#and by annual i mean weekly

[sheep-from-rad]

Imagines: Batfam x Social Media Handler! Reader pt. II

Note: This is a random idea. I also had coffee and I’m now allowed to have coffee because it makes me throw up sometimes. Well, i’ll get on that later but right now let me publish is mini idea Original: Batfam x Social Media handler! reader Masterlist

After coming back from a good two months of annual Wayne paid vacation, you were immediately greeted by a salary raise, a few more tasks added on your weekly routine, an access to the liquor cabinets and a private therapy. 

One of the new tasks added to your weekly routine is playing fan made games. No, not those games made by big companies but those fanmade itch io dating games. It was Stephanie’s idea, she said that it’s a good idea to keep track of fan’s headcanons and see if a thing is too close to their real identity. The rest of the family shrugged at the idea but now you have a throwaway account for all those games in case you need to sign in and a smaller bank account for paid DLCs. 

Unfortunately, from one to two games a week, you now have to review double the amount because Nightwing accidentally quoted a word for word line from one of the dating games during his patrol. Their idols playing their fan made game= happy fans. Happy fans= more games made. More games made=more stuff for you to review. You now record the gameplay as well and you send it to them during their downtimes to share whatever cringe you come across with. 

Reading fanfics also got added to your weekly routine. The Batfam usually just ignore fanfics most of the time until that one Damian Wayne x reader fanfic got viral in the media. The plot is good really, it’s a fake dating turned real dating  AU where Damian blends in the society with fellow vigilante reader by masquerading as lovers at day. It was good but it almost blew his cover as Robin when hardcore readers started following Damian during school time and then following his other persona during patrols. Damian had to exchange patrol schedules with Tim for a week because of the thing. The fanfic reading is a rare task though because Jason already reads most of it during his breaks. 

The pay raise wasn’t just because of the new tasks added to your job, it was also a compensation for every horror you have witnessed and will be witnessing while handling DMs. Handling creepy/flirty DMs is normal given that you’re the first person that will always read them but you forgot the fact that handling DMs means also opening the private and public accounts at 4 a.m. in the morning and suddenly being greeted by nudes. Kate made a good suggestion for Alfred to give you an access to the liquor cabinet because sometimes coffee is really not strong enough. 

Speaking of handling public account DMs, handling Bruce’s public account is like reading the gossip page of the newspaper every morning. His DMs can be sorted to three things: Business related messages (which you redirects to Lucius Fox), party and social gathering invitations, and of course, nudes and ex-flings claiming that Bruce is their kid’s father (and occasional threats that they will ruin Bruce’s reputation if they don’t pay child support or take them back as a romantic partner). Most of the Friday reports are just you making appointments for paternity testings. Of course, how can you forget? You can’t handle Bruce’s DMs around the Batkids. The last time it happened, Jason took control of the account, and posted embarrassing pictures on the business page.

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico really fucking hates capture the flag.

Well, not always. Last week was fun. Last week was the annual Everyone Against The Stolls (to atone for their crimes), and Nico got to chase Connor around at top speeds, cackling, committing his shrieking and begs for mercy to memory. That was nice. That almost made him forgive the fucker for digging a trench under Nico’s unwelcome mat for him to fall into at seven thirty in the godsdamn morning.

But tonight’s game is boring.

He’s been standing, alone, at the base of the flag for the past forty bajillion hours. He’d raised a few dozens skeletons to spar with at first, since animating them to fight himself isn’t technically against the rules, but that got dull fast. (It isn’t much fun sparring with a partner who doesn’t have a brain. He already has to do that enough with Percy when he comes to visit camp.) He’d climbed the various trees around the clearing, or at least he tried until he got reamed by the dryads for climbing on a manner that was too annoying (?), and tried his hands at a few summoning spells. Nothing held his interest long.

And now he’s just standing, doing nothing, and he’s not allowed to leave. He has to stay in this stupid spot on the off chance that someone comes stumbling over to fight him for the flag.

“You’re our best swordsman, she said,” he says mockingly, beaming the nastiest vibes he can manage in Piper’s vague direction. “We need you on our defensive line, she said. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”

His checks his watch. He groans. He looks critically over the grass, looking for a softer patch, and when he locates it he throws himself dramatically upon it, groaning louder.

“This sucks!” he yells, to no one.

“Will you shut up!” shouts back the dryad he pissed off earlier. “For the love of photosynthesis! Fuck!”

He bites his tongue hard to hold back laughter. (If he can avoid getting his entire cabin overgrown with prickle bushes again, that’d be great.) “Sorry,” he calls, trying with everything he has to sound contrite. Convincing his father to fight the Titan War was easier, actually. Acting is not his calling.

“Hmph!”

At least listening to see if she’ll come out and yell at him again provides something to ease his boredom. Yes, he’s going to regret bothering her, but in his defense, solo guarding is cruel and unusual punishment. He’d rather sit by an outlet with a fork and see if he can poke and let go fast enough to avoid dying. That at least would be interesting.

A rustling of leaves recaptures his attention, and he pauses.

“Holly?”

When no one answers, which is odd because she’s taken every opportunity in the last hour to either insult him or pelt him with stones, he lifts his head.

“You’re not going to scare me, dude. I had my fear glands surgically removed to become a better soldier.”

Not true. Obviously. But a fun bonus of being the camp weirdo is that no one doubts anything he says. He’s working on convincing everyone younger than him that he needs weekly tributes of chocolate delivered to his door every Friday or the dead are going to take over the world. So far, it’s working.

“Look, Holly, I’m sorry about the zombie, okay, I promise it didn’t mean to sneeze part of its brain on you —”

The rustling sounds again, only this time Nico can see that it’s not Holly’s tree, and in fact she is nowhere to be found. Alarmed, he jumps to his feet, shifting so he’s balanced on the balls of his feet, poised to attack. Is Piper’s plan failing? Has someone actually managed to make it all the way over here without getting (gently, probably, although they lost the last game and Piper gets cranky without dessert) maimed?

The rustling sounds for a third time. This time, an armoured someone stumbles out of the underbrush, tripping over their own foot and nearly landing flat on their face.

Nico has his sword at their throat in a millisecond.

“Wo-oah, Morbius. That’s probably my least favourite sword you could stab in me.”

Nico goes bright red. “I have never wanted to stab you more than right this second.”

Will, chest plate skewed to the right, quiver completely empty, and black paint smeared under his eyes, snickers. He puts a finger on the tip of Nico’s sword and pushes it away from his neck.

“The opportunity was right there, babe. I couldn’t not.”

“You really, really could. In fact at all times, you should remember these words of wisdom: shut up.”

“…Damn. Inspiring.”

Nico rolls his eyes, but the effect is somewhat lessened by the smile on his face and the obvious pleasure in his expression. He’s even feeling merciful enough to accept Will’s kiss, although his sword keeps a good amount of distance between them. (Will’s on the blue team, after all. It would be unprofessional to be fraternizing with the enemy.

…Well, too much, anyway.)

“What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the other archers, sitting in trees and causing havoc.”

Will shrugs, grinning lazily. “I quit. This game is senselessly violent and I’m Against It On Principle. I’m a pacifist, you know.”

“Uh huh.” Nico raises an eyebrow. “I assume this doesn’t count you choking Cecil out in a headlock, this morning.”

Will opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He closes it again.

“Cecil is my mortal enemy,” he grudges after a moment. “He doesn’t count.”

“‘Course not. Not like you cried for two hours when he went to visit his mom last weekend or anything.”

“Will you — stop saying I cried. I barely teared up, okay. Barely.”

Nico can’t quite force down the stupid grin that pulls across his face, matching Will’s, nor can he resist grabbing the leather straps of his boyfriend’s armour and hauling him close.

“You better not be here to distract me,” he mumbles, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Will hums, settling his hands on Nico’s hips.

“Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Drama queen.”

“Excuse — I am the least dramatic, I’ll have you know. I’m a pinnacle of solemnity. I am a shining beacon of stoicism. I am — mmfh,” He trails off. “Okay, doing this now, mhm.”

Nico smiles triumphantly into the kiss. Will, he has found, is very easy to shut up, despite his long-running nickname of Motormouth. It’s almost like he has an off button that can be accessed only by Nico sticking his tongue in his mouth. Nico is doing his civic duty, honestly. He should be compensated for his service.

(‘Course, doesn’t hurt that Will smells, like, really good, all the time, and his lips are soft as hell and he is actually quite the kisser, in fact. That is definitely a fun bonus.)

He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders, travelling up the sides of his neck and settling in his hair. Will keens, slightly, when he wraps a finger around a frizzy golden curl and tugs, slightly, when he scratches his nails along his scalp. The rush of power at the feeling makes Nico dizzy, and his sword clatters to the ground as he busies himself with more interesting — and important — things.

Like pulling more of those sounds from his boyfriend’s throat. Or making his knees buckle, again, like he did the other night — gods, that was good, it made Will flush scarlet and Nico feel like he was fuckin’ floating, to have Will so needy and touchy and totally at his mercy —

“Free line to the flag! Go go go go!”

Nico startles, whirling towards the sudden cacophony of noises. To his horror, what looks like half the camp, helmets shining with plumes of blue, comes pouring into the clearing, weapons raised, voices mixing in one long, victorious shout. He lunges for his sword, but before he can grab it, two strong arms tighten around his torso, pinning his hands to his side.

Immediately, he knows he’s been set up.

“Oh, you — fucker!”

He feels the curve of Will’s grin against his neck. “First shower privileges for a whole month, baby.” He noses along his jaw, pressing an apologetic kiss to his cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”

Nico struggles, aghast, watching the once-red flag shimmer in Lou Ellen's hold to a bright, shining blue. “I am breaking up with you, you traitor, you Iago, you vixen — ”

Will snorts. He ducks down and pecks Nico on the lips, again, and again, and then shifts to his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his temples, his forehead, and all over his face, making louder and louder mwah sounds until Nico is laughing, punching his shoulder and shoving him away.

“Okay! Okay. Let me go, you villainous toad. We will discuss how much you’ll have to grovel for my forgiveness after Piper finishes yelling at me for getting distracted.”

Will presses one last kiss to his nose, smiling cheekily before stepping away, heading towards his boasting team. “Enjoy that lecture! Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nico rolls his eyes, resting his aching cheek in his hand. “Love you too, asshole.”

[ajesterwrites]

Masterlist

weekly updates!

summary: in a world where Elena Gilbert doesn't exist, you take her place. Four months after your parents' deaths, you return to Mystic Falls, harboring a dark secret. Your entire world spins out of control when you're caught in a turbulent feud between the Salvatore brothers, who vie earnestly for your love.

Please don't steal, copy, or edit my work!

