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grigori77 · 2 days ago

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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 114

Wow, yeah, that was LOUD! Matt's right, they're just RARING to go right now ...

A time capsule, Sam? Really? Oh gods Sam, no ... PLEASE don't evoke the cursed memory of the Cats movie, you know not what you do ... Sam: "Robbie, you have a line." Robbie: "No I don't! No I ... wow, you guys looked really young in 2019!" Sam: "And we still do!" Yeah ... definitely ... Sam really has let this one devolve into chaos, hasn't he? Dear gods ... I always say this mighty be their worst ad yet, but I think this one might be the blue ribbon baby ...

Marisha: "It's making your lips BLUE!!!" O.O

Laura: "Speaklng of Critmas ... did we talk about that?" Ashley: "I don't know!"

Oh my fucking gods there's an ACTUAL Tusk Love BOOK coming out? Holy cow ... O.O Ashley: "It better be smutty!" Indeed!

That's a good point ... how IS the wedding gonna work if they DIE?!!!

Ooooooooooh ... nervous, nervous ... so nervous! This could go SO BAD!!! I'm so anxious, guys!

First look at the Battlmap for this session ... and it's a MONSTER ... holy fuck this is SO FUCKING INTIMIDATING ... this is where it's all gonna kick off, then ...

Holy Aura? Okay ... so that's going on for EVERYBODY, then? Oh, that's a nice package, indeed ... but also DEFINITELY not subtle either ... hmmm ... but it's not gonna last, either ... better make it count, guys!

Oh, yeah ... smart, maybe hold off on that for a little break to get their shit in order first ... nice thinking, Liam.

No Orb in sight? Hmmmmm ... good or bad? Should we be concerned about that?

Yes. Keyleth's voice would be VERY LOW AND GRAVELLY right now ... and now Grog's using his Titanstone Gauntlets to SUPERSIZE ... oh, and Matt has an EXTRA LARGE GROG MINI?!!! Awesome!

Good point. The Orb is NOT the first order of business here ... they have to remove the Bacon ... sorry, the BEACON first ...

What WAS that strange loud buzzing thing that passed overhead in the smoky sky? Should we be worried about that?

Freedom of Movement for Keyleth and Scanlan? Oh yeah, that might be helpful with him having A MASSIVE HORSE BODY right now!

SIX HUNDRED FEET?!!! Fucking hell, Vex ... that bow is OP'd. I mean this whole crew is pretty OP'd, but still ...

Windup toys? Intriguing ... Professor Anders with a vial of green liquid ... sounds potentially destructive ... is this gonna be a Jinx's monkey-bomb with the Hex crystals kind of situation?

Keyleth's Call Lightning's still up? Cool.

So, Vex fires off an explosive shot to DEVASTATING EFFECT with a genuine NAT-FUCKING-20!!! Okay, then ... what a way to start this off ... AND with a Sneak Attack? Holy shit ... this is gonna be a SCARY amount of damage ... lots of dice maths, especially with the doubling ... O.O ... really, that was like 77 points of damage in ONE HIT?!!! Insane explosive wrecking ball of an attack there, Vex! No wonder the intended target is COMPLETELY DESTROYED in one single hit ...

And that is DEFINITELY it for any remaining pretences of stealth, definitely ... it's all KICKING OFF!!!

Marisha: "Who's mind-fucking me?" Travis: "Isn't that always the question?"

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Here we fucking GO!!!

Percy's up first? No wonder ... Bad News with a Deadeye Shot! Okay, then ... NO MERCY PERCY!!! Here we go ... he's gonna DESTROY this poor bastard ... a Psychic Shield? Oh, you cheater ... OF COURSE he takes another shot at him then ... oh fuck ... a MISFIRE?!!! Balls ... so he has to waste his Bonus to fix it ... nuts ... next shot hits, though ... and he busts the shield AND grabs some meat! Nice ...

Vex aims to finish what her hubby started on the Thought Eater ... staying at long range, she uses her Lightning Arrow ... dice maths ALMOST beats her, but she gets it together ... and yeah she manages to FUCK HIM UP!!! Nice ... now the orbs are lighting up, though ... oof ... so she scoots off out of range of THAT SHIT too ... O.O

Keyleth plunges into the ground and ploughs under to make her way as close as she can get to the Key ...

A vidulch from ABOVE?!!! What the sweet fuck? That's terrifying ... AND YES, that mini REALLY IS pure nightmare fuel! In fact I can't even call that a MINI ... O.O ... and it has a RIDER?!!! Fuck, who's THIS GUY? He sounds scary ...and the vidulch has a NAME, apparently ... Scrag? Lovely ...

And now it's SCRAG'S turn? Fuck ... and it has FIVE ATTACKS?!!! Dear fucking gods ... quite right everybody's just FREAKING OUT, Travis especially ... O.O

Travis: "Matt, what did ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

That's right, this thing is basically a FUCKING TARASQUE ... yeah, this is entirely Matt bucking for a TPK this session ... O.O

Oh great ... here come the fucking freaky ancient Reiloran hive mind, any second now ... as if we didn't have ENOUGH to deal with ...

