#and feels reflective of an entitlement that is really really off-putting

[lhazaar]

like i'm not just talking out of my ass. one of my many side job hats is helping people apply for canada council for the arts grants. he would be a fantastic candidate if he hadn't, yknow, burned that bridge

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

There's something in the differing emphasis that Brad and Hunter and Charles place on the phrase "good guy" that really affected me on my first watch and hit even harder on my second. I'm going to try and put it into words.

When Brad and Hunter say it, they say "we're good guys", as in, good at everything a guy "should" be good at - good at sports, popular with the ladies, on their way to a good university. But they turn out to be total shitheads. They don't care about being "good", they just care about their reputation, how they're perceived. It's status and power - they're good guys and they feel entitled to do whatever they want.

But when Charles, feeling betrayed by this reveal of their character, says he wanted them to be good guys, the emphasis is completely different. Charles wants to be a "good guy". He doesn't want to be a "bad guy".

The emphasis is on good, because that's really the crux of Charles' greatest fears, isn't it?

When Charles wants to be a good guy, he doesn't mean it the way Brad and Hunter do; that veneer of goodness that comes with popularity. He means that nothing he did was ever good enough for his dad. Doing the good thing and helping that kid his "friends" were beating up literally got him killed. Trying to stop Devlin only got him trapped in the loop, stuck until his friends freed him, only able to watch helplessly as a mother and her innocent children get slashed to death before his eyes.

And it's this helplessness that is the thing that truly sets him off at the end of episode 4.

It always struck me just how much of his breakdown there, for as much as he finally gives a voice to his own hurt at the injustice of his situation, was still about other people. Because he was secure-ish, at one point, when he was Edwin's partner and protector. He thought he did a good job at it anyways, but guess not, because something obviously happened with Edwin and he's not talking to him about it. And he likes to think he did good with solving cases, but Crystal is still hurting and haunted by a demon and nearly threw herself off a cliff earlier that day because she wants her parents so badly, and he's no closer to helping her solve that. And all of it, every single part of it, is a reflection of his own unresolved trauma; that he never "made it better" and he can't, so now he tries to be good enough for other people, but that isn't working anymore either, and now someone is threatening to take Edwin away, and even this final shocking act of anger and violence is still in service of protecting; of saving someone from the suffering he was never able to escape except by fucking dying.

His anger, really, stems from the injustice of it all, and the abuse of power by guys who can get away with it because they're guys, when they should've, could've, been good to others instead. It's a large part of why he projected so strongly onto Brad and Hunter - they did everything right, they were good guys who got screwed over, because even if everyone seems to love you, there's always that one person you can never please, right? Who will hurt you, no matter how good you are. When it's revealed that Brad and Hunter are far more like his bullies, like Devlin, like his dad, than he'd thought - controlling, intolerant, cruel to those who "step out of line" - Charles feels betrayed and horrified because he related to them... so what does that say about him?

But here's one major difference that Charles does not seem to recognize well. Charles has never had the power in these situations. He was the victim, and his being the victim is through no fault of his own, but the fault of those who decided to be cruel. It is certainly not contingent on how good he is. Being good in the eyes of people who want to hurt you will not stop them from hurting you.

When he lashes out at the Night Nurse, it's out of helplessness and rage. Once again, he's pitted against someone who holds more power than he does and is threatening harm, and he's just been bitterly, brutally reminded that a smile and a helping hand and a firm word never, ever worked to make it stop. There's only one other way he can think of to shift the balance of power, and he's finally livid enough to actually do it. This violence is a desperate attempt to finally overcome yet another force much greater than him, a transdimensional entity that has unjustly arrived to take his best friend to Hell. And Charles wins, he did it, he stopped her, at least for the moment. But at what cost, when he looks at his friends and can't tell whether they look more scared for him or of him? And can he blame them, when he's clearly scared of his own anger and how overwhelming it is now that it's been let out?

Because he tries so hard to be good and it's never good enough to stop the suffering. Because that anger rose to the surface so easily and maybe that means he's not good at all.

But of course, Charles once again misses something important here - there is a distinction in why that anger exists. His dad, Devlin, and Brad and Hunter get angry because their power over others makes them feel they have a right to punish when things don't go their way. Charles gets angry because he feels more helpless than he'd care to admit, and seeing cruelty inflicted onto others by those with power makes him want to cut them down to size.

And herein lies the second major difference. Charles... is a kind person, at heart. He's genuine. He really does likes helping out, he likes making people happy, he doesn't turn people away who need help, he's friendly and protective. The scene where Edwin pulls him out of his fear that he's somehow bad even though he really doesn't want to be, is outright one of my favourite scenes for what it brings to both of their characters. Edwin knows exactly what to say. While it's always good to check your behaviour, to apologize and take accountability - because no one can be good all the time, and even the most well-intentioned of us will mess up sometimes - Edwin is right.

"Bad guys do not worry about being bad guys."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Machinist 3

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible bullying, misogyny, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your new boss sets his sights on you. (short!reader)

Characters: August Walker

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

You sit out on your front porch watching the lazy sun. It’s one of the rare days off where you’re not bogged down in chores. Just you and swing and a cup of coffee. After the week you had, you need the moment to just not think. 

You close your eyes and lean your head back. It’s the simple things. All you ever wanted was a place to call your own. You got a job that pays for all that. A job you’re good at but one you enjoy less by the day. 

A honk startles you from your serenity. You open one eye and slowly put your chin straight. The shiny black jaguar is out of place on the sleepy street. A few of the kids playing ball in the neighbours driveway stop to point and stare. Your curiosity hardly awakens as you guess at its driver before he appears. 

August steps out, almost comically big for the sleek sportscar. You sip your coffee and sway on the chains. He tilts his head in challenge as he comes around the hood. 

“Didn’t forget about little old me, did you?” He asks. 

“Just having a coffee,” you answer bluntly. You didn’t forget but hoped he did. 

“You’ll need the energy, I’m sure,” he comes down the walk, almost strutting.  

He doesn’t have his usual cap and flannel. His hair is combed neatly and he wears a navy tee so tight, you can see his muscles. You’re not sure they make any clothing that would fit him appropriately. You continue to drink and stare past him. 

“I’m sure google would be more helpful. That car has bluetooth, doesn’t it?” 

“Not as entertaining he insists, “you’re hardly dressed for a day out.” 

You hum and look down at yourself. You wear a pair of grey-green jogging pants and a loose tee; your usually affair for the week. Alone. You sigh and drain the last of the dark roast. 

“Go get changed,” he orders. 

You look at him but don’t move. His entitlement tweaks your eye brow. You take a breath and let it go slowly. 

“Now don’t go getting uppity,” he warns with a wag of his finger, “we might not be at work, but I’m still the boss,” he climbs the porch steps one at a time and stops, leaning on the post beside him, “aren’t I, princess?” 

You stand with the cup in hand, “sir. I’ll go throw on some jeans.” 

“Skirt,” he corrects you. 

“Don’t have any.” 

“Dress, then. I wanna see your legs.” 

You nearly crumple up in disgust. You repress a snarl and swallow, “none of those either.” 

“If it wasn’t indecent, I’d say naked,” he retorts, “since you only dress like some teen boy. Shorts, then, I’m sure you can find something.” 

You blink dully, “I’ll have to look around. Might take a while.” 

“If I have to come in there,” he warns. 

“Five minutes,” you relent and spin on your heel. 

Despite your promise, you are anything but expedient. You rinse out the mug and leave it in the rack. You make your way upstairs and open your dresser, not paying much mind to any of it. You really don’t have what he’s looking for. You aren’t what he’s looking for. You’re sure he could hit the bar downtown and find a pretty bimbo. 

You pull on a plain burgundy tee and the black jean shorts with a run in one leg. You check your reflection but don’t put much into fixing it. You look fine. Teeth brushed, moisturized, what else can you do? 

As you come downstairs, you’re annoyed to find him in your entryway. He has no shame. He shuffles through the mail on the corner table. You reach for your blue sneakers. He coughs and turns to watch you. 

“Definitely not the heel type, are ya?” He remarks. 

You shrug and tie the laces. You stand straight and grab your denim jacket and keys. He reaches to stop you, grabbing the other sleeve. 

