#n then what happens when im then using dated journals is i fall behind n then i hve such an atrocious memory i cant remember what i did

[obsob]

one small step for. kitties

[spencessmile]

Page 143

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary - Spencer finds your journal.

Warnings - Depression, thoughts of suicide, self-harm, mentions of death, & angst.

Please know that you are NEVER alone. There are people who love you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT. I LOVE YOU.

Word Count - 1.3 K

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and/or post it without my consent. Feedback and Comments are welcome. Happy reading!

{Part 1 of 2}

Requests are CLOSED!

**

When you didn’t answer the door Spencer slid his spare key into the lock, turning the knob, closing the door, and setting the bag of food down on the table, as he switched on the lights.

“Y/n, you home? It’s Spencer,” Nothing. It was quiet.

Spencer knew you were having a rough couple of days so he decided to drop by bringing some rental movies and food; he knew you loved your cheesy rom coms and Thai takeout.

Spencer walked to your bedroom door, pushing it open as he noticed case files were spread across the floor. Your desk night lamp was on, with a half cup of black coffee sitting beside it.

In all the years that Spencer had known you, he definitely realized one thing about you quickly; you were messy. You were not an organized or neat person. You kept things all over the place and it was beyond Spencer’s comprehension, on how you ever found anything.

Spencer maneuvers his way through your mess, as he grasps your blinds, pushing them apart letting in the morning sun as it illuminates the dark colour scheme in the bedroom. He cracks open the window for a breeze.

Spencer sighs, looking around your room. Your go-to bag was stationed beside your bed, where it always is. Your work phone was sitting on your nightstand beside a glass, Spencer raised the glass and a strong dose of whiskey filled his nose. He noticed a pile of clothes besides your closet, which was most likely weeks of unwashed and dirty clothing.

Spencer dug his hand into his jacket pockets, as he stood amongst your disaster, he felt as if your room was staring back at him, yelling ‘clean me’.

Spencer knew you’d be super pissed at him for touching anything of yours. You liked your stuff messy; whether that be your desk space at work, your apartment, your room, or even your life. You didn’t like it when people picked at it.

Spencer couldn’t help it as he shuffled through your room, wrapping your case files and organizing them alphabetically. He grabbed your laundry basket, dropped all your clothes in as he dumped them into the washer, and added a little extra soap. He made his way to your kitchen, putting all your dishes in the dishwasher. Next, Spencer went to turn off your night light but accidentally knocked over a pile of books sitting next to your open laptop.

As he reached down to pick the books up, his eyes glanced over to a small leather book. He slowly reached for it, his hands meet a soft velvet texture. Spencer turned it over to read the words ‘This Is Who I Am’ written in cursive. His eyes moved to the right-hand side where your initials were carved.

This wasn’t a book.

It was your journal.

Spencer didn’t think much of it, he placed it on the side of the desk, reaching for the other books. Once Spencer collected your books, he placed them back on your desk, he quickly turned around but halted his steps as something fell making a loud thud noise. He noticed your journal on the floor again but this time it was opened.

Spencer reached down to pick it up, but he couldn’t help notice it was dated two days ago along with the time.

No, he shouldn’t.

He can’t possibly read what you’ve written in your journal. Those are your thoughts. Thoughts that belonged solely to you. That wasn’t anyone else’s business. Not even his; definitely not his.

He can’t do this.

He couldn’t do this to you.

But the longer Spencer stared at the journal, the urge to read it spread through his body. His eyes already read the first sentence.

The damage was done.

He looked over towards the door and then back down at the journal. He pulled out your chair, turned your nightline on, and began reading.

December 15, 2019 | 4:18 AM |

I can’t walk without wanting to fall apart. Im breaking. I can feel myself falling to pieces; all over again. Nothing is working. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t do this all over again. I barely made it out alive the first time around. I didn’t fight the last time; I was pulled out.

My mind is dark, cloudy and it’s always raining down on me. It’s a shitstorm up in there. I can feel myself slipping away from my own hands. I can’t grasp onto anything. I'm starting to feel blank, nothing. I can’t feel the hot water from the hour-long showers that burn at my skin. The boiling hot coffee when I over pour my cup. The rain when I stand outside as I let it drown me in my darkness. The warmth of some random strangers smiling as they pass me on the street. The morning sun that used to light up my insides, only makes me want to hideaway. Or even my own laughter when I pretend everything is okay for a split second.

I can’t breathe.

