#and I was like oh nice aromantic reference. wait.

[jumpscaregoose]

fucking hell call of the night

[aro-comics]

Aros In Relationships - Update Post

Oh god, everyone, it’s been SO long. I Just wanted to say (even if the bulk of my life updates soon here), that I’ve missed you all so so much, and I’m so glad I get to finally be able to share my work on these. It’s certainly been a long time coming.

But onto my personal note for this series - I’m really grateful that I’ve had the chance to transcribe their stories. Talking to these people, hearing their stories, their words … I can’t even describe how many times I couldn’t believe what I was hearing/reading, because everything they were saying felt so similar to something I would have said. I almost felt like they were reading out the thoughts and experiences in my own head!!

And I guess that’s why they call it a community – we do have a lot in common! But obviously, our experiences haven’t been identical on the romance front, and it was really nice to get to hear from other aromantic people about what this is like.

Image Descriptions:

Title Card: Cover Image. This Comic series is titled “Aromanticism and Romantic Relationships”. A subtitle underneath says that it is a collaborative sketch comic series. Four people are illustrated on the cover. On the far left is Arrow, a person with an undercut and wavy brown hair. Standing next to them is Lucien, who is wearing a hoodie and a collar with a pentagram charm. They have short brown hair and tan skin. Further to the right is Dot; she has pale skin with light freckles, long slightly curly brown hair in a high ponytail, and a grey hairband. On the very right is May, who has long curly brown hair, tan skin, and is wearing a maroon shirt with a striped dark jacket, and a necklace with a ring on it.

Slide 1: Celia  faces the reader, hand at the back of her neck. “Hey everyone – it’s been an eon (ok, like a year or so). I’ll explain more about where I’ve been on my tumblr, but for this series I thought I’d make an intro for what it’s all about.”

Slide 2: Celia continues,  “A while back, I was asked to make a comic about being in a romantic relationship as an aro person – Which, given the nature of my comics –I can’t really do, because I’ve never dated anyone.”

Slide 3: “Thankfully, some arospec people who had been in romantic relationships reached out – and were really kind in volunteering their time and personal stories to help me record their perspectives.” 

Celia sits at a table, typing away at her laptop while interviewing May. Celia says: “Wait – you too?” in surprise as she realizes she relates to the story May is telling her. They reply: “Yeah! And when…” as they continue their story. 

Slide 4: “And they’ve had *such* incredible patience for me these past two years I chipped away at these comics –” 

A scene from the two years it took to get this comic series out the door. This was during Celia’s completion of her university thesis project. She holds a draft in her hands, reading out to the participant that she calls on her phone, “On page 9, I wasn’t sure exactly what to draw… I could show the progress of what y’all did on the date?” 

They reply: “That works! The sketch is mostly accurate…”

In the background, references to upholstering a bench like padded chair, design sketches, and a poster with a map and circled possible apartment locations is depicted. 

Slides 5-6: The scene switches to a group shot with Celia and the participants. She stands with one hand on her hip and the other outstretched, gesturing to them. 

 “So, without further ado – please welcome May, Arrow, Dot, and Lucien!”

The four are sitting at a table with nameplates set in front of them. Arrow waves a hand at the reader, while Lucien has their arms folded and resting on the table. May and Dot both smile in a friendly manner at the reader. 

Celia continues, “You’ll be hearing from them over the course of this series – which I’ve adapted as long form comics like my “What is Love” comic over on my tumblr.”

Slide 7: “My process for these comics was highly collaborative. I worked together with these people as I wrote the script and drew the storyboard, because I want to be as authentic to their voices as possible. If they read a little different from my usual work – that’s because they are! And I hope you’ll enjoy getting the chance to hear from other Arospec folks' perspectives.”

Slide 7: “I’ll share each person’s comic with their cover page on Tumblr – the whole thing!” The cover page for May’s comic is shown, decorated with doodles of stars. It has the caption: “May – They/Them * Aro Demiace”

“And in parts with a collaborative IG account opened for each person’s comic.”

Also shown is a screenshot of an account named arosinrelationships_may. The description of the account reads: “May’s comics as part of @aro_comics series posted here”

Celia signs off on the note ‘See you soon!’ and a heart.

[breserker]

wow you found sirloin on sale. ez steak on stovetop

don't use a nonstick pan i'll kill you

trust in god of your choice with a metal or cast iron pan

this is for 2 sirloin steaks abt 8oz in size each

need: - 2tblsp of unsalted butter (have more ready if need be) - 2-3 sprigs thyme - 2 pinches rosemary - 2-3 cloves of garlick depending on size - salt and pepper

melt butter in pan. add aromatics. don't cook aromantics p sure thats illegal. while waiting for it to go up to medium high heat (abt 7 out of 9) salt and pepper both sides of steak. lay it in the butter baybee.

**FOR A 1 INCH THICC STEAK ON A STOVETOP ON MED-HIGH: medium rare: 4 mins each side medium: 5 mins each side medium well: 6 mins each side if you're new to cookin steak i wouldn't recommend going under 4mins per side. these are general guidelines and the heat of your stove, your pan, and the size of the steak will change these cooking times. adjust as necessary. remember overcooked is always better than undercooked. if you go for rare and have valleys in the steak that don't get a cooked/singed edge, don't eat that corner. i'm serious! you can eat red meat rare because bacteria cannot penetrate the fibers of the meat unlike the far more porous chicken. but the surface? that's playin dangerous baybee.**

be brave tip the pan a little bit so the butter collects in that side, take a spoon and spoon it over the steaks as they cook. be brave again and realize you didn't need nonstick because when one side cooks enough it will effectively not stick to the pan. (note: enough does not mean done.) flip the steaks. repeat the time on the other side. i use a timer. no shame in it.

ok. steaks done. turn off the heat, transfer the steaks to a plate don't fcking touch them this is called resting. while the steaks are resting like little babies prepare the rest of your meal; pour a drink, pull the potatoes out of the oven or someshit, set the table, etc. minor things! ok for real you're done enjoy.

can omit: rosemary. thyme is the more important aromatic here. if using salted butter salt your actual steaks a little bit less.

overall cooking/kitchen time: 15-20 mins. (i was able to cook both steaks in one pan so note that it may vary if you cook more or can only fit one) i'm srs. ofc i'm just referring to the cooking time of the steak and not any side dish but it is very quick and relatively easy. if ur budget affords it or you see nice steak on sale, the flavor's good i promise. granted that i already have all the other ingredients at home, i found a 2pack of sirloins today for ~$8.70 which is about 4.50 dollar a steak. will this always hold true? no! work with ur budget, u know yourself better than i do <3

oh and the quicker you wash your pan after dinner the easier the caked on stuff is to wash off <3 even if u just have energy to put dish soap and warm water in it, doing it sooner will save elbow grease later k love u

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews: Episodes 5-10 and 5-11: The Scarabella, Kitty Noire, and Butterfly Miraculous Two-Parter!

Honestly, I'm chilling with this. Zoe was relevant for, like, two episodes. I want her to have more character than just being the new holder of the Bee after Chloe was groomed and had a relapse. Also in general I'm tired of all this Marinette focus. Frankly, I think there should be hour-long Miraculous specials focusing on other side characters of the Miracucast. It can be called the [characters] hour and can have a cute title screen like this!

And when we finally get back to Marinette we get:

Anyways, on with the show.

Depression

title theme reference lmao

Aromantic Marinette

Even the 'not there' message is depressed!

She took down all the pics with no Adrien. Now there are only my favorites up there.

I'm still unsure about this. Marinette was only implied to have gotten over her stalking. What if she'll relapse with Adrien dating her?

Oh. They're partying.

Monarch, that's your son.

