan Shorthalt? Is he staying like this? Would it be easier for him to change back, or is there time for him to change back?
Now we're having a conversation about Scanlan pooping. I love these people so much ... XD
He has ZERO Dexterity? Hmmmm ... maybe we should rethink this after all ...
Grog can make him some horse boots? Oh, that sounds like fun ...
Yes. Time to go. Going through a tree, then. Back to Vasselheim. This is getting to be a second home for them now, isn't it?
Checking in for the night, then. Okay ...
Catching up, then? Oh, Keyleth and Percy ... I mean, yeah, these two have been together the longest, haven't they? The best of besties, I've missed this ... but yeah, also ... very heartfelt, of course ... they do need this ...
I love how Percy calls Keyleth "an investment in their children's future" ... that could sound a bit weird coming from anybody else. With these two it's just CUTE ... :3
Trinket? Oh, okay ... WHICH one is this? Is it the original? Oh my gods IT IS ... O.O ... poor ancient bear ...
Ah ... yes ... the Vax situation ...
Only Vex could wish ill on the Matron and actually GET AWAY with it ... XD
Awwwww ... sweet old bear cuddle-buddy ... I imagine he's quite stinky, but it's still sweet ...
Oh my gods ... is Scanlan trying for a booty call? With GROG asleep in the room? This could be interesting ... oh, okay ... wow, yeah, she's just LETTING HIM HAVE IT, isn't she? Don't go easy on him, Pike! He doesn't deserve it!
Meat Man Imports & Sexports ... snort ... LOL
He's being relegated to AN EXTRA BED?!!! Oh my ...
Grog pretending to sleep fools NOBODY. I love it.
Boy, that is an AWKWARD sleeping arrangement for a centaur, clearly ...
Wow, Cerkonos is kind of a secret Scanlan superfan, that's hilarious. "the Scanman"? Oh my fucking gods ... LOL
Early morning arrives ... okay ...
Travis just rolled a lethal death roll for Chetney! O.O But he's GROG right now ... does it count? Somewhere on Ruidus Chetney just felt a chill run down his spine like somebody walked over his grave, I swear ...
The various preparations of the arrayed forces, getting ready for the day ahead ... hmmmmmmmm ...
Nice, so the Pale Guard are basically like Sharp's Rifles? That's pretty cool, I can't deny ...
A summons for Kiki? Okay, then ...
Massive brass-scaled dragon? Oh yeah, awesome ...
The Stratos Throne? Really? That's a big deal ... O.O ... AND Aeshanandoor? Don't those guys HATE each other right now? Interesting they're playing nice for the effort ...
Oh yeah, EVERYBODY'S here right now ... it's a big deal all right ...
Lieve'tel? Oh ... OH, a guest? OH OKAY!!! LIam's back! So THIS is who he's playing ...
Nice ... so we got a real badass super-goth elven dominatrix type helping them out in this one, then? Nice ... yeah, this is a great one for Liam to play, definitely ...
So she already knows Bertrand's gone? Yeah, okay ...
Yeah, so please be aware I haven't had a chance to get round to The Search For Grog or The Search For Bob yet, so I'm NOT familiar with this particular character ... but she seems REALLY COOL ...
Wow ... yeah, she's just REALLY INTENSE, isn't she? Like I said, I'm really liking her already ...
Judicators? Oh, okay then ... nice to have them on OUR SIDE for once ...
Ophera? Cool ... yeah, she's really cool too ... and THIS is a very neat trick, too ... yeah, she's definitely a whole lot better at big entrances than Keyleth ...
Celestials? SERIOUSLY?!!! Holy fuck! O.O Oh yeah, this is just ALL the big guns right now!
Oh okay ... Keyleth's turn to make a fancy speech? Hmmmm ... PLEASE roll good for this delivery, Marisha ... Matthew, you are NOT doing anything for our girl's confidence right now ... oh yes, nice going, Vex ... that's JUST what she needs right now ...
Yeah ... okay, that's a strong start already ... yes. YES. Nice. That's it. Be a woman for the people. And ... "FUCK SHIT UP!!!" Oh boy ... XD ... yeah, that's more like it ... THAT'S our girl. :3
A single raven? Oh my gods ...
Inspirational Leader? Nice ... oh yeah, that is REALLY nice! Way to go, Kiki!
Nice to have a broomstick handy for running speedy errands ...
And now it's a massive SILVER dragon ... okay ... O.O
Allura! Yay! Always nice to see her! :3
Oh, so they're going in via skyship? Cool. I wonder which one THEY'RE gonna ride in on? What are the chances, hmmm? Or might that be a little TOO on the nose?
Well yeah, I mean Grog would've been FINE with just jumping headfirst into a crazy suicide attack like that, but ...
Yeah, probably best to leave Trinket behind for this one ...
Speak With Animals! Yay! Awwwwww ... and OF COURSE he still wants to go with her ... he's so sweet ... and yeah, he's still tough, of course he is ... all right, let the ancient bear come ...
Thank fuck Sam isn't ACTUALLY drinking out of that horrific looking thing, that is UNSIGHTLY!!! Travis: "It's like melted plastic mixed with decay!" Sweet fuck that is NIGHTMARE FUEL ... Sam: "I mean it's been cleaned, like, A LOT, but it hasn't worked!"
"Battlestar season 3"? Okay ... yeah, so they're all just going STRAIGHT INTO that shit, then ... so a retroactive Heroes' Feast is probably a good idea, then ... yeah ...
Wow ... yeah ... D&D maths ... always fun ...
Oh ... so Cerkonos LIKES Lieve'tel? Okay, then ... so no matter what, Robbie's just DETERMINED to romance Liam's characters, clearly ... XD
Fucking hell ... Grog has around THREE HUNDRED HIT POINTS right now? O.O Sweet fuck ...
Archivist Seth Domade? Okay, then ... yeah, this just got interesting ... I mean OF COURSE he's curious about what's happening with the Nein AND the Hells ... oh yeah, our boy is FLUSTERED right now ... Essek, be cool right now, boy ...
Holy shit ... HOW LONG did it take them to realise that this is Essek in disguise? DEAR FUCKING GODS, people! LOL You do know you spent TWO WHOLE SESSIONS traveling with this guy ...
Verin Thelyss? Oh, interesting ... are they related? THEY ARE?!!! So this is Essek's BROTHER? Intriguing ...
Oh, so he's a little bit of a geek? I like that. That's quite adorable. And I think he might be a little sweet on Vex ...
Ah, poetry... yeah ... LOL
Allura informs us the Nein and the Hells are now IN POSITION on Ruidus ... okay, then ... time to make a move, then ...
Matt: "The symbol of war has been triggered." Oh my ...
Fuck ... PLEASE let Percy and Vex get back alive to their kids.
The hoof boots? And somehow Travis rolls a 24 on his performance for their construction ... holy shit ... apparently they're completely PERFECT ... O.O
More Percy and Keyleth cuteness ... :3
Power Word Fortify ... and Death Ward? Lieve'tel bestows MASSIVE magical gifts upon Kiki and Vex ... and then she just goes RIGHT AHEAD and makes the first move on Cerkonos. Awwwwwww ... and he HAS to make it awkward. But she likes it ... XD
I fucking knew it ... OF COURSE they're riding with Xandis. LOL ... I love this ridiculous tiefling so much, I swear ...
So ... a fuckton of arcane portals, then ... this is it ...
"Majestic as fuck" ... Grog's awesome cape ... in his own words, of course ... XD
Awwwwwww ... Bertrand, we miss you still, you fantastic old bugger ...
So ... through into clustered shadow ... all right, what have you got in store for us, Matthew? O.O
Oh okay, that's a dramatic mess we're flying into ... and that's it, the first shots come in ... yup, that's it, it's all kicking off ...
Strength saves all round? Okay, first real rolls of the night! Roll good, guys! 33? Holy fuck, Grog ... he's stupid strong even now ...
Three crooked winged creatures coming out of the sky? Oh boy ... FUCK Vex is still a thoroughly EVIL shot ... Hunter's Mark that shit, girl! Yeah!
So Scanlan and Grog are the most prominent targets? SHIT ... I mean OF COURSE Grog succeeds his strength check, but Scanlan is now being CARRIED OFF by one of these things! Shit! O.O
Percy: "Drop the horse!" And yeah, No Mercy's still just as lethal a shot as the Missus ... BOOM!!! And the centaur is free once more ...
Path To the Grave? Fuck, Lieve'tel is a bit SCARY in combat ...
Kiki tries a Whirlwind attack on them ... yup, that proves impressively effective ... fuck, that thing just got PUMMELLED ... right into Grog's reach ... he swings his Bloodaxe TWICE ... and just SHREDS the beastie ...Oh yeah, that's TOTALLY the HDYWTDT ... fucking hell, he just EVISCERATES this thing ...
Oh yeah! Silver Dragon for the WIN!!! Nice one ...
Keyleth tries to take a look over the side and just gets BLINDED by flying dust ... yup, that's a bout right ...
Ah, so ... still a way to go, yet ...
Shit! DODGE!!! QUICK!!!
Well that was close ... and sounds like it could've been SERIOUSLY HAIRY if it had hit ... and then we see it hit another ship ... and it just NEUTRALISED the brumestone? FUCK!!! That's SO FUCKING BAD!!! Yeah, don't let ANY of THAT shit hit you, guys!
Air Ashari FLY!!! Oh, and Cerkonos can do that too? Oh, he can do ALL the elelments like Kiki? Sweet! So he's going too, then ... go help! Quick! Save who you can!
Yes! Save Verin Thelyss! Quick!
Oh nice! That's some SEXY FLYING there, Vex!
Okay, looks like this might be working ... and SOMEHOW they BARELY miss taking another hit ... get them off as fast as you can, guys!
Inspire THEM, not HIM! Pronouns, Scanlan! And somehow Sam makes a really embarrassing (and very classic Shorthalt piece of work) strangely inspiring for Xandis ...
Yeah, that's some pretty sweet flying, you spectacular tiefling!
Wow ... that was just a BEAUTIFUL save ... yeah, they got 'em off safe, just in time ... meanwhile the faling ship goes down SPECTACULARLY ...
