#and big emotions make me more overwhelmed

[crybaby-bkg]

SACRIFICES & WICKED VICES

Izuku doesn't need you to know that he's the boss of one of the most infamous Yakuza groups. Too bad he's pretty shit at hiding it.

Warnings: yakuza boss Izuku x civilian reader, lots of cunnilingus, vaginal fingering mentions of tattoos, non graphic mentions of violence, Izuku picks reader up twice, pet names include princess baby and love, blowjobs, and very soft and emotional sex Word Count: 6.6k Notes: as many of you know, this fic is based on a Drabble I created back in June 2023!! I can't believe it took me this long to write it, but this is for Kitten and Kitten only!!! <3 Also available on Ao3! Minors and ageless blogs DNI.

“Excuse me!” A deep voice yells out, catching your attention as your head turns to look over your shoulder. There’s a green haired man a couple feet behind you, bent over, grabbing something from the ground that you can’t make out from around his fingers. When he stands, you’re slightly taken aback by his looks and his size, more focused on the overwhelming smattering of freckles that dot his face than what you had dropped. He’s handsome, the man, with eyes to match his hair of a deep verdant color, a scar across his nose and through his eyebrow, his smile big and kind, his frame wider than what you’d expect from a face like his. 

Finally, do you manage to pry your eyes from his own to look down at his hands. You discover that your favorite lipgloss had somehow fallen from your bag, and you briskly pad over to the man who holds it out to you. 

“Oh, thank you so much!” You bow to him as you grab the tube from his hand, your fingers grazing over his rough and scarred palms. “I would’ve been pissed to have to kick out another twenty bucks for a lipgloss.” You roll your eyes at the price, smiling at the man who gives you a kind one in return. His eyes drink you in, almost respectfully so, as he tries to gather the right thing to say. 

“With or without it, you’re very beautiful, you know.” The stranger says, his words soft as they carry over the nights howling wind. He straightens when your eyebrows raise in surprise, his freckled face becoming pinker by the minute as he laughs awkwardly to himself. 

“That was—that was creepy, I’m—”

“No,” you cut him off with a wave of your hands, unable to stop grinning from the compliment. “That wasn’t creepy at all, I promise. If it was, I would’ve maced you by now.” You shrug halfheartedly, a playful look on your face. The stranger laughs, his smile wide and genuine, makes you damn near swoon at the dimples in his cheeks. 

“And I would’ve very much deserved it.” He smiles at you, his head tilting to the side, a curl of emerald hair shadowing his eyes for a split second. This man is handsome, and the longer he looks at you like that, the weaker you can feel your knees getting. When too much time passes without either of you saying anything, he opens his mouth, thumb hooked behind him as if poised to leave. You take a step in his direction quickly, your eyebrows raised in question as you rush out your words. 

“Can I ask you out to dinner sometime?” You spit out, surprising yourself at your boldness to make the first move, nerves immediately hitting you in the gut. What if he says no? What if he’s already taken and was just being polite? 

“As a way to thank you for saving me twenty bucks?” You tack on quickly when his mouth closes and opens again, cutting him off once more. He only smiles though, shaking his head at you as he scratches at the scruff on his chin.  

“Please, you don’t have to repay me.” He tells you, but doesn’t offer up any other reason that screams for you to back off. He doesn’t walk off either, and doesn’t look like he wants to any moment now. So you bite the bullet again, and hope that you’re not embarrassing yourself too much in front of the handsome, well dressed stranger. 

“Well can I just ask you out to dinner then? Just for the fun of it?” You ask him, shoulders raised, smile strained, hopeful. The man considers you for a long moment, before his eyes wander off down the street, over your shoulder, over his own, his hands scratching incessantly at his scruff. You can feel your excitement dying down by the second, the sinking feeling of rejection hitting you right in the belly as you slowly start to deflate. You open your mouth to rescind your offer and apologize, ready to walk away with your tail tucked between your legs, when he speaks. 

“Sure.” He says with a small smile before it brightens at the surprised look on your face, chuckling under his breath. “Sure, I’d like that.” He repeats, grin matching your own as he sticks his large hand out to you. 

“My name is Izuku, by the way.” He tells you, fitting your palm in his own. You wonder how he’s gotten so many scars on the backs of them, how many freckles you could count on just his right hand, as you introduce yourself to him. You exchange numbers with Izuku, promising to text him the details when you find the perfect place to dine at. 

“I don’t always answer in the most timeliest of manners, but please don’t take that as my disinterest. I just have a pretty packed schedule.” He tells you, his face suddenly going serious as he tilts his head down until you’re forced eye to eye with him. Slightly taken aback, you pause before nodding profusely, smiling a little as you wave his worries away. 

“That’s totally fine.” You promise him, checking the time as you realize you need to be home in a few minutes (your cat gets very finicky about dinner time, and you do not want to face her wrath today). “I’ll text you!” You call over your shoulder as you start to jog down the street, smiling at this mystery man who you can’t wait to know more about. Especially those tattoos on his wrist that you got just the tiniest glimpse of when he shook your hand. 

…

The night of your date takes place exactly one week after running into Izuku. You don’t text him first until three days after meeting, and he replied just last night to confirm meeting today. You’ve been nervous since the moment your eyes opened this morning, trying to figure out what you’re gonna wear, how you’ll do your makeup, what time you’ll have to get off work to make it home to shower and shave (thinking very far ahead, if you’re lucky), feed your cat, catch the train—

It’s a lot. But you’re here now, dressed in something soft and flowing for the summer night, sandals adorning your feet, makeup painted pretty and delicate, your cat at home and fed, and right on time. But Izuku is nowhere to be found, as you stand outside the restaurant for a few minutes, tote bag held in front of you to ward off the attention from anybody that’s not him. After a while, do you finally go inside so that you don’t miss your reservation. 

The hostess’ eyes damn near bulge out of her head when you tell her who the reservation is for, under his name, and she escorts you to the furthest most booth in the back. Its dimly lit there, but you notice a few eyes lingering on you as you make yourself comfortable. It must be because you don’t fit in much with the others and their attires, who mainly wear suits or traditional wear, so you brush off the looks and hope that Izuku doesn’t keep you waiting too long. 

He shows up twenty minutes after your agreed time, in a rush, huffing and panting as he loosens his tie on his way over to the table with an apologetic look on his face. You stand as he finally makes his way to the table, smiling at him and his flushed cheeks. 

“My apologies,” he starts, ruffling his hair into place as he tries to look more put together. “A business meeting ran a little longer than usual, and then my driver scraped somebody’s car, and,” 

Izuku stops abruptly mid sentence when he finally, actually, looks at you for the first time that night. His eyes go round, his mouth falling just the tiniest bit, his gaze drinking in every single inch of you from head to toe. His mouth snaps shut audibly, which makes you laugh behind your palm, and he finally looks you in the eye almost shyly. 

“I must be a blind idiot to not have first noticed how beautiful you look tonight.” The compliment rolls almost smoothly off of his tongue, his voice coated in velvet. It makes your face warm as you halfheartedly fix your hair, your eyes taking in his own outfit for the night. He wears a simple black suit, but its carved to the exact shape of his body, molded onto his thick biceps and muscled thighs. He slips off his tie smoothly before tucking it into his back pocket, popping open the first few buttons of his white shirt, revealing just the tiniest slither of pale, freckled skin. 

“You also look very beautiful,” you tell him with a smile before it drops in horror at the slight cock of his eyebrow, his inching grin. “Well, not beautiful, but—but handsome? Very handsome and polished and, I don’t know.” Izuku only laughs at your babbling, and you shake your head at your motor mouth. 

“I’ll take beautiful as a compliment any day if its coming from your mouth.” He says softly, his eyes an emerald green that seem to shine a bit brighter, even in the dull light of the restaurant. You only smile at him, thanking him softly as he holds out your chair for you to sit in. 

After that, the date goes smoothly. You two sit and talk for what feels like hours, ordering course after course that Izuku ensures will be fine on his credit card. You share a bottle of sake, and the restaurant is close to empty by the time the night begins to dwindle down for the two of you. 

So far, you’ve learned that Izuku is a businessman—he doesn’t specific what business exactly, but he mentioned something about numbers and finances. He runs his own company, one that he says isn’t too successful, but you’re not sure just how true that is when he doesn’t even gawk at the bill once its laid between you on the table. He’s twenty-eight, and lives by himself, his favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, and he loves his best friend very much, despite the fact that said best friend is very much so against that idea. 

All in all, Izuku is kind, and sweet, and seems so attentive and caring. He hangs onto your every word, and actually shows interest in the things that you talk about. He asks you on another date, this time, as he walks you to the train station, and of course, you agree. 

The next couple of weeks go by relatively smooth when it comes to Izuku. He’s gentlemanly, despite the fact that he shows up late to a majority of your dates. He always makes it up by bringing flowers and your favorite snacks, offering you more and more lavish desserts and even a pair of diamond earrings by the fourth date. 

It’s a lot, at first, getting used to being spoiled by him. But Izuku makes it so easy with his charming smile and easygoing attitude. That makes it even easier to let him spoil you in other, nonmaterial ways. 

He’s a giver, through and through. That much is obvious when you take him back to your place after the fifth date, and he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, pinning you against the door to your place. You can hear your cat scurrying away from the flurry of commotion, of flying clothes and your greedy hands. Izuku pins you with his hips, a heavy bulge that he presses against you, his mouth covering every inch of exposed skin that he can. 

“My bed,” you say in between breathless kisses, but Izuku either doesn’t hear you, or straight up ignores you, as he carries you over to your couch instead. He sets you down gently, his mouth still connected with yours, a string of saliva breaking between the two of you when he finally pulls away to look at you, and you at him. His mouth is smeared with your lipgloss, panting as his pupils have blown completely out, the bright green of his eyes swallowed whole by his desire. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” he murmurs under his breath, pressing another searing kiss to your mouth before he begins kissing and nipping his way down your throat. He kneels before you, one hand around your waist, the other creeping beneath the skirt you wore. Izuku mouths at your pulse point, feeling it jump under the ridges of his teeth, inhaling your scent as his thick fingers brush against the band of your panties. 

“Can I?” He asks softly against your skin, tongue darting out to taste the building sweat there. “Can I lick your pussy? Can I make you cum? Please,” 

You think you might’ve orgasmed already, without him even touching you. You can’t help the whimper that escapes your throat, your bottom lip bitten between your teeth as you vigorously nod your head. Izuku moans against your skin, biting softly and pulling with sharp teeth until you gasp from the pain, before soothing it over with a gentle peck of his lips. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs, kissing his way down your chest, mouthing at your nipples through your layers. He makes a promise to come back to your breasts later, his mind too busy focused on getting the taste of you forever ingrained on his tongue. Izuku pushes your skirt up until it rests on your stomach, pressing a kiss to your bellybutton, before he finally makes his way to your panty covered cunt. 

He fists the material in his grip, but instead of pulling the fabric away, he pulls it up until your lips make an obscene print against the material. Your breath catches in your throat at the slight sting, the way your panties rub against your swelling clit, but Izuku only coos at the way you wriggle under his watchful gaze. 

He kisses your lips with the same passion he did with the ones on your face. His head tilts this way and that, as he mouths at the outline, his lips pucker as he sucks your clit through the material, feeling it grow fat and thick under his tongue. He licks at you through the fabric until its soaked, until it sticks against your cunt, until the material is dark and soaked with his spit and your slick. 

You damn near cry when Izuku finally peels the material away from you, the softness of his lips encasing your own as he kisses them so sweetly, so delicately that you can’t help but roll your hips against his face. He holds you by the waist, not to keep you still, but to encourage you to use him. 

“Fuck my face,” he goads, looking at you from under his green curls, his eyes blown out with lust, his mouth dropped open as he guides your hips to roll your clit along his tongue. He pushes your cunt to his mouth, fucking your hips down as you hold eye contact, fingers grasped desperately in his hair to anchor yourself. 

Izuku watches you as you use him, as you spread your knees and open yourself up to let his tongue slide inside of your wet hole. He grips your hips tightly, lips pursing to spit on your clit before catching it on his tongue as it rolls down to messy with the slick dripping from your hole. The sight is obscene, and you feel yourself orgasming before you can even warn him. 

But Izuku doesn’t stop. You’re not even sure he knows whether or not you came, because he only bullies two fingers inside of you as he sucks your clit into his mouth. Your back arches from the couch, your cry similar to something feline, as you squeeze your eyes shut from the overstimulation. You try to push his head away, gasping for breath, but Izuku only tilts his face so that he can swallow the entirety of your puffy clit. His fingers crook inside of you, stroking sensitive walls that clench tightly around his thick digits. 

“I can’t!” You whine, despite the fact that you fuck your hips down on his hand and his hot mouth until you’re breathless. 

“Please, one more. You can take it.” Izuku moans against you, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue before spitting on it once more, making your entire lower body twitch. You dig your fingers into his hair, eyes clenched shut as you plant one foot on the couch, the other against his shoulder. Izuku only holds it tenderly against him, as if his other hand isn’t pressing against that weak spot inside of you that makes you see stars. 

You cum again with a hoarse cry, your hips jerking from the intensity, tears alighting your eyes as you squeeze your eyes shut. Finally, does Izuku seem to pull back from you, licking the slick drooling from your hole with sweet little laps, massaging your lips gently with the pads of his fingers. You can hear him lick your essence from his fingers, too fucked out to even be able to watch, but your hole clenches at the sound of it, nonetheless. 

“Hope I didn’t push you too much,” Izuku mutters after a few moments of quiet, your arm slung over your eyes as you try to catch your breath. He moves your arm gently, his big verdant eyes blinking up at you, unsure if he did went a little too far during his first time with you. But you smile at him, still slightly breathless, before pulling him to your mouth. 

You kiss him, your tongue slithering against his own, lapping at the taste of yourself. You pull gently at his roots until he moans, wrapping your arms around his neck until he falls against you, head tilted to the side as he brushes his tongue over the smoothness of your teeth, your gums. You start to sneak a hand down his front to return the favor, but Izuku quickly catches your wrist, bringing it to his mouth as he kisses the pads of each and every one of your fingertips. 

“It’s okay,” he murmurs against your skin, placing his cheek in the palm of your hand as he kisses the skin there again and again. You can’t help but frown though, rubbing his nape and the tops of his strong shoulders with your free hand. 

“Really? Are you sure?” You ask, not used to men turning down you putting your hands or mouth on them whatsoever. It’s strange, the way he turns away from you to hide his erection while still planting kisses on whatever exposed skin he can reach. He mouths at the softness of your belly, humming against the skin there when you scratch at his scalp soothingly. 

“I’m sure.” He says softly, turning to face you as he smiles reassuringly, but you’re still not buying it. A handsome businessman as himself, surely pent up from all the late night shifts and difficult clients—and he doesn’t want you to touch him back? 

“You know, I don’t mind at all.” You tell him, raking in his entire form, how gorgeous he looks on his knees before you, his mouth still wet with your cum. “Actually, I’d love to return the favor.” You whisper, cupping his cheek to pull him to you, hands reaching down to undo the buttons on his shirt, but he stops you once more. You frown. 

“I’m more of a giver than a receiver, in all honesty.” Izuku says, the tops of his cheeks hinting red beneath his freckles as he blinks up at you. A small piece of you, a tiny slither, doesn’t really believe him, but you don’t argue with him anymore. Just let him kiss you quiet, his fingers slipping inside you once more as he instantly finds that spot inside that makes you see stars. He massages it, thumb pressed to your clit as he slowly works you to another orgasm as you cry against his mouth, creaming on his fingers. 

Most of your encounters, after that, are pretty similar. Izuku still takes you on dates, but he’s getting better about being late. He brings you more and more gifts, pays for the meal, has his driver bring you both back to your place, and then he’s in between your legs for what feels like hours. He asks you to be his girlfriend after a few months of seeing each other, and you think the one sided pleasure will end there, but if anything, it gets even worse. 

Izuku buys you toys so that he can play with you, if he gets tired of using his mouth or his fingers. But he still never lets you touch him. You’ve only ever seen his cock in passing, as he jerks himself off while he touches you, or cums in his pants after having you squirt all over his face. You understand that he likes to give, but isn’t it a little strange to never want to receive? To never even want to be seen naked in front of your girlfriend? 

Was he insecure about his body? That didn’t make sense. He was jacked and muscular as hell, from what you could tell touching him through his clothing. You caught a few glances of tattoos that he had when you first met, a few more times in passing. Was he afraid that you wouldn’t like them, that you would find them unattractive? You know how Japan is when it comes to marking your body with ink, but it would never be enough to phase you to never want to see your boyfriends glorious body naked. 

Every time you tried to bring it up, Izuku came up with some excuse as to why he couldn’t get naked in front of you. He’d fuck you fully clothed, which was actually kind of hot, but it still wasn’t enough for you. To have him guiding you up and down on his cock, to messy his expensively tailored pants with your slick as you scratch up his button down shirts that you were begging to rip open. 

You figured he maybe had a really bad scar he wasn’t too proud of, or maybe an embarrassing tattoo he got when he was young. Either way, you’re determined to let your boyfriend know that its okay for him to be open and vulnerable with you as you are with him. 

Izuku likes to be on a schedule, you’ve learned about him, in these past couple of months. So you know that he must be showering the day off at the moment, and you take that moment to FaceTime him. A little manipulative, knowing that he’ll always answer the phone for you? Maybe. But it’s been months since you started dating, a year since you met, and you still haven’t seen anything past his wrists and collarbones! 

Izuku answers on the fourth ring, his eyes wide as he holds the phone up so only his chin and above are seen. He looks shifty eyed, unsure, his thick eyebrows screwed down as he forces a little smile in your direction. 

