#areacodefan has spoken

[areacodefan]

Confession & Connection Time

I know many of us are shaken to the core about the sudden death of Lisa Marie.

I read the tribute from her friend who was also a grief counselor and in it, he wrote about Lisa dedicating herself to supporting other grieving parents, including their plans to do a podcast. It inspired me to go out of my comfort zone in her honor and in honor of that commitment.

I am tremendously upset by Lisa’s death and cannot stop thinking of Priscilla and bursting into tears. Because I know what it is to lose a daughter. My only child was killed in a wreck two decades ago and I have never been the same. I almost didn’t survive it and was fully incapacitated for many, many years. In the past few years I have been coming into a promising new phase of grief and life, one that is difficult to navigate but one for which I am grateful. But any time I hear of a parent losing a child — whether it’s someone I know personally or not — it affects me tremendously. School shootings and celebrity deaths can be just as upsetting for me as for someone I know, albeit shorter lived since someone I do not know is not connected to me daily. But the universality is still there. Only other parents whose children have died know the suffering when their child is gone before them, regardless of circumstances and regardless of age.

Sadly, ironically, this is why I blurred out the letter I wrote for Elvis’s birthday when I posted it. After thanking him for his life and talent, I asked Elvis to hug my little girl for me. I think we all know he of course would do that. It’s making me cry again to write this now, imagining him scooping up my precious sweetheart (she was only 8) in his fatherly arms. I also asked him to find my mom and to tell them both I feel them with me always. As sensitive and kind as everyone is in our fandom, it felt too personal and vulnerable to share these details among a cyber community.

But here we are now. Lisa is dead. Priscilla’s heart is shattered. The family is devastated. The Elvis film family is floored. And the world is in shock. And I imagine that Austin is grieving in a strange and unique way, having come to love her as a “daughter” through his character work but also by feeling a maternal bond from her as well after they met. I acknowledge my thoughts about Austin are speculation on my part and I do not want to suggest I actually know what he is feeling. I don’t want to disrespect him with a formal assumption. Only to share that these thoughts and feelings have bubbled up for me by way of concern for his tender soul, whether or not they are accurate, and I’m sad for him, too.

Personally I must and do believe Lisa is in her father’s loving and long-awaited embrace and that she is also reunited with her beloved son. I know that I long for the day I will be with my daughter again on the same energetic plane — even though I connect to her constantly across the ethers. It was, in fact, that intense pull to be with her that made my life so precarious for so long after her death. And something I deeply understood about Lisa when she referred to how hard it was for her without Benjamin, including her intense feelings of guilt.

I decided to post this in case there are any others in the fandom who have survived a child and who need the extra support & understanding that a fellow bereaved parent shares. Also, after seeing Mel make a post about caring for ourselves and each other, and the many other anguished tributes that are showing up in my blog. Amongst the many posts I have spotted a few comments, tags, and reblogs that have the resonance of someone who knows a parent’s grief. So just in case someone else here is facing that, too, and in honor of Lisa, I decided to bare my soul.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, DM, or send me an ask. In between my own self care (which includes pacing myself on social media), I am also in ongoing recovery from a recent hospitalization, which is a factor in the amount of time I’m on tumblr right now. Otherwise I am available and at your service in compassion and solidarity.

I want to acknowledge a few of my fandom anchors @karamelcoveredolicity @ash-omalley @troubleinapinksuit @burninlovebutler @succsessions and everyone else who is posting, caring, sharing, and hurting. To any other bereaved parents, we know there are no words that adequately convey our experience. We only have the recognition and companionship of one another as fellow travelers on a journey we never, ever imagined we would be forced to take.

Love,

MJ

[slowsweetlove]

Monthly post with some of Austins' best sound bites. ABVA members feel free to message me with more suggestions.

See this post on my blog if you wanna join ABVA.

That The Sunday Times interview reminded me why I love his voice so much.

He's a soft-spoken and very articulate man that has a real passion for his craft. There's not much coverage from his 'The Iceman Cometh' days but this is a lengthy Facebook live interview that he did during the run of the play (after the play received eight Tony nominations).

This also includes his standard "This is what it means to be an actor!" of describing his theatre experience.

Also for all the hand aficionados, he does a lot of handwringing (maybe out of nervousness?) in this one and talks with his hands quite a lot.

So please enjoy this Special Voice Sunday feature.

Going through the comment section on YT this is a response I think the interviewer gave to one of the comments and I think that's a very telling response:

"He is in fact incredibly nice and genuine; he is very humble, kind and soft-spoken, and it's even more amazing in person, he has a unique energy."

