alienthoughts

[alienthoughts]

— VEILIC ATTRACTION

[pt: veilic attraction]

a nonhuman attraction towards humans that can only be understood from the standpoint of a nonhuman, with themes of fascination and curiosity. a love for humans beyond human understanding.

[alienthoughts]

Now realising how when I first made this blog I used it mainly to talk (or vent, really) about autism and other disability stuff and then when I started getting involved in kin/alterhuman communities that just took over completely. I just find this a bit funny, but also I feel like I’ve accepted those parts of myself so much more than when I started talking about them. So now I just have fun talking about being an alien instead (and occasionally how much I love my husband). Character development!

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Recently I had a pretty cool dream that also made me remember a previous dream that got me thinking about something. In both these dreams I was in a very beautiful forest like setting, which was 100% my home planet Kurill. Though, I wasn’t in my regular body. In the first one it was slightly more animalistic, in the more recent one it was just. Completely animal (diagram below of notable differences)

I feel like dream 1 was memories of a past version of myself (I come from a line of clones, and I have varying levels of recall on memories from predecessors. This is definitely the first in our lineage) but dream 2 was more like what someone typically means with the phrase past life. Both dreams came with this profound sense of comfort, they were really fun experiences. Maybe I’ll struggle through drawing a landscape to try draw how Kurill looked in these dreams…. It was so beautiful and colourful

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Waiting to go see a movie… little drawing of James just to play around with some brushes…. He hasn’t fronted in forever so hasn’t been posting anything here in a looooong while…

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Hate typing out the same vents over and over and over on here but God I want to go home. I hate it here and I hate being stuck in this life and its not mine and this body isn't mine and it disgusts me and I. Want. To. Go. HOME. Everything is so difficult and I just didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask to be here and I didn't ask to be the host of this awful thing. It's just not fair

[alienthoughts]

New theme, new pfp. Something a little more… moody?

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Kinda funny because at first it felt like a human form, like maybe I was developing it to cope with being seen as human and feel comfortable with that, but nope…. Technically just another alien albeit a different kind. I know the term splitroject is a thing, but I don’t think I have any source memories or anything like that of who this other form is based on. Maybe just weird brain stuff… I kinda feel like this happened before and the other version of myself just phased out and I went back to just my default self again after a while, so maybe this’ll be like that again

[alienthoughts]

Quick doodle to explain more. Realised while making this that it’s not one to one with emotions, but a lot of the time it is

Been feeling very different recently beginning to suspect i fused with someone else/maybe it's a kin thing idk which..... its not bad but it is a little strange.. I still feel like "Weyoun" yknow I feel like myself but as if like.. Myself+, if that makes sense.... and sometimes in headspace I feel physically different/ feel like I should look different... anyone relate? Any advice? Even though it doesn't feel bad or anything, it's a little disorienting

[alienthoughts]

I guess it could be a subsystem thing too, because the more I think about it the more it feels like I'm either version of myself depending on how I feel. I'm gonna draw the 2 different forms to work that out more. It's definitely not a whole separate person/alter because like I said it still feels like myself but just a little to the left. We're the same person, same memories, same lives and all that it literally just feels like sometimes I should have a different form and it feels very connected to emotional state

Been feeling very different recently beginning to suspect i fused with someone else/maybe it's a kin thing idk which..... its not bad but it is a little strange.. I still feel like "Weyoun" yknow I feel like myself but as if like.. Myself+, if that makes sense.... and sometimes in headspace I feel physically different/ feel like I should look different... anyone relate? Any advice? Even though it doesn't feel bad or anything, it's a little disorienting

[alienthoughts]

Been feeling very different recently beginning to suspect i fused with someone else/maybe it's a kin thing idk which..... its not bad but it is a little strange.. I still feel like "Weyoun" yknow I feel like myself but as if like.. Myself+, if that makes sense.... and sometimes in headspace I feel physically different/ feel like I should look different... anyone relate? Any advice? Even though it doesn't feel bad or anything, it's a little disorienting

[alienthoughts]

Vent...

Things have been rough for me the past... well few weeks now and it just makes me desperately wish I was back in my time on some station...or even still Earth! I just want to be back there and in my own body. But with the people I love obviously... I just wouldn't have most of the problems I have now if I was where I'm supposed to be. And I'm never going to be back there. It hurts bad. I'm so tired. I think about it constantly. There's nothing I can do about any of these problems either, so I guess I'm just stuck daydreaming about better things

[alienthoughts]

Genuine question:

How many therian/otherkin/alterhuman artists & writers would be interested in a community zine?

I’m sort of interested in hosting a digital zine project (a multi-artist project where users draw art & its organized into an art book-like format for viewing); but it’d be sort of hard to do without a lot of critter’s & creatures offering art to help out!

This also obviously wouldn’t be done right now, since I’m focusing on a silly ARPG- but it’s something I’m interested in

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Posted this on my main, but it’s wayyyy more me than it is my source… and I’m really proud of it, so it’s going here too

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Ugh, the urge to make trilling noises to express thoughts/emotions is getting increasingly frequent. Ocasionally a little squeak slips out anyways. What do I even do about this lmao

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Why are there so many zionists interacting with my stuff guess it’s my fault for not stating it but yeah not fucking welcome here. You people make me sick don’t come anywhere near this blog

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I love seeing others share information on their species, and really wanted to try my hand at doing it more! I want to make more of these comics over time, would love to hear what others think of it

[alienthoughts]

"oh yeah so i feel like an alien. like I am actually an alien from space."

"oh so you're a starseed?"