See? At least you have some standards.

Dramatic Irony but the party makes me want to deteriorate

Oh hey! Zoe's being sane!

Throw the ring once he's out of sight. Throw it.

Evil-ass smile. Guess he doesn't have as many standards as expected

Eh. Close enough.

And now the Kwamis are breaking up with the holders!

Damn, Monarch hit the jackpot!

Freedom

And yet she still cannot admit her love for Adrien.

And now they're planning. Alix died for this.

Oh, so they were going to go with Alya and Nino!

Yes! Sane Zoe!

Ah, that's the ring thrown!

Honestly, Zoe's already ready for this! Girl's smart! I'm starting to really like her!

Acting

Oh boy. They still trust the Alliance rings.

Wait, the second intro's still Alya? Couldn't we get a brand new intro one time like the Parallel Paris Special?

Honestly, I like the dynamic Scarabella and Kitty Noire have! It's bright and they both add in spice.

Foosball with myself

meta

Damn, even Alya's getting tired of this narrative.

Cheese

Chloe jumpscare

Oh hey! Chloe eats ice cream alongside sushi and bananas! Probably rarely!

New headcanon: Zoe has contemplated killing Chloe before. She came to the conclusion she wouldn't be able to get away with it.

Also doesn't Plagg just love stench in general? I know he doesn't like people mistreating owners nice to him but the point still stands.

Oh! Here it comes!

At least he's got style for himself.

Spy TF2

Oh boy. They made Chloe into a goofy Saturday morning cartoon villain.

Does anyone have any good classical allegories for what Marinette is going through? Sisyphus is about fixing a mess that keeps on spawning, maybe Tantalus? Marinette is being pressured to pursue Adrien, but can never reach him. And when she does, the apocalypse happens. Would the apocalypse happen if Tantalus finally grabbed the fruit or drank from the water?

I don't think even Chloe's VA wants to do this anymore.

The horror

Adrien and Marinette nearly got together, and the apocalypse is starting once more. Doomed relationship.

Yes! The battering ram! Countering invisibility! Rose elbow dropping Monarch! Get his ass!

So does the Resistance do anything past this special or was all this for nothing? Also I'm gonna go read a fic where Alya apparently calls out Marinette for stalking Adrien. It sounds good.

[lil228]

Red White and Royal Blue Notes Day 2

WARNING: Spoilers for both the movie and up to chapter 7

if Henry was a woman I would be so very attracted to him

I don’t think this the intent- but maybe it is- back int the day female authors would use literary references to prove that they are well read so they would be taken seriously,  and this book has referred to things as Shakespearean, there is a reference to Byron and discussion of the themes of Great Expectations. It may be that as this is the authors first novel and it is not about a “literary topic’ she is in some way trying to prove herself. 

Oh sweet Alex, you’re like me- probably should have realized you weren’t straight sooner

I like that we get to see Alex’s thought process when he’s questioning his sexuality

Wow the discussion on 112 is really nice to have. I know I was the same way, but if took me time to realize and figure out. It’s also nice that the added pressure on Alex is brought up, because even in the year 2019 (and still in 2023) there are some people that still hate queer people.  

It’s sad that Alex had to consider how his being LGBTQ+ would impact his mother’s and his future political career  

Nora has no time or desire for dates.(116) This leads me to believe that Nora might be aromantic hold up let me do a google search. According to Wikipedia at a book signing McQuistion said that Nora was aromantic, but I can’t find any information to back this up anywhere else so *shrug.*

I love how Nora is  nonchalant about the kiss between Henry and Alex she just like well yea he’s gay and you hot so yea. 

Either Nora’s gaydar is really good, or Alex is broken, or both. Listen I know Nora said she studied patterns to come to her conclusion but like… how, there’s no way I think that it has to- at least in some part- gaydar.

Lol that fact that Nora knew Alex liked Henry before Alex knew. (120)

Wait a minute! When Nora was talking about the NDA earlier the gay thing wasn’t a joke! She knew! (I guess it really depends on whether or not she knew at that time, but I totally think she did.)

    Nora totally ships it

“A diabolical scheme of seduction” (130) Oh my god!

I think Amy definitely knows what’s up and ships it too!

Oh yea Amy totally knows, she totally ships it. (136)

146- Zarah telling Alex are writing fanfic about him and Henry is funny for 2 reason #1 the general public has now knowledge of their non-public interaction as still ship it, so either the fans are really wild or Alex is way worse at hiding his feelings for Henry than her thinks he is. The second is that it’s sort of meta because on A03 alone there are 6,640 works for this book, and most of them are about the two of them, so both in the fictional world and in the real world people are writing fanfic about them

Wait hold up why is Henry competing in a charity polo match in the US? Dose anyone in the US play polo? Huh?

148- This is irrefutable evidence that Amy knows. It’s not evidence that she ships it, but she’s sure as hell not trying to stop them.

Okay why did I end having to read two of the spicy scenes at WORK! I mean sure it was more implied than anything but my god! Why were they so close together? 

152 “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” ALEX! (it was a pretty funny response though. 

Also “First son of you former colony” (152)  had me cackling

Henry calling America “Off brand England” is so damn funny! (152)

  Okay so many of their to and from lines in their emails are so funny!

What is that red mark? Is that me? I am bleeding? Oh sh- I’ll be back (158)

[cepheusgalaxy]

Um i. I also have no idea what it feels like but I can give you this post of an alloro (?) person explaining romantic attraction if it helps?

I also uh. As an aro person personally my experience is: (if it serves as a reference) feeling as if I'd eventually fall in love bc thats what Happens but it just kind of. Never comes. And then I keep waiting, and waiting, and everybody already got their first crushes by now so I realize my time must be soon to. I get tired of waiting and pick a girl I find pretty-looking at school and say that's my crush (well I do notice her more than other strangers and I do like looking at her...she has this nice laugh and green hair. It looks cool) but then it just kind of...vanishes. And I'm like, great! I had a crush. Normal Romance Level achieved. But then they...keep getting crushes. And it looks a bit more intense. And they also tell how they have been having crushes for....years. Like "wait what that didnt happen to me what r u guys doing". And then the realization of: Oh. Wait a second. Um. (looks up aromantic in the wiki after a quiz i did for fun told me im aro)

How the fuck do i figure out if im aromantic or not if I DONT KNOW WHAT ROMANTIC ATTRACTION IS MEANT TO FEEL LIKE OR BE?

[cosplayprincess21]