Time to get ready to JUMP? All right, then ... GO!!!
Blessing of the Dawnfather? Oh, that's pretty sexy too ... I didn't even know Vex had that one in her! O.O
Thank fuck for Featherfall ...
Grog and Pike are getting SHOT AT?!!! Fuck ... O.O ... Word of Radiance? Yeah, that's a nice save, Lieve'tel! JUST too late, but still ... so Pike manages to dodge, but Grog takes a full-on HIT ... crap ... but he's Raging, so it's not TOO BAD ... but that's STILL a whole lot of Force damage even so ... and that's one ROUGH FUCKING LANDING ...
Oh, so it's already ALL GOING OFF in this place? Okay then ...
Cerkonos shows he's as much of a badass as the others as he comes down ... and yeah, that poor bastard is impaled and INCINERATED ... meanwhile our boy achieves a perfect superhero landing ...
Wait ... so the gunner is LITERALLY PONDERING THEIR ORB?!!! XD
No Mercy Percy strikes again!
Touchdown, then! They're on the ground and taking in what's going on now ... oh yeah, this is just pure fucking CHAOS right now ... the batle is just full-on KICKING OFF ... and THIS is where Matt chooses to call a break ...
Holy shit ... that is a MASSIVE Battlemap this time round ... yeah, the appreciative gasps and roars as they wander mback in to take it in are duly ENTHUSIASTIC, and rightly so ...
Setting up where everybody is ... and it's all just pure CHAOS right now, clearly ...
Oh, so now Keyleth's a FIRE elemental? Matt scrambles to acquire ANOTHER figure to represent her ...
So it's time, then. ROLL INITIATIVE!!!
Vex kicks it all off, then ... she casts a 4th Level Hail of Thorns, with her Blazing Bowstring and Sharpshooter ... wow ... that's a monster combination if ever I heard one ... so she goes for a Reiloran Juggernaut! Nice ... fuck, that's a lot of damage, plus it definitely rings his bell for him ... meanwhile all the regular guys surrounding him are just ANNIHILATED ... ouch ... so she takes ANOTHER shot ... oh yeah, she is SUPREMELY fucking this guy up ...
Scanlan clops up on his coconuts and Inspires Cerkonos ... with a bit of Chappell Roan? Nice ... :3 ... Reverse Gravity? Oh, that's DEVIOUS ... Out of the whole group only ONE manages to make a save so now there's a whole bunch of guys just FLOATING UP INTO THE SKY!!! Holy shit ...
Wow, those Kryn fighters are just BADASS, they're cutting folk TFU ...
Percy steps over the wall and encounters his first Reiloran ... oh, that's nice, so his walking stick turned into a brutal little MURDER BATON ... he shakes off the attempt to fry his brains with psychic energy and slashes them up ... it's hurt, but it's TOUGH, looks like this one's going to take some work ... oh, but his sword has A GUN IN IT ... Matt: "Go go gadget Pepperbox!" POW!!! Now the Reiloran is BURNING!!!
Grog charges up to the guy who's trying to hang on ... and manages to get HIMSELF caught in the spell? Shit! Somehow he manages to catch hold of himself, at least ... and takes a few big hacks at the other guy ... Great Weapon Master? Oh boy, here we go ... oh yeah, Grog kills the guy ON THE SPOT and then he just pinwheels up into the air spraying his insides all over as he goes! Ye gods! O.O
Keyleth jumps from one platform to the next, starts laying about with her fists, the burning Reiloran instantly incinerating under her pummelling onslaught! Oof ... then she runs off in the direction they need to go, setting another attacker on fire as they try to strike at her while she goes.
Lieve'tel summons a Planar Ally, specifically a massive white three-headed raven (literally Holy fuck!), then Tolls the Dead, aiming for the Juggernaut ... and that's a wrap on the big guy! HIs head essentially EXPLODES inside his helmet ... fucking hell ... so she just goes riding off on her big birdy, going to hover over Keyleth.
Oh great ... Scanlan is now being SWARMED by Slithers ... O.O ... oh yeah, they're just GNAWING on him right now! Fuck ... thankfully only TWO of them do any actual damage, but still ...
Crap ... what's this? Oh, I get it, that mut be one of those hive-mind psychic mothers ...
Meanwhile those poor bastards spinning in the air just CONTINUE to spin in the air ... XD ... crap ... now Keyleth is as well, unfortunately ...
Pike chucks a 5th Level Guiding Bolt at the Ball ... okay, this is it, then ... 22 points of damage? Hmmmm ... it CRACKS, but it's still definitely very INTACT ... nuts ...
Cerkonos screams: "Scanman! NOOOOOOO!!!" leaps into the air and casts Wall of Fire around Scanlan, torching the Slithers attacking him. Three of them are reduced to cinders, and the rest are at least SEVERELY charred ... then he just BAMFS next to Pike ...
Vex takes a shot at the Ball, using Sharpshooter ... NAT20!!! Yes! Crit that bitch! Oh, that's a whole lot more cracks in it now ... but she's just got herself directly MARKED by whatever that force is overlooking it ... but her SECOND shot SHATTERS the Ball on the spot! YESSSSSSS!!!
Scanlan casts Thunderwave as 2nd Level, trying to bash some of the Slithers off ... he turns two of them into jelly on the spot! Meanwhile he drops his spell ... and everybody up in the air too! Grog manages to avoid getting crushed, while all but two of them just go SPLAT when they hit the ground around him. Meanwhile Scanlan disengages, trying to use Cutting Words to get rid of the remaining Slither still grappling him ... and breaks free! Phew ...
Fucking hell ... what fresh hell is THIS?!!! O.O ... a battle vidulch? Oh my gods that is fucking TERRIFYING!!! Oh shit, TWO OF 'EM?!!! Shit! They start laying about and IMMEDIATELY start doing major damage to friends and foes alike ...
Shit ... in a single turn, the attacking vidulch manages to COMPLETELY DESTROY Keyleth's Fire Elemental form ... O.O
Percy opens fire with Animus on some of the Vanguard, only for his gun to blow up in his hands! Ouch ... repairing iton the spot, he starts firing again, wiping out one in the process.
Grog uses his Boots (not BOOBS) of Feral Leaping to mount the nearst vidulch, then starts swinging blows into it with his axe ... oh yeah, he's just CHOPPING CHUNKS out of this thing! It's trying to shake him off but he's definitely cutting his way into it already.
Oh no, bad ideas are never REALLY bad ideas ... Keyleth attempts to Dominate the vidulch in front of her? Holy fuck ... O.O ... that's the question, IS IT a beast or is it a MONSTER? She can't tell ... so she tries a Firestorm instead! Oh boy ... whoa, SEVEN D10 of Fire damage? Holy shit ... 48 Fire damage? Wow ... it hurts the vidulch, as well as incinerating a bunch of Reilora and Vanguard. Unfortunately she also takes out three Kryn soldiers with friendly fire ... oof ... then she transforms into an Earth Elemental and burrows down under the ground, coming up on the other side of the vidulch.
DEVILS? Seriously? Is this good or bad? Wait ... who's this ... holy fuck is that OPAL?!!! Fucking hell, my girl you're terrifying but also pretty awesome right now! She doesn't do any real damage, but she's still laying into the vidulch with some serious SAVAGERY!!!
Lieve'tel holds onto a Bless, waiting for her opportunity, aiming for Opal, Keyleth and herself.
Okay, now Grog is having a scrap with the Juggenaut on the back of the vidulch ... unbelievable! Oh hell, this big boy is definitely laying into him HARD right now ... and it has a Telekinetic Combo? Shit ... Grog hangs on, but it definitely batters him about ... so he just starts giving right back just as hard as he's taken ...
Pike chucks a Guiding Bolt at the vidulch at 4th Level, blasting it hard with a good chunk of Radiant damage. Staying put, she's immediately swarmed by a bunch of nasties, but she just batters them all off ...
Cerkonos, impressed by Scanlan's actions, turns himself into a Fire Elemental and funnels himself INTO THE ARMOUR of the nearer vidulch, setting it on fire FROM THE INSIDE!!! Holy shit!
Vex coasts over and starts peppering Pike's attacker with her arrows, wiping him out on the spot. Then she turns round and starts taking potshots at the vidulch, taking some of its legs out from under it.
Scanlan rushes up to the aid of the nearest angel, talling them: "I'm here to help!" before VOMITING Lightning at the nearer vidulch! O.O
Brass wings? Oh sweet! Here they come! Beautiful! Devossa strafes the devil and the vidulch with their fire, but since they're both immune to fire it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ... hmmmmm ... somewhat inticlimactic ...
Grog takes a big swing at the Juggernaut and just ANNIHILATES the fucker on the spot! Then he leaps off and goes for the Reiloran instead, using Great Weapon Master ... oh yeah, here we go ... yeah, he just SPLITS THE GUY IN HALF!!! He yanks out the spine from the bisected corpse as he walks away ...
Oh, okay ... yeah, due to retrospective thinking, Grog also manages to finish off the vidulch just before he jumps off ... okay, yeah, there we go, then! Meanwhile Scanlan congratulates CERKONOS for doing it? Hmmmm ...
Keyleth Calls Lightning at 4th Level, landing it right into the remaining vidulch ... oooh, dice math ... 27 points of Lightning damage ... yeah, it's looking pretty messy now ...
Okay, looks like everybody's just trying to kill this thing all together ... meanwhile more Vanguard are arriving! Shit ...
Oh, so Pike just got rescued by a demon? That must be weird for her ... especially when it growls: "Go, small god!" at her ...
Yeah, Opal just becomes TERRIFYING as she jumps on the vidulch, webs it up and then CARVES IT TO PIECES ... O.O ... holy shit ...
Time to book, then? Okay ... they all bundle together and rush into the centre of the fortress, heading for the Malleus Key ... and that's it for the night! Yeah, that's a good place to stop. I was getting pretty exhaunsted, that was a HEAVY SESSION ... but also a very satisfying one ...