“Whatcha covering up for?” 

You nearly roll your eyes. You won’t give him the fodder. You let go and tuck the keys into the small pocket of the short. You grab your wallet and put it on the other side of your hips. 

“We’ll fix this,” he flicks his finger up and down. “I know you think you can run with the big boys but you’re a woman underneath it all. No point tryna hide.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“I didn’t ask,” he growls, “that’s a problem too. You talk when I want you to.” 

You should tell him to fuck himself. You should spit in his face. By the smug smirk dimpling in his cheek, that’s exactly what he wants. No. You’ll let him get bored. You wipe your expression and blink. 

“Well?” He huffs. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good girl,” he reaches to pat your head like a dog. You try not to wince away, repulsion roiling from his touch. You lift your chin instinctively and he narrows his eyes, stepping closer as he does. He snickers as sets his jaw square, “don’t worry, I know how to break a stubborn bitch like you. Make her into a loyal little hound slobbering for my attention.” 

You look back at him blankly. He waits. You let him. No reaction. Frustration tics in his cheek and his lips straighten. 

“First thing,” he grabs your arm as he turns for the door, “we find something to dislodged the rod from your ass.” 

He drags you outside and keeps hold of you as you turn to lock the door with your other hand. He tugs you so your wrist twists as you struggle to slide the keys free. They jangle with you as he hauls you forward, your feet clattering down the steps. 

“Keep up, princess, your carriage awaits.” 

[soapyghostie]

Hey! Absolutely random request, but imagine reader being a tired person that out of wounds and stress they just fall asleep when they're being carried, about to go on a hook. How would the dbd killers(any, really) react?

Like, imagine. Being carried, without anything under legs can already make someone sleepy if they don't have adrenaline pumped through their veins. Plus, i know that having wounds(aka blood loss) can make people very tired.

Since this request it a little vague, I decided to get a little creative with it and wrote some angst because I’m a sucker for angst with dad slashers (except Frank is your big brother in this request). 😭 Hope you enjoy!

The Ghost Face/Danny Johnson

Danny would be confused at first, bloodlust still kicking through his veins even after killing all our teammates as he carries you, his injured daughter, to the hook (Sorry (Y/N), he’s just doing his job. No hard feelings). He’ll pause for a moment, trying to process the fact that you feel asleep on his shoulder.

As he realizes that you fell asleep due to exhaustion and stress from your wounds, Danny’s demeanor would soften and his parental instincts within him kicks in. He’ll gently adjust you in his arms from being thrown over his shoulder to being carried bridal style, ensuring that you’re comfortable even as he still proceeds to hook you. 

Seeing you in such a vulnerable state would stir up a lot of internal conflict in Danny. He’s torn between his role as a merciless killer and his love for you as his daughter as he hesitates to sacrifice you to the Entity. Danny’s had a lot of bad performances in trials lately and he really needs the 4K. However, to get the 4K he needs to sacrifice you. Of course it has to be you: the Entity is so cruel. 

As to not get punished by the Entity, sadly, Danny will throw you onto the hook. Danny would feel a pang of remorse and sadness. He knows that he’s the cause of your pain and exhaustion, and seeing you in such a vulnerable state serves as a painful reminder of the life he’s subjected you to. He silently reflects on his actions and their consequences. He’ll gaze at your sleeping form dangling from the hook, grappling with the complexities of his emotions and the choices he made. 

Despite his conflicted emotions, Danny remains committed to his role in the Entity’s twisted game. However, Danny’s determination to protect you remains unwavering. He’ll play the Entity’s game and continue this dark path as a killer if it means to ensure your safety as he doesn’t want you to be harmed as a result of his shortcomings… 

The Legion/Frank Morrison

Frank would be initially shocked and panicked to see you, his younger sister, in such a vulnerable state. Despite his tough ‘bad boy’ exterior, he deeply cares about you and seeing you hurt triggers his protective instincts. 

The sight of you falling asleep from exhaustion and stress while carrying you to the hook fills Frank with anger and frustration. He’ll curse under his breath, feeling powerless to protect you and frustrated with the situation at hand. First off, your god damn heavy after going unconscious and, secondly, he has no choice but to hook you due to the amount of failed trials he’s had lately to try and please the Entity. 

Despite his anger, Frank, also like Danny, would feel a sense of inner conflict. On one hand, he wants to lash out at the Entity for throwing her into a trial with him, but on the other hand, he knows he has to get the 4K by hooking you so you end up safe and sound at the survivor camp instead of the agony the Entity threatened to put you through if he didn’t start stepping it up in trials. You’re the reason he has the strength to keep going in this awful, twisted game of cat and mouse. 

Frank would grapple with the feeling of guilt and responsibility for your condition. As your older brother, he feels entitled to preventing you from getting hurt in the first place and blames himself for everything that has happened to you. Despite his conflicting emotions, he would carefully and gently place you on the hook, making sure you're as comfortable as possible given the circumstances. As he watches you sleep on the hook, Frank would have a quiet moment of reflection. He reminisces about y’all’s childhood together and vows silently to himself to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. 

Seeing you vulnerable would only fuel Frank’s determination to perform better in trials. He would be even more relentless in his pursuit of survivors, driven by the desire to protect you from the Entity’s hungry claws. 

The Shape/Michael Myers

Michael would pause, a flicker of confusion crossing his expressionless face. The sight of you, his daughter, falling asleep despite the dire circumstances briefly disrupts his usual relentless pursuit to satisfy his murderous desires. 

Deep within his obscured psyche, a conflict brews. While Michael is driven by an insatiable urge to kill, his parental instincts stir, conflicting with his murderous impulses. This momentary hesitation leads to a brief internal struggle, the likes of which observers of Michael would never perceive. 

Despite the task at hand and the chaos of the trial, Michael momentarily freezes, holding your unconscious body with an eerie stillness. His iconic breathing momentarily ceases, as if he too, like Danny and Frank, were contemplating the peculiar situation. 

In a rare display of tenderness, Michael gingerly adjusts your position, ensuring that you're comfortable even as he prepares to hook you. His movements would be precise, almost caring, as if he’s trying to shield you from further harm, even in your unconscious state. As he gazes upon your sleeping form, fragments of memories flicker through Michael’s mind. Images of you as a child, innocent and untouched by the darkness that now envelopes you both, momentarily soften his gaze, perhaps even cause a subtle twitch at the corners of his mouth – a long-forgotten smile. You are his world. 

Ultimately, the weight of his desire to kill and the futility of his attempts to connect with you wash over Michael. With a heavy heart hidden beneath his iconic mask, he proceeds with the task at hand – sacrificing you to the Entity. With a solemn determination, Michael carries you to the hook, his obsession with killing eclipsing any semblance of any paternal sentiment.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

I've been thinking a lot about expectations this week.

A number of years ago, when I was visiting my brother, he criticized me for not doing something that he expected me to do. It was a frustrating talk because he wasn't at all willing to hear my perspective. But what bothered me the most about it was when I said "you can just ask" and he said "I shouldn't have to".

I was doing everything culturally expected of a good guest, I didn't even know what his extra expectations were, and yet he felt entitled to be mad at me for not automatically knowing them, and not living up to them.

It can be so easy for us to let our expectations get ahead of us, to make assumptions based on our own perspectives, and to then feel let down.

And I feel like I'm seeing a lot of this kind of thing in people's experience with media these days. There seems to be a clash happening between expectations and reality. And people feeling genuinely upset when the reality is not what they wanted.

I'm seeing a lot of complaints and "critiques" that seem to fall in to the category of "this is not how I personally want this to go" or "this doesn't resonate with my personal experience".

To be clear, I'm not saying this in a pointing fingers kind of way, because I have 100% done it myself.

When the trailer for Cutie Pie first came out, I got so excited imagining Kuea as some bad boy living a double life. He was going to be so hard to tame, he was going to put Lian through the wringer, and it was going to be amazing.

What I got was something very different from what I expected, and I struggled with the show.

But it was a really valuable learning moment for me. Because everything in the trailer was in the series. It was my interpretation of it, of those few minutes out of hours of material, my assumptions about the moments not yet shown, that caused me frustration.

That was a turning point in my "let's see where the journey takes us" philosophy. And I have to say, engaging in QL has been a hell of a lot more fun since I learned to let go of what I thought should happen.