hdjahsksk reading over the last ask i sent..... hm. i don't think i worded that correctly sorry DHDJSHKJ ANYWAYS yeah i agree with you!! also i was thinking more about my arospec gen headcanon and i thought i'd share (i hope that u like it!!) SO u know how like. gen puts forward the image of being 'the world's most superficial man' and all that? i think him being arospec would fit really well BECAUSE so. like. ok back before petrification he realises he doesn't feel romantic attraction often at all, but he feels it just often ENOUGH that he's like. ah. this must be what everyone else feels like. (when it's definitely definitely not even CLOSE to how most people feel). and because he feels romantic attraction so infrequently, he can't actually see himself in a romantic relationship (and therefore, thinks himself too 'superficial' for one.) (when obviously, that's not the case). and i remember that scene where he talks about wanting a harem of cute girls (which could just have been another ruse bc at this point he hadn't actually decided to stick with senkuu yet) BUT if we take it at face value, that type of 'relationship' is pretty distanced and noncomittal (coughcough, superficial) and i think that may be him speaking from a place of that kind of thing being the closest to 'romance' that he's okay with (and tbh, amatonormativity and heteronormativity influencing him to say even that much). so, long story short, gen's arospec but doesn't have the words for it, so his aromanticism just ends up fueling his persona/self image of superficiality. SENKUU, however, DOES have the words for it, and I think that he would because before petrification he would definitely notice how much of a Thing romance is and how highly it's valued in society, and being a scientist be like. hm. for the results of an experiment or study to be confirmed as true or likely, they must be replicable. so why doesn't my experience match up with the rest of the world? and from there he would investigate why attraction is felt by so many other people and not him (is it a total fabrication? an exaggeration? is it just another way of referring to platonic feelings? .....or maybe... it's.... me?) and then he would research and find the terms and identities, and then settle on aroace bc the description is what matched how he felt). so senkuu is aroace and KNOWS it. then like. fast forward to after petrification, and going along with the headcanon, i think that one of the reasons gen and senkuu get along so well is because senkuu is so uninterested in romance (and ACCEPTS that about himself) and then gen doesn't feel like he has to put on airs around senkuu about it for senkuu to think he's ""normal"" (or whatever. remember he doesn't have the words) one day they actually end up discussing attraction (maybe they got there from like. senkuu mentioning taiju and yuzuriha) and senkuu talks about how he doesn't feel romantic/sexual attraction at all and actually uses the terms 'aroace', 'aromantic' and 'asexual' and gen's like. wait. wait what. and senkuu explains it to him and then gen's like. wait wait WAIT HOLD ON. W H A T. THAT'S AN OPTION??? and. yeah. :]

(fhdkhskdk i hope u liked this??? i saw u say you're a gen kinnie so. i also rlly hope this was like. good/relatable??? uh. have a nice day/night!)

oh i love this!!! yes i can totally see this for Gen, by the way you described it id definitely put him as demiromantic then, which i can completely see. I can see him wanting to form a connection to someone before thinking of them of them as a potential romantic partner, which kind of makes the ships with him even better. Also yes Senku 100% realized he's AroAce before the world turned to stone, hell he exploited Taijus crush on Yuzuriha. We see in canon that Senku heavily rejects anything romantic or sexual and will exploit people who have romantic feelings for someone else, Xeno and Stan anyone? With that being said i can see Senku just mentioning being AroAce randomly and then explaining it to the others and thats when Gen realizes hes more then like demiromantic, feeling romantic attraction for people but only the people hes formed a close relationship with or has gotten to know. Which also makes Senku and Gens friendship even more fun if you think of it as like say Gen gets a crush on someone like Kohaku and Senku exploiting that to his advantage, aka hi they would be the chaotic aroace and demiromantic friends.

All in all i love this headcanon and i want to hear even more headcanons about what characters everyone thinks is on the aromantic and asexual spectrum so go on and send them in, my ask box is always open.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 4

Day 4 - There is a trail of color only you can see that marks out where your soulmate has been.

Pairing(s): Platonic Patmile, Aro Patton, Aro Emile

TWs: None I can think of rn, possibly a warning for Pat questioning his aromantic-ness? If I need to tag anything that I’ve missed, please lemme know!

--

Patton wasn’t sure what to feel even as his own two traitorous feet carried him along the sidewalk in the direction of the sparkling baby pink soulmate trail; he knew he would have one, everyone did. At least, that’s what he was always raised to believe. 

“One day, Pat, one day you’ll meet your soulmate and everything will be wonderful. You’ll fall in love and be happy for the rest of your days!”

Patton loved his nana, bless her, but just remembering her words made his stomach churn more than the nerves he felt watching the trail. He already felt so happy with his best friends;  sure, perhaps a part of him felt a little like the odd one out considering they were all in relationships with their soulmates now, but he didn’t feel like he needed a romantic partner to feel fulfilled. But maybe that just meant he wasn’t truly happy. Maybe.

After all, he had a trail. Heck, he was following it right now! That meant he’d have to face his soulmate. Someone who would be looking for a loving partner who’d shower them with romance. Affection, Patton could do. Heck, platonic kisses and cuddles were practically his second job. Romance, however…. That he just couldn’t seem to grasp. Not that he didn’t know what to do, just the thought made him feel uneasy. The bad kind of uneasy, the kind of uneasy you get when you’re about to hear awful news for the first time, not the excited uneasy when trying something new. 

With an exhausted sigh, Patton tried to remain positive as the trail led to the local high school. Was his soulmate a teacher? A janitor? Maybe a parent stopping by to pick up their kid early? Or were they giving a talk to the students? Either way, Patton checked the time and was thankful that he didn’t have to try and explain to someone that he had to go wandering around the school to find his soulmate. Fifteen minutes wasn’t such a long wait anyway..

… Okay maybe it’s a long wait when your mind is positively racing with anxiety. Patton had been so lost in his own mind, it took a woman - probably a member of staff going by her attire -  talking to him to pull him out of his daze, 

“Sir? The last of the students are leaving, are you still waiting on your child?”

He shook his head, “Ah, no, that’s not it, see, I’m looking for-”

Pat wasn’t able to finish. Just as he looked over her shoulder, he spotted his soulmate, the pink trail glowing behind and around him. Gentle looking, perhaps only a couple of years Patton’s senior, wearing a light brown cardigan over a pink tie and white button up shirt. His pressed black pants would have clashed with his adorable pink sneakers if they didn’t suit him so well. Not to mention the pink streak in his dark hair or the numerous cute badges adorning the cardigan. Oh God this was too soon. Far too soon. As his soulmate pushed up his glasses, Patton became aware of the woman still waiting on an answer.

…… Nope, he can’t do this-

Patton made a small whining noise as he turned and took off down the street. He can’t do this. He can’t face his soulmate. Not like this! Not while he was still a mess!! Not while he wasn’t able to be the partner his soulmate surely deserved. Patton hadn’t even met him formally, but already he knew he didn’t want to let him down, not someone who was so clearly a wonderful person. 

For a moment, Patton began to wonder what was wrong with him. He liked him. His soulmate. That much was clear. One glance and he couldn’t get the sweet expression on his face out of his head, yet he didn’t feel an ounce of any romantic feelings for him. Not one. 

He stopped to catch his breath once he’d hit the nearest bench - he narrowly avoided ramming straight into the damn thing - and tried to work out what to do. Pat knew he couldn’t avoid him forever, of course, after all the trail-

Oh no, the trail-!!

Patton looked behind him just in time to lock eyes with his soulmate while he was tripping over the curb and falling flat on his face in his pursuit. 

“Great, now’s my chance to run.”, Patton thought, but upon noting that the man seemed to be hurt, his conscience wouldn’t let him retreat. Damnit. Swallowing the pit in his stomach, Patton rushed to his aid, 

“Are you alright!?”, Patton asked, offering a hand to help him up.

His soulmate beamed up at him, smiling brightly despite the fact his nose was bleeding from the impact with the ground as he took said hand,

“Yeah! I’m a little banged up but don’t worry about me, are you alright um..?”

“Patton.”

“Patton!”, his soulmate beamed, unaware of how it was breaking Pat’s heart, “I’m Emile Picani, do you how do?”

Patton was surprised to find himself chuckling at Emile’s antics despite his growing anxiety. “Oh jeez, he IS my soulmate..”, Patton caught himself thinking, unsuccessfully hiding his disappointment with himself in his expression. Emile noted the crack in Patton’s happy facade and decided to try and be light-hearted in his approach, “Hm, lemme rephrase my question; eeeeeh what’s up, Pat?”.

It was a terrible Bugs Bunny impression, but it did get a smile out of Patton. Oh boy, he still didn’t want to have this conversation…

“.... How about I bandage you up a little, then we talk?”