When I stand I can’t feel my own legs, I spend days on the floor. I lay there feeling lifeless, worthless, a burden to this world. I hate the person I see in the mirror.

I hate her. The problem is; no one hates me more than I hate myself.

She is a twisted dark person.

I have no control.

I’ve spent days and nights gripping the bottle tightly, sometimes it’s the only thing I look at. I opened it once, I dropped one into my palm and stared at it for what felt like years. I hate myself but I can never get myself to take it down. Why not? What twisted part of me still wants to live? To still be here? What is there to live for? Who is there to live for?

I’m drowning in the emptiness of nothing.

My job. My job. My job.

What the hell am I supposed to say when someone tells me I saved their life but I can barely keep mine intact. Do I say your welcome? Should I have wrapped my arm around them and held them tightly enough to make myself feel whole again? Instead, I smiled at them and said ‘you keep fighting, alright?’

I go out there and I do my job so damn well that no one knows what happens when I'm alone. But how much longer? How much longer before I crash and burn in front of them? Until they figure it out? Once they do, they'll try to help; no one can help me now. Who will they be trying to save? One of them is already on to me. I already get broken looks from them. I get sidelined and benched. They have no idea who’s dying behind that smiling face. But I love them, my God, do I love them. They are the only family I’ve ever had but I can’t tell them. I can’t drag them down with me. I love them so for my sake and theirs, im letting them go.

I stand in the line of fire without a fear. I don’t shake. I don’t tremble. I don’t blink.

Stand tall, without fear, without hate. Maybe next time I’ll do …

One less soul makes the earth a little bit lighter, right?

Spencer felt his eyes burn, the tears rolled down his cheeks.

No.

No.

[versatilewindow]

A Night in ‘Las Vegas’ (its actually Daphne’s mansion)

Find it on Ao3!

Summary:Party at Daphne's, Velma experiences requited gay panic. Written for @scrubyjay<3

A/N: if u asked me a week ago what id be writing, scooby doo lesbian fanfic definitely wouldn't have been anywhere near my mind. im kinda surprised i even had this much to say about them.

In the past few years, the Mystery Gang had made a habit of meeting up before a new semester of college started to relax and hang out before their studies took over their lives. Daphne was hosting at her childhood home (as she called it, though most would consider the estate a real true mansion) as usual, (Her parents were off on their yearly honeymoon or what Daphne would call their regularly scheduled time for absolute debauchery among other acts that are certainly in a legal grey area.) and she had full reign of the staff and tonight's event. This semester’s theme was “A Night in Las Vegas”, meaning the gang would be dressed in their best cocktail outfits, and that there were actual slot machines and gambling tables, complete with dealers using rigged card decks to make sure no one would threaten the casino’s nightly earnings, not that they were actually gambling it’s all for realism.

This was the week before most the gang’s final semester, most as in Shaggy decided that he’d rather learn some cooking skills on the job rather than some pompous 75 year old teacher at the nearest cooking school, not realizing he would instead have to deal with an egotistical 40 year old going through what was surely the world’s worst case of mid-life crisis. The rest of the gang was spread around the country, Fred was at the local state college on a football scholarship, studying business and was the VP of the school’s biggest fraternity. Daphne was studying investigative journalism at Colombia, if asked she went to school in New York, and she was in fact related to the Blakes financially backing the new Blake scholarship for students studying journalism. Velma was at Stanford double majoring in Criminal Psychology and Forensic Science, and was set to continue her studies in a Phd program at Harvard. 

Out of all the gang, Velma was the most excited for the night, she rarely got to see the others because of the physical distance between them. She walked up the marble steps outside the front doors of the Blake estate, duffel bag in tow, (they always ended up absolutely sloshed at the end of these dinners, opting to stay in one of the many guest rooms with plush king sized beds rather than waiting for a taxi) and pressed the buzzer which linked to a pager on the butler’s uniform. It was only a few moments before Jenkins opened the heavy oak doors.

“Ah, Miss Dinkley, glad to see you’ve made it here safely, would you like someone to take your bag to your room?”

“No, thank you Jenkins, Daphne wanted to get ready together and I have some things I’ll need in the bag. Is she in her room?”

“Yes, allow me to escort you there.” With that Jenkins turned into the Foyer, walking under the first of many grand chandeliers, and up the grand blush pink marble stairs towards Daphne’s suite. Before she knew it they were in front of the door to the bedroom.

Jenkins knocked on the pale door, “Miss Blake, Miss Dinkley has arrived.”