QUICK KEY

reader x stefan chapters will be colored blue

reader x damon chapters will be colored red

*Note: this doesn't mean that pairings won't overlap, just that the assigned color is the main focus of that specific chapter.

season one // tainted hearts

i. first day blues — you prepare for your first day in eleventh grade.

ii. first day magic — while trying to protect jeremy from his addiction, you run into stefan salvatore for the first time.

iii. hitchcock-inspired — you encounter stefan and a mysterious crow for the second time.

iv. date at the mystic grill — when stefan returns your journal, you invite him to the grill to hang out with bonnie and caroline.

v. bridges & bonfires — you bond with stefan at the bonfire.

vi. animal attack — when vicki is attacked at the annual bonfire, you and your friends jump into action.

vii. therapy — you attend a secret therapy session and continue to hide your past.

viii. seize the day — you reconcile with vicki; bonnie and caroline convince you to take a chance with stefan.

ix. the fatalist — you meet damon for the first time.

x. the fashionable miss forbes — you and caroline get ready for the festival, but tragic news puts a damper on your day.

xi. harbinger of heartbreak — It's the night of the comet and heartbreaks await.

[allertonhoe]

a chilly reunion - rafe cameron

❉ 'tis the season ❉

content warnings: original afab!reader, enemies to lovers, frat!rafe mention but you really gotta squint lol, mentions being under the influence/consumption of alcohol + drugs, smoking, suggestive/super fucking angsty ❤️

length: 3.2k words

You loved your mother, but she was an absolute tyrant when it came to the holidays. Since you could remember, your house would be adorned with decorations and knickknacks as soon as Halloween was over, the same being done with string lights and reindeer inflatables in your front yard. And because you lived in Figure 8, it had to be outdone every year. Like some glorified, bougie version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

With that came her annual holiday party, something you'd come to dread. There were certain things you did look forward to—her famous gingerbread cookies, having an excuse to shop for a new, severely overpriced dress, sneaking alcohol with the other 'kids' even though you were all old enough to drink at this point. But it also meant you'd be stuck spending the night with your mother's best friend's stepson, who had become the bane of your existence.

There was just something about Rafe Cameron that always put a sour taste in your mouth, which was ironic judging your parents hit it off right away after meeting when the two of you ended up in the same swim class when you were younger. You weren't a huge fan of his massive ego, and he was equally resistant to your snarky retaliation.

Your distaste toward each other only worsened the older you got, finding he only got more immature throughout the years. You could find common ground and get along with Sarah when you needed to, and Wheezie was a sweetheart, of course. Their brother, however, seemed to always find a way to get on your every last nerve.

You couldn't begin to describe how relieved you were when he went off to UNC for school, only having to deal with his pestering a few times a year now instead of every single day. And from what you overheard Rose telling your mom during their weekly tea, he'd gotten some fancy internship that had taken up most of his schedule and might prevent him from making it home in time for Christmas. It couldn't just be that easy, though.

About an hour after people began arriving, you recognized a new voice that had the room, scowling when you realized the person you'd been hoping to avoid did in fact show up. What did catch you off-guard was his appearance. Instead of the notably temperamental kid you'd grown up with, stood a well-distinguished man that had actually managed to embody the intimidating attitude he'd carried since he was young.

His hair had been buzzed down. His arms evidently buffer than when you'd seen him last, even underneath the bulky college varsity jacket he wore. He waltzed in breezily, greeting the group he normally hung around as they scrutinized him on his recent success at university. Not realizing your gaze had been fixed on him, flustered as he caught you in the act and shot you a wink.

You'd gone to get more wine when you noticed the table wasn't too crowded, having lost count of which drink you were on. A hand bumping your own as you reached for the bottle of your favourite Merlot, having saved it especially to enjoy and finish off tonight. You could tell by the signature golden ring sitting on their pointer finger, however, that it wasn't any of your friends.

"What do you think you're doing?" you interrogate, shooting daggers at the boy who didn't seem too bothered by your threat. Not that he ever was.

"Trying to enjoy some good wine?" Rafe indicates as if the answer was obvious.

"That's not for you." you dispute, struggling to take it from him.

"I didn't realize it was off-limits," he relinquishes, throwing his arms up in mock surrender as he lets you take it back. "Can't say I'm too surprised, though. I mean, it is you."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you survey, hearing him snicker as he went for a different bottle of red.

"You're just very particular. You pretend like we haven't known each other as long as we have." he remarks in an almost menacing way.

"You don't know me." you argue plainly.

"Oh yeah? Still no boyfriend this year?" he accosts you smoothly, his unfaltering arrogance pissing you off the most.

"Still a pain in the ass?" you mimic, only causing your tormenter to start laughing.

"At least I don't have a huge stick lodged up mine, princess," he taunts devilishly, the familiar nickname dripping from his tongue like venom. "Let me know if I can sort that out for you."

"You're fucking insufferable." You scold, cringing as you saw him drink straight from the bottle he'd claimed as you poured the rest of the Bordeaux into your cup. As you took your opportunity to abandon the conversation, he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

"Do you mind just showing me where I can head for a smoke? Don't want to upset Mom," he seeked, referring to your own mother.

"Yeah, fine." you agree hastily as you led him off, not checking to see whether he was even following you.

You were confused by his request, judging how many times he'd been at your house over the years, but just did it since you knew he was relatively correct. Knowing your mother, she'd throw a fit and reprimand you if there were any traces of drugs inside. She believed Rafe was an angel—a sweet, innocent boy who never did anything wrong, even when he did admit to it; even after hearing all the distress he'd put his own poor stepmother through when he'd frequently cause trouble in his adolescence.

You passed the ballroom full of intoxicated adults and continued towards the back of the property, frosty air immediately hitting as you slid the door open. He walked past you as if he owned the place, like he was always around and not just once or twice a year. You were about to go back to the party, but Rafe turned around and gestured for you to accompany him.

"It's freezing," you protest, crossing your arms as the breeze blew inside.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and snatched his gear, not anticipating for him to shrug off his jacket and extend it to you. You weren't too sure why, but you complied, reaching out and accepting it as you shut the screen behind the two of you. The loud commotion of the dinner was muffled, the glass acting as a barrier between all of the chaos and the calm evening. Hearing the spark of his lighter as you became distracted by the night sky, being met with the aroma of something that wasn't tobacco.

"Can I get a hit?" you ask, noticing that Rafe had been observing you.

"Please," he offers out after taking another drag for himself.

You could feel him staring as you brought the spliff to your lips, instantly choking on the substance since it wasn't something you typically partook in. Doubling over as you gasped for air, you felt him rub the small of your back gently. You hadn't expected it, but still appreciated it even though the thin material didn't do much to actually console you.

When you did regain the strength to straighten back up, you were relieved that he wasn't outwardly making fun of you for being unable to handle the dope despite his clearly amused grin. Taking the joint from your grasp but not returning to it right away, instead studying your reaction.

It wasn't the smartest decision, but you took a swig of your drink to attempt soothing your fit, only to find it blurred your judgment even more. You could feel your cheeks reddening, attributing it to the cool temperature rather than his unwavering focus on you. His hands being set firmly on your waist might've had something to do with it too, but you'd never tell him that.

"Not a regular habit of yours?" he speculates, sounding much less patronizing than he had been until this point.

"I've smoked weed," you defend briskly, unsure why you felt the need to confirm that to him. "Some of us just aren't chain smoking all day, every day."

"Stop being so stubborn," he rolls his eyes at your bickering. "Let me help you out." he proposes, watching the way his plump lips wrapped around the filter once more.

The vapor fanned across your face as he exhaled, your high elevating as it enveloped the air around you. You couldn't comprehend how you found yourself in this spot with him of all people, the ordeal finishing as quickly as it started when he backed away after a few seconds. As much as you wanted to fault it to some drunken blunder or mistaken interpretation, his fierce and unmoving gaze implied otherwise.

He stood in front of you nonchalantly, as if he was debating his next move, still close enough that you felt his warm breath. Chills rising even as you felt his body heat radiating towards you, the jacket not doing enough since your legs were still exposed due to your skimpy dress. You considered hugging it closer, but you were overwhelmed enough by Rafe's presence for some reason that you weren't entirely sure if it would just send you into a deeper spiral.

"Was that better?" he implores after the brief silence, his voice low and raspy. You couldn't find the words to reply, just nodding as he took another huff of the plant. "So shy all of a sudden? Not like you..." he observed with the raise of his brow. Letting the wisps escape from his lips agonizingly, a mundane activity on his part but seamlessly capturing your attention.

"Do you ever shut up?" you grumble rhetorically, not wanting to reveal how dumbfounded you were at him.

"Make me," he maintains playfully, leaning into you again.

He blew the smoke directly into your mouth this time, feeling his barely brush your own before pulling away as if it were nothing. A new sensation hitting your skin as you could only see his tilted head in your eyeline, realizing he was pecking lightly along your jaw. Your palms flying to him instinctively, one resting on his chest and the other around his neck but in no way pushing him away. His unoccupied hand sliding onto your waist and under his jacket, feeling his cold grip through the lame excuse of a dress you decided to wear.

"Rafe," you whisper, although the scene around you was tranquil. "What are you doing?"

"Shutting up," he affirms lazily, slowly working his way down your nape. "Are you questioning my methods? Just doing what you wanted..." he persisted, a hushed whimper leaving you as he nipped at your skin.

"Are you flirting with me, Cameron?" you solicit apprehensively, feeling him smirk into your neck.

"Depends. Is it working?" he instigates, making sure he left a mark.

You'd just reduced it down to petty rivalry over the years but never actually considered his endless teasing had a more suggestive context behind it. There was no denying he was incredibly attractive, looking like he could be the textbook definition of the boy-next-door from his appearance but actually being the complete opposite personality-wise.

You'd had brief crushes on him while growing up, nothing you'd ever act on, and ultimately reducing it down to a cute haircut or flash of a smile after a few weeks. You felt disgruntled when he'd brought girlfriends or whatever they were to him in the past, figuring you were unsettled by the PDA and intrusion by some random outsider on your intimate get-together. But you hadn't thought maybe it was because you wanted to be in their position instead.

"You can't think I'm just that simple," you scoff apathetically.

"I know you're that simple, baby," he proclaims, the nickname affecting you more than you'd ever admit.

"Well, I'm not desperate then." you clarify rigidly.

"Is that what you think it is?" he quizzes smugly, inhaling from the filter once more.

What happened next was pathetic and you knew it, falling back into his trap as he repeated his previous actions, if you could even still consider it a trap. Grazing his lips against yours delicately, his demeanor the opposite from his expected brashness. There had always been an underlying tension you felt while in his presence, but it was much more charged than hostile at the moment. Wanting to blame it on the mixture of substances you'd lost track of or your lack of awareness. Hell, just the idea of being caught by either of your parents should've been sobering enough.

"You look good tonight," he praises slyly.

"That isn't anything new, Rafe," you contend.

"Didn't say it was."