Emile agreed and the two sat down on the bench while Patton opened up his satchel and took out his cartoon network print plasters, a sight that had Emile excitedly bouncing his leg. Of all the people to be his soulmate, Patton couldn’t have asked for a better match, if only…

“Are you a father?”, Emile queried, catching Patton off guard.

“Wh-What?”, he stammered in surprise.

“Your bandaids, I thought perhaps you-”

“Oh, no, no!! I don’t have kids, but I work at the local daycare. It’s my day off today.”, he explained. Emile nodded, “I see! I work at the high school-  well, you know that you, found me there, I mean I’m the school’s student councillor. I’m sorry if my assumption upset you, Pat.”

Patton shook his head, “No, no, it’s fine!”, he waved off the concern as he silently got to work with the bandaids. The assumption hadn’t upset him, well, not in the way Emile probably thought; he hadn’t known Emile for a day and yet Patton knew he wanted Emile in his life forever, but… surely his soulmate would be looking for a husband. A lover. Someone to have romantic nights out with and someone who would love him back. But Patton couldn’t do that. He felt a form of love for the man but the idea of them getting married or anything like that just-

He was pulled from his simultaneous daydream and bandaging work as he listened to Emile hum something familiar. At first, Patton couldn’t pin down where he knew it from, however, as Emile hummed more, Patton recognised the faint singing he was doing under his breath;

“When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced..”

“Friends are there to help you.”, Patton sang in continuation, returning the excited grin Emile bore, “Ed, Edd, ‘n’ Eddy, right? I haven’t watched the show in years.”, he admitted.

Emile beamed brightly, “Oh my goodness, really?! Well I have the entire series on DVD! If you want, we can go back to my place and-”

The churning feeling was back. Patton had heard about this song and dance before. What was it his friend Virgil had called it? Netflix and chill? No, that’s the more R-rated song and dance, isn’t it? Either way, Patton’s displeasure must’ve shown on his face as Emile gently placed a hand over Patton’s, 

“What’s got you feeling blue there, my diamond?”

Patton couldn’t help but give an exhausted smile at that. Steven Universe references now. Lord help him, he’s about to break this poor man’s heart. Gathering what little courage he could muster, Patton tried as best he could to explain,

“Emile, you’re wonderful. I just want to make it really crystal clear, ah ha, that it’s not you, it’s me...”, Patton began, noting the way Emile appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood, “But I can’t return your feelings. Not um, not in the love-dovey way, I mean! I really like you, but as a friend?? Gee, I’m sorry, I wish I could love-love you back, but I-! Romance just, I can’t do it and I don’t want to hurt you because you’re so nice, but- ! Ugh! This is so confusing-”

“Oh thank God.”

What. Patton locked eyes with Emile to see genuine relief wash over him, a couple of tears welling up in his eyes as he explained, “I thought I was gonna have to explain me being aromantic to you and hope you weren’t against it-”

“Wait, wait, aro-what?”, Patton asked, perplexed.

Emile took a second, realising what was happening, “Oh, Pat. Um, right, let me explain; I’m aromantic - and genderfluid by the way, I use all pronouns and such but don’t you worry about that right now.”, Emile assured him, continuing, “Being aromantic means you don’t feel any, or very few, romantic feelings for anyone. You might like some things generally considered romantic but enjoy them platonically! Take me for example! I, much like Olaf, like warm hugs! And platonic kisses are a-okay with me too! But if you’re not into that stuff, of course-”

“Oh, no I am!!”, Patton beamed, feeling like a weight had been torn from his shoulders, “I really like physical affection, but I like it from everyone really! I’m just so happy I’m not breaking your heart here..”

“Aw Pat..”, Emile opened his arms wide, giving Patton a look of genuine adoration, “Awkward Soulmate Hug?”

Appreciating the Gravity Falls reference, Patton chuckled, “Awkward Soulmate Hug.”

The hug was far from awkward. If anything it was the best hug Patton had been given all year.

------------ I hope you all enjoy this one!  I wanted to give a little love to platonic soulmates too so here we go!! @tsshipmonth2020

Taglist [just message me to be added!]: @somehow-i-got-an-account  @cateye-glasses

[tokyoghoulaspecs]

Like I said in my last post, I’ve been putting more and more aspecs into my writing lately. This fic in particular is being written extremely scattered, so i have no idea when it’ll be posted, if at all. But I wanted to at least share the aspec bits I have written!

This time, it’s Hide’s segments!

(Word Count: 2200)

(Warnings for a brief scene of romance and lots of internalized aphobia/amisia)

[This takes place shortly after Dragon, while the ghouls are all still staying at the CCG]

“Um, Hide? Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course!”

“So, um, I was thinking about what you said...” Kaneki began.

“Which one?” Hide asked. So much had happened over the past few weeks, Kaneki could have been referring to literally anything.

“A-about... you liking me.”

“Oh.” Hide could feel his face heating up. He’d almost forgotten about his confession.

“And, I think I’d like to try? As long as that’s okay with you?”

Hide lunged and hugged him. “Of course it is!”

Kaneki hummed contentedly and hugged him back.

-

It was 3am, and Hide was awake staring at the ceiling.

He had forgotten the reason why he stopped dating in high school, why all of his relationships ended badly. Something was different about him — about his sexuality. Kaneki had just confessed and they became a couple, and already Hide could feel his feelings changing. Most people would write it off as anxiety, but Hide knew better. He’d felt this feeling before, and he knew what was happening. His romantic feelings were fading.

Hide groaned and ducked his head into his knees. “I was hoping I would be fixed by now.”

He had given up dating after he broke two people’s hearts. Two people that he had loved romantically, and even when his romantic feelings faded he still cared about, but the relationship became too much for him. Too many expectations, too many things he didn’t understand, and he had to end it. After not even a few months, going from passionate to repulsed, he unintentionally broke their hearts. And then they broke his when they screamed at him, accusing him of never loving them in the first place.

He had hoped that taking a long break from dating would fix whatever was wrong with his sexuality. He had loved Kaneki for so many years, with none of it fading, even when Kaneki went missing time and time again. Hide thought it would stay forever. But now that they were in a relationship, it was fading.

“Maybe I can hold on, and it’ll come back.” Hide said, trying to ignore the fact that he said the same thing in his prior relationships, and it had never worked before.

-

“I love you.” Kaneki whispered, nuzzling him before kissing him on the cheek.

Hide pulled away. “I can’t.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

Hide shook his head. “It’s not you. It’s me.” He grimaced. “I know that sounds cliché, but its true.”

“What’s wrong? I can fix it.” Kaneki reached out to take his hand.

“It’s nothing you can fix!” Hide snapped, yanking his hand away.

“Hide…?”

Hide stepped back. “S-sorry!”

“Wait, Hide!”

“I’m so sorry.” Hide ran off.

-

Hide tried to busy himself with CCG work, which Marude was more than happy to provide. It was boring, but gave him time to think, which he really needed. And after a while, he needed someone to talk about it with.

“Hey, Marude-san…” Hide began. “What are your thoughts on queer people?”

Marude laughed.

Hide winced and continued on his work. Maybe they could just pretend he never said anything.

“So you’re saying you’re queer too, huh?” Marude asked. “I guess I shoulda known, the way you talk about that one eyed bastard.”

Hide perked up. “Too?”

“Hm?” Marude looked at him. “Yeah. You’re far from the only queer person I know.”

“Really?”

Marude gave him a look. “Nagachika, you really think everyone is straight, in the entire CCG, all these years I’ve worked here?”

“Well, no, but…” Hide trailed off.

“So what are ya, then?” Marude asked. “I noticed you said queer and not gay.”

“I’m pansexual.”

“Which one is that?”

“It’s kinda like bisexual. Usually people use it to mean more gender-blind, whereas with bisexual there’s usually some internal difference with attraction to each gender. But not all people use it that way.”