So ... not much Lieve'tel can do right now ... so she just makes her way the best she can towards the Key instead ... but the massive horrowshow gets an attack of opportunity on her on the way ... argh ... and it FUCKING HURTS ...

The Shrikes' turn? Ouch ... this won't be pretty ... they're holding their actions? Not good AT ALL ...

Grog leaps onto the platform and tries to distract the big beastie ... meanwhile battering at a pillar with his Knuckles? Yeah, this should be interesting ... especially since he's STILL Raging ... BOOM!!! BOOM!!! He brings it down and BARELY manages to jump off in the process ... oh yeah, they don't want a piece of Grog AT ALL right now, they're smart ...

Laura: "What do you horse eyes see, Scanlan?" Cute ... XD

Scanlan starts punching the Tower with SCANLAN'S HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNDD!!! Sam has COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this, it's been SO BLOODY LONG ... and it really does absolutely BUGGER ALL ... oh dear ...

Sunder King Ozo Cruth? Hmmmm ... okay, then ... the Juggernaut on the vidulch looks up at Vex and takes his glass sword to fire at her ... but when it hits, the Dawnfather's protection instead makes his spell REBOUND back into him with a SHITTON of Radiant damage ... O.O ... nice ... which knocks him on his arse ... but he's also able to DRAG HER DOWN into melee with him? Oh shit ... and now he's pulling out a nasty barbed mace ... to attack her THREE TIMES?!!! Fuck! Bone Graver? Charming ... thankfully only one hits, and it puts him on his arse again thanks to the Dawnfather ...

Oh fuck ... NOW what? Oh fuck ... another mini that's not an actual MINI ... Vorak? Oh, that is just NASTY ...

Laura: "I think you think we're better than we are, Matt!"

So it's a bane worm? Lovely ... it goes STRAIGHT for Grog ... and starts trying to chew on him! Ow! Thankfully he JUST manages to pull free in time ... and hits back, dealing a substantial punch in return ... so it shoots a bunch of spines at him! Great ... thank fuck the Big Man is Raging ...

Cerkonos clambers over the wall in his fire elemental form and stalks up to the vidulch, then casts Cinjure Aanimals, summoning peregrine falcons? Hmmmm ... interesting choice ... they start swarming the beastie and its rider, dealing a variety of damage ... 5 D10 of Slashing damage? Nice ...

Pike shifts as close as she needs to get into range before hurling a Sunburst at the Malleus Key ... oh, apparently this is gonna be a BIG BLAST effect ... come on Everlight, kick some arse ... that's a fail for Scrag, but not for Ozo ... and another guy just gets VAPORIZED into ash ... another gets badly burned ... yeah, she has inflicted A WHOLE LOT of damage in that one hit ... meanwhile th4e flash of it lights up EVERY LITTLE DETAIL on the Tower ... and some of them are BLINDED too ...

Vorak manages to bite down on Grog this time and starts chewing on him now he's IN ITS FUCKING MOUTH!!! Oh shit! O.O

Poor blind bastard just pratfell RIGHT DOWN THOSE STAIRS ... it'd be pitiful if it wasn't a bad guy ... instead it's just FUNNY. XD

Oh shit ... those fucking orbs are doing stuff now ... help! O.O ... and now Pike's getting Mind Ravaged ... or rather NOT, she got SO FUCKING LUCKY there ... but the second one HITS!!! Oof ... Damn Psychic damage! That hurts AND disorients her.

Fuck ... Lieve'tel is uncermoniously DUMPED ON THE GROUND ... that's not nice AT ALL!!! Now she's getting mindfucked TOO ... O.o

Percy takes advantage of the flash to take a good look at the Tower ... and he FINDS THE LOCATION they're looking for! Phew! He pulls out his walking stick, pops out the blades and slashes as the Shrike ... which just misses ... NUTS!!! Next one hits, though ... then he stabs at him while SHOOTING HIM with the built-in gun! Nice ... and now the Shrike is RIGHT NEXT to Percy's toy ... so he shoots at the toy ... okay, then, this should be interesting ... Professor Anders blows up, showering the Shrike AND Scrag with a lethal toxin! Even more nice! No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Vex bamfs Trinket out behind Ozo ... REALLY?!!! And then as he starts savaging the Juggernaut she just FLIES OFF?!!! Abandoning her beloved ancient bear? O.O ... my gods ... now she starts SHOOTING AT Ozo with her bow ... Bramble Shot! Okay ... she misses ... crap! Second hits, though ... come on OP bow in the hands of the greatest ranger of all time! Nice ... that is a FUCKTON of damage, Laura! 72 points of damage in ONE ATTACK!!!

Keyleth casts Earthquake with the full intent to try and BRING DOWN THE TOWER ... O.O ... what are the chances this ACTUALLY WORKS?!!! Without accidentally killing half of them in the process? Oh my fucking gods this is HARROWING ...

Oh dear, the poor cowering Vanguard in the tent have been THOROUGHLY PULVERISED by the ensuing tremors ... yeah ... okay, so now EVERYBODY still on the ground needs to make a dex save ... crap ...

