#and I’m scared that I’m also starting to use it as a crutch when I’m putting clothes on before I leave

[me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink]

sometimes I’m scared that other people only think my outfits eat when they emphasize my waistline and make me look skinny and not when it’s an outfit that I put a lot of care into because it’s another form of expression for me

[lulunothulu]

“So you think I’m hot?” Pt. 4 (finale?)

Tyler Owens x Reader

Summary: A week after you’ve completely healed, you’re on your way to go chase a tornado with Kate and Javi when Tyler stops you. Seems like you’re owed something.

Content: flirting, FLUFF, FINALLY KISSING THIS MAN

A/N: Imagine this is the face he makes after you guys finally kiss and Boone is hyping him up 😭 brb gonna daydream about kissing him.

It had been a week since Tyler almost kissed you in your hotel room. And every day since then, he had been coming to your room and bringing you food, changing your bandage, and just spending time with you.

The more time you spend with him, made you realize that you really liked him. You could feel yourself fall for him and you didn’t mind it.

He was sweet, funny, and thoughtful.

You told him you were craving a cookie? The next day he’d have a dozen cookies for you. You wanted to go for a walk? He’d help you walk around on your crutches—then with a cane—until you got tired and he’d carry you back to your room. He even went with you to get the stitches removed, holding your hand when you were in pain and scared.

Hell, he even helped room service change your bedsheets to keep things fresh.

Never once did he try to kiss you. And by God, did you desperately want him to.

But no, he was a perfect gentleman, waiting until the week was up—and you were back to normal.

Now, you were getting the truck ready to get some last minute data on a tornado a few miles away. You’re back to everyone, Kate and Javi talking in front of the truck.

“I told you, we should go east,” Kate tells Javi.

“Yeah but what if you’re wrong?” Javi argues.

You pop your head out of the truck and yell, “Javi, she’s never wrong! Get your head out of your ass!”

“See, this is why I missed her,” Kate smiles.

“Of course you would,” Javi starts, rolling his eyes. “You always gotta team up on me.”

“You love us!” You say.

Javi looks past you before smiling. “Not as much as the cowboy.”

You turn to see what Javi was looking at to see Tyler jogging toward you, Boone and Lilly behind him.

You close the door to the truck and cross your arms over your chest, smiling faintly.

“Well, looks like you’re all better,” Tyler smiles when he reaches you. “I wonder who was your nurse, I’d love to thank them.”

You shake your head before placing your hands on your hips. “That would be you, dumbass.”

His smile widens at the teasing name. “Oh shit, you’re right.”

“So are you guys gonna chase that tornado a few miles east?” You ask.

“We were planning on it,” he tells you.

“Tyler has to do something first!” Boone says from behind.

You raise a brow before stepping closer to Tyler, a smile forming on your lips.

“Oh? And what’s that?”

Tyler hesitates, something you’d never seen him do. He scratches the back of his neck before taking a step closer to you.

“It’s been a week,” he starts.

“Yeah?” You smile, stepping even closer.

“And you’re all healed,” he continues, also taking another step closer, making you two touch chests.

“And?” You tease, wrapping your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as close and as tight as he can without hurting you.

“And I think we had a deal?” He says it as a question, almost daring you to say yes.

You glance over Tyler’s shoulder to find Boone and Lilly giving you the thumbs up with animated smiles. You chuckle at them before facing Tyler again. His eyes are expectant, waiting for your response.

“We did, didn’t we?” You softly agree.

Tyler nods, not wanting to say anything and holding his breath.

You pull him closer, practically a centimeter away. His breathing tickles the top of your lip, making you smile.

“So then what’re you waiting for?” You whisper, lips softly brushing his.

Tyler doesn’t answer. Instead, he presses his lips to yours, his arms wrapping around you so tightly you almost loose your breath.

His lips are soft and warm against yours. They move, searching and exploring yours and you make sure to match them. Your body is warm, it was already fairly hot out, but now? It was burning in the best way possible.

One of Tyler’s hand moves from your waist to the back of your head and you can’t help but smile into the kiss.

His tongue pushes past yours, wrestling to taste every inch of your mouth before finally settling back and enjoying the taste.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you hear Javi gag.

You and Tyler pull away, noses red and smiles plastered on your faces. You can’t stop smiling and you don’t want to either. You would kiss him for the rest of the day if you could.

“I’ll see you later?” Tyler asks breathlessly.

“Definitely,” you respond. “You know my room number.”

“I meant at the tornado sighting, but that definitely works too,” he smiles.

“Alright lover boy,” Javi says, pulling your arm before hoisting you onto his shoulders. “We gotta go get that tornado, Y/N.”

As Javi turns and walks you to the truck, you see Boone slapping and high fiving Tyler. “You finally did it my man!”

“I can’t believe you finally kissed her,” Lilly adds.

But all Tyler can do is beam at you.

He was definitely hot.

A/N: I felt like this was so short 😭 but I think I closed this out as much as I could. I have more Tyler x Reader fics coming (maybe I’ll keep the same couple? Let me know!!) Anyway, thank you for reading!! Check out my Masterlist for more! Also please feel free to leave me requests, my brain is slowly losing ideas 😂

Previous parts: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

[revelboo]

I see that you mentioned an ao3 account? Can I ask what the name is? I don't mind asking via private message since you had also mentioned warnings and wanting to keep minors away of course. I just absolutely love your writing and would love to follow it sksksksks

The A03 will still be RevelBoo, it’s empty for now until I start fleshing out the Starscream x Reader story.

Over It Now Pt 4

IDW Jazz x Reader

• As the days pass, he gets used to your routine. You work during the day. Doing what, he’s not sure, but he’s tails you daily to an office building in town. Once you’re safely inside, he heads back to the Ark. Back to his duties with that smiling mask firmly back in place. At night, he returns to follow you home. And some nights, you come outside, lingering on the step like you’re not at all certain if you want to speak with him or hide inside. You remind him of the wild animals he’s seen in the woods. Skittish and so fragile you’re almost ethereal. But those nights you do talk with him? You have such a soft voice, it lulls him, draining away the tension of the day. The stress of always carrying on an act. “I know you have better things to do than babysit me,” you say as you carefully lower yourself into the sun-faded rocking chair, mindful of the cast on your leg. “I’m fine.”

• “Nowhere I’d rather be,” he counters, smiling brightly when your eyes narrow suspiciously at him. Knows you think he’s a liar. He is, but for some reason, it bothers him that you know it. That you think less of him. “I like it here just fine.” Sitting in the driveway, his servos flex against his thigh so he doesn’t reach out. Knowing if he does, you’ll just want loose to go hide in your home. Out of sight and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

• That visor glows faintly as he tips his alien face up to the night sky and the silence spreads between you. Not uncomfortable, but peaceful and that bugs you. You’re getting used to the big alien. Getting to like the game of trying to figure out what’s true and what’s a lie, because he lies with a smile as easy as breathing. Teases and flirts shamelessly and that too is a nothing but lies. Like it’s all a game to him. “Do you ever tell the truth?” You ask.

• Helm tipping down to meet your stare, his door panels lift and fall in a shrug. “I’m always honest, doll.” With you, but he keeps that vulnerable part to himself. He owes you honesty, but lies are so much easier. Safer when no one can guess his motives. An obvious spy is a dead one and he’s taken that lesson to heart. “I adore these little conversations of ours.”

• And that’s your lying alien limit for the day. That not-quite mocking, teasing tone pushing your buttons. Disgusted with him and yourself for caring, you push up and grab your crutches. It’s cold out anyway and you’re suddenly very tired. Mostly of trying with him. You almost fall when he moves, a servo thumping against the door to keep you from pulling it open. Heart racing as your grip goes white knuckled on the crutches, you consider smacking his wrist with one. “Jazz, move. I’m tired.”

• He can’t. Not yet. If he does, you leave him alone again and he doesn’t want to be left alone with his memories. Doesn’t want to stress and worry about playing his part and keeping that facade firmly in place, because he’s so tired of it. Just a bit longer, that’s all he needs. He knows it’s not fair to take your time, he has no right to demand more of it. But, still. “Stay. Please.” Your shoulders hunch and he braces for anger. Annoyance. But then you just exhale and slowly limp back to the chair. He wants to reach for you, but he’s afraid to scare you off. “Thanks,” he murmurs, venting softly. Previous Next

[kiirotoao]

Protective Mike headcanons! To the whole main cast because a lot of my Byler headcanons involve Mike being protective already why not!

Mike will cross his arms and pretend that he’s not paying attention to Max when she skateboards beside him but after that fall in s2 he’s always ready to reach out and stabilize her in a split second

If Mike has any leftovers, he always offers his food to Holly first if she’s still hungry

He also makes sure she’s never unheard at the kitchen table. Lord save the soul who dares to speak over Holly because Mike will roar at them to SHUT UP and then smile at Holly like so what were you saying? :)

Lucas loves birds just because I’m projecting - and Mike doesn’t really care about birds but if Lucas sees a cool one nearby Mike won’t let anyone scare the bird off so that Lucas can have his fun

Mike is basically a crosswalk guard when he’s with anyone when they hit a crosswalk. Boy is extending his arms and holding the other person/people back, making sure the road is clear before they walk.

Mike is a notoriously slow biker when someone’s riding with him. In danger, he’s booking it, but otherwise, he’s vigilant and tries to avoid rocky paths

If anyone gets hurt near Mike, he’s going to become their personal crutch until they can move independently, sometimes even to the point of irritation. Like someone could hurt a toe and walk fine but Mike is right under their arm like hey you okay? He did this a lot to Dustin before s4 because I said so

Mike’s a little clumsy but if he’s carrying something hot or delicate or the like, he’s using both hands and shooing anyone in his way so he doesn’t drop that thing and hurt anyone

Going off his adorable binder of Will’s drawings, Mike keeps his school notes and papers (surprisingly to Lucas and Dustin) organized to the point where he can carry comics in perfect condition before he gives them away

When it’s raining, Mike makes sure that raincoat hoods are being affixed if they keep flying down - he started doing this to everyone in The Party after doing it to Holly so much

Mike gets so angry if people talk shit about his friends. This is canon, but I like to imagine that it extends to their families, too. Like he’ll throw Hopper under the bus but he’s actually really adamant that he’s a good person. Same with Joyce. You will see him after class if you even make a “your mom” joke about her

Mike is first to point out if someone is hurt and figure out the who, what, when, where, and why it happened and make sure they’re safe (Will’s first to notice which then leads to Mike interrogating)

[cassiopia-myopia]

Pricefield Break-Up

*Disclaimer that I’m not saying that DE went about Pricefield the right way*

*And also that’s its very unorganised*

I’ve been seeing people talking about the comics and alternate timelines in relation to the Pricefield Break-Up, and I wish I could remember where I saw it but, but I remember I read someone talk about how in the comics, Pricefield were apart for 2 years before they got back together and it’s likely why they get to have a healthy relationship. So I wanna put my take on it out there.

Firstly, I think they probably got very codependent. I think Max used Chloe as a crutch, and that Chloe likely let her out of a sense of debtitude. I think that, while they were living out their childhood dream of traveling the country side by side, bodyguard and photographer, they lost their sense of being individuals. You can’t have a partnership when you’re a single entity.

In cases where two codependents are together, “One partner invariably becomes counter-dependent, resisting attempts at control and manipulation by emotionally and sometimes physically distancing themselves. For the “chasing” codependent, this may mirror previous relationships in which they were the pursuer, and they increase their focus on their codependent object, attempting to compel and commit them. Life becomes extremely perplexing for the counter-dependent. They are not used to being chased, and while it may boost self-esteem in the beginning, it is not sustainable in the long run. So the tug-of-war continues, with neither party willing to confront the issues at hand, leaving the relationship in doubt and the participants exhausted.”

https://freefromcodependency.com/2022/09/05/two-codependents-together-could-it-ever-work/

I think Chloe’s biggest fear used to be being abandoned. Her father, Max, her mother, her teachers, Rachel. Everyone she’s ever loved or admired has left her in the dust. At the end of LiS1, she’s so passively suicidal that she’d rather just die and get it over with, let the world move on without her(because it already has). She doesn’t know that Max will be haunted by her for the rest of her life. Chloe thinks, ‘Max has abandoned me before. She’s capable of abandoning me, at any moment. She’s done so much for me- she’s suffering so much for me. Maybe it would’ve been better if she’d decided to go back and stop the storm. Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d died.’ I also think that watching Max overcome every obstacle that she’s been stopped by searching for Rachel, she starts to feel like Max doesn’t need her, even as Max continuously states the opposite.

Meanwhile, Max fears rejection. Max fears the consequences of her every action. She already had before the ability to rewind time. She was always too scared to talk, because what if she says the wrong thing? She was too scared to expose her photos to the world, because what if her life’s passion, her every thought, was crap? She was too scared to keep texting Chloe, because what if she was just making it worse? It was both worse and better after everything in Arcadia. She learned that inaction had as many consequences as any action, so she started speaking up, and sending out her photos, and she started clinging to Chloe. “You have all of the time in the world,” her parents would tell her. Max learned the hard way that that’s not true; even when you have any control over it at all. She clung to Chloe like nothing else. For a time, photography was difficult for her; the one thing consistent over her life, her one passion and talent. But Chloe was there, and she was willing to support her. She loved her and forgave her and said they were destiny; that they would always be Max & Chloe. This is relieving for Max, because Chloe has always been the only one to ever make her feel like she knows what she’s doing. That’s how it was in their childhood, and she was bereft without her all the way until she found her again.

With Chloe as the counter-dependent and Max as the chaser, I do think that taking a break would be the only way for them to have a healthy relationship.

[pommpuriinn]

Joohyung’s eventful time in Japan

ᤣ९ synopsis- txt was going to spend a month in Japan to continue their Japan leg of the tour including being on some Japanese tv programs for some performances. Unfortunately Beomgyu did get his ankle due to an accident, so all the performances will be only 5 members dancing while he sits on a chair on stage. Then an accident happens during rehearsals for the actual concert that leads to only 4 members dancing, and Beomgyu sitting on the stage.

ᤣ९ a/n- I’m finally working on Joohyung and I’m BEHIND LOTS of content for Joohyung 🙃. I also want to say that I don’t really see aespa’s Karina as the face for Joohyung no more, Joohyung is more alternative now then how much she gave a clean girl aesthetic during debut. Idk if that makes sense 😅 I will probably sometimes use Karina’s photo just out of habit

hair| nails

𝜗℘ Joohyung once again shock everyone with her short wavy haircut along with have it bleach blonde matching with Yeonjun and Beomgyu. Seeing the reactions was making Joohyung want to laugh, but she smack her lips trying to conceal

𝜗℘ Joohyung really protective of Beomgyu right now because he hurt his ankle and now has to use crutches to get by, so when they were walking through the airport she stay close by him and held his bag along with making sure fans didn’t get too close to them

𝜗℘ tragedy struck during concert rehearsals that scared everyone because during a quick run down of the concert Joohyung was chilling near the edge of the stage, when unexpectedly the little fireworks that come out set off without warning and some sparks went until Joohyung’s eye causing her to panic and feel a burning sensation in her right eye

𝜗℘ “fuck!” Joohyung covered her eyes and started to feel the pain in it. Everyone raced to her side, as not long she started dropping a few tears. “Let me see?” The on site medic asked, but Joohyung couldn’t open her eye due to the instant pain she felt whenever she tried to open. “We have to get her to a hospital.” The members were already feeling stressed with having only 5 perform now they’re dropping it down to 4 made it worse. They even wanted to go with Joohyung to the hospital, but their team wanted them to focus on reblocking the choreo once again

𝜗℘ the good news is Joohyung’s vision was ok and all she had to do was wear an eyepatch and put on the medicine on and around her eye everyday. The bad news is that the concert was already half way done when she got out of the hospital, but she was still determined to go and perform

𝜗℘ Joohyung ended up surprising everyone as she changed into her stage outfit and walked in during the group’s ment. “Noona!” Taehyun ran to her immediately. The other boys follow, sadly Beomgyu couldn’t run knowing he’ll get scolded by the staff and members. So he opted to admired from afar. After the members had their moment with Joohyung she then ran towards Beomgyu giving him his hug

𝜗℘ the concert ending in tears Beomgyu just feels regretful for injury himself and seeing his Jooie injured. Once the members realized his tears they all immediately ran towards him. Joohyung squatted down and hugged his waist while also letting out tears because she’s frustrated with everything happening

𝜗℘ throughout all the different performances they had she would decorate her eyepatch by adding cute stickers that she has collected thru all her shopping trips that she been going on

𝜗℘ Japanese hosts and artists have been constantly complimenting Joohyung’s short hair causing her to get flustered and thanking them. She’s been going viral for her curly hair along with clips of the boys playing, running their fingers through her hair, and even making cats ears with strands of hair that are already up

𝜗℘ as the concerts continued Joohyung tried not to get her nerves the best of her since the incident, but when the little fireworks came out Joohyung yelped and covered her ears. She was experiencing a panic attack in front of everyone, Joohyung kept on performing despite the panicked look on her face and slight tightness in her chest. Finally the song ended and Joohyung faced her back to the crowd turning to control her breathing, Kai grabbed a water bottle and came to Joohyung’s side helped by holding the bottle since her hands were shaking and while rubbing her back trying to comfort her

𝜗℘ with promoting their new Japanese album of course they had to go to Japanese shows that have other artists, and with that they meet different groups or soloists. While the Japanese girl groups would originally always gush about Joohyung’s boys, this time all the girls were gushing at Joohyung! Openly admitting how cute, pretty, and handsome Joohyung is. The camera caught Soobin and Beomgyu in 4K side eyeing the singers. Protective mode activated. It didn’t help that Joohyung has a natural charm in the way she speaks and acts, best believe Beomgyu was a bit sulky at the girls flirting with his Jooie

𝜗℘ even though Joohyung has an injured eye she had a pretty eventful time in Japan some goods things and bad things happened, but it wasn’t the worst pretty decent time

[consider-your-potatoes-mashed]

So as y’all know Ive started using crutches because of my chronic pain (and also my pots) but my mom is very dismissive of both my pain and all the other shit up with my body so I’m honestly kinda scared to go home for a couple weeks because I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable enough to bring and actually use my mobility aids even if I just use my cane. I just really wish my parents took my pain and fatigue and etc seriously instead of just saying “you just need to workout more” or “you just need to eat better” when I know that neither of those nor the THOUSANDS of other things they suggest won’t take away the pain I’ve been in my entire life.

I just want my parents to actually care that I’m in constant pain and not make me feel guilty for using things that actually help

Also wtf is up with abled people and thinking that using mobility aids will make those of us who use them worse??? Like I’m pretty sure me being able to walk more because of my crutches is better than me barely being able to walk a couple blocks without them. (Technically I can walk further than that but it starts to get really painful at that point)

[puppyvenom]

crutchie - akb vs matthew duckett !!!!

alternatively titled - cast disabled people jesus christ

listen i am having so many thoughts and feelings about crutchie and at the risk of annoying the fuck out of my partner i am putting them on here instead!

prefacing this by saying:

i do not speak for all cripples

matthew’s duckett was my first real introduction to crutch and yes i am probably biased because of it (because matthew was an absolute sweetie when i met him)

i do not actually hate AKB as much as i dislike his crutchie

★

i think the main problem i have with his crutchie (and i understand that it is not entirely his fault at all!!!!) is that it’s so sanitised in so many ways. it is so of its time and not really in a good way, it came about in a period where representation wasn’t a big focus and i very much understand that, but i also hate it.

it’s so easy for disabled characters to fall into this weird ,sanitised, almost infantilising position, where their struggles are shown (abuse from the delanceys that was directly because of his disability, the fact he’s more likely to be put in the refuge because he’s seen as ‘weak’), but they’re bound by this kind of happy-go-lucky persona where they don’t show any real anger or upset. it’s fuelled by the abled need to see disabled characters as some sort of inspiration porn. “he’s crippled but look how happy he is despite that!!!!!! if he can do it i can too!!” he has this air of innocence and can-do-no-wrong that kinda falls a little flat compared to all his friends of the same age, and whilst this wouldn’t be a problem in itself, it fits a repeating pattern of the innocent, docile physically disabled person that is shown so much.

i loved matthew’s crutchie so much because he was so much more than that. he was happy, he was kind and an big laugh, but he didn’t shy away from being truly angry or scared (in the finale when he is brought back and cuffs snyder) and he was still a bit of a dick, he felt a lot more like he truly belonged. one of my favourite examples is at the start of the show the first time we see katherine, he helps one of the boys (i can’t remember which one) steal something from darcy and keeps it on him through the rest of the show. he’s as playful and annoying as the rest of them, shooting paper balls at them with his slingshot (especially during the finale, i love him so much for that). he has an attitude. he has the energy of a boy who was raised on the streets and knows what the fuck is what.

and thats what i think changes him the most for me. it’s all the same script (?) but it’s all so different when you think about how smart crutch actually is. i think the biggest change is my idea of him specifically when he’s being so nice to weasel at the beginning, when all the boys are being annoying and dicks, crutchie is so sweet. i don’t believe he’s doing that because he’s just such a nice guy who can look past weisel and the delancey’s being assholes to them, i think he realised quickly how to play the game. he’s gonna get sympathy, he knows that, and he knows if he acts all innocent and is overly kind, that they’ll somewhat pity him and he can use that to his advantage.

i hate being pitied by most people, i hate being looked at differently, like i’m almost helpless. but i also know how to use it to help myself, i know when i can play the poor little cripple card to my advantage. and i fully believe crutch does the same.

edited to add because i forgot to add this entire section in sorry!!

when i say sanitised i also mean literally. as in they made him cleaner. specifically in the finale again when he’s brought back from the refuge, broadway crutch looks way too clean. he’s a little bashed up but he’s not dirty. he doesn’t look like he’s been battered and then subjected to awful conditions. it takes away the impact of his time at the refuge. when he got back in the uk production they actively were disgusted by how much he smelled, because he’d just got out of a place where he couldn’t look after himself for a multitude of reasons. he suffered in there, mentally and physically, and in more ways than one. he was not given nice clean clothes and a pat on the back, he was taken out and put right back into the mess without much time to check himself over, without any time to process or heal.

i just think it has a much bigger impact when you can see, from his actual appearance and the other guys’ reactions, how much he actually struggled in there. they were glad to have him back of course, but it really drove home the point of how badly it affected him.

and once again in that scene, you could see the fear on his face and the anger when he faced snyder and when he made a move at him. he was fucking scared of the man that had subjected him to all of that. even when he was being a little goofy and put on the hat to handcuff him, there was still that fear, and there was evidence to why.