“Hey, princess. What are you doing calling me so late?” He asks, eyes darting around as he tries to maintain the phone above chin level. He does a poor job at it though, with the mirror at his back that exposed a colorful shoulder blade covered in ink. You don’t say anything though, afraid that you’ll spook him. 

“I just wanted to see you.” You tell him softly, angling the phone in a way that shows off your prettiness, knowing how weak it’ll make him. It does just that; Izuku softens his eyebrows, his smile melting into one that’s more genuine, his arm lowering ever so slightly. Your eyes trace the ink on his back, big and expansive, green and blue scales that curve all the way down to his ass. You’ve never wanted to bite something so bad. 

“Well, I just got out of the shower, so,” he trails off, his grin a little lopsided as you pout your lip at him. 

“Can you come over, actually?” You ask him, ready to get everything over it, to have it all spelled out in front of you. The hiding and the sneakiness bothers you more than the scars and the bruises on his knuckles, the little specks of blood that he forgets to clean off of his collar. Izuku’s smile dims just the slightest bit at the change of your tone, the phone lowering even more for you to see that the tattoo covers the entirety of his ass. Fuckin’ hot! 

“Everything okay, baby?” Izuku asks, toweling off his hair with his free hand, his curls still damp and limp as they straggle over the roundness of his eyes. 

“Yeah, just what I need to talk to you about should be in person.” You say softly, resting your head in your arms as you turn the camera to face the ceiling more, growing tired of holding your phone up. Izuku stops drying off his hair, his mouth setting in a thin line as his voice lowers, 

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks quietly. You only snort though and shake your head at him, at how the worry bleeds on his face, how he doesn’t instantly go murderous at the thought of you wanting to leave him. If anything, he looks more like a kicked puppy. How could he could be the leader of such an organization is definitely beyond you. 

“No,” you chuckle. “Not at all. Just come over so we can talk.” 

“Okay,” Izuku says hesitantly, his movements a lot slower this time. He tells you he’ll be at your house in thirty, but its more like fifteen with how he speeds down the empty roads so late at night. 

Izuku is there in record time, knocking incessantly at your door, his anxiety levels on high. He hasn’t been this nervous since his first kill, and something about the idea of you needing to see him in person, unplanned, at the drop of a hat, makes his stomach twist more than he cares to admit. You make him wait, just to be an asshole, for a minute longer than necessary, before you open the door to him. 

Izuku stands there, dressed more haphazardly than you have ever seen him. Usually polished and poised in his suits and expensive clothing, he instead stands in an old long sleeve tee shirt that says “t-shirt” and a pair of baggy sweatpants, worn running shoes adorning his feet. 

“Hi, my love,” you greet him with a smile, pulling him inside your place with a grip on the front of his shirt. Izuku stumbles in, never being so unsure on his feet in years, it makes him feel like he’s a teenager again. You crush your lips to his own, carding a hand through his still damp hair as you press up on your tippy toes to kiss him. He melts into the kiss, forgetting about the anxiety fluttering in his stomach, his eyes still dazed when you pull back and look at him with such a soft smile, he wondered why he was ever nervous in the first place. 

“Hey, princess.” He smiles, the soft sight dropping the moment you open your mouth. 

“I know that you’re a yakuza member, and I think its fine time to admit it, now.” You say matter of factly, your smile still there, but tight, your eyes slightly narrowed in his direction. Izuku pauses. His entire body goes stiff, everything around him going dark as he tries to process your words. After a solid minute of silence, he opens and closes his mouth once, twice, before swallowing, finally spitting his words out. 

“What? How did you…?” He trails off, finally remembering to close the door behind him as he takes a single step toward you, before stopping himself. He doesn’t want to get too close in case he’ll spook you, in case you’ve somehow set him up, in case he has to flee in seconds. It hurts to think that you’d ever betray him, but Izuku has been burned too many times. You look at him so softly though, your smile crooked as you slowly step back into your living space, inviting him in to get comfortable, like he’s always done. 

“Took me a while, but I figured it out.” You shrug, perking up when you hear the kettle going off. You patter into the kitchen on quick feet, fixing Izuku his favorite flavor of tea, as he still stands hesitantly by the door. You frown at him, pushing the mug he’s left over your house into his thick hands, before guiding him to sit on the couch. He goes along with you, although he looks more like a ghost haunting your place than he does your boyfriend at the moment. 

“The business ventures, only going out to ‘safe’ restaurants, the bruises on your knuckles, and, oh, how could I forget the big as fuck tattoo on your back?” You cock your head to him teasingly, a small smile gracing your face at the look of horror that passes over his own. 

“When did you—”

“Doesn’t matter.” You shrug, guiding him to bring the mug to his lips, his movements stiff and jerky. “When were you planning on telling me this, Izuku?” You ask him, suddenly serious, your smile falling ever so slightly as you brush a curl away from his face. 

“When you inevitably got into a shootout and came to my house for me to patch you up? When some opposing yakuza member kidnapped me because he’s holding some grudge against you?” You try to laugh it off, but it comes out as strained, the gravity of the situation finally settling on your shoulders. You love him, you really do, and you understand why he didn’t tell you in the beginning. But did he not trust you enough, even now? What would have been the catalyst for him to finally be open and honest with you? When it was bordering on too late? 

“I’m sorry.” Izuku says softly, setting the mug down as he reaches forward to grab your hands in his own. He physically relaxes when you don’t flinch away from him, despite the fact that you have to know what kind of carnage he’s created with his bare hands. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask him softly, letting him pull you into his chest as he exhales deeply. He goes quiet for a few moments, as he tucks you under his chin, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, wrapping his arms tight around your flank. 

“Because I love you, and I didn’t want to scare you away.” Izuku admits quietly against your head. “I know its selfish, but you’re not like anybody I’ve ever met before, and I didn’t want our time together to ever end. I’m sorry its had to come to this.”

“To what?” You ask, pulling away from him so you can look him in the eye quizzically. “Who said we were over?” 

“Huh?” Izuku asks after a few seconds of silence, his voice beamingly loud as he lets your words sink in. You can’t help the chuckle that escapes you, pulling him into you so now its your turn to hold his face against your chest, your chin resting on the top of his head. 

“I’m not breaking up with you, Izuku, I already told you that. I’m just pissed that I had to put the pieces together myself. I keep you around to think for me for a reason.” You tease, pulling his face up to watch everything slowly sink in. And to think he was in charge of one of the most dangerous ‘businesses’ in all of Japan, with a face that cute and eyes that round. You can’t help the kiss that you press to the bridge of his nose. 

“You’re not breaking up with me?” Izuku repeats slowly, sitting up in your arms so that you’re eye level with him, gripping you gently by the shoulders. You frown at him, knocking your forehead softly against his own. 

“Baby, I just said that.” You mutter, laughing when he suddenly pulls you into a tight embrace, pressing his mouth to yours firmly. 

“Gods, I love you.” Izuku says against your lips, pecking you again and again until he’s kissing your teeth from how hard you laugh. “How can I make it up to you?” He asks, rubbing up and down your shoulders, watching how your face melts from one of happiness to something darker, full of lust and excitement for your new reality of open honesty with him. 

“By finally letting me see you.” You whisper, leaning in to rub your nose against his, feel his shuddering breath as he inhales the intoxicating scent of you. 

“Whatever you want. I’ll give you the world, if you asked for it.” He mumbles softly, pulling you against him until you rest in his lap before rising, already taking you to the bedroom. You press a kiss against his throat, rubbing yourself against the hardness of his stomach, unable to swallow down the moan that crawls up. 

“All I’m asking for is for you to fuck me the way I know you’ve been wanting it since you met me.” You whisper sultrily, tugging at the hair on his nape, grinning against his throat at the groan that escapes him. 

“Fuck yes,” he whispers softly before devouring you before you could even blink. 

You’re on your bed in seconds, your clothes ripped from your skin in a familiar dance that you no longer question when Izuku begins to shed his own. You watch from the center of your bed as he stands before you, his eyes glued to your own gaze as he pulls his shirt from over his head with precise movement. You feel your mouth water at the sight of his exposed stomach, the ink that curls along his breastbone, red and white and intricate. 

He slides his sweats down thick thighs, even more ink decorating the skin, his cock thick and heavy where it bobs when released from its confines. He’s a work of art; gorgeously tanned skin, freckles covering more parts of him than you even thought possible, his muscles there but bulging deliciously when he flexes absentmindedly under your watchful and intent gaze. He’s gorgeous, more so than you could have ever imagined, and it makes your mouth water even more that he’s finally, finally, bared himself to you. 

“Let me touch you,” you whisper, inviting him over with a crook of your finger. Izuku obeys, crawling on the bed toward you until he’s laid against your pillows, his body elongated and exposed like a statue made of some greater god. You can only salivate at the sight of him, press a kiss to his mouth until you work your way down, down, down with nips and licks, your teeth sharp and stinging, your tongue soothing and gentle. Izuku breathes a shaky moan of your name when you finally make your way to his thick cock, heavy and red at the tip, leaking precum with every breath you pass against it. 

You hold his thickness in your palm, kissing the leaking head with soft lips, making him groan underneath his breath. He can only watch you, carding a hand through your hair until he cups the base of your skull, guiding his cock ever so gently into your mouth. You welcome him in, lips pursed to suck the precum from his leaking tip, mouth suckled tight over the thickness of him. He fills your mouth perfectly, your head slowly bobbing down until his tip tickles the back of your throat. 

You moan at his taste, one hand holding his base as you work your spit where your mouth can’t reach, the other hand reaching up to cradle his heavy balls in your palm. Izuku’s hips jerk at that with a groan, his head tilting back, although he refuses to take his eyes off of you. The way your naked body fits so seamlessly against his inked one, how the fatness of his cock creates a lewd bulge against your cheek, how your eyes water when you try to swallow him even deeper. 

You pop off of his cock with a breath, jerking him using the mixture of your saliva and his precum, ducking your head underneath his heavy length to lap at his sac. Izuku’s stomach caves in from his gasp, his eyes rolling momentarily into his head as he jerks his hips, before he finds it in himself to meet your gaze again. You smile around the fullness of one of his balls in your mouth, the other hand jerking his cock in slow, languid motions. 

“Wanna cum inside you,” Izuku says in a gasp, tugging at your head to pull you off of him. You come off with a wet pop, crawling up his body with his firm yet gently grip on your skull, smiling when he drops open his mouth when you meet him. You fill his mouth with your spit and his precum, a moan bubbling up in his throat as he presses you against him, kissing you with such fervor that you feel like you’re being consumed whole. Izuku grinds his cock against the bottom half of your stomach, pulling you tight against him as he rolls the both of you to your sides. 

Without breaking away from your kiss, Izuku hikes your leg over his hip until he’s slotted perfectly between you, gliding his cock between your soft lips. He presses in, pushing and pushing as you gasp and whine into his mouth, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders as he holds you firm against him, your bodies slotted perfectly together. With a heavy thrust does Izuku finally bury the fullness of his cock inside of you, his pubes brushing against your clit, his thick hand resting on your lower back to keep you pressed against him. 

“You never said you loved me back earlier,” he says softly against your mouth, lazily kissing you as you trace the scars on his back and shoulders. You grin against him, rolling your hips ever so slightly, gasping when Izuku can’t help the cant of his hips to press his cock even deeper inside of your slick hole. 

“I love you,” you whisper, tongue lolling against his own as Izuku slowly starts to rock his hips against you, filling you up over and over again until the bed creaks minutely. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

Izuku only rubs your clit with thick fingers as you repeat yourself, tucking your face into his throat as you tremble all over, reaching your climax before you can even process it. Izuku only keeps the same pace, never letting you fully come down from your high as he holds you so tight to him, that your skin melds with his own, that your sins become his, that your flesh is one. And when he cums inside of you with a shaky gasp, your walls fluttering around him from another orgasm, does he finally release the breath he’s been holding since the moment he realized he loved you. Which, frankly, was the moment he first laid eyes on you. 

thank you all for reading! and a special thanks to @katsukikitten for supporting me so much over these past few years. likes/comments/reblogs are so greatly appreciated! <3

[andhumanslovedstories]

i live in portland and i hadn’t even heard about the providence hcw strike. wishing you luck and success!

It's weirdly underreported considering how large of a strike it is! This is the largest healthcare strike in Oregon history, with almost 5,000 frontline workers. At that scale, the strike doesn't just affect Providence hospitals, it hits all the other hospitals in the system who now have to take on the patients that Providence can't. It has big implications for care across the state. AND this is the first strike which involves physicians. It is relatively easy (if expensive) to find enough scabs for nursing positions to keep hospitals limping along. There's nothing like that for physicians. Doctors don't typically strike, but it's becoming more common because they have horrendous working conditions.

Going into healthcare can be different than going into other fields. People use the word "calling" a lot. It feels like more than just a choice of profession. I find tremendous value in my work, and also it exposes me to so much emotional pain and moral distress. If I fuck up at work, someone might die. Even smaller mistakes can be horrible--oh my god, the guilt I have felt when I realize that a patient who can't advocate for themselves has been sitting in their own waste for who knows how long. There are easier jobs I could be doing that don't make me feel overwhelmed by moral distress.

American healthcare runs on people stretching themselves to their utmost limits. We know how important our work is. That sense of responsibility leads to people accepting poor working conditions. People need us! We could be doing something else! But if healthcare wants to run like a business, then the people working in it should act like any other employee, and everyone has the right to a workplace that doesn't make them want to kill themselves. Healthcare workers? We are out here disproportionately killing ourselves. Pay us better.

[cherryxbooo]

Tim Bradford x younger reader. Reader is in university and lived next to the Bradfords her entire life. She was there for him when Isabel ran away.

You make everything better

Summary: You never expected to be the one there for Tim when his first love ran away.

Reader x Tim Bradford

Genre: fluff/angst(ish)

The Bradfords had always been part of the background of my life.

Their house was right next door, the kind of place that never felt imposing, yet it was one of those houses you couldn’t help but notice.

Big but not overwhelming. Quiet but never completely still.

I didn’t pay much attention to them growing up, not really.

Tim was just the cop next door, and Isabel, his wife, was always the one you’d see bringing in groceries or tending to the flowers.

They were a picture of normalcy, or at least, that’s what it seemed like from the outside.

I always had a vague sense that Tim was someone different, though.

He was a cop, after all, and while I didn’t know the details, I could tell that job had a way of changing people.

The long hours, the emotional weight of it all, it was clear that Tim carried it around, even if he didn’t talk about it.

He wasn’t the kind of person who shared much.

In a way, that silence became part of him.

But he had Isabel. She was the lightness to his quiet, his grounding.

Or so I thought.

I didn’t hear from them much, but I noticed when Isabel started to pull away.

It wasn’t obvious at first.

Little things, like how she’d come home late from work more often, or how Tim’s shifts seemed longer, somehow.

But then one day, I noticed that the porch light, which had always been left on late into the evening, was off.

I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t even realize the full extent of it until the whispers began.

I didn’t know much about their life. All I knew was that Isabel left. People talked.

They said Isabel had gotten caught up in something, something to do with drugs, maybe, and that Tim was too wrapped up in his work to see the signs.

And then, one morning, she was gone. Vanished.

And Tim? Tim was still there.

I didn’t know what to do. We’d always been neighbors, nothing more.

I’d never had a real conversation with him, beyond pleasantries when we bumped into each other in the yard or when I’d wave from across the street.

But as I watched him from my window one afternoon, sitting on the porch in complete silence, I felt like I had to do something.

So, I did what anyone would do, I grabbed a plate of cookies, the kind my mom always made when someone needed comforting, and walked over.

The air had grown cooler with the fall, and the leaves crunched beneath my feet as I approached his house.

The familiar smell of wood and earth drifted over from the yard, but there was a heaviness in the air that made the whole place feel different.

When I knocked on the door, Tim answered, and for a moment, I couldn’t recognize him.

The man I had always seen with his dark hair neatly combed and his uniform pressed was now wearing a faded shirt and a tired expression.

His eyes, though, his eyes were what caught me off guard.

They were dull. Tired. Like he hadn’t slept in days. Or weeks.

"Hey, Tim," I said, unsure if I was doing the right thing.

"I made some cookies. Thought you might want some."

His gaze softened, but there was still a trace of wariness in him.

He glanced at the plate of cookies, then back at me, his mouth pulling into a small, tight smile.

"Thanks," he said, his voice rough as if he hadn’t spoken much recently.

"Can I...?" I hesitated, glancing at the porch. "Can I sit with you for a bit?"

Tim nodded, stepping aside so I could enter. The house was quiet, unnaturally so.

There was something unsettling about the emptiness.

I followed him outside, where we sat on the porch swing, the sound of the chain creaking softly in the air.

We didn’t speak at first. Neither of us did.

There was nothing to say that could make things better.

I looked over at him, and it struck me how much older he seemed. There were deep lines around his eyes now, shadows under them, as if all the sleepless nights were etched into his skin.

The air between us hung heavy, but I didn’t want to force anything. Not with Tim.

I didn’t know what he needed.

But eventually, he spoke.

"You must have probably heard it.," he said quietly, as though it was hard for him to even admit it out loud.

"People around here like to run their mouth a lot, but it's true. She left."

I wasn’t surprised, but I was still caught off guard by the way he said it, like the words were foreign to him.

I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to comfort him, but I didn’t need to speak.

Tim wasn’t someone who needed a lot of words.

"I thought we were solid," he continued, almost to himself.

"I thought... I thought everything was fine." His fingers tightened around the edge of the swing, his knuckles going white.