"Feels a bit convenient," you accuse, breaking eye contact for the first time but not for too long when he took hold of your chin and twisted it back towards him. "Back home with none of your usual sorority girls doting around. Wanna get your energy out somewhere."

"We both know there's a list of girls I could've called up when I got back here. I was looking forward to seeing you the most though." He banters.

You continued back and forth with the makeshift routine you'd fallen into, Rafe puffing through the spliff without issue and transferring the remnants into your mouth. Blurring the lines of whatever you could even call your rapport, now blowing smoke down each other's throats instead of clawing at them. You didn't know why his behaviour had switched so abruptly towards you, but you weren't finding any drawbacks from your end of it. Only becoming suspicious when you saw a sleazy grin settle on his face as he finished the last of the roach.

"What?" you ask as he nods towards the edge of the awning that had been covering you.

Your eyes widened when you spotted the unmistakable sight of mistletoe, not having noticed the bunch of herbs hanging there until Rafe pointed it out. Assuming your mom had hung it up earlier to mess with her own friends when they eventually snuck outside. When you glanced back at him, however, he was staring at your lips again, not having any more excuse to skim his against yours now that he'd finished his joint.

You were still reeling over his sudden declaration, the haze of your state making it even more difficult to digest his bold admission. Finding yourself fixating on certain traits of his that you didn't generally pay attention to instead of being able to come up with some witty response. His irises a striking baby blue that was impossible to miss, the faint stubble peppered above his lips and along his jawline, how defined his features looked now due to his shaved head.

"I let you smoke most of my weed. I think it's the least you could do." he concludes.

"Smooth." you note.

"Well, that wasn't a no," he drawls. "Just a little one. No one has to know if that's what you're really worried about, princess."

"You really can't help yourself, can you?" you counter at his insistence.

"Isn't it bad luck if we don't? It's like seven years of terrible sex or something." he challenges further.

"That's such bullshit," you huff in frustration. "You know, maybe if you weren't such a jackass-"

That's when he cut you off by doing the inevitable, closing the gap between you and actually kissing you properly. It was clumsy and impassioned and absolutely indecent, like it had been building up for as long as you'd known each other. Rafe manhandling you and pulling you in as close as possible, his hands digging into your ass like he was holding on for dear life. Smirking proudly as he swallowed all the soft sounds he was able to coax from you, effortlessly stripping down your walls and lowering your defenses towards him.

He directed you backwards so your body rested against the house, towering over you and boxing you in with his arms as if you were planning on running off. Like there was no chance of anyone walking out and catching you any minute. Like you weren't just supposed to retreat back to the gathering normally after this when all you wanted to do was drag him up to your bedroom.

"I never realized you felt so strongly." he asserts cheekily when you finally broke apart to regain some composure.

"Don't act so fucking innocent, Cameron." you insinuate.

"There she is," he utters menacingly, causing you to shiver as he swiped his thumb down your bottom lip. "Fucking know-it-all."

"You didn't seem too opposed," you retort. "But I do need to return to my guests. They're probably wondering where I went."

"Can't say I'm as concerned," he dismisses bluntly. "Doesn't seem like our presence is missed either. We both know that everyone is way too drunk to even realize at this point."

"What's got you smitten all of the sudden?" you examine curiously.

"I already told you," he interjects. "Not as sudden as you might believe. Do you really think I show up to this shit every year just for the free booze?"

"Well, I also figured it was to be a pest," you sneer.

"Just to you," he quips as you grill him warily. "Stop overthinking it. Trust me, yeah?" He mutters, brushing some hair behind your ear before bringing his mouth back to yours.

He didn't go in as urgently as he first had, lips expertly massaging yours, swiping his tongue across your bottom one in what was probably the first instance he'd sought your consensus on anything. Your fingers finding their way to his head, running them over his buzzcut and lightly scratching his scalp, earning a low growl from him. You'd never been kissed like that—with such disregard and desire and need. Need you were absolutely reciprocating.

He also wasn't wrong about everyone being too wasted to realize either of you had disappeared, the two of you losing track of time as you became more and more enamored with the other. Maybe it was the safety of the dark. Always having fantasized about getting whisked into the shadows of the night by some daring suitor, you just never presumed it would've been with Rafe of all people. And that you weren't completely appalled by it.

When you'd eventually gone back inside, it was probably evident where you'd gone if no one resolved it by that point. Faces flushed from your lengthy encounter in the frigid weather, your unblemished lip gloss now smudged across both of your mouths. His arm resting comfortably around your waist as you kept his coat clutched over your figure, fitting into his embrace like you were two pieces of a puzzle.

Provocative comments that usually would've bothered you were now being mumbled into your ear explicitly, finding yourself mindlessly giggling along instead of finding them intolerable. The two of you in a shared daze as you clung onto him for the rest of the evening, as if this was the way you'd always acted towards each other. It felt strange, but it felt oddly familiar in a sense too. Like this was somehow always inevitable, although you'd never actually considered it.

note: i wrote this sometime last year off a prompt i found somewhere lolol also didn't edit much so sorry in advance if its kinda wordy. there isn't a part 2 planned but if you guys want it, let me know and i'm totally open to writing it if enough people are interested !!

[kennys-parka-jacket]

I understand why some people don't consider seasons 1-4 canon. But in my heart I can't accept that because that means erasing:

-2/3 of the kenny babies

-kenny's curse affecting him on a daily or weekly basis, as opposed to only about once annually

-kenny sacrificing his life to bring back power to a hospital

-zombie and ghost kenny

-like 90% of the mccormicks' dynamics including their focus on faith, carol's inability to cook, stuart being a jobless alcoholic, most of kevin's dialogue, a big percentage of kevin and kenny's interactions as brothers, stuart's bitterness about becoming his father, etc

-shelly's trauma about being groomed, the way she stood up for herself by getting revenge on her abuser, and the friendship she formed with eric as a result

-star quarterback stan

-stan being unable to use a gun properly because of his soft spot for animals and becoming desperate for the approval of his uncle

-most of ned and jimbo's screentime

-like half of eric's catchphrases

-most of barbrady's role as the only cop in town

-pretty much everything to do with pip

-santa and jesus being buddies

-at least 3 of the canon relationships among the main 4

-sheila committing mass murder in the name of keeping children safe from harmful media

-garrison's mr hat arc

-so much more

Like, I get it. But I just can't!!

[webslingingslasher]

every job should pay weekly i love and have always loved a job that pays weekly

peter would probably work a stem job that paid weekly

he'd be making so much money.

let's say you don't know how much peter makes, you have an idea based on his lifestyle but you don't have an exact amount. i mean, at this point i'd imagine you'd live together.

and peter, by his own admission, suggested he pay a bit more than you did for the bills. i'm talking like a seventy/thirty split. and you felt bad but he promised you it was only fair because he made more money. how much more? you didn't know.

but one day, peter called and asked you to send him some of his paystubs for something at the bank, therefore giving you full permission to snoop in his finances and holy fucking shit, you gape at the number.

you call him back immediately.

'this is monthly, right?'

'no, it's weekly. just the most recent five should be fine.'

you gasp at his answer, 'weekly?' peter's concerned for a moment, 'yeah? does it say something different?'

'no, it's saying a whole fucking lot of dollar signs.' you read over the number again, 'do you know how much this is? like, annually?'

'i do.' his tone doesn't match your shock, you amp it up. 'six fucking figures! thats how much it is, jesus christ, no wonder you're talking about houses!'

you hear the smile in voice, 'it pays to date the nerd, doesn't it?'

[thedupshadove]

Weird hypothetical inspired by an OC I'm rolling around in my head: If you had to spend half the year as a woman and half the year as a man, when would you want the switches to happen?

Qualifiers:

I don't just mean "living as a man" and "living as a woman"; we're talking about a physical transformation.

Additionally, this is strictly a bi-annual transformation--no being clever and saying "Well I would switch off daily or weekly but it would add up to six months each". But, as long as the two dates are exactly six months apart, you can put them anywhere you like. June 1st and December 1st? Spring and Fall Equinox? Two seemingly-random dates that are significant to you? You name it!

The OC in question has their internal sense of gender change along with their body, so for our purposes assume that you would too. This question isn't supposed to be about "Six months of dysphoria"; it's supposed to be about "What time of year would you prefer to spend as each gender."

[dragonshanty]

Happy Captain Bierto Wednesday, Sweet Ones!

It’s been a while since we talked. Are you doing okay? Been weathering the storms as best you can? It’s wonderful to see you again. Come in, come in! There’s always tea and a warm seat for you by the fire at the Lighthouse.

Since Dragon Shanty’s release, fans have been celebrating our beloved Captain Bierto with a weekly holiday of sorts, especially in our Discord server. I wanted to celebrate this Captain Bierto Wednesday by letting you all know what’s been going on behind the curtain. I’ve been working on revamping and remastering Dragon Shanty, with the help of a network! That means more resources to make it into the show my heart has always wanted it to be. I’m so excited to bring it to life and keep this world going with all of you. Thank you all so much for keeping the light on with me over the years, it’s really helped keep this story going. And if you’re just joining us — welcome! We’re so glad you’re here.

I’ll be keeping this tumblr updated now that Dragon Shanty is picking up again, so keep an eye out! And while we all wait for our next big journey together, the original episodes and transcripts will still be up on dragonshanty.com.

Speaking of our Discord server, I wanted to give a special shoutout to @adoraslastbraincell for winning our first annual Meme Contest! We’re still chuckling at these beauties. Incredible work!

I can’t wait to share the rest of this adventure with you all. Happy Captain Bierto Wednesday!

[arielburrow]

Joe being nervous of you meeting his family

Pumpkin Pie

nothing like a Thanksgiving fic in June 🤭

Fall in Ohio was definitely your favorite time of the year. The leaves changing always signaled to you mentally that football season was in full swing and the holidays were around the corner.

You take in the scenery for a moment before continuing to your boyfriends front door. “Joe!” you call out, entering his home.

“Hey you!” he welcomes you with a warm hug after being away from each other for a week. You traveled to Pennsylvania to visit family and attend an event with other NFL photographers that the league hosted annually.

“How was your trip? How’s your mom doing?” he questions as you both take a seat on the couch.

“Shes doing good, I saw my sister, it was really nice to be home for a bit and see everyone before they leave.” Your mom was traveling to Europe with her lifelong best friend, which you were a little concerned about at her age, but she insisted it had to be checked off the bucket list. Your sister was also heading to Florida to stay with her husband’s family for Thanksgiving, so your mom wanted everyone to be together since you’d be apart for the holiday.

“That’s good to hear, but i’m glad your back, I missed you a lot.” He smirks pulling you to his chest.

“I know Joe I missed you too, you know it’s funny we’ve only been officially dating for a month and I don’t even like being apart from you for a week.” You giggle into his chest.

“Yep. Joe Burrow effect.” He innocently shrugs receiving a nudge from you causing him to laugh.

