#and god it's painful
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Nine and Ten talking to literally the most random person:
You are so important! Humans oh how I love you!
Nine and Ten interacting with Rose/Martha/Donna like 95% of the time:
🧡 🥰 😀 🧡 🥰 😀 🧡
Eleven talking to River in the episode they get married:
It's not funny, River. Reality is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that.
I don't want to marry you.
River! River, this is ridiculous. That would mean nothing to anyone. It's insane. Worse, it's stupid. You embarrass me.
#doctor who#anti moffat#moffat salt#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#anti eleventh doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#donna noble#anti river song#justice for river song??#watched it for the first time#and god it's painful#i went into moffat's era expecting that it was going to be a love story#he talks down to her more than he would a dalek ya'll#like it's not even a tragic doomed by the narrative romance#he just seems to straight up belittle her#the fact that this is what is compared to#ninerose#and tenrose#damn i wish river had someone that actually loved her#my ramblings
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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?
#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins#don’t say it (I’m gonna say it)#The Child is The Price#but i mean come on#as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck#i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in#its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity#time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him#and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent#not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions#regardless of whether there is a god#for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name#atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of#and all on his and your behalf#you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too#and what's more dangerous than that?
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#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#zooble#sketches#i still shouldnt be drawing dear god this is painful but how can i resist#digital circus
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I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.
And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.
#i saw the tv glow#I saw the tv glow spoilers#it is SUCH a queer story#the disassociation. the hiding in fiction to feel alive.#the horror of watching time tick by and knowing you’re not who you’re meant to be#the unique paralysis of staying put in hell because it’s safer than what might be over the horizon#the tragedy of trying to help someone who isn’t ready to be helped#god it’s so much. god. rarely do I walk out of a film and just stare soundlessly into space#anyway. please see this movie. although I sort of hope if you’re reading this post it’s cuz you already have#eta: I used he because the main character never quite vocalizes another pronoun#but this is SUCH a trans story. suuuuch a trans story. it is not even a little subtle#it’s so good and so so painful
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physically sick over the fact that. In the game’s canon Viktor is doing whatever he can to get rid of his emotions and humanity. and it’s what him and Jayce clash over most. its the center of their entire conflict
but in arcane it’s torn away from him against his will because of Jayce. Because Jayce didn’t care what Viktor became as long as he got his partner back. Hello. Can anyone hear me
#in another life this is exactly what you would’ve wanted. but this isn’t that life and it isn’t what you want#going to THROW UP#their relationship in arcane vs the game already made me insane but oh my GOD#there are benefits to looking into the lore. like heartbreak and PAIN#dani speaks#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#viktor#jayvik#arcane jayvik#in my heart at least
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I think it's super interesting how Jimmy's fear of Anya and the baby manifests in his mind as the Pony Express mascot.
Unlike every other character, Anya ISN'T in Jimmy's guilt/regret hallucinations near the end. He sees Daisuke walk towards the dark, he sees Swansea chase him through a cemetery, he sees Curly on fire in front of him but ANYA? Anya isn't given that kind of treatment. No, instead, we see a hallucination of the baby, a tiny horse in a womb that has no face attached to it (Anya's face specifically, all he sees is the womb), turning into a deformed monster that hunts him down the moment it's born.
Polle (the baby) is seen as a danger in Jimmy's head in the beginning of the game too, after he walks out of the cockpit. The more he walks, the louder the baby noises get and the more deformed Polle looks when he runs into it!
Jimmy doesn't give a damn about Anya, nor does he regret anything he did to her, but he is scared of that baby and what it means. The living proof of what he did to Anya, manifesting as a monster that hunts him down throughout the game.
#mouthwashing#Polle says: FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS INSTEAD OF BEING DELUSIONAL!!#god please take all of Anya's pain.. double it and give it to Jimmy#this might be gibberish but in my defense it's 2 in the morning and I am very sleep deprived#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing swansea
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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Finally made a tumblr! Enjoy this painting of Elizabethan era Aziraphale I made a while ago :)
Oil on 11x14” canvas
#good omens#aziraphale#goodomens#crowley#oh god I forgot how these tags work#reposting old art to take away the pain of the recent good omens news :’)#oil painting
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'art idea that's above your skill set' and 'writing idea that's above your skill set' are tortures I wish upon absolutely no one man
#nerfed by god forsaken by fate etc pain dude#its not impossible even like it just takes time#which just so happens to be the one resource that constantly shrinks and that you cant create more of
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it’s crazy that rouge straight up said this and people still see her as a mother figure lmaooo
#edit: for the love of god ‘aunt/sister’ is not meaningfully different than mother figure#explain to me how ascribing a woman to a different role in a nuclear family is super subversive actually or shut up. please#rambles#stole a robot for the purpose of creating a perfect thieving tool and ignored every sign of interiority or will he expressed#and ditched him the second it became clear that the situation is more of a pain in the ass than it is a benefit#and said she’d hate to be a mom to said robot#how maternal.#god i fucking love rouge she’s so awesome in this game#such a shame about amy.#battle posting
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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People do not talk enough about how amazing Lae'zels voice acting is. Devora Wilde put her whole ass pussy into some of those lines but nobody pays attention and calls laezel one note and angry. But have you listened? Have you heard her voice shake as she cries "what good - this heart of stone - for it to be shattered?" Have you heard the conviction where she declares that Vlaketh has sinned against her? Have you listened to the fear in her voice, the slight tremble when she is talking of becoming a mindflayer and the way that she has utter awe in her tones when she experiences something that is truly spiritual to her? Like. It's such a subtle and great performance.
#bg3#lae'zel#the other voice actors are also incredible#wylls voice actor creates the charming prince so easily#but still manages the tough moments#karlachs act 3 gortash dead speech and the pain in that???#astarion gets all the praise anyway i dont gotta mention him#and gale and SHADOWHEART#god#such good performances in this game
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inspector constable, I would like to report a murder
the way Crowley keeps tilting his head up during the confession
the way he tilts it up even more just before putting on his glasses
he is crying by then, and he doesn’t want the tears to roll down
#I keep rewatching this#the most painful bit of the show#the most rewatched#oh god#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#good omens#good omens 2#episode 6#my GOD
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Raise your hand if you have also been personally victimized by the barometric pressure changes 🥲
#personal#lord above#please sTOP#I hate the clouds#just rain for the love of god just rAIN#barometric pressure#chronic pain#arthritis#cripple punk
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Refraining from posting about my niche kinks on Tumblr is the same as Ego Death in my eyes.
#The Lord will not stop my Muppet Lust no matter how hard I pray#God loves me#But not enough to save me#bald thoughts#monk life#catholic musings#muppet pain
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