#and also just how talented the tumblr community is regardless of fandom

[ruanbaijie]

🩵 art

[x] great blue heron by @zayt0uny

[x] seen it a million times by @90108s // fandom: link click

[x] dandadan, dandadan, dandadan, dandadan, dandadan by @toughtinkart // fandom: dandadan

[x] the counts treat by @mynqzo

[x] carociel by @questtneo // fandom: black butler

[x] don't go nanamin don't go by @itsiitsu // fandom: jujutsu kaisen

[x] wip for link click zine by @nanashi-art // fandom: link click

[x] "i'll become the monster" by @sydney-empire // fandom: epic the musical

[x] -sparkles- by @iingezo

[x] whom have you saved this time, daozhang xiao? by @19silvermirrors // fandom: mo dao zu shi

[x] 70s loumandaniel sandwich by @holographings // fandom: interview with the vampire

[x] myrrh-streaming by @immortaloblivion1 // fandom: 2ha

[x] fang duobing paper craft commission by @yutaan // fandom: mysterious lotus casebook

[x] the religious procession in old valyria by @debustee // fandom: a song of ice and fire

[x] hua cheng by @no1rubbish // fandom: tian guan ci fu

[x] liu xiao, vein, and xia fei by @crimson-chains // fandom: link click

🩵 edits

[x] iwtv season 2 by @fearwakes // fandom: interview with the vampire

[x] zhuo yichen & zhao yuanzhou by @yichens // fandom: fangs of fortune

🩵 gifsets

[x] ★ the winter soldier ★ by @luna-lina // fandom: mcu

[x] what a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way, what a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you by @khaotungthanawat // fandom: the heart killers

[x] first khanaphan as kant pattanawat & khaotung thanawat as bison in the heart killers by @khaotungthanawat // fandom: the heart killers

[x] animanga of the year 2024 by @mx-sinisters // fandom: dandadan

[x] posting my drafts (pt.?) by @nobie // fandom: star wars

[x] park hae-soo as cho sang-woo in squid game by @unwings // fandom: squid game

[x] no blood at all by @psychicpinenut // fandom: dexter

[x] shameless + episode posters (season 1) by @imikhailo // fandom: shameless

[x] game galore by @tvuniverse // fandom: 911

[x] black sails + valentine's day cards by @ladyhawke // fandom: black sails

[x] blossom by @baijingting // fandom: blossom

[x] tropes by @saharzahids // fandom: interview with the vampire

[x] take the ql style quiz for personalised ql recommendations! by @chinzhilla

[x] hinder me? thou fool. no living man may hinder me! by @mithrandirl // fandom: the lord of the rings

[hybbart]

Hi! I absolutely adore your work, I was wondering if you have any advice on getting your ideas and au's out there? Sometimes it feels like no matter how much you post/try to connect with others it's impossible for any posts to break out of the little tumblr interaction bubble

Well, I'm not really the person to ask this, cause any popularity I have at any point is almost entirely dependant on my current hyperfixation, and I'm not one to care much about it.

Mostly I have a good enough appealing and safe art style and good enough sense of humour that's easy for people to like even if they don't especially care about the content, and draw often enough that I don't get forgotten.

My current stuff is fanworks, which have a built in audience, so you're always going to be seen as long as you tag it properly. Especially if you're actively participating in the fandom. I also have the benefit of being obsessed with a rather popular duo like ranchers.

Basically, the notes I get are very predictable and temporary, and not really based on any intentional work. I'm good enough for casual followers to pay attention to as long as it's stuff they recognize. I'd say like 80% of my notes are from casual engagement who aren't really going to do much besides a like and maybe reblog just because they were told they have to reblog artists or they're using the site wrong.

I guess what I mean to say is, having those notes is nice and appreciated but at the end of the day I also have a pretty small little bubble. There's just a wall of passers-by around it making it seem bigger than it actually is. It very quickly dissipates when I draw anything out of the ordinary that I can't put a bunch of popular tags on. So, I'm not really the person to ask about that sort of thing.

That said, I guess all that might sound a bit cynical to most people even though it isn't meant to be, so I guess some actual tips might be in order.

Skill. Art's about communication and expression, which like anything is better done with a larger toolkit and knowledge. And also especially casual engagement just enjoys things of higher quality. Raw ideas aren't usually enough to get people to understand or care unless they care about you. To be blunt, sometimes people just aren't good enough or are too niche for a general audience. That's nothing to be self-conscious or miserable about, it's just something you have to be self-aware about enough to accept that you're not gonna attract people who aren't invested in you. If that's something you want to change by becoming better then you have to intentionally do so, talent is a lie.

Passion. It's obvious when your heart isn't in it regardless of skill level because art is about communication. And passion's what drives us to do better, it's hard to develop and spend time on work you don't really want to do. If you're enthusiastic other people will be more likely to join you in your enthusiasm. If you don't care or are burnt out people will notice. If you're doing things just to get attention people will notice. You have to want to create what you're creating.

Good ideas. To be blunt a good idea that interests people is just going to be more popular than a bad one that doesn't. Sometimes something that interests you doesn't interest a lot of other people, that's why you gotta make peace with caring more about quality interaction over quantity, and being more self-aware.

Making friends. Finding people who are as enthusiastic as you about something is going to go a long way, and people who aren't as enthusiastic are more likely to become enthusiastic or support you if you're friends and you can annoy them in their DMs with 3 hour tangents about your favourite thing. Honestly once you have someone you can do this to you stop caring about the other stuff. Art's about communication, like I said. Participating in events is a great way to make friends, but so is just reaching out to people you like.

Being friendly. This one's pretty simple. If you're a dick people aren't going to take the time to get invested in your project even if it interests them.

Being accessible. This covers anything from literal accessibility to having clean directories and tags, to anchoring/themed extra engagement. 'Do you have any questions about [character]' is going to get more engagement than 'feel free to ask me anything about my au' even if there's less questions to ask because it's less broad and puts less of a burden on the asker to come up with a prompt. It's easier to be broader later on when you have already put out a lot of information and people are more invested.

Being concise: Basically very few people are going to read this goliath of a post compared to a short, information dense, clear post. When I post art I try to avoid too much text, because I want the art to be the focus of the post. When I post writing I put it under a cut so it doesn't consume someone's dash and write something clearer above. The reason writing is going to get less engagement is because it takes more time and effort to engage with than a picture. People who aren't already invested aren't going to sift through 10 paragraphs of loose info. This goes for art, too. One piece is going to catch the eye easier than 10 unrelated sketches or a long form comic. This doesn't mean don't make this content, but be smarter about how you present it to take into account how it engages people.

Tagging things. Don't abuse tags or put irrelevant tags, but finding out what tags are frequented that apply to your art helps. There is definitely still an inconsistent limit of tags that tumblr's search actually pays attention to, so put the most important ones first. I usually put warnings first and foremost and put personal categorization tags last. Being consistent with tags lets people find stuff on your blog easier and makes you show up in a search more frequently, so you're easier to find for people who use tumblr in different ways.

Time of day. This one's finicky to figure out and can change but if you post when there's more people online... well, more people are likely to see it. Apparently other people follow like hundreds or even thousands of blogs and don't even look at everything on their dash, so for those types of people posts might as well not exist unless it's at the top of their dash. This also helps when popping up in more popular tags' most recent when people are actually looking them up. This doesn't affect posts as much as people think but it does enough to be visible. I frequently post things at like 1 am when no one's on so it doesn't get notes until later on and through notifications.

anyways, i hope something in there helps. If not, well... crap.

[pardonmydelays]

There hasn't been much news about him [LMM] lately for a while now until this month, so it's understandable to lose interest (I guess is the right term) in him and his projects. Warriors is definitely a huge step back for him! If he really is collaborating with Taylor Swift on this like we all began to speculate in April, then I would have rather it been some extended version of her song from TTPD featuring him. He is extremely capable of writing songs and creating characters for original musicals (even if they are based on a film or novel), and it just disappoints me that he went this route instead of spend his time and energy on a new original musical. Give me a reason to go to New York! I'm still going to to try and go next year anyway because there's a musical I really want to see (and because I am in dire need of going back), but I'm trying to get into musicals more and Lin just kinda ✨ threw away his shot ✨ with this one. As for Disney, yeah, I'm not entirely excited about that too, especially seeing that he probably chose Mufasa: The Lion King over Moana 2. I love "We Know the Way" and "An Innocent Warrior" the most! And "You're Welcome" and "How Far I'll Go". Bro really could've given us more songs like those in Moana 2... I'm sure the music will be good regardless, but it just lowkey sucks that he didn't write any of them.