“Hey I have a question….” he leads on. You look up to him with a bit of concern.

“Can you…I mean….do you by any chance like pumpkin pie?”

You laugh at his demeanor, he seemed almost scared for your response. “ I love pumpkin pie Joe, why do you ask?”

“oh thank GOD.” he looks almost relieved as he stands from the couch and walks to the fridge. You watch as he pulls a Costco pumpkin pie from the fridge, this of course being the only thing in the fridge besides a bottle of ketchup. He grabs two forks and heads back to you, placing the pie between you two and handing you a fork.

“Here.” he smiles and reaches for the remote to find a movie.

“Plates?” you ask.

“Nope, we don’t need them.” he insists.

“alright then.”

After a long night of Joe showing you how much he missed you, you got up early for a workout with your best friend.

She catches you up on her guy drama and you fill her in on Joe.

“Oh so you’re going to Thanksgiving with Joe’s family? That’ll be fun!” She responds to you’re blurb about you being home for the holiday.

You whip your head towards her as you both push through the stairmaster.

“Um what?” You respond in complete shock at your assumption.

“Well yeah…I mean, what is Joe gonna do, drive to Athens and leave you here for Thanksgiving? No way, he’s gonna want you to go with him.”

“I’ve never met his family before though, he makes them sound so sweet but that’s like a huge thing.” You respond between huffs, wiping your hand of the sweat along your forehead.

The two of you go back in forth on the conversation as you finish your workout. Leaving the gym you couldn’t help but to overthink the situation. Was Joe assuming you would just go with him? He might not even be considering it?

After showering and ordering takeout, you finally have time to wind down in your own apartment. You were finishing up some editing when Joe texted.

Joe❤️- dinner tmr night, I’m cooking

you- you mean your chef is cooking?

Joe❤️-😉

The next day you spend at the facility and finishing up more editing. Heading to Joe’s house the question rings through your head again. Does he want me to meet his parents?

You can immediately smell the fajitas Joe requests weekly as you walk into his house. You greet his chef and make your way upstairs do find him on the phone with someone. You walk into his room quietly and plop down next to him, soon able to put together that he must be talking to his mother. As he hangs up he turns back to face you, pulling you into him. “You hungry?” he questions. “Starving” you respond pulling him up from the bed to go back downstairs.

You both take a seat at the table as the chef brings over the food; both expressing your gratitude for the meal, after all, neither of you could cook. Without Joe’s chef, takeout would be the only option. You both make small talk throughout dinner and go over each others days.

“I heard you talking to your mom, how is she doing?” you ask picking up the glass of water. “She’s good, she was just checking in on things, asking me about Thanksgiving and stuff. I’m on pumpkin pie duty because she knows i’m picky about where the pie is from.” He babbles on, you laugh at the pie comment. “You know i’ve know you for almost a year and was given no insight into the punpkin pie fanatic that you are.” he gives you a surprised look. “Umm, what do you mean? Friendsgiving last year? At Jamarr’s? The pie that everyone was raving about…the one that I brought.” He goes on bragging about this situation which you have zero memory of, but give him the credit any way.

“So, since your family’s all out of town, what are you going to do for the holiday?” he looks up to you with seemingly hopeful eyes. “Um I don’t really know honestly, maybe i’ll just hang around here or go to Anna’s place?” you responded taking both of your plates to the sink.

“Why don’t you come with me?” he asks. “To Athens for the night, we won’t stay long cause of practice and everything but it would be nice for you to meet my family” he picks up the dishes to clean as you seat yourself in a barstool across from him.

“You’re ready for me to meet them?” you ask watching him load the dishwasher. “Yeah, I mean i’ve been wanting you guys to meet for a long time and they never get to see you at games cause your always on the field.” he says.

You think for a moment, then smile. “Yeah i’ll go with you.” He smiles in return, walking over to you and sitting with you on the couch. “Can you stay tonight?” He asks pushing a strand of hair from your face. “I have to go to the office early tomorrow, like earlier then you go for practice,” you say to him. “That’s fine, I have to meet with Brian anyway.” he returns. “Okay then, im staying,” you respond shifting yourself to lay in his lap as he finds a show to watch. “My moms going to be so happy your coming,” you smile as you hear him say it before dozing off.

A week later your packing a bag for Joe’s house. You were heading over there tonight, and leaving tomorrow morning for his parents house. You had him on FaceTime at the moment as you got everything together. “I hope you like them, I mean i know they’ll love you, but I hope you like them and-”

“Joe” you cut him off laughing. “They’re you’re parents, i’m going to love them, don’t you worry. I’m the one whose supposed to be nervous not you!” you giggle. “I know, I know, it’s just really important to me you know? I love you and I want you to feel like you’re apart of the family.” You smile at what he says. You and Joe confessed your love for one an other a while ago, but it still made you blush hearing him say the phrase. “I love you too Joe, and I promise i’m so excited to become apart of your family.” You pick up the phone to see his face. You and Joe had a funny dynamic. Technically you had only been together for a month, but you fell for him way before that. The day you were hired by the Bengals you knew there would be a professional problem because you became addicted to him. His looks, his jokes, just being around him was like a drug for you and you knew there was no escaping. You were definitely a little nervous about meeting his parents, but you were excited that this was happening. It made this whole dream feel a little more real.

The next morning you wake up in Joes arms. The two of you spend the morning getting ready and Joe expressing his little worries to you which you insisted he stoped talking about. “You know they’re going to drown you with questions right?” He asks you getting in the car. “Joe, that’s okay, all you need to worry about is your pumpkin pie.” You console him cupping his cheeks as you lean over to kiss them. He glances to the backseat to ensure it’s there, making you laugh.

The drive to Athens is quiet and relaxing, you let Joe have aux for about 15 minutes before you steal the cord. Pulling into his parents driveway, you take in the old red brick home that seems to be gushing with childhood memories. Joe’s parents appear and you meet them with a warm hug and hello. Robin hugs Joe tightly after not seeing him for a few weeks. Walking into the house you’re immediate hit with the sweet smell of cinnamon spice and you can’t help but smile. The four of you take a seat on the couch and Robin explains that others will be joining soon. She asks about your job and how you like working with the organization. “It’s honestly amazing, I worked in Seattle for a while, but it doesn’t even compare to this organization, and it’s nice to be able to work back in my home state,” you say. “It’s definitely something special, they really care.” Jimmy chimes in with a smile. After some more small talk Joe and his dad talk football while Robin gathers photo albums. She sits with you as she shows you baby Joe and gives you a backstory on the pictures. You die over each picture which Joe rolls his eyes at. “I was three!” he yells over your reaction to the picture of him running bare naked in the street with a football in his hand.

You could immediately tell Joes parents were something special, they are a big part of the man he is today and you were so happy you got to join the Burrows.

Others arrive soon after, and the house fills with chatter. You make your way around meeting the others and saying hi to Joes friends who also joined dinner, who you have met before.

You help Robin and Joes aunts in the kitchen for a while, the four of you chattering for hours before Joe pulls you aside.

“So?” he asks. “So what Joey? You want a rating on your family? I love them, I love all of this, I promise. Stop overthinking this and go sit with your friends.” You reach up to kiss him on the cheek and he smiles and nods.

You finish helping with dinner and setting the table with Joe. You all finally sit down together, the table beaming with chatter and laughter. “Thank you all for being with us, those of you who were on time, and those who showed up five minutes ago.” Jimmy says glancing towards Joes brothers, causing everyone to laugh. “I’m just kidding, but really it’s nice to have everyone under the same roof for the holiday.” “we love you all, now please eat!” Robin adds with a smile. You make small talk with different relatives at the table and with Joe. After dinner, you sit with Robin and Joe’s aunts, while the guys do the dishes.

“So y/n, you and Joe are absolutely adorable, really I know that boy and how he is with girls and he is really in love with you.” His mom’s sister comments with a smile. You return the smile and you can’t lie that you felt a blush from that comment. You loved that she picked up on that. “Do you see your family often?” the other sister asks. “Sometimes, most of them are in Pennsylvania so they come to games some times and I just went up there last week to visit.” you respond. Everyone joins in the living room as Joe serves the pumpkin pie. Robin puts on a Christmas movie, insisting that it was now Christmas season, which you couldn’t argue with.

Joe takes a seat next to you and you rest your head on his shoulder. The rest of the night is filled with reminiscing on childhoods and lots of football. You hug everyone goodbye and Robin pulls you in tight. “Thank you y/n” she whispers “he really needs you” she smiles and moves to hug Joe goodbye. The drive home is again a comfortable silence that you happily doze off to, knowing you’re family just expanded tremendously.

[icarusredwings]

Various head canons for my Saxteen/ Temple Noble household series.

As the board of headcanons, I declare these headcanons as offical.

Shout outs for the ideas or just being OGs:

@roxannepolice

@kidshows-are-life

@strobbiery

@the--quotifyer--innit

@huntersroses

Now- Onto the headcanons!

-Sylvia still gets nervous when the Doctor does weird shit and will often tell him off for it (which often backfires)

"why cant you be like that one? Sit quietly and stop catching the kitchen on fire!"

".....Him? You mean... The master?? You know he eats people right?"

".... Dont be like him then. I take it back."

-They take bubble baths together quite often

-Rosie has given Sax advice on which brands of make up to buy (vegan or cruelty free)

-Sometimes Wilf and Shaun witness a weekly ritual of donna, rosie, and two old gays doing face masks, nails, and other 'sleep over' things in the kitchen. They call it Gals night.

-When Shaun questions it even in the slightest, 14 responds with "Were all girls here."

"Even him?" *points to sax whos passed out cold with cucumbers on his eyes* "well not yet. But yes."

"Not yet??"

"Alien stuff hon. Alien stuff."

"Regenerative alien stuff to be exact!"

-Shaun was actually very excited when Rose came out because he had always wanted to be a girl dad. Sometimes, he asks her paint his nails and wishes that she was young enough to have tea parties with.

-This being mentioned leads to everyone in the house participating in the South France House Annual Tea Party (14 even gave out offical invitations) Everyone gets a boa and a crown. Saxons crown is not cheap plastic, though. It is real. He demanded it to be. Even wilf has on a pink boa in his wheel chair.

-The evening is filled with tiny sandwitches, tea of all kinds, donna talking about Agatha Christie, the time she almost got murdered by a massive bug, and 14 dosing his husband with catmint tea (which makes him very purry)

-Rosie sleeps with a bonnet. So does saxon. He thinks itll stop him from balding.

