#and all i am expected to do is just live through it?

[pepshee]

First Place

when you make a bet with your best friend—loser is forced to do what the winner wants—but his demands for you aren't exactly what you expected, but you're fully willing to comply.

Pairing - heeseung x fem!reader

Genre - friends with benefits, friends to ???, smut

Word count - 2k

Warnings - p in v, creampie, cliche, degrading (he calls reader a slut), fingering, mentions of other enha members, Mario kart mention, stripping, lmk if I missed anything!

A/N - I was gonna lowkey abandon writing but here I am.. back again... again, sorry if it's bad, and thank you to the anon in my inbox who gave me writing advice! i dont feel like using capitalization in this one so im not gonna... anyways.. enjoy! also yes im aware its kinda cliche

MDNI 18+

heeseung was always your best friend; he was always there when you needed him and vice versa. meeting him in high school was the best twist of fate ever. those four years would've ended up miserable had it been someone else.

there was a decent amount of girls after him, but that was never a bother. in fact, he was always your wingman, helping you find ways to ask out your crush without looking like a complete ditz. he had a couple of girlfriends throughout high school, but they never really lasted.

he was able to tell when you were upset and was somehow always able to pinpoint the reason. you'd never thought of him in a romantic light, although he was extremely attractive. it was like a forbidden fruit, something you were too scared to explore.

after graduation, applying to the same college as one another seemed scary. what if only one of you got in? what if neither of you got in? those worrying questions quickly disappeared when one day you both opened your results and found out you were both accepted.

he made new friends, and so did you, but one thing was that you never forgot each other. you both still regularly hung out and went to your usual coffee shops or shopping malls.

heeseung and his friends are at his dorm, and he had given you permission to come and go in his dorm without asking whenever you wanted whether he was there or not. his roommate, Jake, was hesitant about this at first, but just agreed to avoid drama, however, he grew to not mind it.

you were bored lying in your dorm room, so you got up to go to his dorm. upon walking in, you find him, his roommate, and his friends all huddled together in the living room, some on the couch, some on the floor, and the rest standing around. through a closer look, it wasn't hard to locate a couple of them, including heeseung, who were equipped with gaming controllers; they were playing video games.

one of his friends who wasn't playing hears the door opening and looks at you. you don't know his friends well, except for his roommate, but you did know their names.

the friend who saw you, jay, smirks upon noticing your presence. you didn't know the reason, but you just left it alone with a shrug of your shoulders. jay tapped heeseung—whose attention was occupied by whatever game it is that they're playing—and he replied without even looking away from the tv screen. "what is it? I'm trying to win, dude," he said. jay leaned into heeseung's ear and whispered something that you were unable to hear.

heeseung paused the game, earning him a few groans from his friends who also held controllers before turning his head to the door where you were standing. he smiled at you, "hey y/n! come here, we're all playing video games!" after walking over to him you both quickly realize there's no room on the couch for you to sit, but that problem didn't last very long. he hits his friend sitting next to him, sunghoon, not very hard but so sunghoon will know what heeseung is trying to get him to do.

sunghoon promptly got up, before you even got time to process him getting up, heeseung grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit down next to him on the couch. it wasn't hard to notice the looks and smirks his friends gave each other once he did this, but you didn't think anything of it.

"why'd you show up to my dorm this time?" he looked at you, the game still paused, but it seemed his friends were more focused on you two rather than the game now. you let out a small laugh at his comment, "i got bored so i came here, but you're already busy i see." he shakes his head, "i'm not busy, we're just playing games, now watch me win," he smirks, he's always been quite cocky but it's part of his charm.

he unpaused it and continued the competitive game with an intense focus. after a bit, the game was over, and well, heeseung didn't win, but that's not important. he throws a playful fit about losing, and after a bit, he turns to you. "hey, lets play the hardest map on mario kart and whoever loses gets to boss the loser around, but it's just us two," he grins at his own idea, hoping you accept.

he almost cheers when he sees you nod, and signals one of his friends to hand you a controller. he selects the map, and as the game starts, he's completely in the zone; he really wants to win, to have power over you.

after crossing the finish line for the final time, heeseung had won, which makes you let out a groan of disapproval. his friends all laugh as heeseung lightly pushes and teases you. "I knew you were a loser!" he teases, making you hit him on the shoulder. "knock it off, i hate you, you have more experience!" you argue back, and he just laughs.

"okay so now I get to tell you what to do," he smirks. you roll your eyes, but he suddenly shooes his friends out of his dorm while they shoot him knowing looks, and mocking kissing gestures. it's like they know something you don't, which makes you nervous. why would they leave that easily?

after they had left, heeseung shifts around in his seat and turns back to you. "so.. now I need to think about what I'm gonna make you do.. maybe me and jakes dishes? the laundry?" he says, basically talking to himself. he just sits there thinking for a moment, occasionally throwing out random ideas until his face changes, finally landing on one. "y/n, we've been friends for a long time, yeah?" you nod, waiting for him to continue. "you know.. you're really pretty, and I think I've made my decision..." your heart flutters for a second at the tone he used; he never really talked to you like this before. he's told you you're pretty, but the way he said it this time was different.

"strip for me," his tone completely serious, lacking any bit of sarcasm or signs that he's joking. your eyes go wide, and you look at him, bewildered at what he chose. "seriously? strip? hee—" he stopped you before you could finish, "I'm serious, I've always felt something towards you, this is my opportunity, I choose for you to strip," his tone lowering, you can see the desire and the hunger written in his eyes.

through your utter shock, you take a moment to think, he is attractive.. you've always thought he was. what's the harm in this? why not just do it?

you started by removing your hoodie. once he realized you were down for his demands, he couldn't look away. then you removed your shirt, followed by your pants, now just leaving you in your bra and underwear. heeseung was just sitting back, manspreading, smirking at you. he'd never seen you so exposed like this before. "so pretty, your body is so sexy," he commented, you could see the growing bulge in his grey sweatpants.

suddenly, he stood up, grabbing your wrist dragging you to his bed before promptly pushing you down onto it. he quickly crawled on top of you and smashed his lips onto yours. it was unexpected but not unwelcome as you kissed him back and moved one of your hands to bury your fingers in his hair. as the kiss continued, your grip on his hair got tighter, earning a groan from him, while one of his hands explored your thighs.

his hand made its way to the wet patch on your panties, touching you over the cotton. this caused you to let out a whine at the feeling; you wanted more, wanted him to touch you more. he clearly noticed this, "beg for it," he demanded. he clearly wasn't going to give it to you that easily even though it was his idea. "please heeseung, touch my pussy, please.." your pleas made his cock twitch in his boxers, he finally took your panties completely off, sliding them down your legs.

he ran his fingers slowly and teasingly through your already wet and slick folds. "all this for me? didn't think you loved the idea of fucking your best friend so much, you're just a slut aren't you?" his degrading words just fueled your desire for his cock even more even though it probably shouldn't.

he slowly inserted one finger into your cunt, the feeling causing a small moan to release itself from your mouth. he then added a second one and started out slowly moving his fingers in and out of your hole, but then he sped up and even curled the slightly making them hit your g-spot at just the right angle. you moaned at the pleasure that took over you as he continued to scissor his fingers inside of you. his thumb started to rub your clit further stimulating your pussy.

"heeseung im s' close—" he removed his fingers without warning, making you whine at the newfound emptiness. before you could even question, he removed his sweatpants and his shirt. you could feel the drool forming at the sight of his chest and physique, but then your eyes landed on something even more exciting, the stain on his boxers due to his leaking cock.

he removed his boxers next, his large cock springing out, the sight of it made your eyes widen. how would he even fit? "it'll fit baby, don't worry, I'll make it fit," he said almost as if he had read your mind. he ran the tip of his cock through your slick folds and gave himself a couple strokes before finally lining himself up with your entrance. "i'm gonna fuck this pussy so good you hear me?"

he was so eager he didn't even go slow this time; he immediately rammed himself into you, enjoying the sight of the slight bulge he created on your stomach. he pulled out almost fully before thrusting back in, he repeated this process, making you a moaning mess. it was hard to tell where one of you started and where the other ended, "seungie- p-please.. keep going," you begged him, and he listened. he wasn't going to stop until you both came. you could feel his tip grazing your cervix, his cock stretching your pussy so good. you'd had sex before, but you could already tell heeseung is the best you'll ever get.

"come on baby, i know you're close, you like this don't you? like being my little slut," he was right, you did like it, you were close, he knew how to read you like an open book. "gonna cum—" is all you could manage to get out as the pleasure took over you making it almost impossible to form coherent sentences. not long after your words you let go, your release painting his cock forming a white ring at his base as he continued his thrusts chasing his own orgasm. "hold on love, i'm almost there, you can take it," he encouraged. his thrusts started to grow sloppy; he was close. finally, he came, his release painting the inside of your gummy walls. you'd never had anyone cum in you, you'd always had them pull out, but heeseung was different. you wanted him to cum in you.

he rolled off of you, now lying beside you as he brushed a sweaty strand of your hair out of your face. he looked at your bra still covering your tits, he leaned in to your ear and whispered "next time, I'm gonna fuck these pretty tits. I was so caught up with your pussy your poor boobs didn't get any love," he said almost sounding genuinely upset and sympathetic for them.

you wanted to ask what you two were now, but a pang of fear hit you; you were scared of his answer, so you decided to stay silent. you wanted to stay awake, but exhaustion was catching up. no matter how hard you tried to fight it, you couldn't. you finally closed your eyes and fell asleep, heseung followed soon after.

i hope you all liked it!! i'm not too confident about this one but yk.. anyways, this is only like the 4th evber fic ive ever written..... im aware its kinda fast paced, i did rush it oops....

[lightseoul]

WARD OFF (THIS LONELINESS) (23.3k)

pairing. k. bakugou x reader

synopsis. love comes when you least expect it. or, in bakugou’s case, when he’s unceremoniously dumped into the psychiatric ward. (or: in which bakugou finds himself haunted by his war-torn past, rancid nightmares, and the pretty face of this girl he meets inside)

c.w. fem!reader, pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (21 yrs old), minor manga spoilers (read at your own risk), lots of cussing (bkg-typical), graphic depictions of the ward setting, discussions of ptsd & insomnia, mentions of depression, anxiety, & suicidality, nsfw/mature themes, just a whole lotta emotions :,)

a/n. before anything else, i would like to thank my lovely therapist for saying the right words to me a little over a week ago that spurred me to finally get started on this fic idea, which, funnily enough, i ended up working on around the 2nd anniversary of my ward admission. this fic is—quite obviously—very personal to me, as i had to dig through the deep recesses of my mind and pluck out memories i didn’t even know still existed to conjure this into fruition. i worked very hard on this, mainly because i felt like it was important for me to write about this particular experience that not many have to go through, so that those who don’t somehow get an accurate glimpse of what actually happens behind the locked doors. and, perhaps—maybe—even feel empathy for those who do get admitted, you know? but also because i think this was a great opportunity for me to process the experience, which, as you’ll later find out by reading the fic, is exceptionally multi-layered and complex, and absolutely not emotionally charged :,) just a few disclaimers, though: firstly, i am /not/ a mental health professional. i am simply a psych major on an indefinite leave from college because of my severe depression, which also happened to put me in the psychiatric ward, equipping me with the lived experiences and thereby allowing me to write this fic. moreover, the ward experience depicted in this fic was purely based on my experience, and it is highly likely that many do not share my experience or my sentiments. lastly, i do not have war-induced ptsd nor do i have insomnia, but i did as much research as i could to portray it properly. still, if i missed anything, or if i made a mistake, i’d appreciate feedback, as long as you give it kindly and constructively. that’s about it. i sincerely, truly hope you enjoy this one. all the love <3

link. ao3 (you can only read it here. apparently this fic is too long for tumblr rip)

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!

tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @touyas-moon @napbatata @k0z3me @h0ngh0ngh0ng @honeyoru @yoongiwithglasses @hellokitty-doll @lilsebnem @tetsuukuroo @crangrapel0ver @syrhra @qyuin @lotusstarr @akiii143 @eternallyshifting

[fandomfablesunleashed]

Threads of Us

Zayne x reader

Summary: After a heated argument about Zayne’s constant overworking, hurtful words are exchanged, but the tension eventually gives way to heartfelt reconciliation and a deeper understanding between him and the reader.

Words: 2.1k

Notes: This was requested:

I really want to read some good hurt/comfort between reader and Zayne. I feel like they would argue about him working all the time (since he's a doctor) and some hurtful stuff would be said, but they would work it out later.

I had to give it a go. Turned even longer than I originally expected.

Really hope you like it, anon! 😊

English is not my first language

Masterlist

You slammed the cabinet shut, a little harder than you intended, the harsh crack of wood against metal punctuating through the silence. The plates rattled, but you didn’t care. He was late. Again. Another cold dinner, left to sit untouched, another evening spent alone in this empty apartment. 