Wow ... yeah, this is taking out a BUNCH of people all at once ... oh, and Scrag get knocked on its arse, too! Completely crushing that poor bastard Shrike that was still underneath it ... wow ... meanwhile the Tower HAS taken some damage, but is still standing ...

Scrag gets back up and goes STRAIGHT for Keyleth ... crap ... MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!!! Yeah, this thing is FULLY INTENT on inflicting a whole HELL of a lot of hurt on our girl right now, including a massive amount of acidic vomit ... yuck! Shit ... now Matt's doing a whole hell of a lot of dice rolling ...

Great ... Lieve'tel's Planar Ally is now GONE ... great ...

Balls ... the Weavemind are starting to manifest then, looks like ... and now they're all getting BATTERED TO THE GROUND with psychic energy from beyond the stars! So to speak ... crap ... yeah, Vex just got pounded RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!!! That's not cool! At least it didn't break the broom, but still, HEY!!!

Lieve'tel drags herself upright and heads for the Tower ... she casts Divine Intervention to try and rip the Beason free from the structure! Holy shit ... O.O ... hundreds of ravens? Oh, that's really awesome ... go you magnificent murder! Oh yeah, that's the ticket ... yeah, there we go, it's fucking WORKING!!! THERE IT IS!!! THE BEACON!!! EXPOSED!!! PERFECT!!!

Finally a little Healing Word to pep herself up again a little ...

Grog is currently INSIDE THE FUCKING WORM!!! He immediately gets burned by acid and that just sends him into a Frenzied Rage! He is currently Drax in the belly of the weird beast at the start of Guardians Volume 2 so he just starts SMASHING AND SLASHING AWAY!!! Thanks to his Brutal Criticals this is a FUCKTON of damage ... he is thoroughly FUCKING THIS THING UP from within! That's over 100 points of damage in one turn and so no surprise it just PUKES HIM RIGHT OUT AGAIN ... now he's just slashing away again from the OUTSIDE ...

Scanlan uses Scanlan's Hand to try and pluck the Beacon loose ... oh, this might not work ... let's see if he beats the spell ... 26? Hmmmm ... and that is a FAIL for the tower's structure ... yeah, he wins and the Beacon has been pulled out ... oh my fucking gods the Bloody Bridge GUTTERS OUT!!! YEAH!!!

The storm overhead just blows itself out VIOLENTLY, blasting the battlefield with massive winds, but overhead the leylines start to return to their original configuration! Holy shit! They did it!

And now Matt calls a break ... yup ...

So, back with THE REST of Scanlan's turn ... he bringsd the Beacon back to him and drops it right at his feet. Then he casts Dominate Monster on Scrag? Holy fuck ... and it FUCKING WORKS?!!! Unbelievable ... so he commands it to attack ANYTHING on its back ... INCLUDING TRINKET?!!! Oh my fucking gods! O.O

Now it's Ozo's go! He leaps off the back of the Vidulch, using Frenzied Wrath to attack Vex ... oh shit ... so Scanlan tries to mitigate the damage with Cutting Words ... oh boy, this could fail so spectacularly ...

Thank fuck for the Dawnfather ... Vex still gets hurt but it knocks the Juggernaut on his arse again ... he gets back up and just goes for her AGAIN ... more damage for BOTH of them, and Scanlan's Cutting Words does BUGGER ALL ...

Wait ... so he's basically stuck in an attack loop until he fails THREE TIMES?!!! I mean it's hurting him but it's STILL hurting HER too! One miss ... then two ... come on, one more ... fuck, Vex is not DOWN ... but Death Ward brings her back up! Shit, he hits her AGAIN!!! He is FULLY INTENT on ripping her to shreds ... she's down and he just keeps hitting her! She's dying! FUCK!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Her final thoughts are of her children ... fuck ... and Percy ... she REACHES FOR HIM ... gods FUCKING DAMN IT!!! Fuck ... is Vex really DEAD now? O.O

Grog keeps on hacking away at the worm ... it blasts him with spines, then tries to bite him again ... which fails SPECTACULARLY!!! Phew ...

Cerkonos jumps down and tries to get to Grog ... he burns his action getting there, so he can't do anything else ... nuts ...

Pike does everything she can to get to Vex, using Divine Intervention to call on the Everlight to bring her back ... oh PLEASE let this work ... PLEASE ... oh ... oh fuck ... the Dawnfather's helping too? Oh thank fuck ... nice save, guys! Yes! She's back ... that's such a relief ... finally Pike piles in a 3rd Level Healing Word into her for good measure ... thank you so much Pickle, youre the MVP like always ...

Okay, so half of the scattered foot soldiers are just BOOKING IT now the Bridge of gone ... nice ... another one tries to attack Cerkonos and gets burned in the process ... oof ...

Shit ... the orbs are still working! That's not good ... so Grog gets a MASSIVE blast from the nearest one, which he barely shakes off thanks to the Knuckles ... oh shit, looks like they're just ALL shooting at Grog right now ... O.O ... shit ...

Gods, this is fucking EXHAUSTING ... I'm so worn out by this endless battle ... these sessions really do take so much out of me ...