I hope he has more, EXCITING projects coming up that he's been keeping a secret...

literally all of this - i agree with every single one of your words and i'm glad someone who's also a fan of his work has pretty much the same opinion about all of this (the warriors, collab with taylor, moana 2). there's really nothing more to say about this. we just have to wait and see what happens.

i don't think losing interest would be the right term in my case tho... it's actually more than that and i don't even know if i want to talk about it, but maybe i should. this fandom fucking destroyed my mental health to the point i don't want to be a member of this community anymore. i'm still a fan. i still follow him and i still love his work. i'm trying to keep up with all the updates. i know everyone here probably thinks i just found myself a new obsession and this is the reason i don't talk about lin anymore. trust me, i listened to in the heights the other day and i started sobbing like a goddamn clown. i still love him and i always will. i think it all went down when i created my musical theatre instagram account and started being more active in the fandom... the energy there is slightly different than here. people are actually fighting for his attention. his birthday was like a fucking shit show of who would do more just to be noticed by him. i kinda started feeling like maybe i am worth nothing because i've never met him, never been to new york (simply because i cannot afford it at the moment) or never been noticed, or maybe i haven't been here long enough, well, i also don't have a motherfucking role in this fandom - i'm not a writer, i don't make art, no talents at all, i'm just here to admire and enjoy his work. it all went too far and i was even too fucking tired to keep answering all the asks i was getting about him (and there was a lot of them at some point, probably because i was the most active member of this community on tumblr and someone who was always defending him and people started treating me like a person who knows fucking everything about him and that's just not true). i enjoyed it for a while. then i stopped. who the fuck even am i to be treated like a goddamn leader of the fandom or whatever the case was. i don't know. all i know is that it was just too much. i appreciate the fact that i was getting so many nice messages from all those people but ugh... i was once asked about discord server for his fans and i decided to create one with a huge help of my mutuals. then i fucking left. my own discord server. i don't even think anyone noticed. lmao. nobody actually asked me why, so that's what i assume. i was exhausted and drained. i just think people are taking all of it too seriously??? it was actually my mistake that i ever let myself think i was worth less than others because of all those stupid things. anyway. i don't want any of this. i hope no one in this fandom even remembers me now, maybe except those people i still talk to. the rest is history.

you may think i am making the same mistake now, but no. it's different. i am just here to have a good time, reblog silly pictures with my silly little tags and maybe make some of my mutuals laugh. i also want the new members of the fandom to feel loved and safe and to know that they are all equally important, doesn't matter if they were here years ago or joined last week. it's all just so fucking stupid. i don't have a role and i don't want one. i'm just here to enjoy it, it's way more fun this way - tumblr is actually great for me again.

i have no idea why i decided to use your ask as an opportunity to tell all of this. i don't know. i'm sorry. it just had to be said i fear.

one last thing, if you really want to get into musicals more, i can recommend you some of my favourites. i have a good taste actually!

[yellowloid]

i think one of the main problems of tumblr (and fandom culture, and the internet in general) is that people tend to forget as human beings we are made of multitudes. nothing is ever just black or white - there are infinite shades of grey in between and that is the very thing that makes us, well, human.

sometimes people have contrasting opinions within themselves and - guess what - even contrasting feelings. sometimes people feel strongly about stuff and that is okay. you can love something/someone so much and at the same time find yourself disappointed by something related to it/them. that happens. it's okay.

i'm not gonna talk about what's going on on twitter because tbh i haven't checked so i have no idea wtf they're on about there, but i want to focus on our little tumblr community - which is so special because of the fact that it is (mostly) conflict-free, and if there's something we share it's a kind of visceral love for the boys that i'm sure everyone here can understand.

this is not an indirect @ anyone in particular, but i've seen some posts going around talking about all the negativity on the dash after last night, and i wanted to share my two cents on that.

we all love them. we all fucking love them so much and we know every time they set foot on stage we're guaranteed to be blown away by how fucking good and special and talented they are. they know how to deliver a spectacular performance (even in emergency situations like yesterday, with alex's laryngitis which is definitely far from gone) and they know how to keep the audience's attention fixed on them. they're a special kind of hypnotising, and every show is unique in and of itself *because* of their incredible presence, regardless of what setlist they might give us.

we all know that, and yesterday's show was no exception. it was amazing, powerful and breathtaking like every show they deliver. mindblowing, as always. as simple as that.

and that's exactly what can turn disappointing real quick. they know how fucking good they are. they know how much potential they have, and that all this tour they've been using up to 10% of said potential. they're incredibly talented and smart, and still decide to stick to their comfort zone every. single. night. with few exceptions, obviously, and mostly never from the album they're supposed to be touring. that's what upsets people here - the fact that they're letting their own HUGE potential go to waste.

glastonbury is a milestone. they had nothing to prove, of course, having headlined it already and more than once in the past. everyone knows what they're capable of. but glastonbury is special, too, and instead if felt like just another random show they could then go and tick off their list. done, next. rinse and repeat.

and of course we also all know it was an emergency. alex has been straining his voice for a long time now - the three consecutive london gigs were the breaking point, and i'm so glad they took a bit of time to let him rest, despite the fact that they probably hated having to cancel the dublin show. but they couldn't ditch glasto, and so they showed up and they did a fucking amazing job. alex sounded so good and i think i can speak for all of us when i say i was so incredibly relieved to see he was okay. i was shaking and biting my nails worried sick about him for DAYS up to the moment they appeared on stage and seeing him get up there and kill it with a fucking crazy performance, putting in all that effort and dedication despite the fact that he's no doubt still recovering (no way his laryngitis is 100% gone, and i hope he gets some more rest because he needs it) made me so proud of him, so fucking happy and proud and i couldn't really love him more. i love him so much, i love them all so much and i know everyone here also does. no one here is blaming it on him for whatever happened yesterday. we're all just fucking glad and grateful he could show up in the first place. he's the most special most talented most beautiful little guy ever and we all love and cherish him so much it hurts. and he did so fucking well, as always. i hope he knows that, and i hope he knows he's allowed to be sick and he's not to blame for anything. i would personally fight anyone who dared say anything bad about him because no one fuck's with tumblr's most beautiful most precious babygirlboy. no one!!!!!

having said that, big changes in the setlist - especially a live debut of hello you or other new songs - were highly unlikely and we all knew that. they probably wouldn't have had the chance to rehearse due to alex's sickness. and that's okay! sure everyone would love to see those songs finally make their grand debut. but that can wait, because alex's health is more important.

and let's face it. i don't think it's that big of a reach to say that even if alex hadn't been sick, the setlist wouldn't have changed that much anyway. there's songs that simply cannot be scrapped, songs to which they're particularly attached and songs to which average fans are also particularly attached. then there's songs that have been on rotation, and songs that have finally already made a comeback during the sheffield shows. taking away all that, the songs that have an actual real possibility of coming back aren't that many - as much as it hurts me to say it, they won't be playing secret door or piledriver waltz or batphone or whatever more niche song anytime soon. and we know that, no one *really* expects them to. because they have to gather to the general crowd, and as repetitive as their current setlist might be, it works. could house more new songs - they skipped big ideas? and songs such as mr schwartz and iaqwitia haven't made a comeback in such a long while... but still. it's bomb. it works, and it works fucking well.

however, there were other changes that could have been made to make glasto special - changes that wouldn't have been a risk to alex's health; small things that could have made a difference, even a tiny one. @mrschwartz said it perfectly in her tags (i hope it's okay to show these sbfksjf i just think you put it into words really well):

it WAS a win. the sole fact of headlining glasto, in and of itself, is a win. a big fucking one at that. and little changes could have been made to make it memorable - to make it stand out when compared to every other gig they played this tour. there definitely were highlights - not only with alex's antics but also lyrically, with the jet skis/iwby/star treatment moment, which was OUTSTANDING - but for the rest nothing really spoke GLASTONBURY. nothing else *really* stood out, and that's a shame.

(not even gonna touch on the miles thing because yeah we all know they probably wanted to do it but couldn't for some reason; it's pretty clear rn that him showing up in london was to make up for him not being able to be there yesterday; we all had our suspicions and they were right. still bummed tho because them playing glasto together is a tradition!)

but considered all that, it is what it is. no one is gonna go around unstanning them because of last night. if anything, when they pull this shit they just make us want to follow them even more, to see what they'll be up to in the next shows. what aces they have up their sleeves - because we know just as well as they know that they have many. they're just too comfortable in their routine to pull them all out, and hopefully sometime in the near future we'll get to see more of what they can really do.

again, it was an amazing show. my heart was beating so fast and i kept grinning like an idiot at the screen, just because they were there. just because they showed up in the first place, with their talent and beauty and power and insane energy. just because i love them so much i can't even begin to explain it.

and i was a bit disappointed, too. because we know how much potential they have. because if they can put up an amazing show like that using only a crumble of that potential, we can only imagine how insanely spectacular of a performance they could deliver if they used even a little bit more of it.

but they refuse to, and that's what can be upsetting. but it doesn't take away the love we have for them. the two things can coexist, and they don't take away from each other. if anything, i woke up this morning with even more love for them than i did yesterday, exactly because they frustrate me with how legendary they are, and how bad i want them to show that to the whole world.

i love them, i'm disappointed, and that's not gonna stop me from loving them even more.

[chacusha]

Kind of a random post, but sometimes I see a post going around Tumblr telling people to not think of their art as "content" but rather just call your art "art," call your fiction "fiction," etc. Don't call it "content." I am too lazy to find the post in question, but in any case, that's not the only place I've seen this sentiment, so the original post isn't necessary -- I now regularly see people outside that post criticizing calling one's fannish or creative outputs "content" (presumably after having read that post).

