#and dont EVEN get me started on dean

[trykzt3r]

im so normal about destiel. really, i am. its just that i cant stop thinking about how castiel, an angel of the lord, something that couldnt-shouldnt-be able to feel love, pain, or sorrow was able to feel all of it because of dean. cant stop thinking about how he threw literal millennias of being a primordial being of light for a human. i cant stop thinking about how, out of every version in every universe that chuck created, he was the only one to rebel. because of dean. and i definitely cannot stop thinking about how his happiest moment, his doom, was to just. tell dean he loved him. not even getting an i love you back, he was just happy with telling him. really, i am so normal. i think about this a normal amount, actually.

[boywonderloverr]

dean winchester thinks he breaks everything he touches. thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved, thinks he's worthless. he can never live up to his own expectations. even crowley knows that nobody hates dean more than dean hates himself. dean loves his baby brother more than anything and he needs him; it's the most selfish part of him and he knows it, but he needs sam. so much that he'll do almost anything to keep sam alive, to keep sam with him. because dean can't stand the thought of living without him. he doesn't deserve to live anyway, in his mind.

[boywifesammy]

holy shit watching ruby manipulate sam in 4x09 is fucking heartbreaking.

this boy just lost his brother half a year ago. he’s drunk 24/7, an emotional wreck, suicidal, driven by anger and guilt, and constantly burdened with the fact that he INDIRECTLY KILLED the most important person in his life who is now BURNING IN HELL.

he just tried to offer his own soul to take dean’s place and was told that it wasn’t worth anything. he spends his nights in abandoned buildings because being in a motel without dean probably hurts too much. he is literally at rock bottom. he’s willing to die to bring dean back. hell, he’s willing to die just to avenge him. he’s in so much damn pain that he’s ACTIVELY trying to kill himself.

and ruby comes onto him? tells him how good she can make him feel, that she can make him feel better, that he just has to trust her. and he says NO. he says, i can’t, and pushes her away not once but TWICE. but ruby just keeps pushing. guilt trips him again. asks him if its so bad because she’s a demon, and sam must think, hell, i’m a demon too, i’m a monster, i killed my own brother, i’m worse than her.

even dean could see that this was manipulation. and sam immediately played the “but it’s okay because she saved my life”. and knowing how their relationship with ruby ends… man it hurts. it really hurts.

sam winchester has had his head fucked with so goddamn often and i don’t know how he even has it on straight anymore.

[jackandclairearesiblings]

SPN season 16 except Sam goes back to school and get shell shocked by the change in atmosphere and vibes

[rickallensbarefeet]

Japan/Steve Jansen appreciation post because I love him. Everybody go listen to their album Adolescent Sex RIGHT NOW

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

[sammygender]

im new here- is dean abusive?

imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.

he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues

[take-it-on-the-run]

Why are 2000-2009 shows infinitely better than most shows?? Gilmore Girls? 2000. NCIS? 2003. Bones, Supernatural? 2005.

[roxy-bat-wolf-pack]

Was anybody else completely freaked by this episode???

Why was season one actually so scary??? On top of that, they did such a good job of making the "bad guys" just as sad as they were terrifying.

Sometimes, I re-watch season one just to try and feel that same level of awe I felt on my first watch through.

[mypeople-skillsarerusty]

Look, I don't know about you guys but when people start talking about their comfort shows and its something really sweet and it's a sit-in-with-a-coffee-lazy-day kind of show and they ask about mine I just kind of freak...like

Them: wbu?

Me: (nervous laughter knowing my comfort show is supernatural and it's the most chaotic, weird ass show ever) ummm... it's this cool show, you probably haven't heard of it...haha

My social skills are non existent, someone help.

[driftwooddestiel]

comment so bad i read it in the jacksfilms your grammar sucks voice

[loveinourowngrave]

the thing is. i’m a proponent of samdean starting precanon. not always but in a lot of contexts i like it. it just makes so much SENSE. the reason they act Like That in the first episode. deans constant nostalgiaing about wanting things to go back to the Way They Were Before. two teenagers kept continually isolated from the world (in terms of being unable to build lasting connections) sharing a room in a motel their whole life their only model a guy who’s excellent at blurring lines. but their age gap is 4 years that’s a lot for teenagers. immediate insane power imbalance. icl in any form of weecest sam is a victim on some level no matter how you spin it

[widevibratobitch]

im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

[bisaster-energy]

okay what you have to understand is that while against the kitchen floor is a dean song...willard! has cas written all over it

[boldlyvoid]

just said this in the comments of a friends post but i need to post it here too.

dean winchester is a fearless/speak now girlie because his life is a battle and he wishes it was a fairytale instead

[spn2006]

in lieu of watching the last two episodes of season five (i've been watching spn on dvd with a friend of mine so i don't want to watch it without them while were on winter break) i watched a couple episodes of season seven that weren't plot important and jesus christ, yall weren't kidding about supernatural going downhill after season five. it was all just completely devoid of the love and warmth you find in the earlier seasons?? where even when things are devastating, theyre devastating for an actual reason, not just needless shock value. in one episode dean kills a woman bc she's a kitsune right before her young son walks in and sees her dead body, and he threatens to kill the kid too?? what the fuck was that?? obviously dean has always been the "kill the freaks instead of empathising with them" kind of guy, but that just crosses a line. he had zero remorse or emotion the whole time. that doesn't make any sense. the whole thing was so fucked up that it became stupid.

it just frustrates me so much because there is something so special and beautiful about supernatural when it was good--there was horror, there was violence, there was gore, but it almost always meant something more than just what it was. i think about how emotionally devastating it was to watch an episode like heart or metamorphosis which both have the same type of sympathetic monster plot, and its easy to see when that trope is done well and when it isn't. these season seven episodes don't even feel like supernatural to me, they feel like some asshole's supernatural fanfiction that got turned into a tv show. shit sucks so bad