Percy is FUCKING FURIOUS about what Ozo just did to his wife and is THOROUGHLY INTENT on killing him spectacularly dead ... he walks right through an attack of opportunity without even slowing down! Bloody hell ... oh fuck No Mercy Percy is ALL THE WAY ON right now! He casts Hex, pulls out Manners and throws it ... and MISSES!!! Shit! Okay, now what? So he just pulls out Bad News and starts blasting! A Grit point for advantage, nice ... BOOM!!! Another shot ... BOOM AGAIN!!! Action Surge, then ... fuck, misfire! He pulls out Animus instead ... another hit! BANG!!! Another! Whirling Parry? Oh you fuck ... another Action Surge, then ... another hit! BANG!!! So he pumps 6 Points of Cabal's Ruin in for good measure ... a tone of Lightning damage, then! CRACK-POW-BOOM!!! Yet ANOTHER hit! BOOM!!! And another! BOOM!!! That is an INSANE bout of damage inflicted ... and the fucker is STILL STANDING?!!! My gods ...

Vex gets up, grabs her broom and flies up into the air. Yeah, smart, after all that she NEEDS to keep some distance right now ... she fires an Explosive arrow at him ... which he ALSO parries ... CRAP!!! Her second arrow misses ... shit! She just made herself a target again ...

Keyleth switches into her Air Elemental form, throwing another Earthquake wave through everything as she boosts herself up into the air. Heading STRAIGHT for the top of the Tower ...

Oh nice! Yes! The Weavemind's orb pillars are FALLING!!! Sweet Kiki you total BADASS!!! You did it! Awesome! Unfortunately everybody has to make a save to keep from getting knocked down or even crushed all over again ... CRAP!!!

The Tower's collapsing? Oh man ... is that good or bad? Can Keyleth find the Ball? YES!!! There it is! GO KIKI GO!!! Get it! Quick! Oh wait ... it's CRACKING?!!! Yes! Get it quick!

Strength check, then ... roll well, Marisha! PLEASE!!! O.O 18? Is that good enough?

The sphere shatters ... a cluster of black shadow ... mist ... it's forming into something ... VAX!!! VAXILDAN LIVES!!! Sort of! Yes! And he's got the mini out and everything! Yes!

Liam is ROLLING FOR VAX!!! OH MY FUCKING GODS!!! He's battered to fuck from the strain and all this damage but he's STILL IN IT!!! That is ONE HELL of an Initiative roll, he's SECOND ON THE ROSTER!!! Unbelievable ... O.O

Scrag is still under the Command to attack whatever's on its back ... shit ... oh, okay ... it's going for Ozo instead? Thank fuck ... yeah, now Trinket's just having a ride instead! XD ... it rains down a metric shitton of damage on Ozo ... and he just TAKES IT ... yeah, that can't be good ... and he's STILL UP ... unbelievable ...

Lieve'tel has the Beacon ... and she's now being INFLUENCED BY IT ... crap! Roll good to shake THAT SHIT off, Liam! She makes her way best she can for Vex ... oh, okay ... she burs her NINTH LEVEL Mass Heal ... 700 hit points overall? HOLY SHIT ... well that's Vax back to full strength, then Vex too ... and everybody else in range ... FUCKING BEAUTIFUL ... YES!!!

Dampen Divinity? You fuckers ... only HALF the points, then? Hmmmmm ... it's still great, though ... fucking BEAUTIFUL save, goth dominatrix elf girl!

The remaining Shrike rushes Grog ... that's some damage, but with his Rage he's just shrugging it right off ... Grog just batters him right back and he's wobbling punch-drunk now ... Grog: "Run ..." He just walks right past him to give the Shrike an attack of opportunity, which he just shrugs right off ... yeah, he's just going STRAIGHT for Ozo ...

Reckless Rage? Oh here we fucking GO!!! He just UNLEASHES on the Juggernaut ... those are some INSANE hits, this is gonna be EPIC ... O.O ... fucking hell that's a lot of dice rolling right now ... oh yeah, he doesn't even FINISH before Matt says: "How do you wanna do this?" He just ENDS Ozo ... and turns him into a meat puppet ... fucking beautiful ... in a really twisted way ...

Both the remaining monsters start SCREECHING in fury at the death of their master ... crap ... this looks like it's going to be REALLY BAD ...

Scanlan fires a bolt of Lightning at the floaty guy ... okay ... yeah, he just DISINTEGRATES that one ... so he tries another Command on Scrag, hoping he can turn it on the worm ...

Vorak the worm lunges for Pike ... yeah, 24 hits ... crap ... she can shrug off the damage, at least, but can she beat the grapple? Oh balls ... yeah, she's in its mouth ... FUCK!!! Now it's shooting spines in all directions ...

Cerkonos swipes at the Shrike with his flaming hand and just ENDS HIM at last ... meanwhile ... oh gods, he is SUCH A NERD I love it ... s he bamfs himself right in front of the worm and ... oh, y'know what? As far as Vicious Mockery goes that's actually really good ... yeah, he's now set it on fire AND is now siccing his birds on it too ... and finally bamfs INSIDE the worm and starts fighting it from within too ... oh wow ...