And while I can kind of see the connection between "content" and "content producer" and this sort of undesirable culture of, like, overwork, monetization, obsession with clout/following, and/or pressure to constantly produce and not go too long without a lull in a stream of "content," I'm just not sure it's the word "content," or thinking of your fic/art/whatever generically as "content," that's the issue? I think that pressure would still exist regardless of what you call your social media posting and, conversely, I think "content" can be a very innocuous and appropriate way of thinking about one's outputs/contributions/whatever you want to call them, at least in a fandom context.

Cutting the rest because this got kinda long:

Like, I am not someone entirely immune to the pressure to create ever more art, but output/productivity/clout/monetization has never been something I really struggle with or which motivates me on social media. I don't have productivity goals (in the sense of sheer volume -- I do have big projects I badly want to finish because they burn a hole in my mind, and I sometimes need productivity goals in order to make any progress on them at all). I also don't attempt to make money off any of my art (it actively kills my art drive to do so), and so I'm also pretty indifferent about the popularity of what I make (aside from social factors or other natural artist desires to want one's talent/skill/achievement/etc. to be recognized, which I don't think is unusual or unhealthy for an artist unless it becomes pathological), because I am not financially dependent on my social media posts having far reach or anything like that.

But specifically when it comes to fandom, when I contribute to a fandom, I tend to be very multimedia in the way I do that. I write fic, I draw, I make graphics, I write meta/essays/manifestos, I make memes, I create events/communities/social activities, I collect reference material, etc. etc. The easiest, most succinct, and most accurate way to describe what I do is that I produce... content for my fandoms. I guess you could call it "outputs" but that sounds robotic and business-speaky. Or you could call it "works" but I don't like that because fan stuff is what I do as a break from work; they don't feel like work and I wouldn't describe them that way. Also, calling some of things I make "works" sounds a bit grandiose for what they are! Calling all those things "art" doesn't work either because I need to be able to distinguish my art-qua-general-fannish-activities from my visual/drawn art, and, between those two categories, I don't think the word "art" is an appropriate way to describe the first, especially when it fits the second much better (it depends on context, obviously -- sometimes "art" is clear as a generic, but if I'm talking about both things at the same time, it will not be). "Fanworks" doesn't work either because not all the things I produce are fanworks. It's... content. Like, maybe I am missing something obvious, but I literally cannot think of a better/more accurate way of talking about my collective fannish output (other than "my collective fannish output").

Another helpful use of the word "content" is when you're in, like, rareshipper hell (which I am). Then it becomes very tempting to be like:

...whenever someone posts anything related to your rarepair, no matter how small, off-the-cuff, or modest. Or really:

Like, there's a level of desperation you reach in a tiny fandom where literally anyone contributing anything feels like a life-restoring drop of water in a desert... When you're desperate for literally anything, it seems fine to say what you are craving is "content." I suppose I could also say, "Finally, some good fucking literally-anything-at-all for this fandom" instead. But the word "content" does the job.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I think the word "content" is getting a weirdly bad rap here. I do get the mental adjustment someone is urging you to make when they say, "Please don't think of your fic/art/whatever as content" because thinking of it as content first and fic/art/whatever second is an indication that you might be too preoccupied with ensuring you're always producing a steady stream of content without much care over what that content is, or thought as to why you feel pressured to keep churning out content. It could also indicate that you view your role as a fan or creative person as being a "content producer," someone whose value is dependent on how much you produce and whether you're producing, which can often be unhealthy (unless you do that for a job, are paid based on your level of output, and absolutely love your job -- then that's great!).

So I think that's a very valid and important PSA to make to creatives -- you need to be cognizant of when, like, you're becoming alienated from your art and especially your hobbies/fandoms/things you do in your spare time. I just also think there are legitimate uses for the word "content" specifically, especially in fandom (e.g. to describe your collective fannish output or your collective fannish intake when you're very multimedia in inclination) and so I personally haven't found the whole "content (derogatory)" attitude in fandom/on social media to be helpful to my particular situation, to be honest. Not contradicting the general sentiment of that post and its advice, but I just think thinking of your work as "content" is okay/appropriate, actually (situationally).

Anyway, sorry, I wrote a mini-essay again (I thought this would be "short").

[areacodefan]

Confession & Connection Time

I know many of us are shaken to the core about the sudden death of Lisa Marie.

I read the tribute from her friend who was also a grief counselor and in it, he wrote about Lisa dedicating herself to supporting other grieving parents, including their plans to do a podcast. It inspired me to go out of my comfort zone in her honor and in honor of that commitment.

I am tremendously upset by Lisa’s death and cannot stop thinking of Priscilla and bursting into tears. Because I know what it is to lose a daughter. My only child was killed in a wreck two decades ago and I have never been the same. I almost didn’t survive it and was fully incapacitated for many, many years. In the past few years I have been coming into a promising new phase of grief and life, one that is difficult to navigate but one for which I am grateful. But any time I hear of a parent losing a child — whether it’s someone I know personally or not — it affects me tremendously. School shootings and celebrity deaths can be just as upsetting for me as for someone I know, albeit shorter lived since someone I do not know is not connected to me daily. But the universality is still there. Only other parents whose children have died know the suffering when their child is gone before them, regardless of circumstances and regardless of age.

Sadly, ironically, this is why I blurred out the letter I wrote for Elvis’s birthday when I posted it. After thanking him for his life and talent, I asked Elvis to hug my little girl for me. I think we all know he of course would do that. It’s making me cry again to write this now, imagining him scooping up my precious sweetheart (she was only 8) in his fatherly arms. I also asked him to find my mom and to tell them both I feel them with me always. As sensitive and kind as everyone is in our fandom, it felt too personal and vulnerable to share these details among a cyber community.

But here we are now. Lisa is dead. Priscilla’s heart is shattered. The family is devastated. The Elvis film family is floored. And the world is in shock. And I imagine that Austin is grieving in a strange and unique way, having come to love her as a “daughter” through his character work but also by feeling a maternal bond from her as well after they met. I acknowledge my thoughts about Austin are speculation on my part and I do not want to suggest I actually know what he is feeling. I don’t want to disrespect him with a formal assumption. Only to share that these thoughts and feelings have bubbled up for me by way of concern for his tender soul, whether or not they are accurate, and I’m sad for him, too.

Personally I must and do believe Lisa is in her father’s loving and long-awaited embrace and that she is also reunited with her beloved son. I know that I long for the day I will be with my daughter again on the same energetic plane — even though I connect to her constantly across the ethers. It was, in fact, that intense pull to be with her that made my life so precarious for so long after her death. And something I deeply understood about Lisa when she referred to how hard it was for her without Benjamin, including her intense feelings of guilt.

I decided to post this in case there are any others in the fandom who have survived a child and who need the extra support & understanding that a fellow bereaved parent shares. Also, after seeing Mel make a post about caring for ourselves and each other, and the many other anguished tributes that are showing up in my blog. Amongst the many posts I have spotted a few comments, tags, and reblogs that have the resonance of someone who knows a parent’s grief. So just in case someone else here is facing that, too, and in honor of Lisa, I decided to bare my soul.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, DM, or send me an ask. In between my own self care (which includes pacing myself on social media), I am also in ongoing recovery from a recent hospitalization, which is a factor in the amount of time I’m on tumblr right now. Otherwise I am available and at your service in compassion and solidarity.

I want to acknowledge a few of my fandom anchors @karamelcoveredolicity @ash-omalley @troubleinapinksuit @burninlovebutler @succsessions and everyone else who is posting, caring, sharing, and hurting. To any other bereaved parents, we know there are no words that adequately convey our experience. We only have the recognition and companionship of one another as fellow travelers on a journey we never, ever imagined we would be forced to take.

Love,

MJ

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

-

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

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2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

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3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

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4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

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5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

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6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

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7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

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8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

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9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

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10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

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11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

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...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

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finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello this is 4am anon losing sleep on your fics. i would like to send a formal apology to you, my queen author, for i will not learn and will continue to binge read on your fics 😎

in all seriousness tho, seeing that notif when you make a new post, regardless of the fandom i will read it, or even just a reblog makes my day. the funny quips and comments on your reblogs makes me giggle all the time. and your work? absolute masterpieces!! 💯💯💯

i hope you continue sharing your talent with us, as long as you enjoy making them of course, and keep being that badass bitch unique person that you are.

NO WAY OMG

First of all, the fact you're apologizing to me for losing sleep 😭 like girl what 😭 boy what the hell boy. My pal my love my baby you should be apologizing to yourself 😭 its interesting you know id be concerned for your well-being though because irl i am the mom friend, which begs the question 😀 do i know you? Or perhaps you've seen some of my comments telling people off lol

Also

You like seeing my post notifs 😭🥰🥹 regardless of the fandom ?!?!?!?

Im so happy you like my reblogs i love reblogging work so much its half of the fun!!! I love reblogging with memes 🫶 and the fact that i make the writer's day as well makes me so happy and i think deserve 😌

I feel honored to know you hold such high regard for my content and my works

Ive been on this site for years as a lurker cos i admit i was a stupid teen who didnt know how tumblr works fr HAHAHAH and now that ive realized what it feels to be part of the community its made be love the site so much more 😍

Thank you nonnie im so glad to know that i make some sort of positive impact in someone's life 😩 God really said bless my people with memes. 💅😍 I think slay

[unforth]

Why does everyone always recommend Twist and Shout for destiel? Like what happened in fandom at that time to make it so popular that it's now a staple? I haven't read it. I refuse. I know there is major character death and people complain it is OOC so I'm just wondering why do people love it so much? I have read so many long fics written by immensely talented writers in this fandom that end hopefully and tackle difficult subject matter while maintaining character voices that it seems a shame that T&S is always recommended

So, I also haven’t read it - I don’t do MCD, no matter how highly recommended a fic comes. However, here’s what I’d say in answer to this question.