-When walking to the store, They hold each other. Depending on the day, it's the Master on the Doctors arm or vise versa. Sometimes, they'll hold pinkies. The Master HAS bitten someone for negativaly commenting about it

-The Doctor falls asleep on the loo sometimes

-Shaun is so madly in love with the new Donna and will sit and stare at her while asking math questions in utter awe. Hes OBSESSED with her, of course he loved her before but now its like meeting a newer, BRIGHTER, happier Donna and he constantly is taking her on dates, getting flustard, and is more handsy. This overall has improved their marriage (not that it was in any danger to begin with)

-When the two are being flirty and frisky in the kitchen, Rose will audibly say "GAG" and then walk away

-Wilfred is very happy to see his grand daughter shine, and you can find him repeating his favorite stories from when she was just a girl. It's part of his Alzheimer's.

-Wilfred sometimes forgets that the Doctor isn't actually his real son and will refer to him as his child when talking to people, and depending on who the person is, the doctor won't correct him.

-The Doctor is trying to grow his hair out to put them in braids. Unfortunately, he gets sneezy rosemary oil, so he uses a lot of castor oil and rose oils. (The Master thinks he stinks when he does this)

-The master suggests dying his greys but the Doctor refuses, wanting to be a "Silver fox"

-The master, to this day, uses the exact same box dye that he did all those years ago. His hair is fried, LMAO

-Rosie has made the master a stuffy called Shadow. Sylvia once got bitten for washing shadow, and the master sat at the door and watched her get washed the entire time, growling at donna, who in turn had learned to growl back.

-The Doctor proposed on Christmas and the master slapped him. They then proceeded to get married NEXT Christmas due to saxon demanding a custom traditional outfit to be made.

-Both have gained relationship weight, and Donna is the only one allowed to poke fun at them for it. "Not a pole anymore, I see, hmm?" She does not comment on saxons new small streach marks as that is blantantly rude. Wtf? Who does that? Not in this house.

-They take up the entire couch for naps. The doctor has told him multiple times that he likes his weight on top of him. "You're like a warm weighted blanket." And was then smothered with a pillow because saxon is insecure about it still.

-When meeting new people the Doctor keeps slipping that hes an alien. Hes said he wants the neighbors in France to not know hes an alien because hes curious about how people treat him differently compared to if they know or not.

The neighbors wanted help moving their sofa so the Doctor picked it up... the whole thing... by himself.

"Wow!! Its like you have super human strength!!"

"Aha- well... about that.. not human-"

"What?"

"Shit- honey I did it again!"

[daisynik7]

Rush

Chapter 8: Do I Wanna Know?

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, spitting, daddy kink, vaginal sex (mating press), heavy on the angst this chapter

Summary: After the events of Halloween, you finally start questioning your relationship with Eren. Meanwhile, he attempts to do some damage control to keep both you and his reputation in check, ultimately resulting in more damage. 

Notes: Song is "Do I Wanna Know" by the Arctic Monkeys

Previous Chapter | ao3 | Next Chapter

Rush Series Masterlist

Rush Series Taglist

----------

The Sunday night after Halloween, Alpha Tau gathers upstairs in the fraternity house for their weekly chapter meeting. Tonight, Levi makes a particularly interesting announcement. 

“In about two weeks, Alpha Tau will be hosting its annual fall formal. For you pledges that aren’t familiar with this yet, formal is a special event that happens each semester. It’s essentially a dance. There will be a DJ, dancefloor, photo booth. In addition, dinner will be provided. Luckily, because of our clean record so far this semester, thanks to our partnership with Sigma Nu Kappa, the Student Affairs Committee has approved us having an overnight formal. Meaning we will be renting out a hotel for the night.” 

Most of the seniors cheer loudly at the last part, especially Mike. Eren clenches his fist, the memory of the other night still fresh in his mind. He can’t stand the guy, especially knowing he had his fingers in that beautiful body he’s made claim to. He’s not one to be possessive, but with her, he can’t help it.

Levi continues. “The cost of formal is already included in your membership fees, so I highly encourage every brother to attend. Also, each of you is allowed one guest. This can be anyone: a friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, whoever. If you plan to bring a date, make sure you get their signature on the sign-up form. I’ll be handing these out at the end of chapter. Please get these to me by next Sunday.”

Reiner turns around to face Eren. “Got a girl in mind you want to ask?”

He shrugs. “Not really.”

It’s a bold face lie. As soon as Levi mentioned a guest, he immediately thought of her. Her all glammed up in a gorgeous dress, them grinding against each other on the dancefloor, making love in their hotel room when the night is over. 

He allows himself to fantasize about it for a minute before coming back to reality. 

As much as he’d like to ask her to be his date, he can’t. As easy as it would be to just be with her, he won’t. He justifies it to “not being ready”. Asking her to be his date is another level of commitment that he’s not willing to step into yet. He needs time. This is what he’s convinced himself of. 

The more time he spends with her, he finds himself forgetting why this relationship has to be so goddamn difficult. It’s on him; he knows that. His reasons are selfish and immature. Not being ready for commitment. Caring too much about his reputation, which isn’t all that great anyways. It’s all bullshit excuses at the end of the day. 

Eren doesn’t want to fall in love. He’s afraid. Afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of getting hurt. Being in love complicates everything. He enjoys being free, unshackled, able to do what he pleases. Responsible only for himself and nobody else. Allowed to fuck up as many times as he can without repercussions. Because he will fuck up. He’s young, dumb, and selfish. Why burden anyone with his flaws? 

But when he’s with her, he’s happy. In a way, he still feels free. Weightless, liberated, unbound. As if a whole new world has been opened up to him, as cliché as that sounds. She makes him feel worthy, makes him feel loved. 

And that’s what scares him the most. 

It’s not love. How can it be? Aside from the amazing sex, what do they really know about each other? Eren has done his best to avoid revealing anything about himself. She’s kept a similar guard, probably just as afraid as he is. 

It’s lust. That’s all it is. That’s what he keeps telling himself.

He wishes he had met her in a different time in his life. Maybe after he’s gotten all this dumb, frat boy energy out of his system. It would be easier for them. It would be different.��Better. 

He knows what he needs to do eventually. He has to end it with her before it gets too serious. Their time together on Halloween night felt different. He exposed himself, revealed a little too much of his feelings.

She’ll never leave him; he’ll string her along until the time is right. He’ll continue to drag this out as much as he possibly can. Continue telling her what she wants to hear, getting away with his sins until he decides it’s time to move on.

He’s got it all under his control. 

“You should bring that girl Pieck,” Reiner suggests, snapping Eren out of his thoughts. “Bertolt is thinking about asking another Delta Mu also.”

Eren shrugs again, unsure how else to respond. His big brother turns back around to face the front as Erwin makes his closing statements, ending chapter. 

On the way out of the meeting, Armin nudges him. “Who are you really thinking of taking to formal?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just because Reiner is telling you who to bring, doesn’t mean you have to take them. Isn’t there anyone else you’d like to ask?”

He doesn’t answer right away, tempted to be honest with his best friend. However, Eren is still a coward that won’t admit to anything that shows off a sign of weakness.

“I think I will ask Pieck. I hung out with her on Halloween. She’s cool.” Wanting to take the focus off him, he asks, “Who are you going to take?”

“I’m going to ask Annie,” Armin states confidently. 

“Annie? Really?”

“Yes, I like her. We have fun together,” he explains, smiling. 

Eren can’t help being envious at how easy it is for Armin to confess his feelings. Again, he questions himself why he’s making his own relationship more difficult than it needs to be. 

On their way to their dormitory, Eren gets a text message:

Mikasa is sleeping over at Jean’s tonight.

Without a second thought, Eren lies to his roommate. “I’m going to the library for a couple of hours. I forgot I have a paper due in a few days for Pyxis.”

“Oh, okay. Good luck. I’ll see you later.”

Eren turns to the direction of the library until he’s out of Armin’s line of sight. A few minutes later, he’s outside another familiar dorm building. There’s a mixture of excitement and anxiety as he waits for her to come down. They haven’t talked since that night. He abandoned her when they were caught by Hitch and Annie. In that moment, he panicked. Instead of explaining himself like any normal, mature person would, he fled the scene, hoping she would be able to fix whatever mess they created. 

She’s in sweats when she opens the door, motioning him to come in. Even in this outfit, his heart flutters at the sight of her. 

“Hey,” he greets her, a small grin on his lips. 

“Hi.” She returns his smile with her own. Warm and bright as ever. 

