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memes-saved-me · 4 years ago

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Billy Hargrove and implied Queerness

First off this is focusing on his scenes without Steve because we've all seen those and....they're pretty homoerotic to say the least so I will be bringing your attention to the other factors which lead people to believe Billy is gay or interested in men and not so much women. This isn't very indepth but more surface level observations I've made and seen others make.

(TW: Homophobia and slurs discussed)

Season 2

The first scene we get of Billy he is instantly sexualised by those around him. Tina and Vicki taking interest in him based on his looks while Carol watches on rather unamused. This sets a trend for his character and his relationship with his looks and body, but more importantly how he uses it to his own advantage. Of course this was done to play into the 80s bad boy who all the high school girls fall for but what I'll explain later makes it much more interesting.

The next we see of Billy is with Max on their way home. During this scene he insults the looks of the high school girls, referring to them as cows. We then get a very interesting line "Yeah, we're stuck here and who's fault is that?" Which Max replies to with "Yours."

A response that instantly angers Billy to the point he demands she take responsibility for moving to Hawkins. A topic that has clearly been discussed before because Max's reaction implies this has happened before if not multiple times.

In Runaway Max, which isn't confirmed canon and contradicts a lot of stuff but, we are told that the reason they moved was because Billy was completely off the rails to the point he broke her friends arm. Now. Does that make sense in blaming who's fault the move was? If this is the case it is obviously Billy's fault so why does he keep saying it was her who caused this? She clearly liked being in California so why would she do something to make them move. Unless it was unintentional...

This heavily implies that there is an unspoken incident which involves them both. An incident which triggers such anger and recklessness in Billy to the point he almost runs over Mike, Lucas and Dustin because Max wouldn't say it was her fault. Many have then filled in this gap with Max accidentally telling either Neil or Susan about Billy and another boy, which would make sense with the information or lack of information we are given in canon about the reason they moved.

While at Tina's Halloween party we do not see Billy interact with a single girl. He is seen with Tommy and another boy who then approach Steve with him. It would make sense for girls to be drooling over him in this moment, trying to dance with him or following him inside but no. He makes a beeline for Steve and we do not see him for the rest of the party.

Now, I don't know about you but have you ever seen a teenage boy look less interested in his date? Not only is he not interacting with verbally but also physically. He then gets angry when she calls Max his sister and they drive off without a word. It's implied he is taking her home as he they were waiting for Max, meaning he was probably going to hook up with her but if he was wouldn't he act just a little nicer towards her?

I mentioned before that he is the archetype for 80s bad boy and the girls sure are falling, he just isn't catching them. This is the only time we see him interact with a women his age in a romantic way. If you could call this romantic at all.

When in trouble for letting Max run off while watching her, his response is that he doesn't have the time to go looking for her because he has a date, a date we never see or get the name of, this prompts his father to say the line "So that's why you've been staring at yourself in the mirror like some faggot..."

A line that then prompts Billy to snap and argue back after clearly wanting to get out of this situation as fast and smoothly as possible. Where else have we seen anger brought on by a topic? That's right in the car with Max. There is a trend of Billy reacting with anger to conversations or comments he finds personal or as some sort of attack. This is also when Neil becomes fully angry with Billy as seen in his rather shocked reaction at his response to that line.

This also continues the trend of Billy caring about his looks and using them as a shield of sorts, a shield that doesn't work against his father but everyone else he encounters.

Something to keep in mind, Billy is the only character to be called a homophobic slur by a parental figure other than Will. The character he mirrors in multiple ways including having the same full name William, as well as Will being heavily implied as gay or queer. Both of their father's use homophobic language against them, unlike any of the other characters in the show.

The next we see of him after the incident with Neil is also when we see him interacting with another women in a romantic sense. Karen. This is where his use of his looks and body fully come into play. He uses these assets to get information and affection out of Karen to make his father happy and avoid further punishment.

Now this is my own interpretation but Billy is used to using his body for positive attention and doesn't get that any other way. At no point in the series is he treated like a person other than in S3 by Max and Max only. Everyone else views him in an objectified manner or as a bad guy to avoid.

There is a clear resemblance between Karen and Billy's mother which I'll further discuss in the season 3 section but this leads me to believe he is subconsciously or even consciously wanting positive attention from a motherly figure, he just doesn't know any other way to achieve that.

However, it is very clear that flirting with Karen was an act as seen by the quite jarring juxtaposition of these two frames. The mask fully gone once by himself again. Meaning the only time we see him flirt with a women it isn't genuine at all.

Season 3

Now, continuing off the last point, there is countless girls practically drooling over Billy at the pool but he only accepts this attention from Karen. This exemplifies my theory that he doesn't know how to gain positive affection other than through flirting and well sex, but he only wants this attention from an older women who resembles his mother. Except, again he doesn't know any other way of gaining it. He hasn't had a strong positive female influence in his life since he was 10 years old and by the looks of it every motherly figure has treated him as eye candy and not a teenager crying for help.

He has Heather who is very much his age and flirts with him. Yet, he acts as if she isn't even there and goes straight over to Karen to flirt. The way he acts with Karen should be the way he would act with girls his age, flirting and making advances but we do not see a single example of this.

This part I find extremely interesting because it perfectly mirrors his interaction with Karen in season 2, except instead of dropping the mask he puts it on. The way he looks to his right as if she is sitting there as he practices what he is going to say to her is a clear example of his act coming into play as he prepares to meet up with her. His expression very similar to when he leaves the Wheeler home but it shifts to practice the way he is planning on talking to Karen. A complete reversal from their scene in season 2.

A rather reaching piece of symbolism could be that this also mirrors the way Neil cuts off Billy's date in season 2 as the Mindflayer is a literal representation of him being controlled by his father.

I also find it very interesting that he chooses to flirt with Karen very publicly and this might be reading a little too into it but it comes off as trying to uphold some sort of image. Another example of this is Max saying she hears Billy with girls in his room, something that sure is something he would do but when you put this with everything in this post it also comes off as him trying to prove something.

Another thing I find interesting is the way he acts around Karen, all smiles and friendly is very similar to that of the way he acts at dinner with Heather's parents. An act put on by the Mindflayer, just as he does when flirting with Karen. A mask used for underlying means and not what it shows on the surface.

Conclusion

This is all just my observation and he is not canonically gay or queer but the way he acts around women compared to Steve is a very interesting aspect to his character. If they truly intended for him to be this bad boy ladies man then they failed at presenting that.

One final thing, which I have posted about before is the fact Billy does not use homophobic language towards anyone. Even Steve does in season 1 so it would make sense for a teenage boy trying to upstage another teenage boy to use slurs and such to belittle and bully him. Except he doesn't.

I could write a full dissertation on Billy's implied queerness but a unorganised Tumblr post will have to do. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#billy hargrove #harringrove #theory #not tagging anything else because I cba with antis #this is not canon #so don't attack me #it is just a theory analysis #thank you

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it-fits-i-ships · 3 years ago

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Combing through every single episode of Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous for Yasammy moments to write meta analysis about part 2 (parts 1, 3, and 4)

After Yaz breaks her ankle we have this moment of Sammy expressing her gratitude and admiration, Sammy wants to let Yaz know she sees how strong, brave, and deeply caring Yaz is but, as Brooklyn points out, Yaz isn’t in a place to hear her and needs time and space to process her feelings about Sammy’s secret double life as a spy, she goes into self-defense mode and pushes Sammy away again Just as a side note, I find it really interesting how Brooklyn reaches out to Sammy to give her advice about Yaz, Brooklyn is the one who caught Sammy spying and it’s Brooklyn’s phone that Sammy stole and accidentally broke so I think it’s very cool of Brooklyn to step in because she can see that Sammy is hurting over her fallout with Yaz and is in desperate need of a supportive friend Sammy definitely backs off trying to talk to Yaz but continues to show her care and concern in little ways like asking the group if there is another way to get to the dock besides going on foot so Yaz doesn’t hurt herself more, on the monorail when Ben gets carried off by Pteranodons and they assume that he’s dead it hits all of them really hard, Sammy starts to panic and Yaz forgets for a moment that she’s supposed to be mad and instinctively comforts her before remembering all of their circumstances, Sammy can’t help herself when she sees Yaz fall as they’re running for the dock after the group has to abandon the monorail and rushes over to check on her, Yaz is clearly still angry and refuses Sammy’s help, but by the time they actually reach the dock we can see that Yaz has realized she really does need Sammy’s help and support (both physically and for emotionally) and that there are worse things that could happen than Sammy telling some lies for her family’s sake, at this point we can see that Yaz has decided to work on forgiving Sammy and trusting her again because she initiates contact with her by casually placing her elbow on Sammy’s shoulder at the dock This trend of re-establishing their bond continues as the show enters season 2, in which the group is still stuck on the island and has to find the emergency beacon, we can see Yaz and Sammy huddling together for comfort and to keep each other safe when they have to hide behind a fallen tree from some dinosaurs, we also see Yaz lean on Sammy and give a relieved sigh once Darius gives the all-clear and she stays there for a while, when Yaz accidentally brings up Ben we can see that she’s still processing how much his apparent death has affected her and the rest of the group, Yaz is now clinging to Sammy not because she is afraid Sammy will stop liking her or talking to her like she was in season 1 but because she needs the positivity, support, and encouragement that Sammy brings to her life in order to help her through all of the emotional turmoil that being on the island is putting her through Also, Sammy helping Yaz up, helping her walk, and otherwise supporting her in any way she can is just so sweet, I know Sammy is a very positive and helpful person and she does what she can for everyone in the group but she has always gone above and beyond when it comes to Yaz, she even convinces Yaz to stay at camp and rest while she, Brooklyn, and Darius go look for supplies (with such a gentle tone and soft expression that Yaz has no choice but to embrace the love and care that Sammy is putting out there), Yaz clearly wants Sammy to stay with her but I think Sammy realizes that it’s not good for Yaz to only depend on her so she gives Yaz a warm smile before she goes but she still leaves with the others so Yaz can grow and Sammy can contribute to the whole group, this sets up the beginnings of a much healthier dynamic between Yaz and Sammy in which they can have their own lives and friendships outside of each other Yaz has clearly forgiven Sammy at this point as we don’t see any kind of bitterness in their interactions at all and after the group makes their tree fort and they have some time to rest and relax away from the pressures of constantly running from dinosaurs I think Yaz really starts to

process her deeper feelings for Sammy, she wants to spend more time with Sammy and get even closer, we can see how eager she is to join Brooklyn and Sammy on their venture out into the jungle to locate the weird frozen flower patch that Brooklyn stumbled upon a while back, Yaz definitely strikes me as the type of person who has never been in love before so with everything else going on (and with her mind full of much stronger fears of losing the others in the group, especially Sammy, which I will talk about more later in this post series) her feelings are bound to manifest strongly We can see that Yaz is now actively playing that question game with Sammy, getting to know her better, and exchanging witty banter back and forth, obviously Yaz cares about all of the people in the group on some level or she wouldn’t have been so upset when they thought Ben died but notice how she is much more interested in talking to and learning about Sammy than she is in talking to and learning about Brooklyn, however she does try her best to loop Brooklyn into the conversation once Sammy cues her to Can we just take a second to appreciate the silent conversations that Yaz and Sammy have? I’m a sucker for some good non-verbal communication because it means that the characters are very close and feel connected with each other, there’s also the fact that since Yaz wants to be around her again Sammy spends so much time making physical contact with her, touch is clearly one of Sammy’s main love languages Yaz goes to help Sammy when the gun case falls on her only to be stopped by Tiff (who tries to prevent Yaz from running away to get help) and Sammy tackles Tiff to the ground to get her to let go of Yaz, honestly I know that Sammy realizes that Yaz getting free is their best chance of getting the help they need but I think it’s really telling that she went so hard, Yaz is clearly her favorite person on the island and Sammy isn’t about to let Tiff hurt her, I also find it really telling that when Yaz sees Sammy and Darius on the security camera monitors she looks relieved and excited and then we get a set of shots that imply she’s looking just at Sammy, this is followed by such a soft, warm, loving expression from Yaz that it melts my gay heart, and of course she’s incredibly concerned when she sees Tiff and Mitch approaching During their organized stampede, Yaz has to abandon the Jeep and, without hesitation, she leaps from the car into Sammy’s waiting arms, this is a mark of a great amount of character growth for Yaz because she not only trusts Sammy now but literally trusts her with her life, we also get an adorable moment when they are dismounting in which Sammy helps Yaz get down and holds both of her hands, when they all go in for a group hug we see Yaz place her hand on Sammy’s waist (as I mentioned in part 1 of this post series, that seems like an unusually place to put your hand on a friend and neither Sammy nor Yaz do that with anyone else in the group), when Sammy is listing her favorite people in the group as she and Kenji are hanging out in their gondola she mentions Yaz first while in Yaz's own gondola she is visibly longing to be over with Sammy (especially seeing how much fun Sammy and Kenji are having pushing on the sides of the gondola) instead of having to face Brooklyn and the fact that they are not close at all, just like when Sammy left Yaz with Kenji this feels almost like a deliberate move on Sammy’s part to get Yaz out of her comfort zone and forming closer bonds with the others (though I think it’s also an excuse for Sammy to spend some quality time with Kenji who definitely seems like he’s become a brother figure) We also get this moment a jealousy in which Yaz seems a little salty that Sammy is hanging out with Kenji (though on the surface it is about how they are messing around instead of helping, Yaz’s comment is definitely tinged with jealousy), this feels very much like the reaction of someone who has romantic feelings but doesn’t have the experience to properly interpret them and who has not been able to

talk about them or put a name to them, she clearly wants a closer relationship with Sammy but Yaz is unable to thoroughly define the relationship she wants which leaves her feeling like her needs aren’t being met in situations like this, in that sense she has fallen into a bit more of an insecure attachment again, she feels threatened by Sammy’s other friendships because she and Sammy haven’t differentiated their relationship from that of the friendships they have with the others I would just like to point out the lingering hug they share in which Yaz is clearly nuzzling Sammy’s neck and the fact that Yaz goes over to stand next to Sammy when she moves to hug Brooklyn, there’s no heterosexual explanation for that, or the way Yaz holds and comforts Sammy after pulling away from that dinosaur (if you look closely you can see Yaz rubbing Sammy’s arm with her thumb) And the scene where Yaz explains that Bumpy likes her so much because she keeps snacks in her pockets and then shares some of the snacks so Sammy can feed her too? Absolutely precious, we love to see Yaz being so soft with Sammy, like the way she calls out to her when part of the group goes to search Kenji’s dad’s penthouse for gas to put in the boat, or the way Yaz checks on Sammy while Ben’s siphoning gas from the limos in the penthouse’s garage, it’s clear here that Yaz also wants Sammy to be able to rely on her sometimes, to confide in her, Yaz doesn’t have time to respond in that moment because of yet another dinosaur attack (I also think that she was having a hard time responding because on some level Yaz is also afraid to go home) but the fact that she asked in the first place shows a lot of character and relationship growth, she even goes to check on Sammy later once they’re back on the boat, Sammy does the talking then and uses Yaz more as a sounding board but the gentle smile Yaz gives when Sammy walks away with the solution to her problem is absolutely priceless

#jwcc #yasammy #longpost

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starlightshore · 4 years ago

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hi sorry if this seems a little rude, if chara isn't really bad, then why do they kill them on the soulless route?