Twist and Shout came out, it was during a period when the fandom was huge, and exploding. Season 8 was something of a Destiel renaissance (it’s when I started shipping it, for example) and it’s not a coincidence that a lot of the best known fic came out in 2012 and 2013 (for reference, T&S started posting on October 15th, 2012, according to AO3). I wasn’t active on AO3 Destiel fandom at that time (I started reading fic on FF.net in early 2013) nor was I active on Tumblr or in fandom circles where shipping was a big Thing, so I don’t know what the general fandom reaction to it was at the time, but presumably it met with a fair degree of popularity. People liked it. People recced it. I have no idea if it had the MCD tag at that time, but presumably it did. People read it knowing that. And presumably, some people didn’t like it, and some people didn’t rec it, but like any other fic it went through a process of developing popularity.

Why did it get to be first?

In my honest opinion?

Utterly random chance. If you look at ANY developing fandom, some of the trends are in fact totally random, at least to begin with. Once the avalanche starts, though, it’s self-perpetuating.

Think about it. You’re in a brand new fandom. You don’t know anyone. You haven’t read anything. You’re desperate to read something. What do you do? You go to AO3, find the ship you want to read, and you sort by most hits, or most kudos, or most comments, and decide - I’m gonna start by reading these. You see the first fic...okay, MCD, a little off putting...but it’s got SO MANY HITS and SO MANY KUDOS...just take the chance!

So, you (my hypothetical fan) read this fic. One of two things happen - you either love it or you hate it. If you hate it, you may not even finish it, but regardless, you’ve added to the stats - your views count, and maybe you liked the early chapters and kudosed, or maybe you remember everything you’ve heard about authors liking comments on early chapters of fully posted works, and you commented. So those stats have gone up, even if someone HATED it. And on the second, you love it - and you come out gushing! You kudos! If you’re super enthusiastic maybe you log out and give it a second guest kudos! And, as you start getting into the fandom and meeting people, you want to spread this love - you tell your friends - hey, I just read this great fic, and yeah, it’s MCD, but just give it a chance!

And so it begins again - if you tell four people, and they read it, and two hate it, and two love it, and those two tell four people, and two hate it, and two love it, and it just cascades.

Why is Twist and Shout the most popular fic in this fandom? Because Twist and Shout is the most popular fic in this fandom. Yes, it’s a tautology, but it’s entirely self-perpetuating. People read it because it’s listed first. People read it because they like it, and re-read it and re-read, and re-read it, to get that high. People hate read it. People read it just to find out what the big deal is. In a fandom with coming up on 100,000 posted stories, Twist and Shout has almost twice as many kudos as the fic in second (by the, in my personal opinion, far more deserving Annie D, though it’s also not their best work in my opinion, and the reasons it’s up there are likely the same), and almost four times as many hits. By any measure on AO3 surveys, it’s number one when people sort, and lots of people will read it simply out of curiosity.

That kind of popularity is self-perpetuating. And of course lots of people love T&S - it has 1.2 million hits, and almost 35000 kudos. Even if we go extremely conservative and say, 35,000 people have read T&S, that’s simply a shit ton of people, and if even only 10% loved it, that’d still be 3500 people gushing about that single fic. I’ve been writing for 5 years and I don’t have a single fic with even 3500 kudos, and I’m considered a relatively successful writer in this huge fandom.

But here’s, to me, the most important thing - I truly believe any fic can be a Twist and Shout. It’s a confluence of events that makes a fic such a juggernaut, and the vast majority are simply luck. Random drift means one fic is gonna end up on the top of the heap - and once a fic is there, reading tendencies, confirmation bias, and exposure guarantee it’ll STAY on the top of the heap.

I started the Destiel Favs Survey because I felt that the “top 20″ fics by hits in the Destiel fandom didn’t reflect the fics people actually like. I got curious, so I made a list.

In February 21st, 2017, the top 20 fics on AO3 by kudos were:

Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme (which, at the time, had 25,507 kudos)

Dean Doesn’t Listen to Eurythmics by Annie D

An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Revealed by Valinde

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist

How (Thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (Accidentally) Raised Each Other (and Sam) by Vera_DragonMuse

A Room of One’s Own by NorthernSparrow

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone

Grey by Valinde

Convenient Husbands by Annie D

Forget-Me-Not-Blues by noangelsinthegarrison

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone

Real Slick Dean by trilliath

In This Secluded Spot I Respond as I Wouldn’t Dare Elsewhere by RhymePhile

The Breath of All Things by KistmetJeska

Unfamiliar by riseofthefallenone

Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph

A Hole in the World by AnnelieseMichel

A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight

Today, 1/9/21, four years later, the top 20 fics by Kudos are:

Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme (no change in rank, now has 34,907 kudos)

Dean Doesn’t Listen to Eurythmics by Annie D (no change in rank)

Revealed by Valinde (+1 in rank)

An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky (-1 in rank)

A Room of One’s Own by NorthernSparrow (+3 in rank)

How (Thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (Accidentally) Raised Each Other (and Sam) by Vera_DragonMuse (+1 in rank)

A Turn of the Earth by microcomets/mishcollin (not on the old list by kudos, but it was on the list by 2018 when I did another check in)

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone (-3 in rank)

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist (-3 in rank)

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon (the first work to break through, and it’s in tenth)

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison (+1 in rank)

Grey by Valinde (-2 in rank)

Convenient Husbands by Annie D (-2 in rank)

Professional Couple Only by saltyfeathers (our second new work)

Real Slick Dean by trilliath (-1 in rank)

A Beginner’s Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight (+4 in rank)

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone (-4 in rank)

Unfamiliar by riseofthefallenone (-1 in rank)

The Breath of All Things by KismetJeska (-3 in rank)

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone (-11 in rank)

In 4 full years, only three works managed to break into the top 20, even though - based on my original data, which you can view here - most of these works have nearly double in the number of kudos they’ve had in that amount of time. Further, the most recently written fic on EITHER of these lists is from 2015 - A Turn of the Earth and Professional Couple Only are from 2015 - and all the rest is older.

These fics aren’t the top 20 because they’re better, and if there was even an ounce of objectivity in this list, it would have actually shown any change in 4 years instead of looking virtually identical. 

Twist and Shout, and the other “most popular” and “most recommended” works in the Destiel fandom have that distinction because they’re the most read, so more people read them, so they’re the most read, so more people read them, so they’re the most read, so...ad infinitum.

And that’s not a judgement call against them! There are fics I LOVE on that top twenty list. But, dear anon, you ask me why I think Twist and Shout is the most popular?

All of this is why. Twist and Shout is the most popular because popularity in fic culture is the only perpetual motion machine in the universe. It is self-perpetuating, and as a result, Twist and Shout will always be the most popular fic in this fandom.

And that’s why I do the faves list - because the tops on AO3 tell us abso-fraggin’-lutely nothing, and I thought we needed a list that actually meant something for what fics people active in the fandom truly love - which DOES include some of those top 20 fics by AO3 data, and includes lots and lots of others that are just as or more wonderful.

*steps off soap box*

(sorry this is stupidly long, I have Opinions.)

[diamondsplit]

12. Do you prefer writing main or minor canon characters?

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

25. One thing you’d like new roleplayers to know?

Meme for Roleplay Muns

12. Do you prefer writing main or minor canon characters?

It depends on the fandom.. I've played both. I think I often have the first instinct to play a main character but the more I get into a series/book/fandom the more I fall in love with some weird side character. Also when I look at an RP fandom and I see that the muse I like a lot is already played 483 times, then I rather choose someone less popular. Otherwise finding partners and interactions can be tedious. (Unless I'm very passionate about a muse or ship; then I play them regardless of how many blogs already exist for them.) I've often written villains too, which are both rare and on the minor side. I think I rarely played the actual main character of a fandom 🤔

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

Some goddamn chill. Also mutual respect and basic manners would be nice.

25. One Multiple things you’d like new roleplayers to know?

- You will find great rp partners eventually; don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen in the first week. - Amazing graphics are overrated and misleading. There are plenty of rpers with gorgeous themes and very creative formatting who write utter garbage in terms of content and expression, and plenty of writers with amazing talent and skill but tumblr standard theme and no icons. Don't judge a book by its cover. - The most popular people in rp communities are not necessarily the nice ones, or the ones you want to be friends with. Or even the ones who write well, haha. - A lot of us don't have English as our first language, content matters more than proper grammar to most people - don't be discouraged or embarrassed by your mistakes. You're learning and you're doing well. - You are not worse or better for (not) writing/liking smut in RP. It's just a preference and says nothing about your quality as a writer.