It would be so easy. So easy to be together, Eren repeats in his head, as he follows her upstairs. 

~~~

Up in your room, as soon as the door is closed, he steps towards you with both hands on your cheeks, kissing you passionately. Your lips smack together, tongues sliding in and around each other’s mouths, hands pressed against his chest. You kiss like this for a minute, your pulse beating fast under your skin.

He breaks away, foreheads touching, noses nuzzling. “Hi,” he whispers. 

You smile. “Hi.”

You get onto the bed and lie besides each other, his arms wrapped around your body. “How are you?” He gives you a smooch on your forehead. 

“I’m fine. Chapter meeting was quick. How about you?”

“Same. Uneventful, as always.” He squeezes you tighter in his embrace. “I’m sorry about Friday night. For running off.”

You’ve had nearly two days to digest all that happened that night and how it plays into your current situation. The rollercoaster of emotions, beginning with denial, peaking at anger, and halting at shame, is causing you to spiral. You spent hours Saturday morning, lying in bed, refusing to accept that Annie is absolutely correct: you do deserve better. You are better than this. And when the realization finally hits you like a bag of bricks, the rest of your Saturday is wasted pacing around campus, letting off steam caused by this newfound contempt for Eren Jaeger. The blatant disrespect from him that you so fervently overlooked is impossible to deny any longer. 

This leads you into Sunday, when the guilt of how you failed yourself starts to consume you. The burden of realizing that you got yourself into this mess weighs heavy on your chest; the burden to escape it weighs even heavier. 

Yet, you lie here with him on Sunday night, wishing for a sign of redemption. Anything to prove that all this was worth it. That it still is worth it. Holding out hope for some type of forlorn act of love. 

He clears his throat. “I freaked out when I saw them. I didn’t know what to do, so I just ran. I’m sorry.”

You stay silent, waiting for any additional explanation, maybe a more valid reason for ditching you. Nothing else comes out of it. Eventually, he clears his throat again, obviously uncomfortable, asking, “So, what did you end of telling them?”

You choose to leave out the details of what Annie said. It’s not the right time. You don’t want to confess to him that it’s been eating away at you for the past two days. Not yet. “I told them that we’re hooking up.”

“Did they have anything to say to that?”

“Not really. They were just surprised.”

He chuckles. “Annie isn’t necessarily the biggest fan of me, so I’m sure she’s secretly upset about it.”

She did not keep it a secret at all, you think to yourself, remembering her disgust very clearly.

“They’re not going to tell anybody, are they?”

“No. They’re my friends. They’re not going to say anything.”

“Good.” His relief doesn’t bring you comfort. Rather, it causes you more stress. He’s so desperate to keep you a secret, and for what? To save face? Protect a reputation that barely exists in the first place?

“Would it be so bad? If people know? What’s the big deal?” You’re already preparing yourself for a disappointing answer. 

Before he replies, he reaches his fingers down to your chin to tilt your head up. “I want to be with you, okay? I just need time.”

“Time?”

“Yeah, to get used to this. I’m not really a relationship or commitment person. This is all new to me. Just give me time. I promise you. It’ll all be alright.” His eyes look earnest. Honest. Sweet. 

The trouble with Eren Jaeger is that he is a master at his craft. Manipulating a situation to go his way is a skill that no one can compete with him in. And it’s taken you several weeks to recognize how easily you fall for it. 

You leave it at that, tired of hearing excuses, exhausted of empty promises. You start kissing him, palming his cock until it’s hard beneath his pants. This is how it always ends up with you two. This is the only thing you’re good for. 

A few minutes later, you’re both naked, you on your back, thighs spread open as he eats you out, pumping his fingers inside you. You’re the same obedient girl that gave your virginity to him. Allowed him to defile you, to ruin you. It’s what you wanted, what you fantasized about. And now you are dealing with the consequences. Picking up the pieces that you willingly let him destroy.

“Fuck, you’re such a good girl. Such a good girl for daddy,” he hums, flicking his tongue over your clit, middle and ring finger working overtime in and out of your cunt. 

You allow the ecstasy to smother you, because the only way to feel good with Eren is like this. He doesn’t have to know that your mind is filled with doubts, regret, insecurity. And, as he sends you into your first orgasm of the night, you temporarily forget about all the imperfections in this shady relationship. You let the lust and pleasure justify why you’re still here in bed with him. 

When you come all over his fingers, he doesn’t stop. He keeps going until his digits are wet, shiny, and sticky with your slick. He sucks on your clit until it’s swollen and sensitive. Until you’re whimpering with tears rolling down the sides of your face. Until he’s had your fill of you, and you’ve given him all that you can offer. 

Without warning, he pulls his fingers out of you and slides his hard cock up and down your arousal, spreading your cum over your clit. You hear the click of the lube bottle, the soft squelch of oil being rubbed on his shaft, the gravely moan resounding from his throat. 

“Are you ready, baby?” 

“Yes,” you breathe out.

He kneels in front of you, positioned between your legs. His cock glides into your sleek pussy easily, eliciting a low moan from his mouth as he bottoms out. He thrusts into you slowly, spreading your thighs out wider for a better angle. He watches you swallow his entire length, a satisfied smile forming at his lips, as he continues to penetrate your sloppy cunt. 

“Fuck, baby. Look at you. You’re beautiful.” His eyes drift up to meet your gaze. You try to suppress the flutter in your belly, reminding yourself that he only says this when you’re beneath him, surrounding his cock. Giving him what he wants.

“Take this cock, take this fucking cock. Good girl, good fucking girl,” he growls, sliding his hands under your thighs and pushing your knees closer to your chest. He has you in a fucking mating press, pounding your G-spot ruthlessly, determined to milk you dry. 

“Fuck!” you cry out, fists clenching the sheets, eyes shut tight as he drills you into the bed, completely lost in the heat of passion. You hear him spit twice, his saliva trickling onto your puffy clit. Suddenly, his fingers are on you, stimulating your messy bud smeared in his drool. The sensation overtakes you. Soon, you’re coming once more all over his cock, pussy throbbing around him.

“I want to fill you up, baby. Fill you up with my fucking load,” he moans. Both his hands are holding onto your legs, pushing them towards your shoulders into a goddamn yoga pose. Your cunt is so wet, you’re worried he’ll slip out any second. 

He orgasms inside you, groaning as he comes down from his high. “Fuck, baby. Wish I could take a picture of this.” He pulls out to marvel at your drenched pussy, biting his lower lip. 

Turning your head to the side, you stare blankly at the wall of your bedroom, brought back to reality. Nothing has changed. He’s still the same Eren. Your body feels good, spent and satiated, as it usually does when he’s finished with you. Your mind, however, is focused on all the problems that remain. 

He chuckles, crawling next to you, asking, “You okay?” Completely unaware of the turmoil taking over your mind. 

You nod, staying silent as you sit up, ready to make your usual post-coital trip to the bathroom. His hand grips at your wrist. “Hey. Baby. Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just have to pee,” you tell him. Not yet. It’s still not the right time.

“Okay,” he relents, loosening his hold on you. 

You slide into your pajamas, avoiding his gaze. From the corner of your eye, you see him looking at you with a worried expression. Does he actually care?

As you exit your bedroom, anxiety creeps into your chest. It feels like the calm before the storm. 

Sometime soon, you’re going to crack. The burden of it all is going to break you, cause you to snap. Unleash the hell that’s burning in your fragile soul.

Not tonight, not in this moment. But soon. 

You’ll finally be free.

~~~

The days pass and Eren’s timeline for turning his sign-up form is dwindling. He’s been debating with himself all week about how he should proceed with this. 

Thursday night, the brothers of Alpha Tau eat dinner together in the dining room. Those that live in the house are prepared food everyday by their house chef. Pledges are allowed two meals a week, free of charge, as long as an active brother signs them up as their guest. Tonight, Reiner invites him to eat with them. 

“Have you asked Pieck to formal yet?” Reiner shoves a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, waiting for a response.

“I haven’t,” he replies, taking a bite out of the meatloaf on his plate. He knew this was going to come up eventually. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” In a hushed voice, he leans in closer and urges, “Just don’t take a Sigma Nu Kappa. Anyone but them. A lot of brothers are already taking them. We need to add some hot girls in there or else we’ll be the laughingstock to the rest of the frats.”

It’s a ridiculous statement. Truly. Reiner is an idiot. Apparently so is Eren for going along with everything he commands. 

“I don’t even know how to get a hold of her. I only met her at the Halloween party.”

“Ask Bertolt to help you out. He’s taking another Delta Mu sister. She can let Pieck know you’re interested.”

Eren has been procrastinating doing this on purpose. Once he asks Pieck to the dance, he has no other choice but to break the news to her. He’s nervous for how she’ll react; she’ll probably come up with some smartass comment to make him feel guilty. She never stays mad at him, though. Never. He has her wrapped around his finger, and he shamelessly takes advantage of that. 

“Fine. I’ll ask Bertolt to help me set it up.” 

Reiner pats his back. “Don’t forget to sign up for a room with a single bed. I’m sure you’ll be using it.” He gives you a cocky smirk, going back to scarf down his meal. 

Eren hangs out on the couch after dinner, digesting. He checks his phone frequently, waiting for any type of text inviting him over. He hasn’t talked to her since Monday morning, when he whispered a soft “good morning” as he crawled out of bed to get ready for the day. Even though they spent the night together, she didn’t say much. Usually, they chat with each other before drifting off to sleep. She was much quieter on Sunday, only nodding along and providing short responses as he babbled on and on. He attributes it to exhaustion from the amazing sex, Eren finally trying a position he’s been fantasizing about doing with her.

On his way out of the house to retreat to his dorm room for the night, he spots Annie walking out of the Sigma Nu Kappa house. “Jaeger,” she calls out, before he can avert her.

Reluctantly, he turns to face her. “Hey.”

“Come here for a second. I want to talk to you.” Her expression is the typical scowl she wears whenever she sees him. He wonders if she’s typically like this with others or if this frown is specifically reserved for him. 

“What do you want?” 

She sizes him up, eyes narrowed. “Geez, what’s with the attitude?”

“What do you want?” he repeats, already losing his patience.

She twirls a strand a hair between her fingers. “Armin asked me to formal.”

“Yeah, he told me he was going to ask you.” He still can’t fathom how his best friend, who is a gentle teddy bear, plans to attend a dance with someone as callous and deadpan as Annie. Then again, he hasn’t been spending much time with Armin to discuss this recent development. 

“So, when are you going to ask her? I heard the deadline is on Sunday. It’s already Thursday.”

Eren plays dumb, placing his hands in his pockets and shrugging. He doesn’t owe anyone, especially Annie Leonhart, an explanation. 

She glares at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “What are you doing? She’s a nice girl. Why are you messing around with her like this?”

The accusation irritates him. Defensively, he responds, “I’m not messing around with her, okay? And I know she’s a nice girl. Why do you think I keep her around?” 

Her eyes get narrower, scrutinizing him. “She’s not a plaything, Jaeger. She’s a human being.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that.” 

“Do you even know how she feels about you?” 

There’s a growing guilt building in his chest as he tries to remain unbothered by this hostile confrontation. He keeps silent, unsure how to react. Truth be told, he doesn’t want to know. Knowing will only make it more difficult for him to let go. To move on. 

She scoffs. “You’re pathetic.”

“And you’re nosy,” he spits out. “What the hell did you tell her anyways? She’s been really distant lately. Hasn’t been talking to me much.”

A small smirk forms on her face. “I told her the truth. Told her what she needed to hear.”

“What does that mean?”

“If you don’t know, then you really are hopeless.”

Eren rolls his eyes, having had enough of this conversation. This is typical Eren. When he’s put in a tough situation, he walks away. Sometimes runs. He turns away from her, not at all interested in being harassed any further. 

Before he moves, she warns, “There are a lot of people who care about her. If you hurt her, you will be reminded every day of how badly you fucked up.”

It sounds like a threat. With Annie, it probably is. 

Without facing her, he says, “I care about her too, Annie.” His voice is soft, maybe even a little vulnerable. Admitting it out loud is unusual; he’s surprised to hear his own mouth utter these words. 

“Then act like it. I thought you didn’t let other people influence how you think or feel. Remember you told me that? Don’t let Reiner influence your decisions. Believe it or not, I at least have more respect for you than him. Don’t be a disappointment.”

With that, he makes his way back to his dorm room, Annie’s words sticking to his mind no matter how hard he tries to disregard them. She’s right; he knows what he’s doing is wrong.

Don’t be a disappointment.