Then, the faintest echo of the front door clicking shut, signaling Zayne’s return. He slipped in like a ghost, and given how little you’d seen him lately, he might as well have been one.

“You’re late.”

The words weren’t loud, but they cut, sharp and direct. You didn’t need to raise your voice. You didn’t even need to look at him. You could already picture him, the lines beneath his eyes deeper than yesterday. He'd have the perfect, reasonable explanation. One that, no matter how sincere, would do little to erase the distance between you.

Zayne exhaled, slow, and tired. “I got caught in surgery. I couldn’t just walk out.”

“I’m not asking you to walk out of an OR,” you snapped, spinning to face him. “I’m asking you to show up for me once in a while. Is that really so much to ask?”

Silence. Then he muttered, “You knew what I did when you got involved with me.”

The words hit harder than they should’ve. “Right,” you said, your voice cracking, brittle like glass on the edge of shattering. “So this is just… how it is now? Me eating dinner alone and you coming home when I’m already in bed?”

“I save lives.” His tone was icy now. Defensive. “I don’t get the luxury of clocking out at five.”

“And I don’t get the luxury of having you, do I?”

The room went quiet. Too quiet. Your chest ached.

Zayne looked away first, his gaze fading, as if the weight of the words had already broken something inside him.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, his voice tight with frustration. “Abandon my patients? Just walk away so you’re not lonely for a few hours?”

“You don’t even see it, do you?” Your voice trembled, fury and heartbreak colliding in your chest. “You come home like this is some hotel, and I’m just here. Waiting around like some goddamn afterthought.”

Zayne didn’t answer. He just muttered, “I’m not doing this right now,” and brushed past you, already halfway gone.

“No, of course you’re not,” you shot back. “You never do it. You bury yourself in work, like it’s some shield, and then look at me like I’m the one being unreasonable for needing more than the five exhausted minutes you toss at me in between your work and sleep.”

He stopped. Turned. His eyes were dark, hard. Nothing you have seen before. “This is who I am,” he said, each word clipped and controlled, just like him. “I can’t shut it off. People die if I don’t show up.”

“And I die a little every time you don’t show up for me!” you screamed, the words ripping out of you like they’d been waiting in your chest for months.

That landed. You saw it—something splintering behind his eyes, a crack in his perfectly maintained composure. But he didn’t speak.

You stared at him, chest heaving, eyes burning. “I don’t want to be in love with a man who only shows up when it’s already too late.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

And then, without a word, he turned and walked out of the room.

The bathroom door clicked shut behind him, a quiet sound that felt impossibly loud. Zayne braced both hands on the edge of the sink, head bowed, chest tight. The silence in here was different. It echoed off the tiles, coiled around his ribs, pressing in like guilt had found a body and wrapped itself around his.

He looked up slowly, eyes dragging to the mirror, and met his reflection.

Red-rimmed eyes stared back. A jawline shadowed with more than just a five o'clock stubble—exhaustion had carved itself into every feature. This was the face of someone who once knew how to balance life and love. Someone who used to come home to you and mean it.

Now?

Now, he barely recognized the man staring back at him.

Your words looped in his head:

“I die a little every time you don’t show up for me”

Zayne squeezed his eyes shut.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care. God, he cared so much it hurt. But he didn’t know how to fix it. The hospital needed him. His patients needed him. You needed him.

That’s where everything started to unravel. Because in trying to be everything for everyone, he was slowly becoming nothing to you.

He exhaled, shaky and uneven, and pressed his knuckles to his mouth as if he could shove the emotion back down. His shoulders trembled—just once—but he caught it before it could become something more. He couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not now. Not ever.

But maybe…

Maybe that was the problem.

He needed you. Not in the casual, passing way people say it. He needed you. He needed the way you looked at him like he was still human, even on the days he forgot how to be one.

But even he knew that needing someone wasn’t the same as choosing them.

He had to choose you. Over the hospital. Over his fear. Over everything. 

Like you deserved.

You sat down on the edge of the couch, but your body didn’t really settle. Your leg bounced. Your fingers twisted in your sleeves. The apartment felt even empty now.

Like you were.

You could hear the distant creak of the bathroom door closing, and somehow that made it worse. You hadn’t meant to explode. Not like that. But the words had come out like a dam breaking. Loud and messy and soaked in things you hadn’t said until they’d turned sharp. Too sharp.

He’d looked so tired. Soul-tired. Like the weight of responsibilities he carried had seeped into his bones and made a home there.

And you hated it. Hated that even now, with all that weariness etched into him and knowing that he did not mean to hurt you in any way, part of you still wanted to scream. That stubborn, aching piece of your heart that hadn’t gone silent, that still burned with resentment and unmet needs.

It hadn’t shut up. Not even now. Not even when you wished it would.

“You knew what you were signing up for.”

But that didn’t make it hurt any less. And it didn’t change the truth. You still wanted more. Needed more. More of him, not just the fragments he handed you after the world had already taken the best parts. More than what was left over at the end of his too-long, too-heavy days.

Your anger had flared like a match—burning fast and bright—but guilt was the slow smoke that lingered. Thick and choking.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if you could hold the pieces together, as if that would calm the pounding in your chest. It felt so unfair. Wanting something so simple. His presence, his time, his attention and yet knowing the cost of it. Knowing that every moment you asked for was a moment he might not give to someone who needed him to save their life.

 And still, the ache didn’t go away.

Because even if it made you feel selfish, even if the guilt tangled with your longing, you couldn’t stop needing more.

You closed your eyes.

“I don’t want to be in love with a man who only shows up when it’s already too late.”

God. That wasn’t acceptable. That was cruel.

Because he was trying, wasn’t he? Showing up when he could. Leaving pieces of himself in that hospital day after day, then dragging what was left of him back home to you.

You sighed, hands running down your face, ashamed of the heat that had filled your voice earlier. Ashamed that you’d made him feel like the villain when he wasn’t. Not really.

And now he was in the bathroom, probably thinking he’d failed you in every way that mattered.

You didn’t know how to fix this. But you knew you couldn’t just sit out here and pretend silence would do it for you.

You stood up. Took a breath.

Then you padded slowly toward the bathroom door—heart in your throat, guilt in your chest, love still burning underneath it all.

You raised your hand to knock.

You paused with your hand just inches from the bathroom door.

A moment passed. Then two.

You almost turned back. Almost convinced yourself it could wait until morning. But then the door opened.

And there he was, caught mid-step, about to leave. He froze when he saw you standing there. Surprise danced across his face, quickly swallowed by something heavier.

He didn’t speak. Just looked at you.

And in that look was everything he hadn’t said—exhaustion, overwhelming and raw; apology, quiet and aching; and something else, too. Something that looked an awful lot like fear.

Fear that he was losing you.

Fear that maybe he already had.

Your heart cracked.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered before he could say a word. “What I said… I didn’t mean it like that. I just… God, I miss you. And I hate how much I miss you even when you're right here.”

He let out a shaky breath. His head dropped.

“I know,” he said, voice hoarse. “I know you miss me. I miss you too. More than you probably think.” Then softer, almost broken: “I’m scared I’m becoming someone who doesn’t deserve you.”

You reached for him.

“No,” you said, fierce through the tears in your eyes. “You’re not. Zayne, you’re not a bad person for doing what you do. I just… some days, I don’t know how to live in the space between needing you and not wanting to take anything from you.”

“I want to give it,” he said. His voice cracked. So unlike him. “I just don’t know how to be enough for everyone. And I think the one person I keep failing the most is you.”

Your breath hitched. His forehead touched yours, and his hands trembled as they found your waist, pulling you close like he was afraid you’d slip away mid-sentence.

“I don’t want you to carry this alone,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “But I also don’t want to lose me in the process of waiting for scraps.”

“I don’t want to give you scraps,” he said, and you felt the warm drops of tears hit your cheek.

You pressed your forehead harder against his, arms around him like an anchor, like you could tether both of you to this one fragile moment. This tranquil, broken, desperate moment felt like the beginning of something healing.

“I’ll do better,” he murmured, the words gentle but certain, like a vow spoken not just to you but to himself. “Not just try—do.”

“I’ll meet you there,” you said, pulling him into a full embrace. His arms wrapped around you tight, like he needed the reassurance just as much as you did.

For the first time in a long time, the silence didn’t hurt.

It was subtle at first. Little things. Small changes you both made, like the way he stopped checking his phone every ten seconds when he walked through the door, or how you started planning actual plans instead of just waiting for him to show up.

Weeks later, things were different.

Tonight, it was a Friday. Zayne was finally off for the weekend, and in what felt like forever, there was no rushed goodbye, no half-eaten dinner cooling on the table. Just the two of you, curled up on the couch, the gentle hum of your favorite playlist filling the space.

“I didn’t realize how much I was missing,” he said, each word chosen with care. “How much I was losing until it almost slipped away. You. Us.”

You shifted, turning toward him so you could see his face, the sincerity in his eyes mirroring your own. “I’m sorry for the way I acted,” you responded. “I know it wasn’t all on you. I was angry because I needed more, but I wasn’t giving you space to show up for me, not really.”

Zayne shook his head slowly, his fingers finding yours, threading through them like muscle memory. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

 “You had every right to be angry. I wasn’t showing up. I was too busy being a doctor that I forgot how to be… well, me. How to be the person you needed.”

You leaned in, your forehead almost touching his, voice barely above a whisper, but the truth behind it was eternal, carved deep into the very core of you.

“You are always what I need.”

[outtamynoggin]

Love your dick incorrect quotes 😭💞💞I feel so happy reading them btw how doo u think the batfam would react to seeing alot of pictures of dick in the Wayne mannor (b had this big ass painting of dick in the middle in the hq show and in an old comic there was a wall sized portrait of those two XD

Thank you so much!!

Batman #13

This one right? There's a few others too!

Is this the one about the HQ? From the Harley Quinn show. oh wait hq stands for Harley Quinn 🤣🤣🔫

Either way, I love how Dick Bruce's obsession with Dick is just so constant across media and across decades. DC is literally honing in on him being favorite.

The show is literally unhinged:

Bruce, what? Can you say it in any other words???

Actually in the show, Damian sees the one when they're all dining because he's gaming on the couch and he's so chill about it. Like he just expects it.

Damian: Of course, there's a photo of Richard on the wall. He is the favorite. It is only right that father commissioned a Renaissance-scale shrine for him.

Meanwhile Jason is like: What am I, chopped liver?

While Tim's like: You're actually more like burnt liver.

Tim: *ducks as a whole friggin couch goes sailing over his head. Stands up smirking only to get tackled by a hulking mass of undead muscle*

Damian: At least Todd has a picture on the wall.

Tim: *Pool noodling his way out of Jason's grasp* That's cause he thought both of them were dead which is why he has the pictures up. Only Dick's is the size of a cathedral alter like Bruce commissioned it from the Vatican which he then framed in solid gold. You don’t hang something like that unless you expect people to pray to it. Jason's got shoved into a tiny corner at the bottom.

Jason: *throwing his hands up* CAN I WIN JUST ONCE IN THIS HOUSE?!

Tim: Are you Dick?

Damian: *smirking* No.

Tim: Then no.

Jason: You little twerps. I'm gonna string you two up and throw you out the batplane.

Stephanie: *walking in* Who's throwing who out of a batplane?

Tim: *scoffing* Jason's throwing me and batbrat out of the batplane.

Stephanie: Oooh! Sounds fun, can I join?! I'll bring the ropes!

Tim: You're not even going to ask why???!

Stephanie: *deadpan* Tim. I don't need a reason to throw you out of the batplane.

Tim: *Offended*

Jason: *Laughing and high-fiving her* God you get me.

Stephanie: But for curiosity's sake-

Damian: For the sake of curiosity-

Stephanie: -Why?

Damian: Todd is emotionally compromised over Father's unrelenting favoritism toward Richard.

Stephanie: Oh. Well, duh. Everyone likes Dick more.

Tim: Facts.

Stephanie: That's Batfam Lore™. What brought it on this time though?

Tim: We were talking about the massive picture Bruce has in the dining room. 

Stephanie: Oh my fudge cake gods. That Picture! Do you know how hard it is to eat even a cheese stick while being stared down by a thirty-foot tall Dick Grayson?! Like, what is wrong with Bruce! I’m pretty sure the reason Dick doesn’t visit the manor anymore is because he’s too weirded out by a bigger version own self staring at him. 

Jason: THANK YOU. Someone with a decent sense of propriety. And why the hell is it life-sized?

Stephanie: Barbara loves it, though. She thinks it's hot. Calls it "Big Dick Energy: Collector’s Edition." But she and Bruce are weird about him.

Tim: *muttering* I think it’s nice.

*Silence.*

Stephanie, Jason, and Damian: *Collectively side-eyeing him*

Stephanie: Right.... You were always weird about him too.

Tim: Wha- I was perfectly normal!

Damian: Drake. You once stood in front of the living room one for six hours straight.

Jason: Ye- six hours? Really?

