#and hasnt been processing
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still sick, losing hair on my head and face
the antibiotics worked 2 a degree but now they just stopped
#found out i have anemia again#after like..#2yrs#and everything ive been putting in my body just goes out#and hasnt been processing#i lost like around 10lbs in a week#trying not 2 like cry rn because i worked really hard 2 take care of my hair and gain weight#after yrs of EDs and being super immunocompromised#going 2 try 2 get my iron up#need biotin supplements or something because im stressing out abt it and that .. does not help at all#really just super stressed and sad rn idk how 2 process stuff#bc this whole time ive been like haha im fine dw :]#and like im . not fine at all i can feel my ribs and bald patches on my head#its 5:30 am#i cant even think abt laying down rn :[#toby speaks#collective talks#vent post
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one small step for. kitties
#mine#cats#i was gna share th process vid of this but its just 90% drawing little dots not thrilling#anyway i had a Day today but we live we go forth !!#i am going to try a new journal thing bc th hobonichi hasnt been slaying ngl . i might b a filofax girlie#ive bought a 2nd hand one off ebay for 12£ which will Do For Now to see if actually like it#i need to figure out th sizing of my pages im gna make my own....brain is so so small#i was gna do mini pages for daily journaling but i think ive excepted i am not. gna journal everyday like thats not happening#n then what happens when im then using dated journals is i fall behind n then i hve such an atrocious memory i cant remember what i did#like 3 days prior to back fill so its lots of empty pages and AAAA#ironic that i am journaling to help my symptoms but my symptoms r stopping me from journaling. can i win once#anyway i think this system will be better yes yes
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
#bakugou x reader#bakugo#this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u#no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war#i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL#like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying#and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO#and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy#but he's not like. *there*. you know#and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with#and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk#your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was#but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him#but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut#and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day#and only watches japanese top gear#and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it#DREAM BOY#and then he's big hero later#anyway#caitie post#gen
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#slow down slow thE FUCK DOWN#HOW DID WE GET TO 109 MANGA READERS HAVENT EVEN HAD TIME TO PROCESS THAT SHIT YET#well hey maybe theyll adapt a chapter that hasnt been released yet i feel like thats where theyll go#but damn guys#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd manga#bsd spoiler#bsd spoilers#bsd anime#bsd season 5#bungou stray dogs season 5#bungo stray dogs season 5#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#osamu dazai#dazai#aya koda#bsd aya#bram stoker#bsd bram#nakajima atsushi#atsushi#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#bungou stray dogs atsushi#bsd meme
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When any of my friends get diagnosed officially with autism, I watch them go gradually from one phase to the next regards Empathy.
The first phase is the: 'Oh, no, I don't have empathy, I can't interpret feelings very well you see. I always found it difficult, and now I know that I dont understand feelings very well' phase.
Which theyve been taught via the process of trying to get diagnosed. Its a topic used a lot to identify autism and used in many diagnosis tools.
Then eventually, once they've been diagnosed, and so have the freedom to fully explore themselves without holding up their differences through the lense of specific criterias needed to get a diagnosis, they start to go through the next phase:
'But it is kinda strange....because I do feel things a lot. And I understand other peoples feelings. In fact I feel like I feel emotions more intensely than other people. But I just get misinterpreted a lot, because its like we communicate differently...'
And then they get to that final conclusion:
'OH, I do have empathy. I have a lot of empathy. I recognise feelings very well. Its just that Im not speaking the NT language, and they aren't speaking mine. So Im in a world where the feelings get lost in translation'
I observe this a lot because from an outsider pov, its very easy to see that your friends have empathy and feelings, even if they've convinced themselves during the 'Im autistic' realisation that they dont. And Ive been through this myself, many years ago. You know you're different/autistic, and try to squeeze into the specifics set up for a diagnosis criteria originally made by NTs
#obvious clause here that some autistic genuinely find empathy difficult#But in my friend group this hasnt been the case so far#so Im talking about a specific process I see#but not every autistic person will go through this obviously because some ppl#autistic or not#struggle with recognising feelings or empathy#autism#actually autistic#autism musings#autistic community
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byakuya when makoto and kyoko invite him to sleep in their room (he doesnt understand the concept of polyamory) (he thinks they are mocking him)
#they live in the same house#byakuya thinks he is third wheeling established naegiri hard but hasnt processed his repressed feelings for them enough to back away#(they have been hitting on him for 6 months)#naegirigami#tonaegiri#danganronpa
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I'm replaying JfA and I gotta say its very valid of this 8 year old to be currently in a phase of making shipping her cousin with her boss her entire personality. Extremely annoying, but in a way where it's like. Yeah. Good writing. Pearls' mom just went to prison and she's discovering an entire world outside of the village she was raised in as in she didn't know what a train was, but damn if saying "special someone" isn't more fun than thinking about any of that.