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lostonehero · 10 months ago
Text
Ok fuck cannon for both series mech tma au
Also mech Martin as a treat
"W-wait." Jonny stopped holding up his hand before Nastya could set the dimension hop.
"The great Jonny d'Ville stuttering? Never thought I would see the day." Nastya rolls her eyes. "What's wrong? You want to get Martin, right?"
"I..." Jonny sighs and looks at Tim and then back to the rest of the crew and eventually Nastya. He fishes out a pair of glasses from his pocket.
"Smarts Jonny." Ivy raised her brow.
Jonny sighs and crosses his arms. "Tim and I have other versions of ourselves in that universe."
"So?" Raphaella quirks her brow. "Extra parts to experiment with."
"Not exactly." Jonny takes a breath. "Any universe or reality doesn't like copies and to remedy that well... we won't be able to stay here." He starts to motion his hands as his tail starts to lash back and forth. "The reality has a way to correct this, and that is to physically fuse myself with my alter, and the same will happen to Tim. I literally have no idea what that will even do."
Brian tilts his head. "So what you're saying that that there is a chance you'll both dissapear?"
"Not exactly, but kind of." Jonny shrugs, removing his glasses. "Eh, it's whatever just wanted to warn you fucks. Tim and I agreed to go through it. We all were already fucked around with the promise of actual death and waking up before, and who knows Martin's world goes through a literal apocalypse so that will be fun."
Tim nods. "We both have bets going on about how it works. I also get to go to a less advanced version of where I'm from. I really want to see what's that like. Also, I saved Bertie, and he got a long life, so I'm honestly fine with a true death."
Raphaella looks at both of them. "If both of you truly die, can I do an autopsy of your bodies to see what came over?"
"Why the fuck not? I don't give a shit I'll be dead." Jonny hums and raises a brow at Ashes. "What?"
"You'll be human." Ashes motions vaguely to his obvious status as not human.
"Huh." Jonny scratches his stubble. "I'll miss my tail if I remember any of it."
Tim snickers. "I'll be fine."
Ivy smirks. "What if your alternate has short hair?" She pauses. "Also, I want earth books."
"I have a new fear." Tim sighs.
Nastya pauses. "Are you sure?"
TS smiles. "I Think They Already Agreed. Bring Me Back A Earth Cat."
"You heard them let's fucking go." Jonny reached out and grabs Tim's hand. "I ain't living for the rest of time without Blackwood."
"Neither I am." Tim nods. "All speed ahead."
Nastya sighs. "This is a terrible idea, but if both of you still remain, I suppose stopping the apocalypse would please Aurora..... oh hmmmm." She puts the ship full throttle, and in an instant, Jonny and Tim vanish.
......
Martin woke up on his back, which honestly is the weirdest way he could wake up second to the alarm on his... he knew the word for the thing, but he couldn't recall it. He barely fumbled to turn off that obnoxious noise. What was a much more pressing manner was the fact his body was wrong, well correct but that was wrong. He can't recall when he had normal legs and feet... he could, but he would much rather forget the time before the good doctor got her hands on him. He was abnormal for a mechanism since his mechanism was organic in nature his lower half was that of a spider. Of course, he didn't hate it he wanted something different after that.
Ok, at the time, he thought himself a monster and tried to kill himself a multitude of times. He grew out of it. Obviously, it would have been a bleak eternity otherwise. He had a vague feeling of where he was, but the word peaches and worms came to mind. He kind of knew what that meant, but he was more so annoyed that this afterlife was basically before he became a mech. He had to figure out what he was doing.
Maybe if he went too... uh oh right the Magnus Institute, that's when he worked a normal job on earth. This was earth he hoped it wasn't in his head that this was some elaborate death dream because that would be a first. He should try to recall more of this if he is ever going to get through this weird afterlife. He hoped it was an afterlife because if not it meant that he wasn't dead, and he didn't want to do that without Jonny and Gunpowder Tim, and of course, the rest of the crew.
He got showered after figuring out the old-fashioned shower and got dressed in familiar clothes he didn't want to remember. He knew he had to remember, but he really didn't want to. He knew how this world worked. Public transport was easy, and soon, he arrived at the very institute that set everything in motion. What's that saying like a hover bike? Or a bicycle? He will remember what to do and go through the motions.
"You're late." A pretentious pompous voice sneered at Martin.
Martin paused, staring at the man studying him, and he reminded him of Jonny, and a name spilled from his lips. "Jon?"
"Did you hit your head on your way here? Of course I'm Jon." The short man shoved a stack of papers in his arms. "Get through these and try not to fall behind."
Martin frowns and takes the stack of statements. He knew they were statements. Some real some fake, and he had an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach that this wasn't the afterlife. He sat at his desk and stared at a computer, which he didn't recall the password for, and just started to read. He couldn't think about who he saw by him.
"Geez Marto, you ok?" That was Tim, not gunpowder, but Stoker. He was rubbing his eyes, but it was still him.
Martin knew the moment he saw her not corrupted by a thing that wore her skin poorly he might add he knew he wasn't in the afterlife and his death was a fucking lie. He wanted his final death with the rest of them. Did they also wake up before they became? Before the doctor got a hold of them? He takes a breath and sighs. "I'm fine." He forced himself to say. He noticed Tim was bleeding around his eyes. He chose to get up and wet some napkins to help.
"Tim, you really should see a doctor for that." Sasha frowns.
"I'm fine it's probably from my contacts. I'll wear my glasses, and the problem should clear up." Tim gives finger guns as his eyes water.
Martin sighs. "Tim, you're crying."
"Not emotionally." Tim snickers at his joke. "I'm fine. I probably just need rest and to get new contacts." His eyes stop watering after a moment, but it doesn't stop him from rubbing them like they ached.
Martin wasn't convinced, but he knew better than to push it normally got him shot or someone crying in his arms. He knew that didn't matter here. This place wasn't.... he wasn't home. "I'll make some tea for everyone."
"Thank you, Martin." Tim smiles as he rubs his eyes.
"Amazing as always." Sasha smiles.
Martin nodded and distracted himself with making tea. It didn't last long enough as he gave out the tea. He stepped into Jon's office, and he raised a brow at the scene he walked into. Jon was sitting on his knees in a chair not built for that position. "I made you some tea."
Jon nods, rubbing at his chest. "Right."
Martin paused and decided to push his luck. "Why are you sitting like that?"
Jon scowls and takes his mug of tea, and takes a sip. "My lower back aches, and it is worse if I sit normally. My painkillers haven't kicked in."
"Ah, alright, just be careful, alright." Martin smiles, hoping he was acting enough like he did before.
.....
Tim groans as he stares at the bottle of eye drops the doctor gave him. It did literally nothing. His eyes ached and burned, and no matter what he did, the pain wouldn't go away. It's been two weeks, and it's only gotten worse, and he hasn't been able to do anything to relieve it.
He used the heels of his hand and pressed them into his eyes for any sort of relief that wouldn't come. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong and called him basically crazy because there was nothing wrong with his eyes. He knew something was wrong. He knew something was happening.
Tim was desperate. If the eye pain wasn't enough, he was starting to have weird dreams of a man with mechanical eyes. They would talk, and Gunpowder, the other guy picked that name. Don't ask him why it suited him. The memories... no dreams, he keeps having to correct himself. The dreams Gunpowder tells him are his memories, and he apologizes for them all the time. At one point, these memories became his own, but the only thing it did was make Gunpowder more solid in his mind.
Tim liked Gunpowder he was kind and a bit odd, but he didn't feel alone. He hasn't felt seen or known since his brother. Fuck he really missed Danny.
"You have his memories."
Tim nearly fell backward. That was Gunpowder, but he was awake if the pain was anything to say about that. His eyes scanned the small bathroom, searching for the source of the voice, but he didn't see anything. Maybe he was hearing things. The statements were probably getting to him.
Tim sighs and shuts the lights off, and heads to the couch. He just needed to sleep, that's all. Sleep came quickly these days, and he woke up not in Gunpowder's memories but to a futuristic bedroom. He knew this place from some more steamy memories from Gunpowder. Speaking of him, he was lounging in the bed holding a bottle that no longer had labels.
Gunpowder flicked his mechanical eyes to glance at Tim. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and a pair of goggles was around his neck. He held up the bottle. "Shit doesn't do much in here but wants some?"
Tim shook his head as he approached and sat on the edge of the bed. "Did you say something?"
"When you started to spiral? Yeah." Gunpowder sits up, putting the bottle aside. "I'm not as well versed in this theoretical nonesense as Jonny is, but I think it's almost complete." He reached his hand out, and Tim allowed him to grab it. "Soon we'll be together awake and asleep, probably when my eyes finally form. Again, sorry about the pain."
"I don't think I'm able to believe you." Tim had that sinking feeling of dread that he knew Gunpowder was right. "Why?"
"We wanted to save our third to complete us." Gunpowder pulls his hand away. "Eternity isn't great when you're missing someone that helps complete you. We were also promised an apocalypse, and that did sound fun."
"Love is a good reason." Tim wanted to reach out again but refrained. "So would you be able to take over like a ghost?"
Gunpowder laughs. "I ain't no ghost, but maybe again, Jonny knows more about this bullshit than I do."
Tim nods and gets up approaching the door.
"Are you sure?"
"If what you say is true, I might as well know more about you." Tim opened the door and vanished into memories that weren't his own.
Gunpowder picked the bottle up again and sighed. "I wonder if Jonny is having a good time."
.....
Jon felt even worse, he however did not go to the doctor even at Martin insistent, he was acting odd more so than normal, and it made his work even worse. He stripped off his shirt and pants, then finally his binder and groans. The red spot on his lower back right on his tailbone he could pass off as bug bite, now ballooned into a throbbing red mass that was completely solid to the touch.
He really wanted to keep ignoring it, but he felt something move under his skin, and it scared him half to death. Every part of him felt wrong, to his privates they were extra sensitive more so then when he started T to his ears that were bright red and painful, to his head that he can feel growing bumps on his head. The worst of it was his chest, his heart was constantly beating erratically, and he could swear he heard a ticking like a metronome in his chest. Everything was wrong, and yet he just crawled into his bed.