I had heard rumors.

Whispers about Isabel’s drug use, about how things had started to spiral out of control, but I hadn’t known any of the details.

And now, as Tim spoke, I realized that none of that mattered.

The details didn’t matter.

It was the fact that everything he thought he knew about his life had been turned upside down.

Tim’s job had always been his first priority.

It had to be.

But in the end, it had taken more from him than just time, it had taken his connection with Isabel.

I didn’t know what to say to that. I couldn’t offer solutions or quick fixes, but I could be here.

So, I just nodded, offering a small, sympathetic smile.

"I’m really sorry, Tim," I said softly. "You didn’t deserve that."

He let out a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as he finally looked over at me.

"I didn’t see it coming," he said, his voice coming out low.

"I didn’t see her slipping away. I was too focused on... everything else. On work. I couldn’t even see what was happening in my own home."

I couldn’t imagine the guilt he must have felt.

But all I could do was sit there and listen, let him talk if he needed to.

"You don’t have to have all the answers right now," I said after a moment.

"You’re allowed to be... lost. It’s okay not to know what comes next."

Tim gave a short, almost humorless laugh, and for a brief moment, he seemed like the Tim I had always known.

The one who was steady, even in his uncertainty. "I guess I am lost," he said, shaking his head.

"I just... don’t know where to go from here."

I didn’t have any grand advice, didn’t have any perfect words to make it better.

But I could tell him this:

"You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You can take your time."

There was a quiet pause. Then, Tim looked at me, his face softening just a little.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"I don’t know what I’m doing, but... maybe you’re right."

We sat there in silence, watching the sky darken, feeling the weight of the moment settle between us.

Tim didn’t have to say anything else.

I didn’t either.

Sometimes, just being there was all that mattered.

And so, that’s what I did. I was there.

I didn’t have the answers for him, but I could offer him this small moment of peace, even if only for a little while.

It wasn’t much, but in that silence, it was enough.

Days stretched into weeks, and weeks into months and as the time passed, I found myself at Tim’s house more often than I’d initially planned.

The reasons varied, of course.

Some days, it was just to check in on him, to make sure he was eating or getting enough rest.

Other days, I brought food, sometimes it was simple takeout from a nearby café, or sandwiches I made between classes, nothing fancy but enough to share.

But more often than not, I came just to be there.

To fill the empty spaces that seemed to surround him, whether that meant sitting in silence or trying to spark a conversation when I could see the weight of his thoughts pressing down on him.

Each visit felt like a quiet reassurance, for both of us. For him, because I was giving him the time and space he needed, without expecting anything in return.

And for me, because with every passing moment, I could feel the walls he’d built around himself begin to crack just a little bit more.

It wasn’t that I was expecting some grand breakthrough, but it was the small things, the subtle changes, that mattered the most.

He didn’t ask for much, but somehow, I could tell that just having me there made things a little easier.

We didn’t always talk. In fact, there were times when the silence between us was thick, heavy, but not uncomfortable.

Sometimes, it was like we didn’t need words. Like just being in each other’s presence was enough to offer some comfort, some small piece of healing.

I could see the way he’d look at me out of the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, those fleeting glances that spoke volumes.

He’d never say it out loud, but I knew he was starting to rely on me, even if just a little bit.

There were nights when we sat outside on the porch swing, the world going on around us, but we were there in our own little bubble.

I’d bring over sandwiches, and we’d eat in silence, the rhythmic creak of the swing the only sound between us.

I’d never been one for forced conversation, and Tim was always a man of few words.

But those nights, with the sun setting low in the sky, everything just felt... peaceful.

Like nothing needed to be said for it to be understood.

One evening, I arrived a little later than usual since I had back-to-back classes.

The streetlights were already flickering on, casting long shadows across the yard.

I had grabbed some sandwiches from the café I passed on my way to his place, still warm from the grill.

As I knocked on the door, the usual stillness inside his house greeted me, and Tim opened it almost immediately.

When he saw the bag in my hands, his expression softened for just a moment, a slight but noticeable change from his usual tiredness.

"Another day, huh?" I said with a small smile, holding out the bag of sandwiches to him.

He glanced down at the bag, then back at me, his tired eyes betraying a hint of something deeper.

He hesitated before accepting it, like he wasn’t sure whether he should let me in again.

His lips parted, and I caught a small flash of guilt or perhaps embarrassment before he spoke.

“You didn’t have to,” he muttered, looking at the bag in his hands.

It was the same phrase he had used before, but this time, it sounded different, less dismissive and more... unsure.

I stepped past him into the house, not even bothering to wait for him to fully open the door.

“I know I don’t have to,” I said, brushing past him with a teasing grin.

“But I want to. Besides, someone’s got to make sure you’re eating, right?”

I noticed the faintest flicker of amusement in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared.

Tim didn’t laugh much these days, and that was something I’d come to accept.

But there was something else in the way he watched me as I set the sandwiches on the coffee table.

It wasn’t the tired, distant look he had when I first started coming by.

This was different, there was something in his gaze that made me pause, something that said he was beginning to see me again, not just as the person who brought food, but as the person who had been there for him.

The person who wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know,” he said quietly after a beat, his voice almost hesitant,

“I never really asked for any of this. I never asked for someone to keep showing up like this. But... I don’t know, Y/n. I guess I’m kind of glad you do.”

He looked down at his hands for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to explain himself.

I felt my heart give a little lurch at his words.

I could see how hard it was for him to open up, how uncomfortable he was letting anyone in, especially after everything that had happened.

But I was here. I had been here all along, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

“You don’t have to say anything, Tim,” I said softly, sitting down beside him on the couch.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m not here because I feel obligated. I’m here because I want to be. And because... you’re my friend and neighbour. And I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

He turned to look at me, his expression unreadable.

But there was something in the way he held my gaze, something that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, he was starting to trust me again.

Not completely, not yet, but he was letting his guard down just enough to see that I wasn’t going to walk away.

“I don’t know what to say to you sometimes,” he admitted quietly, almost to himself.

“I feel like I’ve messed everything up... with Isabel, with everything. And... I don’t know how to make it right.”

I watched him for a moment, the vulnerability in his words making my heart ache.

He had never been one to show weakness, not to anyone. But in that moment, I could see the cracks in his armor.

It wasn’t easy for him to admit how much he was hurting, but I could feel the weight of it, the guilt he carried from everything that had happened.

“Tim, you don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” I said, gently placing a hand on his arm.

“You don’t need to fix everything all at once. You just need to take it one step at a time. And I’ll be here for all of it. Okay?”

He didn’t reply immediately, but I could feel the tension slowly draining from his body as he leaned back into the couch, his gaze unfocused, lost in his thoughts.

I stayed quiet, letting him process everything in his own time.

After a few moments, Tim sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping slightly as he relaxed into the couch.

“You’ve been showing up a lot lately,” he said, his voice quieter now, like he was trying to figure out what this all meant.

“And I can’t tell if it’s because you feel bad for me or because you actually want to be around me.”

I turned to him, my eyes soft.

“I’m here because I want to be. Because I care. And because... I know you. Tim Bradford, who’s always been too stubborn to let anyone in, and yet here I am, sitting on your couch, talking about feelings like we’re some emotional soap opera. You don’t get rid of me that easily.”

He gave a small, reluctant chuckle at my teasing tone, his lips curving upward just slightly.

“You’re impossible.”

“And yet,” I said with a grin, “here you are.”

We fell into a comfortable silence again, the kind that didn’t feel forced, the kind where two people didn’t need words to fill the empty spaces.

There was something unspoken between us, something that told me that whatever had happened before, we were on the right path.

Tim wasn’t healed, he wasn’t perfect, but I could see the shift, the subtle change in him.

The walls weren’t down yet, but they were starting to crumble. And I was right here, standing by, waiting for him to let me in completely when he was ready.

It wasn’t going to be easy.It wasn’t going to be quick. But it didn’t matter.

We had time.

It didn’t take long for others to start noticing too.

One afternoon, I decided to stop by the station to bring Tim lunch.

I figured since my classes were done early, why not get something for Tim?

He was buried in paperwork, as usual, but I didn’t mind waiting for him to finish his shift.

I didn't bother letting him know I was here since I knew sooner or later he would take his lunch break anyways.

I found myself seated in the break room, scrolling aimlessly through my phone, trying to keep my mind occupied as the day dragged on.

As I settled into a chair, I couldn’t help but notice how different the atmosphere felt.

The usual hum of chatter was punctuated by occasional bursts of laughter or complaints about long shifts, but today there was something more, something that seemed to linger in the air.

It wasn’t just the usual noise; it was the weight of unspoken things.

Things I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I felt them pressing in from all sides.

I was trying not to overthink it, but I had a sinking feeling in my gut.

A few minutes passed before the door to the break room opened, and Lucy, walked in.

She glanced around the room and her eyes immediately landed on me, a teasing smile spreading across her face.

"Well, well, look who it is," she said, her tone light but with that unmistakable edge of curiosity.

"You and Tim are spending a lot of time together these days, huh?"

I froze for a second, caught off guard. I hadn’t thought much of it before, but now, under Lucy’s sharp gaze, I realized how conspicuous my visits had become.

It wasn’t like I was hiding anything, it was just... complicated.

I cleared my throat, trying to act natural, though it felt impossible under her intense scrutiny.

"I’ve known Tim forever," I said quickly, offering a weak smile.

"We’re just—uh—friends. I’m just helping him out while he’s dealing with everything." I shrugged, hoping the explanation would sound casual enough.

Lucy raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, her smile widening as she looked at me.

"Uh-huh. Sure," she said, her tone dripping with amusement, though there was an underlying curiosity that made me uncomfortable.

"You sure it’s just that?"

I laughed awkwardly, not sure how to respond.

"Yeah, it’s nothing like that," I said, forcing a more confident tone.

"Just... making sure he’s okay."

Lucy didn’t seem entirely satisfied with my response, but before she could say anything else, Angela walked in, her presence soft but steady, as always.

She gave me a brief, knowing glance, then made her way to the coffee machine.

She took a slow sip of her coffee, then glanced at me, her expression casual but thoughtful.

"Everything okay with you and Tim?" she asked, her voice carrying that undertone of concern that I was getting to know so well.

I shrugged, trying to keep things light.

"Yeah, just trying to be there for him. You know how it is."

Angela gave me a small, understanding smile. "Uh-huh," she said, her voice warm.

"Well, he could really use someone like you right now. He’s been through a lot."

There was a certain empathy in her voice, a softness that made it clear she wasn’t just speaking out of curiosity but out of genuine care.

I nodded, though my throat tightened slightly.

"I know," I said quietly. "I’m just... I’m not going anywhere."

Angela studied me for a moment, her gaze steady. "Good. Because he needs you more than you realize."

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I simply nodded, grateful for her understanding but also feeling that tug in my chest.

He needed me?

The words sounded so simple, but I knew they carried more weight than either of us could truly express.

I wasn’t sure if I was the right person for him, but at least I knew I wasn’t going to turn my back.

Just then, Tim walked into the break room, his tired eyes immediately locking onto me.

The usual exhaustion seemed heavier in his steps, but when he saw me, his face softened, the corners of his lips turning up in a faint smile.

"Hey," he said quietly, his voice rough from the long day.

"Hey," I replied, standing up to hand him the bag of lunch I had brought.

Tim’s eyes flickered over the bag before meeting mine, and for a moment, there was a hesitation in the way he looked at me, like he was unsure whether to accept it or not.

But then he sighed, a weary but grateful exhale, and took the bag.

"You didn’t have to, but... thanks."

I watched as he sat down at one of the nearby tables, unpacking the lunch while I leaned against the counter, my heart quietly thudding in my chest.

Angela, who had been standing by the coffee machine, exchanged a glance with Lucy, her smile now knowing.

Lucy, still leaning against the doorway, gave a small smirk before turning her attention back to Tim.

"So, you finally caved, huh?" she teased, nodding toward the food.

"She’s got you eating lunch now."

Tim rolled his eyes, but there was a soft chuckle beneath the exasperation.

"It’s not like I have much of a choice," he said, still looking at the sandwich like it was some sort of rare treasure.

He glanced up at Lucy.

"Besides, I’m not complaining. I’m just not used to people looking out for me like this."

There was a vulnerability in his voice that I don’t think he meant to show, but it was there, in the quiet undertone, the subtle shift in the way he spoke.

I knew Tim wasn’t the kind of guy to ask for help.

He was the one who fixed problems, not the one who leaned on others.

But somehow, with me, it felt like he was starting to let go of that.

Angela watched the exchange closely, and then, as if sensing the shift in the air, she turned to Lucy.

"You know, Tim’s been through a lot recently," she said quietly, but loud enough for Tim to hear.

"He’s lucky to have someone like Y/n looking out for him."

Tim’s expression softened, but there was a flicker of something, embarrassment, maybe, crossing his face.

He didn’t want to acknowledge what was happening between us, and I could tell he didn’t want to make it into anything more than it already was.

But the way Angela spoke, the way Lucy subtly nodded her head, it felt like the room was starting to see something I hadn’t even fully acknowledged myself.

Tim cleared his throat, looking between the two of them.

"Can we not do this?" he muttered, his usual gruff tone returning.

Lucy just grinned. "We’re just saying, Tim. You’ve got someone good by your side."

He shot her a glare, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, picking up his sandwich.

"Now, let me eat in peace."

I couldn’t help but chuckle at how Tim was, even when the attention was on him.

He was the kind of guy who liked to keep things quiet, low-key, but deep down, he had a heart bigger than anyone could guess.

I’d seen it in the little moments.

In the subtle ways he would smile when he thought no one was looking, the quiet gratitude he’d show when I checked in on him.

But what nobody else saw, what no one else truly understood, was that he wasn’t just letting me help him.

He was starting to let me in.

And that, in itself, was something I’d never taken for granted.

Months went by, each day gently nudging Tim closer to healing.

It wasn’t immediate or obvious, but I could see the small shifts in his demeanor.

The subtle way he would offer a half-smile when I arrived at his door, the ease with which he would share a quiet moment with me on the porch swing.

Slowly, he started to settle into the routine of his life again.

Work at the station, though demanding, seemed to bring some comfort to him, and I often found myself bringing him lunch or joining him for a coffee break, simply to be there, without expectations.

One evening, nearly a year after Isabel left, I found myself sitting with Tim on his porch again.

The night was unusually quiet, the world around us seeming to pause in a peaceful stillness.

The trees swayed gently, and the air smelled like summer, warm and comforting.

Tim had wrapped up his shift earlier than usual, and we found ourselves sitting together, the familiar rhythm of the evening comforting and unhurried.

I stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye. He was staring out at the stars, but I could see the subtle tension in his shoulders.

The way he exhaled a little too deeply, as though he was letting go of something that had been weighing on him.

It was a feeling I had grown used to, the heaviness he carried.

But tonight, it felt like something was different.

The night air was cool, the gentle breeze rustling the leaves above us, and I could feel the calmness settle into my bones.

Everything was quiet, except for the soft rhythm of our breathing and the occasional sound of crickets in the distance.

I turned my head slightly, stealing a glance at Tim.

He was sitting so close, his presence so palpable, but he still had that same tired, thoughtful look in his eyes that I had come to recognize over the past few months.

But now, there was something softer in him, a quiet strength, a peace that hadn’t been there before.

For a moment, I simply let my fingers brush against his, the simple touch lingering in the air between us.

The connection was natural, easy. It wasn’t the first time our hands had brushed like this, but tonight, it felt different.

There was an unspoken understanding between us now, something we hadn’t put into words yet, but that felt like it was always there.

I felt the warmth of his hand against mine, the solidness of it, and it made me realize just how much he had come to mean to me.

Tim looked at me then, his eyes meeting mine with that softness I hadn’t seen before.

It was like he was letting down the last of his walls, the final pieces of the armor he had put up after everything with Isabel.

I could feel the weight of it, the healing that had happened, the painful journey he had been on, and I was there, right beside him, supporting him, but also, silently sharing in his transformation.

"I don’t think I ever really understood what it meant to have someone by your side until now," Tim said, his voice soft but heavy with emotion.

He spoke with such raw honesty that it made my chest tighten.

"I think I’ve always been so used to carrying things alone... But you, you’ve made it easier, without even trying."

I squeezed his hand a little, my heart aching with all the things he hadn’t said out loud but that I could hear in his tone.

"I’m just here for you, Tim," I whispered. "I always will be."

There was a long silence, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

It was full of understanding, full of all the emotions we had shared over the past year.

Tim shifted closer, the space between us becoming just a little smaller, but it wasn’t rushed.

It was like we were both giving ourselves permission to feel this moment, to let it settle in without trying to force anything.

He leaned his head back slightly, his gaze shifting to the stars above us.

The night was clear, and I followed his line of sight, watching the stars twinkle in the vast expanse of sky.

The quiet was soothing, almost as if the universe was holding its breath for us.

"I didn’t know how much I needed this," Tim murmured after a while, his voice barely louder than the breeze.

"You’ve always been here, always had my back. I never really appreciated it until recently."

I turned toward him, my heart swelling with something I couldn’t quite put into words.

"You don’t have to say anything, Tim," I said softly.

"I’m just glad I’m here, that we’re here."

He met my gaze again, and for the first time, I saw something in his eyes that wasn’t just about the past or the hurt he had carried.

There was something new, something tender, something hopeful.

It was like he was letting go of all the things that had weighed him down and opening himself up to what was right in front of him.

"I think… I think I’ve been afraid of letting go for so long," he said, his voice catching slightly.

"Afraid of trusting again, of letting myself care for someone like this. But with you, it’s different. You make me feel like I’m not broken anymore."

