#and feel like your life has meaning
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No one will ever do ‘enemy dying for you’ like ryuunosuke fucking akutagawa
#they’re not friends by then#you could argue that their relationship doesn’t meaningfully change#akutagawa does for atsushi because he believes in him#outside his hatred and jealousy he BELIEVES in him#and it’s#its so fucked#to be atsushi nakajima so traumatized so terrified#so frustrated at having to work with a guy who hates you for everything you are#to see him die for you#not just for a cause. not for anything other than YOU#and feel like your life has meaning#outside what is considered good and evil#I’m sorry I’m sorry he was not saved because he was the hero#or the best for the job#or any other fucking reason#he was saved because akutagawa cared enough to save him#do you get it??? do you understand???#anyway I’m normal about them#sskk
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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It's not even about the vindication of calling a ship, okay. It's that the supposedly anti woke studio wrote about 3 million words of medieval fiction centering the relationship of the two main characters who are in most ways (or in all ways if you follow the obvious canon momentum of the story) meant for each other, as counterparts who help each other survive the great travails of their lives and who challenge/complete the other to become fuller, braver, kinder people. It's so clear these two people are soulmates, platonically or romantically, something observed consistently by the world around them and by themselves.
Except their society (feudalism, Catholicism) dictates that they are intended to be completely incompatible by nature and divine law. Not just for the obvious fact they are both men, but they are separated by what is arguably an even steeper chasm of social class. Their existence even as friends utterly spites, interrupts, and threatens feudal order right down to its theological and philosophical roots. They should not see each other as human and yet.
It's the fact that they do. The fact that the entire story has been about this--that these two protagonists fit together, undeniably, and grow to love each other fiercely (a love that deepens superbly from their knee-jerk playful puppy-friend-love in kcd1 to something selfless and mature by the end of kcd2). And they do so despite the immense opposition by their world, their social circles, their faith, and indeed their fandom.
And yes, it really does fucking matter that all of this culminates into a deep onscreen romantic love (if you get out of the way and allow it to) between two fandom-beloved male main characters (not just side characters rammed in for an optional gay romance but THE main characters of the duology; the "you" as in the player character and your erstwhile dick-jokes bro you have perhaps grudgingly at first been invited as the audience to love) in a historical fiction story that has been wrongly touted by the worst of our contemporaries as the holy grail of cultural conservatism.
Holy shit. Warhorse -- y'all. I'm sorry I doubted you. So few game writers understand how love works and indeed how people work, let alone translate it so well onto the screen.
Calling this an "optional romance" is not technically incorrect, I suppose, because it's true you can opt out and choose to remain platonic friends. But this language feels like a disservice, as if Henry & Hans's romance is a typical RPG wham-bam fanservice makeout with a minor fan fave character who never interacts meaningfully with the player again. Or as if it's a Bioware-style "give this NPC the right gift and do their side quest and you get to see a jankly ugly-bumpin' montage" situation.
Kingdom Come: Deliverance is so very much not that. The "main, optional" romance scene in question is just one consummation event of two people who have been growing up and falling in love in front of us over the course of some 200-300 (or god knows how many) hours. The fact these protagonists openly love each other is very much not optional.
This is, sincerely, groundbreaking storytelling in this medium and this genre. How fucking cool that we all got to see it now.
#kingdom come deliverance#kcd#redmeta#spoilers#henry of skalitz#hans capon#not to shade bioware (okay totally to shade bioware) but i've long felt they write like the low-middest YA fantasy you've ever read#Warhorse writes like an adult who has experienced love and pain and is also a professional author#which is pleasing given that there's so much monty python humor in their games and so many immature personalities in the char cast#this is of course not to say that all elements of the storytelling are as top notch or as mature as the main thread but you know. wow#i mean this as the absolute highest compliment but this game feels like playing the best fucking fanfic you have ever read in your life#in its intimacy its storytelling methods and its focus on complex artistry and relationship building as the vehicle for plot
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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Tiresias x Hermes doodle?
