alienthoughts - Tumblr blog

[alienthoughts]

Feeling angsty about old memories....

I try not talk about them much here, because well. They're a lot. And I guess I do feel like I shouldn't, I should get over them, they didn't "really" happen. But also I know I'm stuck with them for a reason (and some stuff is just a way for me to rationalise things that did really happen to us but whatever)

They used to cause me a lot of trouble. They're still painful. But sometimes I still miss that old life. I liked the places it took me. I loved the travelling, the interactions with species I'd never met before. I wish it wasn't all connected to.... Them. I wish I wasn't stuck with all these physical and mental issues that remind me so much of all of that. And sometimes it's still disorienting. Living before my own time. I wonder what Kurill Prime is like right now. I wonder if They've gotten to it yet.

Idk why these memories are cropping up so much recently. I've made a lot of progress with healing from them, though. I don't think I realised how far I've come with them until having them crop up again like this and remembering how I used to feel. God, that was like 2 years ago now.....

[alienthoughts]

Hello people of tumblr! I've made a short survey for anyone who identifies as nonhuman to help me with a research project I'm doing for school! Any and all responses are helpful!!

[alienthoughts]

I miss food from my home planet... I wish I could come up with something that would be similar, but I don't think I have access to the ingredients to be able to pull it off.

[alienthoughts]

I have a question that I'd absolutely love to hear others opinions on. As far as I've seen, "spiritual nonhuman/otherkin/etc" generally means someone who's identity is tied to their spirituality (the only example of this I know of is things like past lives or alternate lives, forgive my ignorance here) but are there many others out there who feel like their spiritual/religious beliefs and nonhuman identity are completely disconnected or even a little contradictory?

When I first introjected I was still disconnecting from beliefs I followed in source (if you know... yeah... wasn't very good for me) and currently I am religious and finding myself feeling such a connection to a human/earth religion was a little bit of a strange experience.

Obviously I'd love to hear specifically other aliens that have found themselves in a similar position, but any response is welcomed and appreciated. I suppose the two aren't entirely separate, my memories specifically tied to the fact I am a Vorta could influence the fact I feel a connection to the idea of keeping religious beliefs, but I hope I've explained my point regarding disconnect/contradiction well

[alienthoughts]

Haven’t been active on here at all the past while! I’ve been very fixated on something that’s cooling down now… anyway, I got a haircut recently so new profile picture! I’m so not used to having hair this short… but I don’t hate it

[alienthoughts]

I had a dream a little while ago that's really been sticking in my mind, thought I'd share...

So, for reference I am very humanoid. Apart from my ears, tail, and some extra parts on my body that would generally be covered by clothes or easy to miss, I look a lot like a human. But in this dream.... i was in a very open meadow/forest like setting. I was climbing up a tree. And my body felt... more animalistic I guess? My legs were almost digigrade, my feet felt more like. Adapted for climbing. And I could feel that the padding I have on my hands and feet was now also on the palms and soles. I was also... well.. able to climb. I wasn't in pain, and even in my dreams I can still usually feel my chronic pain. This has me thinking maybe this was like. A past life/a predecessor in my line. Maybe the first Weyoun? Or some ancestor? I woke up feeling oddly comforted

[alienthoughts]

Venting

Weyoun got into a pretty bad argument with a family member. I wish I could do something, but standing up for ourselves isn't a good idea. It'll make things worse. I'm angry. He didn't do anything. I hate seeing prin like this. I never know what to do. Pri doesn't know either. I'm just... here for him. I wish i could do more than that. I wish I could do something and make it clear they don't get to take stuff out on him. But doing anything to make that clear would just get him hurt more. I hope I can make prin feel better

[alienthoughts]

Went out with a close friend last night, something I usually end up feeling awful afterwards... but it was great. I had a lot of fun. It feels like everything is really getting better lately. It's nice. I'm trying to be a lot more positive, and I feel like it's doing a lot for me. I've got enough bad stuff to be dealing with anyway, what's the point in being a pessimist during good things too

[alienthoughts]

Sooo... about it scaring him a little.... we're sleeping with the lights on tonight lol...

Going to the cinema with my best friend tomorrow and I'm so excited... we're seeing longlegs which I've managed to avoid all spoilers for somehow! So excited so excited....

[alienthoughts]

Okay so we just got back from the cinema and the movie was great! I'm writing this because i have more to say.... it was a really fun movie! It scared Weyoun a little, I didn't find it scary but I didn't expect to. I thought it was very interesting though, very creative. I loved the editing and style, the plot was quite cliche, but I don't mind that. They did a lot with it! I really liked the few comedic moments, and I definitely think they were intentional because well. They were done too well to be on accident. Great performances! Really good movie, I think I'd watch it again.

Going to the cinema with my best friend tomorrow and I'm so excited... we're seeing longlegs which I've managed to avoid all spoilers for somehow! So excited so excited....

[alienthoughts]

One part of autism I struggle with a lot is being very.. think the term used is self-minded. I struggle to take interest in other people's lives. It's basically impossible for me to talk about things I'm not interested in without it being very obvious that I have no interest.

And it's a lose/lose situation because this makes people mad and like. If someone says you don't sound interested youre so selfish!!! My only option that doesn't end with me being the bad guy here is lying. But like, no I'm not interested. But if you're my friend I care about you and I care that you want to share these things with me even if they don't interest me. It's not that I want you to shut up, I just... have no stakes in the topic! But nobody would take hearing that well...