(I always wanted to know about it)

(not rude at all! feel free to ask questions like this its no skin off my back) which “them” are you referring to? that could mean different things like: the underground, the player, Frisk ect. its a little vague)

but I’ll try to answer this with the above being vague anyway

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hoo boy this ended up long LMAO. coming back from the bottom to say Sorry this ended up this lengthy. here’s some

content warnings: discussions of canon and implied dark topics such as: abuse, murder, death, suicide, and self harm

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TLDR: Chara is a complex character with a rich backstory and motivations. by looking at the full game, you understand they’re a mentally ill child who is just following the player’s directions. YOU do the killing, Chara is your partner in crime because you force them to be.

Chara is the narrator in ALL routes. they are the UI, stats and narration.

it is Chara’s memories that convinces Asriel to remember how they met and how much they loved each other when alive. Chara is key to Asriel freeing the underground, they are a god dang hero

let’s look at canon Chara pre-game to fully understand what’s going on though.

-Chara lived in a village close to mt.Ebott. they decided to climb mt.Ebott for “a not happy reason” and hated humanity

-once underground, they become the sibling to Asriel and become a full fledged Dreemurr. They love their family. “it’s a dusty photo. everyone is happy.” (which, if you believe is the photo of Chara holding the flowers next to Asriel, implies Chara is smiling under them and their bangs) + the Mr.Dad Guy sweater + baking a pie for their dad

-in the underground, there’s the Deltarune prophecy. it reads as follows: “There is a prophecy. The Angel... The One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return. And the underground will go empty.“

-Toriel and Asgore are both strong believers of the Deltarune as seen by the symbol on their clothes and homes.

-Chara has been to the surface and therefore, most believe Chara is the angel that will free them.

-Chara is a small child, who hates humanity, loves their family, and by fate is destined to free monster-kind. they are determined.

-Chara and Asriel decide to prank Asgore by making a pie with buttercups instead of a cup of butter. They learn the flower is poisonous and Asgore gets sick, but ends up fine. Chara laughs it off, but if one is paying attention to the game, you will see that their is a very common theme of smiling/laughing when distressed.

Toriel smiling, laughing when being killed in no mercy

Migospel’s whole game-play is about how one acts around others vs. alone “ Laughter hides the pain. [Alone]”

sans can be seen as a broad example

a VERY good example is the snowdrake’s mother fight:

“You laugh, and keep laughing. It's SO funny, you can't stop. Tears run down your face. | ... what? You didn't do that? [Laugh]

But it's not funny. [Laugh again]”

-Chara hates humanity (epilogue Asriel says that) and by extension, would hate themself. you can read into the tools being worn down to being blunt + no knives in the kitchen as being precautions Toriel put in place to prevent Chara from self-harming. Chara attempts suicide twice in the game’s story.. Also! It’s implied Chara was abused before coming underground. “ If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard.-faded ribbon flavor text” and the fact Chara thought to kill the villagers in the first place, they didn’t get the “kill or be killed” mindset out of nowhere. + abuse can manifest in depression, anxiety, and Chara displays behaviors of coping with abuse. (harder to explain that detail, but Chara’s control-issues and distrust just SCREAMS abuse to me)

Chara is a kid with severe mental illness, implied to be abused, and all while younger than 13. that’s a lot to take in. which is also why a lot of people are upset at “Chara is evil” theories because it ignores that context and demonizes them. which is. bad. for lots of reasons. but mainly for how it handles the topic of survivors of abuse and mental illness and they’re just a freaking kid.

-anyway, long tangent aside... so this next point is more so how I interpret the order of events: Chara climbs the mountain to die, but trips and meets the Dreemurs. They become beloved by the kingdom and believed to be their savior. Chara can’t escape humanity’s history of trapping monsters or their own history of their horrible village, and when Asgore is poisoned they realize they’re bad too. It’s a common mindset of suicidal people to want to die before their image is tarnished. die while things are still “good,” when they’re still remembered fondly.

to cross the barrier, you need to have a human soul AND a monster soul. if Chara wanted to, they could of killed any of the Dreemurrs and absorbed their soul. But instead, the buttercup plan is a really freaking horrible way to die. Buttercup poisoning is awful. seriously, look up the symptoms. it’s bad. which is also why i believe Chara hated themself so much to put up with that form of death. -then they die, and become part of the Asriel and Chara fusion. (it should be stated they did not know Chara would be conscious.) the plan they agree on is to kill enough humans to break the barrier and free monster-kind, but Chara wants revenge, which is why they want to kill the humans and not negotiate like Toriel suggests Asgore could of done.

-Humans of course freak out at seeing them + their corpse and attack. Asriel realizes Chara was wrong and doesn’t want to murder, lets himself be killed. As they’re dying Chara screams “its kill or be killed” and both die. -years, possibly a century later depending on what side of the time-skip debate you’re on, Chara awakens in Frisk’s body and interacts with You, the player.

-they likely see you as the True Angel, and follow your orders just as Frisk just kinda vibes and does so as well.

-if you keep murdering, frisk distances themself from the world. (implied by what sans says about LV): * LOVE, too, is an acronym. * It stands for "Level of Violence." * A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. * The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. * The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. * The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.

-Frisk, NOPEing out of the whole thing, just leaves Chara, who feels like they are the literal stats of the universe. THAT is why Chara is only really fully present in no mercy, and only narration otherwise. Frisk’s autonomy and how much control they have are directly tied to your LV. Frisk is only named in the pacifist ending because they’re rewarded with the acknowledgement that they’re a person.

-The biggest detail is that it’s not Chara who kills, but YOU. Chara is your partner in crime, and only attacks the player when you refuse to ERASE the world and they kill you themself. it is your power and your determination that brought them to this world, and it is through your actions they believe power is the only they must fight for.

-also, both Chara and frisk are influenced by the player and react differently depending on your actions. (the dog food bag is described as “half full/half empty” depending on your LV, a reference to how one looks at glasses of water to be more optimistic/pessimistic and Frisk will feel good/bad depending on LV when punching the mad dummy in waterfall.) Chara is always just following your lead. they’re not controlling Frisk, you are. however, they are in control of the choices (as confirmed in no mercy you don’t get to choose answers for papyrus’ question and he calls you out on it. personally i like to think each choice answer is from each kid)

anyway yeah that's my overly long analysis of how Chara’s backstory is used to define who they are and then how being revived from the dead, they follow your steps to apply the “kill or be killed” logic to it’s extreme end.

also, its not like Chara is happy about following your orders either.

they think a plant is judging you. they talk about your sins in the sans fight. they call Undyne a hero despite fighting her. Chara doesn’t want to kill Asriel, but once it happens they go ballistic, stabbing repetitively, clearly upset. that then instantly gets them powerful enough to destroy the world, as with how LV is described as distancing yourself and such. Asriel meant the MOST out of everyone, he was their best friend, forever.

#Anonymous #personal stuff #sams replies #long post #undertale analysis

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tamamatango · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk about Kururu, again

Apparently the fandom is growing all of a sudden so I feel like talking about Kururu again cuz that’s all I know how to do and it’s been a while

First off disclaimer that fandom is fandom and anybody can interpret any character any way they want and if you like to portray a character a certain way for whatever reason go for it, more power to you (unless you put them in pedo/incest relationships that are displayed as good in which case fuck you). But in my personal Kirbpinion(TM) the Funimation dub was a fucking mistake because so many fan content creators write a way different Kururu than what he is in canon cuz the dub never got to his best episodes and also upped the sadism to ridiculous levels. Listen I know it’s funny to joke that he’s the kind of guy that has 3 medieval torture chambers but hear me out. Kururu is by no means a perfect person, he’s genuinely pretty rude/blunt (though sometimes his straightforwardness is justified :P), has an ego, sometimes acts pretty gross around others and likes extreme and elaborate pranks way way way too much BUT.

Assuming you’ve watched far enough into the series (like 100+ eps) I do not really understand the interpretation that he doesn’t care about anyone and that friendship and love are things he is totally incapable of. He says that yes but if you pay enough attention to his dialogue it becomes pretty apparent that he displays this attitude for multiple reasons. One is that he does genuinely have a hard time expressing the emotions he feels and often has awkward/guarded ways of doing so. But also he says many times over the course of the series that he has a “reputation” to keep up and wants people to call him a jerk; he wants to look cool and rebellious all the time and he thinks a nasty apathetic attitude is what earns him that status (not claiming that’s a healthy mindset, mind you). He wants to have full control over the way people see him and he gets super frustrated and humiliated when he can’t. This is probably why he gets so upset when people talk about how unpopular he is, because he’s spent so much time honing his image to a T and is like why the fuck isn’t this working?! In other words even though sometimes he is just an actual pain in the neck a lot of his asshole antics are part of a carefully manufactured persona, and he will do anything down to labeling his own memories to prevent other people from seeing through his facade and discovering the parts of him that are vulnerable.

And God forbid anyone does figure out that he does care quite a bit for the people around him, or at least if he didn’t at first he does now. Early on in the series he was commonly referred to as “depressing” and while the meta reason is probably just the anime writers just didn’t know how to adapt the character yet (he started out a little differently in the manga), in canon I believe he was just even more inclined to push everybody away from him, and as he began to get used to working in a group he gradually opened up. He commentates on how “soft” he’s gotten since he came to Earth a couple times, and the fact that he’s surprisingly one of the most loyal to Keroro out of the whole team (in many episodes where everyone abandons Keroro for being dumb he leaves last) and goes out of his way to help when he thinks it’s warranted (he asks for money when things aren’t dire yeah but hey labor deserves compensation :V) shows that he is dedicated to his team. There’s even episodes where he doles out some kind of moral lesson to the squad in his own Kururu-y way, especially to Keroro and Tamama. Even the Hinatas he’ll pitch in to protect when he has to, and we all know he’ll pretty much drop everything if Saburo needs him.

Speaking of which. I think the unspoken reason why he’s best friends with Saburo (besides the surface-level stuff like they’re smart and nerdy and seen as enigmas by everybody else) is because Saburo is the only other person in the cast who understands Kururu’s particular struggle of putting on airs as a means of self-defense all the time. He basically has a carefully managed celebrity life (that he has to constantly work to hide in anime canon), a somewhat formal/reserved public life, and the more quirky enthusiastic side of himself he only shows when alone and to the few people he’s close to and god damn that just sounds like the most exhausting juggling act ever. He has an outlet to free himself through his art but he still has to live with nobody quite knowing what he goes through on a daily basis, which is probably why we see him off on his own for most of the series (until he gets to warm up to everybody better...wonder who that sounds like) and occasionally have his bouts of frustration and insecurity like in 229 where he says “fuck it I’m gonna fight the apocalypse alone because I need something to do,” 354(? I think that’s the number) where he talks about just dropping everything and starting over, and I think one of the Christmas eps where Giroro has to like beg him to go to the Hinatas’ party cuz he says he’s “busy” even though he’s just sitting around pretty much (UPDATE: it’s 294 the implication is probably that he has his show or something but cmon that’s only like an hour lol). I am going off on a tangent now but anyway the point is he and Kururu are the most complicated communicators of the cast and they share feelings only they understand which is why they can more or less read each other’s minds and know exactly what to do when the other is in trouble.

Back to Kururu. Keroro, from what I can tell, is the closest to him out of the Platoon; Keroro gets freaked out by Kururu’s pranks sometimes yeah but they have a lot of common interests as the fun-lovers of the group and Kururu’s also kinda been interested in Keroro enough time follow him around for almost his entire life up to this point so there’s that. He also gets along with the other people he‘s around; we know he and Aki get along from the beginning because of how dynamic their personalities are but later on he gets close to Fuyuki to the point where they just hang out for the heck of it sometimes, and even though Natsumi is very justified in generally disliking him (many of Kururu’s more Eugh moments tend to involve her) even she seems to rely on him often, and in the cursed puppy episode she knows all his favorite foods by heart so she must care in some fashion lol. Dororo and he aren’t evidently super close but I think they get each other on some level as the (in-universe) least popular of the platoon and Dororo at least respects his abilities, and has clearly come to figure out his subtleties based on 229. Giroro and Mois...things get complicated. Just putting on record that I’m not a fan of either ship between Kururu and them. I’ve said this before but I think Giroro and Kururu are in a turbulent sibling-adjacent relationship in that they have completely opposing attitudes but they have a begrudging sense of respect for each other and, ultimately, they’re teammates, so they’ll defend each other when someone they don’t know tries to mess with them. I really don’t think the flirty stuff on Kururu’s end goes beyond teasing and I got kinda sick of that running gag if I’m being honest. (You can probably tell which frog I ship Kururu with by now :P) Mois went from something of a rival to Kururu to his lab partner, which is probably why he goes easier on her than he used to and even strikes up something of a friendship because the only other person he knows that might be capable of handling his technology is an Earthling who’s still against the invasion despite his lax attitude so. She helps :V

Now the question is why Kururu acts like he does if his relationships really aren’t all that bad and I think there’s two components to this. I’ve made it clear by now I think he’s autistic but your mileage may vary there. I think personally his childhood did something to the way he processes things as well. In Secret of the Kero Ball, he’s got a bandage on his head which may imply he got hurt somewhere and then he almost drowned which canonically definitely did something to him lol, was mostly seen alone so who knows if he has a family he still talks to, and then he got drafted into the army and placed into a high-ranking position of great responsibility at a very young age; it’s kind of a no-brainer why he rebeled and got demoted eventually. I’ve got plenty of headcanons about what his early days in the Military did to him but that’s for another day because good God this post went on too long.

In short: Kururu is possibly the most complicated character in the show and the F in Flanderization stands for “Funimation.” That’s it I’m never writing another essay about pee-color frog again I will make real content again at some point I promise

#keroro gunso #sgt frog #kururu #kululu #long post #i sure spent 2 hours on this #imo kururu is a more compelling tsundere than giroro there I said it

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rainbow-scarab · 4 years ago

Text

This is my take on Asgore (with a healthy side of Chara).

Obligatory disclaimer that you are free to have your own take, and I enjoy seeing other takes! In the end he's just a fictional character, and people have all sorts of life experiences that lead them to different interpretations.

Also warnings for discussions of difficult subjects found in Undertale, such as suicide, guilt, grief, psychological trauma, death, war, genocide, etc.

Asgore rates pretty low on my scale of UT character morality XD Though I find him an interesting character.

Asgore has both good and bad points as anyone in UT. He's a gentle soul at heart who likes bringing joy to others. But he is very reluctant to wield responsibility. And I believe this inaction is what's behind most of his other negative points, especially when it comes to making decisions.

When Chara came to the Underground, there was renewed hope. Asgore called them "the future of humans and monsters". For a time they all were a happy family, Asgore, Toriel, Asriel, and Chara. Or mostly. Chara was a very troubled child.....

Chara and Asgore were close, as were the rest of the Dreemurrs to Chara. But I don't think they quite knew how to help Chara. Chara must have had such a horrible life among humans to hate them so much...and then just decide to leave where they would never return. They found a loving family, and loved monsterkind. But they were still quite disturbed and probably had a lot of self-hate, both for being human and for their problem behavior. Being designated "the future of humans and monsters", they may have felt a lot of pressure.....and took what actions they thought would help monsters. Already hating humans, and humans being the cause of the monsters' imprisonment underground, on top of the self-hate, killing themselves and going on to kill six more humans in pursuit of monster freedom would feel like the best way they could contribute to a family, and species, that they loved so dearly.

Though I don't think being designated "the future of humans and monsters", a symbol of hope to the kingdom, ended up being healthy for Chara, I don't blame Asgore for this. The kingdom really needed that hope. And the Dreemurrs themselves would have been overjoyed both for that species-wide hope, and for the place Chara had in their family. It would be near impossible to be able to guess what Chara would ultimately do. It seems Chara did not open up about what had happened to them to Toriel and Asgore, and only partially to Asriel. But I think they would have been able to provide an environment of love and support to help Chara heal had they been there longer.

