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James "I love you, but why did you get me dead flowers?" Fleamont Potter and Regulus "They needed sunlight, so I figured you'd work" Arcturus Black

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regulus black is one of those motherfuckers who saves contacts with full names with like. capital letters. like. Sirius Black and Bartemius Crouch Jnr. the only person who gets a special contact name is pandora and it's literally just. Panda. you'd think he has absolutely no personality when you look at his contact list ...

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the marauders could spend weeks and weeks plotting their pranks—studying the right spells, creating new ones, hunting down rare potion ingredients, burying themselves in the library for research—all while refusing to do a simple essay homework they can finish in an hour LOL i swear they all become proper swots when researching for a prank

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Me: do you think Remus started eating baking chocolate as a little kid bc someone told him chocolate was poisonous to dogs….

Friend: actually shut the everloving fuck up

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aal izz well

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I am nothing but a performer in front of the audience that is my mind

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Old habits die hard

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I WANT TO SEE SNOW

OMG ITS SNOWING WHAT THE FUCK

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romance can be horrific and the horrific can be romantic btw. hope this helps.

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—Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Lily: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

James: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Lily: …Nevermind

5 HOURS LATER

James: WAIT-

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Hm

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Regulus Black was born serving cunt and died serving cunt and don’t any of you fuckers forget it

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Fictional woman: *does anything remotely competent*

Her: haha yeah it's because I have 47 fathers. I learned that skill from my league of brothers. It was a necessity to know when my two football teams worth of brothers and I were left stranded in the pine forests for weeks as a training exercise

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black family dinners were high fashion editorial absurdity bordering on surrealism. they were famous for always starting obscenely late because every single one of them is taking hours to perfect their appearance. the house of black rests on narcissistic individuality - they all think they’re the hottest, smartest, most fashionable person in the room, including (especially) sirius and andromeda. walburga and druella are constantly trying to outdo one another with how extravagant the dinner itself can be, which means they’re eating shit you’ve never heard of before served by house elves on stilts

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hc that barty has really bad eyesight but he refuses to wear glasses because "it ruins his look"