(end of edit)

but like i said, i don’t think it is entirely akb’s fault or his intention, he almost definitely wasn’t aware of the way it came off and how it perpetuates stereotypes. but it’s just another reason why giving disabled roles to disabled people is so important. plus we know how to use mobility aids properly

★

shoutout to my beloved partner who proof reads my shit and also is the reason i am into newsies . thank u babie @fizzloves-blog <3

[strayheartless]

Here have some pre insanity -completely drop kicks canon- headcanons for Sephiroth (because playing crisis core broke my heart and I’m scared of ever crisis.)

(also ship warning for AGSCZ -don’t like don’t read!)

Young Sephiroth didn’t like having his hair brushed -especially by Hojo. He would scream bloody murder at any lab-techs that tried. In the end -because he got so strong and could actually hurt people when he got distressed- they left him to do it himself. This ended up in Sephiroth having to have his hair cut short at age 11 because he didn’t know how to brush it properly and was just causing a Matt under the top layer of hair.

Carrying on from this, as an adult the only person who has ever been able to brush Sephiroth’s is Cloud, because he’s so gentle and patient as he brushes out the knots that it doesn’t make Sephiroth feel like his scalps on fire.

Genesis is however the one who taught Sephiroth how to brush long hair properly.

Sephiroth can’t mix foods on his fork. He eats one thing at a time in a specific order and if he deviates from the order it ruins his enjoyment of the meal. With pasta dishes he will eat the pasta, then the meat/whatever it’s mixed with. He’s never outwardly complained or made a big deal, but Angeal has picked up on his distress a couple of times and now specifically plans meals accordingly.

My poor boy doesn’t do public speaking or reading out loud. His natural speech is soft spoken and full of crutch vocalisations. He can read about a 100 words per minute and can memorise whole books like a pro, but he lacks the actual ability to deliver vocally. It’s why Angeal usually handles public relations and motivating troops. Seph can relay battle plans swiftly and efficiently but he stumbles with knowing the right words to rally the troops.

His natural relaxed pose is having his foot hooked around the other ankle, with his arms behind his back and hands holding his elbows. Only his partners know this to be his true relaxed pose. It means he’s vulnerable enough to look soft and approachable with them.

He used to be secretly jealous of Gen’s childhood stuffed toy. It sits on the redheads bed and Seph started dropping it into his own laps when he sat on the bed. Genesis noticed this and took Seph on a date with Zack to pick out a stuffed animal he liked. Seph bitches that he’s not a child and that it’s embarrassing until he sees a silver jointed teddy in a hospital gown. It’s part of a collection where the money goes to under plate kids hospitals, and there’s something so familiar about the bear that Sephiroth starts crying. Gen buys it for him and it sits on Sephs bed or in his lap when he’s feeling fragile.

He doesn’t have a favourite partner. He loves Zack because the boy is cuddly and infectiously happy; He loves Gen because he’s deceptively kind but he can rely on him not to bullshit him when there’s a problem; he loves Geal because he’s so solid and allows Seph to lean on him in a way that Sephiroth has never had; he loves Cloud because he’s a spitfire with a heart of gold who’s not willing to back down just because someone’s bigger than him. He loves them so much some days he feels like he might actually die from it.

I have more but this feels like a good place to stop. I dunno man, Sephiroth is so multifaceted and sometimes I just like to think about the stuff that makes him human, ya know?

[oh-wild-necromancer]

Redacted listener headcanons! A lot of these are also things personal to me that I’ve puzzle pieced into the creatures

Cw: he/him Tank, the rest use they/them I think

The seer has chronic migraines from ignoring their powers, and they lose sight a lot because of it (literal sight)

Also shitty knee joints. Mobility aids baby! They personally like forearm crutches but use a cane mist of the time to carry shit

Angel loves to bite people, so does Tank. Chomp! For Tank it scared the shit out of Sam the first time, but he got used to it quickly. For Angel they love to do it to David, whenever they’re kissing and they kiss his neck he’ll just feel small bites from time to time

Tank has a Loz: botw special interest. He’s also autistic. No I do not take criticism it’s my listener character I do what I want

Tank LOVED wolf link as a kid. Had everything, the amiibo’s and several playthroughs of Twighlight Princess and multiple posters

Tank has this one really old and ratty wolf plushie that he physically cannot sleep without. It looks just like Gabe when he shifted, and he’s always been attached to it but ever since he passed he’s been extra possessive and attached to it, a form of coping.

Freelancer has an old decently worn but still presentable white seal plushie from the Monterey bay aquarium, they only really let Caelum play/cuddle with it when outside of their supervision, they don’t even let Gavin do it. Everytime they go to bed they usually hug it and sometimes hold it during movies they know they have a high chance of falling asleep to, and let me tell you Gavin adores the sight of them all sleepy and curled up holding the seal in their arms with their head on his lap

Babe has this teeennny Pomeranian plushie with a white hoodie with bear ears on it that they keep either in their purse or on the mantle, it fits right in their palm and they got it at a mall one day and it stuck with them ever since!

Honey has a labret lip piercing. They usually put silver jewelry in it but on special occasions they do gold

Honey is also pretty damn strong, and looks /really/ intimidating when they cross their arms and glower. Guy loves this.

Angel has scary dog privilege everywhere they go. If not David then Tank and if not Tank then literally anyone no one is getting them ever

Tank has hand tremors from nerve damage due to fights he’s gotten into with many different empowered’s, and he can’t do a lot of small detail work but he still loves drawing. His art style has just changed a bit, a lot more sketchy and unnerving sometimes! It took him a bit to relearn, but it was worth it.

Body piercer honey. This isn’t my headcanon but I wanted to mention it again (I don’t remember who I first found it from I’m sorry T-T)

Angel has played with the idea of getting Angel bite piercings many a time, especially after David started calling them that. Yes yes they do use it as a pun so many times and David acts sick of it but we all know he isn’t Actually mad

Freelancer near always looks super frazzled and tired during the school year, and keep their hair in a tiny short stubby ponytail with bits of hair poking out

Angel meows at David a lot. It’s their way of communicating!

Milo talks to Aggro like he’s A Guy while sweetheart LOVES baby talking to Aggro. He looks so confused everytime

If David ever denies Angel affection they give him puppydog eyes and whine. It’s like they’ve fucking perfected it

Babe does the thing with Asher where you like, move animals limbs around and make them do silly things

That’s all for now!!! First time doing this I hope anyone who sees this enjoys :]]] more coming soon perhaps. I have thoughts in my brain

[bellamyblake]

Part 37 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can't tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)

(moodboard by @star-sky-earth​​​​):

The way home is much harder than he aniticipated. He has to stop all the time and the guards positioned out in all the hallways and smaller intersections, watching him and the other workers intently, weren’t helping things.

Every time he tried to take a break and lean on a wall or support himself somewhere, he got a scowl from one of them, an angry grunt or a “Keep moving, mechanic” that forced him despite his pain to keep going. 

He coughed a lot but the more he approached his home, the better the air was but also the colder it got. It was such a big difference from the heat and stuffy air on the level to being here in the compartment hallways.

And that scared him and made him walk faster-if it was that cold out here, then it was even worse at their place and Clarke and Gus, God...

Clarke and Gus-

He hobbled over and fell to his knees, not once but twice. Sometimes some of the workers passing by helped him move up and he hated it though he couldn’t have done it without them, other times he just touched the wall with his hand and cursed his stubborness-Clarke had been right, he should’ve used the crutch more-his leg felt like it was burning from top to bottom and it kept buckling underneath him, refusing to hold his weight. That and the cut under his knee wasn’t helping things either-he knew he was leaving a trail of blood behind him but he couldn’t care.

He had to get home.

Finally, he burst through the doors and upon sensing the freezing air that made his breath come out in small white clouds, he pancked.

“CLARKE!” he called out “Clarke! Gus!” he coughed again, this time not because the air was too hot like in the site of the accident but because it was so sharpingly cold that it made his lungs contract painfully. “Clarke, I’m here!” he called out as he started limping to the bathroom.

He opened the door up with a bang and what he saw made him stop abruptly.

There they were, Clarke was curled up on the matress with his back to him, dressed up in the jacket he left her with and three of the blankets on top of her with a smaller lump pressed to her chest on one side and to the pipes on the other. The air was so cold he could see the mirror has frozen and there was some frost on the walls around him, except for the place where the pipes were just above Clarke and Gus.

This was bad. This was worse than ever before, he realized.

“Clarke! Gus!” he ran to them as much as he could, all pain in his leg forgotten, his cough ignored despite it being there, shaking his body. He didn’t matter, not now, all he had to make sure was they were fine.

He kneeled right next to her and grabbed her shoulder shaking it maybe a little too harsh.

“Clarke! Clarke, wake up! Clarke!” he saw her face was as white as the sheets underneath them and when he picked it up in his hands, he found it freezing cold. She had pressed Gus to her chest, pushed him under the big sweater and her shirt, undressed him so they could exchange body heat, so she could keep him warm and Bellamy couldn’t even get a good sight of his boy “Clarke! Clarke, oh god, no, come on, wake up!” he patted her cheeks but there was no responce and he felt his eyes fill with tears “Clarke! Clarke, please, Clarke! Gus! Gus, son-” he put his hand on his head and felt it warm, much warmer than Clarke’s but his boy wasn’t moving either.

In panic, he picked them up in his arms and held them tight, patting Clarke’s cheek gently. Then he leaned closer and felt her breath coming out of her mouth despite it being shallow and uneven and then his fingers slid to her throat and found a pulse-weak but again, it was there and he exhaled.

They were alive.

They didn’t freeze to death.

But they were bad, they were really bad. 

“Clarke, Clarke, please wake up!” he begged as he held her close to his chest and moved his hands up and down her arms and back trying to warm her up “Come on, princess, don’t give up on me now.” he was begging so hard as if she could actually hear him. He looked around and saw all the bottles that he’d warmed up were sprayed around them but were frozen now and the electric blanket was cold upon him touching it. God knows how and when they lost any source of meager heat. “Clarke! Please, please, come on, don’t give up on me now, you’re more stubborn than that, princess!” he leaned over and kissed her forehead holding her tight in his arms and begging whatever was out there in the universe to please not take her away from him.

And then-

A cough.

“Bellamy, you’re going to suffocate me.” he hears her say weakly and when he pulls away he finds her eyes barely open, staring up ahead drowsily, tiredly but they were opened, she was alive. 

“Oh, thank god!” he cried out, seeing his tears fall freely from his cheeks down on hers making her blink a few times “Thank god!” he kept mumbling and before he could stop himself, he leaned over again and kissed her on the lips. They were freezing cold against his but it seemed that this act alone made her warmer and soon enough she kissed him back slowly, softly. 

When he pulls away he cups her cheek and moves her up in his arms.

“You’re...you’re home.”

“We fixed it.” he says with a gentle smile, all events from last night rushing back into his brain only for him to push them back again-none of this mattered but her and Gus. “How is he?”

“He’s cold...very cold. I stripped him of his clothes and pushed him to my chest to wram him up but Bellamy I think that-” she looks down on Gus who remains unmoving “It’s bad. We need to wram him up, his feet are frozen.” Bellamy feels his hear trump in his chest and he carefully moves Clarke up and presses her against the pipes, feeling as they were growing hotter now, even warming up the wall around it. Soon enough he knew the electricity would swarm through all of Factory-he had to get up and take care of them, make sure they got better. 

He carefully peels off the blankets from her and Gus, unzips her jacket and gives her an apologetic looks when he does so, noticing her wince a little and cough herself but when his hand moves to pull the sweater up and he sees Gus’ tiny feet pressed to her side he loses his breath for a moment.

“Clarke-” he calls out to her and she leans forward her arms still wrapped around Gus tiny body around his back, pressing him to her chest in a death grip that had no undoing. “Clarke, his toes-” he picks up Gus’ feet and Clarke gasps when she sees the redness covering his feet-his first, second and third finger were an angry bright red, swollen and puffy and it went all the way like this to almost the middle of his little foot.

“Frostbite.” she whispers when she touches it herself and her movement from Gus’ back sends the kid wiggling in her arms. “He has frostbite, Bellamy.” she looks at him and meets his eyes, finding him in shock-he was so scared, the same way he was when Gus was sick and he came begging for her help “Look at the other one, come on-” she urges him, sending him into action knowing that this was the only way she could snap him out of it. 

Bellamy pulls her clothes away and carefully takes Gus other foot in his hand lifting it up enough so they could both see it under the light coming from the small lamp that remained in the corner, batteries almost running out. 

Bellamy sighs a little relieved when he doesn’t find anything too scary on his other foot-it was a little red and cold but his toes were fine.

“We need to check him out-” Bellamy mumbles “And you, we have to make sure you’re...you’re fine. I’ll-” he covers Gus and her back with the blankets and tries to stand up but he sways so violently he almost falls on top of them.

Then her eyes fall on his leg and sees the blood on his pant leg.

“You’re hurt!” she exclaims and finally takes a better look at him seeing him covered in saw and dirty from head to toe, barely breathing but still struggling to do his best.

“I’m okay.” he cuts her off “I’ll go turn the heating on, then I’ll come for you guys, alright. Just...try to keep up a few more minutes.” he begs and before she can protest, he’s already limping outside.

He’s panicking, dying on the inside but he cannot do this-he can’t be weak now so instead, he gets into action-he turns all radiators on to the highest possible point, not caring if he’ll have to pay extra rations for that, then turns all the lamps and heats up water in a big pot on the stove since the hot water from the sink hasn’t gotten to a higher degree yet and he also puts in some formula because he knows he’ll need to feed Gus, that it may even help him warm up.

When he goes back to the bathroom he finds Clarke dozing off again and he carefully undoes the blankets and the jackets again and picks Gus up in his arms first.

“Here you go, my boy, here you go, easy-”he takes Gus’ frozen limp body in his arms and the kid stirs for the first time but doesn’t wake up. He’s so small in this moment, so tiny in his arms just like when he was as a baby-he’s curled up on himself and he doesn’t even shake which means the cold had taken all control of his body.

Bellamy commands himself to be strong as he carefully takes him back to the now much warmer living room. He puts him on the bed under the blankets and places six hot water bottles around him before going back for Clarke.

She’s not much better and she’s coughing loudly and sickeningly, mirroring his own state, which scares him even more.

“Bellamy-” she says through ragged breaths, her fingers, her toes, her face-she’s all so damn cold. 

“Shh, princess, I’ll take care of you, I promise.” he gently pushes her on the bed next to Gus and brings more hot water bottles, almost falling in the process of doing so.

“Bellamy, we need to take care of this cut.” she tries but he shakes his head.

“It’s good, it doesn’t hurt and it’s not deep.” he lies pushing her down “Please don’t move, you have to warm up.” but Clarke’s relentless and tries to move on her elbows though she’s barely able to before she falls on the pillows with a thud. It’s much warmer now in the room and he knew soon enough they’d feel a little better but after a night like this, the chill didn’t leave your body for days after. Clarke was already weakened from not eating enough and trying to adjust to the Factory station conditions-if she got worse now, if she got sick, he would never forgive himself.

“Bellamy-”

“Clarke, please!” he begs her pushing her down again and bringing in the big duvet, adjusting it over both her and Gus. The kid hasn’t moved at all since Bellamy found them and he was scared senseless but he was pushing all his panic down and forcing himself to just keep going.

He was filling in the bottle of formula when Gus stirs and cries out, sending Bellamy rushing there in a second.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, my boy, it’s okay!” the kid struggles under the blankets and tosses left and right before he looks up at his dad all confused and somewhat delusional. “Hey, Gus, I’m here.” 

“Dada?” he asks and Bellamy exhanges a look with Clarke as he feels Gus’ forehead.

“He seems feverish.” he tells her just as confused-the kid was cold up until half an hour ago and now he was burning up like when he was sick.

“That’s the frostbite-” she tells him after another cough shakes her too “Side-effect.”

“Dada, I’m cold!” Gus cries out, he’s so scared and shaky that it breaks Bellamy’s heart “Dada!” he reaches out with his tiny arms and Bellamy picks him up immideately, deciding that he himself was warm enough to keep him there but still throwing one of the blankets on top ot the boy’s tiny shoulders. 

“I know, I know you are son but we’ll warm you right up, okay?”

“Dada, please hold me!” he begs “Don’t let me go!”

“I won’t, I promise that I won’t.” Gus speech comes slurred and his head hangs over Bellamy’s shoulder-the boy’s limp in his arms, very weak and when Clarke sits up and shakes the dizzyness off herself with a shake of her head, he doesn’t stop her.

“We need to check him up, see if there’s any more of this.” she whispers sitting up in bed and pulling the blanket down a little. Gus whimpers immideately and wraps his arms tighter around his dad’s neck.

“Hey, it’s okay we just need to see how you're doing, kiddo.” Bellamy whispers stroking his head over and over again. Gus doesn’t say anything but just whimpers when Clarke pulls up at his clothes, checks his back, his butt, his arms, then Bellamy pulls him away and tugs the shirt on the front to see his chest and stomach. Gus cries now, begs them to stop and Bellamy’s heart breaks when they do this to him but he had no other way of checking him out.

“Hey, Gus, can you tell me what hurts?” Clarke asks carefully when the kid is a little calmer in his dad’s arm for just a moment. The tears keep streaming down his face, he’s lying in Bellamy’s chest in a baby-like position, gripping his shirt with his fingers and burying his face in his chest. 

“My foot.” he mumbles “My foot urts, dada!” he tells Bellamy and he grips him tighter.

“I know, son, we’ll wrap it up and make it better, okay?” he looks at Clarke for confirmation “Doctor Clarke will fix it. She can fix anything, you know? She’s the best doctor on the ark.” Bellamy keeps rambling rocking Gus a little in his arms while Clarke stands up, wobbly herself and heads to grab some bandages and that oil that she brought ages ago for when she wrapped his wounds after the bombings. Bellamy had kept it hidden in the corner and not used it, leaving it for emergencies like this one. 

“Here, you go, baby boy.” she comes back and sits by Bellamy and Gus. The kid’s whiny, sad, annoyed, all at once. The night had been horrible for them and he was in pain and anxious all at once. 

Clarke wraps his fingers one by one and Gus squirms and begs in his dad’s arms, wanting to be released and when it gets to be too much Bellamy reaches and grabs Clarke’s hand.

“Wait...give him a moment.” he begs and picks Gus up, walks to the stove and takes the bottle of formula he had filled. He talks to him in Tagalog now, soothing him, rubbing his hand up and down his tummy and making him quiet down. Gus is still anxious and scared but he settles, especially when Bellamy gives him the bottle and he starts sucking on it.

The room is warm enough now that his bare foot out in the open is not such a problem and Clarke watches as Bellamy walks around the room with Gus and rocks him carefully as the kid ate.

And then...then he sang.

He leaned his back against the kitchen sink, held him, stared at him and he sang. It was quiet, gentle, his voice was hoarse and steady despite the tears in his eyes-Clarke couldn’t understand the words, they weren’t English but they were soft and they threatened to put even her to sleep.

She was mesmerized by seeing him there like this, holding his son against his chest, feeing him and singing to him-he was covered in dirt from head to toe, hadn’t even had the chance to clean or wash himself up but he was there for her, for his son. 