(Check out this post for a thorough analysis of Chara. It talks about and give evidence for Chara and Asgore's relationship. Also explains the "Chara is the narrator" theory I'll reference later)

But once Chara and Asriel took action, and both died.....Asgore became enraged. He declared war on humanity, completely reversing tone from before. Toriel left, and Asgore was alone.

In the years that followed, Asgore's declaration was followed. Monsters had great prejudice towards humans, and the royal guard kept a lookout for humans. Humans would either be killed by the guard, or Asgore himself.But at least by the time we get to him....he doesn't seem to be angry with humanity. He doesn't pretend that he will try to be friendly with Frisk the same as he does with other monsters, but...he wants to be. And he will give Frisk all the time they need before their fight. Doesn't even seem to care if it's years down the line. He just won't let Frisk pass in the end.

Once you fight and defeat him, he expresses how much he hates all the stuff about war, and just wishes for everyone to be happy and hopeful again. And perhaps...it could all just be over, and Frisk could leave the Underground with his soul. (More on this later)

To me, Asgore's big flaw....is not his declaration of war. Though that is definitely bad. One does not just declare their intention to not just kill humans to free monsters, but to destroy all of humanity, while in a position of power and influence...for that to be dismissed as nothing.

But....he was also very angry, for a very understandable reason. And....at some point....that anger subsided. And yet, he continued on the same path.

To me Asgore's biggest flaw is that he avoids responsibility and making decisions. The only time he ever is shown to make a significant decision...is his declaration of war, and it took extreme emotion for that to happen. But once back to more reasonable levels of emotion, he wouldn't even take action to reverse his own declaration. He felt duty-bound to kill humans, or else they would lose hope. Mmm...I'm not sure if that's just what he was telling himself to avoid decision, and perhaps the feared consequences of changing course were overblown. More on this in a minute.

In the past, it was Asgore and Toriel ruling together, even if Asgore seemed to the be official one in charge. As far as I can tell, they worked well together. Toriel on most of the details of running a kingdom, and Asgore, keeping up the spirits of monsterkind. Once Toriel was gone....no one really replaced her role.

(pic from Alarm Clock dialog)

Asgore did not develop the skills to run things well, and did not find anyone to help as far as I can tell. Undyne became head of the Royal Guard sometime after Toriel left (Undyne does not recognize her when they meet), though it's possible the Royal Guard itself appoints their own leadership. At the very least, Asgore appointed Alphys into the long-vacant position of Royal Scientist.

Though as seen by this bit of dialog from one of the neutral endings, merely having people in official positions doesn't mean his role as king is supposed to be over. Proper oversight would have certain made the amalgamate situation different anyways.

(There's the question of Sans possible working for Asgore. But since there's no hard evidence that I know of for this, I'm not really using this in my analysis)

Asgore still wants to get help. I think...to be unburdened from some or all of his responsibilities. Even if he doesn't know much about who he's asking help from. Like Frisk.

Ambassador is a huge responsibility to place on a young kid. Granted, there aren't other human choices, and even a child with no political skill would be a great symbol to bring humans and monsters together. And this child is the one who just saved everyone pretty much. Okay, I’ll grant him that.

Once defeated in a neutral run, he asks Frisk to take his soul and head to the surface. He would pass on the fate of monsters and humanity to someone he knows nothing about, not even their name, only that they came and defeated him in battle. But perhaps he just was...tiring of even trying anymore. Perhaps he was filled with guilt and grief and just...didn't want to live anymore. Okay. Spare him, and he entertains the thought of living a peaceful life together as a family, before Flowey kills him.

If you complete a neutral ending, then go back and defeat Asgore again on a neutral route, you get some special extra dialog. On choosing to spare him, Flowey doesn't come as quickly to kill him. He thinks again of life as a family, before dismissing it as fantasy. He identifies you with Chara (for having hope), with the prophecy of the angel, and then asks you to find a way to free monsters without really giving you a choice. ...again, he knows nothing about Frisk, their name, where they come from...only that they would give them mercy. And yet he is willing to make them in charge of the fate of all monsters. He kills himself, offering his soul up (before Flowey destroys this possibility).

(Side note...this or my analysis do not have the message that suicide is avoiding responsibility. I analyze his stated motives. It's quite possible that he had additional feelings of guilt and grief that led him to chose this. Even if not, it can't and shouldn't be generalized for other suicides)

Asgore is so reluctant to act...not even in genocide will he do anything special to save his people.

When you reach Asgore, clearly he has not heeded the warning and absorbed the human souls. I considered that perhaps Alphys did not call as she hates phone calls. But... there's a Queen Alphys ending, an aborted genocide ending. In it she pushes aside her fears and steps up, saving her people, implied that she hides them in the True Lab. I think this Alphys would have called.

He even gets a second warning here. But...he still tries to reason his way through, and speak with kindness. He is promptly killed.

In addition to his reluctance towards taking action, the other half of why Asgore wouldn't change...is that he was afraid that the people would lose hope.

...but I agree with Toriel. Through Asgore's lack of leadership, and continuation of the anti-human policies that came about when he was angry...the hope in the future that Asgore gave his people was dark.

In reality, though Asgore didn't want his people to lose hope...he himself had already lost hope. Perhaps that's why he couldn't bring true hope to his people.

In the Queen Toriel neutral ending, Asgore and the six human souls are gone. Toriel has instated a new policy to treat humans as friends. The people's hopes have taken a blow....but I don't think all is lost. It is possible to have a new vision and policy going forward, without Asgore or hoping for humanity's destruction.

In the King Papyrus ending, things are not quite as bright. There's a new policy to treat humans on a case by case basis. Papyrus tries to keep everyone working and fed. Sans does...a lot of paperwork. Productivity is up. But.....things are really hard. Papyrus is a great candidate to keep people's hopes up, kinda like Asgore (...Sans functions like Toriel too taking care of a lot of the details lol). But the Underground has lost many of their most beloved in this ending.

Yes.....I don't think Asgore, despite having lost hope, was only a detriment to monsterkind. His presence still brought some hope to the people, and his death was something to be mourned. But the loss of Asgore and his vision forward is just one factor in the outcome. Ultimately, I think Asgore's fears were not very true. If he changed course, away from his declaration of war...the people would adjust.

....Through all this.......

There was still one person still filled with Asgore's original hopes.

Chara never forgot Asgore's words as they lay dying. Even though they didn't heed these words....Asgore was an important figure to them in life.

Chara sticks by you the entire game, giving narration. In a few parts of the game, they share their memories with you, like when they fell into the Underground and were found by Asriel. And.....

When you die....they relay Asgore's own words to you. A message of hope to keep you going. A message that repeats to you the entire game, as many times as you need it upon death. Determination...the will to keep living...the resolve to change fate.

When you reach Asgore...he sees it. Maybe it doesn't mean anything special. A child may be full of hope for many reasons. I just kinda...want to believe that the same message of hope he gave to Chara...encouraged Frisk to make it this far, and it shines through on their face.

Through Frisk, Asgore's hopes come back to him. It's come full circle. He believes in a bright future again. A future with both humans and monsters.

You meet Asgore at the very end of the game. You've known him all of five minutes before Flowey shows up, and the final battle begins. Perhaps this is why he didn't have time to grow beyond this. Maybe, once on the surface, he'll work on himself further. Or not, I dunno, he stayed the same for a long time. We don't know.

Honestly....in the course of writing this my perspective on Asgore has changed. I expected to mostly write about his flaws, and why I thought of him poorly. But I didn't want to be unfair. And well...in Undertale.... When you dig a little deeper, you can find so much more about them than your assumptions and initial impressions. That the whole beauty of the game.

While I still think that Asgore is one of the most flawed people in the game...he has his good points too. And those actually turns out to be pretty important. Stay determined ❤

Screencaps from the Undertale Text Project (the work of squishing many textboxes in one image done by me)

P.S. One of the funnier lines in the game to me:

Thank you for reading!

#undertale #undertale theory #asgore #undertale analysis

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crystalelemental · 4 years ago

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You do have to take into account that Edelgard isnt real though. The writers had Edelgard hire Kostas to kill students so that she could end up in danger so that Byleth could protect her and get timey wimey rewind powers because they needed it to happen. If you find that inconsistent with her character, its not proof of Edelgard having different intentions, its just proof of the writing being bad.

This take is absolutely fascinating to me. Like...what does Edelgard not being a real, flesh-and-blood human being have to do with analyzing character and intent? The entire point of writing a character is to make them dynamic and present qualities you’d see in real people. Even when they don’t, people still relate to the smallest bits of information to extrapolate more character. Just look at Jugdral and Archanea. In a way that’s how real people interact with other real people all the time; you make inferences based on what little you know, guess at personality or interests beyond that, and adapt as you learn more. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with trying to fill in the gaps we don’t know. We do the same for written characters as real people, because that’s kinda just how humans are.

So like...who cares if they��re not real? What is that supposed to mean or prove here? That we can only look at the surface level of a text? That because they’re not real we can’t assume anything else is going on? That seems like a really boring way to engage with media of any type. At that point, anything implied may as well be tossed out, because only the concrete text can be taken as important, and we have to assume everyone is always telling the truth unless directly called out as a liar. I’m not saying that any interpretation is always correct. Sometimes there is text that actively disproves a particular interpretation, but sometimes it’s filling a blank space. No one has to agree with an interpretation that fills space, but in absence of evidence that, beyond any shadow of a doubt, disproves their interpretation, saying it’s wrong because there’s no direct evidence to show it’s clearly right just feels weird to me. As established, Edelgard could just be lying or withholding information. She’s certainly resistant to share anything with anyone, even Byleth. Assuming that she must be telling the absolute truth when speaking to Kostas neglects that facet of her established character; she doesn’t necessarily have a reason to lie, but she has no reason to tell him the truth either. If people can use those aspects of her character to find an alternate explanation that still pieces things together coherently, or even more coherently than taking things at face value, why wouldn’t they?

#Anonymous

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darkshrimpemotions · 2 years ago

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@god-dammit-fandom The longer answer is more complicated and waaaay less coherent, because the film kind of functions in a contradictory way on a few different levels, right?

Like on one level you have the narrative surface of what is actually happening, the sequence of events in the film. But on another level you have the underlying messaging of what's metaphorically happening.

Most films are like that to some extent, but when you have a film that's very clearly trying to be a statement piece about gender or sexuality or young adulthood or whatever, I feel like you have to look at the metaphorical bit a little harder. Like what is this film actually saying about those things? And not take the plot at face value.

So both plot-wise and metaphorically you have a group of three marginalized teen girls who aren't marginalized just because they're girls; each of them has something other than the fact of their gender that marginalizes them: Rochelle is marginalized because of her race, Nancy is marginalized due to poverty, and Bonnie is marginalized due to disability.

Meanwhile, Sarah's only axis of oppression is her gender. She is white, so she doesn't experience the racial marginalization that Rochelle does. She is able-bodied, so she doesn't experience the marginalization that Bonnie does due to her scars and the chronic pain that comes along with them. And based on her house and all of the things that we see around her material life, she's also not marginalized based on her socioeconomic class, certainly not to the extent that Nancy is.

She's sort of a cliché late 90s/early 00s YA protagonist in that she's an "outcast" and she's "not like other girls" but we're not supposed to look too hard at why a thin, conventionally pretty, able-bodied, white and well-off girl is an outcast. We're just supposed to assume she's marginalized in some way because the narrative says so, though it never shows us anything to back that up.

The closest the narrative ever gets is this nebulous idea that she's troubled in some way, but it's never explicitly stated why. It's kind of implied that it's tied to her having these powers and thus being "different" or "too special" but the powers themselves function differently on a metaphorical level than they do on a narrative level in a way that significantly undermines that interpretation, in my opinion.

Like within the original film--I'm not going to go into The Craft: Legacy because that gets more complicated--but in the original film all of the magic that the girls use comes from this masculine earth deity, Manon.

So on a metaphorical level, Sarah's powers being both the source of some anxiety for her and ultimately the thing that empowers her at the end only underscores the interpretation that she is an agent of the white supremacist patriarchy. Because yeah, it does cause her pain and suffering due to her gender, but it also gives her power over the other girls along every other axis of oppression they have which she doesn't share.

Now narratively speaking, Nancy is a threat to Sarah's life and to ordinary people. Like that's why Sarah ultimately fights her and does what she does, is because Nancy is set up as a threat to Sarah's well-being, to just regular people through the death of what's-his-face, and to the natural order via the scene with all of the dead sea creatures on the beach.

But on a metaphorical level, Manon is the white supremacist patriarchy, this unseen force of authority that must be respected and paid homage in order to gain power. And the white supremacist patriarchy is treated within the world of the film as the natural order. Because Manon was always there. His power was simply not accessible to Nancy, Bonnie, and Rochelle until his agent, Sarah, joined their coven. And their suffering up to that point was an acceptable price of maintaining that "natural order."

This is all further complicated by the fact that the story is telling you one thing and showing you something quite different even on just a narrative level, and that it requires you to buy into certain racist and sexist ideas in order to swallow what they're telling even as they contradict it with what they're showing.

Like in order for you to think that Rochelle deserves to be punished and to be disempowered by the end of the film, you have to believe that her bully didn't deserve what she got. You have to buy that persistent racist aggression doesn't merit or even allow a response, that punishing someone for persistent racist aggression is itself an act of unacceptable violence, and that if a person who is a victim of racist aggression fights back against the aggressor, they are as bad as the aggressor. And that idea is rooted firmly in racism and the preservation of white supremacy.

Likewise, in order for you to believe that Bonnie deserves the punishment that she gets, that she deserves to be disempowered by the end of the film, you have to buy that her pride and confidence in her own body is evidence of amorality and worthy of punishment, which of course is deeply rooted in sexism and misogyny.

Nancy is a more difficult case because Nancy actually does do things that most people would consider bad regardless of context. But the context in this case is that Nancy is an abused teenager with untreated PTSD. That may not be what the movie tells us. What the movie tells us is that she's crazy and power hungry. But what is actually shown on screen is that she's an abuse survivor with pretty obvious PTSD triggers around things like feeling trapped and powerless. And while that doesn't excuse any of her actions, I do think that it makes her punishment--being trapped and powerless indefinitely--a pretty low fucking blow.

Also let's be real: on a metaphorical level Nancy is just the power-hungry mad woman trope, this incredibly toxic sexist idea that women who get too much power will inevitably go insane and abuse that power.

The other problem I have is that for Sarah herself the film is once again telling you one thing and showing another.

They tell you that the coven turns on Sarah first, forcing her hand, but Sarah is all about that godforsaken boy from the word Go. She cares more about his attention and opinion at all points than about her sisters. And on both a narrative and metaphorical level, he is the initial splinter point that prompts her to break with the sisterhood. This is an unfortunately prominent feature of films centering teen girls from the late 90s and early 00s, where it's ultimately a boy, rather than clashing values or ideals, that prompts one girl to act decisively against another (see Ginger Snaps, Jennifer's Body, Drive Me Crazy, and Mean Girls for some other examples).

They also tell you that Sarah is the good magic user who didn't abuse her powers, but they show you that one of the first major acts of magic that she does is to take away another person's free will with regard to romantic and sexual attraction! We're really supposed to believe that Bonnie getting a little too up her own ass about looking hot is a worse crime than Sarah violating somebody's entire autonomy??

But again, on a metaphorical level, within the argument the film is constructing about gender and power, it is a worse crime. Sarah commiting a heinous breach of ethics to gain a boy's love is totally understandable and forgivable, while Bonnie and Rochelle escaping their marginalization and Nancy seeking power outside the limits imposed by white supremacy and patriarchy is not. Because ultimately The Craft is about girl power as filtered through a very white feminist, late 90s lens, where power inevitably makes other girls go nuts until the "right" kind of girl steps in to restore order, which is positioned as synonymous with white supremacist patriarchy.