War God's Blessing? Oh, nice boost there, Pikey!

Pike ... is currently being burned with acid! Shit! She Inflicts a SEVENTH LEVEL Inflict Wounds from within its throat ... oh, this is gonna be sweet ... NINE D10 of damage? Fucking hell this IS gonna be sweet ... O.O ... 42 points of damage? Spectacular ... yeah, it TOTALLY spits her right back out again. Grog catches her ... and they're BOTH splashed with more acid spit ...

One remaining Thought Eater ... tries to summon the Weavemind? Crap ... to Scanlan just Counterspells at Level 6 ... O.O ... oh NICE!!! YES!!! Scanlan just looks it dead in the eye ... and takes a dump. Like punctuation. XD

The remaining Vanguard troopers attack Vax ... who just shrugs it off ... they try to retreat ... and he just cuts right back at them. Oh yeah, THAT ONE'S gonna get FUCKED UP ...

Percy climbs as high as he can before taking aim at Vex' would-be attackers ... damn it ... fucking psychic shields ... Secon Wind for Bonus? Okay ... oof ... yeah, Tal just rolled BALLS this round ... nuts ...

Vax has clearly lost NONE of his spectacular skill since he got locked away ... yeah, he's just CARVING THESE GUYS TO PIECES ... I love it ... and yes now he has extra SMITE!!! Nice ... and that's a HDYWTDT on the Thought Eater! Yes! He's back, baby!

Family reunion, and his lady love once more ... oh, that's so sweet ...

Vex takes a moment to welcome him back ... then flies off to approach the monsters. She paints a Hunter's Mark on the worm, then shoots ... hmmmm ... not the BEST rolls ... but it's better than nothing ... she shoots again ... a Residuum arrow this time? Oh, this should be interesting ... with Sharpshooter ... and AGAIN it looks like she's rolling balls ... but she STILL gets the HDYWTDT! Thank fuck ... okay,k so now it's got a TREE growing out the back of its head, while Cerkonos pours a Lightning Bolt into it, splitting the trunk in two and killing the worm in the process ...

Oh yeah ... Scanlan, totally, send it to just kill as many vanguard as possible ... or just set it free in the desert? Oh wow ... it's TRYING TO BOND WITH HIM right now ... that's so fucking weird ...

Vex just sucks it into her locket ... yeah, that's probably for the best. Phew ... thank fuck ...

Is that it? Did we win?

The twins are FINALLY REUNITED ... oh my gods this is amazing ...

So ... he's STILL tethered to the Matron? Bugger ... but it wasn't exactly unexpected ... how long does he have with them, then?

Oh okay ... the reinforcements have arrived? That's it then ... the battle's over, then. They did it.

Issylra? What's that about?

Please just let him stay ... just give him a little time ... he's fought so hard, he deserves a little something ... just the tiniest little respite ...

The Matron: "The night is yours." Okay ... is that ... just THIS night, or something more?

Hold his hand Kiki ... you don't know how long you might have for this, take it while you can ...

Rest. Yes. One day, that's good. Take it a day at a time.

So this is a finite thing, then. They have one brief moment of respite, they should make the most of it while they can.

Meanwhile Grog's just having fun mopping up what's left of the resistance ... yeah, that's about right ...

To Whitestone? Yeah. Go. Now.

Yes. Let Vex meet his nieces and nephews while he can.

Oh, they're using the split tree in the worm's head to step through? That's ballsy. And kind of irreverent too. I love it.

That's it for Vox Machina, then. Next time it's back to the Moon. For Bells Hells and the Mighty Nein ... next time round. Is it Thursday yet?

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grigori77 · 2 months ago

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Critical Role, Season 3 Episode 106

Czepeku? Oh boy ... please tell me it's another fantastic fake advert ... PLEASE let it be a fake perfume ad ... oh boy ... yes, yes yes yes ... YES!!! Holy fuck ... whoa, Ashley you don't have to go THAT HARD ... fuck me she's so hot ... that was SO FUCKING GOOD ... I'm so happy with that one, that's WAAAAAAAAAY too good ...

Also Matt's t-shirt is gonna be SO FUCKING DISTRACTING, I swear to the dark gods ...

Yeah, we're all SO HYPED for Legend of Vox Machina season 3. I'm just hoping Rothuss is gonna be in it. I want Kerrek to be in the new season SO MUCH. Let Keyleth have her sweet and kindly uncle figure, it's so worth it ...

THE "IT HAS BEGIN" SHIRT!!! SHAME ON A SHIRT INDEED!!! He is NEVER going to live that down and I love it so much ... XD

"Modest collection" ... snort ... yeah right ...

Attunements and messages ... yes, smart ... getting through to Ira, then ... this should be interesting ...

Oh here we go ... Imogen: "He's down to play." Uh-huh ...

Meet up with him at Morrie's? Oh yeah ... yeah, that would DEFINITELY be interested ... wait ... Fearne thinks they might've had ... liaisons when she was home? O.O

Two expert liars going head-to-head ... FEARNE wins that toss? Fascinating ...