Damian: He did not eat. He did not move. Father thought he was stuck in a time loop.

Jason: *Turning a disbelieving gaze on Tim* Dude....

Tim: *Flushing* I was just… observing! Deep observation! For art appreciation!

Stephanie: It’s not the fucking Louvre, Tim. That picture has been there through 7 kids and it's going to be there for at least 7 kids. But really, does Bruce have to have so many pictures of Dick?

Jason: *Rolling his eyes* Tell me about it. Don't forget the life-sized one in the library. I went in to read and accidentally ended up having a staring contest with a 2D Dick. Lost both my dignity and the will to finish my book.

Jason: *Gesturing wildly* You can’t eat in peace, can’t read in peace—hell, I tried to take a nap on the couch once and woke up face-to-face with a mantlepiece-sized Dick smile. I thought I died and went to Grayson Heaven.

Damian: Also the framed photos of him littering Father's study so he can stare at them while he works. I'm inundated with his visage every few rooms.

Stephanie: I bet even Alfred’s like, "Sir, perhaps a fourth room of paintings is excessive."

Tim: He’d never say that. Alfred’s part of the cult.

Damian: *Nodding* Pennyworth once wiped dust off the frame and whispered, "Good as new, Master Richard."

Jason: *voice cracking* Okay, you know what? I can’t do this anymore. I’m moving to Crime Alley. At least there, there’s no Dick—

Stephanie: There’s literally a Nightwing mural spray-painted across an entire wall with the word "Hope" like Gotham’s Beyoncé.

Jason: *crying* Fuck. Exactly. EVEN THERE I CAN'T ESCAPE HIM.

Damian: *judging him* This is a personal failing.

Jason: *frothing at the mouth* No, you would think that, wouldn't you? You’re the last person who should talk! You get all misty-eyed and say "We were the best, Grayson" every time Dick breathes near you!

Damian: *smirking* That is because it’s true.

Jason: *Collapsing on the coach and trying to avoid looking at the framed picture Dick on the side table* ....I can't believe I'm saying this... but thank you for being the normal one, Steph.

Stephanie: *Laughing nervously* Uh, yeah. Sure! No problem!

Tim: *Rolling his eyes* You're thanking the wrong girl. She-

Stephanie: *Wacking him unconscious hurriedly* SO! Who wants waffles!!

[neunnnnnnn]

An Update!

This has gotten a lot more attention than I expected to the point where non shifters are also literally blowing up my inbox 😭 ( yes I'm ignoring them)

Anyways to answer the majority of the common questions I'm getting....

1. Did you feel any pain?

No I did not feel any pain. Yes I felt the bullet pierce my forehead but It felt blunt and I didn't even have time to feel anything before all I could see was darkness.

2. How long do you think you stayed in the void.

Time is an illusion, so I can't really tell it might have been 2 seconds or years if you may, all I know is that I was floating and felt like me and the universe are one , there was no separation, no difference it just felt like I was the universe ( it's a feeling I honestly can't explain 😭)

3. Do we shift realities when we die

This is my opinion!! But yes I do believe we do whether that's consciously or unconsciously. I also don't believe that we actually die, since I astral project often I've had the chance to meet up with my late great grandmother who told me that she choose to reincarnate back to earth (but not on this timeline) something about wanting to achieve something, she also told me that I exist in that time although I am completely different. There are infinite timelines out there so dying doesn't really make sense to me tbh.

4. Will you go back to your fame reality.

😂That's a definite no ( unless I accidentally shift there) I'm still traumatised by it and try not to think how my s/o might be doing. And I'm taking it as a sign. A lot of unscripted shit were happening before that incident. And I got to live the life that I wanted.... So now we move on...

5. Why did you shift to your K-pop reality has anything changed in your cr?

Me shifting to my K-pop reality might have been my subconscious, I'm not sure why but I'm guessing I went to a reality that's similar to my 80s fame reality. And no nothing significantly big has happened in my cr.

6. If I script out death, will it still happen and should you have just scripted you can't die?

If you script out death then yes ofc it won't happen. I only script that I can't die if I am in an intense dr otherwise I won't because to me it defeats the purpose of being human. Yes I know we are literally the universe but I personally want to go through death. The reason I was traumatised was because it happened unexpectedly and tense, the last feeling I felt was pure panic, I was scared to death because I thought that I wasn't going to wake up in this reality.

These are some of the common questions I've been getting. And yes I'm okay thanks to all that asked 😭🩷

I respect people's believes. Just don't come in my asks saying that I'm wrong or whatever.

Your beliefs and religion should be YOUR truth not THE truth .

Experiencing death in your dr

This was absolutely very weird and I can't even explain how I felt at this moment....

I was in my fame reality and everything was going as how life would usually go. I was in a restaurant with my s/o and we were having a date night together and enjoying the view from the window we were sitted at, then suddenly we hear commotion and my s/o gets up and tells me that he thinks something is wrong we need to go, that's when the gun fire started so my bodyguards came to me and were leading both of us out that's when I see a masked person pointing a gun at me and firing it, the bullet hit my forehead head like I could feel it pierce it and then there was a ringing sound... Then darkness... It felt like I was in the void.... Like I was everything and everything was me...

My eyes open and I find myself in a room and guess what room was that?

My room in my K-pop reality. I felt like I was being yanked up and I opened my eyes to my members looking at me like I'm some kind of drug addict. I didn't even have the sike or energy to stay there so I said the safeword and woke up here to my friend telling me that her boyfriend cheated on her.

This made me realise that maybe we don't die at all and that has quited all the insecurities that I had around death.

It was weird, it was creepy and it happened so fast.....but I guess that means that we are immortal?🤷🏽‍♀️

~ No I didn't script this, why the hell would I even!!?!

[memepocalypse]

Talk To Me Like An Adult

For those relationships where you have to deal with lifelong expectations, families, partners etc.

"I'm never going to be all the things you want me to be."

"I just want you to be happy..."

"I don't want you waking up one morning sad about the choices you made."

"I have to live my own life."

"Despite my flaws, I'm basically an honest, decent person."

"Can't you just love me for that?"

"I already love you."

"Can you forgive me?"

"You go through life not thinking."

"When are you going to grow up and accept some responsibility?"

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'm going to throw you out."

"You have to let me find my own place in the world."

"There's nothing wrong with the person I am."

"Yeah, it's taking me a little time to figure myself out."

"No matter who you are, I'll always love you."

"I know that you want to do right by me."

"You need to apologise and beg for forgiveness."

"I wouldn't hurt you for the world."

"I'm all ready to go."

"I want there to be something out there for me."

"I don't want forget about it, I don't want to forget about you."

"I'm not a perfect angel, I make mistakes."

"I want you to know that you're special."

"I don't want to be special or perfect, I just want to be a person."

"We need to be able to talk about things like this!"

"Sometimes I need to remember you as you were, not as you are."

"Of course I love you, but you're still who you were before."

"When did you go? When did you learn that?"

"You call me, the moment you get there."

"Every other week, like I promised."

[codthefishgod]

Analysis post for episode 83 of Faroff, AKA Truth: Part 2

Split below for spoilers!

I am VERY sorry that this is late LMAO, this is probably one of my longest analysis posts so far and I haven't read through it all again yet so I hope it makes sense--knowing me I probably forgot something. 💀

Okay, unfortunately I did skip last episode's analysis post (I've been in a crappy place recently, I'm recovering more now though), BUT I'm BACK and THANK FUCK BECAUSE HOLY CRAP THIS EPISODE WAS JUICY-

First off, Tobias getting really and properly angry for the first time? Tobias in general seems to make a point of never showing ANY extreme emotions, happy or sad or otherwise. He's usually in a state of neutrality, and there have only been a handful of times where he's done otherwise (example of one of these times below.)

Fun fact, when I first saw this panel it was because someone on Instagram had it as their profile picture (they had it before the episode came out to non-Patreon subscribers), and I genuinely didn't think it was real (as in a canon panel) because I didn't think Tobias would show that much emotion until I actually saw the episode myself!

This is yet another way that he's the polar opposite of Fenn, considering Fenn is almost always showing extreme emotions and it's when he's calm that's odd for him.

Obviously this isn't because Tobias doesn't experience extreme emotions, but because it was dangerous to express any sort of vulnerability when he lived with his family. It's become ingrained in his behaviour.

So.

Him being genuinely, seriously, all out PISSED for the first time in Faroff history. Occurring at the same time as him being truly vulnerable about his past for the first time. It's no wonder that he has a lot of pent up anger about his past, considering everything, but what IS interesting is how it's manifesting, considering Tobias has never really directly spoken about his feelings towards his family on screen.

Most of his anger doesn't seem to be directed at his family for treating him badly, but at himself for not meeting their expectations.

He blames himself for them not showing him any love or attention. And he also seems to believe that maybe, just maybe, if he does the right thing or is in a bad enough situation, there's still a chance for them to accept him.

There's this panel to show that, not to mention that I've thought for a while that this is the reason behind why he's looking forward to going back to Vaylin (not so much since the Edward announcement but 😬.) I think he thinks that if he just does what they want for long enough, or at least stays out of their way, they'll care about him. If he fulfills this imaginary role he thinks he's supposed to, they'd love him. Of course, we know this to be untrue--just look at Edward--but one of Tobias' main motivations throughout this series has been shown to be the desire to be loved. And when all he's ever been taught is that usefulness = love, of course he's going to gauge everything by that.

Speaking of this panel specifically, this is actually kind of news to me, considering I've suspected for a long time that Tobias purposely failed out. Turns out that's not the case. He is genuinely, seriously, horribly bad at being a soldier.

Which brings me into my next point.

Fenn being forced to consider a new type of worth.

Throughout this series, Fenn has shown several times that he values himself entirely (or at least mostly) by how good a soldier he is. To him, that is All That Matters--serving your country and doing it well. Tobias has always acted as if he thought this was dumb, but it's being revealed to us now, that NO--Tobias was ALSO brainwashed for as long as he's been alive (though in a different way), and he ALSO values himself by how good a soldier he is. He's just a lot better at hiding that fact.

And this isn't a situation where Tobias actually is good at it and is just being hard on himself. He's the real deal. He fucking sucks at being a soldier.

But we also know that Fenn doesn't think Tobias is useless. We know Fenn values him. And Fenn knows that too. So he will be forced to confront this--that maybe being a soldier ISN'T all that matters, and there's more than one way a person can be important and worthy of love. Not only for Tobi, but for himself.

Continuing on the note of Fenn...

This also tells us some new information. What Fenn says about Tobias has a much bigger impact on him than previously thought. Similar to what I was talking about earlier, Tobias has always acted like Fenn's insults don't mean anything to him. But Tobias bringing up what Fenn has said about him in the past tells us something different--they DO hurt him.

I'll admit that I've seen the similarities in how Fenn (particularly early Fenn) sometimes talks to Tobias and how Tobias' family talked to him. But it's never been exactly clear how much this affects Tobias. It seems that he's been internalising at least some of the stuff Fenn says to him.

Now this is a dark take on this whole situation, but. Abuse victims are more likely to end up in abusive relationships because they're used to abusive dynamics, and may even see normal/healthy relationships as uncomfortable. I am NOT saying Fenn is abusive--he has his own reasons for acting the way he did, many of which are completely understandable from his perspective, though misguided. I AM saying that Tobias has acted uneasy and/or confused in the past when Fenn has acted in a way that contradicted his family's abuse (telling him his art is great, that his ideas are worth listening to, etc.)

This is part of why I think Fenn and Tobias aren't quite ready to be in a romantic relationship yet. There is a certain number of things that Fenn can show Tobias through treating him right, but Tobias shouldn't be dependent on Fenn to know what he deserves and what he's worth. And he should know what sort of treatment isn't okay. He should be able to tell Fenn if something he says hurts him.

Fenn would never hurt Tobias on purpose, but things happen when a person is prone to not speaking out for themselves. Tobias needs to have more character development so they can both have a more healthy relationship in the long run.

...Alright. Moving on.

Minor detail but it was confirmed that Tobias kept his identity a secret because he was afraid of Fenn reacting badly to it. I think most of us suspected that, though.

On a MUCH more positive note, we're about to get into Fenn's reaction!!!

In the past, Fenn has usually only helped Tobias when he's making an excuse for why it's okay, or when he's put their circumstances out of his mind and is refusing to think about them. For example, Fenn cooking for Tobias in the beginning and making the excuse that it's unfair if he's better fed than Tobias, or Fenn pretending that he and Tobias aren't enemies when they were slow dancing together.

But this time, there were no excuses. If he was following the law, he would report him. There was no ignoring their situation or putting it out of his mind. Hell, even Tobias himself threw it right in front of Fenn.

And yet he still chose to help him. I don't know if this development will continue as strongly after this episode--after all, Fenn tends to have a slight development regression after major steps in their relationship--but to me this is showing that he's at least getting closer to not needing some sort of excuse to justify him caring about Tobias. He's getting closer to being able to admit to himself that even if he didn't "have" to interact with him, he would still want to. And he's getting closer to being at a point where he would readily pick Tobias over Sona.