“Oh Yes! Send her in please! The door’s unlocked!” A light rustling was heard behind the door as Jenkins opened the door for Velma, revealing Daphne moving towards her vanity in a silk lavender robe that ended mid thigh. “Velma! I’m so happy you could come early!” The taller woman changed her course towards the shorter one, who seemed almost frozen in the doorway. “Come on in! Thank you Jenkins, let me know when the boys have arrived.” Jenkins responded with a light bow before swiftly turning away, no doubt to continue the prep for tonight's event. 

Velma walked in the room, closing the door behind her, and setting her bag down on the loveseat in front of the room’s TV. “I’m glad I could make it too, I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to trade shifts with someone at the bookstore, but Sarah S., remember her from high school? She was trying to avoid a family event that was going on earlier today, her aunts are always setting her up on dates and she didn’t want to deal with that again. So it all worked out!” 

Daphne smiled at Velma, “Oh Sarah’s wonderful, I almost forgot she worked at the bookstore too during the breaks. There’s a robe for you in the bathroom to change into before we do our manicures.” Velma turned into the attached bathroom, quickly changing into the orange silk robe she usually used while at Daphne’s, the light geometric patterns reminding her of all the sleepovers the two shared in high school. Stepping out of the bathroom, Velma saw that Daphne had already set up the station to paint their nails. “So what’s tonight’s color scheme for you? I’m going with glittery hot pink.” Daphne had started with the base coat already.

“I brought an orange leather skirt, and I was thinking of a black top, but the options I brought don’t really fit with the cocktail dress code for tonight.” Velma sat down across from her friend in a dark luxurious chair, fiddling with the collection of polishes in front of her. 

Daphne grabbed a mid-tone orange from the selection, “Don’t worry about your top, you know I have a lot to choose from.” The smile on her face was audible, and she continued, “If it’s the leather skirt I’m thinking of, it would pair great with this sheer, flowy turtleneck I have.” Daphne’s delicate hands grabbed Velma’s, and with skillful light touches started applying the polish. The two took turns with the materials, falling into a comfortable silence finishing the task quickly.

“It’s make-up and hair next, right? I have some things in my bag.” Deeming her nails dry enough, Velma stood and made her way over to the aforementioned bag, pulling out a travel toiletries bag that had her small selection of make-up. It’s not that she was against make-up in any way, it was really more for special events than the day to day, also her college-student budget meant some luxuries were limited, and make-up was on that list. Adjusting her glasses, Velma turned to where Daphne was standing next to the vanity chair, she had a slight pout on her face, the one she used to get what she wanted from anyone.

“Can I please do your make-up? You know I love to do it and you love the outcome every time.” The pout stayed on her face.

“I suppose I could let you do my makeup Daph, seeing as you’re asking so kindly.” Daphne let out a light giggle at the fake sass in Velma's statement. (They both knew that Velma would never say no to Daphne, with or without the pout, not that Velma would ever admit it.) Velma sat down, leaning against the back of the chair, removing her glasses and setting them down on the vanity to allow Daphne full vision of her canvas.

Feathery touches moved across Velma’s face, applying the primer on to soft moisturized skin. “Are you wearing contacts tonight?”

“I brought them, but I’m not sure I’ll remember to take them off before sleeping tonight.”

Daphne continued with the base make-up. “Don’t wear them, you look cute with your glasses.”

A light blush covered the tips of Velma’s cheeks and nose, it certainly wasn’t her first time hearing that phrase, but something about hearing it from Daph’s rosy lips made it different. 

Working swiftly, Daphne made her way to the eyes, she grabbed Velma’s eyeliner, leaning in close to work on the wing. The controlled, concentrated breaths tickled the lightly covered freckles on Velma’s face, the flush from before continuing on strong through the powder pink blush Daphne already placed on the high point’s of her cheek bones. Daphne leaned away from her to examine the work done, hands lingering behind on Velma’s face, a satisfied smile appearing when she decided the two sides were even. “We’ll do lips after we change, you good on your own for hair?” Velma nodded while putting her frames back on to inspect the work Daphne had done on her face. It was simple, what she liked best, but it was better than anything Velma could do on her own. Daphne had perfected her technique in blending and choosing colors, if she didn’t know the other for years, Velma would’ve expected Daphne to enroll in a fashion and design school. 

The two made quick work of the rest of their prep work, gossiping about the town’s latest scandals. (The Adam’s were being investigated for tax fraud, and the Miller’s were going through a particularly nasty divorce.) Velma straightened out her hair, smoothing it from the usual halo of frizz, stealing glances at Daphne while she did her own make-up and hair. Their gazes met each other once, staring deep into the other’s dark eyes for a beat before looking away as though nothing happened. 