[another-au-in-time]

Okaaayyyyy,, hopefully this will be the last time I post about this

So first off, I would like to apologize for my own ignorance and to the non-Subcon artists in the fandom for going off without actually knowing what I'm talking about or what all this discourse is actually about. I haven't been in the AHiT tags in, well over a year now, so I didn't know what was going on nor the scope of it. Basically, I was completely wrong and jumped straight to conclusions based off like. 3 or 4 posts I've seen floating around. That's entirely on me. It's cool if you forgive me or not, I'm not making this post for pity-me points

So, what this all seems to boil down to is non-Subcon content creators are frustrated with the disproportionate attention Subcon content receives, NOT because "Snatcher is too popular and I hate seeing him and if you like him you suck >:(" like I initially thought. Non-Subcon meaning AHiT content that doesn't have to do with Subcon (characters like Snatcher, Vanessa, Subconites, etc). And they're right, there is a fairly dramatic gap in between content that gets more likes and reblogs versus content that doesn't. Essentially, they are asking that if you see their work, regardless of the character that's in it, reblog it so other people can see it too, so we can foster a more equal distribution of content and attention for all characters and creators

Now, I'm gonna shoot myself in the foot here: realistically, in every fandom, there is more or less the same problem; for example, in Undertale, Sans is by far THE most popular character in comparison to literally anybody else, and Papyrus is only as popular by proxy. In the SCP fandom, I'd say an overwhelming majority favors 049 over any other SCP. In Pokemon, Charizard is so ridiculously popular Game Freak may as well make it the main mascot instead of Pikachu. And in A Hat in Time, the favored character by far happens to be Snatcher

I'm not trying to say "Oh, well it happens all the time so get over it!" I'm saying it does happen and it is frustrating. Personally, I can't stand Charizard. I wish some of my favorite Pokemon were more popular because they hardly get attention. Everybody sleeps on Gastrodon I swear…

But my point is, A Hat in Time's fandom is tiny in comparison to other fandoms. Are people obligated to reblog content they don't care for? Of course not. You can't make people like or reblog stuff they don't care for no matter how many posts you make about it. That is something we all need to come to terms with. The internet is fake, the Tumblr numbers are fake. It really isn't anything to be upset by. However, it can be and is upsetting when you pour your time and energy into a piece and it gets less than 20 notes. I like to hope the fandom is kind and will try to help out the smaller, less popular content creators by circulating their work when you see it. There are quite a lot of characters and even locations in AHiT that really get no opportunity to shine. That does come down to a matter of personal taste, but still. There are more characters and places than Snatcher and Subcon. It's a small community that I think should be helping itself out a lil bit

Like I said in my last post, Snatcher is my personal favorite because he's purple and evil. I like his design, I like his premise. I tend to favor villains as is, and I end up reblogging content for him the most because I like him the most. But I also get tired of seeing the same stuff for him, it gets bland. Sometimes I wanna see background characters. Just today I was thinking about Cooking Cat and Empress and wondered if there were any specific creators for them to follow. Yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about Tim's Friend. I still can't stop thinking about Tim's Friend

There are so many talented people in the AHiT fandom, and I feel like we should nurture that instead of being hostile and misconstruing stuff. I'm tired of the discourse, I'm sure everybody's tired of the discourse. I'm really really tired of the discourse

Tl;dr I was wrong and I'm sorry. Let's help out our smaller creators and less popular characters please and thank you. Nobody is trying to make you, but it would be very cool and awesome if you did : )

PS: there is nothing wrong with liking Snatcher. I want to make that clear. It's okay to not care for the other characters, just don't forget about our content creators who don't make Snatcher stuff

[petekaos]

2020 creator wrap + a follow forever

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

hiii hello everyone! sorry it’s taken me so long to get on this BUT it’s all for good reason! i thought i would combine this post into me sharing some of the works i am most proud of this year as well as spreading more love in this wonderful little community because i truly love you all tons and being a part of such a lovely group of people has made me beyond happy this year. it’s been a difficult year for all of us and i’m just so glad that i can give back the love and care y’all can give to me 💛

onward to spreading love to people who tagged me, in no particular order! thank you all for tagging me, it means so much and know that i have read through your posts at least twice with a smile on my face.

@wjmild: kylie!! you constantly surprise me with how kind and insightful you are, as well as your dedication to watching absolutely every show with lee thanat in it. you are so smart and educated and every time you talk about your research and your studies i can’t help but feel so incredibly proud of you. i really hope life brings you the peace and fulfillment you deserve. i love you!

@gigiesarocha: cata - it is always such a pleasure to see you on my dash. i can rely on you losing your shit over ingredients every two weeks and every time i see jeff doing things it 100% reminds me of you! you possess such a kind soul and i’m so glad to have had the pleasure of following you this year :’)

@yihwas: sometimes i still can’t believe you know who i am and that we’re grouped together, soph! your blog is such a refuge to me, i adore scrolling through your replies and laughing at all the witty things you say. you are simply so kind and thoughtful in your responses and criticism and you have such talent in gifmaking! i am forever grateful to you for introducing me to new lakorns and to you and shannon for creating @lakornladies​. 

@morksuns: sumaya! my url twin! i absolutely love seeing you on the dash, it really is that trans desi solidarity, no? your moodboards are always so aesthetic and your blog is so soft and calm. i see you sending such lovely asks to people, including myself, and i truly admire your personality so much!

@gayvlad: nico, my sibling! i love you so much and seeing you on the dash always makes me smile. sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, but that’s okay, because i’m always here for you. i loved your reactions to dbk in live time, and that you’re now as attached to the show as i am. we love a lot of the same things, and i’ll forever be grateful to you for indulging my headcanons and developing them with me, like the ram and bohn friendship. the ram fic of him finding the gym as a home was developed through much of your influence, and i’ll never stop being astonished at how kind and supportive you are. i love you! 

@khaotungthanawat: saaaam! your gifs are always a beauty to behold. i admire you so much for making those bl compilation gifsets because that takes so much patience and dedication, especially to find all the moments. i can always count on you for underrated gifsets, too, and i smile every time you send me an ask!

@tanwirapong: roa! oh i adored getting to know you better this year through the gifted gays gc. i remember still when you made a post about there’s an art to honesty and it truly made my day - i sent it to my partner and best friend and they were so fond as well! i will always be so happy about the fact that we both lose it over petekao every now and again, it means the world to me :’)

@emisfritish: your wisdom and way of expressing your thoughts will never fail to amaze me, emma. i can always count on you for calling things like they are and writing out well-worded, thought-provoking posts that express everything i have ever thought about fandom but could never quite write down. it’s such a pleasure seeing you on my dash and honestly, whenever i see tay, he reminds me of you!

so that was everyone who tagged me, for which i am eternally grateful! (if i missed anyone... i am so sorry ily...) now onto me rambling about how much i love specific people in the fandom generally that i haven’t already mentioned.

@earthfluuke: maddie... where do i even start. getting to know you this year means the absolute world to me and i love how many thoughts we can share together and how many aus and ideas we can plot out to the finest detail, but i also love how we can talk about serious topics and irl issues affecting us both and know that the other person will be there. i admire you so much for going on and persevering despite the many difficult factors in your life right now. know that i will always be there - to listen to you, to support your gifs and fics, to develop characters with you, to weigh in on problems or ideas you have. i love you!

@asianmelodrama: faiza!! i can never address you without immediately adding ‘jaan’ after it honestly. you are a sister to me in all things and knowing you has been such an honour. your wise words, your calmness in dealing with things, your infectious excitement - they are all facets of your personality that i both admire and adore. whether it’s getting angry about shitty muslim rep or freaking out about a movie, i know that i can always count on you to be there for me if i ever need it. i hope light and love touches your life always, and you find peace in everything you do. if i ever happen to be in england, i am definitely coming over for your chai :’) i love you!

@yioh: yura my laddoo! i say this all the time, but i simply am so grateful that we met. i love seeing your tags on my posts and i just... adore seeing you doing your thing on your blog, your posts always make me smile. i know school is hard right now, but know that i’m always rooting for you and believe in you completely. words cannot express how happy i am to have found another tamil lgbt person who can understand the same experiences, it really does mean everything to me. and know that i will begin reading tyk soon, i promise, and i’ll tell you all about my thoughts! i love youuu!

@1akorn: shannon!! i still cannot believe people group us together because i’ve always admired you from a distance - imagine my absolute surprise when i found out that you followed me! i 100% rely on you for the good mek content and love your gifs so much. you’re so articulate and speak your thoughts incredibly well, which i truly admire.

@brightwin: jelly - you already know the amount of love and fondness i hold for you. you’re such a kind and bubbly person and your personality shines not only through your tags and responses to people, but also through your gorgeous gifsets that are just so warm and lovely. i can always rely on you to give me updates on all things related to brightwin and 2gether. you’re wonderful!

@yibobibo: aamna! i know i can always get my yibo content from you, and i adore it. i love seeing updates about your bunnies and your kind responses to your anons, you truly are a ray of light! you’re also one of the fairly concentrated cql blogs i follow - and for that i am always grateful.

@metawwin: ali! your gorgeous gifs are always such a light on my dash. i remember once you called me ‘rahulito’ and it made me so soft. your voice and songs are so lovely and i don’t even know where to begin thanking you for sharing your art with us. i know it means a lot to me, and it means the same to many others.

@taytawan: nuriaaa! i remember seeing you so often in the petekao tag and i gotta say that your sets of both petekao and sarawatine, especially the heart eyes series, always make me so soft. and of course, the fact that you gifted me this wonderful url! i will always be thankful for that and for your general kindness and warmth that you bestow upon everyone.