I still have critiques of shows, of course I do. Nothing is above criticism. But I don't get so personally affronted now when something doesn't do what I expect. I'm more willing to see where the destination takes us before I decide the journey isn't working.

Of course I am still human, and I still get caught off guard sometimes by expectations I didn't realize I had let slip in.

But I have found my experience immeasurably improved by considering a few things when I'm watching a series:

Am I leading with curiosity, or judgment?

What is happening here culturally? What assumptions am I making based on my own background and country of origin? What happens if I step back and look at the bigger picture of how this culture engages with media? Do I even know, or do I have more to learn?

Is this actually bad... or is it just not for me? Is this just not resonating with me? Is it making me uncomfortable? What can this discomfort tell me about myself? Is it a bad show, or just a show I need to walk away from?

Am I more focused on the story I want told, and not paying enough attention to the story that the creators of the series want to tell? What assumptions am I making about their intent?

Am I only focused on what the value is for me as an individual, and not considering how this may be making other people feel seen or be meeting their needs? Can I acknowledge that there can be inherent value in things that do not give value to me personally?

There is value in critique, but there is also importance in self-reflection and understanding why we are feeling the way that we are, and when our own setting of expectations may be playing a role.

It's funny that in some ways this seems to be a reflection of what a golden age of QL we are living in - there are so many options, and time is so scarce, that I can see why people are frustrated when they feel like a show is not living up to what they wanted.

But as someone who has lived multiple decades without this kind of media, and only relatively recently having been able to experience it...there is a lot more to be gained by reveling in what you are loving than over what you are hating.

[rosellacwrites]

Sweatpants Season

summary: Steven‘s been thirst trapping you. It wasn’t intentional.

pairings: Steven Grant x GN!Reader, implied Marc Spector x GN!Reader, implied Jake Lockley x GN!Reader

rating: T, maybe. Not smut itself but, like, gateway sexiness? I’d read it at work but I’m my own boss, so. Maybe don’t do that.

warnings: domestic fluff, established relationship, discussion of sexual attractiveness.

word count: just under 1K

author’s note: Written for the Moon Knight Spring Bingo @moonknight-events — this is entry #3 for the Sweater Weather square! (Thanks to the mods @juneknight and @spacecowboyhotch for kindly allowing me to stretch this prompt to sweatpants.)

dividers by @firefly-graphics

“A little healthy objectification is good for a relationship,” Steven pronounces, waving toward you from his side of the sofa. Wine makes him philosophical, and you’re both a few glasses into the evening by now. “Your partner ought to know how attractive you find them.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re only saying that because I caught you perving on me when I took my sweater off and my undershirt got stuck with it.”

“I don’t deny it,” he says with the cheekiest grin. “But you’re even worse, love. I saw the look you gave me the other night when I put my reading glasses on, and there was nothing family-friendly about it.”

“Can’t help it,” you mutter. “It’s unfair how hot you are in those.”

“I think you might be a bit biased there.” He laughs. “I don’t exactly wear them just to turn you on.”

“Sometimes, I think you do.” You stretch your legs out, swinging them over his lap and getting comfortable. “You’re a menace, ever since I told you I liked them. And these pants, my God — you really are just trying to drive me insane, aren’t you?”

“Sorry?” Steven’s brow furrows and he tilts his head at you.

“Really?” You gesture at his legs where they rest under yours, smirking. “You really have no idea what I’m talking about?”

He shakes his head, bewildered. “I really don’t.”

“Steven, you’re walking around here in the functional equivalent of lingerie. Grey sweatpants are hot.”

“Are you having me on?” His face has gone from confused to suspicious; in fairness, if you had been, it wouldn’t have been the first time. Steven is gullible in that way peculiar to the brilliant; anything can seem perfectly plausible, when your mind is already filled with an abundance of equally unlikely facts.

“I am not. This is a legitimate thing!” You’re trying not to laugh. You really are — you don’t want to make the poor man feel bad about himself, but it’s impossible not to let a few giggles slip out. “I bet you Marc or Jake knows about it.”

Steven frowns. “Shut it, you lot,” he says to the reflection in the TV, his face a dull red. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Absolutely no one thinks sweatpants are sexy.”

“Grey sweatpants,” you add helpfully. “The other ones aren’t nearly as good.”

Steven looks at you: your dancing eyes and your lips pressed together to contain your laughter and your shaking shoulders. “All three of you are taking the piss,” he grumbles. “What’ve I done to deserve this? Nothing, is what.”

You fish your phone out of your pocket and hand it to Steven, leaning close. “Google it. Grey sweatpants meme. I swear we’re not making this up.”

“Grey… sweatpants… meme,” he mutters under his breath as he pokes at the screen, and you crane your neck to see what he’s finding.

You watch a parade of emotions cross his face while he scrolls. “Ooh, click on that one!” you chirp, pointing at the link entitled Grey Sweat Pant Memes for Ladies who Buy Their Man Loungewear Every Fall.

He does, and his eyebrows are doing extremely athletic things as he’s confronted with the indisputable truth; you aren’t, in fact, making this up. He’s talking to himself, but you can’t hear most of it, and not for the first time you wish you could hear Marc and Jake’s side of the conversation too. “What is this world,” he laments clearly, once, and you’re gone.

“Oh God — I’m so sorry — it’s just — “ you wheeze, leaning against him. “How did you not know — the year of Our Lord 2023 and I know you can use the Internet — “

“All this time, I’ve been making you all hot and bothered and I didn’t know a thing about it.” He chuckles and shakes his head ruefully; the man is clearly having a minor existential crisis. “I really didn’t, yeah? I just thought… I need a pair, they’re on sale… I nearly got the blue pair, they were the same price — it’s just what I had my hand on…” His voice trails off but you can feel him twitch occasionally, aftershocks of his own laughter. “They were really soft!” he adds, and his tone is so piteous that the laughter explodes out of you again.

“Steven. My love.” You wipe your streaming eyes and grin at him. “You don’t have to justify the sweatpants.”

He wraps an arm around you and squeezes, resting his hot cheek against your head. “Every time I wear them now you’re going to look at me like that, and I’m going to know what you’re thinking, and…”

“Exactly the same things I was looking and thinking before,” you finish, still giggling. “The only difference is, now you know about it.”

Steven shakes his head. “A few things are beginning to make more sense now,” he admits, still flustered, and he starts to chuckle again. “I’ve caught you looking, a few times, but I had no idea what you were up to… suppose I should be grateful you find me so irresistible.”

“I really do,” you sigh, and lean in to kiss him. “Enough that I’m willing to overlook your abysmal knowledge of pop culture.”

“I don’t tease you when you get your pharaohs mixed up, do I?” he protests, wounded. “We’ve all got our things.”

“More of them in heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” you quote. “And if they’d had sweatpants back then, Shakespeare would have made dick jokes about them. I guarantee you.”

“You’re probably right,” he sighs. “Well, I won’t be quite so quick to doubt you, next time. You could tell me you like it when I forget to shave for a few days and I’ll just say ‘of course, darling.’”

You don’t say anything. The look on your face does it for you.

“Oh, come on. Really?”

Dedicated to my husband, with whom I had a very similar conversation recently. Poor man.

In case you’re wondering, this is the meme that made him say “what is this world?!”

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Helluva Boss's Failed Attempt Of "It's You"

If Helluva Boss last episode was the Anti-Telescope, this is their failed attempt at "It's You" from Bojack Horseman. The message is that the main character should stop making excuses for his behavior and realize how much he hurts people when even their bigger supporter turns on them. However, it doesn't work because of the fact someone who also needs to learn that lesson but is being given the biggest amount of excuses and never apologizes himself for what he's done.

Overall, it feels the message is hypocritical if one person has to learn this lesson and it's to the same guy who is probably a bigger example of someone who never apologizes fully for his actions and put others through the wringer for it. Sorry, no matter how these stans say it Stolas is babied while Blitzo is the one who gets the bashing. He gets to have excuses for why he cheated on his wife, why he treats Blitzo like shit, and even why he should have his feelings returned (even though he never earned it by being a condescending pos).