Marude hummed and nodded. Hide was glad he accepted it at face value and didn’t try to pick it apart.

“But the past few days, I’m beginning to think I’m something else…”

“What, like you’re just gay or just straight?”

“Not like that.” Hide shook his head. “Like, an additional label.”

“Transgender?” Marude guessed.

“Not trans, but you’re on the right track on how trans is an additional label on a different axis.”

“Then what label are you thinking about adding? I’m at my limit of vocab here!”

“Aromantic.” Hide said, deciding to keep it as simple as possible.

“And that is?”

Here it comes…

“Not experiencing romantic attraction.”

There was silence. Hide braced himself.

“Romantic?” Marude asked. “So, wait. Separate from sexual stuff?”

“For me, yeah. But some other aros don’t experience sexual attraction either.”

Marude hummed. He seemed to accept it, but Hide couldn’t tell what he was thinking beyond that.

“So what’s the issue?” Marude asked.

“I can’t love.” Hide whispered. “And that’s scary.”

“Eh, love’s overrated.” Marude waved him off.

Hide sighed. He was glad Marude was being so accepting, and it was really nice to hear someone not put romance on a pedestal for once, but at the same time Hide wanted some validation for his fears.

“For so long now I’ve prided myself on being loving. And now knowing that I can’t… What am I now?”

“So was everything fake?”

“No. Yes? It’s complicated.” Hide groaned.

“Look, kid. You feel how you feel. You can’t force it or change it. And that goes for everything, not just sexualities.”

“I know.”

“You’re a sweet kid. It’s overbearing to me, but I appreciate that in a world so cruel, people like you exist. And from what I’ve seen, the care you show isn’t fake.”

“The non-romantic love? That’s not fake. But the romance? The crushes and flirting? It’s not fake but… it disappears. Way sooner than it should.”

“Disappears?”

“I think I’m, like, a subset of aromantic? I get crushes but they fade after I’m in a relationship. Way sooner than it should. I’ve been in love with Kaneki for years, but now that we’re a couple, that romantic attraction is gone.”

“That’s certainly a dilemma.”

Hide scoffed. That was an understatement.

“So what do you wanna do about it?” Marude asked.

“Huh?”

“Break up, or keep it up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then just talk to him.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t give you any advice on the romance aspect, but you two have been through things much worse than relationship drama. Just talk to the guy. Can’t be any scarier than what you’ve gone through.”

“I’d beg to differ.” Hide muttered.

Marude rolled his eyes. “Even I know he’s not gonna get pissed and eat you.”

“Of course not! That’s not what I’m afraid of!”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

“I don’t want to hurt him.” Hide whispered. “Or make him think I hate him.”

“Just communicate with him. You can’t work it out all alone. You both need to work together, or else how do you even expect your relationship to work?”

Hide sighed. “...I guess you’re right.”

-

Akira huffed as she sat down next to him. “How do people deal with it?”

Hide gave her a look. “Deal with what?”

“Crushes!” Akira said, as if it was obvious. “They’re so distracting.”

Hide chuckled. They certainly were.

“I thought one was bad enough, but now I have two! Ugh!”

“Oof. That’s rough. I’ve been there.”

“Hey, you’re allo-romantic, right? How do you deal with crushes?”

“Huh? Allo-romantic?” Hide asked. He thought he was pretty well-versed in sexuality terms, but he hadn’t heard that one before.

“It means people who aren’t on the aromantic spectrum.”

“You’re aromantic?” Hide asked. He had known she was asexual for years, but he never knew what her romantic orientation was.

“Demi-romantic.” Akira explained with a nod. “Got my first crush at 20 on a friend, and now a double-whammy of crushes #2 and #3 at 25.”

“Huh.” Hide whispered. He was 22, and it was pretty incredible to imagine only having a single crush in that much time.

Akira-san is aromantic…

“Do you know a lot about aromantic terminology?” Hide decided to ask.

“I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, but I have been researching it these past few weeks. Why? What do you want to know?”

“I’ve been wondering if I fall somewhere on there…” Hide said.

“Really?”

“I’ve actually been wondering since high school, but its come back full force now.”

“What makes you think you are?”

“I get a regular amount of crushes, I think. But they, like… fade…?”

Akira hummed in understanding and nodded. “I do recall seeing a few terms like that.”

Hide’s eyes widened. “Really? More than one? Like what?”

“Um, off the top of my head I remember Aroflux, that fluctuates. Hold on.” She pulled out her phone and typed into it.

“Maybe, but that’s a bit vague…” Hide said.

“I know Grey-romantic can be used as an umbrella term.” Akira added. “Ah, here we go! Fray-romantic means you’re only romantically attracted to strangers, and it fades as you get to know them!”

“That’s close, but it’s not that quick. Well, maybe I can use it anyway.” He knew that a lot of queer terms had a lot of grey area to them.

“Oh, and there’s also Lithromantic, that fades at reciprocation!”

“Reciprocation...?” Hide asked, his eyes widening. “That’s… That’s it…”

“Ha, really? That’s awesome!”

“I got crushes and tried to date them, but once I was in a relationship my feelings would disappear. I tried to push on and fake it, but it didn’t work out and we had to break up. Eventually I just gave up dating entirely.”

Hide sighed and held his head in his hands.

Akira frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Kaneki.”

“Kaneki?”

“We just confessed to each other and started officially dating, and I can already feel it fading.”

Akira frowned, not sure what to say.

Hide laid down. “Who’d want to date me? A person who can’t love them back.”

Akira scoffed, laying back to join him. “What about me, huh? Someone who takes forever to like you back, and even then isn’t capable of sexual attraction.”

“You like Amon-san and Takizawa-san, right?” Hide guessed.

“Yeah. So what?”

Hide turned on his side to face her. “Well, Amon-san doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to care about that. And I don’t think Takizawa-san does either. If they really love you, then I’m sure they’d be willing to find a way to meet in the middle.”

Akira sighed, considering his words. Then she gave some of her own, “You know, you and Kaneki are really close. We can all tell. And I know Kaneki, too, and how he is. I’m sure he’d accept your aromanticism. Maybe you could even be in a non-romantic relationship with him.”

Hide blinked. Akira chewed her lip. They were both silent, thinking on each other’s words.

“You really think someone would be okay having a relationship without sex?” Akira asked.

“Of course.” Hide replied. “Do you really think someone would be okay with having a committed relationship that’s not romantic?”

“Of course.” Akira replied.

-

As he talked, Hide walked around the room, taking in the tiniest of details. And then he came across small pride pins, clipped to her bag laid in the corner.

“Is that what I think it is?!” Hide cried out.

“Huh? What is what you think it is?” Kimi asked, turning around.

“That!” Hide pointed to the pin that had gradients of greens and blacks. “Is that an aromantic pin?”

Kimi’s eyes widened. No one had ever recognized it before. Hardly anyone even recognized her bisexual one. “Yeah. I’m aromantic.”

“Wow.” Hide muttered. “And I know the bi one, but… what’s this other one?” He pointed to the one on the other side of the aromantic pin, the one with stripes making a gradient from pink to green.

“It’s aroflux.” Kimi said. “I fall in the grey area of the aromantic spectrum.”

Hide untensed his shoulders. “You know… I think I do, too.”

“Really?”

“I’m Lith-romantic, I’m pretty sure.”

“Neat! It’s always exciting to meet more aromantics!”

“You know others?”

“Nishiki-kun is arospec too. And I’ve helped a few other people question.”

“Nishio-senpai is too?! You’re in a relationship with another aromantic?! That’s amazing!”