Gus’ body got limp in his arms and soon enough the kid was asleep, so Bellamy carefully maneuvered him back to the bed, to her and watched as she finished wrapping his leg.

“What will happen to him?” he asks quietly, voice breaking now.

“We have to keep it warm and wrap it up like this, give him some pills for the fever and not let him walk on it until it gets better.” she explains as she finishes up the bandage and carefully puts the sock back on Gus’ foot. “There’s this special paste for frostbite. If we can get it somehow, it’ll help him heal faster.”

“I’ll find the rations.” he promises tightening his grip on Gus’s body “They should pay me some tomorrow and I’ll get it right away.”

“Bellamy-”

“Do you think it’s expensive?” he cuts her off before she can argue with him.

“Not that much, I don’t know. Maybe at least fifty points.” he swallows hard at that-this would probably be the amount he’d get tomorrow which meant if he spent it all on medicine, he couldn’t bring any food home. 

But maybe he could get to work and earn extra, at least enough to bring a warm dinner for Clarke and Gus. Yes, he’d do that. Sinclair’s plan to let him rest would have to be put on hold-this wasn’t happening, not until both of them were better.

“Do you think that he’ll lose....that he’ll-” Clarke grabs his arm and squeezes it tightly, looking into his eyes, expression determined and set on figuring this out.

“No.” she insists “I won’t let that happen.” Bellamy almost whimpers when she says this but he hides his pain away from her, bows down and kisses Gus’ forehead as he kept a tight grip on him and whispered reassurances in his ear, even though he was asleep.

Clarke reaches over and picks his face in her cold hands.

“Hey-” she strokes the dark circles under his eyes and forces him to come out in the open instead of hide away from here “We’ll figure this out, Bellamy.” she assures him “Together.” he smiles a little and leans forward just as she did as if he could read her thoughts and when their lips collided she felt safe for the first time since last night. He moved his hand to cup her cheek too and when they pulled away because both of them were coughing now, he rubbed his nose against hers she felt his breath fan her lips.

“Clarke-” his voice came out a little more broken than he probably intended to but he stared into her eyes again before he continued “Thank you. For keeping him safe.” 

Clarke felt her whole being light up at that, despite all the pain, despite her body shaking all frozen to her bones, despite the shiver that ran down her spine and the fact that she just had the most horrible night of her life.

“You know I always will.” she smiled as she said it and he exhaled, having held his breath this entire minute, wondering if he maybe said or did the wrong thing and then he leaned in for another kiss.

This one was messy, too damn messy but it was filled with love and passion. It’s like this entire time they couldn’t truly breathe without each other, their bodies freezing not just from the cold but the fact that they were separated and only now were they truly coming together-igniting the fire in them back up and bringing each other to life.

They kissed like this for a while, a little awkwardly, a little too messily since none of them were in a good physical condition, until Gus stirred in Bellamy’s arms and they both pulled away at the same time. 

She coughed a little again and he furrows his eyebrows.

“Lay back down, rest. I’ll wash up and make food.”

“No, you’re hurt-” she tries to stop him and gestures at his leg “I have to patch it up.”

“It’s not a big deal” he promises squeezing her hand as he easily overpowers her to lay back down on the bed  and gently puts Gus next to her, covering both of them with the blankets.

They were much warmer now, he could tell by just touching them but he still adjusted the blankets on both their sides and kissed their foreheads before standing up and heading for the bathroom. 

He leaned on the sink and breathed heavily, trying to let everything that had just happened to him today sink through-he was bone tired but he had to keep pushing, it was just the beginning of the day and he had to take care of Clarke and Gus, put all his efforts and strength there, so he could get to work tomorrow and figure it out.

His son was hurt...so hurt-frostburn was something Bellamy never wanted to happen to him and yet it had.

He let his tears roll and fall in the sink as he leaned over and pushed his shirt off his head. 

For a moment he couldn’t breathe, not because he was hurt or because of all the bad air he’s inhaled today but because his son almost froze to death, the woman that he loved was passed out from the horrible conditions in the station and he pushed himself to his limits to fix a giant engine, so they can get warm again yet he’s never felt more helpless in his life.

He takes out his clothes as he feels the anxiety bloom in his chest and when he turns on the shower, he cries so they wouldn’t hear him-he breaks down in a way that he hasn’t since Gina had died but he knew he had to do it now, here, so when he left the bathroom, he could go back outside and be the person that they needed him to be.

Somehow his tears won’t stop, though-it’s like a river pouring out of him, even when he puts on his shirt, even when he sits on the toiilet lid and wraps his leg in a tight handmade bandage after pouring some moonshine on it-it wasn’t that deep, he thought, he wouldn’t bother Clarke with it-all he had to do was hide it.

Hide all of his pain away, cover himself in big ragged clothes and push forward for his son whose toes and foot were frozen, for Clarke who was now coughing much like him.

All clean and freshened up, he comes back to the room now much warmer than it has probably been all week and checks on them-Gus is sound asleep, curled up with his back to Clarke’s side and she’s spooning him, her hand thrown over the baby boys' middle. Bellamy gives them a fond look and strokes their heads as he kneels down to place gentle kisses on their foreheads.

He decides to check if there’s something in his ration’s card-it was Monday, so something from last week’s work must’ve come through and he carefully slips in his shoes and throws on his jacket. This time, though, without shame, he takes his crutch-he wouldn’t be that stupid to pass out somewhere in the hallway outside, not when others depended on him.

There’s a machine in each bigger hallway where you could swipe your card and check your balance before going in the mess hall and when Bellamy does it, his eyes widen a little-he had fifty, exactly as much as he’d need for Gus’ frostbite medicine.

But that meant nothing would be left for food and they were literally out of bean cans or formula. And then he hears a familiar voice come from behind him, a soft hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Bellamy?” he turns around to find his mom, staring up at him worriedly but also relieved, she throws herself in his arms and squeezes him tightly “Oh, thank God! I was so worried when the electricity stopped last night, I knew they’d call you out to help.”

And then the dam that has been threatening to burst for weeks now, finally does.

“Mom-” he cries out and buries his head in her shoulder “Oh, mom-” he allows himself to sob this time-this big supposedly strong man collapses into his mom’s arms and hides in her chest, crying like a baby.

“Bellamy, oh, son-” she runs her hand through his curly hair “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s alright.” he tightens his grip on her and hopes they don’t attract any attention because right now, he’s ashamed of himself, ashamed of his weakness. He could do better but all he managed to was cry his ass out and fail to provide enough for his son. “It’s okay, what happened, Bellamy?” she pulls his head away and cups his face, wiping the tears from his face. He’s flushed and shy just like Gus got when he was embarrassed but Aurora simply stands on her toes, kisses his forehead and takes his good hand. 

“Come on, come here, let’s talk.” she helps him to the nearest bench and they both sit down his mom’s hand never leaving his. For a moment he feels guilty that he never thought about her last night-that his focus was solely on Gus and Clarke or saving Miller or fixing the engine and not her.

“Are you...are you okay, mom?” he asks as the guilt crawls through his entire self.

“Am I okay?” she asks confused “Bellamy, I’m not the one having a breakdown in the middle of the Factory hallways.” he looks around whips his head left and right to check if there are many people going around but the place is surprisingly empty.

“Why is there no one going to work?”

“Didn’t you hear? The councilmen announced a day off for everyone this morning so we could...as he so eloquiently said-recuperate.” Bellamy huffs at that and wipes at his teary eyes, brushing them away with the back of his jacket and coughing a little “What happened? Talk to me.” she prompts him and he winces a little as he begins telling her everything from Miller getting hurt last night to coming home and finding Clarke and Gus in the bathroom, to his boy getting frostbite.

“How bad is it?” she asks trying to keep her voice steady but he could see she’s angry too.

“A few toes, his first ones and half of his leg.”

“Has the skin peeled off?”

“Yeah...a little.” 

“Anywhere else, his fingers or his hands? His face?” he shakes his head and Aurora exhales at that. “And Clarke?”

“No, she’s okay...just very cold and coughing somewhat but I’ll give her some of my syrup.” Aurora nods and squeezes his hand again but he’s too ashamed to look up at her-feeling like he failed her as well because she raised him to do better, to take better care of his family.

“You’ll need the Frostbite paste for him.” she announces and he whips his head surprised at her “It costs fifty ration points.”

“How do you know?” 

“Because you needed it too when you were a kid.” his mouth drops a little and she gives him a serious look “What? You don’t think you had gone through that as well? Bellamy, almost every child in Factory suffers from frostbite.”

“But...I don’t remember it.”

“You were a baby, your dad had just passed and one night they turned the electricity off without any of us expecting it to. I was asleep with you in bed I didn’t even notice at first until I woke up hours later and you were so cold, I thought you were dead.” his eyes widen at that realizing just now that his mom, as always has gone through the same things he was as a parent “Your fingers and your toes almost all got red and started peeling.”

“How did you...how did you get the rations?” it’s her turn to look away for a moment before she lifts her head up and juts her chin proudly.

“I did what I had to, Bellamy.” and he winces as he hears her voice and looks away-he knew...of course he knew, he wasn’t stupid. He’s reminded of that time the guards thought he was Clarke’s stripper when they went to Alpha because so many politicians or rich folks would hire poor factory men or women for sex and pleasure just for a meager amount of rations. For them fifty points was nothing, absolutely nothing, they could throw them in the wind in a second and not think about it twice but for Aurora, for Bellamy, it was the difference between their child being crippled and getting better. 

He knew his mom had done it, or at least suspected so but they’ve never really talked about it until after Gina’s death when Bellamy was very desperate for rations and was about to offer himself the same way his mom had before.

There was a place to go for so you can be picked out-a small hallway in GoSci that the guards avoided. Everyone knew about it but nobody did anything for it-prostitution was officially forbidden on the Ark or so the law said but it may be the only one that was broken most often and nothing, absolutely nothing was done about it.

As it suited the politicians on the Ark.

Aurora had caught Bellamy then, found him, dragged him back home and given him a speech-he wouldn’t repeat her fate. She’d help him with food, with formula, they’d take extra shifts, they’d manage but not this...never this, she said.

He had felt like a teenage boy caught sneaking around then but had agreed with a careful quiet nod. It was different times then though-he had strength then, he wasn’t hurt-now...now he was at a loss.

“I know that and I’m grateful but I wish you didn’t have to.” Aurora scoots closer to him and wraps her bony arm around his waist rubbing his back gently.

“We all do what we have to do for our children.” she says softly and looks up at him carefully “It will be okay, Bellamy. He will recover.”

“I wish he didn’t have anything to recover from in the first place, mom.” Bellamy blurts out maybe a little angirly and forces himself to breathe and tame his anger but it just turns into yet another cough that shakes his entire being and he hates it all. “I wish he didn’t live here...have all this pain in his life.”

“Nobody wants their child to be in pain, Bellamy but whether he’s in Alpha or Factory, you cannot raise him in a glass box and prevent him from ever interracting with the world-he will run like every kid, fall down and get scrapes, he will get sick with the flu, he will get cold and maybe have frostbite.”

“Alpha children don’t get frostbite.”

“But we aren’t them, never have been, never will be.” Aurora says a little more sternly, bringing him back to reality “You’re angry and I understand that-you watch your son and you see him suffer but let me remind you that I too watch my son suffer, every day.” his face falls at that and he turns to face her.

“Mom-” she cups his cheek and runs her thumb under his eye.

“Bellamy, we all do our best but sometimes we cannot fix everything. Do you think my heart doesn’t skip a beat every time I see you limp or cough? Do you think I don’t spent my days at work and nights at home wondering if you’re okay, how much pain you’re in and how hard you were trying to push through it despite it all?”

“Mom, I’m okay.”

“No, you aren’t. You got hurt. Permenantly.” he bows his head down and swallows hard a little “You’ll be like this for the rest of your life. I will watch you suffer for the rest of your life. My son...my beautiful boy.” he covers her hand with his and looks into her eyes finding the pain that he had when he looked at Gus mirrored there.

“I’m getting used to it.” he whisper softly “I will...I will be okay eventually.”

“Do you ever wish upon Gus to get used to pain?” he shakes his head stubbornly and grits his teeth.

“Gus will get out of here. He won’t live the life we do, he won’t raise his own children in this hell. I won’t allow it.” Aurora sighs and lets their hands drop to her lap. She wraps her bony white fingers full of tiny needle holes that mapped her palm and made her mirror, in a way, the freckles on his face.

“Is that why you won’t tell me what’s happening with your job?”

“My job?” he tries to sound surprised but it comes out as a weak excuse instead and the motherly scowl returns to Aurora’s face making him bow his head down like a five year old kid who didn’t do his homework.

“I know something’s changed. I met Miller the other day and asked him about you. He said you’ve been relocated.” Bellamy closes his eyes and lets his fingers squeeze hers tightly “That and the cake for Gus’ birthday, the P.S said someone named S send it and not Williams.”

“Mom-”

“What’s happening, Bellamy?”

“I can’t talk about it.” he mumbles barely audible as he coughs again a little and hides his face in his elbow briefly while it passes. Aurora reaches over for his forearm and pulls it away, turning his face by his chin to her and staring into his sad broken eyes. 

“You’re not okay. And it’s not just your back or leg. You’ve been worse lately.”

“Mom, I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“I’m literally forbidden from doing so.” her eyes widen at that, her hand falls to her side and he sees fear in her eyes for the first time in a while.

“No...” she shakes her head “No, tell me you didn’t do this.”

“Mom-”

“Level 11?” she calls out a little too loud and Bellamy jumps somewhat scaredly looking around them for anyone passing by but the square was mostly quiet except for a few workers that were walking towards the pharmacy and mess hall hallways at a safe distance from them.

“Mom, quiet-”

“I won’t be quiet!” Aurora hisses back “What did you do? What did they offer you?” he sighs again-he knew she’d figure it out. Though nobody officially talked about level 11 on Factory everyone knew that there was a team trying to assemble it from its broken state and perhaps rebuilt it. It was a sort of myth going around amongst workers-they said only Alpha mechanics went there but they were too incompetent to rebuilt it and Factory would never regain the electricity accessability it had before because the chancellor wouldn’t allow it and that he left it broken and closed on purpose. And yet...there was gossip, some people saying they saw workers going up there with the elevators, generals, councilmen and even the chancellor himself but they never stayed long because it was dangerous. 

“Mom, I told you, I can’t really talk about it.” he says through teeth as he keeps looking around “I’m not allowed to.” the fever with which he says it makes her back down a little but the light in her eyes, that angry motherly scold mixed with fear never disappeared.

“You’ll die out there.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’re risking your life over nothing.”

“I’m risking my life so that what happened last night doesn’t ever repeat!” he raises his voice a little but tones it down when he remembers that they’re still out in the opened “I’m risking my life so that my son doesn’t ever wake up with his toes red and peeling from frostbite or coughing his lungs out or god forbid,mom, dying!”

“What happens when you die?” she counters “What happens to that boy if you get killed out there, huh?”

“I could get killed anywhere, I told you what happened to Miller last night-nothing in Factory is safe, no matter the level you work on.” Aurora shakes her head angrily still disagreeing with him. “Is it a bigger risk? Yes, but it’ll be good for him.”

“Good how? Rations? Food?”

“Yes. I can afford everything he needs-he has to gain weight you know Clarke said he’s small and I can buy him clothes and shoes, raise him better, give him the opportunity, when he grows up to study for the medical exams if that is what he wants to do, give him access to the library in Alpha, to better teachers, a better life.” Aurora’s eyes fill with tears but she’s biting her lip in a quiet way of protesting “I can actually do this, mom.” there’s hope in his voice and it breaks her, it breaks her heart so much “I can save those rations even if we fix the Level sooner, before he’s older, I’ll have enough for him.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What happens to you? To your state of being? To your leg and your lungs?” he opens his mouth to protest but she raises her hand “Everyone knows the air out there’s bad, that’s why nobody wants to work on it, that is why they seek you out because you are a Factory boy whose life being lost won’t matter.”

“Mom-”

“You’ll die before you’re forty, Bellamy!”s he cuts him off “All your grandeur plans for Gus and his future...” she shakes her head angrily “Do you think you’ll live to see him actually graduate? Start work? Will you ever be alive long enough to maybe meet his grandchild?” Bellamy pulls his hand away from her and rests it over his bad knee, squeezing it tightly.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” Aurora says softly now “It does to Gus and I am sure as hell it changes everything for Clarke too.”

“Clarke will be okay.” he huffs it out but she doesn’t miss the way his cheeks blush.

“Clarke is in love with you and you are in love with her.” at that his eyes widen and he turns around to meet her eyes again-it was one thing for him to tell Clarke he loved her but for his mother to have seen it before they’ve ever told her so was...well, it made his heart flutter all over again. He smiles a little and feels his cheeks burn “You are together, aren’t you?” she prods softer now and he sneaks a look at her, nodding slowly “Good.”Aurora determines with ease and conviction.

“Is it?” he asks fearfully like a child looking for approval.

“Bellamy, I haven’t seen you look at anyone like this since Gina but it’s not just that...” she runs her hand up and down his arm motherly again “You seem...happier, lighter around her and I know she’s been through a lot but she has that same look on her face as well.”

“I am...I am happy with her.” he admits feeling his whole face blush “But I ....I also feel a little guilty.”

“Because of Gina?” he nods.

“And Gus. I don’t want him to think that I don’t love his mom anymore. I always will.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” Bellamy shakes his head and rests his back on the bench, stretching out his bad leg with a wince that Aurora doesn’t miss. It was a good thing he took his crutch but he should be at home resting, not out here. 

“It’s...just happened recently, we wanted to give ourselves some time before we eased him into it.”

“That’s smart.” he looks at her glad for her approval and she smiles a little “I’m sure he will be thrilled, Bellamy. He loves her so much already.” Bellamy shrugs a little, still seemingly lost in his thoughts and the argument they’ve had before “I still think you should tell Clarke about Level 11 and that you should decline the offer.”

“I can’t. I have already started and there’s no going back now.”

“Even if there was, you wouldn’t take it, would you?” she asks seriously and he shakes his head in confirmation “You’re bent on it.” he nods staring at the floor ahead, afraid to face the angry beast that his mom could be when he was being idiotic.

Still, he reaches out for her hand and waits for her to take it before he swallows hard after yet another cough and dares a look at her.

“You won’t hate me for it, will you?”

“Oh, Bellamy-” her voice breaks a little now and she pushes his head to her shoulder again holding him in a tight yet awkward position that made his back hurt but he found that he didn’t mind it one bit-being held by his mom that was the best feeling in the world, one that he never wanted to lose ever again. “You are my son, I could never hate you.”

“But you don’t support me?”

“I don’t support your desicion but if you ever need me and my help, I will never turn my back to you.” she promises kissing his head and pulling away from him a little. Now both of them were crying and Bellamy was unabashedly brushing his teary cheeks with his sleeve. Aurora nervously moved her hands all over his head-swiping away the curls from his forehead, then to his cheeks which she cupped softly, then to his shoulders which she squeezed. “Now let’s go get this medicine and go back to your boy. I will help out with the rations.”

“Mom, no-”

“I’ve saved some lately, Bellamy.” she assures “Got more requests for birthday girl dresses. Apparently Alpha makes a celebration the size of our Wheat dayс when someone’s becoming of age.”

“But-”

“Stop arguing with me, Bellamy Blake and let’s go.” she urges him, helping him stand up and handing him his crutch “You listened to Clarke for once.”

“I took it myself.” he admits “Wasn’t sure I’d be able to walk without it.” he can only ever be honest with her about his pain like that and Aurora appreciated it even if it made her heart ache for her son.

They walked slowly to the pharmacy hallway and when they went there, they found a long queue already-many people, some of whom were barely standing on their feet like Bellamy-with severe frost bite and patched up hands and even faces, or others who coughed constantly even worse than Bellamy were lined up on the only desk they had opened.

“This will be a while.” he huffs a little annoyed as he leans his back on the wall and squeezes his crutch tightly. There were whole families here, some with their crying babies who were white or almost blue faced, others demanding they were examined by the doctor too and who were relocated to the office in the end of the hallway where Bellamy knew one of the older doctors-a seventy year old woman from Arrow who had somehow gotten a degree back in the day-were examining the severe cases. “Why don’t you go get food and then swing by to check on them while I get the medicine? I don’t want them to be alone.”

“Were they asleep when you left?”

“Yes, but Gus could wake up from his pain.”

“I don’t want to leave you, though, not like this.” Aurora insists as she dragged her look over him-he was in a bad shape himself, already barely standing on his feet and coughing constantly. “We’ll stay together. Clarke is with him and if he needs something she’ll take care of it.”

“But, what if-”

“No, Bellamy. We’re staying together.”