@piningbisexuals: axelle! although we don’t talk that much, i always love seeing your gifs and your thoughts on shows on the dash. i’m wishing you all the best with your thai classes and hope that everything goes well with you! also, you should know that i read that manboss fic you gifted to me at least once a week because it just means that much to me - and i’m so glad i got you into this little silly ship of mine. 

@sunsetchimyeon: nene, my pk anon! i love seeing your asks in my inbox and writing essays as replies. having conversations with you was one of my absolute highlights and i’ll always be blown away by how kind and calm and supportive and patient you are! i hope life is treating you well, my friend.

@toptaps: zey!! oh i love seeing your gifs and kindness on my dash and know that whenever i see toptap in anything, he always reminds me of you! also your gifs of sammy? absolutely gorgeous!

@giftedgays: i love you all SO much it is truly insane. being part of our tumblr gc that evolved into a discord server with a thousand channels has been one of my 2020 highlights. i loved yelling with you all about tgg every week and i must thank you all for sitting through my chanonpom breakdowns every second day. 

in particular: 

@pangwave - dawnie, i love you! i admire you and your no bullshit attitude so much. i know you’re going through a process of change right now, and i could not be prouder of you for persevering through it, regardless of the painful and strange circumstances we find ourselves in. i have full faith in you, and i know that you got this. we’re all here for you! 

@doctorbahnjit: - alexa! i still remember when you wrote the first manboss fic and an anon sent me a link regarding it. you are genuinely one of the funniest people i know and you deserve the absolute world. i read out of the blue every day, no kidding, because it means so much to me! thank you for being my fellow chanonpomer, my fellow manboss-er, and just being an all around ray of absolute sunshine.

@gunatps: vee! i have already embarrassed myself enough in my post to you but it’s worth repeating. i adore our eden chanonpom breakdown sessions, which we should have again soon when you have time, and i love us roasting modi in the chat, it truly cracks me up! we have so much in common and i just want to say that i am so proud of you for studying and taking your exams - i know how difficult they are. 

@wavelovespang: cass!! how i adore your analyses and breakdowns of scenes and relationships, you have so much insight and wisdom that you spread in such thoughtful ways! you’re so supportive and kind and such a great teacher, i know that. your writing is so wonderful and i’m truly so honoured that we all get to read it, it’s a gift!

@class2clown: angel! i cannot say this enough but i admire your art so much, it’s so so beautiful! you’ve always been so kind and lovely, and just like with cass, thank you so much for organising the gifted week events! although i couldn’t properly partake this year because of time constraints, i loved seeing everyone’s creations and it was super thoughtful.

@soulmatelines: i’ve said this before, jo, but it must be said again: i cannot believe you thought i was cool. i’ve always adored your gifs from afar and you’re such a sweet person! i love love love talking with you in the kpop channel (even if you personally hate 3racha smh), and you truly do bear the novel agenda! i’ve learned about so many more novels i must read and for that i am so grateful :’) 

@billkinpp: violet, i will never fail to crack up at a) your and kylie’s plans to run away and get married, and b) you having a thousand sideblogs and complimenting yourself on your own gifs in the tags, as you absolutely should! i hope the next year is kind to you and that your sleep schedule isn’t too fucked up :’)

@vihokratanas: mel, i will always be in complete awe of your gifs! they are always so clean and crisp. i remember still when you were fondestphan and my phannie days flashed in front of my eyes fhsnfg but either way, you’re so kind and sweet! 

@pvrrish: eleni!! i don’t think i’ve ever told you this before but i’ve always loved the 2gether poster that you made, i sometimes go on your blog to look at it for like 5 minutes, it’s truly so beautiful! i hope you’ve had an okay year, all things considered, and that life is kind to you!

@lee-thanat: another leesbian, ke! y’all always crack me up in the lesbians for lee thanat channel truly. your simping for ms ladda is so valid, i miss her so much honestly. i hope that the coming year is kind to you, and that you find the peace you deserve!

okay, so i think that’s everyone that i either talk to regularly or admire a lot! in case i didn’t mention you, please please feel free to reach out to me because i mean no offense at all - my brain is small haha. would also like to shout out all my anons who send me asks and bear with my late responses these days because of life, i adore you all and i love answering your asks.

if you’re still reading after this... whole monster of a post, i’m just gonna quickly mention some things i’ve been proud of either writing or making this year. in no particular order:

1. my weary heart has come to rest in yours. this is a fic i wrote in an... interesting headspace, and i was really going through my chanonpom feelings at the time. i’m really proud of how it came out and i adored writing chanon through pom’s pov. also i kinda love how i tied in p’bird’s song prip dtah in with the fic because i adore the song and it fits so well with them.

2. petekao week 2020. i guess this is sort of cheating, because these are technically 7 fics, BUT. i am actually proud of myself for writing seven, and i think they’re all of fairly good quality. i just really love this little universe i created for the dbk characters after the show and this whole week was just so warm and lovely to be a part of.

3. this set of num and prang from a gift for whom you hate. this moment really stuck with me from the finale and i actually am really proud of the colouring and how it came out! i think the blues really popped and i managed to lighten this dark ass scene without whitewashing mek or aye. the fireworks gif also is one of my favourites i’ve made! num and prang’s whole relationship was so pure throughout the entirety of this show, i adored them. 

4. but love is impossible and it goes on despite the impossible. this is the longest fic i’ve posted so far and i’m super proud of it - it’s also my most well-received fic. the yunmeng brothers mean the world to me and i just... wanted to write about jiang cheng and his love for his brother and give them a somewhat happy ending, in one future at least.

5. there’s an art to honesty. i think i really nailed my version of kao in this work! i just really loved writing this fic so much, especially because it was right after the whole ‘scandal’ with new happened. i was really just finding a way to separate kao from him, and i delved into my feelings with this fic as well, because i relate to kao in multiple ways. either way, i thought writing this fic was fun and a lot of people loved it too, which made me so soft!

if you’ve read this far, i personally adore you! while this has been a difficult year, i am blessed to have been part of this loving community, and i really hope that next year will be kinder to us all and give us good shows and discussions! i love you all. stay safe and stay kind, friends 💛

[gallickingun]

bnhabookclub’s rules were plagiarized.

when creating the archive/club blog and server, i was looking at other fandom archive blogs, event blogs, fandom servers, writing servers, and the like, and they all seemed to have similar rules. that doesn’t make what i did right. 

I PLAGIARIZED THE SOUTHSIDEARCHIVE’S RULES WHEN CREATING THE BNHABOOKCLUB. 

my intent was not malicious. regardless of how i felt about alisha/rivendell101 (even though i had never once sent her anonymous hate, made vague posts about her, or was nasty to her in the ssa server or in bnhabc, and never directly had any drama/issues with her), there was no mean intent behind this. i know there’s nothing i can say at this point to make anyone believe that, but i know it’s the truth. and that’s enough for me. i created the bc with the intent to bring writers and content creators together to grow and support one another. that’s it. i didn’t do it out of the nasty hatred of my heart to see anyone else not succeed. i didn’t do it to try and put anyone on top of anyone else, or to push anyone else to the bottom. i just wanted people to be able to work together to have a good time and to improve and get inspired. 

regardless of intent, the end result is still the same. the rules on both the server and the blog were plagiarized from the ssa. 

i apologize for my prior actions and silence. originally, in alisha’s post, she told me she did not want my apology, so i incorrectly assumed that meant there was no need to address the situation because she deliberately stated that there was no need for a response. regardless, i should have done the right thing and owned up to everything from the start. i apologize for that. 

i also want to apologize for the post where someone asked where bookclub came from/originated. i reached out to a mod in another bnha server and asked if we could have more things like the writer bot for sprinting to help create community and hype over each other’s stories. they denied that request because they didn’t want the environment to become to competitive. after that, i started working towards creating an intricate server with a points and rewards system, a fic archive to support other writers (because i had seen all of the upset regarding silent readers lately - originally there was only going to be the discord server alone), bots that were coded by a computer/software engineer (and that we paid to host), etc. i was in several servers at the time, and they all ran very similarly, so i incorrectly believed that there was no need to credit for things such as rules because other servers/blogs were all using the same type of guideline for what they deemed necessary to create a list of rules. i know better now. 

again, regardless of intent or ignorance, i should have reached out and requested permission to format the rules like the ssa’s. 

the fact that people are using my private messages, sent in the heat of the moment when i was upset, and also out of context, is frankly frustrating. i’ve admitted several times that the person i was around march-june is someone who i loathe. i was petty, i was rude, i was flippant, and i was not myself. i’m not going to blame my mental health, i’m taking ownership of my actions during that time. but that does not mean that is who i am now, months later, after a lot of self reflection, therapy, and intervention from very dear friends of mine. as i stated before, i appreciate being given the ability to grow and learn from these experiences and friendships i’ve had for the past few months.

