#and even that is causing me pain
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beginning to realize im apparently the only one who understands the character
#shaking and quaking with rage im fighting for my life defending magneto from the romy shippers#and please understand i am THEE gambit fan#also my battle is literally just me thinking “hm. you are incorrect” and closing the app#and even that is causing me pain#don't even get me started on the atlas like effort im putting in to defending rogue#she witnessed an entire genocide and lost both boy toys in one day shes allowed to throw a guy off a roof
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🐙❤️
#may my future riddle and azul book 6 battles be easy and not cause me mental pain#happy new years my children#we made it wooo#🥳🎉🎉🎉👏🎊#time to spend my new years taking a nap#goodnight my loves ❤️#kisses all around#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#azul ashengrotto#azul has contacts in okay I don’t wanna hear it#ID ONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW GLASSESS#also don’t even question the tentacles bc even idk where they’re coming for#I meant from sad face#we’ll say it’s magic#why are the emojis so bi gtf
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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boy why you so legs
#i dont even fully understand why i even draw him so much. hes like 4th place in the strawhats for me#its just that hes so fun for posing and simple scribbles cause his designs so simple. just one big dynamic line bc of the silhouette#even if his hair is a pain in the ass. but i think im getting the hang of it#i liked when in fishman island they gave him a little fluffy cardigan sweater for a second that was cute#too bad that was when chopper euthanized him. havent seen sanji since... what a shame#wtf... art#one piece fanart#sanji#black leg sanji
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I hate,especially in the pjo fandom, when people cut characters down to 1 trait. Sometimes it's a trait that isn't even one they have!
Like Percy, Will and Leo being seen as dumb erks me to no end. Especially Leo.
I know they're incorrect quotes but I saw one where they used the "7x7" "stuff she knows!" audio with leo and I'm just-
He knew collage level math at 8!!! What you mean he wouldn't know 7x7.
He could probably recite 100+ digits of pi. He built a whole ship!!
Same with Percy and Will. Like Percy is not dumb, he's just someone who thinks on his feet and isn't book smart like Annabeth.
Will runs an infirmary and cabin by himself by 13. He immediately finds a way to check on Nico's condition and chides him for risking his health. He's working with no weapon as a field medic, he has to be smart enough to avoid attacks.
Nico isn't just the emo sad kid. He is quick to make friends with those people tend to be wary of. He's just getting use to people again after being on his own for so long.
Jason isn't just some boring/ lesser version of Percy. He has a detailed past and motives even without most of his memories.
Michael isn't just attitude and starting fights. The only fellow camper he actually fights with is Clarisse and he's pretty chill for the rest of the book other then just being sassy sometimes. He's usually just matching energy.
Stolls aren't all stupid either, they were 12-13 when they became hcs of the largest cabin at a camp. A cabin, mind you, that was recently ran by a 19-almost 20 year old. They're poster children for younger siblings suddenly forced to mature.
Maybe it's just me and my love for psychoanalyizing characters, but really like most people forget how 3 dimensional these characters are.
Do not get me started on characters like Drew and Octavian or how many of y'all forget Annabeth(and every demigod other than frank) also is dyslexic and not just the ones the fandom deems as "dumb".
#mine#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pain rambles#percy jackson#annabeth chase#leo valdez#jason grace#nico di angelo#the stoll brothers#travis stoll#connor stoll#seriously tho#you're telling me there was no one who was older than them?#or did everyone else not want to take the mantle cause of Luke leaving?#if so that's even more messed up#their oldest brother betrays them than their other older siblings refuse to step up and leave them to deal with the mess?#think they deserve a lil hyjinks for that
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Consider this: ghosts are actually exactly what the Fentons think they are.
They're snapshots of a longing so strong, unfinished business so deep it reaches out beyond life. Lingers just a bit longer. And if it happens to meet a dense cloud of ectoplasm (invisible to the naked eye, but omnipresent even in the mortal realm), it coalesces. The ectoplasm fits into the shape of it. Which, when the desire is strong enough, it's got a rough idea of its self-image. This tends to mean a more humanoid figure, though it's more often warped in some way��a self-reflection, skewed by said desire. The warping varies on the dead soul’s perception of themselves, the intensity of their desire, how much time passed after death, and how much ectoplasm was present.
In short… no matter how “normal" a ghost looks or acts, it really, truly isn't human. It's animated ectoplasm with a single goal: an obsession. Nothing else. They're more akin to plants than animals, following a single drive with no emotion. They react to stimuli, recognize threats (including other ghosts), and can even imitate human speech and mannerisms to obtain fulfillment of their obsession.
Not “evil" by any stretch, but they're entirely driven by instinct. A tree doesn't pause to consider the rocks it breaks with its roots. A cordyceps doesn't torture its host for fun, or kill with malice. It just does. It follows code in its DNA to survive and multiply–And ghosts just follow the code in its ectoplasm to fulfill its obsession. The more powerful a ghost, the better it's able to overcome obstacles preventing this–whether through brute force, or manipulation. This power is always directly proportional to the amount of ectoplasm present at the time of formation, and how much time passed since death.