And there was a reason for that as Bellamy later realized. It took them over an hour to actually get to the desk behind which there was a young woman from Farm who was dressed in a white coat going over prescriptions and ration points and trying make sense of it all. The poor girl was so discheveled that Bellamy felt bad for her but he was actually a little relieved that she was the one on shift and not the older meaner pharmacist who would always argue with him about the dosage of his pills or the syrups.

“What can I do for you guys?” she asks when she pushes the paperwork aside and gives them a look, smiling a little despite the stress she was under.

“We’d like some frostbite paste.”

“For children or adults?”

“There’s a difference?” Aurora asks confused and the girl nods.

“Adult one’s stronger but it could still be used on a kid if you applied less. I have however only two child ones left so they cost more.”

“Shit.” Bellamy curses “How much?”

“Seventy.”

“I have fifty.”

“We’ll add mine too.” Aurora says sternly gripping his hand “We’ll take it. Also add two bottles of cough syrup, please.”

“Mom, no we can’t-” he tries to protest coughing a little as he spoke, proving her point that he needed this. 

“Quiet, kid.” she scolds him and takes out her blue ration card setting it on the counter next to Bellamy’s “We’ll take some bandages too and give us some Tylenol as well.” she adds and the girl goes around to the shelves behind her, picking everything up.

“Mom!” Bellamy hisses at her “We cannot do this! You can’t spend all your savings on medicine.”

“I can do what I want since I am the parent and I decide what is best for my child and his son.”

“But-”

“Shush!” she actually scolds him and makes a few of the people behind them tern and smile at the exchange whilst Bellamy felt like an angry teenager who was all grown up but had to still listen to his mom because she apparently, said so.

“Which card am I charging this to?” the pharmasict asks when she brings in everything they’ve asked for and puts it in a big brown bag. 

“Mine!” Aurora pushes it to her but Bellamy covers her hand and puts his foot down.

“Both!” he tells the girl and slides in his too. Aurora opens up her mouth to argue now but Bellamy cuts her off.

“You forget that you are my mother too and this isn’t a one-way street. You take care of me but I also take care of you.” Aurora grits her teeth despite wanting to argue with him and then the girl interrupts them.

“Sorry, but I can also charge all of it on your card, sir, if you’d like?” she turns to Bellamy “You have more than enough points.”

“What? That’s not possible. I only had fifty when I last checked.”

“You were transferred a hundred and fifty additional points about forty minutes ago according to my server.” she tells him staring at her computer screen and squinting her eyes trying to make out the numbers “It’s your paycheck for the last two weeks it seems.”

“But...there must be a mistake. I was sick and off for a while and I-”

“It is what it is, sir,” the girl adds tiredly, maybe even a little annoyed “would you like me to use your card or the missis too?” Aurora opens her mouth to argue but he takes her hand and squeezes it in quiet protest.

“Just mine.” he insists and the girl swipes Aurora’s back on the counter while she finishes his transaction. “Keep them, mom!” he insists but she shakes her head and takes the bag from the girl so he can shove his card back in his front pocket and walk off with his crutch.

“We’re going to mess hall and buying food.” she states “And this time, I’m paying.” he wants to argue with her but he knows better. She felt guilty that she insisted on the cough syrups and the bandages when he only wanted the frost burn paste and he’s well aware that he won’t change her mind about it so he just follows her slowly and tries to force himself not to stop whenever he felt out of breath.

His entire body still hurt starting from his bruised ribs to his back and all the way to his knee and even his fingers. There were moments, especially in the morning or when he overworked himself when even his foot felt paralyzed and he couldn’t feel much of his toes. He hadn’t told that to anyone, knowing it’d just freak them all out but on such occassions he got scared. Must be all the nerve damage as Clarke had explained back after the accident but he feels it now too and he is basically dragging his leg only feeling more of anything above his knee than down. 

[i-didnt-do-1t]

(Part 2) of ‘Walk you Home’

Morris kicked the dirt and then gestured forward, his shirt was rolled up to his elbows and it was hard not to notice the bruise that coloured the length of the inside of his arm.

Usually she would ask. She should ask. But she’d learnt recently that sometimes asking made people uncomfortable, drew attention to something they would rather forget. She hated the way a question about the bruise that had appeared on Romeo’s cheek had made him avoid her for the rest of the day, or the way her concern at the deep looking cut on Finch’s arm had his gaze darken and a somewhat snapped ‘not really any of your business’ thrown at her. And Morris, the Delancey’s in general, were hardly known for their pacifism. If Morris Delancey wanted to get bruises by fighting dirty with newsboys in the street then it wasn’t her place to comment on it.

“Ladies first.” He said, an edge to his voice, and it was only when she was knocked out of her reverie that she realised she’d been staring.

“Right.” She muttered and started walking in the direction of home, morris trailing along beside her, maybe one or two steps behind which would’ve been uncomfortable if he wasn’t whistling one of Medda’s tunes to himself.

She had told herself she was going to walk in silence, that any conversation would be awkward but Katherine had always been impulsive and had a harder time keeping her mouth shut. It was five minutes later that the question had been asked before she was even finished thinking it.

“You go to Medda’s shows?”

His whistling stopped, but he was still following her, the question hadn’t scared him off based of the sound of footsteps on gravel.

“Course we do.”

“She’s fantastic.”

“Yeah, she is.”

They fell into silence again, except this time he was walking next to her, hands shoved deep in his pockets hat tipped slightly to the side and she found herself staring again.

This was confusing. And weird.

She didn’t like the silence.

“Where’s your brother tonight?” She paused, “Oscar?”

Morris shot her a look. “You think I keep track of him?”

“No. I’ve just never seen you without him before, you’re practically joined at the hip.”

His jaw tensed. “He’s out somewhere. What’s it to you?”

She frowned. “Nothing, I’m just making conversation. Why did you stay home?”

“Jesus what is this? a damn interview?” His tone was harsh and she could see his hands squeezed into fists in his pockets.

Maybe she had too much pride for her own good.

“I was just curious.” He scoffed, she felt her frown deepen. “You’re the one who offered to walk me home.”

“God a guy wants to do something proper for once and this is what he gets.”

“Don’t fool yourself you’ve never done anything nice without strings attached.”

“And so what huh?” He looked at her again. “Miss Pulitzer who lives of daddies money judging the rest of us like she’s some saint.” His voice was bitter, the words spits of acid.

“I’m not some saint but I’ve never beat up on some defenceless kids, and I’ve never hurt a boy on crutches.”

“Yeah, you ain’t getting paid to.” His mouth twisted up into something like a smile but there was no humour behind it. “And Kelly’s crip is fine ain’t he? Got the refuge shut up n everything.”

“Crutchie is his own person.”

He laughed, something quick and harsh and mean. “Sure, n’ so are you.”

She could practically physically feel the way he was worming under her skin with every apathetic, sarcastic jab. She knew he was trying to rile her up, it was obvious. But it was also working.

It was a small mercy that the last turn they took brought them to the end of her street. She’s be safe from here to the front door and she turned and told Morris as much.

He shrugged. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

She turned to leave, shoulders back, head tilted up and a glare in her eyes but she stopped before she got further than a step, and spoke without turning around. Preceded by a deep sigh.

“Thank you. For walking me back.”

She glanced over her shoulder, he tipped his hat and then was gone. Back around the corner, back into the dark.

And when Katherine arrived at her front door she was glad it was to her doorman, who had been watching from down the street and could confirm to her dad that she had an escort home, and avoid the reprimand she would’ve received otherwise.

[i-call-me-clarence]

Trigger warning for ganglion cysts and joint dislocation below the cut. If ANYONE has any knowledge about ganglion cysts or other types of cysts in joints PLEASE read. I need help and to know what’s going on and google is being trash. My doc appointment is weeks out and I need to know if this is an urgent care situation.

Please reblog this so more people who may be able to help can see it.

So I had this ganglion cyst in the joint at the base of my big toe. It swelled while I was in a rainy state and my toe dislocated. It was out of place for a week with no hope of going back in until the cyst deflated again. A few days ago there was this intense snapping feeling and I felt the joint go back together. It was also incredibly painful which is strange since joints going back in is something I’m extremely familiar with and this felt very different. Today the side of my foot started hurting horribly. I removed my sock and started to apply tigers balm to dull the pain but when I touched the skin something HUGE moved. I could feel all around it and it moved when I touched around it or on it. It was roughly the size of my thumb and shaped like a banana. After I was done applying the tigers balm I felt a muscle spasm in the previously dislocated toe coming on. It scared me so I taped several toes together so the big toe couldn’t move. Then the mass moved to the center of my foot. I could see it through the skin. My muscles around it started spamming visibly through the skin and it seemed to disappear from site but I could feel it go up in my foot towards the middle. I can no longer see it. I am still having extreme muscle spasms in the spot where it was on the side of my foot and in the center of my foot. It looks like my foot is breathing. Now there is extreme pain in the base big toe joint. I’m terrified it’s going to find its way back in somehow. Is this possible? Also I can’t find anything on ganglion cysts disconnecting and becoming free floating. I think this happened when it popped out of the joint. It’s still solid (soft and moveable but still solid) and I don’t believe it ruptured. My skin around the base big toe joint as well as on the side of my foot is turning red in a marbled pattern. I cannot afford urgent care or a doctor but I am willing to borrow money (it will be extremely difficult) to get this looked at sooner if I must. Please, if anyone has had a similar experience or knows something about this please reply to this post, reblog it, or dm me. I’m terrified.

Also, I am not putting any weight on the foot at this point at all. I’m terrified it will move to a hard to excise/aspirate spot and making any aspiration or surgery more difficult and possible dangerous. My sister found crutches and a wheelchair so I’m using those.

[ice-o-fon]

Okay so I’ve been seeing people redesigning the tmnt boys, and I wanted to put my own spin on it.

(These are just my extremely altered versions of the turtle boys)

So here they are!

I thought that it’d be cool if each turtles respective colour was gained through their actual species. And yes I’m aware none of them are green anymore, which is something I also thought was weird but another part of me really digger the idea of pushing the limits of these redesigns. So.

A bit of origin of these turtles

Basically splinter was a loyal member of the Hamato clan, however after falling in love with Tang Shen. He moved to New York with her and they had a child, (ya know her, ya love her) Karai. But life in New York can be extremely hard, and so in order to make some more cash on the side, splinter decided to take on underground fights. One day he looses a guy a lot of money and said guy basically kidnapped splinter. And the rest is kinda based mainly off the the rise origins.

Splinter is given to the foot clan by this guy, who at the time said foot clan is experimenting on animals. Trying to make them into mutants, they use splinters dna in this and produce the turtles. But in the same night, a fire is started which causes splinter to both get accidentally mutated into a rat and also allows him to escape with the turtles. As he felt personally responsible for their existence.

However, when it came time to return home to Tang Shen, he couldn’t do it. Being a rat and all. So he went and hid away in the sewers, as ya do. And decided to raise his turtle children in hopes that one day they’d be able to track down the foot clan and find a cure for his mutation.

Here’s some info one the boys too

Leo

Leo is a leather back sea turtle, he is the eldest (according to himself). He remains as flamboyant as he is in rise, but is definitely got a sprinkle of the 2012 Leo too. He tends to listen to splinter the most out of his brothers, as he’s splinters favourite he feels a constant need to live up to that standard. Becoming a little egotistical in the process of this.

Being a leatherback turtle he often just swims around. He is one of the better skilled fighters/strategists of his brothers and takes that with pride (he ends up being a bit of a jerk), but also tends to laze about when splinters not around. He is not the leader of the group as the group doesn’t really have a leader and takes on whatever roles fit best for each mission. He’s still heavy into sci-fi and comic books.

Raph

Raph is an albino forest turtle, due to his albinism he has rather bad eyesight. Donnie made him some glasses for it but most the time he doesn’t wear them. Raph tends to be the best in terms of leadership, but strategical thinking is often left to Leo. He is the one who encourages his brothers to keep training, often butting heads with Leo.

Raph is not as quick to anger as he is in 2012 but he still is more susceptible to it compared to his brothers. Although, he is always there for them when they need him. Being a heavy emotional support for his family (in the big brother tuff love kinda way). He’s also got all the sass of the original Raph too.

Mikey

Mikey is a western swamp tortoise, however all his family keeps telling him he’s a turtle. They’re scared his world will be crushed if they find out he’s not a turtle. Why did I make him a western swamp tortoise? Because i love those little guys and their faces are just so Mikey. He’s the most artistic of the group and is extremely into the old masters (painters). He often forces his family to help him with poses for his paintings.

He is just as energetic as all Mikey’s are. He still has ADHD (like in rise, cuz it’s good rep). Mikey is often the one sent in to get info out of people, he’s a real sweet talker. Like Raph he’s also an emotional crutch for the family, being somewhat of a therapist to his brothers and father.

Mikey’s little bag holds his art supplies

Donnie

I really liked that Donnie was a soft shelled turtle in Rise so I kept him like that cuz don’t change what ain’t broken. Donnie’s practically just rise Donnie for the most part. However, like in 2012 he’s less cynical then rises Donnie. Plus less of a god complex, he still believes he’s the best but doesn’t say it as much as rises Donnie. He maintains his autism form rise Donnie.

Donnie mostly works on new gear for his brothers and himself to make things easier. Leo often points blame at Donnie whenever he’s called lazy because Donnie apparently “set a bad example with all his automatic machines”. Donnie always points out flaws in Leo’s logic, but still loves his brother dearly. And always pops in with a sarcastic remark when needed.

Donnie’s headphone things were def not inspired by the cat earphones.

[heymeowmao]

2023.01.23 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324861142718873967

Xiao Ning is here to wish you a Happy New Year!!

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. Xiao Ning is here to wish you a Happy New Year! LYN: Happy New Year, Happy New Year.

C: How come you’re only here now? All the food’s gone cold. LYN: You can eat first, don’t wait for me. Just eat a nice meal with your family.

LYN: It’s been 26 days since I last streamed? That’s terrible- 26 days?? I haven’t been attending to my proper duties (不务正业). In that case, it really HAS been a long time since we last met (by stream).

C: My mom and dad are waiting for you so we can eat together. LYN: You’re overthinking it. Friends, it’s the new year, please have mercy on me. Let’s not make trouble for each other during the holidays. Let’s all be happy. Just spend your new year happily with your family. Have “A Good Year”.

C: Ning-ge, I’ve gone crazy thinking of you. LYN: OMG. Don’t. You’ve thought of me so much that you... gave yourself a mental illness? It’s not worth it- and I’ve been making appearances, haven’t I? I was at Jiangsu’s Spring Night last night, even.

C: You’re wearing so little, aren’t you cold? LYN: You mean the short sleeves? There’s something in this world that’s called an “air conditioner”- if you don’t know it, you can look it up. A heater. Do you.. not know that such a thing exists? Also, Ning-ge is young and hardy- I can stand the cold.

C: Why does it seem like your voice is a little hoarse? LYN: Uh... I don’t know either. Maybe it’s because I just woke up. Well, I didn’t JUST wake up- I woke up in the afternoon. I’ve just been sleeping in lately. Earlier I was filming so much there was no TIME to have a good night’s sleep; It made me so sleepy. But these past couple of days it’s the New Year Holiday and I have a few days of rest, so I’m getting my sleep in. So these dark circles get smaller. I’ve been sleeping in. Someone earlier said my voice was hoarse- why? Is it thrilling?

LYN: Many of you are asking if my foot’s alright? Honestly, I don’t even know. It’s still attached? I’m not sure what the situation is, because they didn’t give an x-ray. When they open up again, I’ll get it checked out. For now, it’s the same- the bone’s broken so I should take care of it, what else can I do? The doctors told me- you know what’s strange? Each doctor tells you something different. The first one I went to told me that I could start trying to walk on it after three months. I could use a crutch and slowly start to recover my ability to walk. The next doctor I met told me that it would take at least 6 months. “You can’t mess around with this. You should only try walking after 6 months, otherwise it will leave you with aftereffects, if it heals incorrectly.” That scared me! If I were out of commission for 6 months then that would mean all my future projects will fall through. I met yet another doctor, and they told me I needed pins. I asked them what would happen, and they said after the pins I would need three months to recover before I could walk normally. At that time I had already been resting it for half a month, and this would require me to restart at three and that’s... much. So I gave that up. After that I met ANOTHER doctor, who told me I should continue the conservative treatment and just keep it in the cast and it should be no problem. It’s all about the same- about 100 days/3 months of recovery. Because it’s true that the bone’s broken, and it’s not just a simple matter of having twisted my ankle. I broke one of the bones into three pieces. How scary. C: Does it still hurt? LYN: It doesn’t hurt anymore. I don’t really feel anything. But now my right leg is losing its ability to functionally walk. The only thing I had going for me in this industry was that I had long legs. My face, singing, and acting is all not outstanding. I only had my legs as an advantage, and now I’m currently disabled.  C: It sounds like it hurts. My heart hurts for giegie~ LYN: That’s enough of that. Don’t say useless things. What the heck is “my heart hurts for giegie~”.

C: Are you drinking milk or coconut milk? LYN: Coconut milk. I don’t much like (cow’s) milk. Usually I’ll drink yogurt.

C: Ning-ge, when you attended the Weibo Music Awards and saw the kazoo, how did you feel? [t/n: there was a short kazoo/kazoobie segment, and INTO1 were learning how to play it] LYN: I didn’t feel much of anything. They just brought out a bunch of kazoobie/kazoo on the stage. /playing with them/ I didn’t feel anything. It was... nice to see. C: Ning-ge, blow both at once. LYN: My mouth isn’t that big. There’s a distance between the two mouth holes. Sorry, my mouth isn’t big enough. LYN: That doesn’t mean I can’t try, though.

LYN: Forget it. C: Ning-ge, use a nostril to blow one. LYN: Do I have to try so hard for a stream, now? I have to start doing tricks? You want me to use my nostril to blow a kazoo. Well, how about I attach a tube to it and blow it from a distance? Have you seen those videos? They attach a tube to the suona and blow- such a long distance!- through that? Why don’t I try that, instead? Alright? I’ve got to pull out some tricks otherwise I can’t make you stay and subscribe to my weibo??

C: When will the new drama be announced? LYN: The topic changes so quickly?! You were just asking me to show you some tricks, and now you’re asking about the new drama? The new drama will be announced really soon. Of course I’ll go (be in the crew). Even if my leg is broken, I have to go. At first, like any normal person, I thought of taking some time to for my foot to heal. I didn’t NEED to pack my schedule so tightly and suffer any side effects from not resting it. But after being cursed at online for so long now, I HAVE to take whatever work comes my way, broken foot or no. If I don’t do the work, then that means I’ve been yelled at for nothing. I’d be losing out. I have to accept the work, and I have to do it well.

C: Ning-ge, what’s this bg music? LYN: Don’t butter me up. This is clearly one of my fans trying to pander to me, by asking me what this background music is. Isn’t there a rolling caption up there that keeps reminding you what the song is? This request comes across as a little fake. Next time try to make it more realistic. XD It’s auto-scrolling up there, “Modern Brothers Liu Yuning - A Good Year is currently playing.”

LYN: ! The Carnation Music Festival... I know I said I would hold another one, but you know there was a pandemic situation in Hengdian, and then I had to go to Macau. I was leaving, so I didn’t ask them (bandmates) to come over. Also, Ah-Zhuo had COVID, at the time. I didn’t want him to come over and give it to me, and then I wouldn’t have been able to go to Macau. After that I came back, before the new year and had some filming and events to do... and now it’s the new year. The day before the new year, I even recorded an OST. But this (new) drama should be ok. I won’t be as busy as I was when filming YNGS. I had too many scenes in that, I almost died. This one should be about half the amount of scenes than I had for YNGS. I’ll have time to stream and make some songs, maybe do a variety show. It’s possible, but I can’t say for sure. C: How come your voice changed? (it got gentler) LYN: Is it because we haven’t met in too long? You’ve started missing me, so you feel like I’ve changed. Maybe it’s because I haven’t spoken in too long, so you think my voice has changed? But also my voice is just a little hoarse. Just a little.

- /commenting that the special b-day drone performance they made for him was very nice/ LYN: Anyone who was in Hengdian all sent me messages about it. It gave me a lot of face. Thank you, everyone. The directors, actors, anyone who was in Hengdian at the time all sent me messages about it- “Liu Yuning, look what your fans did for you.” It was cool. You made me look good.

C: How many dishes do you eat for new year’s? LYN: /sigh/ The new year.... I ate bullfrogs (??). I bought a pot of bullfrogs to eat. I hope everything that happens in the year to come will come “gwa gwa” (smoothly).

C: Ning-ge, do you have any skin brightening tips? LYN: Am I a makeup streamer?? Why are you asking me how to get lighter skin on at this time, during the holidays? If I had a method, do you still think I would be so dark?? For lighter skin, just remember to supplement with Vitamin C and try not to go out. Close the curtains so that you’re not getting hit by the sun. If you go out make sure to wear enough clothing to cover up. The more you wear, the whiter you’ll be. Another method is to... rely on the beauty filters. The fastest way to be paler is to turn on a beauty filter. You’ll be a celebrity in an instant. Don’t think about those beauty products- this way you’ll see results much faster!