Heading to Nana Morri's in the morning, then ... okay ...

Ira remembers her ... OH. MY. GAAAAWWWWWWWWD ...

Bedtime, then ... meanwhile Fearne goes hunting for the superfan ...

Oh dear ... I wonder if him considering that egg "priceless" make her decide to just steal it on general principal ... oh, she's going THAT route? I'm sorry ... "stories of his CONQUESTS"?!!! Excuse me? O.O

Persuasion check? With a stupid high DC? 15? Balls ... yeah, I didn't think that was gonna work anyway ...

She's gonna steal it now, isn't she? Yup ... "Look how good they are ... ALMOST." LOL

It's not even locked ... WOW ... Raiders of the Lost Ark ... yeah ... and now she's trapped ... oh boy ... yeah, I saw that coming too ... this is really kind of adorable ...

He's praying for guidance to be forgiving ... wow ... yeah ... religious types ... LOL

Laura: "Are you dead?" Travis: "Oh ... yeah ... hold on ..." For fuck's sake ... O.O

Oooh! Breakfast! Goody!

Wait a second ... IS THIS A FUCKING HERO'S FEAST?!!! Oh, and that is a BURN right there ... Fearne, you deserve that ...

Laudna, that joke fell VERY flat ... yeah ...

"Top of the Pops" ... oh my gods ...

Yes, you are, Chet. You're starting a fucking cult ... O.O

"My liege" ... holy fuck ... Chetney: "I got lieged!" XD

Tiny carved peacock figurine, fully articulate ... that is fucking FIENDISH ... damn right that boy has been brought to fucking TEARS ...

The fifth egg ... oh boy ... what have you done, Matthew Mercer?

"Misery", by Dreven King ... LOL

The Birthheart ... and Keyleth! Yay!

Oh yeah ... plans for a quick escape, if needed ... yeah ... oh, and supplies! Yes. Also helpful. And yay! She's got 'em covered, of course she does.

Just a big fat bag of coins? Holy shit ... of course, I mean ANYTHING for her favourite halfling, of course ... :3

550 gold ... HOLY SHIT ...

Yes. Give that to Orym. Definitely. Tank the Wee Man when needed.

The mechanics of communication between the Prime Deities and the Betrayer Gods ... hmmmmm ... yes, a Religious check is probably wise ... roll well, Riegel ... 15 ... oh for fuck's sake ...

Laudna: "Open ralationships are in right now." Wow ...

To the Fey Realm, then? Or ARE THEY gonna shop first? Straight to Nana's place, then ... okay ...

Marisha: "Keyleth's more fun that Allura." Matt: "Allura's got strong ... like, sprinster vibes." XD

Another tree portal! Fearne: "Such a fun way to travel."

Yup ... first time in the Feywild for Dorian and Braius ...

Chetney gets some fey wood ... yup ... that's definitely on-brand ...

Ligament Manor! Yeah! This should be fun for the noobs ...

That is a ... CREEPY owl ... Laudna's loving it, of course. Meanwhile Dorian's keeping a brave face on while he's inwardly FREAKING OUT. Of course he is ... meanwhile Imogen's trying to keep him chilled out as she can ...

Oh fuck ... the flowers again ... please don't start screaming this time ... O.O

Braius is ROTTING THE GROUND where he steps ... of course he is ...

Dorian's playing music ... oh, the Cantina band music from A New Hope? Cute ... Matt: "We can't clear that." XD

Great. That's stuck in my head now ...

There it is. One of the creepiest houses in all the Realms ... how's Blue Boy gonna react to THIS?

Of course she just screams out: "NANA!!!"

The voice ... I have missed that phenomenally EXTRA voice ...

Here we go ... I can just IMAGINE Dorian's eyes getting wider ... and wider ... Robbie's face! It's priceless! XD

Greetings, Dorian. This is going to live in your nightmares for DECADES. And the second mouth ... Dorian: "Oh, grandma kisses are always wet!" LOL

Wwo ... oh, she LIKES the minotaur ... and is Sam making Braius' voice EXTRA low right now? LOL ... oh, this is too priceless ... wow ... he is actually FLIRTING right now, I love it ... oh yes! Drinks! Drinks are good, yes ...

Nana: "You're so CUTE!!! Where are you FROM? You smell like shadow and bad choices!"

Ah yes ... of course ... we should've REMEMBERED that this sudden success of Chetney's must be down to the deal he made with her ...

What are the chances Fearne really DOES have a second face down in her marsupial pouch?

Imogen (to Braius): "Do YOU have siblings?" Braius: "... I hadn't thought of that." LOL

THE TIKI BAR!!! YAY!!!

Oh ... dropping the news that Ira might be dropping by ... oh ... this just got interesting ... that's a very ... UNEXPECTED reaction from her there ... hmmmmm ... O.O

Insight check THE FATESTITCHER?!!! Seriously?

Bountiful luck ... Laura: "I reroll ones? Just because you're NEAR me?" O.O

Yeah ... the death of FCG ... I really didn't need THAT wound reopening just yet ... thanks for that ...