Like she full on threatens Bonnie and Rochelle's lives at the end of the movie for daring to question her power! She's basically just reminding them that she has the power of white supremacy and patriarchy at her disposal in ways they cannot hope to fight, and can use it at any time to enact violence on them if they piss her off. Aka the most Karen-ass reaction possible to what amounts to a schoolyard taunt.

And while narratively the film gives you all kinds of reasons why this is actually a good and necessary thing for Sarah to do, that doesn't completely cover that that's what she does and how she functions in the story on a metaphorical level. Or that the entire film is basically a handwringing moderate's strawman argument against any social justice movement that threatens to create real change.

Which is why though aesthetically I prefer The Craft to The Craft: Legacy by many miles, thematically I far prefer The Craft: Legacy.

Sarah is the villain of The Craft.

#the craft #sarah bailey

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brittie-frog · 4 years ago

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Haunting of Bly Manor

Right.

I love horror and after spending sometimes days watching video essays on gay history, specifically in (horror) movies and film, I now kinda understand why so with the Haunting series and its gay rep and them not being the villain of the story, I loved it.

(Quick note I have only rewatched the show twice and can only take from my own experience of media)

My phone also knows me so will suggest news stories on things I've recently watched or current murder cases. So it suggested me this story today:

I went in open minded knowing that some people were angry about the ending falling into the 'kill the gays' trope (which I will come back to).

At first it was fine, talking about the ghost story/love story comment and how it relates to the show and has good analysis that I agree with. Then it goes on to basically summarise the show.

It keeps mentioning that all the gay subtext is implied:

why Dani broke up with her fiance

why Jaimie is reluctant to be vulnerable with Dani (before the monologue)

And that there needs to be a “lot of filling in between the lines” to understand their romance despite their practically constant flirting (Jaimie's 'Poppins' for Dani is the cutest nickname) and multiple kissing scenes. However, I digress, it can be sometimes hard to understand certain attitudes to each other at the beginning.

It also states that its like they want on the pat on the back for "making them queer, without making anything about them very queer". I don't know what this means, but I took two interpretations:

That not all queer people need to stereotypically look queer to be and that is a step forward for gay rep (I prefer)

That the creator wants to be celebrated for making gay rep without truely showing their queerness (which I think is pretty false)

Then it talks about the fireside chat and Jaimie's backstory, describing the monologue as "shoehorned" into the scene and "devoid of any mention of her sexuality". This is where the first part of my 10 minute research for context comes in. This is set in 1987 in a small town in England with an American. In charge of England at the time was the famously homophobic Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher that implemented Clause 28. No one in this setting and right mind - especially after being ridiculed for most of her life - would come out to any one, flirting or not, that they have known for at most a month or two. Also, this entire scene resolves around Jaimie's attitudes towards people, and why she's reluctant to get close to people, favouring taking care of her flowers over interacting with others.

Then it talks about Owen and Mrs. Grose having "more meaningful screen time and backstories that continue throughout multiple episodes".

First Hannah. We basically get Hannah's entire backstory in episode 5: how she met Owen, scenes of her working at the Manor (in non-chronological order) and how she died in the first episode. Then that continued into the final episode when she finally comes to terms with her death and her love for Owen to save everyone. We don't actually get much backstory in the way of her childhood or even how she met the family (from what I remember, correct me if I'm wrong).

Now Owen. His backstory is that he grew up in Bly, left to go to France and became a Sous Chef, only coming back because his mum got diagnosed with dementia and he needed to take care of her despite her constantly mistaking him for other people. That is also only explored through Hannah's memories of the interview and the bonfire-side chat.

Those are both sad backstories but you can't call them any more or less meaningful than Jaimie's of in depth about how her and her family were ridiculed and bullied throughout her life and even spent time in juvie. They all have points mentioned in their stories that I would love more indepth on: how Hannah met the family/met Sam, either Owen's childhood in Bly or his time in France and why Jaimie spent time in juvie. But I also realise this is a short series that has to make fleshed out characters and tell an entire story in 8 episodes.

The article then talks about how even the ghosts got an entire episode to themselves when they barely show up. If you look in the background of the majority of scenes you'll see them and personally I really enjoy getting their stories of how they died. However, that episode is about more than just finding out about the ghosts and Viola's life, it’s mainly about what led to her being the first ghost and causing other dead people to stay as ghosts and the origin of those specific words that give a ghost access to an alive person’s body, to help explain the majority of the show. If I showed my friend this show and removed that episode I would have more questions asked than when my mum finished it.

Now I don’t know what to say. I agree there is no law on art so it can be anything and I usually think that the haunting series are in a slightly different universe (it’s how sleep at night knowing that someone can’t be so stubborn they become a murdering ghost) but also yes, trans-roles should be given to trans people more often. However they are actors and their job is to play some they aren’t for entertainment so for the most part I agree with Scarlett about being able to play anything. Also yes the self-congratulatory approach after playing an LGBT+ character when you’re cishet is kinda bad unless you have the full support of the community telling you it was a good portrayal and accurate representation. It won’t be enough for minorities if our representation, that people outside the communities are calling great, are just surface level characters that are just there for tokenism but you can’t compare Bly Manor characters to those types of characters. All of them have so much development and are well done that the majority of the community that has watched the show have no problem with and love their representation.

Personally I love both Theo Crain and Jaimie and Dani because they represent different things. Theo Crain is on a basic level. as a lothario, a stereotypical butch lesbian, constantly hooking up and struggles to actually open up and love people. Dani and Jaimie are soft, domestic cottage core lesbians in a flower shop AU. This is not a bad thing and just because they have a “tepid romance” doesn’t mean it’s a step back. Also more context time:

As said before Thatcher was in charge and heavily homophobic, creating laws to stop people from teaching children about homosexuality since gay sex had been decriminalised recently

It was the middle of the AIDs epidemic. Dani was coming from a country that was doing nothing about the deaths of thousands and going to a country where hysteria about AIDs was rampant but they were doing more, like the ‘AIDs: don’t die of ignorance’ information leaflet despite it not being as huge with 46 deaths by 1984. (That assumes that the AIDs epidemic happened in this universe)

Dani clearly had some form of internalized homophobia before even coming to England because she spent so long with her fiance hoping to feel the way she’s supposed to (I think the ghost of him is her guilt and internalized issues personified as it constantly appears when she’s trying to move forward.)

Also in the final episode it shows that is probably at least some homophobia in America as they kiss in the shop then look outside and go to the back so no one can see. (This could be interpreted as seeing if anyone is planning on coming in so they can escape without having to stop early for customers but Jaimie had already changed the sign to closed.)

Now onto the ‘kill the gays’ trope. Yes this is a huge trope that is so damaging to the community that we’re constantly the ones killed off for views or when their tokenism is no longer important, that is fucked up! However this doesn’t mean that we should give every gay character plot armour, cause that’s also unrealistic, just to please the select few that will call it out as a damaging trope. There is huge difference between say, The 100 killing Lexa and Bly Manor killing Dani as one has plot relevance and brings the story to a close while the other enraged an entire generation so much they started a brand new convention to celebrate queer relationships/characters in media. It’s also not like she was the only one to die, it’s horror after all, Hannah, Rebecca and Peter, the parents and all those ghosts died or were already dead.

Like many of the comments on the article - If all you got from this show was it falls into kill the gays, you have completely missed the entire point of the show.

#bly manor netflix #haunting of bly manor #dani and jamie #just my thoughts #ramblings #this is a product of my frustration

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sommniac · 4 years ago

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breaking down "life sucks” by ha:tfelt

Life Sucks by Ha:tfelt (real name: Park Yeeun, nickname: Yenny) is an underrated masterpiece. I loved Pluhmm but this song is the one that really drew me in. One thing that I adore is how the music video pairs with the song to create a vivid image of Yenny’s mindset during this period of suffering.

youtube

To kick everything off, I need to explain what the general song is about. Life Sucks is Yenny speaking out about her father who abandoned her family when she was a child and wormed his way back into her life for money once she got famous. She cut him off repeatedly, but felt guilty because he was still her family so she would always let him back in. Then he was caught soliciting fake donations from the church he was the pastor of and using her name and fame to gain his victims’ trust. He claimed she was an accomplice in all of this, even though she was entirely innocent. Although her public comments were minimal, she was emotionally distraught and later admitted to being depressed and suicidal during this period and its aftermath. Luckily, she found the strength to pull herself out of the darkness and released this song dedicated to the pain she’d undergone at her father’s hands.

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Note: All of the analysis below is my own interpretation and should not necessarily be regarded as fact.

Trigger Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, self hatred, and homicidal thoughts

Yenny begins the music video on the floor, in a room covered in plastic, cloth draping, and newspaper articles. Curled into an almost fetal position, she rocks back and forth with blood dripping from her hands and dress, pooling beneath her. At her feet are a broken mirror displaying the fragments of a warped reflection and a knife, close enough to grab. Scattered through the room are red shoes, matching the blood splattered against the walls.

The room itself likely represents her own head, covered in reminders of her father and herself and everything the media has collected about their (alleged) wrongdoings. Everything is sterile and white except for the darkness of her blood and hair which pierce through the cleanliness of it all. The color and size of the chamber and somewhat reminiscent of a padded cell, implying that she is trapped in her own mind where no one can ever hear or see her suffering in silence. She slowly lifts her head up to directly face the camera, blood smeared across her face in an acknowledgement of the eyes on her.

For the first time in my 29 years Daddy sent me a letter Never knew how wack his handwriting was I guess I should've known better

This part is depicting Yenny reconnecting with her father for the first time since her parents’ divorce. Although its meaning seems relatively simple on a surface level, there’s an interesting note about how she didn’t know “how wack his handwriting was,” implying that in her whole 29 years of living, she had never once seen his handwriting. It really goes to show how estranged they were from one another.

In the music video, her back is to the articles, all talking about what’ll happen to her and her eyes are blindfolded, insinuating she was naive and blind to what was going to happen in the near future.

That's why mine is so ugly too That's why mine is so ugly too For the first time in my 29 years Daddy wrote me a letter

These lines are far more tragic. As you’ll come to see, a recurring theme throughout the song will be Yenny noting her similarities to her father in a defeated sort of way and that is visible here as well where she repeats “that’s why mine [handwriting] is so ugly too.” She’s acknowledging that he and her are closer than she would like and this little mention here devolves into deeper, more scathing self hatred later on.

How's your mom? How's your sis? I really miss ya But you better not come here I'm sorry, but don't you worry 'Cause I'm prayin' for your health and future

Like the snake he is, Yenny’s father returns to her life in a trojan horse constructed of pleasantries and false pretenses. He pretends he just wants to reconnect with his daughter, claiming that he “really miss”es her and is “sorry” but, as we see in the next verse, he only wants something from her, namely money. He doesn’t actually care about her as he claims to.

In the video, Yenny sits on a bed, dragging the knife from the first scene across the mattress before lifting it up to survey. Perhaps too obviously, it appears she’s looking at the knife that will metaphorically stab her in the back, examining his claims with hindsight she couldn’t access before.

Oh dear, sweetheart Things have gone a little south My girl, need your help Could you bail me out

This is where we see his true intentions. The attempts at rebuilding the father-daughter relationship that he so selfishly destroyed were, all along, just efforts to coerce her into giving him her hard won money. The word choice of “bail me out” is especially apt considering what he needed that money for.

The video depicts her singing from behind a piece of plastic that’s obscuring her face for the first line of the verse, representing how her vision still was not clear. It is only when he begged her to bail him out that she stepped out from behind the distortion and finally understood his true intentions.

Life sucks for everybody (No need to cry, no no no) Life sucks for everybody (Act like no child, no no no) I'm just survivin' everyday Right at the edge of losing my mind Life sucks for everybody Just let me find peace of mind

The lyrics for the chorus are pretty plain in their meaning. It’s an explicit expression of vitriol toward the world and her father. At first, Yenny’s words seem almost comforting, telling the listener that life sucks and they don’t need to cry because she understands them. But then she sings “act like no child” and it becomes clear she’s speaking to herself with a sort of spite, ordering herself not to cry. And it’s really really sad to hear. It’s voices in her head whispering to her to not cry like a child. That’s why she’s “right at the edge of losing [her] mind” and why she’s begging the voices to “just let [her] find peace of mind.”

The newspaper articles around her are the physical manifestations of these voices, surrounding her and caging her in accusations and hatred. There are flashes of her with the knife and the blindfold before entering into the chorus and each of them mean different things. The first shot is a look to the future where Yenny is more closely scrutinizing the knife now that she knows what it’ll do to her. The second shot is set in the past, where she is boxed in by the fabric and plastic on either side of her and her blindfold is still on, blinding her to the lie her father has trapped her in. The rest of the chorus is dedicated to shots of her singing in the room, nothing extraordinary to point out.

If only I could go back and tell myself "Don't you trust him, he already hurt you" When you cried on your knees Showing some regrets Wish I could've known better

People don't change so easily, nah People can't change that easily If only you meant all you told me that night But, guess I'd better blame myself

Here, she’s speaking from the future, cursing her naive past self for being so foolish as to believe her father, considering their history. She wishes she hadn’t been so eager to assume that he’d changed from the man he was when he left her family.

The video shows her shining a flashlight around the walls, looking for something beyond the articles that surround her.

Even though she clearly wasn’t at fault for having hope that her father wasn’t as awful as he really was, she unfairly blames herself for everything for being oblivious to the future. This furthers the themes of self hatred first introduced during the verse about how her father’s handwriting was as ugly as hers. Especially self hatred regarding her relationship with her father, blood or otherwise.

This part of the video is, perhaps, my favorite. She rips away newspaper articles talking about her present connection with her father to open a window into the past. A crayon drawing, clearly done by a child, appears beneath the controversy to expose a house beside the image of a bloody, hanged man that, supposedly, represents her father. The cadaver is separate from the house, implying her father and the concept of home are two different, individual ideas. Depicted visually in a single shot is Yenny’s current and past relationships with her father, both equally twisted and tragic.

How's your night? How's your sleep? Have you ever woken up by your conscience? Well I'm sorry, I've got no worries All I have are wrath and disgust

Here, Yenny is speaking directly to her father, asking him all the questions she never got to after he betrayed her. She’s sarcastically asking him how he’s been, wondering how he can sleep at night despite being such an awful person. She assures him that she isn’t worried about him, she’s just wrathful and disgusted. Her hatred toward her father is overwhelmingly clear here. She really does despise him for all he is.

To be honest, I don’t know what this scene of the music video means. She’s sitting on the bed, ripping apart red high heel shoes which would insinuate the red shoes have some meaning but I don’t have any definite ideas, just some theories. The first is the red shoes represent home like in the Wizard of Oz and she’s ripping them apart because home doesn’t exist anymore since he destroyed it. Another theory I have is the red shoes represent danger as the color red is often associated with that. It implies she’s ripping the danger out of her life. However, I’m not so sure how much of a stretch these ideas are and so I’ll refrain from saying anything conclusively.

One time, you said "Must obey or be cursed" You were right, I am cursed Running your blood in my vein

Yenny repeats a phrase her father employed to scare her when she was younger: “must obey or be cursed.” And she affirms that she was cursed, but not for disobedience. It was from her biological relation to him. The very blood running through her veins taints her existence. Her hatred of her father and her self hatred connect spectacularly here as she once again proves that a large reason she despises herself lies with her father and the DNA and features and blood they share. She loathes him to the point she also abhors anything related to him, including herself.