While the moral is good for Blitzo to learn so that he needs to change, it comes off as tone deaf treating Stolas as the person he harmed because he himself has bigger sins against Blitzo. If Stolas wasn't here and it was just Blitzo going on apology for everyone he harmed that would be different. However, Stolas isn't given an ounce to reflect why Blitzo wouldn't be apologetic over his treatment. Despite how defenders say it will come later, they always say that and as it turns out Stolas is still given baby hand treatments and not getting to the root of what he did wrong.

The bigger person who needs "It's You" treatment isn't Blitzo but Stolas who goes throughout this series not reflecting and growing. And the narrative's attempt to act like he does is gaslighting when he still feels entitled, condescending, and obnoxious to Blitzo. And again guy still is self-centered that he cares about what he wants over what Blitzo really wants. The guy is more like Bojack than Blitzo is and the show needs to realize it.

[cardiac-arresting-sweetheart]

Enneagram of Personality - but yanderes!

click me for the google docs version of this

made this entirely for fun. i'm not a psychologist or anything... just really obsessed with the enneagram and yanderes.

referenced enneagram user guide and advanced personality's enneagram wiki for making this as i based this system on the actual enneagram types. the regular enneatype (and tritype) is probably (exceptions likely!) the same as the "yandere type" but this is how each enneatype would behave as a "yandere."

i put way too much effort into this.

Type One: The Perfector

1 wants to mold their darling. 1 will make strict demands of their darling and often have some kind of set of “rules” for them, even if it is not externalized. Feels most responsible for their darling’s behavior as though they are their misbehaving pet. Very possessive in a watchful way. High standards for Darling, will explode on them if they don’t live up to expectations. Feels entitled to Darling, similar possessiveness to 8, but it is self-righteous in 1 rather than protective in 8. Similar to 8 in forcing Darling’s dependence on them, but 2 is self-sacrificial while 8 is dominant. Similar to 2 in thinking "I CAN FIX THEM!" but 1 is more behavior-correcting, 2 more emotional comfort.

Sees their darling as someone flawed who needs to be corrected and controlled.

Most strict, demanding type. Most likely to kidnap their darling.

Trigger: Darling “misbehaving” and failing to meet their standards—or even worse, if 1 makes the mistake themself.

Type Two: The Savior

2 wants to save their darling. 2 will suffocatingly devote all of their being to them and thus suffocate them with affection. If they see their darling relying on another person, they snap. They ensure that their darling depends on them the most. Likely to create problems for darling just to solve them and be the “hero”. Very possessive in a needy way. Goes to great lengths for their darling but has internal resentment for Darling if they are not appreciated enough that will cause them to snap one day if not managed. Similar to 1 in thinking "I CAN FIX THEM!" but 2 is more emotional comfort, 1 more behavior-correcting.

Sees their darling as helpless. “Poor thing!”

Most self-sacrificial, manipulative type. Most likely to isolate Darling.

Trigger: Darling failing to appreciate 2, seeing someone else as more helpful. Someone else being nice to Darling will enrage 2.

Type Three: The Performer

3 wants to feel valued by their darling. 3 will accomplish major tasks in order to wow their darling and push their own feelings aside in order to achieve success and bolster their image. 3 makes offerings to their darling. Desires to make their darling proud of them. 3 wants to be seen as the “perfect couple” with their darling. Would probably get stupid matching couple pajamas and all that.

Sees their darling as a reflection of their success, a “trophy wife/husband.” Also sees Darling as inferior to them.

Most competitive, dedicated type. Very highly image-conscious, more obviously than 2 or 4. Likely to collar their darling, like, literally make them wear a collar. Likely to sabotage Darling’s success so they can be “better” and more “important” than Darling, keeping their attention.

Trigger: Darling seeing them as inadequate; rejection or failure or Darling overshadowing their own success.

Type Four: The Soulmate

4 wants to be the most important person to their darling. 4 will do anything for their darling to keep them from leaving them and often base their entire self-worth and identity on their darling. They are incredibly envious of others and set off by even the smallest actions that could suggest their darling thinks someone is more interesting.  Thinks that Darling is the only one to ever “understand them.” Daydreams a lot, similar to 5 and 9. Mostly quiet resentment to others but expresses it more than 5 or 9. Often appears like 2 but 4 wants Darling to rescue them rather than them rescuing Darling like a 2 (exceptions possible). Likely to guilt-trip or “sui-bait” darling but not intentionally like other types—they just feel too strongly.

Sees their darling as their “true love” or soulmate, a missing piece to fill a void inside 4.

Most emotional, sensitive type. Most delusional type. Most jealous, envious type (of course, because 4’s Passion/Sin is Envy).

Trigger: Darling overlooking them (not being “the favorite”) or misunderstanding them. Also Darling showing interest in anyone else.

Type Five: The Stalker

5 wants to understand their darling. 5 will watch from afar and seems to “take notes” on everything about their darling. They are incredibly observant and analyze everything about their darling, but are often too anxious to act and get truly close with Darling.  Resentful to everyone in Darling’s life but unlikely to act on it. Daydreams a lot, similarly to 4 and 9.

Sees their darling as fascinating.

Most observant, avoidant type. Type that stalks Darling the most. Type with the most quiet hatred.

Trigger: Infringement on their interest with Darling

Type Six: The Watchdog

6 wants to feel a loyal, secure connection with their darling. 6 is very paranoid. They see Darling as the only source of safety and stability in their lives. They constantly test their Darling’s loyalty and are likely to make other people ask their darling questions or play tricks on them to see if they’re truly loyal. Constantly on the lookout for rejection or disloyalty. They are very insecure in their relationship with Darling. Goes to extreme measures to keep Darling close, such as manipulation (very likely to guilt-trip them or “sui-bait”) or threatening other people.

Sees their darling as a protective source, most trustworthy.

Most clingy, suspicious type. Type that will become most enraged by cheating. Archetypal “murdering everyone he’s ever looked at” yandere.

Trigger: Darling betraying them, even if it is only perceived that way. 

Type Seven: The Thrillseeker

7 wants to live an exciting, happy life with their darling. 7 thinks that their darling is the key to happiness and fulfillment in their life. Very madly in love type, puppy love-esque. Overwhelming need for love from Darling. Sick with optimism and blinds self to see only the good side of Darling and love. Daydreams excessively about love. Idealizes and tolerates Darling so much that it becomes detrimental to self. Overly trusting. Loves dates and adventures with Darling.

Sees their darling as their ultimate source of joy.

Most “love at first sight” type. Hopeless romantic, in the rose-colored glasses way. Noncommittal due to being restless rather than 4’s noncommittal traits due to being fragile. One of the most clingy types. Loves love the most. Most gullible type.

Trigger: Darling limiting them or making them upset; terrified by Darling setting up boundaries. Also triggered by Darling spending time with other people.

Type Eight: The Dominant

8 wants to protect and dominate their darling. 8 sees their darling as an extension of themself and ensures that no one else has power over them. Similar to 3 in that they want everyone to know their Darling is theirs. Probably refers to Darling in possessive terms like “my [Darling].” Similar to 6 in paranoia about not trusting others with Darling, but it is more controlling in 8 versus distrustful in 6. Due to their own fear of being vulnerable, they force Darling to become vulnerable to them in order to have power. Will probably try to isolate their darling. Similar to 2 in forcing Darling’s dependence on them, but 8 is dominant while 2 is self-sacrificial.

Sees their darling as their vulnerable “toy.”

Most possessive, aggressive type. Most likely to “mark their territory”. Most likely to become violent.

Trigger: Darling or others questioning their authority; enraged if Darling tries to become independent or questions them.

Type Nine: The Lapdog

9 wants to merge their life with their darling and live in harmony. 9 avoids conflict at all costs, greatest fear of losing their darling. Suppress their own needs not out of viewing them as lesser like 2 or an interference like 3, but due to fear of conflict. Fear of negative change expressed as a fear of any change as it becomes more unhealthy into the comfort zone. Seeks fulfillment with Darling’s contentment but does not fully engage and avoids making any decisions themself. Hides in a comfort zone. Daydreams a lot, similarly to 4 and 5. Quiet resentment like 5, but it is more passive-aggressive in 9. Likely to guilt-trip Darling, on purpose or not.

Sees their darling as a “safe person.”