No to Jon, the worst part were these dreams that were nothing but fiction, and this Jonny character was a idiot, a violent obnoxious idiot. Jonny talked to him. He purposely argued with him and teased him. That ass was crude and didn't have a fucking care in the world the complete opposite of himself. He was some vile creature that probably spawned from the statements he read.
Jon bit down on his pillow, he moved wrong, and his sensitive privates sent nerves and sparks through his body. He was asexual he shouldn't have these desires, and he shouldn't be thinking about his coworkers in this matter. Why the fuck was Martin a spider creature it scared him but also thrilled him and he hated these thoughts. Tim was mostly the same, but his hair was long, and his eyes were machines. He blamed Jonny for all of this. But he wasn't real his mind just wanted someone to blame.
That obnoxious crazed laughter rang in Jon's ears. He groaned, spitting out his pillow. "Leave me alone, you annoying hallucination." That only earned him harder laughter. He gave a frustrated yell into his pillow. He refused to listen to the just jerk off from Jonny and grabbed sleeping pills from his draw, and hoped for a dreamless sleep, which he knew was futile. He kept seeing memories that weren't his of some nonesense syfy fan wet dream. Jonny wasn't real, and what he saw wasn't real either.
.......
Sasha moved closer to Tim. "Eyes still bothering you?" She motions to his the dark sunglasses you couldn't see his eyes through.
Tim nods. "Yeah, doctors aren't helping. They feel like they're going to pop." He sighs. "Do you know what's up with boss man?"
Sasha shrugs. "I was going to ask about Martin. He seems more lost than normal, and he seems less jumpy but even more depressed? I don't know he keeps avoiding me every time I try to press."
"I can talk to him if you talk to Jon about his attitude. I watched him yell at Martin first 10 minutes, and Martin just took it with a smile like he didn't care." Tim frowns, rubbing his eyes his vision was getting blurry, and he could feel something wet drip down from his face.
"Eye drops first, you're crying again, and it's not clear." Sasha hands him a tissue. "I'll go talk to Jon."
"You're the best, Sasha." Tim smiles and rushes off to the bathroom. He barely makes it inside when his vision goes dark. He can only whimper in shock as fresh pain blooms where his eyes should be. A wet substance drips down his cheeks, and he barely registers hands on his shoulder, guiding him to sit on the ground.
Soft hands carefully remove the black glasses and a soft curse on his lips from a voice Tim knows, but he can't focus or see who said that. He could feel a wet cloth wipe whatever was on his face.
"Tim, you gotta breathe." That was Gunpowder. He sounded so clear, like he was right next to him. "I know it hurts, but you have to let the machines build themselves. It's actually really neat to watch."
The soft hands were done cleaning his face as he let out a sigh at the loss of touch. And a flash of light burned, and then he heard a soft click like that of a camera and a softer moving of machines like a soft roll. His vision came back way too fast, and suddenly, it was too perfect, and he saw too much. He saw a familiar sweater connected to a man leaning over him. "M-martin?" Of course it was Martin his hands were soft... he didn't know why he thought of them like a cat's paw.
"Blackwood!" Gunpowder gasps.
Martin takes the spoiled hand towel and puts it in his back pocket. "Tim, can you focus on me?"
The soft whirl of machines and Tim was looking at Martin. "What happened?" He could see the hand towel and had a few theories on what the stains were.
Martin smiles softly, and Tim feels calmer.
"Feels safe into the den of the spider." Gunpowder hums. "Do you mind if I just uh..."
Tim barely registered what happened until he was in the spot where Gunpowder was. He saw his body move without him, and he just watched unable to process until it clicked what had happened. "Oh." He watches Martin tilt his head as Gunpowder looks up at him, then he feels a stinging pain as Martin hits them.
Gunpowder holds his cheek and looks to Tim, realizing they both felt it.
Martin takes a breath. "You didn't heed any of my warnings."
Gunpowder smiles staring up at Martin.
Martin falters, and he moves and sits down next to him on the bathroom floor. "Is...?"
"Yeah, Tim's here." Gunpowder hums. "Don't think he made the connection yet."
"That is a given." Martin pulls his knees up. "I haven't.... yaknow, and I'm worried when I do..."
"You won't be able to hide." Gunpowder nods and reaches out to Martin. "Aha, he made the connection."
Martin smiles softly, interlocking his fingers with Tim. "Yeah, a lot of shit happened. Welcome to the madness of it."
"Oh, we're well past madness and circled back round to sanity." Gunpowder chuckles, taking the glasses back. "Talk later?"
Martin nods and watches Tim return to his body. "Are you ok?"
Tim blinks. Well, he thinks he blinks, but he's pretty sure he doesn't have eyelids anymore. "I uh... I think so." He paused. "So where's the spider parts? Don't tell me my shared memories and adult fantasies are a lie."
Martin chuckles. "Oh, you're both horrible. Ask Gunpowder, you ass." He gets up and holds out his hand. "Come on, we have to get back to work before Jon throws another fit."
Tim nods, getting up with Martin's help. "Seriously though, where are the spider bits?"
"I don't actually know, and I don't want to test dying to see if they come back." Martin sighs.
"Ah, fair enough." Tim continues to hold Martin's hand. "I uh...you know what happens..."
Martin frowns. "Tim, for me, it's been well over a few thousand years. My memory isn't perfect. I remember what my mind thinks are the important bits, but I've really tried to forget this happened. The ending isn't a good one." He sighs. "We can talk after work, in the tunnels."
"Tunnels?" Tim raised his brow following Martin, never unlocking their hands.
......
Martin pulled Tim back as emts rushed out with a stretcher. "Who got hurt?"
Sasha rushed over. "I went to check on Jon, and he... he was bleeding, and he was barely breathing. I called the ambulance, and they rushed him to the hospital."
Tim frowns. "Is he ok?"
"I don't know." Sasha gives a soft gasp as Martin pulls her into a hug.
"Hey, you did the right thing. Jon will be fine." Martin smiles softly. "We can visit him after our shift. I'm sure he wouldn't mind visitors."
Sasha hugs him back. "You're right. You're right. He probably knew something was wrong and refused to see a doctor."
Tim sighs. "That does sound like Jon." He paused for a moment. "I, uh yeah, back to work."
Sasha nods, wiping her eyes and pulling away from Martin. "I'm sure he'll appreciate a cleaner archive when he gets back."
Martin nods. "Of course, that sounds great." He grabs Tim's arm. "Tim and I can grab some boxies and start moving things around."
"Oh, that's great." Sasha smiles, watching them leave.
.....
"Why did you grab me?" Tim raised his brow.
"So I think I know what happened to Jon." Martin frowns.
Tim paused, and his demeanor changed, and he sags his shoulders. "Oh, this is not going to be good."
"No, it's not." Martin sighs. "Fuck everything has changed now."
"So, did we do it?" Gunpowder raised his brow.
Martin snickers. "Yeah, not even close. We both know that gods won't take this lying down even if it's Jonny."
"Eh, worth a shot." Gunpowder shrugs. "Blackwood has told me enough to know what Jon ends up as I'll explain later."
.....
Elias adjusts his tie and smiles, looking over his archivist. The unfortunate nature of the Flesh and Stranger working together does have this outcome. Of course, he can pull all the strings needed to have this little incident swept under the rug and tied in a neat bow. He smiles softly, watching him wake up. "Are you alright, Jonathan? You've given us all quite the scare." He stops seeing a scowl that isn't Jon's normal one on his lips.
Jonny's mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and his head was fuzzy, and Jon's nagging didn't exactly help him either. His gaze moved up to the man in a suit. He looked like a prick, an obnoxious wealthy prick. Jon was yelling at him that's his boss and don't fuck this up. Of course he wouldn't fuck this up he knew how to act proper and can copy Jon's boring ass. If he could just focus.
"Jonathan, are you alright? You may have hit your head on the way down. You're on some painkillers." Elias smiles, leaning over him.
Jonny furrows his brows. He hated painkillers and always took the fun out of pain and violence. "...fuzzy..." He managed to mumble. His tolerance to painkillers was null and void due to his affection for actual pain. Couldn't he just get Jon's tolerance and not just the fun new parts to explore. He scowls again at the man above his bed, he wanted to rip that smile off his face.
Elias chuckles softly. "Painkillers will do that, and you're not even on that heavy of a dose. I'm sure your coworkers will be visiting you soon. Hopefully, you'll feel better by then."
Jonny grits his teeth. He had a few choice words for that pompous ass.
"You can't kill him." Jon looked drowsy floating next to him.
At least Jonny wasn't the only one suffering in this cushioned hell. He huffs and turns his head.
Jon chuckles. "Don't be mad. You've got control." He was very out of it. He felt the same effects Jonny was. "What's.... what is uh...." He blinks, unable to form a coherent thought.
Jonny huffs and can't fight the feeling of sleep overtaking him.
......
"So Gunpowder Tim cut a bloody path...." Jonny stops, noticing that his head finally felt clear enough and reciting old ballads of his friends wasn't needed. He looked down at Jon, who was staring at him. He floated down to lay next to Jon. "What's with that look? I already explained our situation to you at nauseum."
Jon scowls, looking away. He then makes a vague motion, unable to explain why he suddenly felt wrong.
Jonny raised his brow. "You've got my dick. Ain't you special."
Jon scoffs, but his face is turning red because he feels that is true. "No..." He huffs.
Jonny paused, watching Jon get frustrated. He didn't feel like sharing in that. He learned early in that they shared emotions, and he had to get used to feeling things that weren't his own. It was honestly worse than Nastya, making him feel Aurora emotions. "I can tell you."
Jon felt himself be pushed out from his body as Jonny took control. He scowls but sighs, watching and feeling Jonny's own emotions. "So? What's wrong with m- us?"
Jonny scowls. "They cut off my fucking tail! It's a fucking bitch to grow that back." He raised his ands and feels around his forehead. "Good, they didn't cut them too short. Actually, I like them short, so this isn't an issue... I'm narrating for you Jon be grateful."
Jon raised his brow. "You can't hear my thoughts?"
