#and everything else I’m struggling
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2cc36fc27c1959a50df753deea5f443c/37e48c7bacfedaf6-e6/s540x810/fcda064187985b2323e2854da4a5d8565aa88597.jpg)
Messy Ciri sketch because she’s badass
#my art#sketch#Ciri#Witcher 4#still practicing human anatomy#and everything else I’m struggling#the witcher 4
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a0697c34e4914ca90fe8ca110d09ab1b/3cf1143bfba9128d-7a/s540x810/8ac19a294914360da74e6954dbbadf0120e0ac1a.jpg)
twiddles my thumbs uhh umm.. started watching gravity falls ahah…
#instead of doing anything useful of course. it’s just this and the rings rotating in my head.#struggling with drawing AND struggling with everything else 😀👍#whatever man. whatever. old man time#gravity falls#stanley pines#grunkle stan#i’m on uhhhh season 2 episode 5… i haven’t watched this far before#like i watched most of season 1 yeaaarrsss ago but i don’t think i was paying any attention because now i like it a lot…#fanart#digital art#also haha floating heads again wow innovation happening here
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i think 900 was my worst 🙈#i just put things there where i’m like oooh! something i want to say something about later#and then i never do#or things i never got the confidence to post#or which i want to be able find easily later#but which then just get lost amidst everything else and way harder to find than if i’d just reblogged it#anyway yeah#i’ve been slowly working through them and whittling the number down#but it’s got me curious as to whether anyone else has similar struggles#or just generally what people’s relationships with tumblr drafts is#(these are the thoughts my brain has at 2am when i cant sleep)#polls#tumblr drafts#tumblr#lulu posts
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
"dazai is a divine being who always knows what’s going on and can predict everything" quick question did we read the same manga 💀
#idk what it is about people seeing a genuinely interesting character#who struggles with his humanity and thus puts on a facade for the people around him#and instead of taking one closer look at his actions and realizing that the entire point is that he is incredibly human#no matter what he or anyone else might believe#instead they just go wow he is so cool and literally always right about everything(???) he must be nonhuman#screaming crying throwing knives#the bones effect fr#sorry i’m trying to not be a hater here. but i am 😐
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
this might be an unpopular opinion but i’d rather have a full agnes of westview spinoff than only get more future agatha as a mentor/sidekick to billy and tommy
#i just struggle so hard with teen centered stories and found him especially infuriating the whole time#and mostly after his reveal too#it just already feels like a chore to watch whatever is next just for a couple minutes of agatha#who probably will become fairly one note from the writers because there ‘won’t be time’ to do more with her#which is also why i wish we had gotten a little more of the backstory now because i just don’t trust that there’s room for it because agatha#was never meant to be her own thing in the greater mcu. she was used as a stepping stone and even tho she’s popular they’ll just ignore it#until it’s been ‘too long’ to bother going back to everything else#it also doesn’t help that this whole phase is being put together piecemeal instead of taking a break after endgame to breathe and regroup#i think i’ve gotten off track but i’m just having a lot of thoughts this morning#agatha#aaa
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sharing one of the more powerful quotes from this current chapter of The Nazi Seizure of Power: The Experience of a Single German Town, 1922-1945.
The situation, where even heroism was denied the men of the democratic Left, came about in no small part because of the failure of the Social Democrats to understand the nature of Nazism. Just as their basic premise in the years before Hitler came to power was the erroneous assumption that the Nazis were essentially Putsch-ists who could not possibly attract a mass following, so their basic premise after Hitler came to power was the equally erroneous assumption that his would be a government similar to the others of the Weimar period.
The most eloquent document on this was the set of instructions sent out to SPD Locals in District Hanover on March 23, 1933. It was filled with instructions about sending for handbooks on Socialist policy in communal affairs and filling out questionnaires; in short, carrying on business as usual. The only reference to the phenomenon of Nazism was contained in paragraph seven;
Will the election of our village and town representatives be approved? That is a question which is repeatedly being asked. The question is unanswerable because we do not know what this government will do. However, in any case, we must, now as always, select trustworthy comrades as village representatives wherever we have a majority. Should they later not be sworn in, then we will take a position on this. Under no circumstances should we value any of our rights cheaply.