Most submissive, passive type. Most passive-aggressive type. Most subtle manipulation.

Trigger: Darling being upset with them.

thanks for reading :3 i may edit this some more later...? but please reblog, i'd like to see what people think of this!!

quiz assessment is here if you want to try it.

[zahri-melitor]

So I read Batman 147 (on the basis that with how fast the conversation is moving right now I don't want to wait on DCUI Ultra delay), and I am having even more thoughts about how it as an issue positions the difference between Damian-as-Robin and Tim-as-Robin as characters adjunct to Bruce, and also in terms of both characters' long term storylines.

Because Damian as a character has always fought for attention and focus to be on him, and used various methods to gain that attention. He acts up as the youngest and reiterates his blood connection to Bruce and puts emphasis on being the Son Of The Bat because he wants acknowledgement, he wants to be special, he doesn't like that he arrived in Gotham and in Bruce's life and found that he wasn't the centre of Bruce's focus.

As a character Damian's most often written as part of an oppositional pair: his main titles have always been Batman & Robin and Super Sons, not Robin. He bounces off another character more than acts as a member of a team, whether that's working as Batman and Robin with Bruce or with Dick, or in stories where he's more in a bickering besties relationship with Colin Wilkes or with Maya Ducard or with Jon Kent. His team appearances frequently fall apart, because he starts trying to order people around.

So Damian says about his time with Dick as Batman and Robin "we were the best" and he says about himself and Bruce “Batman and Robin. Father and son. We don't need anyone else." It's about Damian's feelings of possession and entitlement and jealous ownership over the position as Robin. It's about how he has to regularly assert that his time with Dick as Batman and him as Robin, above and beyond anything else, was the best that Batman & Robin have ever been. It's his past need to prove himself and show himself as better than any previous Robin, about fighting them all, particularly Tim, to prove himself as the Worthy Best Robin.

And in 147 that's the Damian we get, one who has returned home to his father and is working on bonding with him again, and so he sees people doubting Batman and his back goes back up and returns to that Us Against The World mindset. Damian is following ZEA Batman’s orders because they make sense to him (yes they’re more violent but defending the Manor and Cave against Waller? There’s nothing in that which should raise alarm bells).

And Damian DOES clue in immediately on something more serious crossing his radar to what’s wrong with ‘Bruce’. As soon as ZEA trips up seriously, Damian notices it. This is actually a really good fallible Damian and he’s not actually being shown as holding the idiot ball here – he’s following on from the extended trust he was showing in Gotham War. ZEA Batman is in his blindspot over being the more violent Robin who does tend to want more physical solutions to how to fight crime. Also Damian’s immediate response being “I’ll kill you!” is so incredibly Damian. Still heightened violence.

And all of this level of possession, of 'all that is needed is Batman & Robin' nobody else, no other connections, is being contrasted by Zdarsky with the shape of Bruce and Tim's relationship as Batman & Robin.

Because Bruce and Tim, by contrast, view their partnership together through the frame that Tim is there to hold back the darkness and save Bruce from himself (a more classic depiction of Robin's role). Bruce is thinking about where to hide that ZEA Batman would not consider, and he thinks about his connections - he goes to Happy Harbour, and then he goes to a cabin that is about civilian family, and he thinks about Tim and about hard work because Tim IS the other character with a strong connection to Happy Harbour. And Tim comes to find where Bruce is hiding and feeds him and does the dishes (the caretaking! The reflections on how Bruce couldn't look after himself while Alfred was gone post Knightfall! Tim making Bruce dinner for Father's Day in Beechen's run!) and the first thing Tim says is “sounds like you need a partner”.

The focus and the conversation revolves around why Tim became Robin in the first place and saving Bruce from the dark via having connections. About having a reason to get up in the morning and for why Batman exists and why he has a partner and a family. It's answering "why is Tim Robin" with "Batman needs someone to haul him back when he overreaches".

It's the contrast between Damian, with his ‘natural, born and raised to be Robin’ conviction of his right to his position, compared to Tim, who “REALLY had to work at it”, and Bruce choosing that he needed to take inspiration from the goal make yourself great purely through your own hard work.

And it's meaty! juicy! these are their very different world views (where Damian has always fought for attention and focus from Batman to be on him, while Tim has pulled Bruce from being obsessed with himself/his grief).

I just want to roll around in it all.

[captain-hen]

I have been telling my friends that season 7 is a bridge. Also, that Tim had a plan and as he wasn’t in the last 2, the story isn’t as he planned so he spent the whole season taking the characters there. Meaning healing from last trauma to add new traumas and building the foundations for the next season, foundations he thought were going to be build.

For example:

- Chim and Maddie fostering Mara is the bridge to Maddie and Chim having another child, maybe adopting this time.

- Hen and Karen will adopt Mara, and I’m not quite sure about the next step because I’m thinking about Captain Hen but I don’t think it’ll happen in the next season.

- Bi Buck we know what bridge that is even if some people don’t want to accept it.

- Eddie, being bad written, is the bridge to prioritising and putting himself first for them establishing boundaries with his parents. (Kind of Buck did). Also, to discover himself and what he really wants. Healing.

- Bobby to realise he’s a hero and that his works wasn’t over, especially now that Gerrard is back.

- Athena hasn’t been a proper cop this season and both times (Harry incident and whatever the fuck was the Amir thing) she has used her power so I think something will happen there that’ll make her stop and think.

The reason why the wasn’t room for development is because for some stories, it was the end (Chim being traumatised in his wedding by Doug) and for other stories it was the beginning (the whole episode 7x10)

i'm sorry, i don't want to sound like i'm being dismissive of your opinion because you're entitled to it, but i don't agree with any of this. to start with, it's too bad that tim couldn't tell the story he wanted to after s4, but that's not an excuse for him to come back two seasons later, throw a temper tantrum and ignore everything that's happened since that isn't convenient for him. lol. as for the rest, let's break it down:

this sets up for maddie and chim having another child...except we don't actually KNOW how THEY feel about it. they've never talked about having more kids, let alone fostering. we never saw any of this from their POV, we were just up and told that they wanted to do it for henren. which is a beautiful thing for them to do, but we don't know what they feel about it, if they've considered the logistics of having a second child, about jee having a sibling—none of it!

my issue with henren this season was that they recycled the plot of them having trouble with expanding their family for, what, the...third time? it's so tired and feels like misery porn at this point (and let's not even get into the uncomfortable racial elements around the way mara was written in 7x05).

something as monumental as the bi!buck arc should have been explored better. sorry. aside from his conversation with maddie, we barely got to see buck do any kind of serious self-reflection about this major part of his identity and his relationship with tommy, has, well. it's just been written in a very strange and off-putting way post 7x05. sorry to say.

whatever happened with eddie is really not the way to get him to prioritize himself! think about it. for the first time he prioritized his own grief in trying to get catharsis with kim. and it backfired on him spectacularly. he hurt his kid. he lost christopher. i don't think he's ever gonna recover from this guilt. if anything, what's happened will only reinforce his belief that he should never prioritize himself, ever. the thing with kim didn't lead to any kind of healing, it made everything a million times worse. he was quite literally punished by the narrative for his grief and it's quite sickening. and given how things were handled this season i highly doubt it will be treated with any kind of nuance or care in the next.

this has not been the first time athena has abused her power—only the most egregious instance of it—and it won't be the last. if abusing her power in s1 and harassing a teenage girl then didn't get her to stop and think, i don't think this will. sorry.

my entire point, is that most of the things you've mentioned here was incredibly last minute. madney fostering mara. the eddie/kim plotline. eddie's conflict with chris. the bobby and amir plotline. everything in 7x10 felt like an afterthought. why is it that bobby's life was in serious danger and yet we barely saw anything of him? why didn't we get to see more the firefam being worried over him and holding vigil? how is it that eddie and chris didn't even have a single conversation before chris went away to a different state?

you don't use all ten episodes of a season just to set up new plot points for the rest without developing or concluding the stuff already going on in a meaningful manner that makes sense. sorry.

[bonefall]

i think nightcloud's pannage is perfect, personally. it gives her a great opportunity to compare herself to the sow in her mind; perhaps she even goes behind onestar's back to try and reunite some of the humbugs with their mother?