In the video, she speaks the first couple of lines facing away from the camera, talking to someone unseen, imitating her father. She then slowly turns to stare directly into the camera, singing straight to him to tell him that he’s wrong, yet right at the same time. During the last line, her hand creeps up her neck, strangling herself in a physical representation of how the idea of her father’s blood running through her veins makes her feel.

The lyrics and meaning have not changed from the last chorus so I’ll jump right into the video because there is a significant difference in how this part is visualized in comparison to the rest of the song. Yenny has managed to be composed up to this point, looking at everything almost apathetically, stood up straight, not betraying any emotions. This is the point where that careful facade absolutely shatters. She collapses to the floor, the camera shaky and blurry as she claws at the floor and her head. By the end of the chorus, she’s back to her carefully constructed self but the time where she completely shattered is not forgotten. It’s a quick glimpse behind the mask of the perfect Kpop star into the head of a broken girl who is perpetually “right at the edge of losing [her] mind,” on the precipice of deciding that maybe the effort it takes to continue “survivin’ everyday” and soldiering through the pain just isn’t worth it.

I might pull the trigger, you know I might do it for good, you know I might pull the trigger, for both of us I might do it for all, you'll see

I might pull the trigger I might do it for good, you know Pull the trigger Do it for all

The lyrics here are chilling, especially in their repetition. She’s talking like a martyr, claiming that “pull[ing] the trigger” would be good “for all.” The “all” in question isn’t specified. Is it just for the “both of [them]”? Is it for the victims? Is it for humanity in general? She isn’t clear but perhaps that was the point. Yenny sings about how she wants to kill herself and her father with a certain oxymoronic apathetic vigor. She just sounds so confident in her words, that she’ll do it and everything will be better afterwards.

At this point, the music video reconnects with the beginning. As Yenny sings to the camera, blood flows from the ceiling, covering her face and dress and hair in red. She tries wipe it from her face but only succeeds in smearing it. Her expression is wholly apathetic, matching the nonchalance with which she speaks the lyrics. The state she is in at this point is the exact same as the one from the beginning of the video, creating a sort of loop. This likely represents how she was stuck in an endless cycle in her head, a time loop of guilt and loathing and death. For years, her mind was a broken record of her father’s crimes and her relation to him.

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Life Sucks is a painfully sad song of self-condemnation and mental suffering. For listeners, solace can only be found in the knowledge all of this happened in the past. For the most part. This is the type of event someone can never truly recover from and, as much as I would like to believe the contrary, I doubt Yenny is the exception. She’s a bright soul who deserves infinitely more than the life she’s endured and I’m glad she’s found the strength to move on that many others can’t. For now, we can only support her and her music. Her latest album “1719″ is a masterful body of work that reflects her mindset over the past few years. I would highly recommend it, especially Pluhmm, Sky Gray, and Cigar. Her latest release is La Luna and the music video, while having highly, highly dubious scenes, is visually beautiful.

#ha:tfelt #park yeeun #yenny #wonder girls #lyrics #lyric analysis #music video analysis #analysis #kpop #kpop gg #kpopidol #life sucks #tw suicide #tw depression #tw self loathing #tw homicidal thoughts #tw suicidal thoughts

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thesummerstorms · 5 years ago

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Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 9)

CW: idk if “emotional abuse” is the right term here, but I can’t think of the more appropriate one.

TL:DR Recap: Etain is having a hard time dealing with her sudden promotion to officer, so Jinart chews her out. Darman, on the other hand, does his best to reassure Etain, and they start to develop a plan together. Eventually, they leave Birhan’s farm. Omega gets nervous when Hokan’s people start burning more fields, but eventually meet up with Jinart. Hokan plays games badly.

This post is super long, even compared to the other recaps, because I have to deal with Jinart’s bullshit.

Beginning Kal Count: 13 Ending Kal Count: 18

We open with a quote from Ki Adi Mundi that reinforces Traviss’s position about the unfairness of the clones lot, but most of you already agree with that, so we’re not going to waste time with that now.

Darman has pinned Jinart to the wall with a blaster to her head. Etain is horrified and tells him to let up. (Etain’s feelings about Jinart seem to go back and forth. Mine do not.) But Dar doesn’t let Jinart go until Etain mistakenly tells him that Jinart is a Jedi. (Because Jinart has Force-like telepathy abilities but still has refused to give Etain another explanation, if you’ve forgotten.)

Jinart insists she’s not a Jedi again, then asks Dar if he would be willing to shoot an old woman. When he insists that soldiers can look like anybody, Jinart praises him and tells Etain to follow his lead, despite the fact that just last chapter she was chewing Etain out for being too suspicious.

I fully admit that a large part of my dislike of Jinart stems from her treatment of Etain, but she also comes across a lot as an authorial authority in support of ruthless pragmatism, and I find it unsettling. It’s not necessarily that’s she’s wrong in this case, so much as that this viewpoint seems unfairly weighted over time.

Jinart revels that Omega is alive and safe for the moment, which has Darman anxious to rejoin them. As she stares at Darman, we get this weird little aside from Jinart:

Again, there’s not any real reason to think that non-Mandalorians, much less non-Mandalorian shape shifters on a backwater world like Qiilura, ever had much reason to know what Jango Fett looked like before his clones descended on the galaxy. So I genuinely want to know when Jinart might have encountered Fett before. It isn’t a question that will ever be answered, of course.

Jinart finally decides to reveal that she’s a shapeshifter after refusing to tell Etain anything for the last several chapters. Etain is frightened and ready to fight, but Dar is delighted because he’s seen gurlanin before and think’s she’s Valaqil. Even after she explains she’s Valaqil’s “consort” he’s intrigued, and Jinart finally explains to Etain that she’s a telepath, but primarily among her own species. Any time she’s been “transmitting” to Etain or Dar, she’s been shapeshifted as an inconspicuous object nearby. She also starts giving them a tactical update, and explains that she and Valaqil can act as a rudimentary comlink between the Republic and Omega.

Again, the only reason I can think of for Jinart to reveal any of this now that Darman’s here if she was unwilling to loop Etain in earlier is that Darman already knows about the gurlanin. But Etain is still out of her depth and not sure whether any of this information can be taken at face value now.

“His” in this scene is Hokan. Again, Etain implies that Fulier was kind to her, which is as close as she gets in this book to the kind of emotional reminiscing Omega has for Kal, but believes that she ultimately disappointed him- and that makes her worthless as a Jedi.

After all the status updates and Jinart’s warnings about the locals and Hokan, Darman turns to Etain, expecting the direction that he’s always been taught that the Jedi will effortlessly provide. Except Etain is still caught up in her sense of uselessness, and kind of... implodes instead.

Again, is it a useful or practical reaction? No. But is it one I can relate to? Yeah, by a lot. Especially when it’s called out as the extensive culmination of years worth of dismissal by the Jedi and months of hunger/danger/paranoia. Notice how Etain immediately regrets it though -- and adds it to her list of failures.

Darman is upset, which again, is perfectly reasonable in the situation. He doesn’t call Etain out on it, and he acquiesces to her “order”, but Etain can tell he feels disillusioned/”forlorn”. Jinart kicks him out so that she can yell at Etain, and we get to the scene that makes me both hurt and rage.

Okay, it feels like Jinart is taking out both the galaxy’s predilection with Jedi and Omega’s social conditioning to obey Jedi out on Etain, but the line “that soldier may think a Jedi’s word is a divine pronouncement, but I don’t.” That would make sense for Jinart to say if Etain was trying to use her newfound authority in an injurious way or was puffed up with self importance, but literally everything objectionable Etain has done so far has been to reject her own worthiness of that authority?

Also:

I’ve seen people before who read RepComm but didn’t care for it scoff at how quickly Etain falls for Kal’s manipulation. But besides the fact that she’ll come to love Dar and Kal is important to Darman, this is why she’s ultimately so easy to manipulate. She desperately wants the purpose that the Jedi raised her with the promise of, but also she’s had literal years of being rejected/feeling worthless. Kal is good at manipulating people’s need for affection/belonging/purpose. He’s just somewhat kinder about it when he does it to Bardan and Besany, at least at a very surface level.

then... then we get to this.

Look, I get that Etain’s personal psychological troubles are not useful to Jinart right now, and that yes, they’re probably an impediment to the mission. I’m not saying that Etain doesn’t need a conversation to shift her focus.

But Jinart literally saying that Etain is so worthless that Jinart would murder her if it woudn’t go against Darman’s social conditioning, a conversation that literally leaves Etain falling to her knees in the middle of a break down... not only is it unfair (yes, whatever “life isn’t fair” saying people. shut up.) it’s also demonstrably counter productive.

Imagine if Jinart had just like... been up front with Etain. Or tried to talk to her rationally about the fact that yes, it’s unfair what she’s been through but they still have the job to do and x, y, and z are the specific ways Etain needs to contribute. Instead Jinart just does her best to verbally destroy Etain, which doesn’t achieve anything, and moves on.

Darman pops back in only seconds later, and I kind of wonder if he was listening to the conversation. If he was, I’m sure it’s unsettling given he was raised to believe the Jedi were infallible. But he also does a remarkable job of showing her the compassion that Jinart won’t in this, scene, and I wonder if anything he might have overheard plays into that.

He’s doing a balancing act, and in all fairness, this has to be awkward as hell, confusing, even painful for Dar. Etain really isn’t the officer he needs right now. But he still opens with “are you okay?”. And when she clearly isn’t ready to have that conversation, he tries to deflect the conversation to something useful. When he eventually gives up and goes silent, it’s Etain signal that she’s gone too far and she’s acting like an ass. So she tries. She apologizes, and she tries to move on, for his sake if not hers.

“He was the only person in many years who had shown any degree of confidence in her, and the first since Master Fulier who had shown her real kindness.”

Etain is desperate for not even real affection or love, though she’s badly starved for those things too, but just simply casual kindness. And the line about confidence gives me all sorts of questions- I am going to have to sit down at some point and figure out how much of that I think is really, truly Kast Fulier not believing in her as his Padawan, and how much is Etain’s own psychology and bias interpreting things in the least favorable manner to herself possible. But for the moment, all that matters is that it shows exactly why what Jinart just did was useless.

Because Etain doesn’t start to respond until Darman tries to treat her, at a bare minimum, with respect and a belief in her potential. And once he does that.... she decides to do the best she can in that moment to be the thing that he needs her to be. First by apologizing for her lack of control/ the way she’s hurt him unfairly, and then by acknowledging her faults and his superior knowledge while still tacitly agreeing to help him on the mission.

Which is the thing that Jinart wanted in the first place, right?

Dar shows more compassion and understanding towards Etain from the get go than she gets from pretty much any other character in the entire series, if we’re being honest.

We break for a moment from that scene to Niner and Atin discussing dinner, but really there’s nothing super important to recap for most of that page. Omega starts talking about their Sergeants, and Niner is singing Kal’s praises. Kal count raises to 14.

It’s a lot of praise for someone not yet a character. And then --

I’m gonna count that as a separate mention, even though they’re close together, so the Kal Count is now at 15.

Anyway Niner wakes up slightly when Omega realizes the Separatists are burning the fields in an effort to drive out Darman. There’s not much to say about it honest, because it gets little page time as compared to Kal. We do get a nice peek at Atin slowly integrating into the squad -- “he didn’t want to show dissent any longer”-- but it’s fleeting, and then we’re back to Dar and Etain.

Darman and Etain are using her holomap to go over the intel on Separatist positions and using crusts of stale bread and drawing in the dirt to make a map. It’s exposition that’s not too important to characterization, so I won’t bother recapping it, but Darman does mention when Etain asks why they’re drawing in the dirt rather than on the holo that Kal taught him to do it that way because tactile is better or whatever. Which raises the Kal Count to 16.

Jinart inserts herself again to warn them about the fields/farms being burned to flush them out and warns them that they have to run. Darman says he can’t go with out his gear. Jinart throws disguises at them. Dar’s going to have a hard time blending in, but Etain fits in with the “undernourished” locals. Jinart overrides Dar’s objections: no, you can’t go straight to the RV zone, find a safe house off this USB drive I’m giving you instead.

Again, I actually do love that Etain is clearly observing him intensely, but while in another time in place everything she points out might be a sign of attraction, here it’s explicitly her being afraid that he looks too well fed to blend in.

Jinart makes her take out her Padawan braid, which Etain objects to but does, and again, it’s a small but good characterization thing:

She and Dar take off, but Etain is still putting herself down in front of him.

Listen, I’m sure someone somewhere is going to argue that it isn’t Dar’s job to emotionally reassure Etain here, but that’s the situation they’re in, for better or worse, and he does a pretty good job of it, even to the subtlety of calling her “commander” there.

We very, very briefly jump to Hokan, and honestly the only thing worth noting is how terrible a manager he is:

Underling: *makes a good suggestion* Hokan: I should punish him for back talking me, even though I admit that he’s right! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Finally, we get to Niner. Jinart has found Omega, and they almost shoot her until they recognize her as a gurlanin. She gets them caught up to speed, and we get this kind of sweet, kind of heartbreaking moment from Niner, whose biggest character strength AND flaw is honestly his loyalty:

Jinart explains they’re headed for the wrong target. Fi is sarcastic but cheerful.

Oh, fuck you, Jinart.

Jinart notes that the commandos have lost a lot of weight, and Fi confirms they’re burning more calories than planned. Jinart offers to hunt them merlies as long as the squad doesn’t shoot any, arranges to deliver new rendezvous coordinates with Darman, and then starts to help Omega with what in future chapters will develop into a plan to use local mining explosives to take out the local airfield.

This chapter then FINALLY ends, which is good, because this post is huge and I’m still pissed at Jinart

Retroactive Edit: I realized I missed another incident of Skirata-mention from Niner talking about the “mark one earhole” or whatever the fuck, when Jinart shows up and then a second one about how not even Kal would have known how to deal with Gurlanins, so the Kal Count was updated to 18.

#Republic Commando #Rev Recaps RepComm #Hard Contact #Jinart #Etain Tur-Mukan #Darman Skirata #Niner Skirata

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donotexterminateupgradepudding · 5 years ago

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Defining the relationship between the 12th Doctor and Clara Oswald - part 1.

This is my first Dr. Who meta post; I am going to start with a topic that has had me thinking since I first saw it in season 8. The relationship between the 12th Doctor and Clara Oswald. When I watched each episode for the first time I didn’t pay too much attention to all of the details, but I really liked their dynamic, it reminded me of the 10th Doctor and Donna. Not the same but similar. I now have gone back and re-watched this season to ponder the details a bit more. This comes from me trying to determine what type of relationship they have. When 12 regenerates and runs around London trying to determine who murdered the dinosaur, he’s disoriented, blunt, and tries to figure out how to define his relationship with Clara now that he is a different person.

When he comes back to pick her up, the two of them slowly approach each other and after he states he’s made some mistakes and he’d like to do something about them he comes right out and says the following.

Clara replies that she never thought that he was her boyfriend. To which he states that “I never said that it was your mistake.”

I’m still not quite sure what is going on here. The Doctor is making it clear he’s a different person and he’s formally reintroducing himself to her. When she replies that she didn’t think he was her boyfriend, she has a look of slight shock and looks a little dewy eyed.

Did she think the 11th Doctor was a boyfriend of sorts and now is realizing that this older and very different doctor is not boyfriend material? One part of me wants to read this as her being hurt realizing that the 11th Doctor really is gone. Another part of me wants to think that she honestly didn’t see the 11th Doctor as a boyfriend. Maybe this shows that she was unsure what to think of him? Maybe she thought of him as a boyfriend sometime - since she did bring him to Christmas dinner and have him be a boyfriend. Clara is a great character because she plays her cards very close to her chest and keeps her feelings locked away. What is interesting is his statement of taking the blame and stating it was his mistake. That he did lead her on and wanted her to think of him as a boyfriend as the 11th Doctor.