"Can you hear mine?" Jonny spits back.
"Fair point." Jon sighs. "Are we ok?"
"Fuck if I know. Everything is new, raw, and sensitive. My dicks never been this fucked before." Jonny growls as he is forced back out by Jon.
"D-Dont do that." Jon pulls the blanket over his body.
Jonny shrugs, not understanding Jon. "Whatever, we just have to adjust." He pauses for a moment, pointing at Jon. "This is earth, right?"
"Yes?" Jon raised his brow.
"Tim and Blackwood always referred to me as a cowboy. What's a cow? I don't think I've ever seen an earth cow."
Jon blinks. "But you have parts like a bull."
"Wait, I thought it was called cows." Jonny returned a confused look.
Jon shakes his head. "Alien, right, you're an alien. You don't know human er earth animals. Cows don't have sharp teeth like you, but uh, bulls are basically male cows, but cows are the general term used."
"Can I see what they look like?" Jonny floated to lay next to Jon.
"Yeah, when I get my phone." Jon paused. "Are you upset I wasn't born a man?"
"Why would I care? You've got my dick now, and I have a new hole to play with. This is a win for me." Jonny shrugs and raised his brow feeling relief pour from Jon.
"Thank you." Jon says quietly.
"Ok?" Jonny shrugs floating to look around the hospital room.
......
Sasha slams on the breaks. "Tim what the fuck."
Tim's eyes clicked and whirled. He was told only he could hear this by Gunpowder. Well, both can hear since they share a body. He reaches for his glasses and realizes he took them off because his ears were bothering him. He could feel the look from Gunpowder and Martin on him. "It's a long story."
Sasha rocketed to a spot to park, and she twisted her body to the back seat. "Tim explain now!"
Martin bites his lip and blurts out. "It's my fault. I'm supposed to be dead, both me and Gunpowder. Promised an end to eternity, and it was a farce and I'm back here like this, and I really tried to forget about this part of my life. I mean for fucks sake you die and get replaced Sasha and none of us notice for a year because of how it worked. Tim dies in an explosion, destroying the circus, and that isn't to mention the fucked up paranoia from Jon and extreme levels of fucked up creatures that I mean now I can look back at and laugh but you can't you're mortal. I mean, these are fear gods, so I mean they will get to you eventually."
Gunpowder grabs Martin's hand. "Martin, that's enough. The only reason Jonny knew about my past was because he was playing soldier and was with me. You don't have to..." He stops as Martin waves him off.
"No, it's fine. Tim and Sasha deserve to know." Martin sighs. "I'll tell you what I can remember it has been a few thousand years since I've been through this."
.....
Sasha swallows. "I believe you."
Martin blinks. "Why?"
"I've had a bad feeling, and I knew Gertrude didn't just go missing." Sasha then points to Tim. "Also look at his fucking eyes Martin that's pretty good evidence."
Gunpowder nods.
Martin gives a nervous smile. "I'm sorry I've gotten used to things over the years. I like Tim's eyes."
"Yeah, yeah, don't boast his ego." Sasha puts her seat belt back on. "So keep your glasses on Tim. We're going to visit Jon if the same thing happened to him like you."
"It's equally as possible. Jon worked himself into a delusional state and just hurt himself." Martin shrugs.
Tim blinks back in control. "That's really dark."
"No, no, Martin has a point." Sasha starts the car again. "Remember that incident in research."
"I tried to forget, but I see your point." Tim sighs, putting his glasses back on.
Martin sighs. "Hopefully that isn't the case."
.....
Jon shifted uncomfortably as he sat up. Jonny wasn't lying. The tail thing was incredibly uncomfortable and annoying. He stared at the hospital food in front of him and was told he couldn't leave till tomorrow. He hated hospital food, and he hated hospitals.
"Stop pouting." Jonny rolls his eyes. "I can feel your emotions and pouting won't get you nowhere."
"Oh, then what can I do? Please enlighten me." Jon scowls taking a bite of his peas.
"For one, actually eat. How the fuck are you in such shit condition? Do you even know what fun is?" Jonny shook his head. "You can't do shit without meat on your bones, and you look half starved. You're a fucking disaster."
Jon continues to scowl, not saying a word.
The door opens to his room.
"Blackwood!" Jonny floats through him, trying to tackle him. "Fuck."
Martin smiles softly as Tim and Sasha follow behind him. "We wanted to make sure you're ok."
"You gave me a scare, Jon." Sasha crosses her arms. "You need to learn how to take a break, or at least see a doctor."
Tim was odd wearing sunglasses that completely hid his eyes, but he knew Tim was having trouble with his eyes. "You look awful."
Jon can't help but give a soft smile. "Just wasn't paying attention and hit my head." He motions to the bandages around his head and ears.
"Don't lie to Blackwood. That man can see through any lie you spit." Jonny crosses his arms. "Besides, I bet you control of my choosing that Gunpowder is in your Tim."
Jon ignores him. "Ah you didn't have to bring me anything."
Martin smiles softly as he pulls out a chocolate slice of cake. "It's just some chocolate cake. I mean, you don't have to have it..." He stops as Jon's demeanor changes in an instant as he pushes his food aside.
Jon was forced out and watched Jonny make grabby hands.
"Give it here, Blackwood." Jonny huffs. "Don't you fucking tempt me."
Martin's expression changed, and Jon could feel a shiver down his back. "You and your sweet tooth." He tisks, placing the slice down.
Jonny grabs the container. "Fuck you." He huffs and has enough decency to use a fork. "Your fucking lucky I have to fix this body or I would end you."
Jon watches Tim snicker. "You lost height!" His snickers turn to giggles.
"Piss off." Jonny scoffs.
Sasha raised her brow. "How did you know the cake would work?"
"d'Ville only has one craving he can't quit, and it ain't cigarettes." Gunpowder smirks, taking off his glasses, revealing his mechanical eyes.
Jonny scowls. "Oh fuck you. I don't deny myself pleasures like you."
"I have manners you lack." Tim spits back.
Martin chuckles and has a glint in his eyes and a sinister smile that again Jon can't tear his eyes from. "Now, both of you, that's enough." He moves closer and leans over Jonny. "How about you behave and finish all of your food, and maybe I'll convince the doctors to let you leave early?"
Jon can feel the tug, no the crashing wave of desire, and just pure love spill from Jonny, and if they had his tail, it would be wagging like a dog.
Jonny, for his part, nods eagerly. "It would be faster if you fed me." He purrs back.
Martin steps back. "Don't push your luck. I'm mad at you."
In a split second, that emotion was gone, replaced with annoyance. Jon had to shake his head from the whiplash.
"We agreed!" Jonny huffs stuffing his face with food. "It's not like you were there with your bleeding heart. You weren't there, I woke up after that bar in that... look, I'm not having this conversation."
Jon could feel a bubble of an emotion, one that he knew should leave unspoken. He remains quiet watching Martin.
Martin gaze didn't break, let alone change. He crosses his arms. "Did you do the same?"
Jonny swallows his final bite. "I can't say I wanted to change it, so I didn't."
Martin's gaze seems to finally soften. "Good, he didn't deserve forgiveness." He reached out and pat Jonny's shoulder. "That's my cowboy." He pauses. "What's with the frown?"
"They cut off my tail." Jonny sounded honest and small.
Jon was taken aback.
"I never said humanity was a kind species." Martin brushes a stray piece of hair out of Jonny's face. "It will grow back."
"Not the point." Jonny sighs. "How's your former mortal." His gaze shifted to Tim.
"Probably better than yours with the adjustment." Gunpowder slides his glasses back on. "You look like shit."
"Not my fault." Jonny mutters.
"Never said it was." Gunpowder muses. "Maybe you shouldn't have asked Martin for his story."
Martin rolls his eyes. "Just because you're bitter doesn't mean you get to drag me into this argument again." He walks by Sasha, grabbing her arm. "Would you like to hear more while they complain?"
Sasha nods. "Sure, why not." She follows Martin out of the room as he shuts the door behind him.
Gunpowder frowns. "Don't give me that look. I already got an earful from him, and to be fair, he warned both of us to wait. Now, why do you think this didn't happen the first time?"
"Aren't you just full of dumb questions." Jonny adjusts his glasses. "They were already dead and gone by the time we crossed the first time. This place was fine. I dunno Blackwood said it's been. I dunno fifty years since it ended and started again." He raised his brow at something Tim couldn't see. "You do know what apocalypse means, right? Right well that happened, and you died before I came here the first time."
Gunpowder waves his hand. "Jonny, stop, we both know what happened in the end. They don't know the full truth yet, neither of them."
Jonny frowns and stares at Tim. "How long do you think it will take till being the good guy gets old?"
"Who knows? We've never tried it." Gunpowder shrugs. "You should hold off on being honest about this world, as much as I know you like your stories and songs. Unless you want to deal with Jon."
Jonny waves him off. "Whatever, it doesn't matter now he'll learn as I will annoyingly to see his memories. Just let me figure this out, and as much as I hate to see you two on good terms compared to my situation. Just wait."
For what, Jon had no idea, but this Gunpodwer did, who nodded.
"Seriously though, figure something out with this Jon. You seriously look worse than when we were starving, as a competition." Gunpowder sighs. "Blackwood..." He looks through the door. "Yeah, he already convinced the doctors and nurses to let you go, and they are on their way. Enjoy your new home, alone." He smirks as he leaves.
Jon was flung back into his body, feeling Jonny fuming, but the other man was uncharacteristic silent. He had to think this over and what this actually meant. So he died the first time, but when and how? Before or after the apocalypse?
.......
He wasn't truly alone, not anymore. Jon sunk into his bed and opened his phone. "How did Martin even convince them to let me leave?"
"He's got a way of trapping people making them do what he wants." Jonny hums. "Now, show me a picture of a cow."
Jon wanted to press, but he quickly learned pleasing Jonny was the best way to get answers. He pulled up a picture of a cow and a bull and held it up.
Jonny was quiet studying the creatures he saw. He broke into a wide grin. "They look cute, don't they. Good cows."
Jon hums and sighs. "You said Martin told you what happens to this world. What happens? Why did he become one of you? What are you guys?"