C: Ning-ge, I’m a student-fan and I want to cross the oceans to see you. LYN: Since you’re a student, you should just focus on your studies. My last batch of student-fans all graduated already. They all already graduated, so I guess you must be part of a new group of fans. Study hard and then get a good job. After you find a job and are making a decent amount of money to support yourself, then you can come and see one of my concerts. You’re in school now, so why do you want to see me? Am I a monkey? Don’t come. You can watch my dramas and variety shows when they air, and listen to my songs when I release them- that’s enough. You can come to see me when I’m holding a concert.

C: Will you have a concert this year? LYN: I really want to, I do, but with this type of thing it’s really too hard to say. If I can’t hold one this year then next year... I’ll hold one? Let me tell you why. For the current drama, I’ll probably be filming until June and by then half a year’s gone by already. If I don’t accept another drama offer for the second half of the year... then that means I’ll have to have been working on releasing my album while I film the current drama, since I can’t hold a concert without having done that first. Then there are the rehearsals and the logistics of it all, which would take until October to finish, and I can only hold a concert then. Just... we’ll see. We’ll see, okay? LYN: I was originally planning on holding my concert this year, because right now- to say it plainly- I have five dramas waiting to be aired. I was thinking I could take a year to rest, and shoot one drama this year and leave the rest of my time to my concert. But then I heard news that all five of my pending dramas will air in 2023. The YNGS producer jiejie told me she thinks YNGS will air this year. What?! ALL FIVE of my dramas will air THIS YEAR?? If that’s the case then I don’t have any backup stock. I would only have the one I am currently going to shoot, and then nothing else. Isn’t that- that would ruin me. It took me two years to shoot five dramas, and they’re all going to air in the same year. So then I was thinking I should probably accept another drama for the later half of the year, and then at least I would have two dramas as backup. That seems a little more rational, to me. LYN: In this industry if you don’t show up in front of people, you’re likely to be forgotten. So you have to think your plans through.

C: Ning-ge, you were sitting next to rappers at the Weibo Music Awards. Did you make friends with any of them? LYN: I didn’t really speak with them all that much. I only spoke to GAI, who was sitting next to me, briefly. I didn’t really get to converse with any others. Other people are up on stage performing, and you want me to sit in the audience making friends? That’s no good. LYN: When I went initially I didn’t feel much, but later I started to feel like a monkey. I don’t really like people to see me when I am vulnerable- it’s not because I want to save face or because of my idol burden- I don’t have such a burden. I just don’t like people to see me in such a poor state. Everyone else there is wearing nice suits and pretty gowns and I’m over there in a wheelchair. I’m just cruising around in my electric wheelchair, and every artist who sees me stops me to ask what’s wrong. I say, “It’s nothing. I just broke my foot while filming. It’ll be fine in a couple months.” And when I turn around it’s someone else asking me what’s wrong. It was a weird situation, because we’re all here at a MUSIC awards ceremony. I go, and I’m telling them I got hurt while ACTING. LYN: What am I (singer or actor)?? If I said I got hurt while holding a concert, it wouldn’t be as strange. But here I am at a music awards ceremony, surrounded by singers, telling them I hurt myself while acting. That’s strange. The second thing is- everyone is looking at me, and they see me and they’re very polite- wishing I recover soon. The third thing is my own projection- how must they see me? “How much did this kid want to attend this awards ceremony, that he comes even with a broken foot?? You’re already in this state. You should be home resting, what are you doing here??? How narcissistic are you, that you have to come here and bask in the honor of receiving your award?” That was just too awkward/embarrassing.

- /Daimi is barking/ LYN: ... What do you want?! LYN: She’s outside. I’ll let her in later.

C: Ning-ge, you make the boot look so fashionable. LYN: What are you talking about? But also- my old fans all know- no matter what I do/buy it has to be the best. I’ve always thought that I even if I am not that skilled, I should have the best equipment to make up for what I lack. For example, when I was learning how to play the guitar, I bought an expensive one... even though I can’t play it. Even if I broke a bone, I bought so much equipment for it. My friend sent me a chair you can sit in, in the bath. I also have these.. crutches... that you can set your elbows on, like a walker/frame- my friend sent me this, too. I have crutches (under the armpit)- two sets. The first set was a little short, it came from the hospital and did not match with my physique. At the longest extension it only reached my waist. So I went online and bought another pair- it can extend all the way to 2m, so it’s enough for me. I also have a wheelchair, two actually. When I first broke the bone I had bought a wheelchair, but after using it for a bit I didn’t like how it felt. When I was on set and my bros were pushing me around it felt like a struggle. So I went online and bought another one- an expensive one, for 3,000+ RMB. The frame was lighter and the wheels better, so it felt more convenient for me to get around set with. And then, I have to go out, right? I didn’t want someone to have to push me because I’d look really miserable, so I got an electric wheelchair. LYN: Then, I have this on my foot. When I was at the hospital, the doctor gave me this boot and I spent 600RB on it. After it was on... I thought it was cool. XD I was wondering if there was any talented individual online who had this boot, but made it look like Iron Man’s boot or something? So I went online to search if there was anyone with this creativity and sense of fashion. It’d be cool and it would protect my foot/leg- I wouldn’t need to feel embarrassed for the Spring Night Galas. I was searching and then discovered a problem. This boot that I have on, the hospital sold to me for 600RMB. Online, it’s 149RMB. I had a mental break. Suddenly I felt as if this thing wasn’t as reliable as I first thought it was. If it was 600RMB and could guarantee the safety of my leg I wouldn’t complain, but it’s so cheap I could just go online and find a better one! But there wasn’t any Iron Man boot. So I was searching and found something online for 500+RMB... if that’s the case I’m sure the hospital would have sold it to me for 1000+RMB, right? Anyway, I bought it... but it wasn’t comfortable. It’s sitting over there, like new. So what could I do... I went back to the original one I got from the hospital. But this thing, wearing it every day, it gets dirty. Also, you know, your foot’s bundled up in it, so... (it smells). There’s no way to wash it, because if I do I wouldn’t be able to use it the next day, and I need it to get to work. I can’t wash this one, so I thought of getting a replacement so I could use them interchangeably. I looked online... and that’s how I have the one I’m wearing now. This is the brand that all the big athletes use when they get injured. The imported brands, you know? So I thought it would suffice and I bought it. I’m full-up on equipment. I even bought a single forearm crutch, the kind that old folks use. And then... I bought the wrong thing. Everyone, crutches are categorized into left-handed and right-handed support. I don’t know if you buy crutches, but they’re separated by left or right. So, my right foot is hurt and I bought the right-handed crutch, to make my hand work in place of my foot. But when I got back it was then that I realized that if it’s my right leg that’s hurt I should have gotten the crutch for the left hand. I bought the wrong one, and I haven’t returned it. It’s just taking up space in my house, now. Later when I’m fully healed I’ll take all this equipment and raffle it off to you. Friends, when that time arrives, you have to come and participate.

C: Ning-ge, talk about the purple thermals. LYN: What’s there to talk about? They’re just purple. That’s normal. In Dongbei we have all sorts of colors. Usually when I’m shooting a drama, I’ll be wearing the character’s wardrobe. But for some time prior to that I kept recording douyin videos- I mean videos to upload to weibo, right? The drama’s pr department asked me if I could stop wearing the drama wardrobe, because I had been essentially leaking the look. Paparazzi are one thing, since it’s taken without our permission, but we can’t actively reveal the details ourselves. I thought that logic was sound, so I respected their request. So when I recorded that video I had taken off the robes and was wearing the purple thermals underneath.  C: Did you get them from HZT? LYN: Yeah. // No, really though. That was just a coincidence. I didn’t even learn about it until after I had uploaded the video.

LYN: Wait for me a sec, I want to change my cup. Or, let me go wash this one. Hold on. I’ll play you a video. Let me go wash my cup. It feels like it’s sticking in my throat. So there it is- I’ve found the reason why m voice sounds different! It’s because this thing (coconut milk) is sticking in my throat. Wait for me; I’ll wash my cup. LYN: I’m back! C: Drink less soft drinks. LYN: This is sugar free.

C: Ning-shushu (uncle), I start school on the 30th. LYN: Who are you calling “uncle”?? Even if you call me that, I’m still not giving you any money. School starts on the 30th? Then, study well. That way when you leave the house you’ll have learned how to interact with people and the ways of the world. School may not be able to teach you these things but your Uncle Ning can- worldly wisdom. When you see someone who obviously looks much older than you, first call them “ge” or “jie”. When they start to seem annoyed, then you can change to calling them something else. Whenever I see a woman who is older than me- I don’t care by how much- I always call them “jie”. If they are slightly older, I will call her “da jie”; if they are just normally older than me, I just call her “jie”. LYN: They’re all “jie” to me, because I used to be in the customer service industry. I was a waiter at a restaurant, and then later a clerk in a clothing store. You can think about it- if you have a group of older customers walk into your shop, are you going to say, “Hey, Uncle. What will you be having today?” If it’s a woman- “Auntie, what will you have today?” You’re going to make them lose their appetite! Do you get it? They’re going to lose their appetite, turn and find a different establishment. When I was working in the clothing shop and a woman comes in, do you think I would say, “Hello, Auntie. What type of clothing were you looking to buy today?” Do you think she would buy anything from me? I must be crazy. You’re in school now, so I completely understand why you don’t have this etiquette, but you must understand how the world works. If a woman walks in, no matter how old she looks, you say, “Jie, what type of clothing are you looking for today? Jie, you look to be in good spirits! Jie, try this one- I guarantee it will make you look slim. With an aura like yours, only you could pull off this color. Really, jie. It’ll look so good on you. It’s really nice. Why don’t you buy it?” See- this is worldly wisdom. C: What if they’re younger than you? LYN: Then I don’t call them by any title. Do you think, if someone younger than me walked in, I would say, “Meimei, what are you looking at today~?” No way. Also, I don’t like to call anyone “美女 (mei nu)” (beauty/pretty lady). People who are trying to sell you clothes will often call you “pretty lady”- I have never called anyone that. It’s too difficult for me. I don’t call them any title, but use “您 (nin)” (polite form of “you”). We’re on equal footing- I don’t need to make myself any lower than them. -- C: Meimei is watching you today. LYN: Go on, then. -- C: Call them “Miss/Lady (小姐)”. LYN: I don’t like that either. Other people can use that term as they like, but for me it seems improper. If I were younger I could call someone “Young Lady”, but I’m so old and for me to call a young girl “young lady”?? What do I want?? C: Call her “Old Miss (老妹)”. LYN: I don’t think anyone would use that, right? It’s like this- “老妹” is used as a more casual term, but as someone who has to represent the shop, we have to- to some extent- raise the profile of the shop. If you call someone “老妹”, it’ll be like they came into our shop to buy a cotton-padded jacket. It feels like, “Hey, sis. Come into my shop- take a look at the cotton-padded jackets and thermals.” So if you are a salesperson, you have represent your brand and give it a higher profile- even if not by much. You just can’t let the profile fall (lower than that of the customer’s). So then in this case we would use the term “女士 (Madam/Ms.)”. You can take her to look at some furs. XD C: Then just call her “woman” (女人) LYN: LOL. Women can call each other that among themselves, but me- as a male- calling a female that... is extremely off-putting. I don’t think “woman” should come out of a man’s mouth. It feels like, “Woman. This is a notice, not up for discussion. Give me all of your information in three minutes.” “Woman, you’re playing with fire.” /laughs/ “Alright- you’ve got my attention.” // “Woman, you’re playing with fire, but you’ve successfully gained my attention. Have dinner with me tonight. This is a command, not a request.”

- /BGM: Mosaic Band’s 霓虹甜心 (Darling)/

LYN: I’m drinking a soft drink, not wine! Who would be crazy enough to drink wine on a live-stream? I’d be insane. My alcohol tolerance is already bad enough as is, I don’t want to drink and say the wrong thing. I already have to watch what I say. I’m having a soft drink; it’s sugar-free. 

C: Ning-ge, did you go to Li Gengxin’s salon for a haircut? LYN: I really did. I told you before, right? That I had gone to a place in Changsha for a haircut and it happened to be one of his shops? When he found out that I went, he sent me a (membership) card. I hadn’t finished using up the funds on it, so I went to exhaust them a little. I can’t waste his good intentions. C: How much money do you have left on it? LYN: Why, are you going to use it?? You want me to tell you the number and you’ll go get your hair washed? You’ll get a perm, using my card?? As if! “Woman, you’re dreaming. I suggest you end this line of thought early.” LYN: How would I know how much money is left on the card- where would I even look that up? Look- this is another part of worldly wisdom (人情世故) that you don’t understand. You really need someone like me in your life (to teach you these things). Someone gave you a (gift) card, and you turn around and look up how much money is on it?? Do you know how to conduct yourself?? No one does that. When you enter society and your coworker gives you a gift, PLEASE do not look up how much that gift cost them. Don’t do that, there’s really no need. It doesn’t have anything to do with how much the item costs. Someone gave that to you with their good intentions. Someone gives you a card, and you’re going to look up whether they gave you 1000RMB or 2000RMB? That’s very strange. Don’t look it up. Later on when I want to get a haircut and they tell me that there are no more funds left, all I’ll have to do it add more funds to it. End of story. C: I have to give them something back. // I’ll look it up secretly. LYN: A return gift? That’s okay, then. If you’re going to give something back, then you DO understand the concept of worldly wisdom. If you’re not going to give anything in return then don’t bother looking up the cost. If someone gives me a card, what am I going to do? The most is send them a box of strawberries. If your friend gives you something and you look up the price of it in order to give them back something of equal value, then that’s okay. If it’s a birthday present though, there’s no need.

C: Ning-ge, if you see my comment, make a “V”! LYN: Do our interactions have to be so strong, now? The participation is so intense?!

C: Ning-ge, I want to ask- is the boot that’s supporting your foot breezy? LYN: It’s fine. The air doesn’t really get through to it. Because it has to wrap around entirely- I don’t know if you’ve seen racing seats? If it wraps around the driver it’s safer. Or.. you know when you go snowboarding, you have snow boots- it’s like that. It has the same function, in that it does not allow your ankle to bend. It limits your movement up and down, left and right. You’ll know what this feels like if you’ve ever gone snowboarding before.

C: Ning-ge, have you seen my house’s remote control? LYN: /looks around/ I haven’t. For my part, I suggest your call the police. Make sure they catch who stole it.

C: Ning-ge, did you buy your “young king young boss” (YKYB) cap on your own? LYN: This brand is HZT’s, and someone is asking me if I took the initiative to buy it on my own? Do you think our relationship as friends is so terrible, that I need to go out and make this purchase? Of course it is great to go out and support his brand, but we’re pretty good in that when he has new products he will remember to send me something- like a cap or jacket.

--

C: Man, will you sing? LYN: Woman, what song would you like to hear. Tell me within three minutes.

C: Ning-ge, respect winter. LYN: I’m at home! I have an air conditioner, so I’m not really cold. If I were cold I would put something on. I’m alright. I’m not cold.

LYN: I discovered recently that my Ten album is up on QQ Music. That was my first album. Friends, if you have time you can go on QQ and listen to it. It’s a very nice album. Let me look it up. I’ll see if there’s any song I can sing. 

LYN: I’ll sing one of my own songs. It’s called “A Ray of Light in the Darkness”. I hope that this year everyone can meet their “light”. Be your own light. - 黑夜的一束光 (A Ray of Light in the Darkness/Praying) LYN: Another! What should I sing? These are all songs on my first album... // I’ll sing this for you. This song is called “Contrary” (lit. = “Obviously”). - 明明 (Obviously/Contrary)

C: Man, you’re playing with fire. LYN: /chuckles/ Alright, then. You sure do learn things from my stream, don’t you? Even though this thing is not useful at all, but you sure can follow along.

LYN: Did I not sing some of the lyrics properly? Then that just proves that I’m really singing. Sometimes when you see my performances and I make a mistake in the lyrics, I do it to prove that I’m actually singing live. Even though I sing just averagely without proving myself, I still need to prove it.

C: Will there be a Carnation Music Festival this year? LYN: Yes. I had big plans for this. I wanted to make a home-style music festival. It would be at my house and I would call a bunch of instrumentalists over. I would hold a little concert in my house and stream it to weibo. It’s just that the problem was that there were too many things going on before the new year. I was thinking of doing it on January 8th, for my birthday. But then... then I had too many scenes to shoot for YNGS. I thought I had better focus on my acting. If I can, I still want to make it happen this year. When my foot’s better too, I need to take you to Shanghai Disney for a stream. I’ll give back everything I owe you. C: Look at this pie! LYN: I see a lot of you are commenting that I’m drawing another pie, that you have too many of my pies in your fridge already and that they’re starting not to fit. XD BUT! If I give you enough pies, then at least SOME of them have to come true, right? We can make it happen. LYN: “Man, you’re making empty promises again.”

C: Ning-ge, can I bring my baby? LYN: ?! Wh- which part are you referring to? I was talking about two things earlier: one was the concert in my house- you don’t need to bring your baby for that. You can watch that from the comfort of your own home, just watch my stream from your phone. The second thing was the Disney stream, and by that I didn’t mean that I was going to (physically) bring fans to the park to play. I meant I was going to stream myself- which you can watch from your phone. You can watch it with your baby, though. My stream does not contain any adult/illegal content. People 18 years and under can still watch my stream. You can watch it with your baby, that’s okay.

--

C: Have you heard any news about ALZ? LYN: I’ve really got to hand it to you. Of course, I know you all ask because you’re interested in me, and at the very least you know that I am a part of the drama. But, I still have to say: I don’t know if you’re my fan or not- but as an actor, I really don’t know much more than you do. That is- I don’t know. I don’t know when it will air. I can tell you that I’ve already finished recording the OST and I’ve finished my voice-acting for it; I’ve even gone in for some post-editing OS. My part is done. As an actor, I’ve finished my job. But on this same note, taking all this into consideration, my guess is that it should be airing soon. I can’t say for sure though because again, my part is done. From my past experience, after the OST and voice-acting are finished, the air date is not long after. C: Ning-ge, what’s the difference between OS and OST? LYN: They’re two different things. OS (voice-over/narration) is- for example if you’re watching a drama and in this scene a lone person is sitting with a letter in front of them. They pick up the letter and at this moment, there’s a voice: “Hello, Liu Yuning. By the time you see this letter, I will have already left.” This sound is called the OS- the sound you hear in the background.

--

C: Ning-ge, it’s Hei Ye’s birthday. LYN: It’s Hei Yanjing’s birthday today? I can’t represent this role- and people online have been saying this too. I’ve only had the honor of being a part of this role, to bring him to life a little, but I can’t say that I /AM/ him. I’m not worthy. LYN: I said I wasn’t worthy and some people are saying, “You’re right.” /laughs the pain away/ ARE YOU REALLY MY FANS?? You can choose not to say anything at all, just don’t reply. I said I was honored to be a part of this character but I wasn’t worthy of representing the role and people agreed with me. Just don’t say anything at all. LYN: You all are brutally honest, aren’t you.

C: Ning-ge, sing 冥冥有声 (Ming Ming You Sheng). This is an order. LYN: You mean it’s Hei Ye’s birthday today, so you want me to sing a song, is that it? If it’s my birthday, shouldn’t someone else be singing for ME? Or is it because I said I wasn’t worthy? Didn’t I already sing it earlier-  你是黑夜的一束光 (you are a ray of light in the night) --> 你是黑爷的一束光 (you are Hei Ye’s ray of light).

LYN: Let me see if there’s the accompaniment for it. - /searching for the track but finds that QQ doesn’t have it and the other site does not have copyright/ LYN: Where’s the copyright for it?? This is strange, what’s happening. They won’t let me listen to the song. Sorry, friends. I was going to sing it for you but it’s just not in the stars. They won’t let it play. Really. How terrible. I don’t know how this happened. I guess something happened with the copyright- it’s not important. I can play the MV... C: It’s because you’re not a member. LYN: 去你的! Friends, you don’t know but my Kugou Music account will be open until I’m 90. If I can’t live until then, it will be passed down. My old friends all know that I’ll have it until I’m 90- that’s how much I love music. But there’s nothing I can do for this situation. I really did want to sing it for you.

C: Sing it without accompaniment. LYN: /laughs/ You’re like my second aunt. C: Ning-ge, you’re a singer aren’t you? Sing it without accompaniment. LYN: Let me see if I have it on my computer. But I’ve changed it recently- this one is not the same one as before- so I don’t know if I do, but I used to. // I don’t have it. I really wanted to sing this for you, but I can’t. I know I have the track on a USB; I’ll have one of my staff bring it to me. Let me ask.  LYN: Alright, then I won’t sing it. Maybe next time.

LYN: Let me use the restroom and I’ll come back and continue chatting with you. Wait for me, three minutes.