My breath hitched, the vulnerability in his words piercing right through me.

I didn’t know what to say, so instead, I reached out, my fingers gently brushing his cheek.

The warmth of his skin beneath my touch made my heart race, and the moment felt so real, so tangible, that it made everything else seem distant.

He looked at me, his eyes holding mine with a quiet intensity.

And then, without another word, Tim leaned in just a little, his breath mingling with mine.

There was no grand gesture, no big confession.

It was just two people, sharing something that had been building for so long.

Something that had been quietly simmering in the background but was now ready to come to the surface.

The kiss came slowly, naturally. Tim’s lips were soft against mine, hesitant at first, like he was testing the waters, unsure of what this all meant.

But as the seconds passed, the kiss deepened, became more certain. His hand moved to my waist, pulling me closer, and I responded, letting myself get lost in the warmth of the moment.

There were no more walls between us, no more hesitation.

It was just us, in that fleeting moment where everything felt right.

When we pulled away, our foreheads rested together, both of us breathing a little heavier, but neither of us moving away.

Tim smiled softly, his thumb brushing across my hand in the gentlest of gestures, and there was a quiet kind of joy in the way he looked at me.

"You make everything better," Tim murmured, his voice low and full of tenderness.

I smiled, my heart swelling with the truth of his words.

"You do the same for me."

And just like that, in the quiet of the night, everything had changed.

The air between us was no longer filled with uncertainty or unspoken words.

It was filled with the promise of something new, something worth exploring.

Tim looked at me one more time, his smile wide, and without hesitation, he kissed me again, deeper this time, like he had found the peace he had been searching for all along.

I closed my eyes, letting myself be wrapped up in the moment, in him, knowing that this was just the beginning of something beautiful.

As we pulled away, I laughed softly, feeling lighter than I had in a long time.

"You’re not so bad, you know?" I teased, my voice playful.

Tim grinned, a spark of mischief lighting up his eyes.

"I could say the same about you."

I leaned back a little, still grinning.

"You know, this whole ‘finding peace’ thing is great and all, but I still have a paper due tomorrow. So… no more distractions from you, okay?"

Tim chuckled, his fingers brushing against mine as he leaned in once more.

"I think you might be the only person who could make me feel guilty about a kiss. But I guess I can’t argue with a paper deadline."

I rolled my eyes, laughing.

"Good. Because I’m already regretting not studying before I decided to spend all my time with you."

Tim smirked. "Well, I’ll make it up to you by making sure you get an A on that paper. I can be pretty persuasive."

"Only if you promise not to distract me more," I shot back with a wink.

Tim raised an eyebrow. "No promises."

And just like that, the world felt right again.

In that moment, with the stars above us and the quiet of the world around us, I knew everything was finally falling into place.

The end

[thejawsofmax]

Klance-coded Pierce the Veil songs !!

— i only did 7 songs but i might make a big post with a few songs from each album that make me think of klance (also please be nice to me, this makes more sense in my head and im bad at describing stuff!!!!!)

Caraphernila

“and baby honestly it’s harder breathing next to you”

i think of it as keith and lance’s envy towards each other. they both feel overshadowed by the other without knowing how much they are admired by them

“hold my heart, it’s beating for you anyway”

holding his heart is letting him feel all of his love and emotions, even if it gets crushed. i think this is how keith and lance’s relationship works. lance is literally one of the only people that makes keith feel seen, being able to understand his emotions with barely any words (i think about the scene where everyone just looks over at lance and waits for him to go comfort keith. and lance does so, not even knowing that everyone was expecting him to do it)

“So what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, I'll be the fire that'll catch you”

i think about this as post canon klance. they have left such a big impact on each other’s lives, and then they just go their separate ways??? like no keith is definitely still thinking about lance who’s down on earth. he doesn’t want to forget him and probably never will

Million Dollar Houses (The Painter)

“would you ever try to leave me for somebody who deserves you most”

i think keith would still have some sort of lingering fear that he isn’t enough for lance, despite not actually dating him. so lance “leaving” him for allura in season 8. this can also play on lance’s insecurities, especially when in comparison to keith

“but, baby no, sometimes things don’t work out the way we planned”

OKAY THIS ONE IS DUMB and like kinda generic but it makes me think of how they were doomed by the writers LMAO

“maybe we’re meant to lose the ones we love but i’ll fight for you till then”

both keith and lance have lost a lot during the series’s events but they keep pushing further (especially with the help of each other)

Flawless Execution

“i’ll scar you with my flawless execution every time”

i think about this a lot with black paladin keith + red paladin lance. they are both learning to step up, wanting to prove themselves worthy of their positions.

“i’m not obsessed, far worse, i’m fine” “i didn’t mean to burden you with love in my condition”

this describes someone who’s love is so intense that it’s overwhelming. this is very klance to me because of how deeply connected they are to each other without even knowing it. keith being the person who gives lance the reassurance he needs, and lance being the person who is able to either push keith to do something or pull him back to rationalize his thoughts. THEY CANT LOVE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE because they are stupid and i hate them

“you and i are blood and wine”

shows how different they are. they’re complete opposites but still somehow complete each other

First Punch

“i’ve got so much to give, but i would kill just to feel less invisible. and you got so much to learn about gravity, so live it up baby don’t look down”

this one is more about lance and his insecurities of being a paladin. although he desperately wanted to use the black lion, (s3 in the ep where they were seeing who the black lion would respond to, lance really hoped it would be him, even sitting in the lion longer than the other paladins did, just hoping it would work) he supported keith and pushed him into stepping into his new role.

the rest of the song is a lot more aggressive and i don’t think it fits keith and lance’s feelings towards each other. like even early season klance doesn’t have the same hatred as in the song but the bridge will always be lance to me

Dive In

“now i wanna be the tattoo ink that swims down through the needle in your skin”

PEAK ROMANCE‼️ i don’t have a lot of reason for this one but being tattoo ink in someone’s skin is like being with someone forever. it makes me think of the permanent scarring there were left with by the end of the series (keith’s face scar after returning to voltron and lance’s altean marks in the finale)

I Don’t Care If You’re Contagious

“And I don't care if you're sick. I don't care if you're contagious. I would kiss you even if you were dead”

this is not really based on any canon content. keith and lance are so deeply intertwined with each other without even knowing it. platonic or romantic, they care about each other. and i have very much think this insane devotion in this song feels like klance core

“I'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin. Till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention. Kiss me while I drive”

PEAK ROMANCE‼️‼️ this song just generally makes me think of ships i like because this song is full of love and devotion i love it

Even When I’m Not With You

“Even when I'm not with you, I'm still with you”

this always makes me think of when keith and lance get separated. especially when keith leaves voltron, he’s still with lance (especially bc i like to think about keith leaving lance with his red lion, giving lance a little piece of him). this can so be post-canon klance because i know they are still thinking about each other even though they’re off doing their own things

“Even when I think I hate you, I still love you”

even despite any fighting, bickering, and disputes, keith and lance always care about each other, wanting them to be able to work together as a team. especially with black paladin keith!!! lance is always trying to make things work because he’s passionate about voltron’s success (and by further extension, wanting keith to be a good leader)

“Look how far we've come. Think I've finally won”

vic fuentes “think i’ve finally won” is in reference to being able to settle down with his wife. and so like i think about this as klance. by the end of the series, they both got their ending (i don’t like lance’s ending i fear) but they actually are “winning” when they are together

notes: IM SORRY A LOT OF THESE ARE POORLY EXPLAINED :(( but i heart klance and ptv so much

my secret useless talent is that i can make any pierce the veil song be about klance

[camellia-thea]

.

[jovieinramshackle]

Oh my god 2025 ummm what the fuck amirite (it's not even for me yet it's over 10pm)

Okay so um hi hey hello. What a year huh (at least for me). So wild I transed my whole gender like damn the she/her to he/him pipeline was so real but ANYWAYS

I already said quite a bit during Christmas here but I would be lying if I said I didn't have a million more things to say. Even more to some certain mutuals/friends that have really been nothing but kind to me. Some old ones, some recent ones, I can't list everyone but I genuinely just appreciate any amount of support and love, big or small.

I've been thinking about whether I should directly say a few things to some mutuals/friends for a while (and I already have to some, but I don't mind repeating myself lol), but I think New Year's is the perfect chance to do so.

Apologies for the tagging in advance SUDISAHFIUHISDE

-

@crystallizsch I have already expressed to you how much I appreciate and grateful I am to you for encouraging me to make this blog, way before we had ever even interacted. I love you a lot buddy, you're absolutely the best<3

@oya-oya-okay OYAAA OYA OYAAA!!! I love you sm my darling friend, your kind words and support have genuinely been some of the biggest reasons I pushed through this year. I know the latter part of this year has been really hard for you, but I want you to know you have my support for whatever you need <3

@viperbunnies YOU HAVE MADE ME SOBBED SM ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GIFTS. I sometimes go back to see your art of my persona or my oc just to make myself feel a little better. Ty for making me feel part of this amazing community (PS. I still get shroompocalypse war flashbacks/j) <3

@fell-e We have mostly chatted on Discord recently and legit you're one of the funniest and nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to! I can't wait to interact more in 2025, you're such a nice person to be around <3

@lficanthaveloveiwantpower Hi Nah! We don't interact really one-on-one, but the kind words you've given me have always made me smile. You're one of the biggest reasons I got comfortable with openly self-shipping and sharing my thoughts about my f/os. And don't even let me mention how much joy your art has given me, you're seriously one of the best artists I've had the pleasure of being mutuals with <3

@theolivetree123 I'm a sucker for your ocs I won't even lie they're always so creative and fun! Still remember the time you asked to be mutuals and I just DIE/pos. It really was a pleasant surprise and I look forward to every post you make, whether it's art or just talking about your ocs and dynamics! You're extremely creative you genuinely inspire me a lot <3

@sunnysidesevenup I KNNNNOOOOWWWW we became moots pretty recently but like. You're so cool dude wtf. Legit freaked out when YOU followed ME first. I got cold feet about following you back for a while ahaha.....but I'm so happy I did you're such a fun dude I love your creations so much too (low-key biased towards Tilly...I love him sm and for what...)

@jadelover69 MIMI YOU ARE SO FUN, JUST SOO FUN TO INTERACT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENERGY IS SOOO SDUBHDSJNAGISBSJDH/POS your reblogs always make me giggle, even if it's just you straight up dying <3 Tysm for showing so much love for my creations, it means the absolute world

@summerspook You madman. I can't believe we've been friends for almost 2 years online. You have helped me through so much stuff, sometimes I even felt guilty about it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of my bestest friends, talking to you is one of the main things I look forward to every day, I can't express how much appreciate you and our friendship <3

-

OKAY THIS IS ALL FOR NOW there are more of you but I can't articulate my thoughts and feelings the best, but either way I love and appreciate all of you with all my heart.

New Year's has slowly lost its meaning for me (I'm neutral about it) but at least I get to use it to show my application to the people who have been with me this year, mutual or not tbh <3

Also if you wanna say something back but not publically, dms are open for mutuals <3

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[lesbeet]

i wish i could live outside of my brain sometimes....it is so fucking loud in here!!!

[pennyserenade]

aw man i got deported dad trauma. did not beat it after all i fear

[wild-at-mind]

Being in a long distance relationship long term is so fucked up. For context for people in bigger countries I'm not talking flying distance from each other, I'm talking about 3 hrs apart on the train, so not that far arguably. But still far enough that our lives are almost completely separate in the practical sense, no matter how much we talk on the phone or meet halfway. When one of us stays over at the other's place we are still guests in each other's homes. I still don't know what cohabiting would be like and what a comfortable normalicy of being in each other's lives in person every day would be like. We're coming up to our 11th anniversary. I don't want to break up with him!!!! I love him deeply and I've never met someone I'm as compatible with as him. I've never been in love like this and I'm not easy to know, and yet he does know me and likes what he sees. I just feel I am stuck and I am frustrated that my sex life is like once every 3 months. I still don't even know how often we would have sex if we lived together, we haven't had the chance to find that rhythm. When we see each other there's no time to do any more involved stuff it's just getting off. Basically everytthing we've talked about has to stay in the realm of fantasy because there's never any fucking time.

I am trying I said to him- you need to do covering letters and things, you can't just send your CV that has never worked. He's the one who wants out of his current job, and out of his town, but applying for jobs is so fucking hard when you're working full time and trying to do things you love to not get fucking depressed. See I understand those things because I would feel the same way. If he moved here we could find a place together and I could find it out if I actually can live with someone else and stay mentally well. I'm getting too dependent on living alone in order to stay mentally well and it worries me.

Sorry to vent. I'm not looking for advice it's just venting.

[metalribcage]

I'm so pissed rn holy shit

[malusokay]

Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.

"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.

Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3

Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.

Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.

Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.

Reaching out more.��fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3

my insta: @ malusokay

love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[sunni-stuff]

Everything changed when that pregnancy test read positive.

The day you fumbled into his office, bearing what you thought to be bad news, John's excited face threw you for a loop.

Wasn't he supposed to be upset? Tell you that he didn't want to have a kid with someone he didn't fully care about? Why was he crying? Why did he embrace you so tenderly?

"I'll be there for both of you, Dovie," Price reassures in the nook of your neck, arms caging you against his chest.

Take care of both of you.

Both?

"M-Mr. Price, with all due respect—"

Price cuts off your protests. He leads you out of his office. His large hand grips your waist more possessively. "Go rest your feet up in the lounge; I'll take care of everything." His lips press to the crown of your head, ushering you away gently at the reception entrance.

You were supposed to have one fun night, not to be locked in for the rest of your lives.

Your days of working at a desk were replaced with John's house. It was far from the bustling base you had grown used to. The space was warm and homey. Bits of memorabilia were scattered about. Medals adorned the walls, and old photos sat on the shelves.

John said you only have one job now: making yourself at home.

There was so much space that you didn't know where to start or even how to start! It's not like there was a plan for having your boss's child! So much was happening so fast it left you overwhelmed, sitting on his couch with nervous hands. "Mr. Price, I'm really not sure about all this; I mean... what we did was a big mistake, right?"

From upstairs, you hear John laugh. He's been up there all morning, fixing the nursery for your child. He wanted to create a special room for them, saying that his kid deserves nothing but the best. Heavy footsteps announce his presence as he closes the distance between you. Calloused fingers grip your chin, forcing you to look into his ocean eyes. "You don't want this?"

His touch has you melting, words dying on your lips as you get lost in those eyes. God, why did he look at you that way? Churning like laundry, your gut writhes. A violent spin cycle grips your innards, knotting and wrenching them mercilessly. "I never—I never said that; I just think we're taking things too fast, don't you?" The half-hearted mumble escapes your lips, unconvincing even to yourself.

John's expression shifts; his eyebrow raises in slight scrutiny. "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here."

He's right.

"I do-"

He cuts in swiftly, voice firm. "You don't."

John's grasp tightens on your chin. He leans in, eyes intense. Your heart races. His lips brush yours. The kiss—chaste yet electric. A moment suspended in time. Emotions flood through you both, unspoken but palpable. "You have me. Whatever you want is yours, all you have to do is say the word."

John waits, poised for your word. His eyes betray a craving—silent, deep, and raw.

He belongs to you. He's all yours.

Your lips purse in a line, lip caught between your teeth.

Anything you want?

"I don't like the color of the nursey..."

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

P1

❥ I wasn't originally gonna do a part 2 but... I really like this one, next fic will be longer, possibly fluff and smut maybe who knows ❥

[nereidprinc3ss]

no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin)

in which spencer reid is gentle with overwhelmed fem!reader after sex

18+ (fluff, implied intimacy) warnings/tags: it's just aftercare, but like psychological aftercare, implied intimacy duh, vague descriptions of sex but nothing explicit, hurt/comfort without the hurt, allusions to postcoital dysphoria, reader cries but its not really sad, spencer reid is so kind i wish men were real, i think that is all a/n: guess who wrote an entirely different thing instead of touching her wips..... AGAIN...... this bitch cant do anything omggg!! but this was based on a request so go me also what a strange time to be posting but it's only 1k words and nobody can stop me

“Hey. Are you with me, angel?”

You blink your eyes open in the dark room—reorienting yourself to the tangle of your bodies. How many minutes has it been?

“Hm?”

He chuckles—a quick huff from his nose as he brings a hand up to push hair from your face. 

“I asked you if you’re with me.”

It takes you a moment to answer. You’re still trying to make sense of where you are in space, each sensation coming back to you one by one—the weight and pressure of him against you, the slip of cotton sheets and a cool breeze from the cracked window over your heated sticky skin. 

“Oh.”

It’s not much of an answer and your voice is small. For a moment he lets it sit, cupping your warm cheek. Your eyes flutter shut again. His voice comes gentler, dipped in concern. 

“You okay?”

This time you don’t try to speak. Your tongue is like a lead weight in your mouth and your brain is running on dial-up. The best you can do is to cling to him, hiding your face in the curve of his neck and hoping he’ll understand that your firm hold on him is a request for him to tighten his own arms around you, until you’re sure you won’t float away. He reciprocates and it makes you feel more secure immediately. 

“Can you answer me?” He murmurs, all sweet solicitation, lips brushing the top of your head in this new airtight position. And then, a moment later— “Baby. I wanna hear your voice.”

“Mhm,” you manage. 

Spencer rewards you by rubbing your back in slow circles. His hand feels nice on your bare skin. The way you love him is too big for words. It could make you cry. 

“Wasn’t too much? You’re not hurting anywhere?”

You shake your head and try to ignore the ache in your bones when you can’t seem to get him close enough. 