Previous Special Voice Sundays:

April 2023 (Chapman University interview)

May 2023 (Carve the Mark audiobook)

June 2023 (Hollywood Insider interview for Elvis)

July 2023 (Howard Fine in conversation)

August 2023 (Marc Maron WTF Podcast)

Tagging my dear ABVA members:

@areacodefan @manic-pixie-dino-nuggies @girlnairb @klizzie93 @presleysdarling @generoustreemystic @chasingwildflowers @austinbutlermischief @arianatheangel-girl @feral-fae-writes @justafangir1 @kendralavon7 @samfangirls @kiankiwi @ellie-24 @butlerette @darlingelvis @butlersbebe @prompted-wordsmith @purejasmine @kingdom4akiss @faegoddessog @richardslady121 @austinswhitewolf

[areacodefan]

An idea:

Take a pause right now and inhale. Feel the space in the center of your chest fill up with light and love. Now exhale that light and love back into the world.

And, sure, maybe you don’t believe something that woo woo or cheesey or simple makes any real difference.

But look at it this way:

That one inhale and exhale is time spent not criticizing or hating or spreading general nastiness. If everybody paused this way even once a day, think of how much vitriol would be eliminated from the world.

Think of how your heart would get a tiny massage with that deep breath and your blood pressure might even lower a bit.

Think about how your nervous system would get a reminder that it can slow down — and that if you took a few more of those breaths, then the fight or flight could even go offline for a bit.

Imagine what it would feel like to connect for a precious moment to something other than chaos or crisis. Imagine allowing your system to rest — and to put that sensation of rest out into the world.

So why not?

Just one inhale and exhale to fill up your heart with light and to share that light with the world.

[areacodefan]

SPOILERS.

I’ll be honest. I found the finale… meh.

I’m perfectly comfortable with unfinished stories and ambiguous endings. And there were parts of the episode that were lovely and funny and fitting. Like Colin kissing his fella, Nate, and Jaime and Roy etc. But a lot of it was… meh. Especially the Ted x Rebecca story. I don’t even mind that she ended up where she did and with who. But there was SO much left unsaid. Why didn’t they get really drunk and sleep together and then discuss moving on and remaining friends? Why have that annoying tease starter only to leave everything hanging. We never saw Rebecca and Sam have a convo either.

This was a show that deserved 5 seasons — it needed them to flesh out more story. There were parts all season that were rushed and unwritten among the main characters. The women’s league, the other Bex, Henry, Sam, Dani, would have been fantastic, too. But the plug was pulled at 3 seasons and I blame the streaming services because they didn’t want to pay the residuals etc etc (see WGA strike) and consequently a show that was an utter delight and ended up with a mediocre final season and episode.

It’s a shame. It could have been Schitts Creek level fantastic. I’ll enjoy the good stuff about and move on. But it felt chaotic and inconsistent and unsatisfying and was therefore a major let down.

[areacodefan]

Being authentic, knowing who you are, allowing yourself to be real and beautiful and messy and strange and powerful and different — that will always be “in” and it will always be violating some external notion of beauty or fashion somewhere. Life is way too short and precious to leave yourself behind for the sake of some bullshit “beauty standard” being sold to you. Sure, have fun with the creativity behind fashion and cosmetics but if you’re going there, let it be an expression of YOUR creative impulses, not some desperate attempt to conform. You’re already truly gorgeous because you have the capacity to love, to forgive, to heal, to connect, to serve, to shine from your profound and powerful SOUL. I promise you… THAT is beautiful. YOU are beautiful. Dare to know that about yourself.

Love, MJ

“Thin brows are back in” “skinny jeans are back” “wolfcuts are out” “this style of eyeshadow is soo trendy right now” “big asses are out, slim figures are in”

Hey do you guys ever make your own decisions or form your own ideas on how you would personally like to look that’s not based around what’s currently being sold to you. Is that not possible

[areacodefan]

AN AREACODEFAN VM MANIFESTO

Nov. 10, 2019

The first time I saw VM skate Moulin Rouge to win the 2018 Olys, I said to myself: Wow. What an amazing couple.

I loved everything about their love and their skating. Two delightful people giving the world their excellence and joy.

I NEVER believed they were anything but a couple. I knew my belief was only that: as in not a FACT. I do not know them. I have no inside information or concrete evidence about their relationship. I’m just a fan. But it was an opinion based on what I could see and hear in their actions and words.