He then takes her back home. They discuss the newspaper ad and the TARDIS phone number and how this woman is keen on them to stay together. He directly asks her how she feels on the subject. He gives her the option that she can only be home if she wants to be home. Clara looks upset but apologies profusely that she’s sorry; she doesn’t know who he is anymore.

Her phone rings and he insists she pick it up since it could be her boyfriend calling.

Interestingly, she tells him to shut up as she smiles and looks a little embarrassed before she tells him that she doesn’t have a boyfriend. This leads to the dramatic climax where his past self calls Clara to reassure her, that she’s likely scared and his future self is even more scared and that he uses her friendship with him the 11th Doctor to make sure she helps the 12th Doctor. He does this full well knowing she can’t deny his request.

She almost cries after he says good-bye and it allows the 12th Doctor to directly ask her if she’ll help him. He finally gets her to look at him and she has her emotional moment as they hug and she begins to accept the 12th Doctor. And thus, their new dynamic is established. The Doctor doesn’t think he’s a hugging type anymore, while Clara retorts that he doesn’t get a vote. To which he replies “Whatever you say.” He then awkwardly suggests that they get coffee, or chips or chips and coffee. Clara accepts the coffee. I don’t know about you, but Clara accepting the offer of coffee sounds like a first date to me. Both of them have first date body language, he’s hesitant but trying and she goes from being closed off to open as they walk off for coffee.

Clara beings to relax as she’s thinking - okay, we are going to get some coffee. Since he has no money to buy, she tells him that he’ll do the fetching but he’s also not sure he’s the fetching type. As they go off together we get this statement from her to end things:

Her body language is relaxed and natural. He’s still a bit uncomfortable, though this is likely in part to him not knowing his new body yet and also still unsure after that intense hugging moment. The point is she’s now looking at him and she’s more comfortable with accepting him as the Doctor, her Doctor. Thus, the 12th Doctor will defer to Clara as the boss in their interactions in the future.

In episode 2 “Into the Dalek”, he brings Clara with him as a sort of safety. He knows she is a compassionate person and it is clear he doesn’t quite know how she fits into his travels, but he does know that having her with him is important to him and he immediately trusts her to help him re-activate Rusty’s memories.

I think that “The Robot of Sherwood” follows this episode nicely as he feels like he must both defend her from danger and have her attention (as much as possible). Robin Hood is a dream for Clara and she is dazzled being able to meet a man she clearly loved of as a child. He can’t believe that Robin Hood is real and must show that he’s “fake” to prove to Clara that he’s real. I’d say this stems from him in the first episode telling her that she’s standing right in front of him but not able to accept that he is him. His immediate dislike of Robin Hood and his merry men leads to great banter and only does Clara get him to realize that they are very similar men by telling Robin Hood about the Doctor’s past. It is clear that he’s very protective and possessive of Clara and despite his much more bitter and blunt attitude he cares about her.

Unlike some of the previous Doctors who are much more friendly the 12th Doctor struggles with expressing himself through physical contact and words that he can’t always say, he’s the opposite of 10 and 11 on the surface.

However, as he becomes more comfortable with himself and with Clara his physical distance begins to shift. For “Listen” he allows Clara to connect with the telepathic interface to try and find her dream in her own timeline. For Clara to connect with the interface, he leans over her from the side and guides her hands into the interface before he steps away from her. There is so much going on in this scene.

For the 12th Doctor, this is an intimate behaviour. If he were completely touch adverse, he could just tell her to place her hands in the interface but instead he guides her hands in with his. His touch is gentle and there is a bit of a gap between his and hers, but this is something you would not just do with any person. If this were intended to be a very intimate, more overt and sexualized action, they would have framed it where the Doctor is positioned directly behind Clara, wrapping his arms and hands around her while he reaches around. Instead, he cleverly is positioned to her left and he’s at her side. To me this shows that he’s becoming more comfortable and desires some level of closeness with her yet he’s not ready to be more forward in his mannerisms. He’s not sure what she means to him yet. At the same time, the episode ends with the TARDIS using Clara’s timeline as an input takes her back to learn about his childhood secret. She doesn’t tell him about her discovery, I feel it in part shows that she too isn’t quite as confident in her relationship with him yet (since she can’t be honest about it) but she protects him as well by not letting him cross his own timeline. The TARDIS wanted her to meet the Doctor as a child so it must be important to their relationship.

I don’t want to examine every detail between episodes 2-4, but the episode were the Doctor become much more forward and comfortable with her is “Time Heist” the 5th in this season.

As I watched these episodes a second time it got me wondering how the Doctor developed in regards to how he saw her and his relationship with her. At first pass, my lazy read is that they are really good friends - on a second re-watch by episode 5 “Time Heist” it is quite clear that the Doctor sees their relationship as a relationship where they go on dates (that really always turn into crazy adventures). “Time Heist” starts off with the Doctor staring into her washing machine as he discusses where to go.

His suggestions/monologue are as follows: The Satanic nebula. Or . . the Lagoon of Lost Stars. Or we could go - to Brighton. I’ve got a whole day worked out.

Now, just looking at his suggestions, even with half a brain cell, that looks like the Doctor has planned a day full of activities. Activities that one would generally interpret as a date; albeit a date only a Time Lord would come up with. A Time Lord who has been traveling with her for some time.

He’s acting similar to the 9th and 10th Doctors with Rose, 10th with Martha. Whether or not 9 and 10 wanted to date Rose and Martha is a whole other meta post. What I want to highlight is Mr. Cranky-Stick-Insect-Doctor flat out told Clara he planned a date for the two of them. An entire day long.

Additionally, I tried to look up more information on what it means for a couple to go to Brighton. Some sources imply it is a good place to go on a date from London (which is where Clara lives), another thing I found was that couples that didn’t want to be seen publicly in London would meet up in Brighton. Or it could just imply that the Doctor is being conventional and suggesting it to be tourists in Brighton, just like tourists of the Satanic Nebula and the Lagoon of Lost Stars.

Clara declines his offer as she has plans. She tries to non-verbally let him know that she’s got a date, and as expected he’s slow on the uptake - why is she wearing make up? Why is she in heels?

Their entire conversation seems to be the Doctor completely confused and missing the fact that she’s going on a date with a guy and it is likely the same guy she went on a date with previously which he knew was happening during “Listen”.

This then leads them to robbing the bank of Karabraxos, helping the abused species and just it is another day with the Doctor and the TARDIS helping the universe.

After their adventure to rob the bank, the Doctor proudly returns Clara in time for her date. He’s brought her back at 7:12pm for her evening plans.

Everything about this makes it seem like he’s being a great friend (other than the fact he already got Clara’s attention and delayed her from the date in the first place). He out dated her planned date.

The Doctor then teasingly tells her to not do anything that he wouldn’t do. Clara responds finally and directly that “this is a date.” so after their adventure she’s finally spelled it out what is happening at 7:15pm.

Clara then realizes how she’s going out for another meal after their Chinese take out with Psi and Saibra. The Doctor then pulls her leg that food eaten on the TARDIS doesn’t count, she asks if he’s kidding and in his deadpan straight delivery he points out that he’s kidding. Their dialogue gets very interesting as they then banter back and forth again. Doctor: Bye-bye

Clara: See ya. Don’t rob any banks. Doctor: Don’t rob any banks what?

Doctor looks directly at Clara as she pauses and then nods as she replies. Clara: Without me.

Doctor: ‘course not boss.

Clara exits the TARDIS, you hear the door shutting. Doctor: Robbin’ a bank. Robbin’ a whole bank.

Which leads to:

The camera then pans out and he walks to the TARDIS control panel and pulls the lever. The Doctor is in a good mood, just watch how he walks up to that console with confidence and kicks his leg up with a flourish.

And he’s pretty much in the same pose that Clara was in when she showed off her heels to him when he first asks if she is taller.

So what does this mean? It means that the Doctor clearly saw their bank robbing adventure as a date. It was an adventure and everything went well and he got to have hours of time with Clara before her date with Danny. He won Clara’s attention over Danny.

I see two possibilities i.) he was still oblivious to Clara’s plans being a date and he only recognizes this as a fact when she says so or

ii.) he’s a clever 2000 year old Time Lord and damn well knew she had a date, but he just pretended to not recognize her date b/c he had much better dates planned for them. If he doesn’t acknowledge her dates with Danny than they don’t exist since she’s having all of these “dates” with him.

The 12th Doctor is a very competitive individual, the 10th Doctor also had a similar streak in him to out compete others but 12 is so obvious with his. Therefore, he will compete with every man who vies for Clara’s attention by default. She’s his friend, he cares about her and he actually needs her to care about him and give him the attention he desires from her.

After “Time Heist” the Doctor is bolder and 100% confident in his invitations to Clara.

In “The Caretaker” we get a fast montage of Doctor & Clara adventures wedged in between her dates with Danny. Or are her dates with Danny wedged between her time with the Doctor?

They are stuck on a desert planet and chained to some pillars. Clara apologies to Danny for being late which he notices she isn’t late and she’d gained a tan in a few hours.

The next scene shows her coming out of her bedroom which is across from her living room where the Doctor likes to park the TARDIS. As she comes out her bedroom door, she is clearly dressed up for a date with Danny. Across in her living room he says “Fish people.”

Clara asks what they are like to which the Doctor replies:

He’s got her attention completely, he’s leaning forward his left hand gesturing to her. He then moves his hand towards the TARDIS beckoning her to “Come and see.” Without hesitation she hops into the TARDIS. The next scene shows her getting into a taxi wet as Danny compliments her dress and notices that she’s wet which she explains is a freak shower. She then tries to be casual as she pulls the strand of seaweed out of her hair.

It jumps to a scene of them running in some sort of corridor being shot at by laser guns/blasters as the Doctor then declares he hates soldiers and asks for Clara to agree with him, which she does. With their standard case of running from danger she then gets to open her door to Danny who wants her to go for a morning run with her perhaps on the weekend? Post run Clara declares that she can’t keep doing this - her time with the Doctor is making her time with Danny difficult and it is exhausting as well as hard to explain all the oddities with her in regards to their dates. As Clara calms down she relaxes and declares that she can do this. She’s got everything under control.

And this IS Clara. She has to make sure that everything she does is how she wants it to go.

The next time she willingly enters the TARDIS prepared for an adventure and the Doctor apologizes that there will be no trip today by trying to flatter her because he thinks it works on her. Their body language is interesting as she approaches him as he backs away from her and moves the display monitor at the same time.

They keep their distance from each other for awhile until he stops and explains that he’s going undercover and can’t tell her what it is. The entire time their body language is cat and mouse and she even tries to sneak a look at the monitor before he flips it off. Clara tells the Doctor that he’s being mysterious and goes on to say that as he is a clever person, he is making the mistake of thinking that she is stupid. Clara then points out that he likely can’t do undercover and teases him. He angrily snaps his fingers to open the doors and tells her that he will see her when he sees her. Clara sasses back “When’s that?”, clicking her fingers and shutting the doors forcing him to reopen them repeating that it will be “When I see you!”

She suspiciously strolls around him as she slowly exits the TARDIS and even reopens the door trying to get a look at the monitor as she points out non-verbally that she’s watching him.

The interaction between Clara and the Doctor then is repeated with Danny. He asks if she’s okay since he’s observed that every time he sees her (on dates) she comes to the rushed, in a state, or with a space helmet. Clara tries to blow off his comments by referring to her relationship with the Doctor as a “thing” that she’s had, but doesn’t have currently. Danny doesn’t buy this and reminds her that he isn’t stupid.

So Clara tries to do the exact same things to Danny that the Doctor tries to do to her. The Doctor is beating out Danny when it comes to their dates every single time.

The morning teachers meeting then introduces the Doctor as the new caretaker. Then in front of all of the teachers he introduces himself and winks right at Clara and smiles proudly in her direction! He’s thinking he’s so smooth!

Clara is shocked and the Doctor seems to be giving off the vibe of “Look at how awesome I am undercover Clara! Impressed aren’t you? You are impressed. Tell me you are impressed.”

This entire non-verbal exchange is hilarious because the Doctor is so into his undercover disguise that he thinks he’s all suave and awesome and look at how playful he is. This is the Doctor who when he first regenerated wasn’t sure how to be happy or fun and was scared about getting coffee or chips. Now he’s hamming it up as he’s more confident with Clara. Of course as he keeps going on about how no one is noticing him he boldly lets Clara know that his deep cover is awesome as she angrily gives him a hard time. On top of that, Danny immediately picks up that she knows him as she tries to ignore that he winked at her. When she finally goes back to confront him, he uses his broom to keep her away from him as he remarks that she saw right through his deep cover. He won’t give her any details, but it is clear enough that she knows he’s doing something that has to do with aliens. Due to his status being undercover he tries very hard to push her away and not give her anymore information since whatever the situation is, he will be able to manage it himself. This episode also builds up the tension between the Doctor and Danny. This is highlighted by the fact that as soon as he learns that was in the military the Doctor judges him and makes him a P. E. teacher implying he doesn’t like him and dislikes P. E. teachers as well. Clara puts a lot of effort trying to get the Doctor to realise that Danny is linked to her timeline from “listen” and I’m going to say that the Doctor likely on some level knows there is something with Danny but he’s too judgemental and stubborn to admit it. He argues that Orson Pink doesn’t look like Danny. This could be him just being oblivious but he follows it up by questioning Clara’s observation that Orson Pink must be related to Danny. Adding in that “Who remembers their P.E. teacher?” This statement is contradictory since the Doctor has just associated Orson with Danny (with his nickname of P.E.) and then his statement implies that Danny is totally forgettable. The Doctor even then uses this as a segue way to asking if “he” is here. The one guy that she keeps going on serious dates with? The Doctor doesn’t even look at her when they are talking and she looks very happy during his question.

I wonder if her happy/pleased look is because she’s happy the Doctor is asking her about her personal life? She asks him if he’ll start talking like a human being if she reveals the man to which the Doctor retorts he won’t because he’s being nice.

This then leads to the mix-up where the Doctor thinks she’s seeing the other english teacher who looks like the 11th Doctor. When Clara finally gets him to tell her about his plan, since she knows him well enough to conclude that his plan is dangerous and may involve the school she is annoyed that he keeps it from her in the first place. Though this is in part due to her conclusion because she will disapprove it, he just won’t say anything to prevent her being the boss of him. The Doctor after explaining about the Skovox blitzer that he has a plan and it requires his special watch. He dramatically poses looking right at Clara before he uses it to make himself invisible.

Upon being invisible he then flicks Clara’s nose. She is briefly annoyed but very quickly she goes from being annoyed that he didn’t share things with her to being completely excited by his invisible watch. Thus, the Doctor and Clara are playing with each other again, as he hides from her in plain sight and she loves it.

This is a person who is having a blast. She’s so excited that she even giggles and she says its incredible. The invisible Doctor then states that “Correct. I am both invisible and incredible.” And the two of them start feeding off of each others excitement and she’s ready to help out with capturing the alien.

But the Doctor let’s her know he’s got this one figured out and that she doesn’t need to worry. Instead, he jumps to telling her their next trip will be to ancient Egypt and that she should go canoodle with her boyfriend.

And then the two of them make incorrect assumptions as the Doctor tells her that he knows who she is dating through vague terms that describe the 11th Doctor and the english teacher while Clara thinks he’s referring to Orson Pink in regards to Danny. Clara then takes his advice and runs off to actually follow his advice since the Doctor is insisting she hang out with her boyfriend.