The evening drew to a close, night just beginning to settle in, the others would be here soon. Their attention was now drawn to the expansive walk-in closet in the room. Daphne pulled out the sheer turtleneck mentioned before for Velma, it had shiny glittery threads spread throughout, perfect for tonight’s event, and a hot pink sequined mini dress. They both changed in front of each other, as they had many times before, but something in the air was different, there was an unspoken tension between the two of them growing from the lingering touches and frequent glances from earlier. Velma looked up from her skirt’s zipper to see Daphne’s bare back in front of her, dress unzipped. She said a light ‘I got it’ before pulling the hidden zipper up the pale back, the dress tightly hugging the curve of the toned body before her. 

The tension dissipated as they walked over to the rack of shoes covering a wall of the closet, Daphne thinking out loud, wondering if she should go with boots or a strappy pump. She grabbed a chunky platform heel for Velma, one she often borrowed, before deciding on black suede thigh high boots. Daphne’s pink phone pinged, a text from the boys, they were five minutes away. As she pulled the boots over her long legs, Daphne saw Velma staring at her thighs, pinked nose, where skin met suede, and blushed herself, not mentioning that she’d caught the other. 

Shrugging this off, Daphne stood and walked out of the closet, to the door of her room, waiting for Velma. As the shorter walked to the doorway, fingertips touched the small of her back guiding her through. The two walked to the main room on the ground floor where it had been transformed to feel like a real casino, the lights were dimmed, 5 slot machines took up a wall, a dealer’s table next to the grand fireplace, tall, small tables with tea lights and stools took up the center floor, and two servants stood at the edge, one with a tray of hors d'oeuvres and the other a tray of champagne. Meeting the ladies at the bottom were their friends, and Jenkin’s informing them that dinner would be served within the hour. The boys cleaned up well, Shaggy’s usual mop of hair gelled back, with burgundy suspenders against a white button up holding up light green slacks. Fred opted for a more classic black and white suit, with a sapphire blue tie to add his own flair. Even Scooby looked prepped for a red carpet, his nails cut, a light almond scent from soap rather than his usual distinct dog smell. 

The forty or so minutes before dinner was served went smoothly, Shaggy, Scooby, and Daphne spent their time catching up at the slot machine; Fred and Velma playing black jack while laughing about funny stories from the past semester. The waiters did their jobs, handing out each person’s favorite snack before the meal, or snacks in Shaggy and Scoob’s case, leaving no glass unfilled, although they insisted they all have at least a glass of plain water for every couple of refills. 

Once it was time for the meal, the servants put their trays down to push the tables together, so the group could enjoy the dishes together. Daphne pulled her stool next to Velma’s brushing her hand against the smooth skin of the other’s thigh, and noticed how the seated girl’s relaxed, slightly tipsy posture tensed at the quick touch. The dinner continued with similar interactions, a tap of one’s foot against the other, a brush of knees under the table, dabbing away sauce at the edge of the other’s lips. If the boys had noticed these seemingly innocent interactions, they either didn’t care about the clear subtext, or were too drunk to even notice the tension growing with each lingering touch.

After they had finished eating, the ladies continued with their behavior at the table even though the others moved to the dealer’s table for poker. With a well placed hand on the other girl’s thigh, Velma took things a step further and gave a light squeeze, causing Daphne to get out her stool, pulling the other by the wrist to the nearest bathroom, offhandedly mentioning their destination to the hired boy bringing out chicken nuggets for Shaggy. 

In the bathroom, Velma locked the door behind them as the taller girl pulled her onto the granite countertop in a rushed passionate kiss. Contrary to popular belief, Velma was no stranger to Saturday night party bathroom hook-ups, but she was in her childhood best friend’s home having a bathroom hook-up, with her childhood best friend no less. The flutter in her stomach that was growing during dinner, turned into heat and a blazing fire at her core as Daphne’s supple pink lips trailed down the side of the other neck, lightly biting where the top of the turtleneck ended. A quick hand undid the button at the top of the sheer shirt, allowing Daphne more places to nip and kiss. Velma’s hands pulled the other closer as a soft moan left her lips, making Daphne continue the attack at her neck with more vigor. With a light squeeze on her butt, the orange haired girl looked up from the other’s neck with half lidded eyes before asking, “do you,” a kiss on the cheek, “want to take this” a kiss on the other, “to my room?” a kiss on the nose, “I have some things there that could make this even better” a kiss on the lips. At this, Velma hopped off the counter, straightening out her disheveled clothes as best she could before unlocking the door and rushing towards the stairs, Daphne close behind with a large grin on her face. The only thing that pulled them away from their mission of making it to the room was a quick stop telling the boys they were turning in for the night.