(in other replaying JfA news, it looks like Franziska does vaguely want to keep her perfect record... and has canned phrases to go with it... she just forgets that she wants that when a trial goes beyond her expectations and starts revealing new info. And then after feeding the defense lines and staying quiet for the entire final questioning other than that she catches up to what just happened and freaks the fuck out. Mood, girl)
#pearl fey#ace attorney#justice for all#franziska von karma#she is soooo bad at the oppositional part of the oppositional process of a trial#she hasnt caught up to the fact shes supposed to disagree with the defense and defense is supposed to disagree with her#in her world theres a shared reality that everyone ought to agree with#and if theres disagreement that means the trial continues until every wrinkle is smoothed away#i assume her willingness to take defense on their word is unique to phoenix wright the man who saved her brothers life#its still pretty funny#phoenix: says some outrageous shit that turns the entire testimony into lies#franziska: oh shit really? well damn witness sounds like youve been lying to this court
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your favourite finn's favourite (honourary) finn
winnipeg jets @ florida panthers | 11.16.24 (x)(x)(x)
#evan rodrigues#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#2425#the finland trip has done wonders for them#if not because evan im insane about finland and will make my mark on this country whether it wants me to or not rodrigues#got cushier with sasha#not to say he hasnt already because the sasha lovechip did get implanted in his brain the second he got here#all the barky stuff he said in 2324#but also hes just gotten more uh how you say... uh blatant with it (read: NOT LIKE HE WASNT ALREADY)#roddy fits so well under sashas arm :((#the little tap he makes sure to give him :(((#crying about how smiley he gets with sasha and then remembers everyone else coming in for the celly and has to lock in#made the goofiest damn goal ever which is so in character for roddy#and got sasha to smile in the process#his court jester duties have been fufilled!!#sasha hugs him like hes his girlfriend. good for roddy.#seriously someone check in on roddy is he going into cardiac arrest after his dearly beloved finnish captain smiled and hugged him
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it still fucks me up that fuyuhiko and peko were literally kidnapped as children. i dont think anyone ever talks about that at all. is that even well known information
#probably gonna draw something related to this??#sorry. sometimes i like to read his wiki from time to time and im just like. Oh.#this guy is fucked up. we been knew but Damn#it doesnt say how young he was when that happened to him#but since it emphasizes they were children and also he hasnt cried since second grade (and he cried in those mountains)#then he was like. eight years old?#god DAMN thats so sad. imagine what happened to them dude#thats gotta impact him for a long time. and he NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT!!!#sorry im full of thoughts. maybe this is nothing. i just heart fuyuhiko. poor guy#i feel like he never ever had a chance to fully process his trauma#until literally like. after the game . way later hes able to think about it#rambling#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#danganronpa
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My brain: Hey we're drawing ur s/i for the first time you should keep it simple like a model sheet-
Me: shut up *draws them in a funky pose*
Here we are, it's my Powerpuff Girls self-insert, Cherry Coading! They work at a robotics company in Townsville and specialize in software and programming. In fact, they're one of the best in her field, which has made her a target in a few of Mojo Jojo's schemes. Even when being held hostage and made to work against her will, though, her sweet and sunny demeanor that could warm the coldest of souls never falters; they somehow always find a way to see the good in everything - and everyone.
[Reblogs are all seen and so appreciated!! 💖💖💖 S/i uses she/they interchangably.]
[WIP pics, pose reference, and tag list below the cut vvv]
Click here to be added, edited or removed from my tag list!
@ava-ships, @bee-ships, @beetleboyfriend, @canongf, @clawfull,
@cloudyvoid, @derelictdumbass, @judetama, @dissonantyote, @edencantstopfallininlove,
@final-catboy, @gible-love-nibles, @halsdaisy, @hoppinkiss, @hotrodharts,
@hyperionshipping, @iyamifucker, @lex-n-weegie, @little-miss-selfships, @little-shiny-sharpies,
@loogi-selfships, @mothfinite, @mandrakebrew, @mintpecks, @mrs-kelly,
@nameless-self-ships, @nerdstreak, @paper-carnation, @patches-and-her-selfships, @p-i-t-s,
@reds-self-ships, @rexscanonwife, @ship-trek, @spacestationstorybook, @squips-ship,
@flowering-darkness, @scroldie, @toogayforthistoday, @winterworlds
#eeeeee this was so fun to do!!! its been so long since i did traditional art 🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖#the linework was definitely the most fun to do hehehehe 💖💖💖#but man it hasnt even been 24 hours and i already have an s/i designed for this ship.... AAAAAAH#anyways here u go guys enjoy 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#💜: loving you's a felony#self shipping#self insert community#self ship community#oc x canon#ok to rb
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TIME FOR START AGAIN
Edit: hold the fuck up I'm missing something aren't I
#i took a break to process everything and now we move on!#I think this might count as torture since it hasnt even been an hour but oh well#isat#in stars and time#start again: a prologue
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pf culture is still being so unhealed after almost a decade of knowing about your system. and the shame that goes with that.