Yeah, I think it's all coming together. It should be Nightcloud's Pannage. I was a little apprehensive of eliminating the stoats, but I think this will actually work better.

Now I can use the hog and her humbugs as a vehicle for conflict, create a really interesting comparison to herself and the demonized mother boar, and also establish the very cute little detail that she REALLY loves piggies just in case the opportunity to make Sowstar presents itself later.

Friendship Ended with Stoats; now Sow and Humbugs are my Best Friend

When a litter of humbugs get lost in the tunnels and start popping up all over the WindClan Moor, their mother comes to try and find them.

Mama Sow is actually going to get a name. The new "Head of Hunting" role has this as a major part of their job; they are meant to keep track of major individual predators in their territory, so they name notable animals.

DETOUR: I kinda want her name to be Rashma in Clanmew; in English that's Oxeye Daisy, or Moonpenny or Marguerite. I think calling her Marge is the funniest possible thing I can do here.

Marge is notorious for liking the taste of moonpenny, which makes prey taste awful.

So, she's never been hunted, has lived to the grand age of at least 5, and is known as a prolific, doting mother.

So I might actually have the Head of Hunting of ThunderClan, possibly the newly promoted Lionblaze, come to WindClan to warn them that Marge is on the loose.

Onestar is currently in one of the lower points of his arc, like canon. So he pretty bitterly dismisses this warning, and cuts Lionblaze off when he tries to offer ThunderClan's help if Marge becomes trouble.

(Or Lionblaze might be training under someone else, currently. I'm unsure. The last cat I have planned to be the Head of Hunting in ThunderClan is Willowpelt.)

After more scouting, WindClan comes to realize that Marge's humbugs are all over the moor. They're JUST big enough to put up a fight, but not big enough that the inexperienced WindClan can't win. About 3 or 4 months old.

I know that at least ONE of these humbugs is killed by WindClan.

It was awful to Nightcloud, like, so uncomfortably sloppy that it caused her to disassociate with raw fury and finish the job.

That's important because it's how I'd open up the first flashback of her childhood, that night.

As the Clan is roasting the humbug, congratulating her, singing high praises, she realizes she was reminded of a gruesome hunting incident when she was a kitten.

Each humbug would be tied to some sort of thought she has on her own life, so I can use them as a framing device.

She probably gets separated in the end because reuniting the humbugs with Marge brought her far away.

BTW I want to make sure Marge is still very much an animal. They can't become "friends" in the end lmaooo.

But Marge could "return the favor" without breaking that rule too much, I think. Maybe have Nightcloud get chased somewhere by a fox and Marge comes out of nowhere to kill it without even breaking a sweat, then moves on.

So far, something I'm kind of enjoying about Nightcloud's Pannage is the way it's just sort of reflective. It's about the hogs and dealing with them, but in TRUTH, it's just a window into WindClan during an interesting point in time.

Crowfeather is reeling from NOT being respected anymore, suddenly losing something that was very important to him, because he misused that power and felt entitled to it.

Realizing he has no friends or family left, because he was AWFUL to them.

The Clan is now looking to Nightcloud, giving her a sense of respect she doesn't really like very much. But she's exploring what that feels like, for the first time, as she comes to terms with her past.

Breezepelt/Dodderheart reaches a very low point in his life, and starts pushing people who love him away to set up where he's going in the next arc.

Onestar is ALSO at a low point. I should include him nonsensically snapping at Brushblaze after Galekit and Smokekit are born in this SE, so Nightcloud can grapple with how on edge her leader seems.

(Possible trigger where she also is immediately ported back to Hillrunner snapping at her for something equally "random")

Plus the supporting cast of interesting cats with their own feelings on this; Harespring who's trying to stay diplomatic, Heathertail who's frustrated, Willowclaw and her budding friendship to Nightcloud, etc.

Hmmmm.... you know, now that I'm writing this out, it's kinda striking me that Nightcloud's probably SO sensitive at this time in her life because, it's the first time she's actually felt safe.

You know that thing with PTSD where it all hits you at once? Because you're FINALLY in a place where you can unpack it?

So it all gets worse before it gets better?

I should keep that in mind with this one.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

hiii, could i request a rafe fic with ‘’I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget you ever even met that asshole.’’ + breeding kink where the reader just broke up with her shitty ex? tysm!!

This has been in my drafts for so long. I’ve sorry to the anon who requested it

Warnings: mention of cheating, 

—

Is it really a party if someone doesn’t end up crying in a bathroom? the kind soul who would tell the crying girl to wipe her tears and that she deserved better than the asshole who hurt her, but tonight the role reversed and the curse fell on you.

You stared at your reflection with blurry eyes, wanting nothing more than to go home and put on your Taylor Swift heartbreak playlist and cry until sleep overtook you. That sounded like a perfect ending for tonight. But, to do that, you had to exit the bathroom and walk through the houseful of party people. A houseful of eyes who would see your red eyes and the smeared mascara and make you the next topic of gossip.

A loud knock — slam of hand — snapped you out of your bubble and forced you to come out of the bathroom.

A blonde girl pushed past you, visibly drunk, and slammed the bathroom door.

‘’Been in there for a while. Were you sucking a dick?’’ Rafe Cameron sniggered, a cocky smile on his face.

‘’I don’t have time for your shit, Rafe.’’ You wiped the last tears from your eyes and walked past him.

Unfortunately, he followed you. ‘’Are you crying because of the dick sucking? I was just messing with you—’’

You shook your head at how entitled he was. ‘’Not everything is about you,’’ you said before taking the stairs.

‘’What are those tears for then, uh? And don’t say you’re just drunk because you don’t seem drunk to me.’’

Rafe was the last person you expected to care, but here he was, following you in the stairs and asking the provenance of your tears.

‘’I just want to go home.’’

‘’I’ll take you home. My truck is parked across the street.’’

Although you wanted to decline — a car ride with Rafe sounded like a nightmare —, you didn’t feel like walking the five miles to your house. The faster you would get home, the faster you could cry in your bed.

‘’What do you want in exchange?’’ you asked cautiously, sensing there was something underneath.

Rafe shrugged his shoulders. ‘’Nothing. This is just an act of kindness.’’

‘’From you?’’ You scoffed. ‘’I’m having difficulty believing that.’’

The inside of the truck was surprisingly clean. There were no girl underwear on the backseat or weird stains. Just a random golf ball and a gym bag.

It was silent as Rafe drove, both of your eyes ahead on the road. You didn’t mind the quiet. Especially in Rafe’s company. Every time he opened his mouth, you dreaded whatever would come out.

“You don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to, but I’m here when you are ready.”

Where was this sudden wave of kindness coming from? Was it hidden under his cocky and self-absorbed personality? Or was he just trying to get in your pants? It wouldn’t be the first time a guy faked being interested in you just to have sex.

You closed your eyes as tears welled and took a deep breath in. ‘’I…I caught him with his tongue in another girl's mouth.’’ You doubted he wanted to hear your horrible night, but continued. ‘’You know Rachel with the crooked nibs? Her shirt was off and his pants were undone — it was very obvious what they were about to do. He...he said it was a moment of weakness.’’ You huffed at his ridiculous excuse.

Did he really think this was going to make you forgive him? Men’s stupidity never ceased to surprise you.

‘’Eating chocolate cake during a diet is a moment of weakness. Not cheating of your girl.’’

A small smile curled on your lips. The comparison was unusual, but it worked.

For the rest of the drive, you found yourself gazing at Rafe — his summer skin and blue eyes, the way the wind coming from the window down blew in his hair…and the rumored huge dick he was hiding in his shorts. You wanted to run your hands through hair and kiss along his jawline. The cologne he had spritzed before coming to the party filled his truck, making your core tighten.

‘’Rafe?’’ He hummed, his eyes still on the road. ‘’Can you fuck me?’’

Your words surprised the both of you.

‘’Not because I like you,’’ you took care to precise. ‘’I just don’t want to go home and mope about a guy who cheated on me. I just want to take my mind off this.’’

A smug grin curled on his lips, shaking his head. ‘’Of course.’’