Not only that, but something else was missing as well.

You might've noticed that Fenn sometimes shakes before making a decision that'll bring him closer to Tobi. [Examples below]

I think it signifies internal conflict and struggling with making the decision.

He didn't do it this time, which to me means that this was not a difficult decision to make for him.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that Fenn called Tobias TOBI for the first time!!!

The way this went is quite vastly different from the way the first time Fenn called Tobias "Tobias" went. When that happened, as we remember, it was quite....DRAMATIC. Fenn basically regretted his decision almost immediately and flipped his shit.

But this time around, it was actually a very natural delivery. There was not nearly as much fanfare around it, and so far Fenn is not having the same sort of negative reaction as he did to calling Tobias "Tobias" for the first time. This makes a lot of sense to me, because the two names mark significantly different steps in their relationship.

Calling Tobias "Tobias" was the first proper break into "MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE he isn't the scum of the earth." Fenn reacted very dramatically to it because he had only just accepted that a truce between them was possible and was still deep in Vaylinians-are-inherently-evil-ville. He saw it as himself slipping up and I don't think he even really understood why he chose to do it the first time.

Calling Tobias "Tobi" for the first time, though? Definitely past the "maybe he isn't a bad person" mark. They already have a sort of relationship at this point, unlike the first situation where their "relationship" was basically them just shouting at and insulting each other. Calling Tobias "Tobi" is almost... A term of acceptance to me, if that makes sense? As in, "I'm NOT just doing this because we have a truce, or because I just feel guilty, but because I care about you and you specifically." There is no real excuse for him calling Tobias "Tobi." The only explanation is that he wants to, because he cares about him. It's calmer because it's accepting that. It was deliberate.

They also represent different things. I've talked in the past before about how Fenn says "Vaylinian" when he sees Tobias principally as an enemy, and "Tobias" when he sees Tobias as a real person. I think "Tobi" is not only seeing Tobias as a real person, but as an important person. A good person.

I also think "Tobi" is the signifier that Fenn and Tobias are officially friends now. Before, they always felt like they were this weird in between. Not friends, but not really enemies either. Now I think we've crossed the line into friendship.

And, though I may be wrong about this, I don't think Fenn will be calling Tobias "Vaylinian" at all after this episode. I just don't think Fenn will see Tobias in that way anymore, and now that he knows that Tobias has such low self esteem, I feel he wouldn't want to contribute to it.

Actually, I think this change may be one of the most permanent ones, purely because I don't think Fenn could bring himself to be mean to Tobias again knowing everything that he already thinks of himself. Tobias already thinks that he's useless, that he's a bad soldier, that he's a failure, that he's not someone worthy of love or friendship. Fenn is too good hearted a person to encourage thoughts like that. He can't just change his mind and go all "oh actually I hate you again," he has to think more about how what he does and says actually affects Tobias, and I think he'll become more considerate as a result. I even think Fenn will become more forthcoming about initiating physical contact and other positive interactions. (Speaking of physical contact, this isn't the first time they've hugged, but it's the first time Fenn has hugged Tobias and the first time they've both been an active part of a hug. The other time was kinda just Tobi hugging Fenn and Fenn being too in shock to respond LMAO.)

Overall, I think they're both going to be closer as a result of this interaction. This is the first time Tobias has been truly vulnerable with Fenn, and this is a great sign that the trust in their relationship won't be so one sided anymore (I do believe Fenn has trusted Tobias more than Tobias has trusted him on an emotional level.) Fenn's reaction was VERY important, especially considering Tobi's main reason for not telling Fenn about this was in fear of his reaction. It's proving Tobi's fears wrong and assuring him that it IS safe to tell Fenn about these sorts of things. This is INCREDIBLY important if we want Tobias to get some proper character development. I've always said that I don't think Tobias could get real character development until Fenn got his, and I think this proves that. This is the starting point of Tobias' development arc, and it would've never happened if Fenn hadn't gotten the development he needed to react the way he did. Tobias needs a safe person that he's never really had before, and it's starting to show that Fenn can be that for him, so he can begin to confront his past and realise he deserves better. Fenn's influence especially will probably help him accept the idea that he might not be in the wrong. :)

(I also think the more they both grow away from the people and forces that brainwashed them, the more receptive they'll probably become to the idea of trying to avoid being sent back to their home countries. Escape arc when? 👁)

Thanks for reading!

[charcubed]

I watched Sinners in IMAX a few days ago.

I saw it after a long work day and basically had a religious experience.

My friend and I talked about it in the parking lot for an hour, and then I got home at 11:30pm and fell asleep with my phone in my hand at 1AM while writing down my thoughts about it in a doc (at the request of another friend). I took a half day off of work the next day to sleep in and wrote for 4 more hours, then finished cleaning up the doc a couple days later.

So here's about 4,000 words (?!?!) of my thoughts on this incredible fucking masterpiece of a movie.

Certainly not expecting anyone to read this but I do want to put it here for myself :) Because this is how I have fun for some reason!

Disclaimers:

I’m not Black so I’m obviously discussing topics outside the realm of my experience / culture and could be completely off the mark on anything. Apologies in advance if I am. I also assume I’m not the first to say any of this analysis.

These are my initial thoughts and interpretations before deep-diving or Googling or reading interviews about this movie! (That's my rule.) Just from my brain’s first watch and my limited knowledge of history and sociology.

---------------

-I cannot fucking wait to rewatch this movie with subtitles someday because I know for a FACT I missed some things.

-I liked how Stack drove the red car and Smoke drove the blue truck :) so cute. I was like yaaayyy, hammer home this visual separation so I can get a sense of them as individual people before we keep going, thank you <3 so many good framing and color and lighting choices throughout this movie that foreshadowed things too!

-Lowkey I totally get why people probably want sequels and spinoffs of this universe to learn more lore, but I felt very content with where it left us. The themes/subtext are so strong and so well-executed that the story feels fairly complete in that regard to me because it had things to say and said them well. Not to say the metaphors couldn’t be continued in more storytelling and worldbuilding, obviously, and I’d eat it up if they did decide to do it… But I also think what we got feels fairly satisfying to me.

-However: WHERE IS MY CHOCTAW NATION VAMPIRE HUNTERS SPINOFF. GODDAMN!!! Also love how we get them for literally 3 minutes and they embody every aspect of this movie’s messaging perfectly. Insanely cool shit

Okay anyway

-The opening intro makes such a bold claim about how the music we’re about to hear that’s so incredibly beautiful. It talks of music that transcends time and holds so much power it attracts outside dark forces. And then… when Sammie first plays and opens his mouth to sing… Stack’s reaction is our reaction in the audience, because that claim is immediately upheld as believable. You immediately believe the folklore’s validity because of his skills. Astonishing feat. Holy fucking shit. God I love blues music

-The opening sets up the unsubtle thesis, but then Slim’s story in the car (and its beautiful sound design!!!) after they see the slaves take encouragement / heart through music underscores it all. It felt like a powerful tool to further set up a grounding for the supernatural we were about to see play out, and a reminder of its intended metaphors. Slim’s brother was a blues player who was lynched for the crime of simply existing in his Black joy and trying to get to make a bigger life for himself, and (as Annie later tells Smoke) money was no true power that could save him. In fantasy and reality, when people of color are just living with authentic joy by enjoying their own unique culture and music and lives, it attracts white supremacists who want to gleefully, hatefully leech from or destroy all of it.

-And then Ryan Coogler really was like, “Just in case you missed this movie’s unsubtle messages, we are going to be loud.” The way the vampire fight isn’t the final violence or the point… God. Instead, we end on the justified KKK slaughter. The real klan, the actual reason all of this happened because they set it up, the start of it all and the white supremacy that fuels the darkness. It says, These are the true monsters, and don’t you fucking forget it.

-But, our plot’s main monster is REMMICK. He’s no Southern white man. He’s specifically Irish! I fucking love that they did this. So much nuance here. Remmick has been isolated from his own people, heritage, and language through colonialism and the rise of the Baptist Christian church. Cornbread tells him (and the 2 Klan members…) that there are plenty of other spaces for them and their banjo music, and while of course he’s right – Black people (and POC in general) deserve their own safe spaces of expression, and too often white people are trying to encroach on those – for Remmick, there’s sadness here too. Those other white spaces are not his spaces either. He’s Irish and Celtic; they’re not his culture. He’s adrift and has no place, disconnected from his home, Othered by being an Irishman and a vampire, and the loss of his own culture and family has him desperately seeking attachment to others’ – but in the worst way. His fate is what he now violently forces onto others. While he ostensibly hates the KKK, he aligns with them indiscriminately in search of connection and his own survival, and he essentially helps them achieve their goal of destroying Black people – a mirror to how, in history, Irish people benefitted from white supremacy for their survival at the expense of Black people. (And a mirror, of course, to how white people broadly try to steal from Black culture daily.) Remmick’s message is basically “just assimilate and be free,” simultaneously asking them (especially Sammie) to assimilate into his culture for his sake because it’s what he needs, yet assimilation is clearly its own form of entrapment and death. It’s a tragedy that it was what Remmick was faced with as an Irishman, but it’s a larger inexcusable tragedy that he turned around and decided to perpetuate the same cycle of violence onto others in alliance with white supremacy.

-Of course, we see this most in the contrast between the music ensembles (and holy shit, SHOUT OUT TO THE ASPECT RATIO CHANGES IN THESE!!! Religious experience!!!). Sammie’s “I Lied to You” blues music is transformative and joyful, inspiring multicultural connection and appreciation that honors history and genres. It’s filled with warmth and life, and is perhaps even a hopeful depiction of the true melting pot of America. But Remmick’s “Rocky Road to Dublin” song with the vampires he’s turned has everyone washed out, looking and sounding homogeneous in a sinister way, blending together in the perfect terrifying depiction of what assimilation does. Individuality and different cultures are gone; there is now only this, powered by the violence of whiteness. Remmick’s supposed position being “We believe in equality” is of course a farce, and though he’s not motivated by racism (like the KKK), he has no qualms with aligning with its results. More importantly, his enforced assimilation in the name of supposed equality brings to mind the harmful modern adages of “I don’t see color” and other similar positionings which erase differences in culture rather than honor them. Add to that the moments where Remmick showcases having the memories and skills of people he’s turned, who are now all “connected” to each other but in a way where they’ve lost all individuality. When he speaks Chinese, it’s a moment of horror because it’s a language he didn’t learn for genuine connection but rather stole for cultural appropriation, and then he specifically uses it as a tool of violence (and threats of sexual assault!) against Grace.

-ANNIE. I find it fascinating how she kind of embodies the movie’s critique of the Christian church and evangelism as a tool of white supremacy to placate Black Americans and encourage or enforce assimilation. Annie practices (to my knowledge) hoodoo, occult magic from African culture and a form of spirituality that Christians would obviously deem evil and sinful. But here, her mojo bags and ancestral knowledge are the only things that keep anyone safe. (Notably, Christian crosses did nothing for protection.) She’s another layer to the concepts of being in touch with your culture and ancestors… and she chooses death rather than turning/assimilation or losing her sense of identity. I couldn’t help but think about the history of African slaves jumping overboard from ships because they chose to die on their own terms rather than live in enslavement.

-SLIM. He’s the Black elder who’s seen and experienced and survived horrendous, evil things. Yet despite it all, he’s the comedic relief of the movie. While Slim drinks to repress the trauma (which is objectively not the most healthy decision and it’s constantly pointed out), it doesn’t compromise his connection to his music or to his people. Despite everything, he’s still filled with joy and good humor and wisdom – something that feels very true to life in regards to the fortitude of so many Black elders. And when push comes to shove, he puts his life and body on the line to be ripped to shreds (not assimilated!) by the destructive forces coming for his culture and his people in an attempt to protect them. I fucking loved him.

-MARY. She’d be considered Black by the One-Drop Rule / Jim Crow laws, and she’s grown up in this community, but… she’s not really Black. She feels Othered by that, yes, and it was a natural continuation (to me) to know that was going to result in her becoming a vampire in the plot. Of course there’s a level of sympathy to be given to her and her situation, in the sense that she’s also a victim of segregation, as anyone in an interracial relationship was. She just wanted to live with the man she loves but society wasn’t structured to allow that. But at the end of the day, she still had safety in the ways she was able to move through the world as a white woman — and power. (Stack tells Sammie not to look at her at the train station; if white people claim a Black man looked at a white woman the wrong way, it can turn into a lynching.) It’s notable that Mary is able to go speak to the white people/vampires with less perceived risk to her in ways none of the Black people could… and then she’s also able to be metaphorically turned to their way of seeing things. It’s not an accident that she’s the first turned, then them letting her in and Smoke fucking her is what kickstarts their collective downfall. Mary was a “safe” white person for her Black family all their lives, until abruptly she wasn’t. A too true-to-life tragic possibility.