.
#my own therapist has been in therapy for like 8 years and still hasnt unpacked all her trauma#everyone goes at their own pace and healing is often a life long process#be kind and patient with yourself#polyfrag culture is#c did#cdd#cdid#complex dissociative disorder#did#dissociative identity disorder#polyfrag#polyfrag system#polyfragmented#polyfragmented did
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Im interested in a Demisexual MC and Asmo dynamic
I think asmos wanting to be loved for his personality instead of just his looks and body
And then mc not being able to be sexually attracted to someone without an emotional connection
It would be a very lovely match imo
#asmodeus x mc#asmodeus x reader#obey me asmodeus#i have two different scenes in my head#for when mc realizes they are attracted to asmo#one is when its the morning time and asmo calls out to them and they turn to greet him#and it hits suddenly almost out of no where when they see him all happy to see them#and theyre like....i forgot something#u dont have to wait up#and then they just go to hide and process in their room#the other scene is like theyre just talking about something at RAD#and asmo says something that makes them go...hmmm#and then theyre like ....wait wait wait#and theyre like omg i think i like this fool i--#i think the dynamic is also interesting cause i like the hc that says the brothers can sense when someone is feeling/indulging in their sin#so asmo is like...what was that#mc: what was what? 😐#i think it would be funny#cause it just happens and hes not expecting it at all since mc hasnt been feeling anything this whole time!#and it happens at a very mundane time#this has been in my head for a long time#writing ideas maybe#a lot of work so lets just imagine it in our heads lol
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Hello! Hope you're having a wonderful day!
Just dropping in because I saw a Tweet that immediately screamed "hunger au!Grian" in my mind, and I needed to share.
Your hunger au is one of my favourite fanfictions of all time, and I had a few planned asks about it that I'll send sooner or later, but for now I'll just say that I clicked on it for the Scarian but stayed for the worldbuilding. Your ability to worldbuild tickles something in my brain and I have all these questions and theories and general curiosity and... When I have the time to draw again I need to try and make fan art of it, 100%.
As of now, expect future asks from me, because I took notes!
(This is the tweet btw)
https://x.com/OP1KER/status/1833530261461733489?t=cXj0foO4IdPVSto-M9vbyw&s=19
Ohh this is such a sweet ask!!! Omg im so glad hunger au is one of your fave fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that makes me so happy to hear!!! Im very much looking forward to any asks you send in the future :DDD
Okay im ngl i wasnt expecting that to be the tweet and when i tell you i AUDIBLY gasped when the video started playing.... [insert horse staring at the sea meme] Man..... /pos /pos how dare that video be SO ON THE NOSE TOO HELP... THATS SUCH A GOOD POST IM OBSESSED THANK U NEIGHBOR, ITS SO GOOD
Also im so glad you like my worldbuilding!!! Hunger au is perpetually so funny to me bc i used it as an excuse to try and brush up on my abilities in that respect, since i felt like it was a skill i was pretty weak in. Apparently it paid off tho, bc i get a lot of comments telling me that people love it, which makes me SUPER happy :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️ i have a ton more worldbuilding posts i want to make in the future too, ive just gotta scrape up the energy to actually write them all first 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but its on my eventual to-do list for sure!!!
Thank you so much for such a sweet ask :DD it really made my day to get this, and i hope youre having an excellent day as well!!!
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#compliments#YOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOL THO BC I FEEL LIKE MOST PPL COME FOR THE WORLDBUILDING AND END UP SCARIANIZED IN THE PROCESS AJFJSJSJ#the scarian hasnt been super overt yet but my gods when we get some space to breathe......#scar pov gonna go so hard im ngl to yall. who said that#/DEEPLY SILLY#txt
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(shaking violently) I HATE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE.
#basil blabbers#i Sort Of lied on my last post it hasnt been radio silence exactly.#my pharmacist needs to be told to fill the scripts but my primary care doctor wont okay it unless the pharmacy asks them to#and apparently my old doctor STILL hasnt sent all of the relevant information to my new one#despite telling me TO MY FUCKING FACE that they would.#this whole process has been fucking miserable i am losing my actual mind.
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