The weird dead Ruidian ... THING in the jar ... yeah, Laudna would be reluctant to part with THAT ... oh, a trade? Yeah, that'd probably work better ...

Oh shit ... enter the Nightmare King ... here we go ... oh, so he's LITERALLY just come STRAIGHT from the Red Moon ...

That is a VERY unsettling handshake ... O.O

She's giving him the COLD SHOULDER ... I love it ... and making out like Braius is the new boytoy ... XD ... that's hilarious and adorable in the freakiest way possible ...

Ira: "I like boom-boom." Oh boy ...

Noooooooo ... Braius, you didn't ... that is SOOOOOOO BAD ... I love that so much ... LOL

Ah yes ... Nan Morri, you old flirt ... it's adorable and deeply unsettling ... and now Pate's getting in on the act too? Wow ...

Oh wow ... a flimpse of Morri in her youth? That's just FASCINATING ... and also pure nightmare fuel, of course ...

Yeah ... Nana and Orym ... okay ... how's THIS gonna go? O.O ... do I need to worry?

Birdie! Oh my gods! Awwwwwwwwww ... :3

Fancy magic lens-glass necklace? Cute ... and probably a little lucky too, I don't doubt ...

Getting to it, then ... hmmmm ...

Nine freaky long-necked six-legged spectral horses ... freaky shit ... okay, then ... oh, they can FLY? Of course they can fly ... wow ...

Oh ... good question ... how old IS SHE?!!! Oh wow ... the return of "time is a weird soup" ... :3

Thankfully, Chetney doesn't literally make a horse's arse of himself ... XD ... heading off into the wilderness with Fearne in the lead, then ...

Oh dear ... Fearne doesn't know WHERE they're going ... of this is embarrassing ... but atleast IRA does ...

Nana Morri slaps Braius's arse as they leave ... oh boy ...

Wondering what Braius looks like from the waist down ... dear gods please defend us from dirty minds ... LOL ... just kidding ... XD

Time for a break, then ...

Beacon is a "non-invasive subscription" ... XD

Marisha LITERALLY channeling Laudna for a moment and forgetting that she is NOT an undead creature as she cracks her neck ... oof ... O.O

Pass Without a Trace? Oh these things?

Starting to reel off Japanese junkfood names for their horses ... oh yeah, with this crew I am NOT surprised ... voice actor's man ... XD

"Spread your legs ... I mean your wings ..." Oh dear ... well done, Matt ... Ashley: "I was spreading my legs all over town ..." LIam invokes the shirt once they're all dissolved into a cackling mess ... XD

Time to hide, yeah ... nd they need to REIN THEIR RIDES IN too ... oh boy ... this is not good ...

The trees are DANGEROUS ... fucking hell ... they're actually getting CUT UP riding through this shit! Oh dear ...

Imogen Temult, Horse Girl ...

Ashton literally DESTROYS a fey bird when he runs into it ... ouch ...

Coming to a stop, then ... and the horses go POOF!!! Great ...

Orym is as lithe and skilful a climber as ever, then ...

Wow ... this place is GORGEOUS, even in its state of decrepitude ... and that is one BIG ASS temple in the middle of it all ... yeah, looks like this place has beenm COMPLETELY abandoned ... just a whole lot of CORPSES ... OLD ones, looks like ...

Dragging Fearne up onto the wall like a sack of potatoes ... oh dear ... XD

SOLDIERS!!! Watch out for that ... potential trouble, then ... looks tricky, that ...

Hunter's Bane? Hmmm ... nothing iffy here, looks like ...

Pass Without a Trace ...

Chetney and Imogen climb down to sneask into the town itself, Dorian following with Ira taking up the rear ... and Telepathic Link between the group? Smart ...

Fearne trips and makes noise at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME ... oh shit ... O.O ... is this gonna be a bad thing? Yeah, that hawk can't mean anything good ... balls ... Laudna makes Pate turn invisible and sends him after it ...

Dead elf ... hmmm ... Grim Psychometry? Really? Lovely ... oh, this can't be good AT ALL ... something truly HORRIBLE happened here ...

THE WATER? That's what did it? They were all POISONED by something in the water? Something monstrous? Charming ...

So they're definitely based IN the temple, then ...

Big black dog ... with a human face ... well that's ... unsettling. That can't be good either ...

Battlemap? PLEASE tell me this is just for REFERENCE ... that we don't actually NEED THIS ... hollow prayers, I know ...

That is a fricking SWEET set-up, though ... O.O

At least the bone-rat has high stealth ... except when Marisha rolls proper BALLS ... 7? Oh gods ... yeah, there's NO WAY they could've possibly missed that ... and then he APOLOGISES for being clumsy. OUT LOUD ...

NOW Dorian remembers he can turn Invisble ...

The Monocle of True Essence with Arcane Eye ... okay, then ... Chetney, what do your non-elf eyes see?

Matt: "Chet's way off --" Marisha: "Yeah he is." Oof ... XD

Sneaky sentries? WITH crossbows? Crap ... that's not good ...