--- break #1

C: Ning-ge, you’re so funny when speaking the Northeastern Dialect. LYN: Actually, I can speak Standard Mandarin- I speak it when I’m filming don’t I?

- /flaps his hand to prove he’s washed them/ C: Man- have you washed your hands. LYN: Woman, you’re playing with fire. What business is it of yours if I’ve washed my hands or not? LYN: Are we role-playing a dominating CEO now? You’ll find that all dominating CEOs have to have a rising tone. /showing the difference between normal speaking tone and lowered tone/ Once you raise the intonation you’ll feel like it’s dominating. You can’t only think of the lines (but also the execution). /demonstrates again/ Do you know why this is? It’s because it comes across as a sort of command. It feels like the everyone in the world owes you something. -/playing around with it more/

C: Ning-ge, did you sing the OST for Chong Zhi? LYN: Of course. Chaoyue gave me the opportunity, didn’t she? Then as a return gift, I sent her a box of strawberries. In order to show my gratitude. LYN: The song is really nice, though. I heard the demo and thought it was really good. You can look forward to it. // I’ve sung quite a few OSTs lately- all of the dramas are quite good as well. LYN: If I had a small wish for this year it’s that one of my drama OSTs can make it big this year, too. I’ve found out that my own songs aren’t really popular, but my OSTs don’t do too bad. I have a few popular ones- Rang Jiu, I don’t even need to mention. Of course I know that the song is popular, not me. I’m only the singer- the song was good to begin with. There’s Rang Jiu, and then the year before last was Tian Wen. Last year was Searching for You. My OSTs tend to be more popular. For OSTs, as long as the drama does well, the soundtrack won’t rate too badly. - /also mentions Fireworks and Stars, Colored Glass, A Dream of Splendor/ LYN: For this year I’ve sung for Chong Zhi and ALZ... I’ve sung for mostly good dramas, up until now. Let’s all look forward to when those air. C: What about Zi Chuan? LYN: I sang for ZC, of course. Anything I’ve been in, I’ve pretty much all sung for.

C: Ning-ge, I haven’t finished my homework yet and school is about to start. LYN: Get working, then. But isn’t it early for school? Doesn’t it start in March? Do your homework.

LYN: Am I trending? “Woman- am I trending?” “Really?” “Oh, my goodness. How unbelievable.” “I never thought a day like this would come for me, LYN.” LYN: Someone had asked me before, if I had an English name. I didn’t, really. My English name is “LYN”- shorthand for “Liu Yu Ning”. Then... I’ll be “LYN” (pronounced: li-en). LYN: In the Entertainment tab? /this is not a .jpg/ What’s wrong with that?? // That’s okay, too. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter. I’m happy to be trending at all, given it’s the new year.

C: Ning-ge, have you fallen into a role? LYN: No, sometimes I just like to imitate other’s voice acting productions. Just playing around with it. A long time ago- do you remember, I went on a variety show called My Brilliant Masters? We went around to a lot of amazing seniors. At the time I had only just started acting- I was shooting my second drama- I think it was around the time I was filming for Ultimate Note. I forget. We went around to a lot of different laoshi, and one of them was Wang Gang. He’s an amazing actor, you know? So I asked him, what did I need to do if I wanted to be a good actor? They’re seniors in the industry, so I asked for advice. We talked for a long time and he told me a lot. But there’s one thing that I remember the clearest. He told me, “As an actor, the script is the most important. As long as your lines are good, your acting will not be bad.” That’s what he told me, and since then I’ve spent a little more effort on my lines. I came to enjoy it. He told me he was working at a broadcasting station, and every night he would tell a story- that’s how he practiced reciting his lines. That’s why when you watch him, his lines sound so great. It came from those years of experience for him. That’s why I came to like voice-acting. LYN: I’m still not good enough yet. I still have to practice. Standard Mandarin is the first hurdle. My Standard is not that great yet. After that it’s even more complicated things. The only thing I can do for now is to voice-act for myself, and take it slow. His is one of my more favorite stories.

C: Ning-ge, you’re making an EP with five friends? LYN: You all saw that interview, huh? I really am planning on making one with five friends. But I’ve only thought of four so far. I want to make an EP with five friends... but I think this project will be long in the making. I haven’t even found enough songs for my own album, let alone finding songs I can sing with others. I’ve already discussed it though, and reached out to five friends. You know I only have so many. I’ll collab with them and make five songs. I think we can do it. C: Which five friends? LYN: I only have so many, you can ponder on this yourselves. I only have so many. LYN: Right now, releasing a song means having to pay money (not make money). So I just want to make something for fun. It’s not for the money. I just want to do something fun with my friends and leave something behind that you all can listen to. It’s not to make any money, this is a losing venture. This is the reason why singers don’t release albums- it costs too much money. Singers used to make money by... forget it, I won’t tell you.

C: Ning-ge, I’m also your friend. LYN: Right. I always say that my fans are my friends. So by this you mean that you want to make a song with me? It’s not impossible. We can do it. How about this. You don’t have to sing, I’ll just add your name to the credits. You can pretend that your voice is in there, but you don’t have to sing. I’ll add in your name. C: We’re your friends from all over the world. ( 五湖四海 = five river and four seas) LYN: That’s right. In my next song I’ll have it down as “Singers: Liu Yuning & LYN’s Fans from All Over the World”. I’ll put your name down, and you can brag to your family about it. “Look mom, I collaborated with LYN on a song!” And when she asks you which word you sang, you can tell her it’s not important. “I’m the sound of the guitar.” XD

C: Ning-ge, what should I do if I don’t want to get out of bed? LYN: You must be sick! You’re going to come ask me about any mundane thing now?? I can’t cure you. What should you do if you can’t get out of bed? Go to sleep earlier. If you go to sleep earlier, you would be able to get out of bed easier. If you’re sleeping 12 hours a day I don’t believe you would still be able to stay in it. Go to bed earlier- if you don’t have enough sleep you won’t even be able to lie down, then you’ll just get up again. Don’t stay up at night.

C: Is TXJ going to air soon? LYN: That will be slower to air. It’s still early for that one, because I haven’t finished my voice acting for it yet. I owe them so much work... The other time I went I only did five episodes, because I just so happened to be there for work on ALZ. After I finished up with ALZ I still had some time so I asked if I could work on TXJ a little. I finished five episodes. There are... still a lot to go. Let’s not rush.

C: Is your foot alright now? LYN: It’s not healed yet, not that quickly. It’ll take at least another month and a half. In another month and a half I’ll try walking on it normally. I’ve also discussed with the drama director, if we could arrange all of the fight scenes for later so we can shoot those when my foot is better. I was given the ‘OK’ for that, so we’ll just shoot the lighter scenes to begin with. Guzhuang dramas can’t really do without any fight scenes, though. They always fight. It could be a lot of fighting or a little, but they always fight. My best role was Luo Mingxi’s (ALZ)- he was a scholar, and couldn’t do martial arts. The whole drama he didn’t have a single fight scene. I was so happy, to be in a guzhuang where I didn’t have to fight. 

--

LYN: I’ve been shooting dramas for a few years now and as time goes by I’ve realized that I really didn’t respect my own appearance before. Before, and even when I was doing the voice acting for ALZ, I was thinking, why was I so... how should I say this... so lax with myself. Even with Heroes- you’ll find that in some scenes I look pretty handsome, I actually look pretty decent. But then in other scenes I look truly ugly. When I was watching ALZ (while voice acting for his scenes) I even had that impression of myself. I look good in one scene, but ugly in another. So then I was wondering how this happened- why does it happen and when? It really has to do with your own condition that day. For example if you wake up in the morning after having stayed up all night you’ll have dark circles and be puffy from fluid retention. Your jawline won’t be as prominent. Through the camera this all looks even worse- it emphasizes your flaws. I keep saying I was swollen, but the truth of it is I had eaten too much (read: he was fat). LYN: As an actor, you can’t really show yourself in a healthy state. That’s my own personal opinion. If you want to be on camera and look pretty and refined, you really have to show yourself in an unhealthy state. It makes you seem like you have a thin face and thin body, like you’re lacking in water. If you’re on the camera glowing and healthy, then you tend to look a little plump through the lens. It’s terrible.

LYN: At the time I was “swollen” every day. I forget who told me- a way to remedy this was to tie my ears with a rubber band. That if I held my ears it would lessen the water retention. Have you heard of such a method? There are all sorts of artists’ rumored beauty tips. So I tied my ears, every day, so much so that I thought that my ears would fall off! But did it work? It actually did. Let me tell you why- I’ve thought about the reasoning behind it. LYN: It’s because when there’s a band on your ears it has the effect of making your face look slimmer. Watch. /demonstrates/ It makes your face look slimmer because it’s lifting your skin a little. Since you’re tying it fairly tight it lifts the skin, and then you think it’s working because your face looks thinner. But this is extremely temporary. After some extent it won’t work anymore. You’ll be fat either way. LYN: That’s why for Ning Yuanzhou I really have to thank all the people who complained that I was ugly in the early days of filming. I thank them, truly. From the first day of filming there were people complaining that I was ugly. They cursed at me daily, as if I had never appeared in this capacity as an actor, or on a variety show, or had ever attended a gala, or had EVER shown my face outside of this one acting appearance before. It’s as if they had never met me. Like, “Wow, it turns out that LYN was THIS ugly??” So I thank these small friends for cursing at me, because their constant cursing made me hyper-vigilant. When I got to the makeup room in the morning, I would first put on a hydrating face mask and then follow-up by massaging (with a roller) my face. First make it big. Then, follow that up with a scraper, and watch the water retention slip away. After that, a cooling eye mask- to reduce the swelling of my eyes. After all this, twenty minutes have passed and the wig application is pretty much finished, so they can then start applying the makeup. For the first twenty minutes of every day, I went through this routine: massage for 10, scrape for 5, and cool for 5. C: Did it work? LYN: I don’t dare to say that it did. You can watch the video later on and let me know. Of course, there were some times that I was lazy. When YNGS airs, if you think Ning-ge looks handsome for this episode, and this scene, then you can be sure that I scraped my face in the morning. If in some other scene his face is lacking, then he was lazy that day. You can use this method to tell the difference.

--

LYN: I really want to thank those who cursed at me, from the bottom of my heart. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have felt so wary. I would have continued thinking, “An actor is an actor- the performance is what matters.” But the appearance... if I am comparing with others then there is always going to be someone out there better looking. Also, there are so many good looking people online and people say even THEY’RE ugly. So I thank these people for making me focus on my own appearance- not only in the drama. If I hadn’t experienced this for myself, I would not have had this growth, and would have continued on in my lackadaisical ways. C: Will you get angry if I curse at you now? LYN: What’s there to be angry about. People have already cursed me out, you came too late.

LYN: Also, do you know why I’ve debuted for almost four years and in those years have not really had a break? I’ve never said I wanted a break or that I would take two months off to rest. I have never said I wanted that. Even when the pandemic first started, I just entered into a drama crew. That was when I was shooting for The Long Ballad. Why (have I never taken a break)? It’s to thank those people who cursed at me. (t/n: Out of spite, you mean? XD) From the very first day, when I said I was a singer and they didn’t think I was worthy, until the day I started acting and they said I wasn’t worthy. It’s because they cursed at me and looked down on me, that I have the determination to keep moving forwards and upwards. These four years.. have gone by awfully quick.  LYN: If it were just my fans buttering me up every day- telling me I that I’m the best and the most handsome, that my acting is superb and my singing is great- if it were just my fans complimenting me all the time, I’m sure I would have drifted. I would be out there playing around instead. Why would I still be filming, when my foot is broken? Right? So I thank the haters. If they hadn’t told me I wasn’t worthy, I wouldn’t have had the strength to keep fighting without a rest. I haven’t taken a rest- you all know this.

C: Then, should we (fans) leave? The fans’ compliments aren’t important? LYN: That’s not what I meant. I’m sure if I ONLY had antis cursing at me I would have lost my mind by now. This is just like life- you can’t have shitty days ALL THE TIME, right? Let’s say you like to eat sweets. But if you add in something bitter every once in a while, you will appreciate the sweetness all the more. Right? You can’t only eat bitter things all the time! You would have thrown up, in that case. It’s like this. I really do want to thank my fans. If it weren’t for your encouragement and support, I would have had a breakdown in the face of all this hate. I’d have depression. It’s possible.  But it’s thanks to your encouragement, in hand with all the hate- that allows me to keep moving forward. LYN: I was thinking about this a couple days ago. I’m really thankful for all my fans, and I’m not just saying this. The great thing about you all is that you actually listen to what I say to you. When I tell you not to do this or that, you really do listen to me. You respect me. But because I’ve met fans that don’t listen, that makes me like you all the more. I’m grateful that I have you fas my fans. When I tell you something, you’re really willing to listen to me. Some fans don’t. They seriously, don’t. But you all respect me, and I appreciate it. Even my staff members, they think you’re all great. It’s because we have something to compare you with. LYN: Including when I’m at the airport, and I’ve told you to be conscious of being in a public space and not to come greet me, you listened. Or when I’m online and I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart and discuss something with you, you all know that I’m being serious. You all respect me. I think this is great. Because I respect all of you. If I have any news, I always tell you in the group chat. I hope that I can be transparent with you. If there’s something going on I want to be able to tell it to you straight; all you have to do is trust me. So, I’m really grateful for you.

LYN: In this industry, I don’t really have a competitor- because I’m not worthy of having one. I was chatting with a jiejie the other day, and she was wondering if there was anyone in this industry that overlapped with me. Someone that could be seen as my competitor. She didn’t think there was one. Because I’m not even in the same race track as everyone else. I stream, I sing, I act- there’s pretty much no one else out there doing all three. I don’t really have any competition, so I am a bit of a unique existence. But I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to interact with you all or work in this industry the same way as everyone else does. That’s why I wish for my fans to be different from everyone else’s as well. Let’s not carry any ill-intent. If there’s something that makes others happy, we can learn from it. But please, let us not become malicious. I don’t want us to become like them. If that happens, what will make us different? LYN: Also, I’ve been a cook!

- /sneezing/ LYN: Who’s talking smack about me? When I was little I heard the grown-ups say that if you sneeze twice in a row then that means someone is cursing you. I was being so honest with you, and you have the gall to curse at me?! What the heck... C: It means someone is thinking of you. LYN: THREE sneezes means someone is thinking of you. I remember hearing the elders said: 1 sneeze means someone mentioned you, 2 sneezes means someone is cursing you, 3 sneezes means someone is thinking of you. I think that’s how it went. C: Then, sneeze again. LYN: No~ LYN: “Woman, you’re playing with fire. I suggest you restrain yourself.”

C: Those are some feudal superstitions (foolish behavior, not backed by science; baidu) LYN: What are you- you’re trying to ruin me, is that it? Are you even my fan? This line of thinking makes you absolutely qualified to be an anti-fan; this ability of yours to take my words and twist them to a higher level of intellect in order to discredit me. I said that if you sneezed once then someone mentioned you, if you sneezed twice then someone is cursing you, and if you sneezed three times then someone is thinking of you. And then someone comes out and says, “Liu Yuning is spreading feudal superstitions during his livestream!” I think this burden might ruin me- what are you doing?? Stop trying me. LYN: I’m sure everyone is living under a lot of pressure nowadays. Be a little more tolerant. Don’t waste your energy. We can all live nicely. Work well. Study well. Live well. Treat people with kindness, because kindness begets kindness. Evil begets evil. Ill-intentions are always met with retribution. Is that also a feudal superstition? Kindness begets kindness and evil begets evil?

--

C: Ning-ge, is the beauty filter on? LYN: Of course it is. I’ll tell you honestly. It’s on. ... But not high. Normally when I stream I’ll turn on the options for blur and brightness. I don’t really turn on the other ones. Look at my eyes- they’re so small. They look especially small today because I don’t have any eye makeup. today I woke up and washed my face, and then came to stream. Okay, I didn’t wash my face- I put on some BB cream, and THEN came to stream.  C: It’s polite to turn on the beauty filter. LYN: Right! It’s the New Year and everyone is coming in to see me stream, so what point is there in showing a very haggard appearance? Freshening up is out of respect to my viewers. If someone on the street walked up to you and it was clear they didn’t shower in days... wouldn’t you feel disrespected? C: Givenchy’s foundation? LYN: Oh, my mistake. I put on some foundation earlier.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending at #22. LYN: I don’t believe you. ~I don’t believe what you’re saying is real. Woman- don’t trick me. Well, since I’m already trending, then I’ll sing a song and see if I can climb up in the ranks at all. Let’s see if I can use music to make people stay. I’ll sing a song.~ C: Man- this is real. LYN: ~Oh~ Is it truly real? I don’t believe it.~ C: This man’s voice sounds like Siri. LYN: /Siri voice/ I’m here.

LYN: Hey Siri. Siri: Hm? LYN: Oh, I actually activated it. Hey, Siri. Siri: Hm? LYN: Happy New Year. Siri: Happy New Year. I hope in this new year you as as bright and alert as a rabbit. LYN: Thank you. // I just exchanged New Year’s greetings with Siri. LOL.

C: My mom is asking when you’re going to come over and spend the New Year. LYN: Have you tricked your mother and told her that I’m your boyfriend? Is that how it is? Let me tell you, try not to use this lie. Because, once Auntie sees a young kid like me, her expectations will be raised. Then later when you want to bring a REAL boyfriend home, she won’t like them. This lie is likely to influence your future marriage prospects, understand? Don’t do this. Don’t lie to your mother. Your mother will say, “This one isn’t as good as Xiao Ning was.” That’s no good, right? This influences your future. Don’t do this. Be honest. Just tell her I’m your idol. “A super idol’s smile is not as sweet as yours.” Just tell her straight that I’m your idol. C: Ning-ge, on this you’re so manly. So confident. LYN: That’s right, I am the legendary “Pu-Xin Nan”- the “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) LYN: I am also the legendary “Ma-Bao Nan” (sounds like: Momma’s Boy, 妈宝男) = “Oh my goodness, a treasure boy!” (哎哟妈呀! 宝藏男孩.)

LYN: What song should I sing? I should sing something... // Let me sing this. This is a theme song made for the Palace Museum, sung by Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. It’s called “Heritage.” I gift this song to each and every friend who is with me right now. - 传�� (Heritage)

LYN: I was trying to make a joke earlier, and some of you have taken it seriously and are calling me a “momma’s boy”. I said “Ma-Bao Nan” and by that I meant “Oh my goodness, a treasure boy!” But you totally missed the point. Friends, I’m currently trending right now. A lot of people are seeing that I am trending and may just so happen to click into the stream. But if you keep spamming “momma’s boy” in the comments, they’re going to think there’s some sort of story here. You’re going to make me infamous. They’re going to think there’s a story here and they’re going to start digging. What happens if they start liking me? :) Whose fault is that? Initially they liked a different artist, but because they wanted to get to know me in order to dig up some dirt they started liking me instead. How am I supposed to explain this to my friends in this industry? So that’s why we shouldn’t take jokes too far, alright??  C: Whose fault? Liu Yuning’s. LYN: XD C: What is a “pu-xin nan”? LYN: “The most trustworthy man in all the world.” 

C: What about “xia-tou nan”? LYN: “xia-tou nan?” (下头男) [t/n: opposite of addicting “上头”; so... “off-putting”?] That is.. “one of the many other no.1 men in the world.” C: “Xia-Tou-Nan” is the “man who cuts his hair downstairs”. LYN: Do you own a hair salon??? This friend must own a salon- they live on the second floor and the shop is on the first floor downstairs. I’m guessing this fan is a girl, and her husband is a hair dresser who cuts customers’ hair downstairs. She calls her husband a “xia-tou-nan”- the man who cuts hair downstairs. XD C: Cutting your hair in the first month of the year? LYN: What’s wrong with that? Are you not allowed to? You really want to spread feudal superstitions here in LYN’s livestream?!? I’ll leave you with this burden instead. What’s wrong with cutting your hair in the first month? Are you trying to spread superstitions? Please leave. XD

- [t/n: this type of word pun goes on for a couple more examples, but I don’t want to translate bc I don’t understand them and my brain hurts, lol. But basically they are trying to make him give ah... alternate meanings to some common (non-pg) expressions. Chinese semantics.]

C: Ning-ge, how did you know I lived in a villa. - [t/n: got to this topic tangentially from one of the previous examples of word play//explanation.] LYN: Are you trying to show off your wealth? I’ve met two types of people who do this. The first kind are doing it purely as a bluff. The second are the kind of people who may really have a villa at home, but are the type of person who are the target of multiple types of scammers. If you have a villa, I want you to be wary, because I’m sure that there is someone on weibo sending you a private message to click into some link as a ploy to steal your savings. Because they see you have power. Or, it could be someone who changes their name to “Liu Yuning” and will pretend to have a conversation with you under the guise that I am on a secondary account. Because, since you have a villa, it means that your family must have quite a bit of financial prowess. If someone called “Liu Yuning” adds you, and you ask them “Are you Liu Yuning?” and they say, “Yes. This is Ning-ge’s secondary account.” and they start having a conversation with you, don’t rush it. Three months later they’re going to start asking to borrow 200RMB from you. They’ll say, “Ning-ge is having some trouble, can you wire me 200?” At that time just take a moment to think. It doesn’t matter if this Ning-ge is real or fake, they still chatted with you for three months. If you were paying them a salary, I’m sure you would still give the 200RMB. So, just be careful not to get scammed.