What then, does this mean for Danny? Danny, who's previously come to the conclusion that he's only half-ghost, which surely explains how he retained his mind? His independent thoughts and emotions?
What does this mean for Phantom, who experienced an entire world’s worth of ectoplasm condensed as a singularity, at the exact time of his death? Whose strength only grows and begins to exceed every limit they previously thought possible?
If a ghost was as strong as him… could it mimic a human perfectly? Down to a molecular level?
Could it, in its desire to fill an obsession… trick its own fake mind into thinking it was still human? Or half-ghost?
#Danny Phantom#zilly squeaks#it's the greyed out morality for me dude#on one hand it shows how dangerous ghosts are. how you can't reason with them. how they aren't *people*#and yet. you can still find ways to work with them. there's reason to show them mercy when possible#even if it's not really 'pain' it still cries out and bleeds when struck#i just love this kind of angle where there's a solid reason to find co-existence but also like#knowing full well these creatures are more or less. potentially deadly trees. do u feel me#when does sentience bloom from code?#what caused our ancestors to become sapient?#Danny getting Real Fucked Up about possibly being a full ghost who's just really good at pretending to be human#when really... does it even matter?#(for double the pain: add headcanon that ghosts feed off of human life for additional power)
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Oh my god, poverty brain makes big purchases so freakin scary. I know I need a laptop. I will have tons of downtime at work and I can't cart my three monitor gaming PC into work on slow days. So I need a laptop. I had some help picking a really good one and it's gonna do the stuff I need. But it's still such a big chunk of money. *Sweats* I have done it. But it was hard.
Luckily it sounds like my accommodation is getting reviewed for real this time and I should have more freetime at the small store and on my days off to take commissions again! I can also resume working on my comics as I've got a tablet going spare that I can take with, so all that is very exciting.
#the prospect of having spoons to create and time to do so is alleviating some of the Big Purchase feelings#the last time I was making big money I still really struggled to buy stuff even when I needed it#and one time my beloved took me shopping for clothes and I racked up like a $500 bill because it was all way nicer than I've ever considere#and I literally couldn't pay. I was like I want these clothes and I have the money but it's so painful so my beloved took my wallet#and shooed me away and the worker was kinda laughing cause I know it was ridiculous but I was so anxious#ramblies
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what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?
it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".
i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.
the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.
it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.
tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.
#ramble#ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared#this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops#sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news#i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION#because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans#so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong#i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong'#but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't#especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything#i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people#all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain#i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused#nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns#anyway this was long. that's the story
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cool bug The Queen is cool too, but I'm more the King lover
Liked more without color. Was hard to find good refs and understand his every detail. At the start I want to draw canonical and perfect but usually I mess up with details and feel sad after realization of my strange vision and inattention, and it will be not alive but then I got too tired and confused, and designed him an ass and heels. He's a king after all
#I don't want to say how much mental pain this man causes to me and my fireteam. And we didn't even get to him#destiny 2#destiny 2 art#oryx the taken king#monster#lodium stuff
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So if you loved me so much Why'd you go?
#gang i'm in my soft blue era now if u even care x#this...is so long... and big...what a shame#this song has circled around my brain for weeks i hope it causes u an ounce of the pain it has caused me#once again too many ideas no direction but push on none the less its part of my brand now i think#good omens#good omens gifs#good omens 2#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#crowley#aziraphale#crowley x aziraphale#usersugar#tsusermels#userrlorelei#my gifs
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.
I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)
Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.
Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.
The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.
Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.
Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.
Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.
.
#imagine if Vaschete but CATS and REVERSED -> Butter knife ;_; and Flamengo <3#this ask is from last year and I'm sorry I've allowed it sit in my inbox for so long ´m`#but I've been thinking about it intermittedly#the context was that someone said that somewhere out there existed my mortal enemy (felis atra = black/dark cat)#and they had frenzied cat ocs instead of melancholic dogs#first of all they both look so darling I'm getting radiation poisoning just from looking at them aaaaaa#and the fact you put so much thought and effort into this concept is making me go absolutely rabid#extremely strange seeing Machete with big pupils and Vasco with tiny pinpoints#Butter knife purring like a fluffy jackhammer is instant serotonin I love him#and yes if you turned Machete to a cat he'd probably be something resembling an oriental shorthair#especially one of those really exaggerated ones with giant bat ears and roman nose#and I keep visualizing Vasco as a scottish fold as well but it's kind of giving me sad bad feels personally#I can't look past their painful and debilitating health issues#the same mutation that causes the floppy ears also destroys the cartilage in their joints#it's such a shame because they're a terribly cute and charming breed#and in this case they really do have those similar rounded friendly shapes that Vasco does#if I ever draw them as cats myself I'll probably have to think of some other breed for him even though it would be such a perfect fit#also I think it's funny how you can swap everything else but Machete's heels have to stay :'> don't separate the crinkle and his boots#thank you so much! this was such a cool ask to receive I love how you designed their cat forms#gift art#dingergum#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Vaschete scenarios
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it is quite funny to me as someone who studies philosophy and has had to have the conversations that bh and ludinus have been having many times over and often with people who like ludinus do not have any reading comprehension and truly like. the notion of “this shouldn’t exist” is almost always one that comes up regardless of whether it’s a discussion on the metaphysics of a potential God(s) or divinity, high political powers, or vehicles of systemic oppression. and what anyone who cares about people more than their ideals (even, sometimes, ideals that started out being about people but quickly come to be about the ideals themselves) realizes very quickly in a philosophical discussion about what should and shouldn’t exist is that it does not matter if what you’ve decided ��shouldn’t’ exist does in fact already exist. like that tends to be the difference between sociopolitical philosophy that actually has teeth and substance in the world — a willingness to engage with the world as it is, not as it should be. because you can have the perfect image of a just and wonderful future world, but if you do not at every step reckon with the unjust world from which you are aiming at that future, you’re doing nothing. ideals are helpful because they aim us toward goals and hopes, but they’re nothing without a reality that grounds them.