Since I value and trust my own perception more than that of crazy, chaos junkies, I never ever ever ever once believed the atrocious fucking rumors generated from the neurotic and/or hate mongering factions of the fandom.

And then one day... one awful day... it happened. Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue said the words. Scott was engaged to someone other than Tessa. I didn’t hear about it right away because I wasn’t on social media. So when I found out I spent about 2 hours feeling confused and sad. But I have always said if he or Tessa were actually happy with someone ELSE, then I would be happy FOR them. And I mean that.

I went to find the various interviews etc. for news about the engagement. And I saw something that realllllllllllly didn’t add up. Scott looking miserable. Tessa saying things that sounded strange. The so-called fiancé looking more like a wallflower at a high school dance than a woman in love. It wasn’t right and I didn’t buy it. As the hours and days rolled on, I became more confident that this engagement was a fake. Why do such a thing? I have my theories, none of which I care to share here (but one thing I do NOT believe is that anything is being done to shipbait or from any shipbait-adjacent motive).

As far as I’m concerned, nothing significant has changed. Nothing. They are in love and happy together.

So. I declare myself completely and unapologetically a VM Shipper of the Highest Order. This means I:

Have not, do not, and will not doubt their love and devotion to one another.

Take full responsibility for my investment in my opinion of their relationship, knowing they do not owe it to me to prove me “right.”

Enjoy the hell out of their continued on-ice antics and feel completely comfortable and happy watching them move into the next phase of their lives.

In conclusion: I SHIP THEM.

😍

PS for anyone reading this who is my friend on here: I got really sick and had no time for any fandom BS so I left tumblr for a long time. I’m not really back now. But I’m getting well and I felt like making it clear that I never stopped shipping just because I wasn’t posting on tumblr. 💜

[areacodefan]

TESSA & SCOTT, THANK YOU FOR EVERY BIT OF JOY YOU HAVE GIVEN ME, SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS.

“TRUST THE LOVE. THE LOVE IS REAL.” — areacodefan

[areacodefan]

A long time back I said this:

And now I have seen this:

https://twitter.com/scottmoir/status/1250851364663635968?s=21

So there it is.

I know there was an announcement prior to this but it was so confusing and vague. This video is not confusing or vague.

Wishing them all the best.

[areacodefan]

Ok first I’ll say that I find the good natured jokes about Austin’s appearance in D2 genuinely funny. I mean he looks… very… Harkonnen? We all know that ain’t a pretty bunch so let’s not pretend. And I’ve seen some hilarious posts from real fans so I’m all in on that humor because it’s so cringe to see this hideousness.

And I know a lot of y’all will think I’m crazy but… I think Austin as Feyd Rautha is HOT AF.

NOT because he looks good. Because I think it’s incredibly sexy that a man as beautiful as Austin could be so devoted to his craft and so free of vanity that he would be willing to look like this hideous creature on international IMAX screens. This is simply not a physically attractive character. And yet Austin DGAF.

That combination of confidence and humility is sexy as hell. He knows who he is. He’s not on screen as Austin Butler. He’s on screen as Feyd Rautha. So he’s all in and I know his portrayal is going to blow us all away. So yeah.

HOT. A. F.

Scream for me

[areacodefan]

Why some people can’t have nice things — a case study

So according to the haters, Scott Moir doesn’t display enough gratitude on social media for... his awards? His honors? His popularity?

😂

When he literally spent months out of his life after achieving legendary status to say THANK YOU to his home nation and the support he received. He and Tessa stepped back from the international spotlight enough to tour small venues with their teammates so that kids and fans who can’t make it to the big cities would have a chance to see them skate live. And in order to promote the tour spent weeks all over media (actual or social) wearing clothes that actually said thank you Canada. But some people STILL complain... because losers.

😂

Listen haters, I’m sorry you didn’t get voted to the high school student council that time or you haven’t left your basement since you got fired from your job as a serving wench at Ren Fair but here’s a news flash: it’s not Scott Moir’s fault.

[areacodefan]

If I had no other reason, I’d be so grateful these two have skated together for 21 years because of the hours and hours of content available to entertain me.

I’ve had pneumonia all month and if it weren’t for the endless fan videos and recordings on YouTube I’m about 100% sure I would have lost my damn mind by now.