It’s too late for that. 

~~~

Friday night, Sigma Nu Kappa hosts their monthly pizza night. The sisters gather in the kitchen, assembling their personalized pies, handing them over to their chef who bakes them in a portable wood-fired oven. During these special nights, all sisters, whether they live in the house or not, are allowed to participate. 

Hange, who always tries to make the smelliest pizza possible, topped with anchovies, olives, onions, and garlic, is regulated in the corner of the room, eating her meal alone with a twisted smile on her face. Petra, Nanabe, and the other seniors talk amongst themselves as they munch on their dinner, discussing upperclassmen topics unrelated to the rest of the sisters. 

You eat with Mikasa, Annie, and Sasha on the couch, watching a comedy movie on TV. After some idle gossip, Sasha brings up a topic that catches you off guard. 

“Who else is going to Alpha Tau’s formal, besides Mikasa and Hitch?”

“Hey, I haven’t been formally asked by Jean yet. He wants to do it after a nice dinner tomorrow, bless his heart,” Mikasa explains, a sweet smile on her face. “Who’s taking Hitch?”

“Connie!” Sasha answers, proudly. “I set it up. Just call me Cupid.”

“Armin asked me. And I said yes,” Annie mentions in a quiet voice, blushing.

“Armin?! Oooh la la, Annie!” Sasha teases, resulting in a firm punch to her arm.

You notice Annie glancing at you, imploring some sort of comment. 

“I didn’t even know Alpha Tau is having a formal,” you say. Eren hasn’t mentioned it all week. In fact, he’s barely contacted you since Monday morning, when he kissed you goodbye before leaving for his morning class. In his defense, you haven’t made any effort to reach out to him either. You can’t help but wonder if he’s planning to ask you eventually. There’s still that glimmer of hope you’re holding out for him, despite how fast it’s dwindling.    

Annie glares, clearly upset. However, she doesn’t say anything, still adhering to her vow of silence in regard to your secret. 

“Mike is probably going to ask you,” Mikasa mentions, smirking. She found out about your little fling with Mike on Halloween and has been pestering you about it since.

You return her smile. “Maybe.” 

In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind going to formal with Mike. After that night, you still consider him a friend. The few times you’ve passed by him this week, he’s acted normally, greeting you with that handsome grin that he wears so confidently. If you weren’t so fucked up in the head by Eren, you could definitely see yourself falling for Mike, the way he deserves. The way both of you deserve.

Instead, here you are. Still wishing more than anything that Eren asks you to this formal. Setting your expectations so high, you can barely see the top. It’s laughable. It’s pathetic.

You spend the rest of the night at the house, watching another movie snuggled next to your sisters as you all share a big bowl of popcorn. Mikasa leaves before you, heading to Jean’s for the night. Instinctually, you reach for your phone, ready to text Eren. Before you can, Annie nudges you. 

“Hey. Let’s walk back together. I want to talk to you.”

The two of you leave the house, slowly making your way towards the dorms. You’re concerned about what she wants to tell you, anticipating it has something to do with Eren. “What is it, Annie?”

She sighs, staring down at the ground as you both take your time walking. “I’m just going to say it, okay?”

You nod, eyebrows knit together with worry. Anxious for another truth bomb she’s sure to drop in this moment.

“I don’t think Eren is going to ask you to formal.”

It’s inevitable; your heart falls. The sinking sensation dwelling in the pit of your stomach slows down your steps, as if gravity is pulling you towards the ground. “How do you know?”

“I ran into him last night. I asked him and he didn’t give a straightforward answer.”

“Oh,” is all you can mutter as you process this information.  

“Also, I overheard something.” She pauses, debating if she should continue.

“Annie,” you urge her, desperate for the truth.

She gulps loudly, admitting, “I heard he’s taking someone from Delta Mu.”

There’s a cluster of emotions rushing through your head. He’d rather take anyone else besides you, the girl he’s been fucking the past couple of weeks. He was on his goddamn knees just a week ago, begging to have you. Granting whatever wish you desired to nestle himself inside your body, the one you offered him on the fateful night that initiated it all. 

You’re as much to blame as he is, falling for his tricks. For that low voice that can lull you into a trance and manipulate you into submission. Those compelling eyes that dazzle you, hiding the true nature of his cold, frigid heart. 

While your feelings for him have always been true, there are far too many red flags now to ignore, to make excuses for. Time and time again, you’ve let the waves of pleasure purify the sins of your messy relationship, if only for a short while at a time. Not anymore. This is the final straw. 

Now, you want revenge. To hurt him the same way he’s hurt you. Pull the rug out from under him like he’s done to you in the past. Make him feel something. It may sound cruel and petty, but you don’t care. For the first time since it started, you have clarity. 

“Are you okay?” Annie asks.

“I don’t know. But I think I’m starting to see things more clearly now.”

She gives you a small smile. “That’s good to hear.”

After dropping her off to her building, you head to your room, alone. Repulsed by the idea of inviting Eren over with this new information swimming around in your head. Coincidentally, your phone rings, flashing his name across the screen. 

“Hello?” you answer, attempting to keep your cool. 

“Hey,” he greets, his gruff voice taking a different effect on you now. “How are you?” 

“I’m okay.” You keep your responses short. Not in the mood for the typical pleasantries of a phone conversation. 

You hear a sense of trepidation in his voice, as he says, “So, not sure if you’ve heard already, but there’s this formal coming up for Alpha Tau.”

“Yeah, I heard.” 

You hear him clear his throat, nervous. “I’m going to take Pieck. From Delta Mu.”

Gut punch. Annie prepared you for this, but to hear it from his own voice doesn’t soften the blow. 

Before you can respond, he continues. “It doesn’t mean anything. Reiner told me to take her, so I am.”

He’s a coward. A fucking coward. Always abiding to what his big brother demands him to do, for no good reason. And you’re a fool for letting it go this far. 

“Okay.” 

“Are you mad? It’s just formal. It’s not like I’m dating her or anything. I won’t even dance with her if it makes you happy.” The audacity he has to justify it, to make it seem like what he’s doing is no big deal. It takes all your willpower not to scream into the phone. 

“If you really want to make me happy, you’d ask me to go with you, instead of some other girl,” you state.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re not supposed to be seen together yet. I’m not ready.” Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

“So, it’s okay to be seen with a Delta Mu, but not with me?” you challenge him, anger seeping through your voice. 

“It’s not like that. Just give me some more time, okay? I just need more time.”

Officially fed up, you quickly say, “Yeah, okay. Got it. Have fun at formal.” You hang up, not waiting for a response. 

Time. You’re sick of hearing this. He uses it as if it’s the magic word that erases all your problems, an excuse to prolong your suffering. You’re not even sure what he needs time for. Does he need it to get over his own insecurities? To grow up and make adult decisions? To realize he cares about you? Regardless, his time is running out.  He didn’t even have the decency to tell you any of this in person. It was all through a fucking phone call. 

Eren Jaeger truly is a coward. The biggest coward of them all.

Your limit has been reached. This is your breaking point. 

 You know what you have to do. 

----------

End Notes: We’re nearing the end, folks! I have three more chapters planned, plus an epilogue. Thank you again for those who have read, commented, liked, and reblogged any or all parts of this so far! 

----------

Taglist:

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[auveriablue]

Retired!DadBod!Logan Headcanons

(Picture is of Zombie Wolverine but that’s irrelevant, I saw the picture and it made me tingle so you get this. Also I don’t wanna hear shit about “He can’t gain weight because of XYZ” he’s been fat like thrice)

🥓

- After retiring from the X Men for good this time, Logan settled down in a cabin in the forest. Same old story but it’s secluded and there’s no one to bother him and that’s what he likes. Charles fortunately gave him a hefty retirement fund, because he should after all he put the team through, especially Logan.

- Town is about a half hour drive but he barely shows his face other than to make a weekly grocery run or to go to the bar for a drink when he feels like it but he mostly drinks at home.

- The weight gain is slow at first. He’s still semi active, goes out and gets firewood, takes walks, goes for runs.

- Then some of the local aunties (meaning older women in the community not literal aunties) start to take notice of him when he comes to town. They know he’s not married, they watch him at the grocery store and he gets the same sorry TV dinners and a twelve pack of beer, so they try to welcome Logan into the community.

- He declines their offers at first but soon he’s getting approached by different women in the street, and they’re handing him huge Tupperware containers filled with different dishes and he’s basically strong armed into taking each one home.

- Logan doesn’t waste food. It’s a pet peeve of his and he’ll feel bad if these people make him all of this food and it just goes to waste so he ends up eating multiple meals a day just to get through them and they all smell so good, he can smell almost every ingredient working together in flavor harmony and sometimes he just can’t resist.

- He starts getting soft. Physically and emotionally, towards the community at least. He starts socializing more and he feels bad because he thinks they’re going to turn their backs on him once they find out that he’s a mutant but the opposite happens.

- One day, a gang from outside the community starts causing trouble and wrecking stuff, and even vandalizes a store belonging to one of the kind women that makes food specially for him and Logan’s claws come out and the gang is ran off. Logan gets ready to start packing and relocating but the community actually thanks him and shows gratitude towards him, begging him to let them repay him, which Logan tries to rebuff. He doesn’t want payment or anything.

- So how else do they show their gratitude towards him ? By making him more food. So much that it barely fits in his fridge, so he has to eat some of it in order to make room for most of it.

- And it takes five slabs of ribs, two pot roasts, a plate of fried pork chops, chicken cooked fifteen different ways and so many sides that it’ll make your heads spin but the weight starts sticking.

- Then he actually starts going to all the different banquets and cookouts and bbq’s the community throws and it starts sticking even more. People start having cookouts just to see if they can get Logan to come by so they can talk. He even finds out that a lot of people in town actually brew their own beer so he’s constantly being asked to try new and different brews. They value his opinion and love his brutal honesty and his advice on what they should change in their brewing methods and if he favors it high enough he’ll even find himself coming home with crates full of homemade beer (which also leads to the town throwing an annual festival where everyone comes together to see who has the best brew and Logan becomes the judge)

- It takes a few years but Logan eventually ends up with a nice round potbelly and then a full fledged hairy gut. It bothers him at first because he has to go and buy new clothes, his belts dont buckle anymore and when they do it feels like he’s being hugged slightly too tight and of course the thoughts and nightmares of the team finding him, seeing how he “let himself go” and ridiculing him and he doesn’t even think about fitting into his old suit. But he learns to embrace it whenever he has these thoughts. Sure, is it a little flustering when people of the community jokingly rub his belly for “good luck” ? It is and old Logan probably would have broken someone’s hands for saying and doing that to him but he knows how to take a joke now and even plays along about how rubbing his belly will only bring bad luck

- Which eventually happens when for some convoluted reason the team has to get back together. They track Logan down and his new figure is indeed a surprise to them. Gambit immediately starts cracking some fat jokes and laughing because it’s just so funny to him. He’ll try to touch Logan’s belly asking when the baby’s due and if it’s a boy or a girl and even a “We came down here to find Wolverine but Gambit thinks dat dis fella out here ate him ! Looks like Wolverine is tryna give ol’ blob a run for his money” and yes, Morph makes jokes too, shape shifting into Wolverine’s old figure before shifting into his current figure because they just don’t understand and keep shifting “See ? Fit, Fat. Fit, Fat. Before. After.” and Logan growls and releases his claws and they eventually get the message but will still make the occasional crack.