The next morning, Daphne figured it was a good thing her parents insisted the boy’s sleep on the other side of the house.

Bonus: after the ladies mentioned they were off to bed

Shaggy turned to Fred, he was drunk, but sober enough to notice the smeared lipstick on Daphne, or the trail of lip marks down Velma’s neck. "You're gonna have to pay up man, did you see them?"

Fred slumped down onto the table and mumbled, "Why couldn't they stick it out a few more months till after graduation, I'll have your money on Monday."

A/N: uhhhh, velma got RAILED, lets leave that as the description for the smut. I would also like to get dommed by Daphne Blake. Lmk if u liked it!

[honeyjaws]

im gonna scream u know. questionarie!!! lua and arthur!!! i efbsnmdakjsdn

@koalateamusings​ @lauriejuspeczyk​ r just out to get me

1. How did they first meet?

in St Denis at a bar lmao. he finds Bill and Lua and Vi after they saved Bill’s ass on a job that went awwwwwry. Bill’s fucken sloshed and like ‘they gotta come with us they would be useful aorthur’ and Arthur would be like ‘.... I GUESS’ and Lua n Vi are like cheers i’ll drink to that.

2. What did they think of each other at first? What was their first impression of the other?

Lua thought he was fucking handsome but quiet as alll hell a little awkward lol. also guarded; she’d wanna ask about the things he’s writing and drawing in his journal but wouldn’t ask because she feels it’d cross some boundary with him. Arthurrrrrrrr would draw her (like he does everyone its no big shut up!!!) and write something about how she’s new but he’d like to know her, he’s liked how he is around her and hopes that lasts. also she’s pretty sure sure.

3. Were they immediately interested / attracted, or did that come later?

UM like! yes and no! attraction was TOTAAALLLLY there but they both have,,, issues (because u fucking know Arthur is there like ‘well im fucking ugly’ and everyone else in the world is like ??? ??? but anyway) and so nothing actuallllly substantial happened until Arthur almost died in Guarma because of course it takes a big dramatic event for them to accept their,,,, feelings. crazy kids!!!

4. Why did they fall for each other?

just because~~~~

ok but like Arthur is the nicest and most genuine person Lua’s ever met and when she finally does ask about his journal she asks if he draws places he’d like to go one day because lord knooows she would love to be anywhere but the camp and he tells her he only draws what he knows and she says maybe it’s worth leaving to see more and when he tells her that if she left he’d go too she believes him and thinks maybe they could get away from all this and find something that fits and works for them in the world that’s changing and shifting away from the type of life they lead far faster than they can keep up with. maybe when arthur takes a moment to brush a feather or a flower or dried fucking grass out of lua’s hair and uses it as an opportunity to tuck her hair behind her ear and be close to her for a moment he doesn’t think he should have, a moment he’s feels he’s stealing from her, he knows that when she tells him he’s a good man she’s sincere and he wants so badly to believe it when it comes from her lips so in that moment he does.

did this answer the q? no! it’s just because!!!

5. Who flirted more before they started their relationship and how?

Lua lol. But that’s also kind of just how she is as a person. but with Arthur she’d actually mean it lol. He would make his self-deprecating comments about how he’s super ugly or a bad baaaad man she’d say he’s far from it.

6. Who made the first move/confessed first?

um it was a mutual thing u know. Arthur’s like basicalllllly dead and sun roasted on a horse returning from Guarma w a fresh case of TB and i have to pause a moment brb

ok right so with Lua seeing Arthur not dead like she thought is fucking overwhelmed by what she’s feeling and rushes to hug his crispy ass and when all their excitement and the Big Energy from that has passed Lua says “i love you, just. by the way. I’m glad you’re back” and Arthur responds by holding her face and telling her how when he was out there he kept thinking that one of the first things he needed to do when he got back was tell her that he loved her because he didn’t want to die without telling her. hmmm foreshadowing wrow.

7. When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

one time when they were drunk and they didn’t talk about it after don’t worry about it mind your business, they did so why cant you???