and so people like ludinus, who in the real world would play the role of a graduate student with critical thinking skills that make every professor he comes across question how he arrived at his level of study, they don’t have Wrong ideals, there’s obviously plenty of reasons why an exandria without gods might in fact be a better place for mortals (there are also many Many reasons why it would not). but ludinus has also chosen his ideals to weigh heavier than the mortals he claims to uphold them with. i think ashton is also interesting, because i think a lot of their positions have a fun fluctuation between being ideal focused and person focused, where sometimes they’re focused on how unfair life is in a very nihilistic position, and at other times they seem quite clear about how much ideals help no one if they’re not second to the desire to help others. and i think that made their role in the convo with ludinus in 102 especially interesting and irritating (but in a narratively fulfilling way). anyway, truly so fun watching ludinus argue with the amount of fallacies and undeserved confidence of like right wing first year students in an ethics class explaining how actually the ends justify the means and thanos had the right idea actually if it means no more starvation. get a grip old man.
#ludinus da'leth#cr3#critical role#cr spoilers#ashton greymoore#i don’t think ludinus is neat at all i think he’s fucking dumb as bricks and not even in an fun way#i do think he prompts interesting dynamics in the party though so he’s extremely valuable in the narrative#but like . ludinus is truly emblematic of exactly what brennan was talkin about when he was referencing#ursula k le guin and talking about how evil is often simple and good is endlessly complex#it is Easy. (which is not to say unwarranted) to look at your own pain and say Burn Down Everything That Caused It And Threatens to Do So#And Burn Everything If It Allows Me To Protect Myself From Being Harmed Ever Again#which is. both ludinus and most of the betrayers#it is much much harder to feel the desire to burn everything and still find something worth fighting for anyway . even if it’s just the#hope that you won’t have to burn everything .
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Maybe I'm a masochist, a sadist, or both, but I have to say it... we were robbed of a real reaction shot of Charles hearing Edwin screaming from Esther's device.
The one time it cuts back to Charles struggling, Edwin has temporarily stopped screaming. Then the girls show up and keep Esther busy, so he's not screaming for a significant amount of time. Charles is getting his bag and picking the lock during that time. When Esther restarts the device again at a higher level, Charles is dropping down into the snake pit.
We never actually see Charles hearing him even though he definitely could. Niko and Crystal could hear his screams from outside.
If they were going to emphasize that Charles was completely helpless and unable to do anything to rescue Edwin, and then make us listen to his agony, the least they could've done was give us that reaction as compensation for the devastation they unleashed on us.
(ko-fi)
#does this make me a masochist?#cause it would hurt my heart?#does this make me a sadist?#cause i want to see them suffer?#who the hell even knows#but if you're going to make protectiveness one of the main qualities of their relationship#you gotta go all in on how destroying it is for one to see or hear the other in pain#their name is payneland for a reason#they gotta live up to it lmfao#when their partner being in pain hurts them more than their own injuries do#you know it's the good shit#dead boy detectives#rambles: dead boy detectives#the case of the hungry snake#charles rowland#jayden revri#payneland
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"I don't want things to change."
MIKE WHEELER & WILL BYERS IN S03E08 - The Battle of Starcourt
#byler#plot twist: not even one episode later...they did change. And its all Mike 'Panic!at the Airport' Wheeler's fault LMAOOOO#I have no reason for this other than to cause myself pain lmao. BUT ALSO: LET THEM HUG (PROPERLY) AGAIN J F C#mike wheeler#will byers#my gifs#byleredit#bylerdaily#dailystrangerthings#strangerthingsedit#strangersource#tvstrangerthings#strangerthingscentral#tuserrae#stranger things#the me tag#tuseremilia#userelz#tusermaddy
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deleting this in 24 hours
#for some reason i struggled so hard on the hands. the hands caused me more pain than the strike to my dignity. and they didnt even turn out#that good.#phighting#skateshot phighting#skateshot#im not tagging allat
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