--

C: Ning-ge, I’ve run out of guazi. LYN: You’ve watched my streams so much that you ran out of guazi? What, should I go out and but 2kg and send it to your house? I should go out and find guazi for you? Should I add in some peanuts, too?? LYN: You event ell me when you’ve run out of guazi... you’re really... Really treating me like your waiter.

C: Ning-ge, I feel like your neck is a little short. LYN: I’m a cook. Friends, you should know that my neck is short because I’m a mess cook. Big face and thick neck, makes me a cook. It matches up. [t/n: this is some other word play]

LYN: ! ... :O ... >.> ... <.< ... Friends, my neighbors are fighting. It’s the new year, it’s not worth it. Do you hear it? C: I hear it. LYN: I don’t even hear anything. You must be having auditory hallucinations. Get that checked out. But anyway, they’re really fighting. Let me go take a look. Maybe I can get them to stop fighting. This is no good. I’m going to go take a look.Wait for me a sec, don’t go anywhere. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please subscribe. I’ll play you a video. Wait for me. -- break #2 LYN: Wait for me a little bit longer, I forgot to grab a bottle of water. LYN: !! My computer froze. No way. LYN: Let me grab some water. -- break #2.5

LYN: Alright friends, cheers. Wait, no. This music isn’t right, I need something more elegant. We can cheers. Friends, get some water.  - /plays 祝酒歌 (Toast Song)/ C: Is this elegant? LYN: No. But I’ve had such a big glass of orange juice, can you all have mercy on me? Thanks. C: My dad said this song is from his generation. LYN: What are you saying, bro? We’re of all of the same generation. Next, I’ll sing you something from our generation. Uh... what songs are there from our generation. Um... let me think. C: Searching for You. LYN: A song from our generation is “Searching for You”?? No, it’s not. Er... let me think... This is from our generation. - 上海灘 (Shanghai Bund) LYN: That’s from our generation, right? Hehe. C: Your Cantonese is so good. LYN: Well if you’re going to say that, then I’ll sing another. - 千千阙歌 (Thousands of Songs) LYN: Oh, it’s so high. Let me lower the key an octave and see if I can pull it off. LYN: Now I sound like an old man singing. I can’t do it. - 倩女幽魂  (A Chinese Ghost Story) - /sings the first verse/ LYN: That’s enough. - /lip syncs badly to his own song instead/

C: My Cantonese is as good as yours. LYN: Well, I am from Dongbei... it’s still a bit of a distance to Guangdong.

--

C: Fake singing. Get out! LYN: Didn’t think there would be a day you would catch me lip syncing. Was it really so fake? Because the mic wasn’t even near my mouth? - /sings for real/ LYN: /sigh/ Lip syncing. Actually some people can make it look really real. Usually there are a few different kinds of lip syncing. The first is that you’re just moving your mouth. /demonstrates/ It looks fake, right? It’s actually not like this. There are other ways, one of which is: play the music, mute the mic, and sing for real. I’m still singing my part, but the mic isn’t picking up any audio. That’s one way to make it seem more real. /demonstrates/ C: You can still tell. LYN: Oh no. I can’t trick you anymore, in the future. C: I knew it was fake. LYN: Because you KNEW it was fake. C: Ning-ge, you didn’t mess up the lyrics. You must be lip syncing. LYN: If I didn’t sing it wrong then I must be faking. That’s true. There’s nothing wrong with that logic. LYN: No- it’s because the audio and video don’t quite match up, right now. Watch me speaking. It doesn’t quite match up with my lip movement because there’s a bit of a delay in the stream. All online streams have a bit of delay. It’s because mine is too HQ. My stream setting is high, so it takes bit longer to transmit. This is normal. 

--

LYN: Alright, I’m here to chat and sing a little. What time did I come today? Let me see how long I’ve been streaming for. 2 hours and 55 minutes. LYN: I saw they released statistics of my streaming for last year. I found out that ever since I started in the YNGS crew, there’s a big gap. My streaming time got short. I wasn’t quite awake enough. But it’s okay. It’s still early. It’s 9:44p. Be honest, guys, are you sleepy? If you’re sleepy then I’ll leave. Are you sleepy? It’s the second day of the new year! I want to wish you a happy new year. I hope you are all healthy and everything goes as you wish. It’s rare that you are able to take this time and spend it with your family. I’m going to enjoy this period of time as well, and then it’s back to the grind. C: What are you saying? I’m not sleepy. / High school late classes haven’t even let out yet. LYN: ?_? Are you serious. School is that hardcore now? You’re at school on the second day of the new year and late classes aren’t even over yet? Are you for real? Or are you talking on a normal day. You can’t mean right now, right?? LYN: Why don’t I believe you? I mean- it’s not that I don’t believe you, but... Oh! I see high school USUALLY lets out at 10p, but not today- the second day of the new year-, right? Normally- okay, I can understand. I was thinking you were going to be at school this late even today- that’s TOO miserable. It’s good that’s not the case. C: School starts on the 6th day of the new year. LYN: Students are under a lot of pressure, too. It’s like you’re going to work already. You are all the future of society. And, I always say this, because I didn’t go to college and I’m not that educated- but when you really enter into society and start working then you’re really going to cherish the time you spent in school. You’re going to cherish that forever. You may be thinking that it’s difficult to keep going, but once you get over it and you really start working then you’re going to miss the days you were in school. Cherish the time you have now, friends.

C: Ning-ge, you’re 30+ and haven’t had a break, no one is working as hard as you. LYN: I still take a break. But I’m working today. Originally, the crew had planned to start filming on the third day of the new year. But a few days before the new year they told us that we would start at the end of the month instead. In that case I have a few days to rest. It’s the 23rd today, so I still have two days.

C: I just noticed you’re wearing short sleeves. LYN: I have an air conditioner. I’m not cold. You don’t have to worry about me.

LYN: Some of you want to see my foot. My foot’s alright. It will still take a month and a half to heal. Thanks for worrying about me. I’m okay. And anyway, men fight, right? (爷们要战斗) I can do it. It’s just another month or so.

--

- /grabs Daimi/ LYN: A lot of you want to see Daimi. She hasn’t had a bath in a few days, so she looks a little messy. I didn’t want to let her on camera because she looks a little worse for wear. I wanted to preserve her artists image. Well, anyway. LYN: /to Daimi/ Greet everyone for the New Year.  - /delivering Daimi’s greetings/

LYN: Here, why don’t you sing? /tries some “ventriloquism”/ You sing so well! /continues/

C: Daimi only has eyes for you. LYN: Not so. You all just like to make everything sound so wonderful. Today, I’m going to have to burst that bubble. You like to make a lot of things so nice, but really my dog looks down on me. Of course I have a lot of people in my group and among them she is the closest to me- to her, I’m a one of a kind existence. But I used to have a rule. I used to have a dog, before- Youmi. This is Daimi. I wouldn’t let my dogs sleep on the bed. They can be in the house, but not on the bed. I used to think that a grown man petting a cat and hugging his dog wasn’t... I don’t know- wasn’t doing anything proper? Since I grew up with my grandparents- it’s an old way of thinking that I grew up with. So I didn’t hold or let my dogs sleep on the bed.. but not this one. I must be under her spell.  LYN: She’s pretty foolish; her IQ’s a little low but her EQ is high. Sometimes I grab her onto the bed, and then sleep with her. But not in the blankets- I’m in the blankets and I put her on top and pet her as I go to sleep. She has something against me. The longest shell stay is an hour, before she leaves. It used to be that I didn’t let my dogs on the bed. Now I have a dog that doesn’t WANT to be on the bed. She goes to her room; it must be more comfortable for her there than on my bed.

LYN: You can tell with one look into her eyes that she doesn’t have a high IQ. I’m not trying to diss her or make fun of her or anything. She’s just really cute. She doesn’t have those bad habits- like other dogs will chew on your shoes or rip things apart and break things- she doesn’t. If you GIVE her a shoe to chew on she doesn’t like it. She won’t chew on electrical wires, either. She’s just a really foolish puppy and doesn’t have any bad habits. LYN: But she does have one lately- and it’s that she likes to bark. She’s a little older than two now, and for the first year and a half I thought she was mute. She had never barked before. At most she would growl, but not bark. But in the recent year and a half she must have drifted. After she realized she was an artist she got spoiled. She barks every day. She barks at whoever’s at the door. Sometimes when I’m on set the director or other actors will come to see me- she barks at them. She used to be good, which is why I said her EQ is high. When I am filming sometimes a drama, company, or platform director will stop by and monitor. They’ll stop by and have a rest in my RV. She used to know her manners. If four people got on the car, she would greet whoever was the leader. For example, if four people got on the car and one of them was a woman from the company’s platform, very amazing... She’ll climb right into her lap! She’ll hug her leg and pretend to be cute. Normally they all like dogs so they indulge her. She’s such a good puppy. She’s helping me make connections! I’m guessing some of the jobs I even got were BECAUSE they liked her. She’ll greet all four but in the end she will go found the leader. C: She in estrus? LYN: But my dog is female, what would she be going around hugging people’s legs for?? LYN: Anyway, she’s not the same now. She barks at whoever comes. She doesn’t care about the platform or producers anymore. It’s gone to her head. XD Artists, man. I see in the past year and a half she’s becoming famous in her own right. She even has her own SuperTopic. So her attitude is changing. But the good thing is that she only barks and never tries to bite anyone. Sometimes she goes wild with barking and I think, “It’d be nice if you actually bit...”. Sometimes the person who comes will know her already, so they pick her up while she’s barking... and she continues to bark in their arms. Who is she barking at?? Maybe she’s barking at the outside? - /Daimi barks/ C: She heard you talking smack about her. LYN: I’ve ruined her reputation. Her market value is dropping. - /looks at Daimi on the floor... points at her./ LYN: What are you looking at??

LYN: She doesn’t even care when I call her name. So I call her something different. My dog has two names now. The first is “Daimi”. The second is “Want a sausage?” If I look at her and say “Want a sausage?” she’s so happy she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

--

C: Are you still going to stream next month? LYN: You’re already onto next month? I was planning to stream again this month.. You already want plans for next month??  LYN: If I’m not that busy with filming for this drama, I’ll go back to streaming how I did before. I used to so at least two-three streams a month, at the least. If I’m not too busy... but I will be busy at the start! Because I’m just entering the crew and need to get used to the character and read the script and things like that. I should be less busy later, though, When I’ve acclimated. It should be no problem.

C: Wasn’t filming going to start at the end of the month? LYN: Yeah, but I’ve got to make preparations before that. We have to do a script reading, set costuming and hair and makeup. There are lots of things to do. Just hair/makeup- I think last time for YNGS it took two days. I was trying on clothes for three. But I think that the look for YNGS- in my personal opinion- is the coolest I’ve looked of the drama’s I’ve shot in the past couple years. I think I look a bit more handsome in this than the others, because I’ve already told the producers to add some beauty filters for me. “I’m begging you. I’ll do really good in for my voice-acting, so please add in some post-editing for me.” C: Ning-ge, that’s not professional. LYN: No, you don’t get it. It’s because every drama edits in post-production anyway. If you think about my past dramas you’ll find that in any scene I am in the same frame as an actress I have a beauty filter. But when I’m in the same frame as an actor then it’s lacking. You can ponder on the reasoning for that yourselves. Isn’t it? Whenever I was in the same frame as an actor there was pretty much no filter, so I looked so terrible that it was hard to keep watching. But when I’m in the same frame as an actress there’s a filter. This time around I asked the production jiejie if she could add the filter whether I’m with a man or a woman. It doesn’t matter if I’m with an old guy or a great auntie, please add the filter for us all.  C: It looks more textured/realistic without it. LYN: You’re not wrong. ...But you must be an outsider. Where do you think “texture” comes from? Do you think it comes from not adding a beauty filter? As long as there’s no filter, there’s texture? Then, if I record something with my phone does it have texture or not? Having a filter and having texture have nothing to do with each other. Where does texture come from? One of you said it right. It comes from the Thermage. If your face looks good then anything looks textured. 

LYN: I didn’t know this before, but I recently realized that whether you look good or not is very important, for an actor. It’s not extremely important, but for a young actor I think it tends to be more important than most. I say this because... sometimes a person won’t need to do anything and they’re successful, because their face already captured my attention. That’s why I feel like it’s important to have good looks.  C: You’re good looking, too! LYN: I’m just average. In terms of appearance I’m really just average.

C: I went out to play for a bit and came back, but you’re still streaming. LYN: See? This is what it’s like to like LYN. It doesn’t matter if you go out and play, when you turn back I will be here waiting. Even if you go and move on to liking someone else- you can go out and play around- when you come back, I’ll still be here. How romantic is that?

C: Have you determined any variety shows for this year yet? LYN: No, I haven’t made a decision on any of them. Do you think this industry OWES me??? You think I have resources backing me?? Who do you think is pulling the strings in order to get me drama roles AND variety show appearances? Honestly, there are a lot of companies who want to make variety shows, but whether those shows can become come to fruition depends on whether or not they can find sponsors. If they can’t find sponsors, then they can’t make the show. If we had someone just throwing money at shows, we could definitely make them happen, but... now we’re just waiting for those money throwing bosses to show up in the first place.

C: Are you still streaming this month? LYN: Didn’t I just- I don’t know whether I’ll stream again this month or not. We’ll see. I’ll start to be busy again in a couple days. If I’m not too tired I’ll come to stream. It’s not like my stream is some big event that I have to prepare for. I just have to grab my computer and start a stream. At the most it will only cause me to waste a little foundation. XD It’s just that simple. It’s not as if I have any staff support- I don’t. There’s no one else here with me. My staff work well with me- when I’m streaming they’re either outside or not here at all. If there’s someone in the house with me, I can’t stream. I’ll be thinking of too many things. Streaming is easy for me. If I feel like it, I just get on my computer and start. It’ll only cost me in electricity. All it needs is one person and one dog, and we’re ready to go. C: Are you shy? LYN: It’s not that I’m shy, I just want a space where I am alone to stream. I’m just more relaxed that way.

C: Has Modern Brothers Liu Yuning Studio had a change in personnel lately? LYN: I’ve seen that too. They say I’ve changed staff, so they think I’m doing well for myself. Another thing they say is that the boss (himself) must have given year-end bonuses. Because I’ve done some photo shoots. It’s not that. I didn’t used to post any photos like this because I just don’t like taking them. I really don’t. They always tell me, “Boss, let’s take some photos” and I always tell them no. I find it bothersome. LYN: The new year, for example- I went to Jiangsu and sang three songs. 魔法药水 (You are my Magic), 笑红尘 (Laughing at the Mundane World), and 寻一个你 (Searching for You). I sang them all live. I know I’m a singer but singing three songs live had me panicking too! If I sang one wrong lyrics it would be live broadcast for everyone to see. Singing live is fine, but singing for a live broadcast makes me nervous too. If I sang badly just once it would just be out there, with no way to stop it. So all through that night I was really nervous. I was already nervous in the dressing room- my hands were ice cold and I was shaking. It’s not as serious as it sounds, but in any case I was a mess. This event only happen once a year, I didn’t want to embarrass myself on New Year’s, of all days. If I embarrass myself on the New Year it’s like embarrassing myself for two year’s worth of time. (the year going and the year coming). LYN: So I was nervous, and my staff were asking if they could shoot some photos. Previously, I would have said, “Let’s not take any photos. You’re making me more nervous than I need to be. I’m already THIS close to wetting myself, and you want to take photos?? Don’t bother me!” This includes other events, too- artists always take pre-carpet photos, right? I didn’t use to like those. First of all, it costs money and secondly, in order to take those photos I would need to get up an hour and half earlier than I would need to. Why would I take photos when I could use that time to lie down for a while- take a nap or watch a movie? For should I wake early to get into hair and makeup, and then to take pictures?? Taking photos is the thing I dislike the most. Why do you think my studio doesn’t have photos? It’s because I don’t want to take any. Some of you fans actually curse at my studio because of that. My staff are wronged for no reason. I’ve said this before as well- it’s just that /I/ don’t like taking the pictures. LYN: But this year I’ve had a bit of an epiphany. It’s just because I don’t have much to do this year. Rather, I haven’t shown my face outside ever since I entered into the YNGS crew. A lot of galas and events invited me, but I didn’t go. The truth is I’m afraid that my fans have seen too little of me. That’s why for these end of the year events I’ve tried to take pictures while I could. I’m thinking one year (since the last photo shoot) has been long enough. LYN: You may get the feeling that my studio has changed staff because it’s been too long since we posted photos. This time we went a little hard with it. It’s like starving you for half a month. I guarantee you’ll be happy with whatever I put in front of you. You’ll be full and satisfied.

LYN: Also, at Jiangsu I sang You are My Magic, right? Did you hear what other song we put in there? I sang a bit of 帶我去找夜生活 (Night Life. Take us to the Light). Did you watch it? I was watching the playback, and there was a comment saying, “Jiangsu is too unprofessional. This song is clearly You Are My Magic AND Night Life, but they only wrote the title of one. How unprofessional.” I was thinking, “Friend, you’re too naive.” If I had tacked the second song title on there, the performance might not have been able to air. You want Jiangsu Satellite TV to tell you that they are broadcasting a song called “Take me to find the Night Life”?? You have to take that into consideration, child. There are problems with that. LYN: Also, originally I was only planning on singing Magic, but after I heard it, I felt like it would fall a little flat because the second half of the song pretty much repeats the same verse. I asked them if we could add a song into the middle. They asked me which song, so I suggested another one of the band’s songs. Just stick it in there and be done with it. Jiangsu didn’t blink and eye, and spent a lot of money to buy the copyrights to just four lines of the additional song. And you still think they’re unprofessional?? Jiangsu is so good to me, really. They have never held back when it came to musical performances. C: Which four lines? - /doesn’t fall for the bait/

C: What about the camera shots? LYN: Now we’re on a different topic- I really don’t want to talk about this one. Let’s not. - [t/n: Fans of Liu Yuning and Zhang Yifan were fighting because LYN was singing Searching for You, his song, but the camera mostly focused on ZYF, who was featured as a dancer. LYN had to make a statement telling fans to delete their malicious comments about ZYF, and ZYF also stepped up to tell her fans not to fight with LYN’s.]

C: Which four lines? LYN: Just those four, you know. How does it go? - /plays the lines: If you have not yet slept; If I have not stopped chasing. If being sober is a crime, then I’ll take my oath and exchange it for a promise not to return./ - /prepares to sing it, suddenly stops/ LYN: Feels like I’m missing something if I don’t have my guitar. Let me get it. Everybody get hyped! -- 帶我去找夜生活 (Night Life. Take us to the Light)

C: Ning-ge, can you sing one of Wang Sulong’s songs? LYN: WSL’s copyrights are too intense. You can’t find accompaniments for his tracks anywhere online. I really would like to sing one, but there are no accompaniments so I can’t really sing them. There’s nothing I can do.

C: Any fun stories from the New Year’s galas? LYN: No? It was normal. Other than the fact that I was pretty nervous. The other thing I was nervous about was if I attended the event and then later got sick. Everything else was pretty normal.

C: Were you happy to sit next to Mao Buyi? LYN: Are you MBY’s fan?? You must be. That is- how happy would two friends be to sit together? That’s how happy we were. I’d just like to ask, how happy did you expect me to be? That’s normal too. Did I have to be happier because I’d seen a celebrity? LYN: It was pretty mystical too, though. He just happened to be wearing a long white coat. It was a windbreaker, but it just so happened to be white. From the back he really did look a lot like a doctor or nurse. He used to be a nurse, I think. Then my leg happens to be crippled. We went up on stage together- he with his white coat and me with my broken foot- and it looked like a doctor helping his patient. That was so strange, and purely coincidence. We didn’t discuss our outfits beforehand at all. Also, I didn’t know that we would be getting our awards together.

C: The sound is too loud. LYN: Which sound? Do you mean the music? Are you using headphones or are you just playing from your phone speakers? If you’re using speakers you might think it’s a little loud because of the noise. Wearing headphones is better. Here in my stream- look at those flashing lights back there. If I just had these in my house normally, would you think I were insane? I installed these lights to bring up the mood of my stream. The music and lights is to create the sense of atmosphere. The sound of the music is to give you the feeling like you are at a bar. Not only does it close the distance between us, it also serves to surround you with the mood. C: Ning-ge is this your study (book room)? LYN: I don’t read books. There is no “study” to speak of. This is a computer room. As a “pu-xin-nan” our houses don’t have book rooms. There are only computer rooms. 