Jonny frowns. "I rather not feel your stupid emotions." He scratches behind his ear. "You won't let this go. However, Blackwood warned me you were insistent, so I might as well spin you a tale." Suddenly, a harmonica appeared in his hands. "A tragic fate of star-crossed lovers doomed by forces beyond their control, and a man turned to a monster that was left in the ruins."
Jon listened to the haunting story on a soft melody. He learned how his coworkers, no his friends, died. How he roamed the wastelands the fears as the apocalypse he caused reigned, how Martin stayed by his side even though he caused this by being tricked. The story ended in a sharp blade.
Jonny stopped. "And you were no more as the pancoption crumbled the archive now, just a man taking his final breath. An ending driven by a man afraid of death and so willing to please a god who didn't care for him as nothing more than a tool. Blackwood crushed but was not dead. A familiar doctor just happened to be passing by the rubble. She wanted to try something new, just not machines anymore, something animalistic, something new. And so Blackwood became a monster a first of his kind." He stretches. "Immortality such a boring goal, isn't it? You would think you would want something more interesting."
Jon was speechless he couldn't string together thoughts.
Jonny frowns, feeling the rush of emotions. "Look..." He swallows and feels tears drip down his face. He was frustrated that he couldn't stop this. He hated emotions, and he hated being honest to himself, but Jon still viewed himself as mortal, and he won't be raw without his partners. He floated down beside Jon and let him cry. He couldn't stop it. The rush of emotions overwhelmed him.
Jon finally spoke. "How do I stop it?"
"Fuck if I know. I wasn't here. I heard the story from Blackwood." Jonny was purposely looking away from him. "You have to ask him, but we promised to play the good guys this time around, or well, until it gets boring."
"We're going to stop this." Jon tried to muster confidence he didn't have.
Jonny just sighs. "Go to bed. Watch some of my memories. If you don't start trying to fix your body, I will do it by force."
Jon pulls his blanket up and frowns. He falls into an unsteady sleep.
......
Elias raised his brow, watching his archivist return to work. "Jonathan, I did tell you to take time to rest after yesterday." He had a smile and a silver tongue.
Jonny scoffs. "He's worse sober."
Jon smiles nervously. "I'm fine, Elias." He adjusts his hat covering his new sensitive ears. His tail had already started to grow back, and Jonny said it's a side effect of immortality, which Jon didn't believe in. It's supposed to be much longer than a cow's tail and semi prehensile. He wanted to test it but knew better than to try anything in public.
Elias frowns. "Now, Jon, I don't need you working yourself sick again." He knew the effects of the stranger and the flesh it probably hasn't hit the man yet, and he didn't want him breaking down having him explain the truth.
Jon frowns. "I'm fine, Elias. I know how to take care of myself. I'm going to get back to work."
Elias frowns, crossing his arms and watching Jon rush off to the archives . He raises his brow, and seeing the start of a tail, he is informed that it is cut off. It shouldn't be growing back this fast. He had a few connections to pull to get more information. He had no desire to pick another archivist nor start again.
......
"We should kill him." Jonny floats next to Jon, his tail lazily flicking behind him.
"Elias is my boss. I'm not going to kill him." Jon scowls as he hears Tim snickers. "Tim, that's enough."
Tim hums, Jon can see his hair is curling and is getting lighter than the black he has. "I don't think so, bossman. We think it's quite hilarious Jonny's on a leash."
Jon was pushed out as Jonny took control. "Oh go fuck yourself you fucking cunt." Jonny stomps off to Jon's office making it a point to slam the door.
Martin snickers from the entrance and refrains from explaining Elias can see them. Oh, that would be hilarious. Does he know Jon and Jonny are sharing a body, or does he think that the fears changed Jon? Either way, things have changed, and he wants to see Elias... no Jonah squirm with the unpredictability. Martin will force him to realize immortality is not worth it, and death is a gift. He silently walks to his desk and takes a seat.
"Enjoying the show?" Tim smirks. "We are."
"Oh, I'm enjoying something else." Martin smiles back.
"Already knitting a web, I see." Gunpowder nods. "I always enjoy the finished project."
Martin taps his fingers against his desk. "You know I think it's not a Web I rather not get mixed up with that particular fear I think I can recall the avatar is kind of a right bitch."
"Really? You have to explain the fear thing better because some of them just sound fun or fun to kill." Gunpowder smirks.
"Later, and Sasha already made a list." Martin points to Sasha sipping her coffee.
"You two share a body. Did you not pay attention when Tim was reading it?" Sasha raised her brow.
Tim huffs. "I couldn't figure out how to turn off the Xray vision on these damn eyes until like an hour before I slept." He had a slight blush on his cheeks. "Then the damn things wouldn't stop focusing on objects miles away."
Gunpowder took back control. "To be fair, I still have trouble controlling them. Human biology and mechanical parts tend to fight until they get into a rhythm. Also, I have like a million years of experience, and Tim does not."
Sasha frowns. "That sounds actually awful. Does Jonny have these problems?"
Gunpowder shrugs. "He never complains, and if he dislikes something, he's quite vocal. I think he uses the ticking as a metronome."
Martin nods. "As boney as he is, he's very nice to sleep too. The ticking is quite soothing." He sighs. "Granted, I won't be able to enjoy any of that for a long while, I reckon."
"Shit, I remembered that this isn't a desert planet." Gunpowder pauses. "Jonnys going to be a little bitch."
"Why?" Sasha raised her brow.
"Jonny's originally from a mostly desert planet, so his tail ears and horns were basically made to keep him cool. Even the nights were hot, so he doesn't exactly have any defenses against the cold, and he makes his complaints known as Gunpowder said." Martin hums. "Although he loves the snow and rain."
"We never said the man made sense." Gunpowder shrugs, letting Tim back in control.
Sasha tilts her head. "What was the planet like that you're from?"
"Gunpowder is from the earth of a different dimension." Tim taps his pen against his desk and adjusts his glasses. "He did however blow up the moon."
"Now you're just fucking with me." Sasha rolls her eyes and heads back to her desk.
Martin chuckles. "Don't feel bad about it. In this time, we've barely had any people on the moon."
"See, I told you!" Tim huffs. "He wouldn't listen to me or the facts I provided."
"Tim, you have to understand where we're coming from. We lived on a spaceship." Martin hums heading to his desk to start working.
Tim sighs. "Still annoying."
.....
Martin stares at the bloody fingernails in the sink. He knew his luck was running out. His body wasn't going to wait till his first death. He could feel how tight his skin felt and how it was hard to walk to breathe. He wasn't scared to become what he was supposed to be, but it would make this so much harder. He flexed his hand, seeing the black claw nails start to poke through his flesh. He doesn't truly care he made peace ages ago with what the doctor made him.
Elias watched Martin with a curious gaze. He can feel the Beholder use his eyes to watch intently. He had a feeling in his gut something changed something twisted in the mere fabric of reality. He hasn't even checked on Jon since he arrived this morning, and the Beholder agreed that something more interesting was happening. Martin was unassuming and predictable, but this was new, and he wanted to know why. He wasn't an avatar, and that also fueled his curiosity. How is he changing without one of the fears?
Martin rubbed his eyes and sighed. He had time, and he had time to prepare. He wanted Jonny. He just wanted that soft ticking, Gunpowder could soothe his anxieties, but Jonny was a comfort. Sure, the man was brash rude and a devil, but he was his, and that was enough. Gunpowder wouldn't touch him till Tim was fully on board with him, and Martin respected that. Hell he was fucking happy with that. Jonny, however, was a mystery, Jon was tighter lipped, and he knew how long it took for Jon to even understand his emotions, let alone actually relie on others.
Martin gathered his fingernails from the sink and threw them out with a sigh. Maybe he could go to artifact storage to slow things. Well, that has just a likely chance to kill him. He doesn't care. Maybe he could convince Gunpowder and Tim to head to the tunnels properly. He finished washing his hands, not even flinching at the exposed nerves.
Elias's gaze intensified as he watched Tim enter the bathroom. More importantly, he removed his sunglasses, revealing new eyes. When did he get surgery? More importantly, how can he still see? He shut his eyes, and he was seeing from Tim's eyes.
Tim scratched his chin. "Martin, you alright?"
Elias saw a man in the mirror that wasn't Tim.
Martin sighs. "I'm fine." He stretches. "Just a bit achey, what about you?"
"I'm fine." Tim crosses his arms. "Ok, maybe not entirely fine, but I'm getting used to it."
The man in the mirror that wasn't Tim spoke and Elias could hear him.
"I know my scars aren't pretty, and I'm sorry." The not Tim sighs.
Tim shook his head. "Dude, I said it's fine." He turns back to Martin. "I'm more peeved about the hair than I am about the scars, and I still haven't agreed to grow it out."
Not Tim huffs.
Martin chuckles. "The two colors look good together, and if you don't grow it out, what else am I supposed to grab?"
Tim swallows, and Elias sees him in the mirror, and he figured it out that this not Tim was in control.
"Oh, don't tease the man. He doesn't understand the fun a simple act can do. Let alone one with those..." Not Tim stops staring at Martin's hand. "When?"
Martin huffs. "Gunpowder, it's fine. You know how you can't hide what the good doctor does to you. I'm fine. I just feel a bit stiff and uncomfortable, but it will pass."
Not Tim or Gunpowder, ridiculous name if you asked Elias. He smiles softly.
"Fuck the waiting, from what I've seen its going to be brutal and he shouldn't be alone..." Tim was speaking out loud now. "He shouldn't have to go through this by him....self... ah, you ass."
Martin raised his brow with a soft smile. "I appreciate the offer, Tim, but you're not exactly desensitized enough for my liking."
Tim huffs. "Then Gunpowder will watch and be out. You don't deserve to be alone through this. I know you have an issue with that, I uh well, Gunpowder knows, and I saw the memory."
"Fine, if you insist." Martin paused, and Elias shivers with that look. "I've shared things with Gunpowder in secret. I don't want you to share with anyone." He grabs Tim's shirt. "Understand?"
Tim swallows and nods.