The situation becomes a comedy of errors as Danny cancels on Clara so that he can watch the Doctor and at the same time Clara runs to the Doctor as soon as Danny cancels on her. No date, the only other thing for Clara to do is to hang out with the Doctor and help him out!

Of course Danny messes with the Doctor’s plans and when he figures out that Clara and the Doctor know each other and worse, Danny calls him her Dad. They both look mortified in response to this comment.

And then the totally awkward moment begins as the Doctor decides to erase his memory - and Clara stops him by pointing out that Danny is her boyfriend. The Doctor has the gall to say he isn’t her boyfriend and that she’s made a boyfriend error - she would not date a P.E. teacher or soldier. To rub the salt in Danny’s wounds he suggests that Clara get a dog or a big plant instead.

Ouch.

The Doctor is hurt and upset; this version of the Doctor can be cruel when he’s upset. She argues back that she loves him and then the Doctor is stunned.

He’s so upset that you can see the shock, hurt, and pure disappointment in his face. He would have been okay with the 11th Doctor look-alike as the boyfriend since she’d be dating a ‘version’ of himself.

The Doctor is literally holding back tears here. He looks at Clara, then to Danny, then back to Clara has he has to actually compose his thoughts.

Clara said that she loved Danny. His only retort is “Why would you say that? Is this a part of the surprise play?”

He’s devastated. Clara has just openly said that she loves someone - and that person isn’t the Doctor. Clara stuck with the Doctor after he regenerated and has still be traveling with him and they have grown even closer as a result.

At this point it is clear that the 12th Doctor doesn’t just want Clara to see him as a boyfriend like 11. He loves her. And to hear her tell him that she loves another person, he just can’t handle it.

This version of the Doctor is terrible with his feelings or expressing them well. Additionally, he isn’t good at reading others as he gets upset and tells her it is a roller coaster while he asks why she isn’t dating the bow tie guy as Clara says that he “isn’t her type” (perhaps evidence that she did not see 11 as a boyfriend) and also implies that if 11 isn’t her type - what is her type? At the same time Danny is also reeling from the fact that there is this man, called the Doctor, who is an alien who hangs out with Clara and is clearly very involved with, but never mentioned once. Interestingly, without missing a beat, the Doctor reveals the TARDIS and then Clara begins to explain it, but she whispers to the Doctor what else to say and he tells her to lead to the line that “it is bigger on the inside than on the outside.” Even then when Clara needs a hand the Doctor immediately helps her out even after being hurt so much. Despite seeing the TARDIS, Danny is not convinced by the Doctor’s plans and they immediately argue until he passes Danny off to Clara to deal with as they debate what to do while Danny is completely ignored. As the Doctor bitches about having tons of work to do, Clara asks him if he’s okay. She doesn’t ask Danny, instead she asks the Doctor - likely since he’s upset about how things went wrong and he learned that Clara loves Danny.

Clara then works on getting Danny out of the Doctor’s way and he tells her that Clara still needs to finish the job. She told Danny about the Doctor without explaining Danny to him. He’s right, but his attitude is incredibly aggressive and the Doctor is really hurt. Danny was upset that Clara never told him about the Doctor and it is clear this hurt is vice versa but that the Doctor likely feels like he is owed more since he’s known Clara much longer than Danny. After this completely horrible interaction/nightmare for Clara as Danny and the Doctor have met and it didn’t go well - she is dying for Danny to say something. He summarizes what to Doctor looks but it leads to a very interesting conversation between them. Danny: then he turned into a Scottish care taker and every now and then, when I’m not looking, you elope with him . . . Clara: I don’t elope.

Danny: Do you love him?

Clara: No.

Danny: Really had enough of the lies. Clara: Not in that way. Danny: What other way is there?

Clara: You know what I mean.

Danny: I don’t know what you mean. I know what you tell me isn’t always the truth.

With these lines from Danny it is clear that, i.) he sees that the Doctor is a man who is competing for Clara’s attention with him [which is true].

ii.) he sees that she loves him and he can’t separate the type of love that she feels for Danny and the Doctor.

iii.) by telling her that he knows she’s lying, he’s thinking that she may love the Doctor more than him. Maybe?

This leads into their further conversation where Clara tells him that he knows who she is - but Danny wants to know who she is - when she’s with him. When she is with the Doctor. Which implies that Danny knows that there is a part of Clara that only comes out with the Doctor.

Clara’s clever plan is to have Danny use the invisible watch so he can see that Clara is the same with the Doctor as with him. Just like with the 9th Doctor and Mickey who he called Ricky - the 12th calls Danny Dave instead. Of course the Doctor figures out that Danny is in the TARDIS with them and he tries to distract Clara by saying he’s bored and that he’ll get her back just in time like he has for all of her previous dates.

The Doctor plays dirty as he reminders her that she’s never said “. . .no before, even in the middle of dinner [implied dinner date I take it].” Clara does her best to prevent him from traveling with Danny in the TARDIS and it results in the explosive argument where the Doctor and Danny go straight for each other since neither of them can stand the other. Danny sees the Doctor as an elite and the Doctor thinks Danny isn’t good enough for Clara as a former soldier.

Yes, Danny helps to save the day and Clara is caught between the Doctor and Danny vying for her attention as Danny concludes that he has to be good enough for the Doctor to approve of him. Neither man looks at each other as the Doctor does accept the fact that Danny helped to save the world.

The episode ends with Clara and Danny relaxing as she tries to get Danny to agree with her that the Doctor is a good guy underneath everything and she reveals that she trusts him. Danny wants Clara to trust him and since he knows men like the Doctor he doesn’t want her to become hurt as a result of the Doctor’s actions.

This is interesting since the Doctor obviously wouldn’t want to hurt Clara, the Doctor has always wanted to protect his friends yet this sets up further conflict between the Doctor and Danny.

What I find interesting about Danny is that he assumes that Clara isn’t choosing to do things with the Doctor of her own choice and free will. She does trust him and does crazy things - but from her perspective she’ll be alright - something that Danny does not agree with.

By the end of this episode, the Doctor’s view of his relationship with Clara has been shattered. The man she is dating is NOT the type of man he’d like her to date and it also means that Clara doesn’t feel confident to come clean to her about him. Danny is very upset about her lies to him. Yet, he doesn’t realize that the Doctor is even more hurt and upset about her lies to him. She has know Danny a much shorter time than the Doctor. All around the end of “The Caretaker” leaves everyone completely unhappy and disgruntled.

Clara’s conversation with Danny about her own feelings for the Doctor are unclear to me. Is she denying that she loves the Doctor? Does she not want to admit that she has deep feelings for this Doctor? Or is she uncomfortable with putting a label on their relationship which would the force her to define it. At the end of “Time Heist” the Doctor has defined their activity as a date. He has defined their relationship to himself but not to her.

At the same time, I think Clara refuses to label or recognize their relationship. This would imply that Clara would have to first off define the relationship to herself and then define it to the Doctor and then to others. It is easier for Clara to retreat to a relationship with Danny since he is much less complicated than the Doctor.

What this shows is that at this point in time the Doctor and Clara are failing to communicate with each other even though it is evident that they are in a relationship of some sort, that includes love and crazy dates. I’ll pick up with part 2 starting with episode 7.

#doctor who #doctor who meta #twelfth doctor #12th doctor #clara oswald #twelve x clara #danny pink

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thealogie · 6 years ago

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u said the other night that u would explain the "you go too fast for me" line, i'm not the anon that asked about it but if u would be willing to do so still, i would love to hear ur thoughts. i have a straight friend who laughed at it bc they interpreted it as the surface level "crowley drives really fast" and thought it was intended as a joke and i don't know how to explain to them the depth of that line and i was hoping ur reading ur thoughts might help me articulate mine. thank u

oh yeah absolutely. I should have known that my adhd would get in the way of me remembering to explain it without that ask there to remind me!

Ok I feel like you’re asking me to explain it to people who literally do not have any media literacy so let me take it truly step by step.

Step 1: writers, actors and directors use subtext in film. Literally all stories have SOME KIND of subtext because stories suck without subtext. subtext can be things that are implied about a character’s feelings (eg we kind of know han and leia have feelings for each other before they tell us so), it can be symbols you use to encode your story with political/ideological messages (famous example: the eyes in the great gatsby...the light in the great gatsby...gatsby in the great gatsby), and you use it to create tension and raise the stakes in a scene by making the scene be about two things at once, a surface level thing that moves the story forward and s secondary thing that moves character forward...I wish I could think of any other famous example off the top of my head but the one they use in so many writing classes is basic instinct...the detective interrogates sharon stone “what’s your new book about?” She says “about a detective who falls for the wrong woman.she kills him.” She’s implying he’s gonna fall for her etc. This is super obvious but there can obviously be subtler examples

Ok so premise 2: it’s more likely that a scene or piece of dialogue or plot point serves a purpose beyond its literal meaning when reading it literally (and only literally) would render it completely superfluous to plot or character. This is especially true of gay coding in film. is there any point to Plato having a picture of Alan Ladd in his locker or swinging around a rubber hose like that in Rebel without a Cause if NOT to tell us he’s gay? 10/10 film teachers (all across the Kinsey scale) say nope all of that is there to Drop Hints He’s Gay. Ok at this point if your friends go “obviously that’s just a prop not a plot point that has another purpose as well”...he’s a great example. in BBC Merlin when Arthur is dying he gives his seal to someone to take back to Guinevere, naming her as his successor and then he goes off with Merlin who is trying to cure him and then he dies in Merlin’s arms...on the dvd commentary, as he hands off the seal, the writer of the show said “oh there goes the last vestige of his heterosexuality—i mean marriage!”...like yeah he was half kidding but writers absolutely know this stuff and they know use of subtextual cuss creates a subconscious impression in the viewer’s mind, leading them to the right emotional place (in the Merlin example, even if you don’t read the handing off of the seal as a symbol of him saying “goodbye to his heterosexuality,” it gives you the mental impression that he is easily parting with Gwen and going with Merlin).

Finally in the context of that actual scene: 80% of the conversations aziraphale and crowley have in that montage are completely unnecessary to plot. it’s all about character. By the time we get to the car specifically, we already know aziraphale is anxious about rules but willing to break them, we know these two like each other and we know crowley likes to be nice to aziraphale. So what possible new thing could they communicate? well, lots. even without a gay reading...we get that aziraphale cares enough about crowley to specifically break a rule for him, that he’d rather do this than see crowley in danger, and we also get that crowley wants to hang out and is disappointed that aziraphale won’t come with him. Up to the point where crowley offers to give aziraphale a lift as a thank you, you can be like “ok even if I read this at a surface level, I’m getting new character information, this all makes sense and is communicating new information to me” but it’s utterly pointless to have crowley offer a SECOND TIME and insist “I’ll give you a lift anywhere you want to go” and it really serves no purpose for aziraphale to say “you go too fast for me” in THAT voice if NOT to tell us a subtextual GAY story. What does it add to the story for crowley to offer again and for aziraphale to say I can’t come with you because you go too fast if NOT to also communicate to us something about their relationship? even if you don’t read it romantically it’s just so clear that it communicates crowley being needy and aziraphale being unwilling to get on crowley’s level about breaking the rules/being friends. But it’s clearly romantic (like deliberately meant to build up subtextual “oh it’s forbidden” romantic tension). Look at the performances and directing choices! They matter! he doesn’t say this line in a funny way...this could have been played as a joke. Like aziraphale was using heaven as an excuse the first time he said no to the ride but actually he’s been trying hard to hide that he’s scared of cars going too fast!! I know it doesn’t sound like a good punchline but I could 100% direct that scene to be incredibly funny with no dialogue change. You just need to change the tone and pacing to set up “you go too fast for me crowley” as a comedic reveal...but he says it softly....he says it super seriously and sadly......why.....WHY......

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mimiplaysgames · 5 years ago

Text

Take That Step

Terraqua Week Day 4: Dance

Summary: Terra is a terrible dancer - but he’s fantastic at dancing around his feelings, and it drives Ven crazy. @terraquaweek

Notes: This is a gift to my dear @lyssala!!! I cannot be more grateful for your friendship, your guidance when I’m sad or anxious, your unending support, and your help. There has been way too many days when your belief in me and my writing has helped me through the toughest times. Thank you. <3

Read on AO3.

***

“You know,” Ventus says, in an impish sort of way, “they say that dance is the hidden language of the heart.”

There isn’t a good reason for him to speak to Terra this way - it’s code for Hey Terra, if you’re too scared to tell Aqua how you feel, just dance with her. It’s easy.

And the glare Terra gives back says, Please shut up. She’s standing right over there.

The nerve of the slight fluctuations in Ven’s voice to imply (even by exaggerated standards) that Terra is too scared...

Terra, who sat in darkness for twelve years. Terra, who fought side by side with everyone else at the Keyblade War. Terra, who had the inner strength to face Xehanort and not let himself go to the whims of rage.

And yes, Terra the Brave, who is so intimidated by his best friend that he can’t find the courage to tell her how he’s been kicking himself all this time for never confessing that he wants to kiss her. He still can’t.

Both people are one and the same.

Aqua sends them a smirk but doesn’t say anything… it’s only times like these when Terra reconsiders whether he can read her like a book anymore. How in the world is she interpreting this?

She switches out one vinyl disc for another in the ballroom’s record player, which before the war and the tragedies, was her favorite room to spend her time.

“Another song, Ven,” she asks, starting the player up.

He’s her official dance partner (according to him). What a joy it was for her after he arrived to the Land of Departure for the very first time and they find out he really likes to move to music.

Eraqus tried to find the time to humor her but was always too busy.

Terra… at first was uninterested, and then couldn’t compose himself at the thought of being that close to her for extended periods of time. Thanks, puberty.

Sometimes he wonders if he should suck it up and act his age (Twenty? Thirty-two?).

For the moment, he stands by the sidelines and watches them waltz together. The lounge chair is comfortable, a wooden cane he made for himself leaning idly by the armrest…

“You don’t want to join in?” Ven asks (yells, it’s a ballroom).

Aqua is hesitant enough that they both stop in their tracks, a song of rhythmic horns and pretentious violins rocking out without a care in the background.

Terra decides that he hates questions with multiple, loaded, nuanced answers.

You don’t want to join in? as in Terra, you could be getting some action right now.

And-

You don’t want to join in? as in Terra, maybe some moving around will be good for you, sure you’re ok?

“Sure,” he announces, glancing at his cane and deciding, ultimately, that he won’t need it right now.

Symptoms are strange and erratic. Some days, his body is fine with his exercises, his spars, his runs, his squats and every attempt he makes at keeping up a rigorous schedule like he used to - though he’s nowhere near his prior peak. Then all of a sudden, it gives out, acting like he’s refused to listen to it. It’s a long adjustment just to respect the fact that he’s fatigued all the time.

Aqua starts a silent exchange with him: a look over to see how he’s doing as he stands up, a narrow of her eyes to ask if he’s one hundred percent certain.

He gives her a calm smile in return and she gets it, making room for him by her side.

When worry leaves her face, it’s willed away. She really tries her best. “You remember what to do?” she asks.

His answer is a slow shrug. “All I remember is where to place my hands.”

Ventus sniggers. “I bet.”

It’s already hard enough to keep a straight face around her, but if this damn brat keeps talking…

Aqua rolls her lips in, which in turn makes Terra’s heart beat a little faster, which then makes him wonder if she’s interpreting anything out of Ven’s comment.

Whatever, just keep focused and it’ll blow over.