Ask and ye shall receive
#I actually really like them idk#if somebody can write a fic where tiresias is like feeling his face and hermes is just flirting back#my life will be yours#I mean if anyone has fics for these guys in general#��#yeahhh#epic the musical#hermes epic#hermes and tiresias#hermes x tiresias#tiresias#tiresias epic the musical#my art#my doodles#epic harbringers
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good morning tetro community
@jubileedeeznuts-posting dragged me into this because he's a dastardly awful terrible unforgivable wretch and i HATE her
#my art#tetro danganronpa pink#hiroaki nakamigawa#ojima takeshi#hama ran#that's right ... it's me .... jubilee “mate” who was dragged in for the third trial .....#im just gonna yap in the ensuing tags don't mind that#hama's such a cutie i actually love him so bad thats all abt that#“that's all” no it's not i just wanted to draw him smiling bc he deserves it#what a sweetie bro has done nothing wrong ever#and hiroaki and takeshi .... wait shoudl i tag#hirojima#anyways aside from shipping i just think their dynamic is really really good#hiroaki is so clearly bothered by takeshi zoning out but vehemently doesn't blame HIM for it#and defends him against other people getting mad at him for it AND their accusations because he TRUSTS takeshi more than anyone#that trust and that bond means so much in a setting like this#andit must mean so much to takeshi who feels so unsafe in his life. in this place. in his own head. but he has SOMEONE he can feel safe wit#the way he calls for nakamigawa when he's in such a vulnerable state and sounds so close to tears#that bond is something so special. i'm not even talking about shipping it's just so SPECIAL. this is so MEANINGFUL#having someone to rely on even if you're not ready to tell them your deepest traumas#but still knowing that they'd be there for you when you need or want them#not being in your right mind but calling out for someone and they're THERE and they keep reassuring you of that fact#holy mother of god#i really like takeshi and hiroaki but especially takeshi he's my number 1#tetro danganronpa
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FOR ALL MANKIND (2019– ) 1.04 "Prime Crew"
#for all mankind#forallmankindedit#mine*#sd*#tvedit#molly cobb#sonya walger#wayne cobb#margo madison#wrenn schmidt#lenny jacobson#margo x molly#scifiedit#userstream#useroptional#cinemapix#dailyflicks#straight out of a romcom#i mean you are trying to hide behind a cold professional lady mask at work and go to the club to play a piano and being yourself for a mome#to stop thinking about the woman who irritates you at work and who is suddenly 24\7 in your mind and also forget that it's man's world#and then you play piano on a stage and feel the gaze and lock the eyes with the said woman#and you two are enemies and none of you admit that you are attracted to each other trying to get on each others nerves instead#and this club is your safe place to be yourself and feel something and then she is there#and then she comes to you and says finally there's something she likes about you#and you are fighting for your life trying to put that coat on and fail cos she saw YOU#and then this lesbian guy comes and she says it's her husband and you laugh cos what???//#no i get what the joke was supposed to be here in the show but i ship those two so hard and this entire scene has such a romcom vibes#it drives me insane#it has everything EVERYTHING from a romcom movie about nasa girls who start as enemies#and end up in a poly relationship with the lesbian husband
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NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
(objectober 2024 day 20: dream)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii mephone#i don't feel like tagging the others... individually they're not that important anyway#objectober#objectober 2024#featuring lyrics from dream by roar :) one of my favorite songs of theirs#roar has an incredible capacity for expressing helplessness and isolation in their songs. it's so heart-wrenching. horribly real#i don't know the 'real' meaning but i've always seen dream as being about wanting to make your parents happy#and feeling like you're always failing#and now that they're gone you feel totally lost cuz you've based your whole life around making them happy#and you feel so alone and scared without them#and you don't know whether to continue following what they would've wanted#or to pursue dreams you feel you can never achieve without their support#i may or may not be projecting... but in any case it's very VERY fitting for mephone#and the prompt immediately made me think of the song and him... so...#very fond of how this turned out :)
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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totally normal about the 'wedding?' response continuing to evolve even though it's only been 5 shows. at this point i'm convinced the grand plan behind tit is to convince dan via exposure therapy that he's allowed to want to get married
#going from being afraid of commitment and anti-traditional to not doing it because of spite and pettiness about peoples' expectations...#it's not weak to want it dan. you dont 'lose' simply bc our desire for you comes true#the only reason we *want* it is bc we want you to be happy#and while yes thats tied up in tradition for a lot of us. and theres a lot to unpack there about society and norms and whatnot.#it's rooted in this deep want for you to get your happy ending. and while life doesnt *end* after marraige.#it's a hell of a fuck you to everyone who thought you couldnt make it. it's a hell of a fuck yeah as a celebration of how far you've come#it means the walls you built to keep yourself safe. that maybe have started to feel claustrophobic these past 5 years. can come down.#idk. its up to you to decide.#imo it all comes back to that same thing. dan wants something. but he cant have it bc what will society say about him for wanting it?#so he has to play it down and partake in this convoluted dance to say he doesnt want it thatd be ridiculous#and then folds anyway. bc denial only lasts so long when desire is strong. and it feels like he should be punished for liking it#yk how wad was about carving the words into his head that we get to live? this is like him hearing over and over we want good things for him#titspoilers#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#phan#dnptit