So this seems like a good day to express gratitude to everyone who contributes to the fandom. I won’t name names because I don’t want to sound like a suck up but a sincere thank you to

The fans who record the competitions and exhibitions

The people who post all the interviews, especially ones from countries I can’t see

The incredible still photos from professional and amateur photographers around the world

The extensive commentary and tutorials on figure skating from people far more knowledgeable than I (today even there’s a fantastic review of various programs that’s circulating and so much fun to read)

The brilliant gif makers

The fans who make superb videos that often give me chills or move me to tears

The bloggers who curate and share so much positive content

I hope I didnt forget a category. (If so, I apologize and plead pneumonia.)

I’m very grateful for that content — and particularly in awe of the two people who have inspired all of it: Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. May everyone who calls themselves a fan do their best to live up to the admirable example they set — as people and as athletes — for professionalism, integrity, love, loyalty, hard work, humility, passion, and kindness.

And thank you to my followers who often send me friendly or funny DMs or comment on posts. You are the ones who make the fandom worthwhile. 💜

[areacodefan]

Reason #2,893 I love Tessa and Scott: I danced ballet all my young life. I considered pursuing a professional career. I mention this because my teachers were world-class caliber. I remember my first serious teacher saying to me to never pick my foot off the floor without pointing my toe. “Don’t ever let me see it. Don’t you dare.” (Add a ferocious scowl and a French accent and you would always point your toes too!!) I can’t recall ever seeing T or S fail to point their toes. I’m sure it’s happened but it’s so rare you would have to search and search and search clips. Meanwhile, some other (overscored/overhyped) teams have ridiculous habits in this area, which drives me absolutely bonkers. And having just watched my semi-monthly viewing of the atrocity that was P/C’s Olympic performances — which I do occasionally as a sort of reality check to see if my VM obsession is justified (PS it is) — I got pissed off all over again at the obscene overscoring that they enjoyed for their nice but utterly blah skates. Bottom line: if you’re going to be an ice DANCER, always point your fucking toes.

[areacodefan]

@mooodyblue I 100% support you and @vintagepresley and others on this. I follow so many fan friends on this app who write fics or ai characters or whatever and guess what…

I don’t even read fanfic.

So how can I possibly follow them?

I SCROLL PAST WHAT DOESN’T INTEREST ME.

I use filters and read/block tags and ok if that’s not enough I just unfollow.

I can tell even with this system, even scrolling past stuff, that some of it is not my cup of tea. But there is nothing wrong with it or the person who created it.

No one is coming on to MY blog and forcing ME to read it. I don’t have to read it or like it — so I don’t.

I am quietly impressed with the content creators. Even the ones I find cringey. They are CREATING. That’s amazing. I am merely scrolling.

Anon hate/bullying is the absolute most disgusting form of cowardice I see on this otherwise fabulous hellsite.

To all you “weird” writers and bloggers, keep up the good work! I won’t be reading it and I’ll be LOVING that you’re making it all.

here's the deal. i don't give a fuck whether you like what i write. i don't care if you think it's weird. i really, honest to god don't. there's a block button on this app for a reason. USE IT.

i know people think writing about elvis or austin in the ways that not only i, but a couple others on here do, is odd. but literally who the fuck CARES. why does it bother you so much? you can't just scroll past it and go on with your life?

y'all can come on this app and write worse than i do and it's okay but somehow my writing crosses the line? be fucking real.

[areacodefan]

I think it’s possible to believe that Jackie and Scott are an item and that Tessa and Scott love each other but are not together. They’re not mutually exclusive ideas. It’s pretty hard to dismiss Jackie’s presence at this point.

Thank you for this ask. Yes, it is possible to believe both those things. Of course. What is MORE rational, however, is to acknowledge the following:

NONE of us know a thing. NO ONE. Not one person in this fandom has an iota of actual proof, including myself. What we have are opinions.

We have ZERO facts to support the assumption that J was at any of these places or events for S — as his date or anything else.

The fact that J is in the same state/vicinity/photo as Scott means ONLY that J is in the same state/vicinity/photo as Scott.

We know that the person(s) who started, circulated, and now revel in these destructive rumors are mean bullies who change their story to whatever is most chaotic at the time. She’s done it before. She’ll do it again.

There is NO ACTUAL REASON that was presented in the past week for anyone to change their opinion of Scott and Tessa. Whether you ship or don’t, if you are just about the skating or want them to get married, if you’ve been a fan since 2007 or since February, if you live in Canada or a desert island, if you’re 16 or 65, THE BASELESS RUMORS AND SPECULATION UNLOADED BY THIS FANDOM’S RESIDENT TERRORIST ARE NO REASON TO ALTER YOUR OWN PERCEPTION OR OPINIONS.