This at a time when SPD leaders were having their houses searched in the middle of the night for weapons! This when the officers of the Reichsbanner were being herded into jail by Storm troopers, beaten in the prisons across Germany, cast into Nazi concentration camps! The SPD, the only defenders of democracy in Germany, the men who should have been gathering guns and calling the general strike, or at least developing an underground with passwords, false names, and other paraphernalia of effective covert resistance, were instead being urged to keep the party files in order, to avoid bookkeeping errors, and above all to purchase the latest pamphlet on parliamentary tactics in village councils.
If the central offices of the SPD did not know “what this government will do,” the local socialist leaders in Northeim soon found out.
(the book goes on to describe the experiences of five Northeim Social Democrats over multiple pages of raids, imprisonment, misery, and persecution)
#last year I watched the presidential campaign run by the Democrats#and had the exact same feeling and thoughts that this passage gave me today#quotes#history#I’m not truly angry with anyone except the elites#but I’m really upset quietly with a lot of people for drinking kool aid after so many signs and everything#you can do what you want#for sure#but I’m no longer going to go out of my way to help others who don’t ask prepare for what’s happening#you have a brain think it through yourself you know?#not in a mean way just in a get off the fucking news cycle and think for a week you know?#this isn’t a vague post about anyone I promise! it’s just a general frustration post#I’m glad people can get away with not seeing#it’s more comfortable than accepting the coming discomfort#and it’s more comfortable than going too far down understanding lane and ending up at distress panic mansion#but if you want to keep yourself and anyone you care about functioning in coming years#you have to decide for yourself to be or become capable of doing what that takes no matter what#if you need to get yourself out there is no one who can make that final decision besides you.#if you need to prepare for some change to your hobby or work or life routine you need to do that and no one can figure it out for you.#if you need to protect someone else’s safety you need to decide how you can do that without folding or making mistakes.#if you’re confused and don’t feel like you know enough of what is going on you have to fix that for your own brain and verify source truth#it’s just the time to either calmly adapt or to make life harder for future me and I know which option I’m already working to choose#hope for the best prepare for the worst and expect something solidly in between#that’s what I’m going by now#no one knows what will happen for sure. but we do know how fast things have changed for other places before#there are going to be long strings of struggle ahead#we all will choose what people we want to be as we navigate them#I hope we all make it#shh katie#Nazis
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f5757660ad6f2a58eb2d0b9979cf387b/c09e664114f9f8e3-91/s640x960/832bda6a947df3c25402d5aa2dc55816ae6801b6.jpg)
2024 reads / storygraph
The Teller of Small Fortunes
lighthearted fantasy adventure
follows an immigrant fortune teller who travels between villages telling small fortunes for people
when she runs into a (mostly reformed) thief and an an ex-mercenary searching for his lost daughter, she ends up traveling with them in the hopes she can help, along with a baker they meet along the way,
they encounter various magical creatures and adventurous situations, and eventually she has to face her past
no romance
#The Teller of Small Fortunes#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this was okay#to be honest I didn’t get very attached to any of the characters - I found most of them a bit one dimensional.#(I kept forgetting the cat even existed - why keep mentioning the magical cat in the promo if it’s barely there!!!)#And not feeling much for the characters meant I struggled to feel much about everything else about the story honestly#The exploration of being diaspora in a foreign country & experiences of racism & her relationship with her mother was probably the most#interesting to me.#I always give cozy fantasy a chance but honestly I need it to be deeply introspective or maybe like really funny#it’s just a bit too light for me? (other than the racism and xenophobia - I’m glad to see more of that in this space)#It’s just I think not deeply enough for me - and combined with not feeling attached to the characters I just wasn’t feeling it#Also one of the reasons I picked this up was because I was seeing people say it has an asexual MC and let me just say-#it has a very vaguely AROace CODED mc#If you’re looking for it there’s a few lines of implications but it’s not super clear and also any mention is romance related - aro! not ac#There were SO many instances that would have been an opportunity to bring up aro/aceness and the choice to not do that#felt sightly strange to me?. however tdlr readers could be promoting this on it having no romance and focusing on#friendship/family instead of saying it has an ace MC which is….only there if you squint#no romance#***other than side characters being married and also:#There’s a minor subplot where a side character has a crush on another SC which is unrequited#and there’s a bit of a confrontation after which he backs off. but then it’s implied they might get together in the end :(#which was unnecessary! come on!#I always find fantasy characters inventing real life foods slightly odd but at least this one is more from the author’s culture#anyway. it's okay! just didn't really end up being for me
