#and barty/peter….

[quillkiller]

someone: hey have this very popular ship with thousands of fics and fanart:) its free:)

me: absolutely not i want [insert obscure and rare pair] with less than 100 fics on ao3 and absolutely no one to talk to about it because no one else cares. thanks anyway

[beataylorsversion]

why can't gay people flirt normally

like "ur cute," "no ur cute," isn't that hard

it doesn't have to be:

"finally the flesh reflects the madness within,"

"well, you'd know all about the madness within wouldn't you remus?"

[outromoony]

My Spotify Wrapped

[always-reading]

*from pinterest*

talk ur shit

[the-original-gays]

James was the mum friend in a "wraps you in a soft blanket and makes you tea when you're not feeling well" way.

Sirius needed someone to love him.

Remus needed someone to accept him.

Peter needed someone to value him.

And James made sure each of them went to bed smiling.

Regulus was the mum friend in a "chasing you around the house screaming at you to not put forks in the plug sockets" way.

Evan had no regard for safety, his own or others.

Barty has no impulse control.

Pandora did dangerous experiments on a daily basis.

Dorcas would do just about anything if you paid her enough.

And Regulus was just trying to keep those fucking idiots alive.

[rosieevan]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[whysosiriushuh]

Peter: *Can't complete his assignment*: guess I'll just kill myself

Regulus: There's bleach in the bathroom

Remus: And a rope in my trunk in case it doesn't work

James and the rest of the gryffindors....

Evan: Stop being a coward jump off the astronomy tower

Barty: Do a flip!!

Sirius: WhY aRe YOU in THe GryFfinDor CoMmon ROoM!?!?

[rudamaruda520]

Barty: I am Barty and I put the "hot" in psychotic.

Pandora: I am Pandora and I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Peter: I am Peter and I put the "rat" in dehydrated.

Remus: I am Remus and I put the "sex" in dyslexic.

Evan: I am Evan and I don't get it. What am I supposed to say?

Dorcas: Your name and "I put something in something".

Evan: Oh, okay okay.

Evan: I am Evan and I put the dick in Barty.

[fiasco95]

Regulus, Barty and Evan walking by, the couple sneering and glaring at the other two Marauders while Regulus doesn’t spare them a single glance.

James: Well if it isn’t Regulus Black and his ladies-in-waiting!

James: Regulus wants me so bad.

Peter: You’ve never even talked to him before!

James: Oh, I’ve talked to him, okay?

Peter:

James: …in my mind.

James: And let me tell you, in my mind….he wants me so bad.

[nettedtangible]

Remus: Pads, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Sirius: My hands were dry so I got the gloves and put lotion in them! Remus: You look like a serial killer Sirius: A moisturised serial killer! Barty: Ev, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Evan: I was dissecting a bird Barty *sweating*: Do me next James: Reg, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Regulus: So they won't find my fingerprints on your corpse. James *nodding enthusiastically*: Okay! Peter: Prongs, why are you wearing surgical gloves? James: Madam Pince says I'm not allowed in the library without them anymore :( Peter: Why? what did you do?? Remus *walking in*: Why is the restricted section covered in chocolate?

[icedcoffeebabyy]

Judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

James: I do.

Judge: what are your relations with regulus black.

James: omg dare.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: *Points to Sirius* I hate you.

Regulus: *Points to Peter* I hate you.

Regulus: *Points to his James* I definitely hate you.

Regulus: *Points to Remus* You're cool.

Evan: Reg stop it

Barty: Yeah, don’t worry he only meant two of those

[noirsnonsense]

"ill never be enough" : regulus, remus, lily, mary, evan, peter

"im always too much" : james, sirius, pandora, marlene, barty, sybil

now tell me I'm wrong I beg.

[outromoony]

If your comfort character isn't dead, traumatized, gay, or a mass murderer... are they really your comfort character?

[bartychaser]

Reg: ehm, James?

James: what is it, love?

Reg: what if I told you that Barty knows about us and told Evan who told Pandora who couldn't keep quiet and told Dorcas who has no secrets with Marlene so she told her and Mar is best friends with Mary and Lily so they know too and lily- well she is best buddies with Remus and Remus has no secrets with my brother, so-

James: you want to say they are happy for us? That’s- That’s good, innit?

Reg:

James: what?

Reg: you got that part with Remus and my brother and no secr-

*door flies open*

Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER

James: oh�� OH shit

[pxrty-crxsher]

Thinking about how Barty would just scream and fall to his knees at Evan’s grave after he gets out of Azkaban. He would just sit there and cry, kicking as people tried to pry him away from the headstone and little patch of dead grass. Because Evan promised he’d be there when he got out of Azkaban and he’s not. He’s dead.