Also... like I'm just expected to have that come naturally to me, but other people are not expected at all to have any patience for me if I just want to talk about my special interests and nothing else. Or if I really just can't add to conversation and say nothing. So I'm supposed to listen to other people's personal stuff as much as they want and make sure I make them feel like... interesting I guess. But that doesn't apply to me because I'm not talking about the correct things to earn it? But that doesn't make other people selfish... that's just my issue...

Like I don't want to be rude!! I'd never tell someone what they're talking about is boring or anything. Because like I said before, I care you want to share things with me! But I wish I got the same thing applied to me

[alienthoughts]

Going to the cinema with my best friend tomorrow and I'm so excited... we're seeing longlegs which I've managed to avoid all spoilers for somehow! So excited so excited....

[alienthoughts]

Dating an alien and when our sleep schedules don't align, she stays up late with our apartment lights set to a wavelength I can't see. So it looks dark for me, and I can sleep, but she can still read and walk around.

[alienthoughts]

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately that I feel like I've made a lot of breakthroughs with...

I think I'm fine with being weird. I think I'm fine with people finding me strange or just... different. I've spent so long just wanting to be normal and likable and it just. Well it never worked, and it just made me miserable. I think I'm okay with only having one or two close friends, if they actually like the real version of me. The weird one. And I think I'm fine with everyone else just being unrelatable to me, thinking I'm eccentric and awkward.

Some of these things are the parts of myself that make me the happiest, realising that just. Did a lot for me. I love how I dress and I feel good when I get to be really passionate about my special interests and even if the way I talk and act is awkward and messy a lot of the time I don't hate myself for that. I want to be happy and I want to have fun and I want to feel comfortable!!!

And a lot of this is autism related and that side of things, but also. My neopronouns make me happy, even if I only use them online and with my closest friend and my husband. I love my identity, for the longest time I tried to like. Repress that I was an alien. That I was myself. Because that felt shameful, like I'd embarass people. But that's literally me that's who I am!!!! And I like it and I like being me and my sweetheart loves me and I want to be me!!!!! And for the first time in a long time I can say that confidently.

Even if things are difficult, even if I struggle. Even if my life would be easier if I was different. I want to be me. I like being me

[alienthoughts]

My complicated relationship with alterhuman as a physical nonhuman

A recent poll got me thinking about my complicated relationship with alterhumanity (the label). It does apply in the sense that I am part of a system, and it can be useful for that, but if you asked in a conversation if I was alterhuman then my short answer would be "no". The reasoning is the same as how an animal you see outside wouldn't be alterhuman, it would just be that animal. I don't have an alternative identity experience. I suppose I do in the sense that the dragon experience is different from the human experience, but again, so is the experience of someone's pet cat, and that cat isn't alterhuman.

So I suppose I'm alterhuman by proxy, but I personally don't identify as alterhuman. It feels strange to do so purely because of where I reside. I'm not -hearted/kith/synpath, or have archetypes, or have a hearthome, or otherkin, or therian, or the laundry list of other things commonly referenced under the umbrella. I do consider myself physically nonhuman, which still falls under alterhuman, but now we circle back around to the cat example again. The cat isn't alterhuman, it's just a cat.

At the end of the day it doesn't stop me from sharing about the times I was still a living dragon, many alterhumans have past lives. The same is true about the body experience, since it's common to have phantom limbs as well, the only disconnect being that theirs are "phantom" and mine are not, and it can be difficult to relate in that sense.

This post isn't to find some alternative label, I'm uninterested, I'm just musing about my experience.

[alienthoughts]

Doing a little retheming.... my husband feels comfortable sharing his name on here now and would like to actively post more! You can check out the link to our pronouns.cc account in our intro to learn more about him (and you should, because he's wonderful)

[alienthoughts]

I generally just call myself nonhuman or alterhuman. Although I do interact with alienkin community, it's not a term I apply to myself

I am an introject of Weyoun from star trek, I'm a Vorta!

Not familiar with the term cameo shift, so I can't answer that. But generally I can feel my ears and tail pretty much 24/7. I also still have a lot of mannerisms that are common for Vorta

Like I said above I can feel my actual body and features pretty much all the time. Not being human does make existing exclusively around humans pretty strange at times, but I've always liked them. I wish I actually looked like myself out here, but I've come to terms with it

I think the community is full of some very interesting and kind people/creatures! I do interact with the alienkin community mostly and I love seeing different species experiences

Hm... this is a hard one. It feels great when I can really feel my ears and tail like they're actually there. I've always loved looking out at the stars, so doing that does feel very comforting. I also love music about space/aliens. I think it's very cute that humans wrote so much music about that

Oh yes, though really it's half just. Body dysphoria too. Of course I would feel more comfortable with specially the Vorta parts of myself, but I also really hate not looking like myself at all sometimes. Weird experience

Hm... well we've pretty much always had nonhuman/otherkin/therian system members so my advice based on combined experiences would be have fun. It should bring you joy and make you feel more comfortable in yourself! Species dysphoria is 100% a real experience and very upsetting at times, but you should still enjoy your identity. If it doesn't feel right or doesn't enrich your life at all, you don't need to be it! You can change your types or drop types or pick up new types if they feel right

I'm not really sure what gear would be in my case, but I would absolutely love clothes that feel like mine... which isn't happening, sadly I'm a couple of hundred years too early for those trends in fashion

Because of our developmental disabilities we always felt disconnected from others, I think that's why we split so many non human members or members who later identified as therians or otherkin

I don't have anyone to tag... so if you want to do it, do it!

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