regarding delaying letting alisha into the bookclub, we weren’t going to let new members in until june 1st. as per her post, she was let in around may 23-25, with everyone else. i would never delay bringing in a new member purely off of personal bias alone. and i’m sorry for the fact that those ss made it seem that way. and regarding her being blocked on tumblr, that was after a (ex)friend of mine warned me that alisha might be the person sending me anonymous hate and i just felt uncomfortable having her on my dash with access to my blog. i do not have her blocked on discord, either. there was nothing personal about it. and the allegations that i’m gatekeeping the bnha/hq fandom are frankly ridiculous. even the person in those ss that i ranted to liked/reblogged/commented/recommended alisha’s fics. alisha has a higher follower count than me, her fics get more notes. depending on how you measure success, you could say that she’s literally a more successful blogger/writer than me, based on notes and engagement alone. nothing i did ever kept anyone from reading her fics and interacting with them. i can also recognize her talent. she deserves those notes, she’s a wonderful writer. i legit have had conversations and ss where i’ve stated this, if she would like the proof. 

there is no “NDA” needed to be signed prior to getting into the server, either. i made that announcement because people were upset that these hate blogs are using their messages they send in a private server as ammunition with disregard to how it might make them feel, and also without their consent. it’s not fair or right to use ss of things people say in the privacy of a server to further your agenda. i recognize that i did this in order to address the anonymous hate being sent to me a few weeks ago, which i only did in response to people requesting the “full story”, but i have since deleted the post. if people want to talk about the way they feel to the public, then that’s fine, but discord servers are private places for people to explore their thoughts, desires, and ideas. and i believe they should be kept private. and frankly, the person who is sending these screenshots can just... not let the door hit them on the way out. you’re not welcome if you’re going to lurk, take ss, and not address your issues directly.

i’m going to pin this post, because i do still have my queue running as i’m on semi-hiatus outside of prior obligations such as collabs and matchups, and it will get buried eventually. and this needs to be seen and heard and addressed. i’m not going to answer anonymous hate, i don’t condone anonymous hate being sent, and frankly, if these exposing blogs want to rip apart this post then they’re more than welcome. i feel genuinely horrible for everyone i’ve hurt in the process of all of this, intentionally or unintentionally. i know what it’s like battling mental illness, and i sincerely hope that no one has been triggered or incapable of managing their anxiety throughout this process.

as stated prior, the bookclub is undergoing a full makeover, estimated to be completed by 9/30. this was already started behind the scenes, since we’ve made so many changes to channels, rules, content, roles, etc.. there is going to be nothing remaining from the prior servers without their explicit consent. i really appreciate the time to grow and learn and adjust what’s necessary in order to get everything on the right track.

[justteamavatar]

I need help plz. I just finished LoK for the first time and I don’t know what to do with myself. Do I dive right into fics?! Do I just play the series on repeat in my brain for the next few days?! Do I write a fic before I know how the fandom feels about them??? I went in knowing almost nothing and now I’m just sitting here wondering why on earth there weren’t more seasons and skfhhakshfbd help. I literally just found you bc I didn’t know what to do or who to talk/complain to D’:

Aha, I know that feeling of finishing an amazing series and being at a loss of what to do next!

For me, after I watched the series I decided to read some stories on ao3 and ff to help prolong all those happy emotions I was feeling after seeing the finale! I also decided to make this side blog a bit later on to be part of the community and help spread the love for tlok and atla! There’s nothing better than being able to share and/or create stories, artwork, videos, memes and musing posts about a series that means a lot to you! And for as much as I have some issues with this site, I think Tumblr can be a great place to help unite a community and spread talent - not to mention that you can get the chance to meet other people and forge friendships!

And now that the comics are out, I also recommend that you check out Turf Wars, The Legend of Korra: An Avatar’s Chronicle and Ruins of the Empire as they are canon continuations of the series! They might not have the perfect executions, but at this point, I’m just thankful that we’re getting more stories with the Krew! It seems like there are more stories in the works, and who knows, maybe if the live action atla movie is a big success, we’ll get one with Korra? Even if we don’t, it may open up the doors to further expand the Avatar universe beyond just comics and novels.

Also, if you’re passionate (or even have an interest) about writing, you should definitely give it a shot! Even if it doesn’t exactly turn out the way you want, you’ll find yourself improving overtime the more you practice! I have made quite a few fanfic recommendation posts about Korrasami (this one being the longest one), so you can check out other people’s amazing works for inspiration or reading pleasure!  You can also take a shot at making gifs, drawing or creating graphics too!

And of course, if you don’t want to do any of that, you can always just rewatch the show again multiple times like a lot of us do! Regardless, welcome to the tlok family! It’s always so great to see new people getting invested into the Avatar universe (there’s so much lore to read about and conversations to be had). There are many friendly people on here that would be more than happy to chat with you about tlok, and there are also sites like discord and reddit where you can chat with people as well!

[latin-dr-robotnik]

You know, since I started this blog and my other Spanish blog I always thought my opinions were maybe a little too strongly biased towards Sonic, even when talking about many other gaming franchises...

But hooooo boy this video is something else.

But it’s fine. This is the sort of video I would expect for the 30th anniversary next year, but having it today is nice as well. I don’t know if I would get as defensive as some of the moments of this video (specially that 20-minute long introduction), but I get it. S3K is also my favorite Sonic game, and one of my favs of all time. I played this at such an early age that -without ever thinking too much about it- this has set a standard for all things gaming for me (and I finally realize why I said what I said in this post about judging videogames harshly for their music, it’s because these games showed me so much more). It ain’t just nostalgia, it’s brilliant game design and a benchmark of how ambitious this franchise could get when it gets its shit together. I too felt sad every time Sonic 2 got all the praise while S3K was forgotten and talked only because lock-on or because MJ worked a bit on its music. I did get mad at IGN for a while for their utter disrespect to a franchise that, despite receiving fatal blows that would kill any other game franchise not only once, but twice, still lives to tell the story to this very day. But not that much anymore.

Sonic is special, very special. Just before finding this video I was wondering about why the 2D Sonic games were harder to get into (I have no plans to translate that into a Tumblr post, so it will stay in Spanish, sorry not sorry), and parts of this video not only explain that very same point, but also reach similar conclusions as I did. Being more than your traditional platformer is what sets Sonic apart, and this is a point brought on the video but not on my part, but the experimentation part of this franchise is also a very big atractive point, regardless of the result. We Sonic fans tend to complain about lack of consistency in the games, yet we still love 3D Blast, Black Knight, Unleashed, Heroes, Battle, Spinball and more. Sonic, as a character and as a franchise, never settles for less, for better or worse. That’s why is a bigger sin to have a boring Sonic game rather than an utterly broken one, and why games like Forces can be much more heartbreaking than '06.

But, even if I consider S3K this golden standard for all things Sonic and most things gaming, I have to disagree when the video asks us to refer to this very game when someone says “Sonic was never good”. I don’t need to pull out a 26-year old Sonic game -my fav in the series- to say this “was” a good franchise, because it still is. We are just coming out from one of the most successful movie adaptations of a videogame ever; we have lots of animations -official and fanmade- made out of pure love and respect from this franchise. We have some of the greatest videogame soundtracks of any videogame franchise period. We have 27+ years of varied TV series that tackled topics ranging from wacky and silly fun to serious story developments. We still have the record for the longest running comic series based on a videogame, even though said comic has been dead for some years now. We have one of the best and worst fandoms of all at the same time, filled with well-known infamous personalities, and some of the best, most talented writers and artists I’ve seen and even had the pleasure to talk to and share a laugh or an idea. We have one of the strongest fangame and reverse engineering communities out there, to the point some fans have proven to have the professional skill and love for the franchise to create one of the best official Sonic games of the past decade, while many others use their knowledge to kickstart their own indie careers in the industry. And best of all, we have one of the most iconic fictional characters of all time, even people that haven’t ever touched a Sonic game in their lives know what a “Sonic” is. 

If anything, we Sonic fans tend to undersell the value of this franchise, and while I can and will keep on referring to this game when the “best game” discussion pops up, I don’t really have to look that far back to find signs of Sonic’s greatness.

Even at its worst, this franchise keeps on chuggin’ along. (And there’s a reason why it keeps on going where other competitors have simply vanished from existence or been recently brought back for a quick nostalgia-check.)

On a different note, every time the Sonic fandom is brought up and how “Sonic fans keep fighting at each other when it would be better to leave our differences and join all together”, I can’t stop myself from thinking about this place, the Tumblr Sonic fandom, a place that can get a little bit tarnished due to the overall reputation of the site (it’s a constant love-hate relationship, I admit.) The place where we disagree from time to time but don’t really go nuclear on each other (at least not that often lol); the place where posts like this one pop up all the time, some with an astonishing amount of research and understanding of all the aspects of this franchise; the place where most people I’ve known (and even myself) said it’s “the best corner of the fandom.” And for that I raise my drink to all of you, thank you for sharing this passion together. 

(Now, can we get Nick to look at this place? :P)

“There’s a moment when you realize you’re playing your favorite game”

You know when I realized that? As soon as I found the very first giant ring on Angel Island Act 1.

[horseluvr00-ff]

A Place to Call Home | Chapter 34

Masterlist Here

Rating: T+

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Genre/Warnings: action/adventure/family | kidnapping, violence, strong language.

Story summary: It’s been a few months since the Battle of New York. Steve Rogers is acclimating to life when he crosses paths with teenager Katelyn Sanders, a SHIELD recruit and highly valued asset with a dark past. Follow Kate’s adventure from SHIELD asset to Avenger to wanted fugitive over the course of her youth and into adulthood with her Avenging family. Follows Infinity Saga and beyond.