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vilya saying "there was pressure put on me at a young age. i don't lead because i want to, i lead because i have to." and beau just going "it suits you, but also do whatever the fuck you want, i don't care." somehow feels like the most validating response Ever. i wonder how keyleth's story could have been different if she had someone beside her who didn't just say "you can do this, you'll do great" but also "do what you want to do – the people who matter most will stay by you regardless"
#not to say that beau is someone who matters most to vilya but beau is someone that vilya has come to respect#when you're at a crossroads where you either choose to stay in oblivion or return to your family and previous life branded as a Failure#it means a lot i think. to see a girl with so much courage and strength and skill and integrity and the capacity and willingness to do good#look at you and say you can do whatever you want and there are good people out there who won't judge you for it#like it's the easiest simplest thing in the world.#and to really look at this girl and Know that she's done it before and come out the other side stronger better happier because of it#the freedom that comes with that is life changing i think#anyway feeling normal about marisha ray and cross-campaign pc relationships and keyleth and beau. THANKS MS RAY#3h33m c2e106#text#critical role#cr2#cr lb#beauregard lionett#vilya cr#keyleth cr#cr meta#*meta#r: keyleth x beau
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Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm
Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3
#thinking about the 4sd where laura was talking about how all the hells titles are good but imogens sounds like it has a double meaning#that shes the storm's hope rather than just the intended a hope that comes from the storm.#and all of imogens 'i am the storm' esque responses#something something what does it mean to turn away from the storm when the storm is inextricable from who you are on both a psychological#and metaphysical level. how do you turn away from your fate when its already in your veins#imogen answers: you don't! you take it into you. and i think that's fun!#me holding imogen's arc in my hands so I can look away from the context it exists in: this is wonderful#critical role#imogen temult#cr3#bell's hells#predathos#liliana temult#also god. i really miss fcg and imogen. not only was fcg the only witness to a lot of imogen's most significant moments of internal conflic#he was also often the only one that could successfully get her to elaborate on vague claims she would make about how she feels about#the moon and the storm and their fight and all her fear and her willingness to be scared and still do the Right thing even if it risks her#life. and I remember how much fcg's presence was often imogen's impetutus to take seriously that the gods matter to people. because imogen#was the first and often the loudest one to insist fcg had a soul. but it wasn't until the magic of the everlight through pike and their#realization of a meaning through the changebringer that fcg really began to value themself. and she saw how much the gods really could be#this powerful and good force in a person's life beyond just granting them magic. and it led to her often pushing back against (thought ofte#in over delicate and tentative ways) ashton's claims against the gods. but fcg is gone and he died for the hells. and imogen doesn't have#that ever present reminder amongst the storm that the choices she makes will echo out farther than the people she cares about.#also just. they were besties 2 me. they bullied each other but also put the most effort into both challenging and understanding each other.#actually. now thinking about it. fcg and imogen had maybe the most illustrative dynamic of what bh could've been and failed to be. alas ala#cr spoilers#my post#long post#web weaving#web weave#cr edit
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What I'm hearing is that Davrin joined the Grey Wardens because he was lonely.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Davrin#something something you leave your clan because you feel like you don't fit in#but your new situation isn't really an improvement and you come to appreciate what you've lost#but you feel like the damage has been done so you can only move forward#you look for camaraderie in a group of warriors risking their lives to fight darkness who end their lives in darkness#now you have a sense of purpose‚ community‚ and can see the endgame clearly#something something your life has to have some grand meaning or what is even the point#and when that gets taken away? what then? how do you face just existing? for no particular reason?#remember when you were a little kid and you thought your adult life was going to be exciting? not boring like your parents'#and then you grow up and you're just a regular adult and it's nothing like the cartoons and shows and books you liked#maybe you're not even a particularly cool adult#you do your regular adult job or whatever and everything feels quite mundane#and you look for some meaning somewhere in there#hmmm
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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