‘’I mean it,’’ you hissed. ‘’I’m not attracted to you. You’re annoying and full of yourself and—’’

He cut you off with his lips, kissing you over the gearshift. You quickly recovered from the initial shock and kissed back, grabbing him by the back of his neck and deepening the kiss, forgetting that Rafe was still driving.

You pulled back and Rafe parked the truck on the side of the road. The second the contact was cut, your lips connected again and he backed his seat to make room, then pulled you over and on his lap.

‘’I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget you ever even met that asshole and then I’m gonna cum into your sweet little pussy, fill you up real good. Do you want that?’’ Rafe asked, his voice low and horny.

His filthy words elicited a whine from you, impatient to get to that point. As they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

—

OBX taglist: @moralina @eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx   @sweeterheartxamerica  @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski

[kelseytheballerina]

what made you realise you were acting vain and how did you change it?

It wasn’t just me enjoying the fun or relaxation of it anymore, it was a serious pursuit. So take my enjoyment of luxury goods for example. I like buying bags and shoes and stuff bc I think they are pretty and I just like them for what they are. I don’t make an idol of it, I don’t think it makes me better than anyone, and if God showed up and told me to leave it behind I would do it before he even finished the sentence bc I don’t actually place too much importance on it. I can wear a chanel or a random unbranded bag from amazon and it wouldn’t make a difference. But when it came to former beauty practices, I did care. A lot. The thought of not being done up a certain way was no longer simply about self care but caring far too much about how others were perceiving me and how I was looking in relation to others. Always wanting to be the shining star in the room. I was also doing it for personal enjoyment and for beauty’s sake but there were other dubious thoughts bubbling under the surface and they weren’t healthy. It was giving me a false sense of superiority and for what?

It was weird bc I would see other vain girls and feel a distaste for them even though we were exhibiting the same traits. So I was really seeing myself and not liking the reflection, if that makes sense. There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a difference between doing something because you like it and feel like doing it vs feeling like you have to even when you don’t authentically feel like it. My views on beauty are very relaxed now and although I very much enjoy my routines and the end result, it is not an idol in my life and I am fully shining in simply doing what I want/like and feeling no pressure of any sort to be as pleasing to the biggest pool of people as I was before.

Being pretty, dressing cute, it doesn’t make me better than anyone else. It doesn’t make me worth more. It doesn’t mean I deserve more or am entitled to demand better. Yes I knew that before but I wasn’t behaving that way 100% of the time. All it means is that I like having curled hair and eyeliner. That’s it.

Whenever I take breaks from the extra outward adornments (just wearing my hair curly, no makeup, etc), I don’t feel any better or worse about myself bc it’s been taken off of a pedestal in my life. 2021 was definitely the height of my vanity and I’m glad I don’t have that same mindset anymore. You can enjoy looking good and taking really good care of yourself without being snooty or insufferable about it and somehow I was really annoying that year lmao! But it’s funny bc I got a lot of followers that year so people loved it but after a while I realized that I wasn’t as proud of my behavior and I didn’t think it was showing upstanding character. At the end of the day, getting 50k notes on a post and gaining a bunch of followers doesn’t mean anything if I’m not proud of who I’m becoming when I put the phone down.

I am a very visual person and I love beauty and will always enjoy partaking in beauty routines, but it doesn’t mean I have to be vain.

[serpentinespider]

Earth-6198 Flash ref!! Yippee!!

His appearance and personality are based almost entirely off of MCU Flash (with some of my own personal touches obviously), though the reasons he acts the way he acts are different. I also took several aspects from the comics, story-wise. He’s probably the character I’ve put the most thought into for this AU. I love him dearly :]

Abbreviated info under the cut! (It’s still pretty long, though.) Content warning for ableism.

I wouldn’t call Flash a bully exactly, because that would imply aggression; he’s just, well, a teenage boy. He also comes from a pretty wealthy family, which makes him entitled, plus his parents don’t really give him any positive attention. He makes insensitive jokes and generally tries to keep himself as the center of attention because he’s insecure and seeks approval from his peers. Will do pretty much anything to be liked, and if that fails he’ll act out for attention. He’s very resentful of anyone he considers to be smarter or “better” than him. Flash has a running rivalry with Harry Osborn. Harry is somewhat GNC, has stereotypically “cringe” interests, and is disabled (t1d) so he’s an easy target for Flash’s mean jokes. (Flash thinks that he’s “allowed” to make ableist jokes at others’ expense because he himself is disabled.) 

Flash has cerebral palsy which affects his fine motor skills and ability to walk. His parents got him into physical therapy as early as possible, and he responded well to it— but not well enough for their liking. In Harrison Thompson’s mind, the goal wasn’t to improve Flash’s quality of life, but to “fix” him. Flash grew up with his parents constantly looking down on him, insinuating that his disabilities were his own fault. Sentiments like “you just have to work harder to compensate; if you fall behind, it’s because you’re not trying hard enough” were common. He’s taken that mentality to heart, and has very little self-worth + large amounts of pent-up stress and anger that he takes out at anyone else who is also “abnormal” (hence his meanness towards Harry). 

He has also latched onto Spider-Man as a more… positive(?) reflection of these feelings— his father, who’s a police chief, hates Spidey, so liking him is like Flash’s small way of going against the stuff his parents say (even if it’s subconscious/he doesn’t fully know that’s why). 

In sophomore year, Flash dated Felecia Hardy. They were the world’s most obnoxious couple, always getting in very public fights, breaking up but then getting back together dramatically a week later, etc. Felecia and Flash both have huge crushes on Spider-man, leading Flash to have a sexuality crisis and Felecia to break up with him for good after a few months of dating.

Black Cat was commissioned by an anonymous benefactor to steal an “alien clone” from Alchemax… she’d never done anything NEARLY on that level, but she was being offered a lot of money so she agreed. She did manage to steal the thing, but the deal fell through, and suddenly she had one lab-grown alien and no money to show for it.  At a loss for anything else to do, panicking a little, Felicia dumped the alien onto the only person she could think of: her ex-boyfriend Flash. 

Now, despite what his parents might tell him, Flash is very smart, and figured out what the thing was. Flash is, at first, very hyped about this. His first thought is, of course, to become a vigilante like his idol Spider-Man. Flash has a strong desire to be useful— not in the “I want to help other people” sense but in the “I need to prove to others that I have worth” sense. So, he crafted the Anti-Venom identity for himself!

Around this time, Spider-Man was in the process of fighting his first big villain, Hobgoblin, so the two ended up teaming up to try and take her down (in the least violent way possible). This caused some internal conflict for both Flash and Spidey… 

Flash centered his whole identity around "fitting in" to the point that he actually has no identity of his own. He doesn’t know what he likes, he has no concept af his own style outside of mimicking others that he sees as influential, obviously the most prominent of these being Spider-Man. Which obviously comes with its own twisted irony since Spidey himself is so insecure in his own masculinity (mainly because he’s trans). The two of them were sort of trapped in this feedback loop of insecurity and validation when they first teamed up... Spidey longs for connection, but was unable feel comfortable around Flash as he felt like he has to perform to live up to Flash’s expectations. Meanwhile Flash had based his whole personality off of liking Spider-Man and put on this macho facade to try and impress him. But that just made Spidey feel more inferior, afraid he isn’t passing well enough, etcetera… their dynamic made even more complex by Flash’s very obvious (and unrequited) crush on Spidey.  They’re awful, I love them :3

[hand-of-devotion]

I keep rotating certain aspects of the Evontra'vir-Ashton conversation and there's one specific thing I see other people taking away from it that is lacking a certain amount of nuance that stuck with me.

Specifically in regards to Ashton's views and how they parallel his fathers.

It should be obvious to everyone at this point that Ashton's stubborn hypocritical "refusal to the call" rooted in his anti divine/fate beliefs need some genuine reflection. They are important and they are aware of it but they don't want any of the hard to grapple with things associated. He needs to think about what it is he can actually do moving forward rather than getting caught up in what he feels he's owed.

However! One very important thing that I keep seeing others ignore or maybe just not even pick up on is THIS.

Efterin's entitlement came from his own zealots ego. The powers he believed he was promised an understanding and control over were NEVER his.

Ashton's entitlement towards the situation is rooted in what was done TO him. Those powers are in fact his. They have been there since he was a child due to a ritual he had no say in. That ritual physically altered his body and killed off nearly everyone in his entire village.