“Tell me about it! It was just a coincidence! He didn’t know he was aromantic before I told him about aromanticism! Although, in hindsight I guess it explains why we fit so well together. We both have very complicated feelings on romance, that our previous partners never were able to grasp.”

Hide felt warm and happy, a sense of comfort and kinship coming over him. He often had a lot of internalized dislike of his aromanticism, but it was really nice to talk to someone who was similar — someone else who was on the aromantic spectrum.

Whenever he talked to other people — other allo-romantics, was the term Akira had used — they never grasped what he was trying to explain and always blew it off. As much as he liked people and socialized, he always felt a heavy disconnect from them.

And it suddenly dawned on him. He knew three arospecs so far, and Kimi had implied more.

[itashiro-hitsuchiha]

Ship bias for Saber Artoria, Saber Mordred and Erza Scarlet

Send ‘Ship Bias’ and I will share up to 5 Ships I have a bias for for my muse!

@lemusegallery

Alright this may be a long post but I'll gladly do it. For you see simply listing the ships I have for them is too easy and boring. So instead I'll be giving reasons behind the ships and why I typically have a bias towards them. Also the ships I list may not all be romantic ships. I will list the type of ship I am referring to with each muse. Mostly because with these muses in particular I do not have that many romantic ships with them. Also putting a read more into this cuz of how long it may be and I don't want to clog up the whole dash.

Alright I'll just start with Mordred since she has the weirdest line up imo.

Mordred x Fran (BrOTP) - I just fucking love Mordred and Fran being in unison when it comes to kicking ass. That gif of them fist bumping just makes me excited every time. So naturally when writing Mordred if I can get my Fran up in the thread those two will act as pretty decent friends after awhile depending on the thread of course.

Mordred x Artoria (Notice me Senpai) - From all that I gather from playing FGO Mordred has a strange relationship with Artoria. Although if the two were in their normal minds and they are summoned together then things can get interesting as while Mordred may be somewhat hostile at first, they can actually talk and get some closure as after the events of Apocrypha Mordred has come to understand Artoria's position a little better so she won't be as bitter towards her. If anything it was fun in the first summer event to watch Mordred essentially try to get Artoria to notice her and get her praise only to get one-uped each time. They can have a nice wholesome, yet disfunctional dynamic at times and I'd like to see if I can explore that a bit more.

Mordred x Shirou Emiya (???)- I am not sure how to describe this ship. It wouldn't be romantic per say, but I do feel like these two could have an interesting relationship develop. Mordred can appreciate Shirou's determination and stubborness as it mirrors her own, but also with his relationship with Saber it could form a good bridge between them. Idk. I just like to see how this sort of ship could go.

I don't really have any more than that for Mordred as I don't see her as a romantic type. Being a homunculus she doesn't live a very long life regardless so her time is usually short unless summoned as a servant and then she could theoretically live as long as her master, like in Chaldea. Though some crossover potential does exist that I love, but I won't discuss that here. To add to that she has shown no real interest in romance that I can derive from what I've seen of her, so therefore my Mordred can be classified as mostly aromantic and possibly asexual. She knows of sex, but she doesn't have an interest in it as that sort of thing was not taken into account in her creation process and with how she was raised she REALLY had no room to consider it or even want it. It's not impossible to get her to do it, but it is very challenging and will require a LOT of effort.

Now for Artoria.

Artoria x Shirou (OTP)- needless to say I watched the first Stay Night as my introduction to the series. Even into UBW I thoroughly love this ship the most with her. The two just click on so many levels and their dynamic is amazing. Plus Shirou loves to cook and Saber loves to eat (as she kinda needs to eat a lot). Idk if there's anything else I can say about this ship that hasn't already been said, but yeah its my favorite one.

Artoria x Rin (BrOTP)- Seeing how Rin originally wanted a Saber class servant and how she was a friend of Shirou these two can be pretty fun together as well. Rin helps the two get out of their shells and explore the more fun side of life and what it has to offer. I think they're cute as a Bro sort of duo.

Artoria x Mordred- See ship above

Artoria x Lancelot (???)- I mostly like to see how things can go if they can have closure after the events of Zero and actually sit down and talk. (Saber needs to do that with a lot of people).

Much like Mordred Artoria never really had much time to consider romance, but interacting with Shirou definitely helps her grow out of her shell so she can at least consider it. When trying to ship romance with her, if you're not Shirou then you may have a tough time, but really you just need to earn her respect to spend more time with her and perhaps she'll grow on you and give you a chance. Much easier than how Mordred is.

Lastly Erza, Who is admittedly easier to ship with than the other two swordswomen.

Erza x Natsu (BrOTP, or possible OTP)- Erza and Natsu have this fun relationship dynamic. She almost acts like an older sister to him (as well as most of team Natsu) and she definitely has no problem telling him off when he really needs to get punched. Though I can also see them growing romantically (Fight me!) and I would like to see how that would actually go. (Plus the hentai of the two is top notch)

Erza x Jellal (Duh!)- I like the history that those two have together and seeing how they make each other flustered just by talking and feeling awkward its just great. While yes he has hurt her in the past (very badly I might add) Jellal doesn't try to pursue a romance with her because of that fact and he doesn't want to hurt her again, which I believe she is aware of it and fully understands and doesn't want to force him to try anyways. If he feels like he can safely pursue something with her she will be there waiting for him and happily accept him.

Erza x Mira (BrOTP)- Oh my god! these two are just great when they get the chance to sit and talk with each other. Their history allows Mira to talk to Erza about things that no one else could get out of the great Titania. Not to mention all the teasing Mira can do to her and get away with it unlike if Natsu or Gray tried it. Anytime these two get together for girl talk its just great.

Erza x Kaza (OTP)- I know its kind of cheating to list my muse with another of my muses, but hear me out. You see Kaza was someone I once had as a character several years ago, but then dropped for a long time and focused on Vorona for years of development that Kaza did not get. He was my first OC and I wanted to bring him back. Originally he was made for the Naruto universe, but when bringing him back I figured I'd change him up a bit. So I tinkered and decided to make him a Fairy Tail magic swordsman from Edolas who stayed in Earthland. So after making that I realized he may be best suited to be shipped with Erza or Kagura as they are the main swordswomen in the Fairy Tail universe. Her bluntness and occasional lewd minded thought process (really if you look at some of the things she says its pretty funny how thirsty this girl can be, also seduction armor....need I say more?) could pair well with Kaza's shyness towards the subject. I just think these two can be pretty funny and cute together as well.

While it may take me time to get used to it. Shipping with Erza can be pretty easy so long as you keep in mind that she does have a tendency to react violently if the wrong things are said. Easiest way to start shipping with her, be a member of Fairy Tail and/or be a swordsman of some sort. From there it's just a matter of how well the chemistry can be.

Alright. Hope this is sufficient with the meme and that you enjoyed reading this. :)

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Moriarty 5 - 7 | HypMic 10 - 11

Moriarty 5

Saito’s Moriarty and Gentaro voices are quite similar, now that I compare them.

“…he’s a good egg at heart.” – LOL, never thought I’d be reading subtitles that said that.

Oh, so that was Frida on the bridge?

I wonder, is Moriarty like Bon and nursing a weak leg with that cane? Or is the cane just a symbol of nobility?

Moriarty 6

The Titanic? Wasn’t there a Black Butler arc based on it?

LOL, these people in the foreground are CGI.

…is that the grapefruit guy? (Beats me, I haven’t watched this in weeks and am only returning to it because Scott keeps mentioning spoilers. The only thing I’m keeping up with properly is HypMic and my Kanon watch with #AniTwitWatches…and soon I’ll add the final episodes of Sailor Moon to it.)