Dorian's having trouble getting the hang of communicating through the Telepathic Link and it's adorable. XD

Some winged invisible thing wrapped around the side of the temple ... oh shit ... yeah, OF COURSE it's fucking Gloamglut! Great ...

Ludinus! You asshat! Great ... and of course that has to be Zathuda with him ... meanwhile whoi's this other guy with the soldiers? Another Unseelie elf, of course, but ...

Load-bearing pillars? The fact that Matt SPECIFICALLY described them as "load-bearing" ... yeah, that could be useful somehow ...

Ira Wendigoth, jumping the gun ... of course he does ...

The mini! The Ira mini! It's so cool! O.O

Working out what they can actually DO ...

Chetney wolfs out and goes Invisible ... and puts on his fancy flesh armour ... eww ...

How the hell can LIAM O'BRIEN possible have rolled TWO NAT1S on Stealth in a row? I didn't think that was possible ...

Chetney lands two hits and CRITS a third ... ouch ... he's just gonna straigh up MURDER this poor bastard ... 23 for the first and 19 for the second ... the last is the decider. HDYWTDT ... yeah ... oh, that is BRUTAL ... like I said, straight up murder ...

That's right, Dorian can't cast without dropping his Invisibility ... be careful, Robbie ... he tries to Charm it? Wow ... and it WORKS ... holy shit ... this freaky dog is WEIRD ... wow ... he's actually trying to convince it to just GO STRAY ... what the fuck even IS THIS SHIT right now? O.O Oh my gods I can't believe that ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED ...

And now this other guy's GOING AFTER IT ... crap ... and he sees Dorian ... BALLS!!!

Braius throws Silence upon him ... okay ... then ImogenPsychic Lances him ... good thing the guy's DUMB ... fuck that's a lot of dice ... how much are you about to hurt this guy, Laura Bailey? 25 points of Psychi damage? OUCH ... he screams and NOTHING COMES OUT ... crazy ...

Laudna pulls a Chill Touch on him by remote? Using one of the bodies ... oh fuck NAT20!!! Holy shit ... 38 ... oh yeah, DEFINITELY HDYWTDT ... she just gets the dead hands to DRAG HIM INTO THE GROUND like in Drag Me To Hell ... holy shit ... O.O

More Silence ... okay then, Ira ...

Meanwhile the third guy's starting to twig ...

Chetney and Ashton both hit him simulataneously ... Nat20 from Travis ... this is going CRAZY well so far ... Matt: "How do you guys wanna do this?" Of course! Fucking hell, Chet ... that is NASTY ...

What's Ira doing? O.O ... oh, he just freezes them both on the spot ... so Orym just rushes in with Ashton in tow, Braius following their lead ... Orym Misty Steps in close while Braius Silences them ...

Orym Crits on his target because he's Paralyzed ... 30 damage for the first hit, 24 on the second, 32 on the third ... yeah, he kills the poor bastard on the spot. Ouch ...

Ashton Crits ON TOP of his ALREADY Crit ... wow ... he does the Cosmic Space Rage and it goes all red ... Taliesin is DOING MATHS ... yeah, that's yet ANOTHER HDYWTDT ... he grabs him, pounds on him, drops him THROUGH A WORMHOLE and then drops him thirty feet out the other sid to the ground ... oh that is NASTY ... poor bastard ...

So that was ... remarkably easy ... now they just have to deal with whoever's INSIDE ...

MORE furtive planning on the next stage and what they can actually DO ...

Oh, so there's an ARGUMENT going on inside? So everything is not so merry in there? Orym listens in ...

Yeah, this DOES sound a bit frayed ... clear disharmony ... whoever this is, they're clearly uncomfortable under Ludinus' thumb ... oh, so it's ZATHUDA who's straining at the leash? Wow ... that's even MORE fractious than we hoped it was ...

Decision point ... so Laudna just casts Animate Object on the statue of the ArchHeart within ... oh boy ... O.O

Gloamglut touches down HARD inside ... meanwhile the other fey etc. go rushing in after ...

They're all just attacking the staue, then ... IMogen and Laudna go in, Imogen flying through a window, Fearne rushes in after, looking for the pillars so she can try and collpase them ... meanwhile they're all distracted, the dragon especially ...

Oh, is Matt getting another Battlmap? Oh, he is! Cool ...

Cue YET MORE plotting and prepping their next moves as they get a bearing on the fresh ground ...

WOW that Gloamglut mini is INSANE ... Ashley: "Look at him! He's so cute!" REALLY?!!!

The statue is just SHATTERED ... okay then ... NOW what?

Further planning, planning, planning ...

Time's running out, clearly ... Fearne has SECONDS left to do SOMETHING ... she bamfs Mister out to channel through him ... smart ... she unleashes her spell and turns the floor into MUSH ... and of course EVERYTHING starts to collapse inwards ... so she starts running back out ...

Imogen unleashes her Telekinesis to pull the pillars down quicker, while Ashton burrows in using his Titan form ... it's all just pure confusion ... while the dragon spots her ...

And then Matt calls it a night! Shit! What does that mean? What further madness does he have planned?

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