When T or S make an official announcement declaring they are with and/or marrying each other or someone else, then we will know.

Repeat after me:

SPECULATION IS NOT FACT.

SPECULATION IS NOT FACT.

SPECULATION IS NOT FACT.

[areacodefan]

I have deliberately waited until now to rewatch P/C’s Olympic skates. I wanted some time to pass and I just viewed the SD and the FD again. LOOK. I’m not gonna say P/C have no talent. God knows I couldn’t do a single move any of these skaters make! But I AM gonna say that if you can’t see the gold medal difference between them and VM in edge quality, extension, complexity & performance, chemistry, expression, interpretation, skating skills, and overall expertise... well, then, you must be legally blind. I doubt even one of P/C’s lifts would be possible if not for their size difference because Gabi is like a limp rag compared to Tessa. You could drive a semi truck into the space between P/C whereas VM are tight as a drum. And don’t even talk to me about edges. Just don’t. I could go on but since I’m preaching to the choir I’ll stop there and just finish by saying: Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME and everybody knows it.

[areacodefan]

What to do when your coping mechanism stops working

So...I saw a post on this and I’ve had some DMs and chats with others related to this subject recently. So I decided to do a blog post dedicated to the topic. The truth is there comes a point always when our coping strategies stop working. Why? Because coping is not thriving and thriving is something that we yearn to do.

If you follow me you know I ship VM and watch ice dancing. You don’t know I do that and some other habits as part of a rather elaborate and important coping “matrix” in my life, which I seriously need because (like most humans) my life has many painful challenges in it. So coping strategies are great, essential even. But they only take us so far.  (Disclaimer: I’m not talking about situations where geunine addiction is involved; if your “coping” style is causing problems in other areas of your life, such as interfering with work or harming relationships, then it’s time to seek help from experienced professionals or guides.)

When your coping strategies begin to fall flat you essentially have two choices:

distract yourself with more/better escape hatches

deal with your shit

It’s sometimes a no-brainer and sometimes a tough call. Personally, whenever possible, I try to do a bit of both. In other words, I try to pace myself. Face some of my shit and then go watch some ice dancing videos. The second part is easy. The first part can be scary and confusing. If you are determined to face something

You will need to get support

You will need to be realistic

You will need to acquire/use tools

Getting support means calling a friend (a REAL friend) who isn’t going to ignore you or minimize you or push you or try to take over your process with their opinions or feelings. You need someone who can be in acceptance of what you are doing and just be gentle and kind about it. I know those people don’t fall off trees but, remember, you don’t need 20. You just need one.

Being realistic means setting a small goal -- like returning one phone call you’ve been avoiding or taking a short walk around the block to get moving. You’re not going to make real change overnight on a huge scale. The idea is to just shift a little something -- but also to understand that it’s the persistent small steps that ultimately make a major difference in long-term shifts.

Acquiring/using tools means getting hold of skills that you may not currently have (or that you’ve forgotten) for adapting behavior and/or changing attitudes.

There are so many ways to do this -- from therapy to classes to reading material. But I’ll share something now that is universally helpful to anyone at anytime in any circumstance. It’s free, it’s simple, and it’s powerful. I’m going to walk you through a short exercise in conscious breathing. This is only going to take 3 minutes MAX.

Start by turning off the TV, silencing the phone, reducing any distractions. (BTW, making the choice to do that and following through is probably going to be the most difficult part of this whole exercise.)

Now sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor. Or you can lie down.

Inhale steadily through your nose to the count of four (preferably one-one thousand, two-two thousand, etc.)

Suspend your inhale for the same four count. (Suspending the breath means don’t inhale more and don’t exhale yet. Just hang out.)

Through your nose, slowly exhale to the same count of four. Be sure to push all the breath out through the nose.

Repeat the cycle, controlling the breath throughout. Continue for 1-3 minutes.

Caution: if you are pregnant, have high blood-pressure, are prone to dizziness, or other health concerns, skip the breath suspension and do only the inhale and the exhale.

Congratulations, you just changed. Changing the breath like this changes the nervous system, including the brain chemistry.

If you can make a commitment to yourself to do this short exercise once a day for 40 days in a row, you will be amazed at the difference. This offer comes with 100% money-back guarantee if you are not completely satisfied. 😉

I hope this helps. For the record, even though I know this, I still struggle with it. It’s all part of the challenge of being human. So please comment or DM or reblog. It will help me, too.