“Mm-mm.”

It’s not entirely true—your legs are sore, but it’s nothing that needs tending to, and your lower back is a bit crampy, but he’s already working on that. 

He hums. “You’re pretty out of it, sweet girl. What’s going on with you?”

Spencer is always careful with you. He’d never hurt you, or sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure. That said, he’s just as passionate as you are. The stretch of your arms above your head is still fresh in your mind—the ghost of his grip, pressing your wrists into the mattress, or pushing your leg up, or pulling you exactly where he wanted you by the hips. It’s all wonderful, and you never feel safer than you do when you’re with him, but it doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable, any less raw, after all is said and done. Maybe it’s precisely because you trust him so much that you’re so sensitive afterward. But he never, ever makes you feel bad for having an intense reaction to an intense experience. He always meets you where you’re at. That in itself makes you emotional. Spencer is different than any of the partners you’d had before. 

Again, he’s patient as you try to process his question and work up a response. Maybe a minute later, you’re breathing out something that feels true. 

“Overwhelmed.”

The word is a tap against glass you didn’t know was there until it’s fracturing like a spiderweb. With no warning, and for no good reason, you find yourself choked up. 

“Oh,” he says, sympathetic and drawn out as understanding sets in. “Do you need me to back off for a minute?”

You squeeze him even fiercer and shake your head, unable to stop the tears from drawing their shiny paths down your cheeks and sinking into the weave of the pillow case. 

“Shh. You’re okay,” he murmurs, quiet and slow and almost sing-songy as he smooths your hair, though you know he doesn’t really expect you to stop crying. “You’re okay, pretty. Remember what I said about all the hormonal shifts in your body after you come?”

Once more you nod against him with a small, shuddering sniffle. 

“And how sometimes your body regulates by crying? Kind of like a… a reset button?”

“Mhm.”

“Mhm.” He shifts from rubbing your back to tracing light lines in shapeless patterns with the blunt edges of his nails, and your breath catches before you’re melting in his hold. “It’s okay to have big or confusing feelings after sex. It’s actually really common. I just want you to be honest with me about those feelings, right? So we can keep you safe?”

“Right.”

“Would you tell me if you were hurting, or if something I did or said was bothering you?”

“Yes.”

If you were looking at him you know he’d be smiling ever so slightly at your monosyllabic responses, charting an upward path with his hand and pushing it through your hair at the nape of your neck. “You can just nod, baby. You don’t have to talk. I know you’re tired.”

You make a small noise of gratitude and nuzzle closer, feeling better as the tears slow, quickly as they’d come. 

“Do you want a bath in a little while?”

Another nod. He scratches at your scalp. “Okay. We’ll do a bath, and then dinner, and then I’m finally going to make you watch that documentary about Helvetica. It’s a little outdated, and there are a few basic errors about the origin and development of the font as well as misinformation about the typeface subgroup in general, but I can amend those as we watch and afterward we can read the director’s tenth anniversary statement. I was waiting to read it until we watched it together.”

Spencer knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll fall asleep ten minutes in, curled up on the couch under a blanket in your biggest hoodie with your head on his lap and his hand in your hair, just like this. 

He’s actually really looking forward to it.

[grriki]

This made permanent changes to my brain

not you / nishimura riki

synopsis: out of all the people that could've hurt me, i didn't expect one of them to be you.

warnings: angst and angst and more angst, heartbreaks, toxic behavior, mixed signals, cheating, lmk if i missed anything else.

pairing: riki x reader, takes place in college

wc: 14.7k

With your phone alarm going off, you come out of the bathroom, ready and prepared for the day ahead of you. Numbers on the clock tell you that you have enough time to eat breakfast, brush your teeth then head to your first class of the day. When we say breakfast, we mean coffee and maybe toast bread (if you're lucky) because that's the kind of luxury living in a dorm gets you. Roommates aren't always the best thing ever but lucky you, you did not get the shorter end of the stick. Because of Bahiyyih, she was a year above you but that did not matter since you two seem like long lost sisters. She's definitely one of the reasons why you are currently mentally sane.

Unfortunately, she'll also be the reason why you meet the one that will make your college life a living hell and test that sanity of yours. Being close to her means you come along to her brothers' dancing competitions, being at those competitions also means you meeting Nishimura Riki...

Here's the thing, there was nothing wrong with Riki, when you first met the rest of Huening Kai's dance group members; Riki was the most kind and most welcoming. He was someone who you clicked with so easily, someone who presented himself as if he was so trustworthy... emphasis on 'was'. Because right now, the man standing in front of you is reminding you what 'hindsight' is.

It started during your freshman year, after gaining a solid friendship with Bahiyyih; she wanted to bring you to one of her brother's performances for the school's event. You never minded going to them because you enjoyed musical art in your own time as well. When you went to see these events, you only ever looked at the group as a whole, judging their skills and expertise. That was until you went backstage to see Huening Kai. His group just won first place and you went over with Bahiyyih to congratulate them.

That's when your life was going to start shifting because when you knocked on the door, Riki opened the door with a warm smile, and gestured you guys to enter. "Hiyyih, nice to see you again" he says in a sarcastic tone, showing the close-ness he has with Bahiyyih as well.

"Oh Riki, I love seeing you around" Hiyyih responds back with the same kind of sarcasm. "This is yn, be nice". You looked up at him, and geez did that feel like an effort to do since he was 6ft tall, maybe even more than that. He smiles shyly as he notices how cute your height difference was. "Wow, look at Riki boy being all shy, that's new". one of the other guys say, which you later find out it was a senior named Heeseung.

"Leave him alone guys before he becomes beet red" Huening Kai walks in and greets you after. You look back at Riki who was still opening the door, standing in the same spot. "You okay there, bud?" Kai nudges him; getting him out of his trance. "What? Love at first sight?"

There you have it, your little meet-cute with Riki, it is also the day that marks the teasing shipping by everyone that knew you two. But that did not stop Riki from sticking around, it's like the teasing only egged him on to bother you as well. Since that day, nothing could have prepared you for the antics and shenanigans Riki would add into your life. But you weren't complaining.

"What's going on with you and Riki?"

"Are you two dating?"

"Do you like him?"

You felt like you were being interrogated by your friends at the lunch table. Since they saw that Riki treated you for boba tea and cake, also they noticed how he would constantly do romantic things for you, which you had to try your best to explain how you were friends and that he was just a natural gentleman.

"Yeah, cause any guy would go out of their way to get you things in the middle of the night, offer to run errands for you, and buy you flowers just because...why not?" At this point, your friends were setting you up for failure since they were not letting you rebuttal and debunk their theories.

"Guys, I swear...we are just friends." shoving another spoonful in your mouth and rolling your eyes at your friends. Look, you had no issue with the constant teasing and shipping but sometimes they can push it.

"Oh yeah, then why is he coming over with a bag of goodies like he knows you're on your period today?" turning around, and yes, he was coming over to your table with a black plastic bag filled with necessities. "Hey yn, I picked up some stuff when I went to the convenience with the boys." He hands over the bag and you take it with a smile. "Wait, why did you-"

"I just took notice to your cycle-" Riki stops himself when he realized how shocked you looked and maybe started thinking that he was a psycho. "Oh- OH wait...did that sound weird...I'm sorry." soon after, you had to assure him that it was okay and that you never expected it.

After he leaves, you sit back down and face your friends who had a certain look and smile on their faces. Some of them raising their eyebrows at you, like they want to say "just friends, huh?"

"Don't even start" warning them but the look still remains on their face. Again, rolling your eyes and focusing back to eating lunch before you had to drag your feet to your next class.

Guess what? you have that next dreaded class with him.

Later, you're in your usual seat, re reading the notes in case the professor wants to suddenly have a pop quiz. So focused that you do not realize that he already sat next to you. "Do we have an exam that I don't know about?" eyes leaving the notebook to look at him, one bicep on the table, head held by his palm. He's rocking the same hip hop fit and classic smirk.

"Why do you have to stress yourself out like this, relax yn" taking the book out of your hands and closing it. Before you could say anything, he places it on his desk and looks back at you. "There's no pop quiz or exam, the professor isn't even coming to class."

"What if there's a substitute and they give us a task?" chuckling, he looks at the wall clock and gives you an ultimatum. "In the next 20 minutes, if no one shows up, let's get out of here and just hang?" This was nothing new, Riki has always proposed this idea to you but never got to happen. So, you always just say yes.

Usually after he would give the ultimatum, the professor or the sub with walk in. To which you see the disappointment in his eyes as he slumps in his chair, along with a "I hate this class".

But this time, it has passed 15 minutes and no one else but your classmates have entered the room. For those 15 minutes, Riki has been mentally planning on what he's going to do or where he's going to take you if you both do end up leaving. Why was he even nervous, he's been out with you, multiple times...but in groups.

Another 5 minutes goes by and before Riki could bask in his victory, someone from the faculty comes in. You smirk and rub his back jokingly. He looks back at you and sends you a death glare. "You hate me that much? You can't even spend an hour and a half alone with me?" As he starts pouting, the professor speaks up.

"Your professor won't be able to make it in today, he also did not leave any task or assignment, so you are free to go." now the reactions are switched, your smirk fading and Riki's pout turning into a smile.

Now, you find yourself in the newly opened cafe in the campus. With a very happy Riki. "Now that I think about it, you're stuck with me for 4 years, and maybe even beyond that. You know...after graduation." He sips on his coffee and whips out his phone. "What if I move schools?"

"Then I'll just have to follow you there." Taking a picture of the food and while you were looking out the window, he snaps a quick picture. "You look pretty, yn." its times like this where you start to question if your friends were right and maybe Riki has feelings for you, but you think back to his interactions with other females; he pretty much acts the same towards them...but does he call other girl pretty and take them out to more than just friendly dates?

"Riki, can I ask you something?" You couldn't let this live on anymore, you had to get a straight answer from him, getting the answer to this 'what are we' situation you both were in.

"Sure, anything."

"Even if it might change our friendship?" He pauses but bounces back quickly and proceeds to shrug. "It can't be that bad, shoot"

"Do you perhaps...like me? romantically?" Looking straight at him. "I just...I'm getting mixed signals from you and I-"

"I do"

"What?"

"I really do"

From that moment on, your freshman year was occasionally filled with Nishimura Riki.

In the beginning, everything was molded perfectly into your life, nothing seemed to overlap, had a handful academic stress but had resilience. Riki was the addition that you loved. In the beginning.

The first official date happened a week after that talk, Riki decided to go to your dorm room, which was extremely restricted to males, but somehow, he slipped through the wire and convinced you to go on a spontaneous date. He took you to a park and you two had a picnic and played soccer together. It was a fun time, getting to know Riki and him getting to know you on a different level and for a different reason.

The first kiss was when you were at a little group hang out, Riki and his friends separated from you and the others, only to come back with funny disguises; embarrassing you guys by dancing and singing loudly in the middle of the mall and only promising to stop if you kissed his cheek. Which you were going to do but he moved his face so you could kiss his lips.

The first 'I love you' was when it was spring break for freshman year when Riki had to go back to his hometown to visit his family. When you two were saying your goodbyes, you said the three little words.

As the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm glow over the campus, you and Riki found yourselves standing beneath a blossoming cherry blossom tree. It was the last day before spring break, and Riki's hometown beckoned him back to his family.

Finally, with a soft sigh, you looked up at him, your gaze filled with affection and vulnerability. "I love you," you whispered, the words hanging in the air between you like delicate petals.

Riki's heart skipped a beat as he processed your confession, a rush of warmth flooding his chest. He felt a lump form in his throat, overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions. "I love you too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with sincerity.

A little fast forward to second year, you were now both sophomores; still going strong as a couple. It been roughly 8 months since you two got together in February, during your freshman year. Now we stand in September, the very first day of your sophomore year. First day was always nerve wracking for you, no matter what because you have too much to look forward to but also so many things to worry about.

But still, your main focus and priority was still to be on the grind, work your butt off to get high grades, do extra-curricular activities, but still making times for friends and loved ones.

And that's what you made sure to do, months passed, and you were one of the few students who were on the top of their classes but still manage to have their own private life, to others; you make it look so easy.

"Got time for your boyfriend, or no?" Putting down your book and then sitting down next to you, Riki had a pout on his face, giving you puppy eyes. "You seem to like this book more than me these days" continuing to sulk until you give in and give him attention for the rest of the day.

"I just have an exam coming up, that's all." You try to reason but nothing ever seems to work for Riki, "I still reach out and keep you updated though" unfazed, he simple places his face to rest on his palm, still facing you with the same pout and puppy eyes. Sighing, putting down your reviewers and pens, asking him what he wants.

"I'm not taking you completely away from your study time, I know how important this is to you but take a break, let's go out and get some snacks, then we can come back here and I can study with you?"

Now you knew your boyfriend, and this man does not study. But somehow, still gets decent grades, far from a failing one. "You? studying, that's funny."

"Hey, I'm turning a new leaf, I want to match my smarty pants of a girlfriend." Rolling your eyes as you pack your things. After zipping up your bag, Riki goes to carry your bag for you, along with his.

You really felt like Riki was meant to be in your life and you were meant to be in his. The two of you just seemed too perfect for one another, as said by many people in your life. The support, love, and genuine care you have for one another was something you rarely see in college couples. Others tried to find a flaw in you two but somehow, nothing seemed to come to the light. Sure, there were small arguments here and there but even for your first big fight, you both never screamed nor yelled at ech other to get your point across. It was all clear and patient communication to fix whatever caused the problem. It was never you vs him, it was always you two vs the problem.

"Seriously, have you ever seen a more inseparable pair? They're like two peas in a pod!" Kai says while gesturing to Riki and You

"I know, right? I'm convinced nothing could tear those two apart." Hiyyih nods in agreement

"Yeah, not even a tornado or a zombie apocalypse could break their bond. They're like the ultimate relationship goals." Jay laughs as he watched you two from the distance.

"Hey, let's not jinx it. Knowing these two, they'd probably take on a zombie horde together and come out unscathed." Heeseung raises his eyebrows but says sarcastically.

-

"Can you calm down; you're stressing me out!" one of the guys on the dance team takes hold of Riki's jittering self. Clearly, he was under stress and pressure to do well in this event. "Yeah Riki, you'll do great, like always" Kai comes up to him and pats him on the back.

"Yeah, but this time, I have a solo part and what if I-"

"You won't. You're literally a born to be dancer and performer." there you are, what Riki needed right now. Walking into the room giving him the biggest hug you could give him but considering the height difference, you were more like a baby bear to him.

"You've got this, Riki. Just remember to breathe and let your passion flow through every movement."

"Thanks, Babe. I don't know what I'd do without you here."

The emcee's voice echoes through the speakers, announcing the next performance. Riki takes a deep breath, centering himself as he steps onto the stage, the spotlight illuminating his figure.

As the music begins to play, Riki's movements are fluid and graceful, his body seemingly moving in perfect harmony with the rhythm. Each step is imbued with emotion, a testament to his dedication and talent.

From the wings, You watch with bated breath, heart swelling with pride as you witness Riki's mesmerizing performance.

As Riki reaches the climax of his solo, the audience erupts into applause, their cheers filling the auditorium with thunderous applause. Your eyes shimmer with tears of joy as you rush forward to embrace Riki backstage, admiration for him overflowing.

"That was incredible, Riki! You were absolutely breathtaking up there."

There was someone in the crowd who thought the very same about Riki...Remember the talk where your friends were joking how nothing could tear you apart? Yeah, the 'nothing' was there at the auditorium.

It's a typical day on campus, with students bustling between classes and the air filled with the hum of activity. Riki is sitting in a lecture hall, scribbling notes furiously as the professor drones on about the intricacies of a science theory. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door, and the professor pauses, motioning for Riki to step outside.

Riki furrows his brow in confusion but follows the professor's lead, stepping out into the hallway where a man in a sharp suit awaits him. The man exudes an air of confidence and authority, and Riki's curiosity is piqued.

"Riki, I presume? My name is Hiro Endo. I was at your performance yesterday, and I must say, I was thoroughly impressed." Extending a hand

Riki's eyes widen in surprise, his heart pounding with excitement. He shakes Hiro's hand eagerly, his mind racing with possibilities.

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from you. But may I ask what brings you here?"

"I represent one of the most renowned entertainment companies abroad, and I believe you have the potential to be a star. Your talent is undeniable, and I would like to offer you and a fellow member of your dance team an incredible opportunity to work with us."

Riki's heart skips a beat at the mention of such a life-changing opportunity. He glances around, searching for his friend from the dance team, who steps forward with a mixture of excitement and disbelief.

"I… I don't know what to say."

"Take a look at these documents. Everything is legitimate, I assure you. This is a chance for you to pursue your passion on a global stage, with all expenses covered and a generous compensation package."

Riki's hands tremble slightly as he flips through the documents, his mind whirling with the magnitude of the opportunity before him. He looks up at Hiro, his eyes shining with determination.

"I'll do it. I'll take the chance."

Hiro's smile widens, sensing Riki's commitment to seize the opportunity before him. With a firm handshake and a promise of further details to come, they part ways, leaving Riki with a newfound sense of purpose and excitement for the future.

As Riki returns to his class, the weight of the decision he's just made settles in his chest.

As Riki navigates the rest of his day, the weight of Hiro's offer hangs heavily on his mind. With each passing moment, the pros and cons of accepting the opportunity to go abroad to South Korea swirl through his thoughts, leaving him torn between excitement and apprehension.