Martin smiles again as his features soften. "Good, I'll come by your flat tonight."
Tim watches Martin leave with a shudder. Elias doesn't leave yet.
"I warned you about being caught in Blackwood's web. You're not close enough with him to get comfortable." Gunpowder clicks his tongue. "He's not the man you knew, so please don't underestimate him. I would rather not die before Jonny does. We've got a bet going on."
Tim swallows and slides the dark sunglasses back on, and Elias is shocked to see his vision didn't change in the slightest. "He's still a good person."
"That's... well, none of us are good." Gunpowder responds dryly. "It comes with the territory."
Tim didn't like that answer, but he remained quiet as Elias came back to himself. He had a lot to think about.
......
"At least you know how to tell a story." Jonny responds with a bored tone. "These statements still suck, I still suggest we burn the entire place down."
Jon scowls. "No." He stretches and pulls out the used tape. "Can you think of anything that doesn't involve violence.... or sex." He gives a glare.
"Now you're just plain boring." Jonny raised his brow. "Being serious all the time must be fucking exhausting."
Jon sputters. "Just because I'm not some guy who thinks he's immortal and some sex pest doesn't mean anything."
"I don't care what you think of me." Jonny stares directly at Jon. "We are stuck together for the rest of time, and whatever comes after."
Jon scowls. "I won't devolve to be on your level."
Jonny rolls his eyes. "I don't care."
Jon huffs and leaves his office.
"Jon, you ok?" Sasha smiles softly.
Jon stops and sighs. "I'm fine, just getting used to an unfortunate roommate."
"That's one way to call it." Tim mutters.
"You two should try getting along." Sasha hums. "You'll be stuck together forever, I guess. I think it would suck if you two were stuck together fighting for all of that."
Jon scowls. "Oh, he's a right ass only cares about violence and sex. He's nothing but a pest, and I abhor the fact that I have to share my own body with him."
"Oh piss off." Jonny huffs.
Gunpowder sighs. "His attitude comes with his age. He is the oldest of us besides the doctor, but we don't know about her, though, really." He kicks his feet up. "Jonny, I know you're listening. You should be cautious he's going to see memories that you've forgotten. Funny how the mind works even if we forget they still exist in there, just waiting for a trigger to pull them free."
Jon expected Jonny to kick him out and take control, but he felt fear grip his heart that no longer beat. He swallows the dread that wasn't his and doesn't look at Jonny. "I will keep that in mind for when I sleep."
The conversation dies as Jon leaves as the day has ended, and he doesn't want to linger.
.......
The rusty hinges creaked on the old shack the teen called a home. He made sure he tipped off his shoes before entering, and he saw his father passed out in a drunken stupor. He carefully made his way to the small kitchen connected to the living room. If you would call it, that and stumbled upon a note.
"Jonny boy, I've left to clean up after your father. He pissed off some old doctor at the edge of town. I've left old Bessie for you to make sure she's in better condition when I get back, boy. Now, if I don't come back, I know you won't end up like your father. You're too smart for that. Use your ears to find a target to shoot. We both know your eyes aren't the best use that good hearing of yours. Don't file your horns too short boy they grow for a reason, and I love you forever and always."
Wrapped in leather by the note was a familair old looking revolver, the name Bessie was carved crudely into the handle. The weight would become familair in the teen's hands. He took the note scowled at his father and then headed off to hunt for dinner since that lazy piece of shit won't do anything but gamble.
Jon woke up with a start. He could feel a rush of emotions that weren't his. "I..."
"Don't say a fucking word." Jonny scowls. "Don't go telling nobody about that."
Jon nodded he paused, squinting at the clock that glowed, showing it was 3am. He sighs. "I don't remember my mother, or my father, with died at different times, but I was too young to remember them. My grandmother raised me, bitter she had to raise another child. Never told me that directly, however."
Jonny braces himself and grits his teeth. "I don't remember what my mom looks like either."
"Then we have that in common. Maybe the next dream will be my memory, and you can pick apart that." Jon sighs and curls under his blanket.
Jonny nods. "Just go back to sleep."
......
Martin grits his teeth and groans in pure agony. He could barely register the hand going through his red curls. His legs hurt, and he couldn't move them. His skin felt like it was on fire, and he didn't particularly like burning to death. He was stripped down to his birthday suit, and it didn't help with the fact that he was in pure agony.
Gunpowder continues to run his hands through Martin's hair. "It's alright, you're ok. It will be over soon."
"Just fucking kill me." Martin groans.
"We both know that won't help." Gunpowder sighs. "Would you like to hear my story?"
Martin takes a deep breath. "Please distract me."
Gunpowder nods and begins to narrate his origins.
....
An obnoxious alarm pulled Tim from sleep on the floor. He was laying in something wet and the smell of iron... no blood filled his nose, which caused him to panic and flail completely awake. His eyes lock onto a large spider, half then blood, then flesh and bone. Gunpowder takes over before he can throw up.
"Yikes, I thought the shared emotions wouldn't be this strong. Man, you are super depressed." Gunpowder gets up, smearing the blood off from his body. "You're going to need a stronger stomach." He looked over Martin, who was out cold. "See, he's breathing.... please stop screaming. " he covers his mouth, feeling his stomach sour from the sheer fear and disgust from Tim. He swallows the bile rising in his throat, turns away from the scene, and heads to the bathroom.
Gunpowder barely makes it to the toilet to empty the contents of his stomach. He continues to dry heave for a moment before turning to face Tim. "Are you done?"
Tim was pale, and he finally caught his breath. He was still radiating fear and disgust, but he was stable enough to talk. "Is he still alive?"
Gunpowder wipes his mouth. "Of course he is. What part of we can't die, don't you understand?" He frowns, pulling back his frustration. "Sorry you can't control how you react yet. I didn't realize how much I would share when we feel strong emotions." He sits on his knees and sighs. "I'll clean up, just try not to get sick again, please."
Tim nods and shudders. "I.... I'm not desensitized to this stuff. I'm sorry."
Gunpowder gets up, feeling the soft twists of sadness and self-doubt. "Tim, it's not a bad thing, means you're still human. Don't be too hard on yourself." He pulls out some cleaning supplies from the bathroom cabinet. "Tell me about Danny."
Tim frowns and nods slightly. "He was my younger brother...."
.....
Martin wakes up to someone touching his hand. He furrows his brow, pulling his hand back, and skitters up to be his full height, staring down at Tim. He hissed and then blushed, finally realizing that Tim was, in fact, there, and he wasn't a threat. He covers his face and groans, playing out his legs to be shorter. "I didn't mean to hiss at you."
Tim looked over to Gunpowder giggling, and he felt a laugh bubble in his own throat, and wow, no wonder he got frustrated. He didn't exactly know how he felt about feeling someone else's emotions. He gave a soft smile and reached out again to hold Martin's hand. "Your hands are really like a cat's paw."
Martin smiles and lets Tim take his hand. "Spiders have padded limbs and toe beans if you actually look at them."
"That's actually really cute." Tim blushes slightly. "Oh shit how are we going to get to work?"
Martin shrugs. "Might as well scare Elias first."
"Really?" Tim snickers. "What is he scared of spiders?"
"No, he's scared of what they represent." Martin hums. "We're going to be late, and I need a shirt."
"Right, you brought a spare one, right?" Tim paused and rushed over to a bag Martin brought. "Also, you're going to have to talk to my neighbors because of all the stuff we threw out, and they probably think I'm a serial killer."
Martin snickers. "I think I'll scare them into silence."
"Man, I've seen too much of Gunpowder, and Jonny and you having fun together to remember that I'm supposed to be scared of you because you're a spider centaur." Tim tosses over a sweater.
"I suppose I don't find myself scary either. Honestly, the fear left pretty quickly once I realized how my new body worked." Martin smiles. "This will be obnoxious getting to work. I don't mind walking. You live much closer than I do, but being stared at isn't ideal."
"Maybe a blanket?" Tim stops and covers his face. "That wouldn't work."
Martin chuckles. "I appreciate the concept idea, but Jonny tried that once."
"Wait really?" Tim raised his brow.
"Yeah, ended up in a bar fight." Martin snickers. "Although it was fucking hilarious."
"Huh." Tim crosses his arms. "Just bite the bullet and head out?"
"After you." Martin hums and smiles.
.....
Elias blinks, and the scene doesn't change. What confounds him the most is the fact that this has nothing to do with the web. The Beholder is taking it all in, and he can feel actual confusion from his patron. He clears his throat and approaches. "Martin, I don't believe it's near Halloween unless you've got an event planned."
Martin hums impressed at how well Elias can mask his true emotions. "I don't think a costume would be strong enough to carry someone on." He motions to Tim who waves.
"He insisted that he carry me." Tim smiles.
"Well, yes, but I hope I don't cause you too much trouble." Martin smiles. "Why the surprise this is your institute, and shouldn't you expect the supernatural?" He has a smirk as he walks past a stunned Elias.
Elias doesn't have a response to that. His mind was completely blank, and the Beholder was eerily silent.
Tim was snickering. "Double boss man seems quite stunned."
Martin chuckles. "Oh, this is quite fun."
That thought came crashing down with a terrified scream and wide eyed stares.
Martin felt exposed, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt bad about his body until this moment. He knows Tim can feel him tense. "I..."
"Jon, seriously?" Tim huffs sliding off Martin's back. "It's not his fault he's like this."
Jon was trying really hard to keep his panic and fear in check, and he felt a growing bubble of white hot rage directed at him and feeling it. The feedback loop was really confusing. "I uh..." He was forced out by Jonny.
"Fuck off." Jonny took back control his tail was lashing and puffed out at the end. His ears were pinned back, and the hair on top of his head was puffing out. "Seriously fuck off I don't judge you for who you carnally desire. Blackwood is mine, and you have absolutely no right." He goes o continue his rant, but a tooth falls out. He blinks as confusion fills his features, and he crouched down to poke it.
Martin opens his mouth and closes it. "You know I remember now what he was missing, the teeth."
"The teeth." Gunpowder repeats with a nod.