-PEARLINE. She’s a bold, unapologetic Black woman connected to her culture who chooses her own freedom and authenticity vs Christian traditionalism. A sinner through “infidelity” – a word which can mean being unfaithful to a partner, or unfaithful to religious/Christian belief. And she dies because of it.

-[Side note: super interesting to see the scene of Pearline’s musical beats being timed with the violence of Smoke and the other men killing a guy who was threatening the haven of solidarity and community they’d built. A commentary on being distracted by in-fighting while the real enemy and evil of white supremacy is on the move]

-GRACE. The embodiment of how, when shit is going down, POC solidarity can crumble. At the start, we see her and her family being on “both sides” with the white and Black stores, and able to cross between those 2 stark worlds/realities with ease. “We didn’t sign up for this,” Grace says, when the evil white people come for the Black people; the fun and the culture, but not the fight. Then she makes the selfish and individualized decision to let the evil in at the expense of everyone else. And yet… Her name. Grace. Does the story want us to grant her a little bit of it? I’d argue Smoke gives her grace, because he includes her and her husband in his fond and motivating memories of the earlier parts of the day. Is what Grace does defendable? No, but perhaps it’s meant to be understandable. In the moment, she’s not thinking of saving her own skin or uselessly trying to save her husband; she’s thinking of wanting to protect her daughter and the rest of the town, so instead of choosing passivity, she opts to protect them by addressing and destroying the monsters head-on so they can’t continue their evil mission. But unfortunately, in another example of lack of solidarity, she goes straight to destroy her husband and her fight stops there regardless of everyone else’s fight. Her vindictive revenge turns into mutual destruction because she burns up with him. And she’s perhaps also an example of how when someone is so focused on being combative with a person who broke their tradition they forget to focus on what they still have to protect.

-Speaking of names… lol. CORNBREAD. Obviously there was intentional comedic relief happening in the scene where he’s pissing in the woods and monsters are hidden around him whispering “Is that cornbread?” lmaaaooo but also… Not just silliness! Cornbread is historical food for survival and resilience that has roots in several different cultures. It stems from making something from very little under the forces of oppression and enforced famine, and it’s what the Indigenous people, Black Southern Americans, and the Irish all made. Something that should be or could be a source of connection and a way to let each other in (as he was the doorman!), but instead becomes another tool of violence and of a right vs wrong way to be.

-SMOKE. Violence as protection, and a burden to be shouldered for tenderness and love. He killed his father to protect Stack. He killed Annie because she asked him to. He sent Sammie away to face and kill the KKK men by himself, knowing he might be killing himself in the process. I think of the scene where he’s dying and Annie in the afterlife is watching him while holding their child. As Smoke unloads bullets into the dying klan member, she doesn’t flinch at his violence, and neither do we as the audience. It’s righteous and justified, and in the very next moment, he holds his daughter softly. The violence stands in contrast to his connection to his brother and lover and daughter, but it’s not antithetical to it or a threat to it. Defense of Black culture – and Black masculinity itself – is not inherently violent. Smoke is not his violent father; he broke that cycle too. He is tender and loving, and it’s the reason for his protectiveness and informs his violence that’s directed outward in defense of his family, and especially at the vampires and white supremacists. There’s also something to be said for how Smoke has these violent skills and weapons because he was a soldier in WWI. He served a country that treats him and his people as less than human. And Grace even tells him, “Aren’t you a soldier?” Yes, he was. He shouldn’t have to be at home. And yet, this too is a war, with him and his people being constantly besieged when all they want is peace. Along those lines: At first, Smoke thought that money could be a form of power, to the point of nearly slipping into valuing it more than community when it came down to payment for drinks at the juke joint. But he internalizes and learns especially from Annie that money can’t save you; money didn’t save Slim’s brother who was lynched, and the twins throwing money at a Klan member for the juke joint didn’t stop them from pulling up to their door. Smoke comes to fully learn that All we have is family, community, and our traditions, and we can’t let them take that. Perhaps that’s also part of the reason why he couldn’t kill Stack in the end, instead killing Remmick (as he killed their father) to give Stack his best chance at freedom.

-SMOKE & STACK. The older brother looking at his now-wayward younger brother who suddenly feels like a different person. The twin who looks at his mirrored self and doesn’t recognize who he sees anymore. Who is Stack now? Did Smoke fail him? But there’s something in Stack that is still him, even though he’s forever changed, and ultimately Smoke can’t destroy that. From one sibling to another, it’s the thought of “I can’t abide by or agree with what you’ve become but I can’t destroy you either.” There’s no me without you in the sense that we’re forever tied, but also in the sense that we were instrumental in making each other who we are, for better and worse.

-“ELIJAH MOORE” VS “STACK.” Names are powerful. Smoke’s real name is used in the end as a nod to the connections to his history and roots, and also to his truest self, which he reunites with just as he reunites with Annie, their child, and spirituality in death. Contrast this with Stack, who is going by his nickname in perpetuity – a half name that’s forever cut off from Smoke as the other half, and a disconnect from his old self he’s buried. In the end credit scene, STACK is seen on his ring and visually tied to stacks of money under his hand, aka empty power at high cost. It’s a sad reversal of Stack’s prior thoughts on community and people being more important than profit, when he and Annie were united at the juke joint in pushing back against Smoke’s pursuit of “American dollars.”

-SAMMIE and “This Little Light of Mine.” My goodness. At the start of the movie, Sammie’s preacher father wanted him to sing gospel as a way to lead others in the church, but he never gets to in the context/timeline of the movie. We only hear the choir singing it in the opening instead without Sammie’s involvement. But then, the final credits scene: Sammie has his guitar, which we know doesn’t exist anymore because it’s the guitar he used to fight off demons (literal and metaphorical), and now he’s singing it as a blues song. Did he sing it in church at an earlier point before the events of the movie? Who knows. Doesn’t matter. What matters is this: Sammie’s preacher father tried to give him an ultimatum. Put down the guitar; put down the blues music and the dancing and the sex; put down the sinning. It all attracts darkness, so come back to church and return to the Lord. Be pure. The Christian church, explicitly used as a tool of oppression that benefits white supremacy. But even after the horrors and trauma Sammie experiences – some of which he even draws in through his music (and metaphorically his “sinning”), which is not his fault – Sammie won’t let it go. He can’t. It’s who he is, and it’s his culture and connection to his ancestors, and there’s nothing sinful about any of it. The music, the dancing, the fucking, or anything else. It’s all beautiful, and the embracing of it all then necessitates (because of his father’s ultimatum) a level of rejection of the church in order to continue to live. But despite all of that… The church (and perhaps some redefined aspect of faith) is still a part of him and his culture too. He carries it with him, which is a relatable notion for many people who were raised religious and either chose to walk away or were forced to because of the inherit ultimatums in its restrictions. And so: Sammie had been told to lead and use his music to shine his little light all around the world. It may not be for the church or in the way his father wanted, but by God, he still went out and did just that. In his way, on his terms, without forgetting where he came from.

-Sammie stands in church at the start of the movie. His pastor father has been pushing, Give me the blues guitar. Rejoin our congregation. Sing gospel. Sammie stands in church and it’s intercut with flashbacks of Remmick attacking him. Give me your music. Join our clan. Sing Irish folk songs for me. And yeah, Sammie’s grip on that blues guitar stays real tight.

-[Side note, mostly kidding: all vampire stories could do with a bit of queerness. As merely a fun exercise, if I was choosing to make one aspect of this movie queer in a way that naturally further services the themes… I’d make Pearline a man. Have Sammie be a “sinner” in another dramatic sense by making him queer. What if on the best day of his life in the juke joint, he connects with another man through music and then fucks a man? Much to think about. But there’s a lot going on in this movie already of course, in a specific historical context. And people would’ve gotten too distracted from the various core messages about race and culture (because no one can be normal about seeing queer stuff and understanding intersectionality). But hey, that would’ve hit! And would’ve fit. Just an interesting and extremely unnecessary what if in the privacy of my own mind.]

-STACK (& MARY). Still alive, but dead inside. How good is the life they lead? Stack, when trying to convince Smoke to join the vampire clan, referred to the assimilation they were experiencing as a form of freedom because of the (tangential-to-whiteness) power. But not only is that freedom untrue and filled with conditions, it also comes at a high cost. Eternally separated from their family, divorced from culture, their old selves and lives dead and gone, with no one but Sammie left to remember who they really were. Frozen, adrift, unable to move on or grow. But here’s the thing: was it their fault? Both Mary and Stack’s turnings were nonconsensual. Their disconnection from and erasure of their culture was nonconsensual, and they became Different before they realized what was happening. Remmick is killed and they’re free of his influence and control now, but where does that leave them anyway? They’re still ostracized and left out in the cold, and can’t be let back in unless someone lets them in, which no one is inclined to do – except for Sammie. In Stack and Mary, we see the cost of leaving your cultural roots behind, or (more accurately) having them taken from you violently, forcefully, or through the inescapable encroaching influences of colonialism and white supremacy. As foreshadowed by Sammie’s question to Mary in the juke joint: what are they now? They’re something Other, trying to make their space in the world, and dressed not dissimilarly to the genres of music seen when Sammie’s blues transcended time. So maybe they’re trying to make their own spaces work. But in particular… Stack can’t fit with the white humans, and he can also never go home. Yet he and Mary long for home and for culture, and make an attempt to reconnect with it – which, incredibly, Sammie allows. Sammie is now (visually) the elder who lets the wayward young people back in. He literally embraces Stack – and I think it’s key that he doesn’t embrace Mary. Stack and Mary may be together, but the ways in which they’ve been changed and the disconnect they’re experiencing is undeniably different, because Stack is Black and Mary is not. Its relevance can’t be ignored. This moment and this culture is not hers in the same way. Sammie takes a last parting shot at that point and hammers the themes home by changing the lyrics of his “Travelin’”: I don't know why in the hell I'm here, because the woman I'm lovin', you know she really don’t care. Fully justified? Slightly unfair to her trauma? Maybe mostly the former and a tiny bit of the latter, and heartbreakingly understandable regardless.

[siri-ike]

By hooking each bat up to a neural monitor during some of these interactions, the bats were able to learn some of the potential causes for their reactions.

Most people experienced dramatically hightened levels of dopamine and slight decrease in serotonin. The dopamine made people feel intensely about him, and the lack of serotonin gave people a negative experience.

This prompted two hypotheses. If someone already has low dopamine, will they still have a reaction? and if someone has high serotonin, will the reaction be better?

The first would be easy to test. Just have Nightwing stop taking his Ritalin for a while and have them meet.

Result: it wasn't great. Dick was all over the place, and it was hard to tell whether he was put off or not.

Conclusion: Dick has been relying on Ritalin since he was 6 years old, and therefore cannot be expected to function without it.

The second test was more difficult. No one in this family has an abundance of serotonin. So, instead, they went the other way. Find someone who's used to having low serotonin.

Luckily for them, they had the perfect teammate for the job.

Garfield Logan, aka Beast Boy. His undiagnosed depression and ADHD make him the perfect candidate.

On a related note, Damian refused to get tested for either.

The whole plan had raised concerns. Such as "How do you know he has "undiagnosed" depression and ADHD?" And "Batman, try not to send 9 year olds into potentially dangerous situations challenge" and of course Tim's favorite: "What do you mean his parents agreed to this for a small fee? Do we need to call CPS?" But none of those concerns mattered as much as getting answers.

*kzzt* "Red Robin calling Beast Boy, come in Beast Boy."

"Beast Boy responding, target is in sight." Gar said mere inches from the boy staring right at him. "I could almost touch him." He places a hand directly on his face. "I am now touching him."

"Gar, we talked about this." Nightwing butted in. "Don't just touch peoples faces. You don't know if they could bite."

Gar, without removing his hand, asked. "Do you bite?"

The boy didn't answer, he more just blubbered. It was gross. Gar pulled his hand away, and a solid web of bright green snot clung to them both. "That doesn't look like a healthy color." Gar held the goo up to his own face to compare. "Nothing should look like this." He couldn't keep in his laughter as he said that. It was enough to put a smile on the older boys face.

"Who are you?" He finally rasped.

"I'm Gar. It's short for Garfield. I'm one of the Teen Titans." Gar proclaimed proudly.

"You're a teenager?"

Shoot, he saw right through his clever ruse. "Well, no. I, I'm not a Teen Titan yet. I just live at the tower for now because my family is being investigated, and my mom thinks I can't keep a secret." Gar wiped the discusting slime all over his bright purple suit. "She thinks I'm going to tell everyone that my dad isn't allowed near any minors"

"Oh." The boy looked concerned in a much too knowing way for Dicks liking. "I'm Danny." Said Danny.

*kzzt* "Take him to the shelter."

"There's a safe house nearby. It has food and everything. You can live there now because Batman and Red Robin wanna fix your spooky pheromones or something." Gar beamed as though delivering the best of news.

