#and barty/peter….

[quillkiller]

someone: hey have this very popular ship with thousands of fics and fanart:) its free:)

me: absolutely not i want [insert obscure and rare pair] with less than 100 fics on ao3 and absolutely no one to talk to about it because no one else cares. thanks anyway

[outromoony]

Fuck drugs. Have you ever been addicted to reading angsty fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends? That shit will kill you.

[beataylorsversion]

why can't gay people flirt normally

like "ur cute," "no ur cute," isn't that hard

it doesn't have to be:

"finally the flesh reflects the madness within,"

"well, you'd know all about the madness within wouldn't you remus?"

[always-reading]

*from pinterest*

talk ur shit

[the-original-gays]

James was the mum friend in a "wraps you in a soft blanket and makes you tea when you're not feeling well" way.

Sirius needed someone to love him.

Remus needed someone to accept him.

Peter needed someone to value him.

And James made sure each of them went to bed smiling.

Regulus was the mum friend in a "chasing you around the house screaming at you to not put forks in the plug sockets" way.

Evan had no regard for safety, his own or others.

Barty has no impulse control.

Pandora did dangerous experiments on a daily basis.

Dorcas would do just about anything if you paid her enough.

And Regulus was just trying to keep those fucking idiots alive.

[lucerysgirl]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[seekmemystar]

everyone keeps having these moments at the top of the astronomy tower how are none of them bumping into each other

[whysosiriushuh]

Peter: *Can't complete his assignment*: guess I'll just kill myself

Regulus: There's bleach in the bathroom

Remus: And a rope in my trunk in case it doesn't work

James and the rest of the gryffindors....

Evan: Stop being a coward jump off the astronomy tower

Barty: Do a flip!!

Sirius: WhY aRe YOU in THe GryFfinDor CoMmon ROoM!?!?

[dorasoracle]

Regulus and Remus HAD a crush on each other on the SAME period .

Third year for Regulus and Fourth year for Remus.

Regulus gay awerning was Remus , and Remus first real crush was Regulus.

They were paired for commenting quidditch matches when Regulus had a broken wrist when he returned Hogwarts that year.

They commented together, and they were hilarious, they had the sarcasm and the passion.

Peter and Pandora were the true victims of this, Dora listened to Regulus rambling about Remus' welsh accent and Peter listened to Remus about Regulus' eyes.

They shared cigarettes ( Remus cigarettes which for casualties were always few of them so they had to share them instead of each having one ) , they walked down together a little later than other students because none of them wanted to leave actually, Regulus was gifted one of Remus sweathers by Remus himself one day in winter.

When Regulus wrist was okay, Remus thought that they would stop talking, instead Regulus always asked him if he was the one commenting on the match and once he said that Remus gave him luck ( Remus cried thank you , Peter wanted to suicide ) .

Passing fourth/third year their situation becomes purely friendly, they still have that strange connection but only as friends.

In Fifth Remus started dating Sirius and Regulus started to like James ( Pandora first thought was to suicide ) .

Years later one evening someone asked Regulus who has been his gay awakening and he answered that it was Remus in his third year.

Peter almost suffocated , and Remus said that in the same period he had a crush on Regulus. ( Regulus laughed the HARDEST in his entire life , Remus with him , Pandora and Peter they sighed damn loud )

When the others asked why they didn't confess, they both answered that they thought the other was being friendly.

Barty cried because ( his literal words ) : ' We could have the hottest couple of Hogwarts , Merlin and Morgana both ' .

Regulus and Remus both laughed ( Sirius and James were having an aneurysm ) .

[rudamaruda520]

Barty: I am Barty and I put the "hot" in psychotic.

Pandora: I am Pandora and I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Peter: I am Peter and I put the "rat" in dehydrated.

Remus: I am Remus and I put the "sex" in dyslexic.

Evan: I am Evan and I don't get it. What am I supposed to say?

Dorcas: Your name and "I put something in something".

Evan: Oh, okay okay.

Evan: I am Evan and I put the dick in Barty.

[chrhnchynoodles]

New favorite headcanon that when Sirius became an animagus he slowly became red green colorblind bc dogs are red green colorblind so when James sat down for dinner wearing a loose green tie with deshevelled hair in the great hall and Peter spit out his drink, Remus’ jaw dropped, and all the girls were laughing hysterically making bets (Mary thought it was Barty Lily and Marlene guessed it was Regulus off the bat) Sirius was none the wiser and just thought he’d gotten back from quidditch practice or had shagged a random gryffindor. So when Marlene tried to point it out but Remus stomped on her foot to get her to shut the fuck up.

[fiasco95]

Regulus, Barty and Evan walking by, the couple sneering and glaring at the other two Marauders while Regulus doesn’t spare them a single glance.

James: Well if it isn’t Regulus Black and his ladies-in-waiting!

James: Regulus wants me so bad.

Peter: You’ve never even talked to him before!

James: Oh, I’ve talked to him, okay?

Peter:

James: …in my mind.

James: And let me tell you, in my mind….he wants me so bad.

[outromoony]

My Spotify Wrapped

[nettedtangible]

Remus: Pads, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Sirius: My hands were dry so I got the gloves and put lotion in them! Remus: You look like a serial killer Sirius: A moisturised serial killer! Barty: Ev, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Evan: I was dissecting a bird Barty *sweating*: Do me next James: Reg, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Regulus: So they won't find my fingerprints on your corpse. James *nodding enthusiastically*: Okay! Peter: Prongs, why are you wearing surgical gloves? James: Madam Pince says I'm not allowed in the library without them anymore :( Peter: Why? what did you do?? Remus *walking in*: Why is the restricted section covered in chocolate?

[icedcoffeebabyy]

Judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

James: I do.

Judge: what are your relations with regulus black.

James: omg dare.

[redadidassneakers]

Dorcas: who was your first kiss?

Sirius: Remus

James: Remus

Lily: Remus

Mary: Remus

Barty: Remus

Peter: Remus

Regulus: Remus

Dorcas: Remus, you little slut

Sirius: you kissed my brother?!

Remus: uhhh