8.  Which one is more easily made jealous?

I honestly cannnnot see Arthur being a jealous type because he’s got that self esteeeeem issue problem and would go for some self-deprecating shit before jealousy like “yeah there’s someone out there better than me, I don’t blame her”. so i guess the answer there is Lua?? but at the end of the day i dont see them caring too much because they’ve gotttta make up for lost time lol.

9. What do they fight about? Who’s the first to apologize?

haha after Arthur Realizes™ how he feels about Lua they go on a heist and she gets hurt but hides it until they’re back at camp and he gets so! mad! when he finds out he snaps at her like ‘what if it were worse what if she didnt make it back?’ and then Realizes™ part 2 that he was just scared of losing her and apologizes but doesn’t go into big big detail because this is stillll before anything actually significant has happened w them and they’re both like “oh my feelings couldn’t possibly be requited and therefore are not real.”

10. Did they have a first date? Where did they go?

not realllllly the closest thing would be pretending to be newlyweds on a heist n_~

11. What do their friends and family think? Do they approve of the relationship?

ALL PARTIES APPROVE LMAO. e v e r y o n e  knew how they felt about each other before they did and would try to get them to admit it especiallllly Vi and Rosa!!! they’d tease Lua like “ADMIT IT U IDIOT” and she’d be like “shut up Kieran is,,, weird and John smells like a horse!!!”

Most importantly tho Hosea thinks it’s good and that they’d be able to make a nice life together. lol.

12. Do they like to cuddle/hold hands? Do they prefer to do it privately rather than in public?

FUCKING YA FUCK. catch Arthur and Lua at the campfire w Arthur’s arm around her or just ~*cozied up*~ because time is fleeting bitch :~)

13. How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time (If they do)? Under what circumstances does it happen?

i just said time is fleeting!!! but also ok like! they’re drunk one night, shortly after Lua and Vi join the gang, and the night ends w just them at the campfire and some romantic (but like when youre just meeting someone and ur drunk and like sure romance lol) shit happens. lua’s like ‘just dance with me it’ll be fun! there’s no one around!’ and arthur, reluctant, is like ‘well alright’ but he’s smiling he’s content and then they have a really sloppy night together that afterwards neither of them acknowledge for a long long while. after theyre like fucken weird around each other for a bit. Lua obviously tells Vi and then Rosa because she caannnnot keep that secret for long but what she can do for a long is deny any feelings she has for Arthur lol. Things stop being weird when she tells herself it was just a one night thing and Arthur isn’t into her like that. Put it in a box amirite n_~

14. Who tops?

oh my god

15. Do they get married? Who proposes & how?

cruel cruel world must i go on

16. Do they have children? How many? What are their names?

cruel cruel world im gone

[s3venpounds]

1-98

thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are

8. movies or tv shows?

im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx

9. favorite smell in the summer?

after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Emotions empty. YEET

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience

18. ideal weather?

raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it

19. sleeping position? 

I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? 

on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life

21. obsession from childhood?

psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning

22. role model?

not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul

23. strange habits?

i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few

24. favorite crystal?

crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?

25. first song you remember hearing?

a barney song. i shit you not.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:

28. five songs to describe you?

fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind

29. best way to bond with you?

be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol

30. places that you find sacred?

sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me

32. top five favorite vines?

ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere

35. average time you fall asleep?

midnight or 10 at the earliest

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack

38. lemonade or tea?

oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class

41. last person you texted?

clarence

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy

44. favorite scent for soap?

i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all

47. favorite type of cheese?

uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.

51. current stresses?

job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often

52. favorite font?

IDK? Helvetica?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry and typing.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?

56. favorite tradition? 

probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

My hero academia. hands down.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS

62. seven characters you relate to?

jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad

64. favorite website from your childhood?

YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol

65. any permanent scars?

tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself. 

67. good luck charms?

the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them

70. left or right handed?

right handed c:

71. least favorite pattern?

pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess

72. worst subject?

math. 100% math. 

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8. i think i have a high pain tolerance

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont remember.. maybe like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

not a big fan of plants....

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

...what? i guess jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY

82. pc or console?

console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim. 

83. writing or drawing?

writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope

84. barbie or polly pocket?

uhhhhhh barbie?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

death. or atleast what happens afterwards

88. your greatest wish?

to be a hero. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z

90. luckiest mistake?

one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it

91. boxes or bags?

boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough 

93. nicknames?

tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.

94. favorite season?

fall and winter. winter being the best

95. favorite app on your phone?

Epic seven

96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only 1. thats my own lmao

98. favorite historical era?

uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........