"Ok." Danny hesitated but decided to follow. Sneakily, he latched onto Gars' hand, who only smiled in return. It had been months since anyone let him touch them.

The test was a success. Now, they had two people who could interact with the teen. One of whom didn't trigger Batmans fight or flight. This way, they can keep tabs on him 24/7.

Dick sent Zatana their data just incase Tim's "vibes proof barrier producing belt" or Vpbpb (pronounced as a fart noise) didn't work.

Ever since the portal accident, Danny has always seemed a bit… off, to other people. But even before that, he’d always been seen as a bit of a weird kid. The people of Amity Park were, even at the start, a bit used to it.

The people of Gotham, however, were not.

If anything, they were the opposite. Living in the ‘city of crime’ had built within them keen survival instincts. Instincts that went on full blast in the halfa’s vicinity.

Most simply avoided him. Homeless shelters turned him away. Jobs, even the less than legal ones, hesitated to hire him. Sometimes people would even call the cops if he stuck around in any one place for too long.

Not even the city’s mysterious vigilantes trusted him. He sometimes caught glimpses of their masked eyes following him from the shadows. Watching. Waiting for him to show his true colors.

Or maybe he was just hallucinating. He couldn’t be entirely sure. He didn’t dare transform and risk bringing down further suspicion on himself, nor could he ask anyone to corroborate for what he saw either. So instead, he just curled further in on himself. Surreptitiously using his powers to steal the bare necessities for himself and avoiding everyone.

Not even during the worst of the anti-ghost sentiment in Amity had Danny felt so alone.

[batty4vamps]

Hi! Can I request 8 from the prompt list with David?😄

8. "Am I boring you?" with David

This one absolutely ran away with me ngl- David is so intimidating to write for and something about that possessed me to just keeping adding to this for over a week until I kind of liked it lmao

That being said, while it’s probably not what you were expecting, I hope you like it!

And I hope it reads like David 🫣

Includes: fem reader, hurt/comfort, David being a threatening asshole, established relationship, fight and makeup

It’d been a hell of a day. You were a month out from graduating college, and one of your professors had spontaneously decided to regrade all of your class work, leaving you points from passing. You’d freaked out, meeting him in his office and “discussing” with him for over an hour to no avail.

The minute David had returned you to the cave you’d started telling him about your day, laying down on a dusty couch. This whole semester had been rough, and he’d heard all about it

“…and then he just said “there’s nothing I can do”, practically slammed the door in my face!”

You sighed, rubbing your temples.

“It’s like I do everything right, I play by every rule, and they still can’t just give me this one thing, this one accomplishment before- well, you know.”

He nodded lazily as he skimmed through a book. It was leather bound and dusty, probably as old as Max.

You stared at him, waiting for a response, or at least a look. It never came.

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?”

You said sarcastically as he finally looked up from his book.

“Of course not”

Your eyes narrowed.

“So what did I just say?”

He hesitated for an incredibly telling moment, giving you a familiar stare

“Without looking in my head-“

Silence.

He broke eye contact with you, blinking for a moment before looking back down to his book.

“I knew it.”

He sighed, harshly closing the book. You noticed he hadn’t taken off his gloves.

“Now, What do you know?”

Usually his half condescending, half uncaring tone and smirk were attractive. Not when you were upset with him.

“That you weren’t listening to me. That you don’t care.”

His brows furrowed, as if he was pondering whether or not he cared enough to lie in this moment. The look broke, he’d decided.

“No. I don’t care about whatever argument your professor picked this week. So?”

It was a challenge, as if he was daring you be upset. Like he was playing with you.

You were kind of taken aback. This wasn’t the tone David usually took with you, not seriously. You knew he was a liar, that he knew how to say the just right thing. You knew that with you, it was out of affection. Because as much as he denied it, he felt for you, and he wasn’t going to lose you over saying the wrong thing.

So why was he suddenly telling you the truth?

“So, you’re supposed to care about what I say- I’m sorry it’s not a gory vampire bloodbath, or whatever you want to hear, but it’s my life, and it’s important to me“

He laughed, leaning back in his wheelchair. It was your life, he knew that, and it was so much duller than you deserved. It wasn’t important! Soon enough, you’d never have to worry about anything as trivial as passing a class ever again. He knew why he wasn’t listening, and why he didn’t care about telling you that:

He was tired of it, completely out of patience.

You saw the life you could live with him. The eternal partying, the power, the cure to consequences and boredom, the pack that would have your back no matter what. You knew he could solve your professor problems, and every other grievance you had, and you refused it. You refused him.

“And your life is boring. You sit here and tell me how unhappy you are, night after night, with the solution right in front of you. I’ve run out of sympathy.”

You stared at him, incredulous. Was that really all your life was to him? Your struggles, just dull nothings you had to get past to become like him?

“Can you really run out if you never had any in the first place?”

You couldn’t help but think of all the times you’d come to him for comfort. Every time, you’d always end up eager for eternity, longing for the day when all of your problems would be solved. You’d even considered throwing in the towel and just letting him turn you right there. Was his reassuring just another attempt to lure you?

David paused, a smirk forming on his lips that turned your stomach.

“You think you’d still be alive if I didn’t have any?”

Your face went from angry to unnerved. You knew he wanted you to join him, that you were living on borrowed time. Still, you expected him to understand that you weren’t ready. That you wanted to just finish this one thing before you gave up your whole life for him.

In the last moment, he’d not only disrespected your choice, but he bared his fangs to you. He was reminding you of your place.

“Was that a threat?”

He turned his head slightly to look at you, a subtle smirk still on his lips. You’d seen glimpses of this side of David, the sadistic angles of him, but he’d never gotten close to using them against you. He wouldn’t, not really. At least, you’d hoped.

When he saw the genuine fear in your eyes, the smirk fell, his features resuming his usual look of neutrality. He backed off, not necessarily out of regret, but the sense that he might’ve pushed you farther than he meant to.

“No. Think of it as a reassurance.”

His tone was dismissive, as if you were being silly for asking, but you didn’t believe him. For the first time since you’d began your relationship with David, he’d shaken your trust. His protection was a very vital thing to have when faced with his power.

“What?”

He snapped you out of your thoughts, noticing the staring.

“I have class work to make up. Don’t follow me tonight.”

After a moment of watching him, processing all he’d said, you got to your feet. His brows furrowed.

“Fine.”

As you approached the ledge leading to the mouth of the cave, you passed the others reentering. Paul caught you by the shoulders for a moment with a grin.

“Woah- where you going girl? Party’s just-“

You pushed him off, continuing past him silently. Paul moved out of your way, looking to David.

“Fuck, man, what was that? I didn’t do shit!”

They all looked at David expectantly. You and him had argued from time to time, but you’d never just brushed them off like that before. They’d never seen David like this either.

He was still sat in his wheelchair, hands balled into fists as he glared at the place you’d been standing moments prior.

“Aw shit. What did you do?”

His stare moved to Paul as he began to speak.

“Nothing”

The boys looked at each other, then back to David. They didn’t know he could even be that unconvincing.

Marko got brave, crossing his arms and looking at David sideways.

“Then why was she storming out like you did somethin?”

David’s eyes moved to his friend.

“Because she’s human”

David grimaced. He wasn’t wrong, he knew that. Your life, your problems, were dull and easily fixable. When he’d pointed that out, though, he hadn’t expected you to run from him like you were his prey.

If you were, you wouldn’t have gotten that far. He thought you’d learned to count on that- to count on his restraint when it came to you.

They collectively winced, a tense silence settling. Paul decided it was best to tap out of the conversation now.

“Well, hope you can fix that soon, buddy-“

He snapped a finger gun at David, disappearing down a cavern tunnel. Marko looked at Dwayne, patting him on the shoulder before following Paul deeper into the cave.

“Good luck, man”

Dwayne sighed. He didn’t know how he was somehow always the one left to give advice, but he supposed he was stuck now. He walked up to David, sitting on the couch next to the spot you’d occupied.

“What happened?”

David’s brows furrowed, his eyes meeting Dwayne’s in objection. He only let that stand for a moment before intentionally relaxing his body and leaning back.

“I said, nothing.”

You wanted out, fine. You were never in. Every time he’d try to let you in, you refused. You wanted to make the decision, and you chose wrong. He could be fine with that, really!

On the note of you not trusting him, you were right for it. Maybe before this point you’d deluded yourself into seeing him as anything but the monster he was, but that was on you. He’d been perfectly upfront since the beginning.

Dwayne looked at him, unimpressed.

“David. Cut the bullshit.”

David glared. Dwayne hadn’t spoken to him like that for a long time. Not since he’d been turned. Before he could object, Dwayne started again.

“You care. You wouldn’t have kept her around if you didn’t, and pretending you don’t isn’t helping anyone. What happened?”

David’s face remained hardened. He knew Dwayne was right, in fact he’d already had that particular revelation many times in the privacy of his own head. He wasn’t an idiot. He was just a vampire.

Caring, openly, wasn’t something that came naturally to him.

“I told her that her problems didn’t matter. I scared her.”

Dwayne sighed, hands rubbing together as he tried to navigate the situation.

“How bad?”

David paused, trying to recall the way you’d looked at him moments prior. Like you were trying to gauge how much he’d meant what he said, and didn’t like what the conclusion you’d come to. He didn’t feel guilty, but perhaps a little stupid.

“Just a little- she knows that I care, that she’s safe.”

Dwayne was unsure who he was trying to convince.

“Does she?”

David looked down, jaw set tightly. He had been caring. He’d let you into the pack. He’d protected you, let you remain human and alive. David’s standard for care was the care he showed for his boys. He wasn’t affectionate, hell, he was barely nice, but at the end of the day, they knew damn well he would kill for them, just like he’d kill for you. Of course you needed more than that. You were human.

David’s lips formed a small sneer before he decided to change the subject.

“She doesn’t want to be one of us, Dwayne. There’s not anything I can do about that. Well, nothing I can do that wouldn’t make her hate me.”

He’d certainly thought of other strategies, but you didn’t need to know that.

Dwayne rolled his eyes.

“She doesn’t want to be one of us yet. She still made you a promise-”

David interrupted before Dwayne could finish.

“And promises can be broken.”

David let more slip in that retort than he meant to. He wasn’t bitter, or angry with you for wanting to wait, not deep down. He was a man betrayed. Star first, then Micheal. They’d both gone further than you had and still managed to turn their backs on the pack, on him. David wanted you to be one of them before you had the chance to betray them. He wasn’t going to lose this game again.

Dwayne could almost hear the thought process, leaning forward to David. He saw the trap his friend was setting for himself, and he needed to tell him the truth.

“Trying to force her into it is only going to scare her away, and if she thinks you don’t care, she might as well be gone already.”

Dwayne stood up, leaving David with a final piece of advice.

“Win her back, David, before it’s too late.

If you’d thought the day you’d last seen David was rough, the week following was worse. You’d been oscillating between trying to make up your coursework, and wallowing in the reality that the man you’d give up your humanity for may not give a single shit about you. You knew it wasn’t good for you to be cooped up between the library and your apartment for this long, but where else could you go? The boardwalk, the beach, the forest? They were all his territory, and you damn well weren’t going to come to him, not after how he’d talked to you that night.

So in your apartment you stayed, until just after sunset, there was a knock at your door.

“Can I come in?”

Speak of the devil. As you opened the door you found yourself in some muddy mix of surprise, anger, fear and just a bit of relief. David had never come to you after an argument before. Then again, he’d never looked at you like that either.

“Why?”

David had hoped you’d forgotten he actually did need your invitation to enter. You hadn’t. In this moment, he was at your mercy.

Maybe this whole mess had started because of him zoning out during one of your stories, but it had become something bigger to both of you. You’d promised David your life, and he’d all but explicitly said that wasn’t good enough. That he didn’t respect your decision, and he didn’t respect you.

He’d taken that sinister, leader of the vampires viciousness you knew he had, and he’d turned it on you. Even if it was only for a moment, you weren’t going to take it lightly. Tonight, he would enter only when you said so.

David’s jaw clenched for a moment before he let out a breath. Patience.

“We need to talk.”

Your eyes narrowed. It wasn’t going to be that easy. There would be no talking on your part until he could prove he cared, and you could actually trust that.

“I think I’ve heard what you had to say, loud and clear”

David’s arms were crossed over his chest, bare hands gripping his sleeves. It seemed more out of discomfort than anger, looking unnatural on his usually cool and collected form. He sighed. This was what he came here to do, he wouldn’t go back on it now.

“You heard my frustration-”

“And what else is there?”

You interrupted him with that question, half pleading and half accusatory. It was picking a fight, you knew that, but you weren’t going to let him sweet talk his way out of this.

David cared about you in some way, that was obvious. He’d chosen you. In the end though, the care he’d shown was buy and large in the direction of the vampire you’d become, not the human you were. If you were going to be with him for eternity, you needed to know that you, all of you, meant something to him, and that meant ensuring your safety.