Which. Again. Just because they HAVE those powers doesn't mean they were ever guaranteed mastery over them. Certainly not without putting in effort. It has never been a "gift", even if part of them wishes it was. There is likely never going to be a reality in which the full-blown titan level abilities just ACTIVATE for him with full ease. Moving forward. He has a base level of info. Which he likely didn't find satisfying (but given the situation, there was never really a "satisfying" answer). Now they need to just. Look forward and inward. Make some changes if they want some changes.

But yeah. At the end of the day. Regardless of parallels and a real need for character reflection and growth. Saying that Ashton is "the same" as Efterin seems. Fairly reductive, all things considered.

[yourhighness6]

Zutara's Song is Definetely The Great War by Taylor Swift

I've seen a lot of Zutara songs and playlists out there and I wanted to share my opinion on my personal favorite

I want to start out by saying that this analysis is going to completely ignore Taylor Swift's intentions when she wrote the song and any analysis of the song in concurrence with her life. I'm also going off my personal feelings that the first verse and chorus are Zuko talking to Katara, the second verse, chorus, and bridge are Katara talking to Zuko, and the remaining parts of the song are them reflecting after the war.

My knuckles were bruised like violets,

Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep talked,

For me, this was pretty typical season 1 Zuko. Angry at the world, fighting everything in sight, ect, ect. It's only after the first two lines that the song gets a little bit more specific.

Spineless in my tomb of silence,

Tore your banners down, took the battle underground,

That third line is really reminiscent of Ba Sing Se. He took himself out of the story, until, of course, he had to make a choice in "Crossroads of Destiny"

And we know what he chooses

It's almost phrased in the form of an apology, which connects it even further to their story. "Tore your banners down" could also mean the fall of Ba Sing Se in general. Aang is Katara's banner, the avatar who she put so much hope in, but the Earth Kingdom banner is also who she was fighting behind. Azula killed Aang, so I would personally say it's the latter, but I saw two meanings behind it so it's totally up for interpretation.

And maybe it was egos swinging,

The "egos swinging" bit resonated with me a lot, because at this point in the story Zuko isn't done with his character arc. He still seeks his father's validation over his own moral code, and although it seems to me like he's gotten over a lot of his entitlement, I think he still feels entitled to his throne. That's one of my favorite things about his arc, actually, that he comes from a place of privilege but eventually, unlike Azula, realizes that the right to rule isn't given by birth but by true care for the people you represent. (some politicians should take notes)

Maybe it was her,

To me, the "her" in this case is Azula, convincing Zuko their father will be proud of him if he returns to the Fire Nation, although it could also mean Mai. Again, open for interpretation.

Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur,

This could mean a lot for different people. I've seen a theory about Zuko possibly disassociating (not unlike similar theories about Darth Vader), which I think is interesting. It could also maybe represent the guilt he still feels, which is my personal opinion.

Moving on, the chorus is fairly generic once again,

All that bloodshed, crimson clover,

Uh-uh, sweet dream was over,

My hand was the one you reached for,

All throughout the great war,

The hand part stuck out to me because of the part in the final agni Kai when they reach for each other:

(screencaps are bad quality but ya'll get the idea)

Then it goes back to the any enemies-to-lovers generic dynamic again...

Always remember, uh-uh,

Tears on the letter,

I vowed not to cry anymore,

If we survived the Great War.

And then we switch to Katara's POV:

You drew up some good faith treaties,

I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone,

You could argue that this is several moments throughout the series, maybe at the end of the war when she gets together with Aang, but I connected it most with her time spent on the ship after book 2. While Zuko was trying to fix his relationship with the Fire Nation and return to his family, Katara was isolating herself, worried about the war, about the avatar, avoiding her father and Sokka out of shame and feelings of abandonment. It was an extremely dark time for her, and although Zuko was trying to feel hopeful about his return, he doesn't even smile when he reunites with Mai. He knows he made the wrong decision.

You said I have to trust more freely,

This is after Zuko's redemption arc, during "The Southern Raiders" (which is probably my favorite ATLA episode, btw). Zuko encourages Katara to trust him, feeling that he is changed and is now deserving of it.

But she refuses to forgive or trust him

I would argue this is for good reason. She is clearly angry at more than just him, the entire Fire Nation, in fact, for murdering her mother and starting the war, but it is also very personal. When he betrayed her in Ba Sing Se after she revealed such a devastating detail of her life and they shared a connection, her abandonment issues probably came into play. It's similar to the trauma she had with her father after he left to join the war. She is scared that the people she cares about will leave her, just like her parents did, whether they had a choice or not, and just like Aang did when Azula shot him with lightning, again, without meaning to. Zuko left her intentionally to join the Fire Nation, even after she offered to heal his scar, a very important moment in their arcs. She is forgiving, optimistic, helpful, and kind to someone who hunted her and her friends for nearly a year, and he throws the offer of her most valuable asset back in her face and is instrumental in Aang's near death experience.

But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire,

He helps her. He uncovers her trauma, aids her in working through it, is supportive even when it was probably more than he bargained for.

And maybe it's the past that's talking,

Screaming from the crypt,

Telling me to punish you for things you never did,

Her mother did die at the hands of the Fire Nation, under Zuko's family's orders, whether they came directly from Ozai or not. But he wasn't the one who killed her or ordered her death, and he IS the one who is trying to defeat his father and end the war in favor of balance and peace. She realizes that...

So I just defied it,

...And finds it in her heart to forgive him.

After that, we start on the chorus again.

All that bloodshed, crimson clover,

Uh-uh, the bombs were closer,

I think that last line also refers to a different scene, much earlier in "the Southern Raiders", when Azula attacks the temple...

My hand was the one you reached for,

All throughout the Great War

...And Zuko saves Katara.

(I might do a separate post analyzing just this moment because holy crap there is A LOT there)

Always remember, uh-uh,

The burning embers,

I vowed not to fight anymore,

If we survived the Great War,

I think this refers to the agni Kai specifically, as does most of the bridge. The fire everywhere, the fear, the fact that it's the last battle of the war. It just fits.

It turned into something bigger,

Somewhere in the haze got the sense I'd been betrayed,

Your finger on my hairpin trigger,

Everything is depending on this battle. If they can't defeat Azula, what will happen to the Fire Nation? Will the people now just be under a new, arguably stronger and more powerful tyrant?

Soldier down, on that icy ground,

Looked up at me with honor and truth,

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops,

But they never learn what would have happened, because their combined efforts defeat Azula.

That was the night I nearly lost you,

I really thought I'd lost you

But not before Zuko (or rather, Azula) gives Katara the fright of her life.

(the love and concern on her face is so heartbreakingly beautiful it makes me want to sob)

And now everything is fine! The bridge is over and the next verse is full of hope.

We can plant a memory garden,

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair,

For the poppy part, I'd like to address a particular fan theory. In the final scene, Katara has a pink flower in her hair.

(I left the usernames on, but please lmk if anyone wants a different type of credit. screenshot taken from this post: x)

According to another source I found, this flower is a pink peony, which symbolizes prosperity and a happy marriage.

(flower analysis originally from this post: x)

I know that this is a peony, not a poppy, but close enough? Also, if it were a poppy, it would symbolize compassion and platonic love.

Either way, I think of this as a kind of goodbye from Zuko to Katara. No matter what the situation was at the end of the series, whether Zuko was in love with Katara, Katara was in love with Zuko, or they were in love with each other, "platonic love" and "happy marriage" were a goodbye. It's either wishing her the best with Aang, or saying they can only be friends because of Aang or because of duty, but that he loves her anyway. (oh look, I made myself cry) At least, I think that in canon context. But within the song, it's a peony and they're now engaged lol

Anyway, the verse continues.

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair,

And we will never go back to that,

And then the chorus starts again, but it's tone is far more hopeful than before. The worst is behind them. The war is over.

Bloodshed, crimson clover,

Uh-uh, the worst was over,

My hand was the one you reached for,

All throughout the Great War,

Always remember, uh-uh,

We're burned for better,

I vowed I would always be yours,

'Cause we survived the Great War.

It's just so perfect! I love it! (psst, if anyone wants me to also analyze another "Zutara song" feel free to ask)