During his next class, Riki finds it difficult to concentrate, his mind wandering back to the conversation with Hiro and the tantalizing prospect of pursuing his passion on a global stage. He imagines the vibrant dance scene in South Korea, the opportunity to learn and grow as an artist, and the chance to make a name for himself on an international level. But alongside the excitement, a nagging sense of doubt gnaws at him.

As the afternoon stretches on, Riki decides to seek solace in the one person who knows him best: Yn. He sends her a text, asking if they can meet up later that evening to talk. With each passing hour, the anticipation builds, and Riki finds himself grappling with the decision of whether to tell Yn about the offer now or wait until it's officially in writing.

On one hand, he wants to share his excitement and fears with Yn, knowing that she'll offer him the support and guidance he needs. But on the other hand, he worries about burdening her with his uncertainties and fears, especially when the offer is still tentative.

As evening falls and Riki meets Yn at their favorite spot-on campus, he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation ahead. He knows that whatever decision he makes, Yn will be by his side every step of the way. And with her unwavering support, he feels ready to face whatever the future may hold.

"Yn, there's something I need to talk to you about."

You look at him, expression a mix of curiosity and concern. Senses the gravity of his words and braces self for what's to come.

"What is it, Riki? You seem… tense."

Riki meets your gaze, his eyes reflecting a mixture of excitement and uncertainty "A talent agent approached me. He offered me an incredible opportunity to work abroad with one of the most renowned entertainment companies in South Korea."

Your heart skips a beat at Riki's words, a mixture of pride and apprehension washing over you. You knew this day would come, but the reality of it hits harder than anticipated.

"Wow, Riki, that's… that's amazing! Congratulations!" forcing a smile.

Riki reaches for your hand, his touch gentle and reassuring "I know it's a lot to take in, but I truly believe we can make this work, Yn. We've always been so good at communication, and with technology these days, staying connected will be easier than ever. Plus, think of all the opportunities this could open up for both of us."

Your heart aches at Riki's optimism, knowing deep down that your relationship will face challenges you both can't simply overcome with good intentions and video calls. Again, forces a smile, masking your inner turmoil as you squeezes Riki's hand gently.

Softly "Riki, I appreciate your optimism, I really do. But… but we both know that long-distance relationships are incredibly hard. And with your career taking off like this, I… I don't want to hold you back."

Now it Riki's heart to sink at your words, the weight of uncertainty hitting him like a punch to the gut. He had hoped you would share in his excitement, but now he realizes the depth of the fears and doubts.

"Yn, I… I don't want to lose you. You mean everything to me, and I can't imagine my life without you by my side."

Your eyes glisten with unshed tears as you meet Riki's gaze, voice barely above a whisper.

"Riki, I love you. And I want nothing more than to see you succeed and chase your dreams. But… but I can't ignore the reality of the situation. Sometimes love isn't enough to bridge the distance."

Riki's heart shatters at Yn's words, the realization dawning on him that their love may not be enough to overcome the obstacles that lie ahead. With a heavy heart, he pulls Yn into a tight embrace, holding her close as they silently grapple with the uncertain future that lies ahead.

"Yn, please… just hear me out. I know this won't be easy, but I truly believe we have what it takes to make it work."

Your gaze flickers with a mixture of longing and uncertainty, heart torn between the love you feel for Riki and the fear of the unknown that lies ahead.

"Riki, I want to believe that too, I really do. But… but how can we be sure? What if the distance becomes too much to bear?"

"Because I know, deep in my heart, that our love is stronger than any distance. We've overcome obstacles before, Yn, and this will be no different. We'll make it work, together."

"Yn, I promise you, with every fiber of my being, that I will do whatever it takes to make this work. I won't let our love slip away, not now, not ever. Please, just give us a chance."

With a trembling breath, you nods slowly, a flicker of hope igniting within you. "Okay, Riki. Okay, let's give it a try."

-

You wake up to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, the warmth of Riki's embrace wrapping around you like a cocoon. With a contented sigh, you nuzzle closer to him, cherishing the fleeting moments of peace before the day's responsibilities pull you apart.

-

Hand in hand, you stroll through the vibrant bustle of the campus, the chatter of students and the rustle of leaves creating a symphony of life around you. With every step, you steal glances at Riki, committing the curve of his smile and the sparkle in his eyes to memory, knowing that soon they'll be but distant echoes in your mind.

-

Underneath the shade of a towering oak tree, you and Riki share a picnic lunch, the taste of homemade sandwiches and sweet strawberries a bittersweet reminder of the moments you'll soon leave behind. You laugh and reminisce, savoring the precious hours you have left together before the inevitable goodbye.

-

As the sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, you and Riki steal away to your favorite spot on campus, a secluded bench overlooking the city skyline. In the quiet stillness of the evening, you wrap yourselves in each other's arms, the weight of the impending farewell heavy on your hearts.

With a heavy sigh, you press your forehead against Riki's, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours in a silent exchange of love and longing. In the depths of his gaze, you find solace and strength, drawing courage from the unspoken promise that your love will endure, no matter the distance.

-

In these fleeting moments, Yn finds solace and strength in the love she shares with Riki, cherishing every precious second before they must part ways.

-

The airport terminal buzzes with the energy of travelers coming and going, but for you and Riki, the world narrows to a single, heart-wrenching moment. Hand in hand, you stand amidst the throng of people, your fingers intertwined as you cling to each other desperately, unwilling to let go.

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you gaze up at Riki, your heart aching with the weight of your impending separation. His face mirrors your own emotions, etched with sadness and longing.

"I don't want to leave you, Yn. I can't bear the thought of being apart from you."

You choke back a sob, your throat tight with emotion. "I know, Riki. I feel the same way. But… but we have to be strong. We'll find a way to make this work, I promise."

Your words hang in the air like a fragile thread, tethering you together in the face of uncertainty. But as the minutes tick by, the reality of your impending goodbye looms ever closer, casting a shadow over your fragile hope.

It's only when your friend Kai approaches, his expression solemn yet compassionate, that you realize the time has come to part ways. With a heavy heart, you turn to Riki, your eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Guys, it's time. The boarding call has been announced."

Riki's grip tightens on your hand, his heart breaking at the finality of Kai's words. With a trembling breath, he presses a tender kiss to your forehead, his touch a silent vow of love and devotion.

"I'll never forget you, Yn. I'll carry you with me wherever I go."

Your voice catches in your throat as you return Riki's kiss, your heart overflowing with love and longing.

"I love you, Riki. Always and forever."

With one last lingering embrace, you reluctantly release each other, your hearts heavy with the weight of your farewell. With tears streaming down your cheeks, you watch as Riki disappears into the crowd, leaving behind a void that echoes with the echo of your love.

As you watch Riki's retreating figure, you cling to the hope that one day, your paths will cross again, and you'll find your way back to each other, stronger and more resilient than ever before.

The car ride home from the airport is silent, the weight of Riki's absence hanging heavy in the air. You stare blankly out the window, your mind a whirlwind of emotions as tears trace silent paths down your cheeks.

As the car pulls up to your doorstep, your phone pings with a notification. With trembling hands, you unlock the screen to find a message from Riki, accompanied by a selfie that pierces your heart like a dagger. In the photo, Riki's red eyes and tear-streaked face speak volumes, a stark reminder of the pain you both feel in your separation.

Your fingers tremble as you open the message, your heart breaking with each word.

Riki's Text: "Goodbye, Yn. I'll call as soon as I land. I love you, always."

"Yn, we're here for you. Lean on us, okay?" You look up to find Bahiyyih's compassionate gaze, her eyes brimming with empathy. Around her, Jay and Kai stand in solidarity, their silent presence a comforting anchor amidst the storm of emotions.

With a shaky breath, you nod, allowing yourself to be enveloped in the warmth of your friends' embrace.

-

As the third year of college unfolds, you find yourself immersed in a whirlwind of classes, assignments, and extracurricular activities, each day passing in a blur of busyness and routine. But amidst the chaos of student life, there's a quiet sense of contentment that settles over you, a reassuring reminder that even in Riki's absence, your love endures.

In the four months since Riki left, you've thrown yourself into your studies with renewed focus and determination, channeling your energy into academic pursuits and personal growth. The days blur together in a blur of lectures and late-night study sessions, but through it all, Riki's presence lingers like a guiding light, his love a steady anchor amidst the tumult of college life.

Despite the distance between you, your bond with Riki remains as strong as ever, nurtured by late-night phone calls, heartfelt messages, and the occasional video chat. Each interaction is a precious lifeline, a reminder of the deep connection you share and the promise of a future reunited.

As the weeks turn into months, you take solace in the knowledge that despite the miles that separate you, your love knows no bounds. And though the road ahead may be long and uncertain, you face it with courage and conviction, secure in the knowledge that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you and Riki will weather them together, stronger than ever before.

The soft glow of your phone illuminates the darkness of your room as you settle in for another late-night study session. With a tired sigh, you pull up your phone, a smile tugging at your lips as you wait for Riki's familiar face to appear on the screen.

After a moment, his face pops up, his eyes lighting up with a grin as he sees you. "Hey, love," he says, his voice warm and filled with affection.

"Hey, Riki," you reply, your heart fluttering at the sight of him. "How's your day been?"

Riki leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. "Busy, as usual. But seeing your face makes it all worth it."

You feel a blush creep onto your cheeks at his words, a warm rush of affection washing over you. "You're such a sweetheart," you say, unable to contain your smile.

For the next hour, you and Riki lose yourselves in conversation, sharing stories about your day and trading jokes and laughter. Despite the miles that separate you, the connection between you feels as strong as ever, each moment spent together a cherished reminder of the love you share.

As the clock ticks past midnight, you reluctantly bid Riki goodbye, knowing that another day of classes awaits you both in the morning.

In the bustling cafeteria, you and your friends gather around a table, the lively chatter of students filling the air with warmth and energy. As you dig into your lunches, a familiar face approaches you, a hopeful smile playing on his lips.

"Hey, Yn," he says, his voice tinged with nervousness. "I was wondering if you'd like to grab coffee sometime? Maybe go see a movie?"

Your heart skips a beat at the unexpected invitation, but you offer him a gentle smile. "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend. I appreciate the offer though."

With a disappointed nod, the guy retreats, leaving you to return your attention to your friends. But as you resume your conversation, a question lingers in the back of your mind, like a faint whisper of doubt.

It's Bahiyyih who voices the unspoken concern, her brow furrowed with curiosity. "Hey, Yn, what if someone else likes Riki? What if people start asking him out?"

Your heart clenches at the thought, a surge of protectiveness welling up within you. You take a moment to collect your thoughts before responding, your voice firm yet tinged with uncertainty.

"I trust Riki," you say, your words a quiet affirmation of your faith in your relationship. "And I trust in the love we share. If someone else likes him, well… it's flattering, but it doesn't change how I feel about him."

Later that evening, as you and Riki settle in for your nightly video call, you can't help but share a lighthearted moment with him. With a playful smile, you recount the encounter at the cafeteria.

Riki's laughter fills the screen, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You chuckle at his teasing remark, feeling a warm flutter in your chest at his words. "Well, he definitely got the wrong idea. But it was kind of funny."

As the conversation winds down, you both find yourselves drifting off to sleep, the comforting presence of each other's voice lulling you into peaceful dreams. With your phones still on video call, you share a silent moment of intimacy, the soft glow of the screen casting a warm halo around your faces.

The next following months were just like that, Riki and you still communicated. Things were different, that's for sure.

Now, you were in your 2 months of the second semester of third year. Riki was now preparing for new upcoming performances, both of ypu had realized that in this time of year, you both are busy and have less time for one another.

As the clock ticks past midnight, you find yourself nestled in the familiar comfort of your dorm room, the soft glow of your phone casting shadows across the walls. With each passing minute, anticipation builds in your chest as you wait for Riki's late-night video call, a nightly ritual that brings you both closer despite the distance between you.

But as the hours stretch on, the silence of the room grows deafening, broken only by the soft hum of the ceiling fan and the distant sounds of laughter from down the hall. With each passing minute, a gnawing sense of unease creeps into your mind, overshadowing the excitement that had filled you earlier.

You check your phone for what feels like the hundredth time, hoping for a message or a missed call from Riki, but the screen remains stubbornly blank, devoid of any notifications. A frown creases your brow as you glance at the time once more, realizing with a sinking feeling that Riki's late-night call isn't coming tonight.

As the minutes turn into hours, you wrestle with a whirlwind of emotions, from disappointment and frustration to worry and concern. Thoughts race through your mind, each one more unsettling than the last. What if something happened to Riki? What if he forgot about your call? What if…?

With a heavy sigh, you push aside the barrage of doubts and fears, choosing instead to focus on the love and trust you share with Riki. You remind yourself that he's likely caught up in rehearsals or meetings, his busy schedule leaving little time for anything else.

But even as you try to rationalize his absence, a small part of you can't shake the feeling of loneliness that settles over you like a heavy blanket. You long for the familiar sound of his voice, the warmth of his laughter, the comfort of his presence.

With a resigned sigh, you resign yourself to another night spent apart, the glow of the phone screen casting a soft halo around you as you drift off to sleep, holding onto the hope that tomorrow will bring the reassurance and connection you crave.

As Riki steps into his apartment, exhaustion weighs heavily on his shoulders, a testament to the long hours spent at dance practice followed by a whirlwind of classes and meetings throughout the day. With a weary sigh, he kicks off his shoes and drops his bag by the door, his thoughts drifting to you, thousands of miles away in Japan.

Glancing at the clock, Riki's heart sinks as he realizes how late it's gotten. It's already well past midnight, and the thought of interrupting your sleep with a late-night video call fills him with guilt.

With a conflicted sigh, Riki debates whether to reach out to you anyway, knowing how much he craves the connection and comfort of your voice. But as he weighs the pros and cons, a sense of responsibility tugs at his conscience, reminding him of the importance of rest and self-care, both for himself and for you.

Reluctantly, Riki sets his phone aside, knowing that the late hour is no time to disturb your sleep. Instead, he resolves to send you a text in the morning, a simple gesture to let you know that he's thinking of you, even when they're apart.

As he settles into bed, the soft glow of his phone casting shadows across the room, he drifts off to sleep, wrapped in the warmth of your memory.

For Riki, the demands of his dance career and rigorous training schedule weigh heavily on his mind, leaving him little time or energy to devote to anything else. Each day is a relentless cycle of rehearsals, performances, and late-night practice sessions, leaving him drained and exhausted by the time he collapses into bed.

As the weeks slip by in a blur of obligations and responsibilities, you find yourself struggling to keep up with the demands of college life while navigating the increasingly distant landscape of your relationship with Riki. Despite your best efforts to stay connected, communication between you has become sparse and erratic, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty and longing.

Each day is a delicate balancing act, a relentless juggling of classes, assignments, and extracurricular activities, all while trying to carve out precious moments to connect with Riki. But no matter how hard you try, the distance between you seems to grow wider with each passing day, leaving you feeling increasingly isolated and alone.

The once constant stream of texts and calls has dwindled to a trickle, leaving you yearning for the warmth of Riki's voice and the comfort of his presence. Each unanswered message feels like a tiny dagger to the heart, a painful reminder of the growing chasm between you.

In the quiet moments of solitude, you find yourself haunted by doubts and insecurities, wondering if Riki still cares as deeply for you as he once did. The silence weighs heavily on your mind, casting a shadow over the once bright and hopeful future you imagined together.

But despite the uncertainty that clouds your thoughts, a part of you still clings to hope, holding onto the belief that love has a way of overcoming even the greatest obstacles. You remind yourself that distance is just a temporary hurdle, and that as long as you and Riki remain committed to each other, you'll find a way to weather the storm together.

And so, as the weeks turn into months, you hold onto the promise of better days ahead, trusting in the strength of your love to guide you through the darkness and into the light. For even in the midst of uncertainty, you know that with Riki by your side, anything is possible.

As you take a much-needed study break, you absentmindedly scroll through your social media feed, hoping for a momentary distraction from the weight of your thoughts. But as you idly flick through the photos and updates, your heart lurches painfully in your chest at the sight of a familiar face.

There, amidst the sea of posts and selfies, is a picture of Riki, his arm casually draped around the shoulder of a girl you don't recognize. The image is a stark reminder of the distance between you, a painful testament to the reality of your fading connection.

Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at the photo, your mind struggling to process the flood of emotions crashing over you like a tidal wave. Jealousy, hurt, and betrayal swirl together in a tumultuous whirlwind, threatening to overwhelm your fragile heart.

With trembling fingers, you tap on the photo, your heart pounding in your chest as you read the caption beneath it. "Fun day out with my favorite person ❤️ #love #happyducky"

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, each one a painful reminder of the intimacy and closeness shared between Riki and the girl in the photo. A sense of betrayal gnaws at your insides, leaving you feeling raw and exposed, as if your world has been turned upside down in an instant.

Tears blur your vision as you stare at the screen, your mind racing with a million questions and doubts. In that moment, as you sit alone in your room, surrounded by the suffocating silence of your own thoughts, the pain of heartbreak washes over you like a tidal wave, threatening to drag you under.

With a heavy heart and trembling fingers, you reach for your phone, the weight of the day's revelation pressing down on your shoulders. Despite the ache in your chest, you muster the courage to send a text to Riki, your fingers hesitating over the keys as you struggle to find the right words.

"Riki, we need to talk. Please call me when you get this."

With a shaky breath, you hit send, the message disappearing into the digital abyss as you wait anxiously for a response that never comes. The minutes stretch into hours, but your phone remains stubbornly silent, devoid of any sign of life from Riki.

As you climb into bed, the weight of uncertainty settles over you like a heavy blanket, casting a shadow over the once familiar comfort of your room. Despite your exhaustion, sleep eludes you, your mind consumed with thoughts of Riki and the painful realization of his betrayal.