“There’s everything else”

His voice was hushed, eyes looking into yours with an intimacy you didn’t expect from him. You let him go on.

“Care, of course. Why else would I want you to be one of us?”

You raised your eyebrow. You could think of a myriad of less than moral reasons.

David shook his head slightly. He didn’t know he’d shaken you this bad. He switched gears.

“Why else would I have even waited this long? Your fear is warranted, but you do know me. You’ve seen the things I would do for you. I’m not going to harm you.”

Your glare lessened ever so slightly. David had done a lot for you, from small acts of unexpected kindness to saving your life. That did count for something.

But not everything.

“What else?”

He hesitated for a moment, like he was trying to get his words straight, before giving up. He looked into your eyes, a layer of defense reluctantly dropping between the two of you.

“…Fear”

The word hung in the air, stunning you into silence. Of all the things you’d expected David to admit, being afraid wasn’t one of them. It sounded strange coming from his mouth, a sneer as though he didn’t like the taste of it. You didn’t even know he could still feel fear. He spoke up once again.

“…You know what happened the last time I let someone hesitate.”

So that’s what this was about. You knew of the two that came before you in David’s eyes. Paul and Dwayne told you after nearly killing you in an effort to test your commitment to the pack. You knew how it ended, with Marko impaled and the pack seriously injured. You had sympathy for their fears, but you were tired of paying for a mistake you hadn’t made. You’d done nothing to make anyone, especially David, think you were going to betray him.

“I’m not Star.”

His brows furrowed. He wasn’t aware you knew her name.

“I know that- my point is, I’m impatient because I care, not because I don’t. I want you to be above the mercy of a professor, or a landlord, or any of them.“

You were just far enough out of the doorway for him to take your hands.

“But really, I want you to be as bound to me as I am to you. Before you have the chance to change your mind.”

You frowned hearing the veiled vulnerability in his voice. You understood where David was coming from. He didn’t want you to leave, that was the long and short of it. For either of you to get what you wanted though, he needed to respect you enough to trust you.

“I am bound, David. That’s the whole reason I’m working this hard- I know it won’t matter, but I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something before I die. That doesn’t mean I don’t want it, it’s me saying goodbye. I keep my word.”

He nodded after a moment, thumbs running over your knuckles as he agreed.

“So do I”

Months ago, you’d both promised that once your time in college had ended, your time with him would begin. He would protect you until the it came, and then, you would become a vampire. You were both bound from that day on. You both needed it to stay that way.

And it would.

After a brief moment of exhale, you spoke up again.

“You can come in now, David”

[puck-luck]

Hello Andy!! May I please get a cappuccino with peppermint* and cold foam** for Matt Boldy?

*Friends with benefits

**“Oh, you’re such a tease!” or something similar I'm not picky

will do, buddy! hope you enjoy! sorry for your loss. i'm pretty sure your bracket is still at the top of our league though (which i am not jealous of... at all...)

“Okay, I’ve only got an hour, so we’ve gotta be quick,” Matt tells you as he lets himself into your apartment with his key. “I’ve got some stuff to do at the rink for the end of the season, but I wanted to swing by first.”

“Wow, lucky me,” you reply. Though he hadn’t texted you that he was coming over, you’re not surprised to see him. Matt used to come over all the time when you were just friends, enough to warrant the printing of an extra key just for him. He had complained about driving over here for nothing one too many times when you weren’t home, and though you reminded him that he could just check your location before coming over, he got the key anyway. It was just easier to hand it off and expect to have company in your apartment when you get home.

Matt probably spends more time in your apartment than he does his own, especially during hockey season. His apartment might be nicer, but yours has a better route to the rink than his does. It’s basically a straight shot, whereas he has to take turns. It’s a silly reason, but you’ve made peace with the fact that Matt actually wants to spend time with you and he’s making excuses. 

“Don’t be difficult, this is the ‘benefits’ part of friends with benefits,” Matt says. He’s kicking off his shoes messily and striding towards your couch, which is where you’d been sitting before Matt rushed into your apartment like a tornado. 

You’ve sat up to meet him when he reaches the couch, ready to swing a leg over his lap and straddle him, but Matt crashes into you and pushes you flat against the cushions. His tongue finds its way into your mouth almost immediately, body weaseling its way between your legs so that he can grind against your core. He swallows your retort with enthusiastic kiss after enthusiastic kiss.

The benefits thing is still pretty new for you both, just to the point that you’re both still very into it and neither of you have developed further feelings, as friends with benefits relationships often do. You hang out, you hook up, and everything is fine.

He undresses you quickly, his bare fingertips feeling like licks of fire against your body. The physical sensations haven’t faded or dimmed at all since you’ve been hooking up with Matt. In fact, you feel like they’ve only intensified.

Once you’re both naked, Matt licks over your body at an unhurried pace. For a man who burst into your living room and declared that he only had an hour, he’s acting like he has all the time in the world. He sucks on your nipples, lavishing them with attention. His eyelashes flutter as his eyelids fall shut, pleasured hums emanating quietly from his body. If not for the way your body reacts to the vibrations, you would think you were hearing things. 

He makes his way down between your legs, tongue tracing your folds and teasing your clit. He has no urgency, like you’d acknowledged before, and it’s bothering you. Matt has been traveling extra because of the playoffs, super focused on that and performing very well you might add, but you haven’t gotten laid in the meantime. So now, with him saying he’s only got so long but dilly-dallying, you feel justified in berating him. 

“Are you going to get down and dirty with it or are you going to keep teasing me?” you demand, running your fingers through Matt’s hair and pushing it out of his face.

He looks up at you and mocks your tone, not saying any actual words but choosing to make “womp-womp” noises like the parents in Charlie Brown. He then puts his attention back on your cunt, licking a stripe up your slit before he answers you. “Don’t know,” he says conversationally, as if his mouth isn’t poised right before your entrance. “Time’s it?”

You look at the clock on your bookshelf. “Almost noon.”

Matt freezes. “Oh, shit, I gotta go.” He scrambles back onto his heels, then leaves the couch entirely. Your legs are still spread and your pussy is wet, yet neglected due to the way Matt has launched himself from your living room. His departure perfectly reflects his entrance into your apartment.

You push yourself up on your elbows and stare at him, jaw dropped. “Matthew,” you demand. “You are not being serious right now. You’re not leaving in the middle of this.”

“Gotta,” he says with a shrug, pulling his shirt over his head. “We’re doing a lunch for Flower and then cleaning out lockers. Exit interviews. You know, that sort of thing. It’s mandatory.”

“You fucking tease,” you accuse in an affronted voice. When he turns to find his shoes, you repeat his name, more serious and louder than before. You throw in his middle name for good measure. “Matthew Edward Boldy.”

He looks at you, an expression full of apologetic ‘no-room-for-argument’ on his face. He holds his shoes in one hand, pointing at you with the other. “I’ll be back later.”

“I’m going to change the locks.”

“No you’re not. I’ll be back later.” He backs out of the apartment and locks the door behind him, still shoeless as he exits, and you’re left sexually frustrated on your own damn couch.

[ao3holidays]

May 3, 1808

Day depicted by Spanish painter Francisco Goya in his "The Third of May," which he paints in 1814.

Related Tag: Past Character Death

meanwhile, the wild geese by bacondoughnut

Jason killed the Joker, but it turns out he still has a long road ahead of him to work on healing. In the meantime, he just hopes he can help Damian find a little bit of the peace he's found since coming home. And not having assassins after him or his family might be a nice touch, too. aka; The one where the family takes on the League of Assassins, Damian learns a thing or two about belonging, and Jason gets a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

the courage of stars by merils

Kon stares down into his tea. Lois’s hand is warm on his shoulder. “Kal,” he says, hollow. “…Do you ever… Do you ever wish you didn’t come back?” He can feel Lois stiffen, can hear both of their heart rates increase. They exchange looks over his head, but he doesn’t care enough to look up, shame sitting heavy in his gut. “What do you mean, Kon?” Kal asks. His voice is gentle, but Kon knows him well enough to hear the fierce worry, the protective steel beneath it. After so long being held in, the words all but pour out. Kon swallows a too-hot sip of tea that doesn’t scald going down. “I was made to be like you,” he says. “You died saving the world. I was—don’t you get it? Kal, I was made to die saving the world. I was made to die. And I did. So—” His voice cracks. “So why am I back?”

In the Event of An Emergency by Luvo

Jason’s back in Gotham. He’s back from the dead, he’s killing people, he’s helping people, he’s avoiding the people who used to be his family, he’s besieged by a couple of pint sized new vigilantes, and is being haunted by the ghost of his past. Literally. There are a lot of things Jason can't seem to avoid. The new Robin, for one. His past as Robin, for another. The question: When you’re separated from your past life by miles of traumatic life changing (or life-ending) events, when you’ve changed so much from the person you thought you would be, when you just haven’t spoken to someone in years– how do you know they will still love you? It’s a Jason returns home fic!

Of House and Home by Kestrealbird

When Hal comes back to Oa after a mission, the last person he expects to see sleeping in his room is Barry. He proceeds to have a lot of feelings about this development

Gift my left ear to my brother by Luvo

Going home is one thing. Staying there is another. (Coming back to life is one thing. Actually living is another.) So. Jason’s back. Yay! He might have failed to realize exactly what that would entail. He’s trying his best. So is everyone else. He just has a couple questions. What is he supposed to do with the family he’s trying to have again? How does he support his almost-kind of-distant-clearly going through something-older brother? How does he support the younger siblings he never expected he’d have? It’s weird. It’s awkward at times. It’s painful at others. It’s joyful as well, when he lets himself see it. They’re all trying together. They’ll figure it out in the end. Post returning home: where do you go from there?

[lame2882]

ENA: Fragment Ego (AU)

ENA returns to the bathroom to meet Theodora and learn more about her origins.

Small hint of ENAdora here because why have one yuri when you can have more?

Don't know what this au is? Here's the Masterpost!

Note: I know it might be that the Lonely Door-and Theodora by extension-is inaccessible after the events of Chapter One, but shhhh

Confession Booth

Word Count: 1702

Her legs wobbled like a fawn learning to walk for the first time. Her body ached and screamed in agony as she stumbled forward, falling onto the solid darkness below her feet. She clung to it like she hadn’t stood on solid ground in ages.

ENA looked back at the white river, nauseated from jumping across the flimsy rafts with a migraine pounding at her head. This damn bathroom had better be worth coming a second time.

She entered the bathroom, approaching the well as she had before. The hole in her abdomen ached. If she wasn’t so desperate for answers, there was no way she would’ve put herself through all of this again. Froggy and Coral Glasses even advised her against it. However, ENA just couldn’t shake the feeling that she had to come back. After meeting Theodora for the first time… something felt off. Maybe it was the brief moment of having her sins lifted off her shoulders before being slammed down with them again, but it was like she caught a glimpse of a past life. A life where she was different.

Of course, she had always lived with the knowledge of being a fragment of a former genie. The memories haunted her. But she didn’t know much beyond that. Her view of the past life was just a peep through a keyhole, one that gave her nightmares and panic attacks.

Meeting with Theodora… well, she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but she hoped she could find some remedy for the pain. Maybe a hope that she wasn’t an all-horrible genie before shattering.

She stepped a foot up on the edge of the well, the hands of her orange, glowing spirit grabbing onto the rope and beginning to pull the genie back up as she had before.

The statuesque genie was hanging on the end of the rope just like before.

“[Congratulations on reaching the bathroom. It is I, Theodora, genie of these lands— wait.]” Theodora looked over ENA’s familiar face, this time not healing ENA of her gaping wound and returning her to normal before realizing who she was. “[You again? I already gave you what you wanted, ENA. It doesn’t matter how many times you come here, you are simply unforgivable.]”

ENA spoke from the astral projection that protruded from her abdomen, “I am not here for forgiveness, nor am I here for- business matters,” she struggled to get her words out through her pain, “I want answers.”

It was weird how easily it was to get out what she wanted to say. No business metaphors, no beating around the bush with her words; just saying what was on her mind. Her language was just as raw and bare as her body was in this place.

Theodora raised a brow at her, “[You seem different than many of your counterparts. I’m surprised I didn’t see that before. But what answers were you looking for? I’ll see if they’re worth answering, I suppose that’s the least I can do for you after reaching this place… twice.]”

“You… know me. Don’t you?”

Theodora paused, noticing how much ENA struggled to speak with her wounds. “[Perhaps this would be easier if I restored your body-]”

“No!” ENA shook her head, “No. This is the most- straightforward line of thinking I’ve had. Return me to normal and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to— speak with you properly… in the way I need to.” She coughed, “now, tell me. You know me, don’t you? And not in the- in the way everyone else does with their immediate distrust of my kind. You know me… ENA…personally.”

Theodora watched and listened to ENA with a somber expression. It was almost like seeing the dual-toned woman so misshapen was painful for her. Then it was like a switch was flipped, eyes widening as she realized the full picture of who ENA, at least this ENA, was. “[You… remember?]”