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chat ya ni sé si me paso los cursos tengo como que 9 proyectos en la misma semana y una tonga de exámenes en diferentes materias si es que me puse a hablar con mis amigas sobre el suicidio aunque tenga tremendo miedo de morir no jodas es que no tengo tiempo para respirar ya no puedo más pasé por esto hace años y ahora termino así solo sáquenme de mi miseria a este punto
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b033adf1713eba635526336d707fc35d/254bd76dc3fe4768-62/s500x750/aa3474258a729a4a23754fe95c77225367cfc329.jpg)
#No quiero volver a arrancarme el pelo por estrés y eso la última vez me quedé pelonga por la parte alante estaba feísima#Y ahora tengo una cantidad de canas desde hace tremendo rato (también por el estrés)#No puedo más chamas es que es demasiado#Pero no puedo salir del programa en el que estoy por qué es demasiado para mí#Es demasiado para todo el mundo y mis amigas. No solo para mí#Y quiero quedarme por que me gustan las clases y los profes pero es que es mucho trabajo#No sé ni por donde comenzar#Antes lo supiera pero es que ya no soy como antes no sé que me pasa#Al menos trabajaba muchísimo antes pero ahora es todo a último minuto porque simplemente no puedo más#Y además mi mami no me deja tranquila siempre me anda diciendo desorganizada y sucia aunque esté completamente bien#No le cuadra nada y me pregunto por qué sigo intentando a impresionarla#Yapping a lot but I can’t w this junk no more#Jealous of old me bc even despite everything she got through the struggles and now I just cower and cry#Yap yapatron but I will post some drawings later. If I don’t. Suddenly hate them.#I could never vent anywhere else but this website. I’m happy it exists <:3#Vent#vent post#Fuck why is the doggie pixelated fuck you ointerest#Sorry for writing in Spanish it just felt more natural to me rn than to speak english
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Does anyone else automatically size themselves up with people their age and look for ways that you’re inferior to them? Just me? Ok….
#the reasons why I think like this are…complicated#honestly a lot to do with the#adhd struggle bus#surprise surprise the neurodevelopmental condition has overarching and very specific effects on my life and how I interact with the world#of course disclaimer that this weird thing I have is not inherent to adhd#but maybe is a way of thinking I developed in part due to it#this is a me thing if anyone else relates to this fine but you don’t have to#I think thi oversharing series is a way for me to microdose journaling#I try to get into journaling but I have way too many thoughts#it’s all or nothing either I write nothing or I spend 3 hours documenting everything thought I had that week#I think a lot of this has to do with my persistent issues with time management#and I’ve tried to hide this struggle in a lot of ways because ngl it’s embarrassing#to the point where I held myself back from doing certain things I wanted to do because ‘hmm could you handle it though you’re already#struggling to manage in school with the bare minimum. maybe you just suck’#and this is probably because I went to a college prep school so yeah#there were 14 year olds taking multivariable calculus and people with various talents#to say that I was intimidated would be an understatement. it’s strange because while in middle school my self esteem was decent it dropped#in high school like how stock prices dropped in the beginning of Covid#even though I was like an ok kid I somehow convinced myself that I was dumb and inept#all because I struggled with one area in my life#honestly I’m not sure if I can paint a clear picture of this time. for one#memories are complex. but I do remember feeling that way and needing a lot of support to be hyped up#fuck#I’m now remembering how my aunt used to be that person. she was my cheerleader growing up and practically raised me in childhood#she passed away from cancer right when I turned 15#shit I’m crying now#during this time in my life I needed a lot of reassurance since I took any small failure as a sign from the universe that I was indeed inept#it was her and my middle school friend who used to rant to me about dragon ball and pewdiepie that hyped me up#my parents were a mixed bag. unfortunately they too sorta overreacted to things like getting a B in math. they used to make me feel like#uchiha-gaeshi overshares
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I wish I could find women around me that want children so bad but struggle with their infertility#I find a lot of women on YouTube who are like ‘you’re not alone. I’m with you Mama. your miracle will come’#which does make me feel good and makes me feel less alone#but I wish they were near me too#but I also wish that I wasn’t so afraid of being vulnerable like that with other women who struggle with the same thing#someone there to hold me while I wail on the bathroom floor over the twenty fifth negative pregnancy test#that would’ve been my mom yannow?#I don’t know if I’ll allow myself to let someone else be in that moment with me#just cuz I’m so tired of feeling weak#but a women who knows every emotion I’m going through in that moment#because she’s lived it too…I think that would be nice…at least a little.#I feel like I’m running in circles over and over and over#I can daydream about fake kids with Katsu and Eiji and Ume my whole life#but will it ever be enough?#Ido if I can keep doing this Ollie…#I’m sorry I failed you. I’m just so tired. so so tired.#I’m tired of everything really. I’m tired of fighting and fixing and living and surviving and ‘just getting through it’#god….god I’m so tired.