Found him! Sherlock Holmes! I sort of triangulated from buzz around me that he appears in this episode.

What’s with the skull ring Holmes wears?

…ah, the golden ratio!

…Oh, this is gonna get interesting! You can tell this Holmes is adept in fighting due to his build, but…how did Moriarty figure out Holmes played the violin? Calluses on his hands?

Is this Holmes a womaniser…? I thought the guy was often characterised as an asexual, or at the very least aromantic. That’s part of what makes the guy so intriguing to me - because he still has Irene.

A colliery is a coal mine. It’s been a while since I heard that word.

Moriarty 7

The anime’s sense of colour is probably one of the most striking parts of this. Not just red, but blue and green where it counts too.

Not a fan of the 1st person cam…

That knife came out pretty clean for something so blood-stained.

I wanted to say “’Right,’ said Fred”…but Fred didn’t talk, so I can’t do that. (Dangit!)

I somehow found it slightly funny that France was ahead of Britain (America?) in forensic pathology, although I dunno what made it funny exactly.

I squealed (…just a little bit) when the iconic quote came up: “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” I have it memorised from my Detective Conan days still, see?

Next time: A Study in S (according to stuff I read, the S stands for Sherlock this time).

HypMic 10

…I can’t believe it’s almost over already. I’ve basically been in a dream this entire season…but then what happens once the anime is over…? Waiting for the 2nd DRB to happen, I guess.

I didn’t even realise, but Jiro’s varsity jacket has an owl on the bottom of the logo.

…”[H]it the head”? Wassat mean? *checks up* Oh, so it means to go to the bathroom…Right. It’s US slang, which might explain a thing.

Notice Ramuda uses “Jakurai” and not “jijii” or something like that during his time with Ichijiku. Also, there’s a lot of his deep voice going around…

You can see MTR on the poster behind Ramuda at one point.

*anguished noises* Ramuda!!! Please don’t do this!!!

LOL, Sadamezuka and Kazuha.

Is “bum-rush” even an appropriate word for this situation…? US slang is weird…

…Doppo’s performance almost seems like a Rosho foreshadowing. Also, I love how Doppo’s screens disappear with his motivation.

…I saw a spoiler today on Twitter regarding Dice and meat…now I get it.

“detarame” – I know this word means “nonsense”, but for some reason I memorised it as meaning “s***” at one point due to the context of Scenario Liar. I find it interesting Hifumi used a word from Scenario Liar in the first place, even though it’s not necessarily meant to be taken in that context.

“the King of Normies” – For some reason, that made me laugh pretty hard. That is an accurate translation of “riajyuu no ousama” though.

Gentaro’s smile puts a smile on my face as well.

“colours you’ve dyed” – Note Shibuya is constantly referred to by colours, including how PCCS (in the Shibuya 1st DRB team song) apparently means “practical colour coordinate system”.

I find it interesting that Saburo was the one who mentioned holding hands as a sign of camaraderie first in the anime and then the Funi translation makes Ramuda use the same symbolism here. It may have been unintentional, though.

…the subbers keep using “OMG” and I’m like ????. Is OMG outdated slang in 2020?

…wow, that holy imagery…they really went all-in on Jakurai’s godliness there.

…even when knocked down, Jakurai’s hair is still 100% gorgeous.

I noticed one of the lyrics the translators cut out of Doppo’s rap was “borderline”.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! This anime just kicked me where it hurts! (<- As in, it used the trope I love so much – where the underdog causes a sudden turn-around in the battle and they’re not even aware of it!) This is why I love you, Doppo!

LOL, FP spent their countdown gossiping. That’s such a FP thing to do.

Hifumi seems to carry the beat in MTR’s Kizuna. Jakurai gets drowned out quite a bit, although Riou (who has a similar voice) was less drowned out.

“No pain, no gain.” – That’s a good saying.

HypMic 11

2 episodes until the end! (Yikes!)

I still take some issue with subbing the laughing. Well, then again I’ve been half-deaf lately with my ears being clogged (accidentally clogged my ear up again…), so I guess I shouldn’t complain.

If I’m hearing it right, Ramuda goes “nee-san” and not particularly anything to do with “Beauties” or “Beasts”, which seems to be exclusive to the subs.

Stone guardian? I guess this has to do with jizo in Japanese. Hifumi does go “namu” (short for “namu amida butsu”) towards Doppo at the end there.

That bed is…why is it so empty if it’s meant to be the room someone’s staying in?

Is Jyuto’s hair black or brown? I’ve been colouring it a deep brown because I think that looks nice, but it might actually be black…

I have a newfound respect for Komada ever since I found out his birthday is [secret censored – maybe if you follow the hints I leave behind, you might find out what I mean].

LOL, I spotted the fire extinguisher in one corner and was immediately reminded of how someone once translated “fire extinguisher” to “hand grenade”.

…how does Jakurai’s hair work from the back? There’s this coil of hair that seems to go places it shouldn’t be…

For some reason, the subbers keep translating “sensei” as “the good doctor”…or is that the first and only time it happened?

I think it’s appropriate they discuss bonds on the day Kizuna (the ED) goes out on streaming.

…*thinks about 2nd DRB, where BB vs. DH is going to happen next month* …Yeah, you better pay attention or your daddy’s gonna come spank you boys.

Jakurai summoning his mic is always freakin’ cool. Aspire to be like this elegant man.

The wolf hand sign again.

There’s a pun between kizukizu (wounds) and kizuna (bonds). Update: The phrase is actually gisugisusa (stiffness, unsociability, coldness [of atmosphere] etc.), but...there’s the same rhyming scheme, so it’s not wrong.

Doppo’s bit about Jakurai(-sensei) being a kasugai (hemostat) is, surprisingly, quite faithful, as you can tell from how those words rhyme. Hifumi’s verse mentions a monkey wrench, though.

…kasumitai ore ga yoi… - that translates to “…[Jakurai is] better than us, who are like scum…” It’s a very Doppo sort of line, noting that kasu literally means “residue”.

I didn’t realise this until now, but Riou has a piercing in one ear (his right). It’s just in an unconventional place in the upper curve, so I never spotted it.

Samatoki’s death aesthetic really contrasts against Jakurai’s healing one. I can see why people really liked the MTC vs. MTR fight now.

It seems the strategy to win in this series is to keep spamming your attacks. It seems hugely suitable for my pseudo-Pokemon AU, which emphasises attack over defence.

Oh! I never noticed the blue gem on Jakurai’s mic!

Note how Samatoki said “lightning rod” – Jakurai’s name means “lonely thunder”. It’s one reason why I fell head over heels for the guy – his stupidly awesome name.

“horse/rabbit/bush warbler” – These refer to MTC. Samatoki, Jyuto, Riou. On that note, ARB currently has an event where Ramuda hangs out with MTC and he calls Jyuto “usa-chan” as a pun. I find that so darn cute!

“And the winner is…Matenro!” - *cue the song, The Champion*

Notice how they put BB and FP before MTC and MTR in the ED…it’s foreshadowing!

[elyreywrites]

do you know who you are?

a fic written for Pride Month 2020!! (yes, i know pride month is over, but i posted this on AO3 on June 30th so.) this is a projection fic. it’s not an exact projection of my experience, nor is it meant to be a generalized representation. this isn’t everyone’s experience.

warnings: slight mention of Jack and Janet Drake potentially being homophobic, and discussion of compulsory heterosexuality

thank you to my betas in the Capes & Coffee Discord - Bumpkin, ZulieTheProgrammer, and Oceans!!

title is from Moana’s “I am Moana”!

please REBLOG - DO NOT REPOST

AO3 Link

Teen 1,678 words Bart Allen & Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent slight one-sided Tim Drake/Jason Todd - as in, tiny-Tim has a crush on Robin-Jason

Summary:

He’s twelve and watching Robin fight. He’s seventeen and staring up at the ceiling. He’s nineteen and text-spamming his best friends.