ENA looked at her with tired eyes, pinching the bridge of her spirit nose, “Much to my dismay…” she groaned, “I don’t have a lot of the memories from the old genie, I don’t even remember the name. It’s all just… bullets and- and bloodshed. That’s why I’m looking for the bigger story. I couldn’t have been… that bad, could I?”

Theodora frowned, “[Ah, so it seems like you’re overtly aware of why you can’t be trusted.]”

ENA groaned, “I guess that’s one way to put it, yes.”

“[I have yet to meet another of your kind that is aware of where she comes from. This is a curious development.]”

“I definitely haven’t found anyone to commiserate with.” ENA groaned, “but you still haven’t answered my question.”

Theodora sighed and finally answered, “[We were friends once. Well, the genie you come from and I.]”

ENA looked up at Theodora, noticing how the genie was looking off in the distance. Recalling a time long gone. She then looked back at ENA, “[I must say, of all the ENAs I’ve met, you remind me of her the most. Maybe it’s because of the memories you hold, but you look so much like her. Especially like this.]” Theodora gestured to ENA’s raw, hungover state, “[I mean, she took on a lot of different forms. She loved drastically changing her appearance every day. She settled on something that looks very similar to you, though. The short hair, triangular eyes and all that.]”

“You seem to have been very fond of her,” ENA murmured.

“[She was my closest friend. Though, to this day I have no idea why she did what she did.]” Theodora sighed in her sing-song voice.

“What did she do anyway? I know the aftermath but not what actually happened,” ENA asked with a somberness in her voice, her hands growing shaky as memories resurfaced again.

"[She started a war, not much else to it,]" Theodora seemed to shrug, in her little clay doll way, "[She never explained herself. Not her reasoning, not what she intended to accomplish, nothing. She just started a war with the other genies, split herself up to make her soldiers, and in doing so, she destroyed herself and her door along with it.]"

"Split herself up?"

Theodora nodded, "[That's when your kind began to pop up. Judging by what you recall, I imagine you might be the remains of one of her soldier vessels, which would explain why you remember more than most.]"

ENA sat in silence for a few moments, sitting down on the cold bathroom floor to take everything in. She clasped her hands together and stared at the ground. Both the orange and the dull, exhausted ones. A pale hand came up to ENA's face, rubbing her tired eyes. "What was her name?"

"[ENAMI,]" Theodora answered simply, "[Hence your kind being named ENA. Just a part of her name, just like you are just a part of her.]"

"I see." ENA gave a small nod, feeling sick from the new knowledge. She nearly puked, putting her two sets of hands over her two sets of mouths.

Theodora looked over at the fragmented woman, "[I think that's enough of humoring your questions, sinner. You look unwell.]"

"Wait! I still have so much to-"

Before she could even finish her sentence, the bathroom around her went dark and she was suddenly in the palms of a large statue of a woman, Theodora reflecting from the eyes, "[Too late! I can no longer stand the stench of your sins and your face pains me. Take your nonsense and leave.]"

ENA's exhausted eyes looked down at her abdomen as the hole in it repaired itself as it had done before. She was wrapped up in a cocoon, though instead of briefly turning into an angel as she had the first time, it broke before her wings could sprout and she was just left standing there in awe and bewilderment as her red and pale yellow halves returned. Her thoughts became contradictory and nonsensical as they had always been, like an ocean wave crashing down on an island of molten cloud.

She just stood there frozen looking up at Theodora for a moment as she recollected herself, finally shaking herself out of the trance. "Run the sales pitch by me again?" ENA asked in her cheery salesperson tone, turning to Theodora once she turned back into her clay doll appearance, "Can I get a business card on my way out?"

Theodora shook her head, "[Don't return here again, ENA. I have nothing else to grant you. Door's over there. It will take you back to the casino.]" A door appeared on the other side of the bathroom.

"Very well. I can tell when my services aren't wanted," ENA agreed, tipping her hat to Theodora and heading over to the exit. She was just about to turn the handle and step through when she was suddenly back in the palm of Theodora's statuesque hands.

"[B-before you go, I uh-]" The large statue looked down at her, looking nervous. ENA almost went to reply but was interrupted when she felt the statue's lips against her face for a brief moment. Then she was back in front of the door and Theodora's clay doll was awkwardly sitting on the edge of the well refusing to make eye contact, "[Now get out.]"

ENA was stunned, staring abashedly at the genie while fumbling awkwardly for the door handle. She stepped into the casino and closed the door behind her just before her body turned to jelly and she collapsed.

Coral Glasses and Froggy were just across the way, chatting about work when ENA had suddenly emerged from the door that hadn't been there before. They both jumped when she suddenly collapsed and walked over to check on her. "[ENA? Stop lazing around!]" Froggy said, grabbing her hand and pulling her up to her feet, revealing the huge grin on her face. Froggy raised a brow, "[What are you so happy for?]"

ENA blinked, straightening herself out, "Oh I'm just having a wonderous day off work, that's all!"

Coral and Froggy glanced at each other before ENA pushed past the both of them.

"[...she hates taking days off work.]"

Yippee! Little genie backstory :D

I’m still struggling with the genie’s (ENAMI) full appearance but here’s a little doodle

I have so many thoughts and ideas for this au, I’m struggling to figure out what I should be posting about first.

You should like,, ask me stuff about the au in my inbox... that'd be cool

Edit: shoutout to @noodle-fandumb for their ENAdora comic that inspired the smooch scene! Their art is amazing so do check them out :D

[burrythebusy]

Part 2!

Another important gripe I have is with this

That's not what he says man. Here, hes supposed to be talking about how Hirano is considering how they might look and being caught meaning Hirano being "conscious" of the romantic aspects of their relationship. He's taking Kagiura’s feelings seriously and he knows others might see etc. "Its nice that you're looking out for me BUT" is just an odd choice. I don't get it.

And then, arguably the most important panel and the most important words of this chapter, what we've ALLLL been waiting for...

...Poopy.

When i say this chapter is 75% extra yap that wasn't in the original text, I mean it

Every single translation and live tl I've seen says that Hirano says, "So it's the same [feeling]". All he says here, is a short and sweet, our feelings are the same. It's Hirano realizing that Kagiura’s definition of love is the same as how he feels about Kagiura. So why in TARNATIONNN am I seeing a whole paragraph that doesn't even make SENSE.

"Thats exactly what i thought love meant" NO ITS NOT??? BECAUSE EARLIER IN THIS SAME TL HIRANO GOES

This is also why I brought up earlier what ichinose said about how it feels for love to be reciprocated, because this whole time hirano has been thinking that he wants to be with Kagiura [more than anyone] but he DIDN'T define this as love, so Kagiura saying what he said made Hirano realize that the feelings he didnt realize could simply be love, ARE love, and they're reciprocated! Does that make sense???

Hirano has never defined love for himself explicitly. Again, everything hes going through right now is because of what love is defined as through expectations of "normalcy". Hes thinking his feelings are different from Kagiura’s e.g. NOT romantic because everyone expects certain things he can't perform out of it. This isnt him realizing that "oh how I've been defining love all this time is how Kagiura defines it" no, hes thinking, "if love, according Kagiura, the one who loves me, is THIS, then I DO love him, and our feelings are the same"!!!!

The whole thing he went through earlier in this chapter was him worrying that he can't perform whats expected of him in order for his feelings to be categorized as love therefore he can't return it, when in reality he's told "Hey thats not what love has to be" so ichinose saying that and then Kagiura confirming that thats NOT what love is to him, is Hirano realizing that IS what he's been feeling then.

What he says in this TL comes off as when ppl have a wrong opinion of something and get proven wrong then go "YEAH THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING!" NO YOU WERENT AND THATS OKAY DAWG.

Sometimes less is more. And I think that applies here TENFOLD. He didn't say all this, he didn't say he was thinking the same thing the WHOLEEE TIME, he skipped away, the world's weight off his shoulders, and he said "We're the same" because if the guy that loves him says I love you because this, and he feels the same way, then hey! Guess I'm in love too!

To me, the original is sooo powerful because it just ended up being sooo simple. Ichinose assured him that kissing isnt what defines loving someone. And then Kagiura reassured his love for Hirano by saying I don't love you because I want to kiss you, but vice versa. "I want to be with you more than anyone" something Hirano has been (subconsciously) thinking all this time (and consciously sometimes!) It ended up being so freaking simple. He didn't have to say or think much. Because their feelings, after all, are the same. GUYS. WHAT ARE WE DOING.

God i love this chapter but it PAINSSS me reading ch. 28 and then this one because the tl just doesn't so it justice. From changing whole sentences to omitting important things I just don't understand why. It changes so much. And its constantly misleading readers that rely on this tl into thinking things are worse than they are. Urgh.

Anyway. We are UNDENIABLY in the post-Hirano-Realization arch and thats huge. This chapter made me CRY people. Its just such a good freaking chapter with such personal writing and I felt everything when reading it so it saddens me that might not be the case for others.

Outlining my gripes with the ch. 29 TL

Alright chat. Basically, i have the same problems I had with the 28 tl but, to give it credit, it's definitely not as bad. (Note that I'm basing my opinions off of the TL posted on the most known sites, and I'm comparing that to the TLs of the numerous servers I'm in INCLUDING the one of the person that did the popular TL I'm doing the comparison of)

I think one of the most important parts of ch. 29 is how it bounces of of 28.

Small bit first, but this still bothers me

Considering how weirdly aggressive ch. 28 was translated, the whole idea that hirano "fought it" annoys me because he literally just flinched??? Maybe thats just how I perceive the term "fought" but he didn't try to pull away nor did he react that adversely as were being made to believe by the words (re: the whole "repulsed" thing as if he didn't just feel discomfort or even just shock which was the tlers own words too, but whatever)

Anyway, Hirano is thinking that he can't live up to the expectation of what defines romantic love (certain physical touches, kissing, etc.) He WANTS to be able to return Kagiura’s feelings, but if this is what romantic feelings are supposed to be like, can he?

Firstly, his convo with Ichinose is fine for the most part. My small peeve comes in with this page because Ichinose actually says "just kidding" after but without that this looks kinda mean 😭 but out of context it's funny as hell

But I want us to keep in mind what ichinose says here

"Its the best feeling in the world finding out someone returns your feelings" and he's, to me, definitely referring to Hirano here, not Kagi (this'll make sense in a bit) keep this in mind.

So, we get to the parts that I have the most issues with, which is hrkgs conversation

Another small petty note but

"Them's fightin' words asshole" is admittedly funny but WHAT LMFAO?????

Okay, here's my BIGGESTTTT gripe. Which is shocking but it bothered me the most.

That is not what Hirano says.

Specifically, Hirano says that "the sky suits Kagiura". The sky is SUCH an important mention here and it being completely omitted is actually nuts. Because without that, Hirano just looks like hes thirsting! Out of nowhere! Like what do you mean "damn he looks good like this" like WHAT? If i hadn't the context of other tls, I would think that he's talking about Kagiura's muscles or something because, while the sky is still a possibility with this wording, it's not the only one. "Like this" with his sleeves up? Smiling? Sitting next to you? Relaxed? What are we talking about here? This gives us nothing to work with KNOWING that the original text is saying that the Kagiura with the SKY as his backdrop suits him. Why omit the sky part????

We know Hirano is very fixated on the sky (pilot things whatever whatever). Hes always looking up at it. He sees contrails and distrails and clear skies and overcast, he pays a lot of attention to it. So when he says the sky suits Kagiura (and not vice versa) that's so freaking important. The one time Hirano notices the sky but isnt looking at it, hes looking at the person in front of him, with the sky as the backdrop, something he loves emphasizing someone he loves, them complementing each other. And you choose TO OMIT THAT?? WHY???

Again, reading this tl, I was like holy shit. Why is he just THIRSTING??

Completely ruins the meaning. And this was my favorite freaking page from this chapter. Its not that much to ask that you include the literal SUBJECT that was said right??? The SKY??? Come on.

Another small peeve, the way Kagiura says yeah I wanna kiss you annoys me. Its not incorrect by any means and I know it's just added flare and characterization but

It just sounds so... matter-of-fact. The tone is like "well DUH" when I didn't take it that way originally when he says "I wanna kiss you because I'm in love with you" and i talked about why when the chapter First came out

To me, this translation kinda... diminished that. But of course after this he still confirms that he doesn't want to DATE hirano because he wants to kiss him, etc. That part I'm fine with i think it was done very well.

ANOTHERRR nitpick I hate this wording "kinda has me craving it" this is CRAZY to read and it makes me convulse sorry. Hirano was ""repulsed"" by that touch?? Well I'm REPULSED BY THIS.

WHY R YOU SAYING IT LIKE THAT

Please refer to my reblog for the rest because I reached the picture limit 😒😒😒

[goobygnarp]

-

[gideonisms]

Having my weekly I should quit my job moment