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
once told somebody that I don’t think I could ever live on my own because of my autism and they said “don’t say that! I bet you could do it!” like. no I’m telling you I am not the kind of autistic person that can live alone. I will forget to feed myself and drink water and my space would constantly be a disaster and I wouldn’t go around people hardly ever and I’d forget basic hygiene.
I’m so lucky to have a partner who helps me with self care like this through assistance and reminders because otherwise I’d be totally fucked.
#‘you should just know you need to do these things’#I know. I know they need done.#but my disability makes it difficult for me to do these things bc I get distracted or forget or don’t want to transition activities#I wish we didn’t demonize needing help from others#for the longest time I felt guilty about needing so much assistance from my partner to succeed in day to day functions#but I’m disabled. and he helps me when it causes me difficulty. I hate this idea that we have to be fully capable of doing everything#and if we struggle with anything or rely on anyone else for help we’re bad people or manipulative partners or something#needing help isn’t a crime.#autism#actually autistic adult#actually autistic#autistic adult#ASD#autism spectrum disorder
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
3 days post-op myomectomy and I’m so ready to do something other than sleep.
#I’m too impatient for recovery#I’m walking just fine#but everything else is a struggle#getting in bed specifically sucks#laparoscopic myomectomy#myomectomy
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want I’m just gonna vent a minute#it’s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestly… I’m not#I’m fucking struggling#it’s just so complex n confusing & I’m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably don’t think it’s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know it’s probably not easy to tell I’m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly it’s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just don’t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ‘hope you’re okay’ or ‘thinking of you’ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isn’t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc it’s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope you’re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ❤️❤️❤️#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I actually think doing a huge fucking research paper at the end of EVERY masters program is kinda bullshit bc I went into this job because I’m BAD at numbers and statistics (as much as I fucking enjoy them) and to suddenly be like “hEY you’ve never had to work with data since high school but if you want a degree you have to do research and write 50 pages about it” is like ?????? WHAT
#hi can you tell I’m struggling w analyzing my data#like this paper is so so fucking bad yall let’s hope my 4.0 in everything else can save me#thesis is due on Saturday and oral defense is the next weekend
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
when I give up on fully drawing Strive so my boy despawns for a solid 6 frames
(don’t mind the animation rant in the tags that I may continue on a later date)
#twrp#starlight brigade#almost there >:D#What I have so far is straight ahead so the hair isn’t as flowy as it should be but hey surprisingly everything else is#I’ve been eyeballing everything frame by frame but the later frames take their time so I’ll be keyframing it#And then inbetween like a normal person. Struggling on drawing 20 unfortunately T~T#Trivia nugget to my fellow animators if your out there: The frame rate varies from being on 2s 3s and the occasional 4s#Only one frame stays on 1s so this whole shot most closely resembles 8fps. The original shot#(When including the blank start and end frames) lasts 5-7 seconds but there are only 29 unique frames#WHICH BREAKS MY WESTERN (disney) ANIMATION BRAIN BECAUSE HOW TF IS IT THAT SMOOTH??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#Usually what’s expected of a smooth shot is a lot of frames but mother flipping India Swift has such an understanding of timing and spacing#That with the power of a measly 29 frames created ONE OF THE BEST 5-7 seconds of animation I have ever seen‼️‼️#Am now considering to expand on my “:0” moment but I’m to far in the tags and still haven’t finished animating#Oh one last thing. Ghosta-r if ye are reading. Give me a week of recovering from school and I’ll animate some panels from your slb comics>:#I’ve been wanting to do it for like a year now but was either tired or busy. But now the universe has given me time and I choose to abuse i
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
sigh
#got news today that everything is changing with my job#all in all it’s fine and i’m beyond delighted this opens up many opportunities for me#but… it means that i have to move on from a brand i helped build#and that’s… really sad#i wanted to grow with it#but unfortunately it couldn’t work out that way#idk this on top of everything else going on i just feel isolated and lonely and just overwhelmingly sad#i’m trying really hard to be ok with all this change but i’m struggling#meg.txt
4 notes
·
View notes