With a heavy sigh, you curl up beneath the covers, your heart heavy with the weight of unanswered questions and unspoken truths. In the silence of the night, you find yourself grappling with a maelstrom of emotions, each one more overwhelming than the last.

As you drift off into fitful sleep, your dreams haunted by echoes of Riki's laughter and the warmth of his embrace, you can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring. But for now, all you can do is wait, the uncertainty of the future looming large in the darkness, a silent reminder of the fragile nature of love and trust.

With a groggy groan, you roll over in bed, your hand fumbling for your phone on the nightstand. The sound of its insistent ringing fills the room, pulling you reluctantly from the depths of sleep.

Groggily, you glance at the caller ID, your heart skipping a beat as you see Riki's name flashing on the screen. Without bothering with a proper greeting, you answer the phone with a sassy tone, your words laced with a hint of annoyance.

"What, did you finally remember you have a phone?"

There's a moment of silence on the other end of the line, and you can almost hear the surprise in Riki's voice as he responds, his words tinged with uncertainty.

"Uh, good morning to you too, Yn. Is everything okay?"

Despite your frustration, a pang of guilt tugs at your conscience at the concern in Riki's voice. With a sigh, you relent, your tone softening slightly as you reply.

"Yeah, sorry. I just… didn't expect to hear from you, that's all."

There's a pause as Riki absorbs your words, his voice gentle as he speaks.

"I know things have been rough lately, but I want to talk about it. Can we meet up?"

As confusion swirls in your mind, you can't help but furrow your brow in disbelief. "What do you mean, meet up? You're in South Korea."

There's a brief pause on the other end of the line before Riki's voice comes through, filled with an unexpected urgency. "Just… open your front door, Yn."

Your heart races with anticipation as you rush to the door, your hands trembling with excitement. With a flick of the lock, you swing it open, your eyes widening in shock at the sight before you.

There, standing on your doorstep, is Riki, a sheepish grin spreading across his face as he holds up his phone in a gesture of greeting. "Surprise," he says, his voice tinged with excitement and relief.

Your jaw drops in astonishment, your mind struggling to process the surreal sight before you. "Riki, what are you doing here? How did you…?"

But before you can finish your sentence, Riki steps forward, enveloping you in a warm embrace that sends shivers down your spine. "I couldn't stay away any longer," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. "I needed to see you."

Tears prick at your eyes as you return the embrace, your heart overflowing with a dizzying mix of joy, relief, and disbelief. In that moment, as you stand together on your doorstep, the distance and misunderstandings of the past few weeks melt away, replaced by the overwhelming certainty of your love for each other.

As Riki takes in the redness of your eyes, concern etches his features, but before he can voice his worry, you step back, breaking free from his embrace. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he looks at you, searching your face for answers.

"What's wrong, Yn?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine concern.

You meet his gaze with a sassy smirk, your tone laced with sarcasm. "Oh, nothing. Just stumbled upon a cute little picture of you and your 'favorite person' on Instagram last night."

Riki's expression shifts from confusion to realization, his eyes widening in understanding. "Yn, it's not what you think—"

As you step back into the apartment, the weight of the moment hangs heavy in the air, a palpable tension swirling between you and Riki. But before you can retreat any further, Riki moves closer, his arms encircling you in a gentle back hug. His touch sends a shiver down your spine, the warmth of his embrace a stark contrast to the coldness of your heart.

"Yn, please," he pleads, his voice soft and pleading. "Let me explain."

You stiffen in his arms, your resolve wavering as his words wash over you. Part of you longs to hear his side of the story, to believe that there's a rational explanation for what you saw. But another part of you, wounded and betrayed, hesitates to let your guard down, afraid of the pain that lies on the other side of forgiveness.

With a sigh, you turn to face him, your eyes meeting his in a silent plea for honesty. "Fine," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "But make it quick."

Riki nods, his expression earnest as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what comes next. And as he begins to speak, his words wash over you like a soothing balm, each one a testament to the depth of his love and the sincerity of his regret.

-

Throughout the week, Riki's presence brings a sense of warmth and familiarity to your home, filling the air with laughter and shared memories.

-

One lazy morning, you wake up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, courtesy of Riki's thoughtful surprise. As you join him at the kitchen table, he presents you with a steaming cup, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Together, you share intimate conversations over the warmth of your drinks, lost in each other's company as the morning sun filters through the curtains.

-

On a clear night, Riki suggests a spontaneous adventure: stargazing in the park. Hand in hand, you make your way under the twinkling sky, laying out a blanket to lie on. As you gaze up at the vast expanse of stars above, Riki whispers secrets and promises, his words mingling with the soft rustle of leaves and the distant hum of the city. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the universe, you feel closer to him than ever before.

-

In a burst of spontaneity, Riki challenges you to a pillow fight, the room erupting in laughter as pillows fly and giggles fill the air. You duck and dodge his playful swipes, retaliating with your own, your hearts racing with the thrill of the moment. Amidst the chaos and laughter, you share a connection that transcends words, a bond forged in the simple joys of being together.

These moments, filled with laughter, love, and shared experiences, serve as a poignant reminder of the deep connection and affection that binds you and Riki together.

But amidst the joyous reunions and heartwarming moments, you can't help but notice the subtle shifts in Riki's behavior, the fleeting glances at his phone and the whispered conversations that leave you feeling uneasy.

In the midst of a family dinner, you catch Riki sneaking glances at his phone, his brows furrowing in concentration as he types out a quick response to a message. At first, you brush it off as nothing more than the usual distractions of modern life, but as the week wears on, the frequency of his interruptions becomes harder to ignore.

During a quiet moment alone together, you voice your concerns to Riki, your words tinged with a hint of worry. "Is everything okay, Riki? You seem… distracted."

Riki's smile falters for a moment before he offers you a reassuring squeeze of the hand. "It's nothing, Yn. Just some work stuff I need to take care of."

Despite his words, a nagging sense of doubt lingers in the back of your mind, a silent reminder of the uncertainties that have plagued your relationship in recent weeks. But you push aside your doubts, choosing instead to trust in Riki's love and sincerity.

As the week draws to a close, you find yourself unable to shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at your insides. And then, one fateful afternoon, as you innocently reach for Riki's phone to check the time, you stumble upon a series of messages that shatter your world into a million jagged pieces.

With trembling hands and tears in your eyes, you scroll through the messages, each one a damning testament to the betrayal that has unfolded right under your nose. And in that heart-wrenching moment of truth, the painful realization dawns upon you: Riki's distractions weren't innocent after all. He was hiding something from you, something that would irreparably change the course of your relationship forever.

As you hold Riki's phone in your trembling hands, the weight of the truth settling heavily upon your shoulders, you're startled by the sound of the bathroom door opening. With a shaky breath, you quickly set the phone down on the bedside table, your heart pounding in your chest as you scramble to compose yourself.

As Riki emerges from the bathroom, his expression bright and carefree, you force a sleepy smile, pretending as though you've just woken up. "Hey, sleepyhead," he greets you with a warm smile, oblivious to the storm raging within you.

You return his smile with a forced one of your own, your mind racing with a million thoughts and emotions. Despite the urge to confront him, to demand answers to the questions burning in your mind, you hold back, choosing instead to bury your pain beneath a facade of indifference.

As Riki settles onto the bed beside you, his warmth seeping into your bones, you fight the urge to reach out to him, to seek comfort in his embrace. But as you steal a glance at his unsuspecting face, the memory of his betrayal looms large in your mind, a silent reminder of the shattered trust between you.

In that moment, as you lie there beside him, a silent tension fills the air, a palpable barrier that separates you from the man you once loved. And as you struggle to make sense of the turmoil within you, one thing becomes painfully clear: now is not the time for comfort or reconciliation. For now, all you can do is bide your time, waiting for the right moment to confront him and demand the truth.

As the days pass by, you find yourself grappling with the painful truth that hangs heavy in the air between you and Riki. Despite his attempts to maintain a facade of normalcy, his behavior remains unchanged, his frequent disappearances to answer calls or texts a constant source of unease.

Each time he slips away, you can't help but feel a pang of betrayal as you watch him, his smile once meant for you now a cruel reminder of the deception that lurks beneath the surface. And as he returns to the table, his kiss on your cheek feels hollow, a bitter reminder of the love that was lost amidst the web of lies and deceit.

In that moment, as you sit beside him, a silent tension fills the space between you, a chasm of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. And as you steal a glance at his unsuspecting face, a surge of anger and resentment wells up inside you, threatening to consume you whole.

But instead of giving in to the urge to confront him, you bite back the words that burn on the tip of your tongue, choosing instead to keep silent, to bide your time until the moment is right. For now, all you can do is play the part of the oblivious lover, keeping your true feelings hidden beneath a mask of indifference, all the while knowing that the truth will eventually come to light.

I played dumb, but I always knew That you talked to her, maybe did even worse I kept quiet so I could keep you

As the night stretches on, you lie awake in bed, your thoughts swirling in a tumultuous storm of emotions. Beside you, Riki shifts restlessly, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow.

"Yn, what's wrong?" he murmurs, his voice thick with worry.

But you remain silent, your mind consumed by the weight of your own thoughts. You know you should speak up, confront Riki about the truth you've discovered, but the words catch in your throat, suffocated by the fear of what might come next.

Sensing your hesitation, Riki reaches out to gently caress your cheek, his touch a soothing balm against the turmoil within you. "Please, Yn," he pleads, his voice barely above a whisper. "Talk to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

But still, you remain silent, your heart heavy with the burden of your secrets. With a sigh, Riki pulls you close, wrapping you in his arms with a tenderness that threatens to undo your resolve.

"Fine," you finally whisper, your voice barely audible in the darkness. "Just… hold me tight until morning, okay?" And with that simple request, Riki pulls you even closer.

In the depths of the night, as sleep claims you in its gentle embrace, you find yourself drifting into a dream so vivid and beautiful that it feels almost like reality. In this dream, you and Riki are together, happy and content, living out a future filled with love and laughter.

You can see it all so clearly: the two of you walking hand in hand down a sunlit aisle, surrounded by friends and family as you exchange vows of everlasting devotion. You can feel the warmth of Riki's touch, the softness of his voice as he whispers words of love and affection into your ear.

Together, you embark on a journey of endless adventures and shared experiences, building a life filled with joy and happiness. You can see yourselves growing old together, still holding hands and stealing kisses even after decades have passed.

But then, in the quiet darkness of the night, reality comes crashing back with a cruel inevitability. As you stir from your dream-induced reverie, your eyes flutter open to the sight of Riki sleeping peacefully beside you, his features softened by the gentle glow of the moonlight.

In that moment, as you gaze upon his sleeping form, a pang of sadness grips your heart, the harsh truth of your situation looming large in the darkness. You know deep down that the future you envisioned in your dream will never come to pass, that the love you once shared with Riki has been tainted by betrayal and mistrust.

With a heavy sigh, you turn away from him, burying your face in the pillow as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. In the stillness of the night, you grapple with the painful realization that the dream you so desperately clung to will forever remain nothing more than a fleeting fantasy, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

In the soft light of dawn, you find yourselves once again at the airport, the familiar scent of departure lingering in the air as you stand on the precipice of another goodbye. But this time, there's a subtle shift in the atmosphere, a quiet sense of resignation mingled with a newfound sense of resolve.

As you watch Riki prepare to board his flight, a bittersweet smile graces your lips, a fleeting reflection of the conflicting emotions swirling within you. You know that saying goodbye to him will be painful, but deep down, you also know that it's the right thing to do.

As you stand at the airport, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between you and Riki, you can't help but feel a sense of urgency bubbling up inside you. With a glance towards him, you catch his gaze, a flicker of confusion crossing his features as he meets your eyes.

"I know, Riki," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper, but laced with a quiet determination.

Riki's brow furrows in confusion, his lips parting as if to speak, but no words come out. He searches your face for answers, but you simply offer him a small, enigmatic smile, leaving him to grapple with the puzzle of your words.

As Riki boards the plane and takes his seat, the pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place in his mind. With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he realizes the truth behind your cryptic message, the weight of his actions crashing down on him like a ton of bricks.

As the plane taxis down the runway, Riki's mind races with regret and remorse, his heart heavy with the knowledge of what he's lost. In that moment of clarity, he knows that he may have let go of the greatest love he'll ever know, all for the sake of fleeting moments of temptation and desire.

And as the plane takes off, carrying him away from you and towards an uncertain future, Riki is left to grapple with the consequences of his choices, knowing that the pain of your goodbye will haunt him long after the plane touches down in a distant land.

As you sits in your car, watching through tear-blurred eyes as the plane carrying Riki disappears into the vast expanse of the sky, a wave of emotions crashes over you like a tidal wave. Tears stream down her cheeks unchecked, mingling with the silent sobs that wrack her body.

Memories of their time together flash before your eyes, each one a bittersweet reminder of the love you once shared and the dreams you two had dared to dream together. But now, all that remains is an empty void, a gaping hole where once there was warmth and affection.

-

Your phone buzzes insistently, pulling your attention away from the conversation with Jay and Kai. You hesitate, your thumb hovering over the answer button, torn between the desire to hear Riki's voice and the fear of worsening fresh wounds.

Jay notices your hesitation and raises an eyebrow. "Who's calling?" he asks, curiosity piqued.

You shrug nonchalantly, a forced smile playing at your lips. "Just someone from school," you lie, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

Jay frowns, sensing your reluctance to answer. "You gonna pick up or what?" he prods, his tone tinged with impatience.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you weigh your options. You know that talking to Riki will only make things worse, but a part of you still longs to hear his voice, to find some semblance of closure in your fractured relationship.

In the end, you shake your head and decline the call, your hand trembling slightly as you set your phone back down on the table. "Sorry, just not in the mood to talk right now," you mumble, offering your friends a weak smile.

Jay nods understandingly, but you can see the concern etched in his expression. You know that your friends mean well, but there are some things you're not ready to share, some wounds too deep to be healed by mere words.

As the conversation shifts back to lighter topics, you can't help but feel a pang of regret at your decision to ignore Riki's call. But deep down, you know that it's for the best, that some bridges are better left unburned, even if it means sacrificing the chance for closure.

-

As Riki steps off the plane in South Korea, his heart heavy with the weight of his actions, he is greeted by a familiar face waiting for him by the gate. But instead of the usual excitement and anticipation he feels at seeing her, there's a knot of guilt and remorse churning in the pit of his stomach.

For the first time, he looks at her and sees not just the thrill of their secret trysts, but the pain and betrayal that his actions have caused another. He sees the hurt reflected in her eyes, a silent reminder of the consequences of his actions, and he can't help but feel a pang of regret deep within him.

As she approaches him with a smile, her arms outstretched in greeting, Riki can't bring himself to return the gesture. Instead, he hangs his head in shame, unable to meet her gaze as the weight of his guilt threatens to crush him.

In that moment, looking at her standing there before him, Riki realizes the magnitude of his mistakes. He knows that he can never undo the pain he's caused you, but he also knows that he can't continue down this path of deception and betrayal any longer.

With a heavy heart, Riki takes a step back, distancing himself from the girl he once thought he loved. And as he walks away, leaving behind the echoes of his past mistakes, he knows that the road to redemption will be long and arduous. But for you, and for the chance at a better future, he's willing to take that first step.

-

As the months flew by, the weight of Riki's absence lingered heavy on your heart, a constant reminder of the love you had lost and the wounds that still remained unhealed. Graduation loomed on the horizon, a bittersweet milestone marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Despite your best efforts to move on, Riki remained a lingering presence in your thoughts, his memory haunting you at every turn. It was a struggle to push him out of your mind, to silence the ache in your heart that longed for his touch and his presence.

But as graduation day drew nearer, you knew that it was time to confront the truth, to lay bare the painful reality of your relationship with Riki. With a heavy heart, you confided in your friends, finally revealing the truth that you had kept hidden for so long.

Their reactions ranged from shock to anger to profound sadness, but through it all, they stood by your side, offering their unwavering support and understanding. With their help, you found the strength to stop seeking updates on Riki, to let go of the need to know what he was doing or where he was going.

-

As you browse through racks of dresses with Bahiyyih by your side, laughter and chatter filling the air, your heart skips a beat when you suddenly catch sight of a familiar figure standing just a few feet away. Your breath catches in your throat as you lock eyes with Riki, his expression a mix of shock and desperation.

Time seems to stand still as the reality of the moment sinks in, the air heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. For a brief moment, you're transported back to a time when his presence brought nothing but joy and happiness, but now, all you feel is a dull ache in the pit of your stomach.

Bahiyyih's eyes widen in disbelief as she takes in the scene before her, her hand reaching out to grasp yours in a silent gesture of support. She can see the pain etched on your face, the raw vulnerability that lies beneath the surface, and she knows that this unexpected encounter has dredged up a flood of emotions that you had long tried to bury.

Riki opens his mouth as if to speak, but no words come out. Instead, he simply stands there, his eyes pleading for forgiveness, his heart laid bare for all to see. But you know that forgiveness won't come easily, not after everything that has happened between you.

With a heavy heart, you turn away from him, the weight of his gaze burning into your back as you walk away. As Riki takes a step forward, his instinct urging him to chase after you, Bahiyyih steps in his path, her expression a mix of determination and concern. She places a gentle hand on his arm, her touch a silent plea for him to stop and reconsider.

"Riki, wait," she says softly, her voice tinged with urgency. "I know you want to talk to her, but now is not the time. She needs space, time to process everything. This..you, being back all of the sudden"

Riki's brow furrows in frustration, his heart torn between the desire to make things right and the fear of making things worse. He knows that Bahiyyih is right, that barging after you now would only add fuel to the fire, but it's hard to ignore the ache in his chest, the desperate longing to reach out and hold you in his arms.