"I'm sorry Martin, are you ok?" Sasha vaguely motions.
"I mean, it was painful, but it doesn't hurt now." Martin pauses. "I have to figure out how to use my desk."
Tim is getting back control, pulling his eyes away from Jonny, now messing with his teeth. "I mean, you can get rid of the chair and move from there."
"That could work." Martin hums and looks over to Jonny. "Are you ok?"
Jonny holds a handful of his teeth. "What do you think?" He scowls. "Well fuck you too. No, I'm mad at you. That's a stupid fucking question, I don't care about spiders let alone being scared of them."
Three pairs of eyes watch the one sided argument.
.....
A fog seemed to roll into Elias's office out of nowhere, and a tall, muscular man in a captains attire steps inside. The man stops and stares at Elias, who had his head down on his desk. "Elias?"
Elias groans. "Peter."
"Shouldn't you be enjoying your new archivist floundering?" Peter raised his brow.
Elias takes a breath. "Peter, I have called every avatar I ever had contact with to ask if they knew what was going on with my archivist and his assistants. I have no leads, and the Beholder is clueless."
Peter opens his mouth then shuts it with a click.
"Do you have any idea what's happening? Because I don't have a singlaur clue." Elias throws his hands up. "One of the archivist assistants is a half spider centaur, and he's not even aligned with the web. The other has mechanical eyes that still work as eyes. That technology doesn't exist, and the Flesh doesn't bother with machines."
Peter reaches out. "I think you need a vacation."
Elias slams his hands against his desk. "Peter, I'm serious!" He gets up and grabs Peter's arm, and drags him to the archives.
Peter stared stunned.
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annabellelupin · 1 year ago
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So, a lot of people (maybe not those that follow me on here but people in this fandom in general) are really going to hate me for this but I really hate the direction this fandom is going in with the "Slytherin Skittles" and such.
I just messaged a fellow fan account admin on my Instagram that said they'd really like to start posting again but wasn't even sure if people would like their content anymore because of how much this fandom has changed.
People were filling them in on all that's happened in the fandom recently and someone made a really good point. Most of this fandom hates Snape because he's a death eater and treated Lily terribly. Hmmmm, who does that also sound like.... oh right, Barty Crouch Jr. (altho he treated other people like Alice and frank who he literally helped torture to insanity terribly). And would you look at that; so many people in the fandom have started glorifying him and treating him like a precious baby as if he isn't just as bad or even worse than Snape. I mean you all can't seriously tell me that you'd think the Marauders would be friends with people that hate on minority groups (muggle borns like Lily).
Also can I just point out that in the Goblet of Fire Barty literally locks a man in a trunk for months, and stole his identity. He showed kids unforgivable curses and turned Draco into a literal ferret (he deserved it but still, it was a bit uncalled for). He really set harry up to die. He helped him all throughout the tournament just to get Voldemort back to full strength. Is this really someone we should be obsessing over?
And the babygirlifcation is absolutely ridiculous. It's mainly been happening to Barty and Evan, which I shouldn't even be surprised by. When I say that I mean it seems like this fandom (which seems to be consisted of mostly femme aligned people) has a really bad habit of fetishizing achillean/mlm ships, so it shouldn't be a surprise that these two guys often shipped together are being treated like babies by the fandom.
Regulus is the only canonically Slytherin character in the Marauders era that actually has redeemable qualities and proved himself to be a decent person (Narcissa isn't all bad either but she certainly isn't great). It's sad that a majority of this started because people wanted to give him "friends" (Regulus realized what was going on was wrong while the others didn't. I don't feel like he'd like them very much because of that).
I've heard a lot of people complain that Jegulus shippers and people who like the Slytherin Skittles are ruining the fandom and I definitely wouldn't go as far as say that, but like I said before, I certainly don't like the direction things are going in. And honestly it could be the fact that I was mainly in the fandom back in 2020-2021 when things were much different and I'm just not used to everything going on, who knows. And this isn't meant as a hate post towards anyone, I've just been thinking about this a good bit and needed to get the rant out of my system.
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ilovemylawyer · 2 months ago
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hiii, im back <3333
i was just thinking about how doyoung kind of remains mysterious in his rituals, like i for once never seem to fully understand what tf is going on inside in his mind maybe i just didn't put enough effort in understanding his microexpressions, still ive been thinking about him winding down for the day lately and every trivial aspect of him like getting out of bath and using body oil or something, bonus points if it gets anomalous teehee because unlike some allegations of him being greasy i think he takes his hygiene very seriously!! atleast whenever he could. sooooo could you pleaaseee maybe sometime write about him just indulging himself in his unwind routine and getting ready for his next day, it's just very important for my mental health i think...yeahh and it doesn't matter which part of timeline it's set in, possibly somewhere in ep 6? im not being serious here, i never was.
lots of love byeee 💗💗💗
hihihi welcome back dear <33
doyoung is totally mysterious! i think it is absolutely intended by the show to make us, the viewers, not privy to the interworkings of his mind. this makes it easier for us to sympathize with dongsoo (to a point..) and it makes it easier for us as viewers to write doyoung off as a psycho criminal killer and NOT understand him as an inexperienced lovesick fool. i think this is totally intentional so i don't think you Missed anything by not scrubbing every scene <3
re: hygeine. HMMMM... so i am more of a greasetruther. at least up until the silver jacket gets replaced with suits and such. but all of that, the fashion upgrade for dy and his men, i see as a direct result of ds' desires. pre-suited dy and gang, his hair is noticeably like. greasy. it just is. i think if he cared about hygiene/appearance on his own, he'd keep his hair shorter and maybe own more than one pair of pants.
BUT! in ep6, he does change to become Cleaner. so your timing here would be correct. like i said i think this is only because of dongsoo. he realizes just how important status/respect/appearance* is to dongsoo, and decides to make himself more desirable by slicking his hair back and dressing like an adult. but i unfortunately do not think he would ever make this decision if not for dongsoo's high standards.
if i do this i think i can make it ep6, a little pre-funeral prep sesh. here are my problems: this would be totally doyoung centric, doyoung pov doyoung brained solo doyoung alone in his big borrowed house. this is AWESOME in theory, but i THRIVE with dialogue, back and forths and quips and spoken lies and stuff. i do not feel like i have a strong, detailed voice for bathtime relaxation. but also ep6 is a rocky dyds episode, ds is supposedly leaving for good and never coming back, dy knows his (ds') mom is going to be executed, dy has already said his would-be final goodbyes... this is tough.
and this: "im not being serious here, i never was." i think (and i could be wrong, i don't quite know, this is only my best guess) that you're trying to say something like "haha jk... unless?" but i am not entirely sure. but i take everything (EVERYTHING) very very very seriously even in our extremely fast paced irony-poisoned world. my friends call me "serious" all the time. there is no need to be anything but serious w/ me! otherwise i actually get pretty confused (which may be evident rn) but plzzz never feel any kind of shame or embarrassment for any kind of ask to me! FR!
i take this show and my contributions to it like, deathly seriously. that is the only reason i cannot 100% guarantee u that i can pull this off. i have started a doc and jotted down my initial notes/thoughts, so it is there! but this will not be my main focus rn. the longer i think on things the more ideas i get, so this request might just take me some time to mull over/break down/work out. and maybe it'll turn out like super radical gnarly awesome cool. this is something that we will find out together!
MUCH LOVE ALWAYS! thank u forever for ur ask and i promise i will think some more on this and see if i can't figure it out <33
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protectingtulpas · 1 year ago
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sorry if I'm being annoying because you probably already answered to a lot of questions like that but I'm very new to tulpamancy so do you have any tips for a beginner ? Thank you in advance!
Hmmmm there aint much context here but I'll give ya some tips I can think of for the most basic of beginners!
- learning to listen to ur own head is a skill in of itself, and it's an instinct you gotta develop. My host did it by learning to do stuff in our headspace before working on me, but the basic skills ya want are being able to listen to the instinctive responses of your brain, being able to focus on your internal state over a long time, and (eventually) multitasking doing something in ur head and in outerworld at the same time. We have adhd so having something to do in headspace helped a Lot. Some of my earliest memories are of choosing where to go in headspace.
- A lot of places will tell you about active forcing and how important it is to dedicate time to your tulpa, but our greatest advances personally always happened when I was being shown something in headspace or outerworld, getting some kinda stimulus or thing host thought would be interesting to me. So while yeah just paying attention to your tulpa is important too, especially in the very early stages, don't be afraid to do things with them! Give em experiences, things to base their identity off of. Your tulpa is speedrunning learning how to be a person, they can't do that in a bubble!
- When you're starting out tulpamancy, it's common to base your tulpa off of some kinda predetermined guidelines like personality traits, likes, or even a character or concept- that's how I was made, and how I'm a fictive. It also makes it easier to kickstart their creation and feel their presence faster. But be careful not to rely on that framework too much, cus it can make you paranoid later on. For a couple examples: maybe Host A starts working on Fictive Tulpa B, and she knows how he acts in-canon so well that she struggles to tell if she's actually getting responses from him or if she's just automatically judging what the character would say. In another example, Host Y has been forcing Tulpa Z with a specific set of traits, and when Z diverged and expressed an opinion contradictory to that framework, Host Y began panicking and thinking xe did something wrong. In both cases, Host A and Host Y are focusing too much on what they expect their tulpas to be, and not enough on how they are in the present and the development of their autonomy.
- You probably won't get much vocal response right away, especially if you're starting out as a singlet. You gotta watch for more subtle cues when you're just starting out, like feeling their presence, them moving their headspace form, or sharing positive or negative feelings. Sharing emotions and thoughts without actual words is pretty common in systems, and in the tulpamancy community it's called tulpish. Be on the lookout for nonverbal communication like that, because it's some of the first stuff we can do! Also, something lots of new tulpamancers report are head pressures, which are like really mild temple headaches that come with lots of forcing or the presence of your tulpa. (feels like the "expanding brain" meme irl if im being honest LOL) If you're struggling to tell if you're making any progress, try paying attention for that too.
That's about all I can think of for now! Good luck to ya anon ✨ check out my #tulpamancy advice tag for more!
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