- Scott starts lecturing immediately. “How could you let yourself go like this ?!? We need you and you’re out here gorging yourself like a pig ? Can you even fit into your suit anymore ? Seriously Logan why would you do this to yourself blah blah blah”

- Storm, Rogue and Jean eventually get all of them to back off of him and stop commenting on his weight, which Logan is thankful for. Storm even compliments him and says the weight looks good on him and he looks happier, healthier, but to not let it get too out of control and that he should keep up with some work outs and if he wanted he could come to the mansion and use the danger room, not to chastise him or lecture him but it comes from a place of concern and she wouldn’t mind seeing Logan now and again, maybe more frequently because she, like the rest of the team, secretly misses him.

- Even if Logan does go, it’s not as if he’s suddenly weak just because he’s gained weight. He can still handle himself very well much to the surprise of the others but if he doesn’t join them, they can fair well enough without him, they just wanted the extra help and for him to be part of the team again. They still encourage him to visit the mansion or let them visit him. And some of them (not naming names but you can guess) actually secretly like Logan’s new bod.

- It isn’t very long before Logan goes from looking like a Wolverine to a full on bear. And it doesn’t really bother him. The only thing that really irks him is having to size up his clothes but other than that he learns to live with his weight gain and eventually comes to like the bigger him.

[just-ray]

Weekly Report 28/08/2024

On a 69

From here on, since I am primarily a neutral political news blog (I try to be neutral in news...that is....not in beliefs.), I will be doing weekly oppinion based reports on current events, including Irish and US politics.

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆

Irish politics has been as mundane as it has been in the past few months, with the steady work on the annual budget being continued by Coaltition parties Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil, and the Green Party, with effort from Jack Chambers, the Fianna Fáil Minister for Finance, and Fine Gaels Minister for Public Expendature and Reform, Paschal Donohoe.

However, those of us who follow irish politics anxiously await the return of Leaders Questions to the Oireachtas Channel (or Oireachtas TV).

---

With less than 69 days to go until the United States presidential elections, the latest polls show the Harris Walz duo leading the race to the Oval Office 47.0% to trumps close second of 43.7%.

I interviewed an Irish Republican/Trump supporter and an Irish Democrat/Harris supporter and asked for their views on the current trends being faced in American politics.

Let's find out what they had to say.

Note: I have altered the original response, only with punctuation such as ".", "," ect. I have not changed the order of words or sentences, or altered the meaning of any of the given text.

Question: "How do you feel about the current polls, suggesting that Harris and Walz may be taking the Oval Office next November, and do you think the current trend will remain the same as we draw closer to the elections?"

Republican: "I, personally, do believe that trump will end up succeededing in the election, as a common trend amongst the majority of people does come from an economic standpoint, whilst I also do understand people wanting good social policies I don't particularly think that is a main issue when some people can no longer feed and house themselves. I do personally believe the vote will be very close, though."

Democrat:

"[As] much as I would love Harris to win, the amount of support trump has been receiving for years now is hard to ignore. I believe that while Harris has proven to be popular and very supported, trump has just got an enormous amount of americans on his side. The twisted view of america being “broken” or something of the sort is a very common trend amongst more conservative groups of people. and they believe trump can fix it.

I don’t believe this “make america great again” thing is a trend, more of a twisted delusion, honestly. I do think people, including Harris and Walz supporters, tend to focus too much on one thing. More focus and attention need to be put into the ridiculous amount of homelessness in America. my hope would be that the future president would really try to actually deal with this problem rather than contribute to it."

---

However, time is running out, and with just under 70 days until the ballots open, if things continue as they have been, presidential candidate Donald Trump may come out as "the bottom from 69".

Will Donald and his VP candidate JD Vance.....erm....Trump? Or will Kamala Harris and her VP candidate Tim get the chance to Walz into the Oval Office next November?

Both the answer to that question, and the future of the America can be found in the swing states.

---

My name is Ray, I have an early university entry certificate in International Relations, and this has been the weekly report.

[crowsintheforest]

2024 is now over, for better and for worse. it's been a hell of a year: switching careers, leaving the academy, going back to uni in a fully different field, getting a fulltime job that I start on Monday, starting up my goodreads account again--

all of which means it's time for my annual top 10 of things that I enjoyed the very most out of the whole year! unfortunately I'd been using cohost to keep track of my weekly media usage, and well, that site went a lil bit kaput. hopefully 2025 I do a better job of keeping track of these sorts of things.

without further ado, thoughts etc. under the cut.

end of year top 10 tag

yatagarasu: the raven does not choose its master (pierrot): out of this whole list, if you only experience one thing, it should be this. a court drama set in the fantasy world of the yatagarasu, giant three-legged ravens who can also take human form, the first cour follows two interlocking stories: yukiya, a young man who's the adoptive son of a rural lord roped into serving the crown prince, and asebi, one of the four women in the running to become the prince's new wife. it's got twists and turns, a fully realized world, and spectacular character and plot. highly recommended.

alan wake 2: night springs dlc (remedy entertainment): yes, yes, I put aw2 on my top 10 last year, but see, this is THREE alan wake dlcs in one! which is chock full of remedy's wild-ass ideas, from rose the waitress's uh....unique take on mr. scratch (matthew poretta's line readings are best of the year), to the bonkers story starring Actual Real Life Actor Shawn Ashmore that needs to be experienced. also, makes me think that maybe integrated universes aren't totally lost? didn't think that was possible. also, one of the best bops of the year with the theme song. speaking of which...

brat (charli xcx): is it the best album of the year? no. is it my favorite? probably yes that's why it's here. "sympathy is a knife" is my favorite song of the year

worlds beyond number: this beat out dimension 20 for my favorite actual play of the year, and it wasn't even close. I adore this podcast so very much. come for the longform storytelling of "the wizard, the witch, and the wild one," stay for the balls-to-the-wall chaos of "space cram."

tidal creatures (seanan mcguire): middlegame is one of my favorite books of all time, and the third book in the series feels like a return to form, overlapping a murder mystery, the weirdos you meet around college campuses, and multiple mythologies around the moon. good stuff.

dandadan (tatsu yukimoto, anime production by science saru): just a few things in dandadan: aliens! ghosts! demons! kaiju! sex comedy! jumanji! true love! giant robots! ranma 1/2! and teenagers falling in love and making friends! the manga slaps, science saru is doing impeccable work on the anime, and I cannot WAIT for more.

dragon age the veilguard (bioware): this game feels like coming home to a warm bath after a really long and not always successful bathroom renovation, if that makes sense? sure, it's not top 5 bioware games, but it does have a strong plot, fun characters, combat that surprised me in not sucking horribly, and one of the best act 3s in bioware. also the best boys of 2024: assan the griffin and manfred the skeleton.

star trek: lower decks (paramount+): what an ending to lwd, my favorite modern trek crew, and it's not even close. cerritos strong.

witch hat atelier (shirohama kamome): these girls have done nothing wrong in their lives, I love the magic system almost as much as I love the gorgeous detail on the artwork, and I fear for when the anime comes out and the internet gets another Sad White Haired Anime Teacher Man to moon over.

genshin impact (hoyoverse): yes I'm just as mad as you that the weeb video game is on this list. damn you hoyo for making a game this good. anyways I gotta go get primos to try to pull mavuika now so bye

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

✨A basic beauty maintenance routine✨

(This list is by no means a “one size fits all”. This can be a template that you can use to add/subtract whatever works for you.)

Annually

◦ Doctors check up/blood work

◦ Dermatologist

6 months

◦ Dentist - cleaning

◦ Wardrobe clean out

◦ Full body massage

3 months

◦ Hair trim

◦ Facial

◦ Some kind of hair spa/treatment

6 weeks

◦ Gel pedicure

◦ Manicure

Monthly

◦ Wash makeup brushes

◦ Full on everything shower

◦ Eyebrows

Weekly

◦ Hair mask/oil on roots

◦ Face mask

◦ Body hair shave/wax (or as regularly as you’d like if you prefer removing body hair)

Daily

◦ Shower

◦ Moisturize

◦ Full AM skincare

◦ Full PM skincare

◦ Brush teeth, tongue scrape, mouthwash, floss

◦ Journal or read

◦ 10k steps

◦ Water (your body weight in half- how many oz. of water you need. Eg. if you’re 150lbs, you need 150/2= 75oz. of water)

◦ Supplements (I take vitamin D3+K2, omega 3-6-9 in the morning and zinc magnesium at night)

◦ Lip mask

[shiroselia]

Hello SSOBlr welcome to Math With Manda

Where Manda explains capitalism because for a platform which claims to be the smartest out of the available SSO communities with a high rate of supposed tax payers, y'all seemingly don't know how money works

Current Scenario:

We get 100 Star Coins a Week. 1 week of real life time is equivalent to 100 in game star coins.

You need 1000 Star Coins to purchase One Horse in this game. (rounded up because in practice it Is 1k star coins per horse especially if ur shooting for the more expensive ones.)

1000 Star Coins is achieved through waiting 10 real life weeks. Hence. One Horse is Equivalent To 10 Real Life Weeks.

This means. That in a year, which has 52 weeks. You can realistically get 5 horses for free. If the player has purchased a lifetime subscription. 5 free horses is equivalent to One Year of Playing.

5 horses is not a lot, by most players standards. This means that there is an insentive for players to purchase ADDITIONAL STAR COINS. FROM STAR STABLE ENTERTAINMENT. WITH THEIR REAL MONEY. WHICH SSE NEEDS TO SUSTAIN THEIR COMPANY. PAY THEIR BILLS. PAY THEIR STAFF (Which y'all seem to atleast understand is p important so that's always that). AND CONTINUE TO PRODUCE THEIR PRODUCT WHICH YOU CLAIM TO LIKE. THIS IS ESSENTIAL TO THE GAME'S EXISTANCE.

Hypothetical Scenario:

We get 200 Star Coins a Week. 1 week of real life time is equivalent to 200 in game star coins.

You STILL need 1000 Star Coins to purchase One Horse.

BUT. NOW. 1000 Star Coins. Is the equivalent of FIVE WEEKS.

WHICH MEANS. That ONE HORSE is the equivalent to 5 Real Life Weeks, Which Is About A Month. One Month. Is Equal To One SSO Horse.

A year still has 52 weeks. This means, that if they raise the weekly allowance, players will have the ability to purchase 10 horses a year.

10 horses is the equivalent of one whole year of playing.

SUDDENLY. THINGS CHANGE. 10 horses is quite a lot. That's what I buy annually if I'm having a Good year. 10 horses is considered above average player spending. But. Now you get that for free. 10 horses is a lot. By most players' standards.

Suddenly, I don't feel the need to buy any star coins anymore. Because the free ones I get cover my need of horses annually. This means I don't feel like spending money on Star Stable Entertainment.

This would probably be the most common sentiment. 10 horses is a lot. Why would we need additional star coins.

So nobody buys any star coins.

And suddenly. Things CHANGE.

Bye bye Star Stable Online o7

(And before anyone says BUT MANDA: STAR RIDER. Nobody fucking buys the renewable ones because Lifetime is STILL the most attractive and above all else WORTH IT choice for the consumer. The player has no real reason to invest in a monthly subscription. So paying a permanent 60€, give or take, is more worth it than giving SSE, say 10€ a month. Which is 120€ a year. Pretty much. DO YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MONEY LIFETIME LOSES SSE YET.)