C: Can minors watch Ning-ge’s stream? LYN: Yeah, just turn on your child-monitoring. You should be asking this question to your parents. I advise, if you are a minor, that you should have parental supervision while watching. Still, have a guardian watch you while you are watching my stream. First of all, though, I have my gifting options closed so you don’t have to worry about your child accidentally spending money here. Secondly, I don’t sell anything, so there are no ways that I can take advantage of you. My stream is here purely as a material benefit to you all. So when you turn on child-monitoring, if I happen to say something that happens to be sensitive, it will automatically censor me. For example, earlier I said that I sang a song called “Night Life. Take us to the Light” at Jiangsu TV- with the monitoring, minors can’t hear those words at all. Just turn the function on and you’ll be fine.

C: My mom doesn’t let me chase stars, so she doesn’t want me to watch at all. LYN: Then, then what can you do? If your mom doesn’t want you to chase stars, then don’t. Have you ever heard the song, “Listen to your mother. Don’t let her get hurt.”? ( 聽媽媽的話 | Listen to Mother’s Words) “I want to grow up quickly, so I can protect her.” If your mom doesn’t want you to chase stars then don’t, I guess. Don’t make it seem like we’re meeting up secretly behind her back. She doesn’t want you to chase stars, and yet here you are. That makes it seem like our relationship between idol and fan can’t be seen by the public.

C: My mom said you’re noisy. LYN: /sigh/ Yeah? What did you want me to turn on my stream and we would pray together (in silence)? Do you want to have a staring contest? Here, let me play some soothing music for you. LYN: ~Alright. Follow me as we breathe in deeply. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Until the end.~ LYN: You’d be sleepy in no time!

LYN: Oh, I almost forgot. Are you watching Choice Husband (择君记 | Ze Jun Ji) at all, friends? There’s a song in there... that I sang. I heard that this drama is pretty good, and it’s one of my good friend- Zhang Xueying- ‘s works. The first drama I shot, Hot Blooded Youth, I worked with her. I was just a little idiot at the time. She had already debuted and become a prominent actress way before that. She was a child actress. She was the first female actress I worked with and working with her was great. She took good care of me, being a rookie actor as I was. Even though I was old in age. But in front of her I was just a rookie actor, so she looked out for me. Anyway, this is her drama called Choice Husband and I have a song in it called 愿重逢 (Wish to Reunite). You can go listen- I mean, go watch it. -  愿重逢 (Wish to Reunite), Choice Husband OST C: You sang so well I feel emotional. LYN: Aiyo, that’s unlikely.

C: Heroes, Choice Husband, A New Life Begins, and A Dream of Splendor. LYN: I sang for them all, right? Thanks. You must not be my fan. LYN: /mocking himself/ “LYN, just stick to singing. Stop acting.” LYN: I should still act. I still have to act... C: Your acting-fans don’t accept (that you stop acting). LYN: I’ll act. I still have to. I’ve got some OSTs down for the next year, and if I have time I’ll still accept more drama roles. C: Singers should stick to singing. Stop acting. LYN: A lot of actors are starting to sing now too, though. Right? Be more tolerant. It’s the same. Whether you’re an actor or a singer, I think ability is a large part of it. Only when you have the ability to do something, should you do it. Not just tacking on useless titles.

C: It’s been so long since I watched one of your streams. LYN: Because I haven’t streamed in a long time. But it’s the new year now and I have some time to come stream. Mostly because I’m afraid you would miss me too much.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending at #2. LYN: Stop saying nonsense. There’s no way I could be at #2. You must be subscribed to me, so you accidentally clicked on “my topics” and not “recommended”. I’ll believe you if you said I’m second among those you have subscribed to. Don’t mess around. You can’t even work weibo? LYN: I was trending earlier, but not now. There are so many people in the world, there’s no way I could be up there for so long. LYN (anti): LYN, I’m telling you, you should be happy that you are even qualified to be trending in the first place. Don’t be picky. It’s good enough that you were up there. Don’t get full of yourself. LYN: Thank you to everyone watching. You gave me a trending topic today. So if you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so.

C: My mom wants me to go to bed at 11p. LYN: Why do you keep telling me what your mom wants? Do you think I can save you?? Earlier someone told me that their mother didn’t want them to chase stars. What could I say?? I told her not to chase stars. Now you’re telling me your mom wants you to sleep at 11p- do you think I can tell you NOT to go to sleep? If she wants you to sleep at 11p, then go sleep. If you’re sleepy, go to sleep. There’s still the playback. Just watch this tomorrow. There’s that song, right? Listen to Mother’s Words, don’t let her get hurt. You want to quickly grow up so that you can protect her. /continues reciting the lyrics/

C: My mom told me not to play with the opposite gender. LYN: Well, by that logic- I’m not playing with you. Who’s playing with you? Secondly, she probably means in real life? But it depends on what you’re playing. Normally, if you’re playing a game in school it should be fine. You mom probably just doesn’t want anyone bullying you. This is not an all-encompassing statement, though. You’ve got to find a husband eventually, right? She’s going to make you not like boys...

C: Is Chong Zhi going to air soon? LYN: Don’t ask me when a drama will be airing. I really don’t know. Honestly, I can ASK but there’s no real NEED to. Are you’re making me out to be a gossip blog and I should tell you whenever a drama is about to air? I remember I saw one that said ALZ would air in October of last year. Because the interest in ALZ is pretty high, right? So last year I saw a blog saying that they predict ALZ would air in October. I saw that and I wanted to punch them in the mouth. I wanted to say, “I haven’t even done my voice acting yet. X’D You say it’s going to air in October, you must be crazy!” They had just sent me the OST, and you’re telling me it’ll air in October?? LYN: It’s true that I recorded the OST fairly early. But I hadn’t done any of my voice acting yet. The gossip blogs aren’t accurate. For a lot of dramas whether it will air or not... /doesn’t continue/ C: When’s ALZ airing? LYN: I don’t know. It should be soon. 

LYN: The other day I was having dinner with my next director and they said to me, “Yesterday I saw some gossip online that said you have a drama with Jing Tian? It’s said to start in March? I took one look at our contract and said, “That’s fake news.”” Because in March I’ll be with HIS drama crew. LYN: I think of it like this- the fact that gossip blogs even deign to mention me means that they look highly upon me. Right? Let’s look at this from an objective standpoint. I’m not thinking of myself as an artist who’s all that- honestly speaking, I’m doing well for myself. The fact that gossip blogs are willing to mention my name mean that they look well upon me. By this, I mean in two aspects: 1) they think I’m good enough to participate in such an amazing project, or 2) they’re just mentioning me so that people can come curse at me, and that way their account will see traffic. That’s a second kind of recognition, but it’s recognition all the same.  LYN: That’s why I’m a “pu-xin-nan”- “the man most easily trusting of other people in all the world” (普天之下最容易相信别人的男人) C: They’re trying to ride off your tears. LYN: If think you were trying to type “fame” (liulang) but typed “tears” (liulei) instead. Also, I don’t have any fame

C: What’s your next drama? LYN: Don’t rush. You’ll know in the next couple of days. Then when the time comes, all you have to do is watch. C: Is it modern or historical? LYN: Guzhuang. C: The script is in for a big change. LYN: Why does the script have to change? Because my foot’s broken? No- it’s long been settled. They’re not going to change the script just for me. I’m not worthy of doing so. I can still shoot everything. I was still shooting for YNGS, even! For more than a month. It’s all the same. Even if you’re disabled you can still shoot dramas, still do fight scenes, still ride horses. It’s just that the horse can’t be running. For YNGS I had a few later shots that had to be done with the horse. I can get up onto it but since my foot has this on it- /shows his foot in its boot again/- this boot- we covered it a little with the clothes- but the problem is that I can’t put this foot into the stirrup. My left foot can go into it, but my right foot is just hanging. I can still ride slowly, but not gallop because for that you need both legs giving strength so you can control the horse. But anyway, I can still film all the same. I can still do the fight scenes, still do the wire-work. It’s not problem. I can still shoot the drama.

//

C: Does Daimi get any red envelopes? LYN: Daimi? No. But I gave her a lot of tasty things to eat. Yesterday I had dumplings and gave her two. It counts as having celebrated the new year. We had dumplings on the new year, too. Last night I felt a little hungry so I cooked more dumplings, and gave some to her. She doesn’t get red envelopes. She won’t know how to spend the money anyway. Little kids don’t know how to spend money. C: Can dogs EAT dumplings? LYN: In moderation. You just can’t feed it to them all the time. C: She’s not a “little kid” she’s a “little dog”.  LYN: Same difference. She’s still small. It’s just an expression, oh my goodness...

C: Are you male lead or second lead? LYN: Technically speaking I’m third male lead. I’m playing the male lead’s brother. I come out on screen... and then I immediately die in battle. That’s my situation... and then I can wrap up! But, this scene is so complex that I need four months to prepare for it. I have to work out how this character should die: every breath, every drop of blood, and how I should die. What words should I say before my death? All of those require months of preparation. C: He’s not taken away by aliens? LYN: Here’s the thing- I play the male lead’s brother and die on the battlefield in the first episode. After I die, I come back in the last episode on a UFO. Actually I’m not dead, I was just taken by aliens. I participated in an intergalactic war and after two battles I was brought back. I return in glory. C: What’s the book called? LYN: The book is called... “Fun Tales of an Alien and I”. Does this book have fans? LYN: “The Days I was Abducted by Aliens” is also a good name. This book has two names. It’s a good book. Look it up immediately, it’s the drama I’ll be shooting next.

C: Ning-ge, is that a Hogwarts pin? LYN: No, it’s Donald Duck. It says, “Get rich” *(发财). LYN: I hope that this year the group of friends watching my stream right now can all “get rich”.

LYN: I’ve been thinking of watching a movie lately. A lot of my friends said they went to watch a movie during the new year. I kind of want to watch The Wandering Earth II. Maybe when I have some time in the next couple days.

LYN: It’s about time, friends. Someone earlier said their mom wanted them to sleep at 11p. I guess they already went to sleep, then. It’s about time for me, too. I have’t eaten yet and so I need to make something to eat later.

C: Eating late night snacks isn’t healthy. LYN: Let’s discuss this topic of “late eating”. This friend says that eating late at night isn’t healthy, but there’s also a saying that goes “A man is not rich without external wealth, and a horse is not fat without night grass. (人无外财不富，马无夜草不肥) So from a certain aspect man and a horse are the same. Why are some people prone to being fat? Because they eat late night snacks. But if you say it’s not good (healthy)... I don’t agree. It depends on circumstance. For example, if you’re going to get abducted by aliens for it, that’s bad. But to me, as someone who lives on the Earth, who just woke up this afternoon, a “late night snack” is actually my “breakfast”. It’s my first meal, so it’s “breakfast”. Are you going to tell me that breakfast is bad for you?? This is reasonable, right? So we can’t say that late night snacks in and of themselves are bad, rather the TIME that you eat them determines whether they are good or bad. If I woke up this afternoon and still haven’t eaten, but you tell me that late night snacks are bad so I skip the meal and go straight back to sleep... I’d have gone a whole day without eating. Tell me, is not eating all day good for you or is eating late snacks good for you? LYN: If it were any other topic I wouldn’t chat with you about it. But since you brought up the topic of food I HAVE to chat about it, as a cook myself. I have officially learned for two years and worked for two years as a cook. So once you start talking food with me, I get excited because it has to do with my profession. If you were to try to talk to me about aliens I won’t try to carry the conversation. But as soon as you talk about eating and food I have to put a word in, because it’s my job. Also, us cooks have a course on Nutrition and Wellness. We have a book- though I didn’t read it- but I have it. But maybe because I have this book, I would know more about this topic than most. So I want to talk to you about it. I won’t argue about any other topic.

LYN: I’m thankful for everyone who is still here and who have watched my stream. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo please do so. You can come watch me the next time I stream. If you have time, of course. If you’ve got something going on, continue with your business. You can still subscribe, though. It’s not shameful. It’s not shameful to subscribe to Modern Brothers Liu Yuning’s weibo.  LYN: Thank you to everyone who kept me company tonight, even if you came and spent only a little bit of time. I’m grateful for your company. Let’s meet the next time there’s an opportunity, alright? I wish everyone a happy, relaxing, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I’m happy you came. Let’s meet the next time. Good night, everyone~

[oddeyevibes]

Ch 4 - Injured Trash Buddies

Words: 1753

A/N: I don’t think there will be much in terms of romance when it comes to this story since this is more snippet-centric but it’ll grow more through the series as they gain more experience and things get complicated.……I can still try though. Also, do y’all name reader or nah? Cause I’m curious as to what y’all names for her are

“This was a mistake bringing you along. This is so…” Ada let out a defeated sigh. 

“This is not fun for me either.” You shot back. 

“I told you to stay with Leon.” 

“Evie will take care of him.” 

Ada sighed. “Y/N, is it? That is a dog.” 

“Woah, woah. Evie’s not just a dog. She’s family and she’s protected me for years. Like one time these three girls were bullying me in middle school and she scared them all off.” 

“It’s not hard for a dog like that to scare off some little girls.” 

“I didn’t say they were little school. One of them went home with 9 fingers.” 

Ada gave you a shocked look. Then her gaze went down to your ankle. You were trying your best not to move it so much due to the new sprain.

“What happened to your leg earlier? I saw it was bandaged up.” She inquired. 

“Some asshole shot at me in my leg. Leon found me and patched me up.” You looked over at her thigh. “Guess it’s still better than a piece of metal through my thigh.” 

Ada let out a soft chuckle as she moved her hand up to her thigh for another attempt to remove the stick but to no avail as pain was sent through her body. She let out an audible yelp. 

“Hang on…” you told her. 

Rather than trying to stand on it, you moved your body around till you were on your knees before proceeding to crawl over towards her. Trying to mentally block the fact that you were crawling on garbage. 

Ada tensed a bit but tried to come off as calm as possible. “What are you doing?”

“Relax.” You told her calmly. 

You sat next to her, taking extra caution so as to not aggravate your ankle. You let out a tired breath before looking her in the eyes. 

“This might hurt a bit.” 

She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/N.” 

“We can’t leave that thing in there.” 

“Maybe we should just wait for Leon to—”

“The longer we wait, the worse it’ll be. Besides, in a situation like…this” you gestured around the both of you. “I think we should stay away from every type of infection we can.” 

“And then?” 

You were silent for a moment as you shrugged. “We’ll have to work our way back to Leon and Evie.” 

The agent rolled her eyes. “That’s an even worse idea. Both of us are in no position to be walking and if we encounter—”

Ada could’ve sworn she black out for a moment when she felt the piece of metal being yanked from the meat of her thigh. 

A painful relief soon washed over as she felt blood run along her leg before you quickly closed it up, wrapping it in the gauze. 

Even with the remnants of the pain slowly fading, Ada’s nerves were still rattled. She did her best to take deep breaths all the while trying to remain as cool and collected as her persona needed. 

Mainly, she didn’t want you to see her be anything but the mysterious FBI agent she came off as. Even if for a moment she forgot that this was her current persona.

But, it was very obvious. 

You let out a laugh. “You know, I’m sure the government’s not gonna get upset with you for showing emotion.” 

“What?” 

“You…you’re trying to act like you’re unbreakable. It’s cool, I’ve been a victim of the mysterious babe every now and then. Lemme tell you, it’s when they don’t let up with that act that they get annoying.” 

Your voice strained as you attempted to stand, using the nearby wall as a crutch. Being as careful as possible as to not accidentally tap your foot against the floor or anything sharp trash that could aid in agitating your sprain.

Ada scoffed. “I’m not…putting on front. It’s called professionalism.” She glanced at your covered ankle. “This is a terrible plan.” She muttered.

You extended a hand, still wanting to help her up but she ignored it to attempt to stand on her own. 

“If I start losing control, then what type of message does that send to civilians?” She paused. “Like you.” 

“You mean the same civilians that you won’t tell the whole story to?”

“And what would that accomplish?”

Both of you were now leaning against the wall. Neither of you had taken that first step.

“Telling us what’s going on? It would accomplish a lot. Like is this all Umbrella’s fault? Is it the entire company or is it a few people? Are there are persons of interest? How long has the FBI been watching Umbrella and why did they wait for something to happen?” 

She didn’t respond. Of course, you didn’t know the real reason but her silence told you that this was just their way. Leaving you rolling your eyes. 

You didn’t really know what you expected in terms of a viable response. 

Ada did note the theme of your questions. You were looking for someone specific. 

The two of you were still leaning against the wall.

“Very optimistic of you to try and absolve whoever your looking for.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know someone who works at Umbrella. Someone very close to you and you wanna know if they have anything to do with all of this.” 

“….” You locked eyes with her, nothing but hope in your gaze.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s clear that whatever’s happening is at company level. Whoever you know probably is well aware of what Umbrella is doing.” 

You felt yourself deflate. You knew it, deep down. “That can’t be true…” You muttered.

“It…is possible that whoever you’re concerned about isn’t high enough to do anything about Umbrella’s corruption. We’ve had many potential whistleblowers suddenly vanish during investigations. The message to many of Umbrella’s lower workers was very clear.” Ada explained. 

No, that wasn’t true. Deep down you knew. You’re mother wasn’t on some high ranking council within the company. But she did have a pretty cushion of a position. 

One that granted her enough funds to own homes in other areas, pay for the rent of the penthouse you grew up in, higher the best care that money can buy and so on. 

She definitely didn’t have the paycheck of someone who was against what Umbrella is doing. She knew. 

“Outside of that general knowledge…my assignment is clear. I’m here for Annette Birkin. We’ll know all we need to know once I get to her.” 

Another pause before Ada spoke again. 

“From my reports…she has a daughter too, Sherry Birkin. 12 years old.” 

“Jeez…this is going terrible for me, I can’t imagine how she’s roughing it.” 

“IF she’s alive at all.” 

“Hey, don’t say that.” 

Ada rolled her eyes. “Be realistic, Y/N. What chances does a child have of surviving in a situation like this?” 

You shrugged. “It’s still not good on your mental health to be so…” 

“Pragmatic?” She smirked. 

“I’m not arguing against realism but…it can’t be good for someone’s psyche to just immediately assume a child is dead.” 

“Maybe so…but then how much more damage can a psyche get whenever you discover the harsh truth that you’ve been avoiding?” 

“I’m not avoiding the truth. I’m trying to keep it together. What use is it walking around thinking about all the kids, animals and thousands of innocent lives that have been cut short?! My neighbor shot his kid for Christ’s sake! And there’s a big fedora man hunting us down like a librarian that takes his job too damn seriously.” 

Ada didn’t respond. She was confused by the librarian comment though.

“As if the worst fucking thing to ever happen to this city isn’t enough. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that my mom would rather be apart of some fucked up experiments that raise her only ADOPTED child. Excuse me for thinking she chose me out of love and I’m now realizing that I don’t know what orphanage or foster home she got me from. That’s not even mentioning that my dog might be fucking…weird. I might be weird.” 

“….” 

“You’ve seen it. The animals are not attacking me. They’re not attacking Evie. Something is wrong with us and the only person who can tell me, hasn’t spoken to me in months. I don’t even think she knows I’m fighting for my fucking life out here.” You fumbled into a silence. “I just need to keep it together long enough to make it out of here and figure out what the hell is happening. I don’t know if I have to find her to do it, I don’t even know if I…WHERE DO I GO FOR ANSWERS ON THIS?!” 

Ada really didn’t know what to say. That was…a lot you dumped onto her. She couldn’t exactly offer you fake help either…or could she?

“I’m gonna get you and Leon out of here and I’ll see what I can do in terms of getting you answers.”

You didn’t give an immediate response, causing Ada to extend a hand to you. 

“I promise.” 

You hesitated. There was a part of you deep down that screamed not to trust her. But it was a small part. A pebble in comparison to the optimistic boulders that outnumbered it. So you took her hand. 

You were being played. 

And years down the line, when you would laugh on this with Leon about he fell for Ada, you’ll ignore how she did manage to crack you first. Even if it was just a little bit. 

“Alright,” you sighed. “Let’s attempt to walk.” 

You took Ada’s arm and threw it over your shoulder. You attempted to wrap your other arm around the back of her waist but she pulled herself back, almost causing the both of you to fall. 

“Actually…I think I should be the one doing the heavy lifting.” She reasoned. 

The agent then carefully wrapped her arm around the back of your waist, as she placed your arm over her shoulder. 

“Either way,” she added. “We should take our time and be careful.” 

You nodded. “Alright.” 

“Follow my lead cause we also have to move quietly.” She looked into your eyes with a caring intensity. “I’ve got you, alright?” 

You nodded slowly, you couldn’t help but admire her eyes. 

“I trust you.” You whispered. 

She flashed you a smile. “Good. I’ve got no time for stubbornness.”