Words: 7,208

Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Marvel/Disney. My OC Katelyn Sanders, as well as a few other unaffiliated things within this fanfic are of my own creation.

Author Note: Relogs are welcome and appreciated :) Please no plagiarism or reposts on other platforms. Updates occur weekly on Fridays, however posts on Tumblr usually occur Saturdays.

Full story available on FFN and A03 here and here

Chapter 34 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3 in full.

Check out a portion of Chapter 34 below:

It's late in the evening, and Kate is out wandering the streets.

While one could argue it was more dangerous than walking around during the day when people were out and about - for Kate - the desertedness of the city made it easier to spot threats. The overwhelming nature of the day, when hundreds of thousands of people roamed the streets, it was difficult for Kate to focus. Walking around late at night however, with fewer people present, brought about a certain clarity.

While Kate's ability granted her many talents, it also made her hyper aware of a whole magnitude of things. Things most people didn't notice or perhaps didn't even have the courage to confront.

Picking up dinner with Clint earlier that day - Kate hadn't planned on doing anything out of the ordinary. Waiting for the agent to return from the restaurant with their takeout was the plan… Until she heard it.

An individual yelling out, proclaiming someone had taken their backpack. Attention already peaked; Kate had found herself pushing off the wall, heading down the sidewalk towards the closest alley before feeling her senses heighten. The sound bounced off walls and channeled her way. As if she had a sort of psychic map in her mind, Kate picked up a jog, making her way through the small maze of alleys until she heard the sound of heavy breathing pick up.

Breaking into a short run, Kate made her way around the corner, gauging her point of impact before running round the corner, left arm extended out she slammed it into an individual's chest, causing their feet to fly out before they hit the ground with a pained grunt-like yell.

Picking up the backpack, Kate had watched as the individual, looking only a few years older than herself, had quickly gotten up and ran away, more fearful than she had originally anticipated.

The whole ordeal had been over as quickly as it had started. The individual that had called out regarding their stolen property eventually ran up to her and Kate returned the property, mentioning that the one who had taken it had dropped it. No need to gloat.

Kate had made her way back to the restaurant quickly, hoping she hadn't been missed, only to see Clint on the phone and looking somewhat nervous.

Yeah, that hadn't been the greatest moment. Especially after Steve's reaction when they got back to the Tower.

Hands deep in her hoodie pockets, Kate continues to walk down the mostly empty sidewalk dimly lit by streetlights. There weren't many people out. The majority of them didn't look all that menacing, but her senses made clear which people projected ill-intent and which didn't. Raised heart rates and tense muscles were prominent in most of the individuals she passed, as if they thought they'd get caught any moment.

While her better judgment told her this wasn't smart, she also couldn't really remember a time when she did something like this. The last time she was "normal" she was probably seven years old. The amount of freedom people her age had- she didn't know… However she felt capable enough to be out here… looking for trouble to stop.

She tried not to dwell on that fact too much - the fact that she was out here late at night looking for trouble - some kind of bad to stop.

Turning down a different block, Kate keeps her eyes ahead but somewhat low on the sidewalk. She could feel eyes turn towards her as she passed people here and there. Pulling her hood over her head, Kate continues on her way.

Aside from the thundercloud over her head telling her she was asking for trouble, the city was somewhat comforting at night. It might be her subconscious understanding that she could handle any individual who may approach her with ill intent, but regardless of the fact, she felt a sense of ease walking down the street, the cold air soothing her.

A string of angered curses suddenly pulls Kate from her thoughts and her eyes snap upwards. Coming to a corner, she looks down the sidewalk seeing two people disappear into one of the alleyways.

"I- said no," A female voice; agitated.

Clenching and unclenching her hands in her pockets, Kate begins making her way down the sidewalk before slowing at the corner of the alleyway where the two people now where.

"You don't seem to understand that me telling you no at work, and me telling you no now, hasn't changed anything-" The woman's fist was curled up tightly, the man in front of her holding her wrist tight enough that she couldn't pull it away, but loose enough that he wasn't trying to fully restrain her.

"I paid you double, you owe me more than a private sh- Can I help you?"

Kate tilts her head lightly, the man now looking over his shoulder expectantly while eyeing her impatiently.

Kate's eyes move between him and the woman momentarily before the woman rips her wrist from his grasp and begins walking towards Kate, and then out onto the sidewalk. Her expression was one of annoyance and frustration but her heart rate gave away how fearful she was as she picked up a quick pace down the sidewalk.

The man was stationary momentarily, the tenseness to his body obvious - ability or not.

Cursing under his breath, he begins walking in the same direction the woman had, going to pass Kate and head down the sidewalk. He intentionally knocks her shoulder with his own as he passes her, causing her to step back a hair before turning to look over her shoulder.

There were certain aspects to her ability that made things not usually visible, known to her. Certain factors helped her to anticipate behavior. Muscle tension, walking pace, expression, even smell by means of odor changes. Fear, anger, and happiness can cause chemical changes related that give off different odors. For example, when someone is afraid, they may sweat, which gives off a distinct odor she can associate accordingly.

Turning on her heel, Kate picks up her walking pace to follow the man.

~0~

A Few Hours Later…

For Tony, sleeping was something becoming harder and harder to come by. It wasn't that he had… trouble. He just had a lot of energy. And ideas and random thoughts would also hit him at odd hours of the night, thoughts he had to act on in case he forgot them in the morning.

He had promised Pepper to give the workshop a break. While he was doing that- she never said he couldn't hangout on the communal floor doing what he most likely would've done in the workshop.

"Jarvis, how's it looking?" Tony questions, the only light in the area coming off the tablet in his hands.

"Diagnostics have been run, sir. Trials are ready whenever you see fit." The AI responds.

Tony chews on his bottom lip lightly for a moment, eyes searching the screen as he looks over the image present.

It was something he had been working on as a side project. Something for Kate. With the kid being around for the foreseeable future, he figured finding something they can work on aside from her ability would be beneficial.

She was an interesting character, Tony had to admit. He usually didn't let much visibly surprise him, but she was a curious individual and he was looking forward to getting her out of her shell. There were certain moments or situations where Kate would surprise him, give someone sass or show a confidence he suspected lurked just beneath the surface - something she didn't reveal very often.

"Sir, Katelyn Sanders is about to get off the elevator."

Tony's brow knits as he looks over his shoulder, eyes meeting the closed elevator doors before he swipes the images on his tablet aside.

"Where's she coming from?"

"The lobby, sir."

"... Uh huh." Tony's lips part slightly as he processes the statement.

This wasn't the first time Jarvis had informed him. Whatever it was the kid was doing - going out at night, she seemed to be coming back alright. It wasn't his place to necessarily scold her for her actions.

The ding of the elevator finally opens and Tony doesn't acknowledge the movement of someone walking out of the space before stopping. In the following seconds, Kate goes to disappear back into the elevator.

"Goin so soon?" Tony speaks up, tapping about on the tablet screen. "You're out kind of late, kid… Three a.m.? Good thing I was down here and not your pops."

A gentle scold… a suggestive scold; not a full on scold.

"I was jus-... I wanted to get some air" Kate responds. She sounded a bit closer.

"Could've gotten some on the balcony," Tony turns and eyes the teen with an amused smirk. She appeared anxious but accepting of the situation.

"Regardless of whatever this is I am now a part of; just make sure you don't do anything rash on these little adventures you're taking." Voice laced with a hint of concern, Tony continues to eye the teen, seeing her gaze elsewhere.

"Adventures? Plural?" Despite her controlled expression, Tony can hear the amusement in her voice and gives a little chuckle before nodding to the side.

"Well you looked like a zombie this morning, and we only watched that show til around ten," Tony offers.

At his comment, Kate clenches her jaw and takes a couple steps to the side, blocking his view of her face as she crosses her arms.

Alright, m'probably pushing her a little too much.

"I won't pester you, go get some rest Kenai."

Tony may or may not have a small list of nickname ideas for the kid. Nicknames for her weren't coming as easily to him. T-1000 was the next one that came to mind but… Calling the kid a terminator wasn't appropriate. Especially now that he knows more about her. Those details… Made his skin crawl. When he looked at Katelyn, he didn't see someone capable of racking up a body count greater than two dozen.

Hearing the teen question the nickname, Tony blinks his thoughts away quickly before giving her an amused smile and a shrug - brow knitting seconds later.

"You haven't seen Brother Bear? Bah- we'll get you caught up, don't worry. For now I gotta keep thinking of some nicknames for you." Tony mumbles, eyes still on the tablet.

Preferably ones that don't label you a killing machine… Unfortunately something I don't think it too far off from what that Doctor Gordon was trying to turn you into.

Kate is silent following Tony's words, but doesn't wait too long to head towards the stairwell.

Once the door closes, Tony lets the tablet fall into his lap, brow knitting gently.

"Jarvis, I need you to scope security cameras within a five block radius. I wanna know where's she's been going and what she's been doing,"

"Will do, sir."

The rest of chapter 34 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3. Take a peak to keep reading!

Stay healthy, stay safe, sending lots of love. <3

Masterlist Here