They start with the posture: her right hand to his left, the others on shoulders -

“You’re supposed to hold her waist,” Ventus corrects (with a smirk). Which is probably true, but it still makes Terra want to backhand him.

Aqua tsks, her gaze somewhere in discussion with a faraway thought. “I know the guy is supposed to lead the dance but...”

Ven’s eyes go wide, a slow nod like a professor who is understanding something profound. “Yeah, that would be a disaster.”

So Aqua’s hand wraps around Terra’s waist instead.

“Very subtle,” Terra says.

“What do you mean?” He might be overthinking it, but there’s a rosy glow to her cheeks.

“You’ve always thought I sucked at dancing.”

“That’s not true.” She rolls her lips in again and dammit, it’s cute. “Those rules were dumb and I know better.”

So she guides him, patient each and every time she tells him that he’s supposed to time his foot at one, switch over after three. She keeps the rhythm by counting sometimes and letting him feel it out for himself in others. He appreciates that she doesn’t mock the fact he’s staring at their feet the entire time.

Letting her get so engrossed with the movement is good for her. He hears it in her voice, the joy skipping through her words, which is such a welcome sound after listening to months of dry melancholy that the Realm of Darkness has beaten into her.

The song ends, letting another with a completely different rhythm take its place and Aqua says that they can simply rock back and forth to this if he wants to keep going - as long as he’s feeling okay.

It’s subtle indeed when she maneuvers their outstretched hands to fold inwards so he can hold them near his chest.

Now he can steal glances at her face, at the way she leans into him. He’s wrestling with a stupid grin that he can’t contain, and he feels it fighting to stay plastered to his face.

Not to mention, Aqua has surely been so much more forward since she’s been back from the Realm of Darkness, taking this slow dance as an opportunity to study his face - really study it in fact. She’s close enough that he can clearly see her eyes taking in all his features, wearing the dorkiest grin he’s seen on her.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“No.” She rolls her lips in before popping them out.

“Ah.” He nods, taking a break from looking at her to try to straighten his smile. “So do you want to continue to stare at me?”

Master Aqua, Keeper of Calm Demeanors, finds herself caught off guard, eyes wide first before they dart somewhere else, a laugh barely escaping before she contains it, cheeks getting redder and redder like a ripening tomato.

It’s always good news to find a new weakness with her. It’s the best tease.

He whips her around, throwing her weight entirely on the breadth of his arm, lowering her near-parallel to the floor in a drop. Like a fancy pose. Or at least he hopes it looks like that.

“Terra!” she laughs through her teeth, and he almost wants to lower her more so her short hair can scrape the floor.

Their noses are inches apart.

“Now you have a better vantage point to look,” he says.

“Pfft,” she glances to her side, like she’s almost too shy - which isn’t like her. “Terra, you’re supposed to do this when the music gets dramatic.”

He hasn’t been listening to the music, his heart has been pounding into his ears. What’s been playing is a lullaby, soft and gentle.

“It’s at least a good photo op,” Ven’s voice interrupts.

Terra’s been enjoying Aqua so much that he jerks his head to find Ven at the lounge chair, playing with his cane.

When he is noticed, Ven raises his eyebrows, mocking shock as he brings his hand to his face. “Oh, did you forget me? It happens quite a lot nowadays.” He sets the cane down with a tap. “You take the phrase ‘Dance like no one’s watching’ to a whole new level.”

Terra clears his throat, heat uncomfortably finding solace in his cheeks. He brings Aqua up, though it’s not as easy as it used to be, his arms trembling as he does so.

Immediately she brushes her hair with fingers, fiddles with her sashes like she needs to straighten them but in reality she’s really doing nothing. Except refuse to look anyone in the eye, a tiny smile betraying every feeling she’s trying to keep safe.

Terra breathes heavily, and now she’s brave enough to face him. “You okay?” She has one arm outstretched in the direction of his cane, and Ven is ready to hand it over.

“Nah, I’m fine.” He rolls his shoulders, telling himself it’s just adrenaline coursing through his arms. He nods over to Ven - that’s always his strategy to recuperate: change the subject. “How did I do?”

Ven shrugs. “You did okay. That ending sucked, though.”

~*~*~*~

This castle is too big for only three people, if the dust building in the seldom-ventured rooms are anything to go by. This wouldn’t be a problem if they have students to roam around, which is another reason to keep things clean - invite them over and give them a nice place to live (and take care of).

Because Terra gets too fatigued easily, Ventus usually shares on the responsibility. Terra gets to scrub the tables in the lounge where they are at now, while Ven takes the floor, both barefoot to avoid crummy stains.

Terra curses his body right this second - if he could clean all by himself, he wouldn’t have to listen to his friend’s nagging.

“I don’t know why you’re not doing anything about it,” Ven says, dipping his sponge into his pail of suddy water and squeezing.

Terra keeps his focus on the surface. “I don’t know why it’s any of your business.”

Ven scoffs. “I’ve been watching the two of you ever since I came here.”

This makes Terra turn around. “What’s that supposed to- Ven, we didn’t ignore you back then… Did we?”

“No, of course not.” He waves his arm in dismissal. “But the way you look at me and the way you look at her have never been the same thing.”

If Ven’s noticed this, then surely Aqua has?

Terra goes back to his table, being the only person in this entire world to have no one really understand him. There’s nothing normal about his body anymore, feeling achy, exhausted and sore like he’s an old man already when he shouldn’t be. Normal is what he wants most. Talking to Aqua about these feelings - it’s uncharted territory, where he’d have to be on alert all the time, and he’s learned that there’s a certain beauty to being able to peacefully enjoy his days.

“I’m just trying to be respectful to her.” That should be enough of an answer.

“Seriously?” Where does Ven get the nerve to sound this exasperated? “That’s fair and all, but you can’t be that dense.”

That sounds suggestive, almost like maybe Aqua had said something to Ven… Nah, it’s a fleeting fantasy.

“You know what,” Ven continues, “why don’t I set you up with a romantic dinner?”

“You can’t cook.” Terra looks over his shoulder. “And you missed a spot,” he spits.

“I did not.”

“You should go check.”

“You should not change the subject.”

“Ven, if you keep at this, I will mop the floor with you.”

“Oh puh-lease.” He’s letting his sponge overflow with soap, spilling over and build into a puddle in front of him. “You might still have the muscles, but I’ve got new moves and I bet I can take you on.”

Terra has his own pail, sitting innocently next to him on the surface of the table. Terra takes this pail and jerks it, splashing all the soapy goodness onto his best friend, the water cascading off his poor little shoulders, his spiked blond hair now gripping for dear life on his face, his clothes droopy and pathetic.

Ven spits excess water out of his mouth and wipes it, but he’s so soaked it doesn’t help. “Terra, what the-”

“I meant that literally.” Terra grabs the boy by the ankles, and begins wide sweeps around the room with as much force as he can muster, fast enough that Ven’s hair, quite like a literal mop, drags on the floor in laps.

“Terra!” Ven’s laughing, his attempt to kick off the grip completely futile, hurling his arms anywhere to see if he can grab something.

He has one success, grabbing the leg of the table which only does so much until it starts to loudly drag along with him.

“Let go of me!” Ven shouts in between his chortles, his shirt climbing up until it covers his face and he shivers from the cold water on his exposed stomach.

“Apologize first.”

“Aqua, help!” He lets go of the table, pulling his shirt back down, spitting a ball of bubbles.

A laugh of his own turns into a shake of his knees down to a wobble of his ankles, where Terra’s last ounce of strength huffs out of his body and he slips, backwards.

Ven’s ruined hairdo is even funnier. Terra helps himself to it, ruffling a tornado through that soaked mess so that he makes a huge ringlet where that usual spike would normally go.

“It looks dumb, doesn’t it?” Ven asks through a smile that makes his face look like a baby’s.

Terra cocks his head. “Yep.”

He shoos Terra’s hand away, flattening the curl in between his palms and irons it out. It looks worse now but if Ven doesn’t know, then it won’t offend him.

Terra at least tries to get up, but yeah, he’s gotten himself really tired this time. It was worth the laugh, though.

“I’ll clean up,” Ven cheerfully offers, already standing up.

“No, I can help, I just need a minute.”

“Yeah right.” A shove from Ven feels like bulldozer to his shoulder, so there on the floor where the water soaks through his pants, Terra has to stay.

Is it embarrassing to watch Ventus finish the room by himself? Most definitely, and maybe somewhere Terra might actually need some guidance in his life, someone to help him even though he doesn’t want to take it. A lot has changed in their lives already - if Eraqus was still around, this room wouldn’t be so filthy to begin with, for example.

~*~*~*~

He’s walking with his cane now, but it really was worth the laugh. Newly showered with an annoying pain shooting down from his elbows to his fingertips, he’s tired but satisfied. Aqua can’t help but notice his limping and escorts him to the library, where there’s a nice couch to lounge on and a fireplace that’s more comfortable.

It’s really late at night, too. Insomnia is right on schedule.

“You’re not sleeping either?” she asks when she takes a seat next to him.

He leans into the backrest. Fluffy couches are the best. “Nah… well maybe. We’ll see. I’m exhausted.”

“I can’t either.” She says it with such confidence that tonight has to be a bad one for her. That happens. Other nights are better.

She has her notebook with her - whether it’s a diary, a personal calendar, or a collection of to-do lists, he doesn’t know, even after the years (decades now?) of knowing her. Opening it to a page, there’s a simple table: a litter of tally marks under his name and under hers. She adds one to each: nights they cannot sleep.

“I’m still ahead of you,” she says, bringing the tip of the notebook to her lips.

He snorts - it’s not really a game he wants her to win when she deserves better. But that’s the inevitable part of life, right? Pain will happen, might as well make a good pastime out of it. “I’ll catch up.”

His fist feels stiff, a numbness tingling in his fingers. It’s not the best feeling to stretch his fingers and move them around, but it’s easier to bend the wrist.

“Are you in pain?”

“Sure am.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be rough-housing Ven so much.”

“Maybe you should teach Ven the joys of keeping his mouth shut.”

“It’s why we love him.” She folds her legs, leaning over to brush her fingertips against his skin, pressing in several areas to read where his tendons are swollen. It’s harmful to massage the bones, so she always starts somewhere else on his arm when his hands act up, gently rubbing the muscle first before going deeper. In times like these, she’s his strength when he doesn’t have any.

The massage may hurt, but he won’t complain about anything to do with Aqua touching him.

There she is again, though, her hands doing their job but she’s staring at his face.

“What now?”

She thinks for a moment and judging from her expression, she’s going to tell the truth this time.

“You have a very specific smile that shows only when you’re nervous.”

“Oh, really?” She does know him too well, he’s as jitty as a bug right now. She’s touching him after all.

She keeps a giggle to herself. “It contorts enough to give you dimples.”

His breath hitches. “It does not.” With his free hand, he digs his fingers into his face, massaging hard enough to get to his gums and force-relax his mouth.

It’s not like he’s admitting anything, but his reaction gives her enough of an indication to smile wider.

“So what are you nervous about?”

This is a hard one to lie out of. “There’s a lot of things. If I’m ever going to beat Ven at a race again, or… if I can’t fight like my prime anymore. You know?” He’s still rubbing his face.

Aqua leans over to match his eyes; he hasn’t been looking at her directly. “Is that all?”

He tries to smile - he doesn’t know what he looks like but he bets he has dimples now.

Something serious comes across Aqua’s mind and her smile falls. She’s still beautiful, but it’s not as much of an enjoyable image to witness. “There are a lot of things, you’re right, that we haven’t talked about.”

He sighs. Haven’t they talked about everything?

Definitely not the nitty-gritty details, but the most necessary ones, yes. It’s unpleasant to venture into that territory: so many tears that can’t be comforted, so many questions that don’t have answers, so much anger that can’t be remedied because there’s so much that can’t be undone.

But if she needs a listening ear, she has one in him.

“Like what?” he asks gently, almost wanting to take her hand but she’s so focused on doing a decent job in relieving his pain.

“Things,” she starts, taking so much of a pause that she stops massaging him. Her words come out slowly, like she’s taking a risky step for each of them. “Like, between us. You know?”

He holds his breath, because if he breathes then he’s going to hyperventilate. “Really?” he asks with too much enthusiasm, like a bad actor.

She rolls her eyes. “You’ve always been a tough nut to crack, Terra.”

He was going to say something dumb like That’s why they call me Terra but there’s a significance to her voice that calls for serious attention.

“I don’t…” Maybe he should be honest this time? “I don’t know what to do or say.”

Aqua works down his forearm, feeling for signs of inflammation, bulges, hardness where it should be more soft, before gliding her hand over his. Rubbing his knuckles with her thumbs, taking fingers in hers. She takes all this time to prepare herself.

“It seems, Terra,” she says with a summoned courage, “that this entire time you’ve been waiting for my permission, I’ve just been waiting for you to kiss me.”

It’s so quiet in the room that a pin could be dropped and he would hear it. She’s there, staring at his hand after her words leave her mouth, and he’s there staring at her like he’s been deaf to them.

If he doesn’t do anything now, then Ventus will surely have a good reason to give him a thousand and one lectures. Lesson learned.

He takes her chin with one hand and properly places his other on her waist. His kiss is apprehensive, softly brushing before slowly pressing, learning the way her lips curve against his, where they flatten, where they stay supple.

Her breath is relieved when she leans back into him, her fingers now in his hair, like she’s thirsty.

It makes him part his lips - ever so slightly - but it’s exactly what she wants, taking him in like she desperately needs to be quenched. Like they’ve been practiced at this sort of thing.

Except they really aren’t. They hit each other’s teeth. They jerk back from the pain, a line of saliva connecting their mouths. The moment they see it, they scramble to clean themselves up. He will never ever ever speak of this to anyone else.

“Mmm,” he says like he thinks she’s delicious while she nervously (so many giggles, so many) hides her face in his collarbone.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he says into her hair.

She lightly smacks his chest. “I was too nervous to bring it up, and I questioned whether you did when we were growing up.” She pulls away, staying close and studying the pores on his nose. There won’t be any dimples there. “I figured when we got back that… I don’t know. Screw it, we’ve wasted so much time.”

A giddy Aqua rolls her lips inward. “Now, I can scratch that off my bucket list,” she says.

He snorts. “Kissing me was one of your life goals?”

He reaches for her notebook - there has to be some sort of confessional in it. But slick Aqua, Master of Evasion, catches it before him and casually tosses it somewhere where the glow of the fireplace can’t reach.

She kisses him on the cheek, like it’s compensation.

“I’m okay with that,” he decides.

“You’re okay with us?”

“I’m more than okay with us, don’t kid around with me.”

“Good. Should we tell Ven?”

The answer he wants to give is yes. “He really wanted to be our matchmaker, though.”

She snorts. “We could let him think he did everything.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Aqua takes one more look over his face, something new like excitement in her eyes, like she’s found faith. She takes his other hand, the one that hasn’t been massaged yet. “Let me help you with this one.”

“No, wait.” He holds her tighter around her waist, not wanting to put any distance in between them for now. “Stay here.”

He lets her take his hand anyway, like they’re preparing to waltz in the couch. But he takes the lead this time, and there’s no reason to move just yet, just let them breathe into their bodies and let the gentle warmth from the fire calm his muscles first. He asks for more kisses, and she responds in kind. It takes time before she berates him to Give up his other hand, he needs it massaged before he gives in and sacrifices the cuddles - at least for now.

***

Notes: The headcanon where Terra has dimples were birthed by Lyssala, it’s her trademark Terra. <3

#terraqua #terqua #terraquaweek #terra #aqua #kh fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfiction #terraqua week #THIS ONE WAS SO MUCH FUN TO DO #my fic

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