Reluctantly, he nods, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he watches you disappear from view. He knows that this won't be the last time he sees you, that there will be other opportunities to make amends, but for now, he'll have to trust that time and distance will heal the wounds that lie between you.

As you sit in your room with Bahiyyih by your side, a heavy silence hangs in the air, broken only by the soft sounds of your breathing. You're not crying, but your mind is elsewhere, lost in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions and shattered illusions.

Thoughts race through your mind like a raging river, each one a painful reminder of the walls you had built up around your heart in an attempt to move on from Riki. You had worked so hard to rebuild your life, to find happiness and fulfillment in the absence of his love, but seeing him earlier today shattered those fragile walls like glass.

In that moment, all the progress you had made feels like nothing more than a cruel illusion, a fleeting mirage in the desert of your heartache. You realize now that no matter how hard you try to forget him, to bury the memories deep within the recesses of your mind, he will always have a hold on your heart, a piece of you that can never be replaced.

And as you stare off into the distance, lost in the labyrinth of your thoughts, you can't help but wonder if it will ever be possible to truly move on from him. Will the ache in your heart ever fade, or will it linger like a shadow, a constant reminder of the love you once shared and the dreams that were shattered in its wake?

-

Riki finds himself sitting in Heeseung and Jay's dorm room, his heart heavy with guilt and regret. He knows that he's made a mess of things with Yn, and now he's desperate for advice on how to fix it.

Heeseung, ever the empathetic one, offers words of comfort and reassurance. "Look, man, we all make mistakes," he says, his voice gentle and soothing. "The important thing is that you recognize what you've done wrong and try to make it right. Yn is a smart girl, she'll understand if you're honest with her."

But Jay, ever the realist, isn't so quick to let Riki off the hook. "Come on, Riki," he says, his tone sharp and biting. "How could you let her suffer for months while you did nothing? You can't just waltz back into her life and expect her to forgive you. You've got to show her that you're willing to do whatever it takes to make things right."

Riki winces at Jay's words, knowing that he's right. He's let Yn down in the worst possible way, and now he has to face the consequences of his actions. He knows that it won't be easy, that he'll have to work hard to earn back her trust and forgiveness, but he's determined to try.

With a heavy sigh, Riki nods, his jaw set with determination. "You're right," he says, his voice firm. "I messed up, big time. But I'm not going to let Yn down again. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it means facing some hard truths along the way."

Jay's sharp gaze fixes on Riki, his expression one of curiosity mixed with skepticism. "What about the other girl?" he asks, his tone cutting through the tension in the room.

Riki's heart sinks as he braces himself to explain the tangled web of deceit and betrayal that he's woven. Taking a deep breath, he begins to recount the events that led him to this point, his words stumbling over the painful truth of his actions.

"I thought I could have it all," he admits, his voice heavy with remorse. "I thought I could keep Yn in the dark while I pursued something with this other girl. But it was all a lie, a foolish fantasy that only ended up hurting everyone involved."

As he speaks, Riki can feel the weight of his mistakes pressing down on him, threatening to crush him beneath their burden. But he knows that he has to face the truth, no matter how painful it may be.

Heeseung listens with a sympathetic ear, his expression one of understanding and compassion. "It sounds like you were in over your head," he says, his voice gentle. "But that doesn't excuse what you did. You need to take responsibility for your actions and make things right with Yn."

Jay's expression remains stern, his eyes boring into Riki with an intensity that makes him squirm uncomfortably in his seat. "You've got a lot of work to do, Riki," he says, his tone sharp. "You can't just expect Yn to forgive you overnight. You need to earn back her trust, and that starts with being honest with her about everything."

Riki nods solemnly, knowing that he has a long road ahead of him. But with Heeseung and Jay's support, he feels a glimmer of hope flicker within him. He knows that he may never be able to fully make amends for his mistakes, but he's determined to try, if only to prove to himself and to you that he's capable of change.

As you step out of the apartment building, your heart skips a beat when you see Riki waiting for you, a hopeful look in his eyes. Your resolve wavers for a moment, the sight of him stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you.

"I'll walk you to school," he says, his voice gentle and pleading. "I remember how you don't like walking alone."

But you shake your head, steeling yourself against the pull of his words. "I got used to walking alone when you left," you say, your voice firm. "I don't need you to walk me to school anymore."

With that, you turn on your heel and begin to walk away, determined to put as much distance between you and Riki as possible. But to your dismay, he falls into step beside you, his presence a constant reminder of the tangled mess of emotions that still linger between you.

"No matter how far you walk, I'll always follow," he says quietly, his words a whisper on the wind. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, Yn. Please, just give me a chance to prove myself to you."

You can feel the weight of his gaze burning into your back as you continue to walk, the ache in your heart growing with each step you take. You know that giving in to him would only reopen old wounds, but at the same time, you can't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there's still a chance for redemption and forgiveness.

As you walk to school, the weight of your emotions threatens to overwhelm you, and you find yourself unable to keep the floodgates closed any longer. With each step, the memories of the promises Riki made before he left come flooding back, taunting you with the bitter taste of broken dreams and shattered trust.

"Remember when you promised that we'd make it work, no matter what?" you begin, your voice tinged with bitterness and hurt. "You said that distance wouldn't be a problem, that we'd find a way to make it through together."

Riki's expression softens, a pained look crossing his features as he listens to your words. "I meant every word of it, Yn," he says, his voice filled with sincerity. "But I know that I messed up, that I let you down in the worst possible way. I'm not asking you to forgive me overnight, but I promise that I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."

But you shake your head, the walls around your heart still firmly in place. "Words are cheap, Riki," you say, your voice tinged with sadness. "You can't just expect me to believe you after everything that's happened. You had your chance to make things right, and you blew it."

Riki's shoulders slump in defeat, his gaze dropping to the ground as he struggles to find the right words to say. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness," he says quietly. "But I'm not ready to give up on us yet. Please, just give me one more chance to show you that I've changed."

You pause for a moment, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air between you. As you finally reach the school gates, the tension between you and Riki hangs heavy in the air, a palpable reminder of the chasm that lies between you. With a heavy sigh, you turn to him, steeling yourself for the answer to the question that has been haunting you since the moment you saw that picture on social media.

"What did she have that I don't?" you ask, your voice trembling with emotion. "Was she worth throwing away everything we had?"

Before Riki can respond, you shake your head, cutting him off before he can offer an explanation. "It doesn't matter," you say, your voice tinged with resignation. "I hope she was everything you ever wanted, everything you couldn't find in me."

With that, you turn on your heel and walk away, leaving Riki standing alone at the school gates, the weight of your words echoing in the empty space between you.

As you take your seat next to Jay in class, the sour look on your face doesn't go unnoticed by him. Concern etches his features as he turns to you, his eyes narrowing with worry.

"What's wrong, Yn?" he asks, his voice low and filled with concern.

You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you want to share your troubles with him. But the words spill out before you can stop them, and you find yourself recounting the encounter with Riki on your way to school.

"He walked me to school," you say, your voice tinged with bitterness. "Like everything's fine and we're still together."

Heeseung and Kai overhear your conversation and begin to tease you mercilessly, their laughter filling the air as they poke fun at your discomfort. But Bahiyyih quickly intervenes, shooting them a stern look that silences them instantly.

Jay leans in closer to you, his expression softening with understanding. "Maybe he's being genuine, Yn," he says, his voice gentle and reassuring. "You know how much he cares about you. And besides, he came over to our dorm last night to talk. He seemed really sincere."

You chew on your bottom lip, the weight of Jay's words sinking in as you contemplate the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there's still hope for you and Riki. But despite the flicker of optimism that blooms within you, you can't shake the lingering doubt and uncertainty that clouds your heart. Only time will tell if Riki is truly genuine in his intentions, and whether or not you're willing to take the risk of trusting him again.

-

As you return to your apartment, the events of the day swirling in your mind, you're surprised to find the familiar scent of your favorite flowers wafting through the air. Your heart skips a beat as you step inside, your eyes widening in disbelief at the sight before you.

The entire apartment is adorned with bouquets of your favorite flowers, their vibrant colors filling the room with a sense of warmth and comfort. And lying on the couch, nestled among the blooms, is a beautifully wrapped gift with a note attached.

Your hands tremble slightly as you pick up the note, your heart pounding in your chest as you read Riki's words. In the letter, he pours his heart out to you, apologizing for his past mistakes and expressing his sincere desire to make things right. He promises to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust and forgiveness, begging for another chance to prove himself to you.

My Dearest Yn,

As I sit down to write this letter, my heart is heavy with regret and longing. I know that I've hurt you in ways that words can't even begin to express, and for that, I am truly sorry. I never meant to cause you pain, and yet, my actions have led us down a path filled with heartache and uncertainty.

I want you to know that I've spent countless nights lying awake, haunted by the memories of our time together and the mistakes I've made. I've replayed our conversations in my mind a thousand times over, wishing I could turn back the clock and make things right. But no matter how hard I try, I know that I can never undo the hurt that I've caused you.

And yet, despite everything, my love for you remains unchanged. You are the light that guides me through the darkness, the warmth that fills my soul with hope. I can't imagine a life without you in it, and the thought of losing you terrifies me more than anything else in this world.

I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, that I've broken your trust in the worst possible way. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, to earn back the love and respect that I've lost. I promise to be honest with you, to communicate openly and honestly, and to never take your love for granted again.

Please, Yn, give me another chance to show you how much you mean to me. I know that words alone can't heal the wounds that I've inflicted upon your heart, but I hope that with time and patience, we can find a way to move forward together, stronger and more resilient than ever before.

With all my love,

Riki

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you read his words, the weight of his sincerity washing over you like a tidal wave. Despite the pain and uncertainty that still lingers in your heart, a small part of you can't help but be touched by his gesture, by the lengths he's gone to show you how much you mean to him.

But as you look around the empty apartment, the absence of Riki's presence casting a shadow over the room, you can't shake the feeling of unease that settles in the pit of your stomach. Will he keep his promises this time, or is this just another empty gesture meant to placate you?

With a heavy sigh, you set the letter aside and reach for the gift, the weight of it heavy in your hands. Whatever happens next, you know that the road ahead will be long and difficult.

As you carefully unwrap the gift from Riki, your heart flutters with anticipation, unsure of what lies within. With trembling hands, you peel back the layers of paper, revealing a beautifully crafted wooden box nestled inside.

Your breath catches in your throat as you lift the lid, revealing the contents within. Inside the box lies a treasure trove of memories, each one carefully preserved and presented with love and care.

There are photographs, snapshots of moments frozen in time, capturing the laughter and joy that once filled your days together. Each image is accompanied by a handwritten note from Riki, sharing his thoughts and feelings from those cherished moments.

But it's not just photographs that fill the box. There are letters too, pages upon pages of heartfelt words and declarations of love, each one a testament to the depth of Riki's feelings for you. As you read through them, tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, your heart swelling with emotion at the thoughtfulness and effort that went into creating such a meaningful gift.

And then, at the bottom of the box, nestled among the memories, lies a single red rose, its petals still fresh and vibrant despite the passage of time. It's a simple gesture, but one filled with meaning and symbolism, a reminder of the love that still blooms between you despite the trials and tribulations that you've faced.

As you sit with the gift from Riki in your hands, a nagging doubt creeps into the back of your mind, casting a shadow over the warmth and comfort that you felt moments before. Was this all just a ploy to win you back, a carefully orchestrated act of love bombing designed to manipulate your emotions and keep you under his spell?

The thought sends a chill down your spine, filling you with a sense of unease that you can't shake. You know that Riki is capable of great kindness and generosity, but after everything that has happened between you, it's hard to trust his intentions completely.

With a heavy sigh, you set the gift aside, the weight of uncertainty settling over you like a dark cloud. Only time will tell if Riki's gestures are sincere or if they're just another ploy to keep you under his control.

-

On a sunny Saturday morning, Riki wakes up early to prepare for the surprise picnic he's planned for you. He carefully selects all your favorite foods and snacks, making sure to pack them neatly into a wicker basket. With a satisfied smile, he adds a bottle of sparkling cider and a bouquet of your favorite flowers to the mix before heading out to the park. - After weeks of soul-searching and reflection, Riki sits down at his desk with pen and paper in hand. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the task ahead, and begins to write. With each word, Riki pours his heart out onto the page, expressing his deepest regrets and sincerest apologies for the pain he's caused you. He bares his soul, laying bare his thoughts and feelings in the hopes of winning back your trust. Hours pass as Riki fills page after page with his handwritten words, his emotions flowing freely onto the paper. When he finally finishes, he reads over the letter one last time, making sure every word is just right. The next day, Riki delivers the letter to you personally, his heart pounding in his chest as he watches you read it. - One evening, as you're scrolling through your social media feed, you come across a post about a movie you've been dying to see. You mention it in passing to Riki, not expecting anything to come of it. But to your surprise, Riki jumps into action, surprising you with tickets to the movie for that very evening. He clears his schedule for the night, ensuring that you have his undivided attention as you enjoy a night out together. As you settle into your seats at the theater, Riki reaches for your hand, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. Throughout the movie, he steals glances at you, his eyes shining with affection. - One evening, as you arrive home from a long day at work, you're greeted by the mouthwatering aroma of your favorite meal wafting through the air. Curious, you follow the scent to the kitchen, where you find Riki hard at work, surrounded by pots and pans. He looks up with a smile as you enter, gesturing to the spread of food laid out before him. "I wanted to surprise you with dinner tonight," he says, his eyes shining with excitement. "I hope you like it."

-

As the morning sun filters through the curtains, you awaken to the sound of your phone buzzing with notifications. Groaning, you reach for it, expecting the usual barrage of messages and emails.

But as you scroll through the notifications, your eyes widen in disbelief at the news that greets you. The message is simple yet profound, a single sentence that rocks you to your core:

"Riki quit his dancing job and came back to Japan for you."

Your heart skips a beat as you read the words again, unable to believe what you're seeing. Could it be true? Could Riki have made such a monumental decision, sacrificing everything he worked so hard for just to be with you?

With trembling hands, you dial Riki's number, your heart pounding in your chest as you wait for him to pick up. When he finally does, his voice is filled with warmth and affection, a stark contrast to the uncertainty that fills your own heart.

"Yn," he says, his voice soft and filled with emotion. "I know that I've made mistakes, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I love you, and I'll do anything to prove it to you."

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you listen to his words, the weight of his sincerity washing over you like a wave. In that moment, you know that you have a choice to make, a choice that will determine the course of your future.

[cathnospam]

CW/// Bakugo is a nasty fucking pussy eater

Bakugo gets cute aggression, but he just doesn’t believe it.

He does though. Towards you.

Specifically when you’re cumming, you’re just so fucking cute. I mean look at you.

Your hips pushing against his mouth, the vibrations of his groans nearly sets your high to a new level as your ride your 2nd orgasm by his tongue.

you’re whining for him to stop licking, but when he does your big pretty eyes start to water, your lip quivers and you just barely above your breath whisper “Please.”

His red piercing eyes look up at you, sucking his lower lip, his breath his ragged on your clit before he latches back to suck on,

“Ssssuki!” You gasp, the tears began to flow, you just couldn’t help yourself each orgasm being better than the last.

When you begin to cum again Katsuki wants to feel you squirt on him, he pulls away and uses his left fingers to spread open your lips and his right 3 fingers to rub vigorously against your soft sensitive little clit.

“Ah fuck—“ He moans out seeing your left thigh twitch everytime his finger tips brush against that sweet spot, “C’mon…say my name.”

Shit he sounds so hot like that his voice is rasped and exhausted, you look down through your watery eyes to see sweat falling down his neck, eyes looking right back at you with desperation and hunger, “Say my name, c’mon..”

“Kats….uki…” You shut your eyes, all too overwhelmed you just focused your attention to what his fingers were doing to you.

“Say it again, you can do it.”

“Katsukiiiiiiii~” You let out a high pitched moan as he kissed your pussy. “Kats—“

He sees your hips slowly shaking again, you’re so so so close, and Bakugo smirks while sucking his bottom lip, “Feels good?”

“Mmhm..” Your brows furrowed, the lower half of your body feeling as if there were butterflies inside,

“Who’s making you feel this good?”

“You…aareeee, baby you!” Your orgasm hitting you like a truck you started crying out so loudly feeling his fingers scissor inside you, “You, baby! You Katsuki! All you! Baby—“

Bakugo quickly sucks on your pussy as you squirt uncontrollably, the fluids passing through non stop as your ride out your orgasm just made you claw on his scalp as he “licked you clean” groaning your name.

“Katsuki!” You whine, his tongue tracing his own name inside you after cumming, you’re so damn sensitive you try to wiggle away from his grasp but he was so much stronger than you he held your hips down. “Sukiiiii.”

“U…G…O…” He muttered to himself with his tongue out. You don’t know WHY he does that after he finishes eating you out, but you don’t complain. It’s kinda attractive.

He hovers over your limp, tired body, examines and admires the small marks he left on your tits before kissing your nipples, almost like his way of saying sorry, then he looks at you.

Fuck, you’re cute.

Right before he holds you he can’t help but soak in your face, it just triggers an emotion of wanting to hold you and take care of you.

Bakugo grabs your chubby wet cheeks and kisses you, so hard it almost knocks your breath away and pulls back, looks at you again a mf kisses you some more before saying,

“I’m a record your face when you cum. You should see how you look.”

Translation,

“You’re so fucking adorable it drives me insane.”