Tim’s growing up and finding himself, and he would really appreciate if the Realizations didn’t happen when he’s trying to sleep. Kon and Bart would probably appreciate that as well.

- - - - -

It starts as he’s watching the second Robin knock out some muggers. It’s not the first time Tim has seen Jason’s Robin take down a group of criminals, but it’s the first time that he nearly gives himself away as he squeaks.

 Jason’s so strong, and cool, and pretty, and – oh. Ah. Okay.

He calls it a night at that, bright red from the questions that are swimming around in his head. He spends most of the trip home lost in thought. When he’s sitting on his bed, one of his best pictures of Jason’s Robin sitting in front of him, he gives them a voice. Talking usually helps him get his thoughts in order. “Okay,” he whispers, “do I like boys?” He doesn’t dislike them – not at all. But does he like them? Maybe, but… how is he supposed to know? “Is that too big of a topic?” he wonders aloud to the picture. “Let’s start with this: Do I like Robin? Jason-Robin.”

That doesn’t turn his brain into a jumbled mess like the previous question did. Of course he likes Jason-Robin. He’s absolutely amazing, protecting people and checking on the working girls and kicking criminal ass! He’s only a couple years older than Tim is, but he does so much more! And he’s real in a way Dick isn’t.

Jason’s just a kid like Tim, though they have such different backgrounds. Dick was a trained acrobat, with skills Tim never really believed he could learn. Jason seemed closer. He was still more amazing than Tim could ever hope to be, but it wasn’t an entirely impossible stretch like it was with Dick.

“And he’s so passionate, especially when it’s a kid that’s in danger. And every time he smiles, it just makes me so happy that I kind of want to giggle and—” Tim stops babbling. He doesn’t need to anymore, after basically answering his own question. Yes, he does like Jason Todd, the current Robin. As in, he has a crush on him. Tim falls back on his bed to stare up at the ceiling.

“Well,” he says, “that explains the weird, squirmy feeling I get in my stomach every time I imagine talking to him.” That feeling is always accompanied by a fierce blush and Tim hiding his face for a good two minutes. He thinks he probably should have caught on sooner. Deciding that was enough Realizing Things for the night, Tim quickly locks the picture of Robin up with the rest and collapses on his bed to sleep.

The next day – a Saturday, which is Mrs. Mac’s day off – Tim hops on the computer and starts researching. He has a crush on one boy, but Tim still thinks girls can be cool. Batgirl is pretty awesome, after all! After a few hours and a lot of new information, he settles back on his bed again. He’s bisexual, and sexuality can apparently be really fluid. In all honesty, it didn’t take him hours to find the term, he just fell into a rabbit hole of researching sexual orientation and gender identities. Tim’s fairly secure in his gender, but he’s glad to have learned. It’s something to keep in mind about other people – to not assume anything based on appearances.

He’s bisexual, with a crush on a boy, and his parents will still expect him to only date girls. At least the boy was Robin and completely unattainable.

- - -

Years later, Tim is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling once again. It’s a different bed by now, in his own apartment at seventeen. The thing is, he’s pretty sure he has no interest in romance. And now his brain was mixing everything up in a tangle of thoughts and feelings again.

“Holding hands is nice,” he admits. “I like cuddling. That was fine.” He hasn’t gone further than making out with anyone, so that’s about the limit of his physical experience. It’s the implication of emotions that makes him want to skitter away. Specifically, emotions of the romantic variety. Now Tim’s reassessing every romantic relationship he’s had, though he’s only ever dated women.

At the time, he had thought he was happy while in each relationship, but… it’s becoming much more likely that it’s because he was previously starved for affection. He suddenly got that affection while dating someone. That thought makes him want to hide from everyone he’s ever dated. Stephanie is the only one he really still has to see, and that has him burrowing under his blankets.

It sounds awful, honestly. Like he was using the relationship to get the affection he so desperately wanted. Logically, he might be overthinking this. He just wishes his dumb brain would tell that to his anxiety and the ingrained societal expectations. “I didn’t mean to,” he mumbled into the blankets.

Romance, dating, being happy in a relationship? He has no other experiences to reference! He didn’t know that something wasn’t right.

Hell, he’s only having this Realization because a woman was flirting with him at a gala and asked if he would like to get dinner together sometime. A romantic dinner date with a woman he wasn’t close to. The entire scenario would be romance with no physical affection, and that didn’t sound pleasant in the slightest. It did, however, make him realize that he might need to think things through again.

So, here he is. Thinking things through. No romance – if he’s remembering his research correctly, the term is ‘aromantic’, similar to ‘asexual’. Asexuality was something he’d heard more about over the years, but he rarely heard of aromanticism. It had just stuck out because while the terms were similar, their meanings were pretty different.

Now he’s glad it stuck in his mind. It gives him less reason to panic about being confused. So, he was bisexual and aromantic. That’s fine! He’s a vigilante, romantic relationships would be difficult anyway.

- - -

A year and a half later, Tim’s fingers fly across the screen of his phone, sending text after text without waiting for a response. Either his friends would wake up or they wouldn’t. Hopefully they would.

Tim: Oh my god. Guys, wake up, I’m an idiot. Bart, Kon, please. I’m so dumb. How the hell am I this oblivious? I’m not bi-aro at all. I’m just fucking gay. It’s 5 am and I can’t sleep, and I just want a boyfriend. I want to do couple things, like cuddle up while watching movies.

Clone Trooper: dude, it’s the middle of the night. why do you do this to us?

Tim feels no sympathy for his friends – he’s been running on less than six hours of sleep for years. Sometimes less than four hours. High school and vigilantism don’t mix well. Anyway, they can deal with waking up to deal with his Realization.

Sonic: bro we cuddle up when we watch movies are we not good enough for you anymore

Tim: Yeah, but that’s platonic, Bart. And yes, I’m aware of the time. I’d like to be asleep too, but I’m lonely and sad and having Realizations! Suffer with me.

Clone Trooper: … suffer how? are you expecting us to have an existential crisis too, or is this just suffering by being awake?

Tim: Being awake. It’s not an existential crisis, it’s just a Realization.

Sonic: its the middle of the night i think it can be deemed an existential crisis

Tim: But seriously, someone please tell me how I jumped passed the logical conclusion I should have come to of “I’m just not attracted to women” and directly to “I have no interest in romance at all”? How did that make sense to me?

Sonic: society conditioned u to like women

Tim blinks at his screen. Bart isn’t wrong, but Tim has absolutely no idea where he’s going with that. He already had the Realization about societal conditioning, thanks.

Tim: Okay? I’m aware, but I’m not sure how that translates to how I didn’t think of the logical conclusion.

Sonic: dude. for years it was a fact – since you were a kid u were so conditioned that u should like women it was just a fact

Clone Trooper: think of it like this, tim: as far as you knew, you liked women. later, you figured out you like guys, but you still think you like women too.

Tim: We’ve established, yeah.

Clone Trooper: so, suddenly something is weird. the only really new thing is that there is romance involved. so that’s clearly gotta be the issue.

Oh. He stares so long the screen goes dark. He drops his phone on the bed and stares up at the ceiling, turning that over in his head. So. He jumped to not wanting romance because it was so deeply ingrained that he was supposed to like women? His exhausted brain seems to accept this explanation enough to calm the edge of self-recriminations.

Tim: That. Makes sense, I guess. But still, it really seems like I should’ve realized a while ago. Also, I’m kind of surprised that you aren’t teasing me for being oblivious.

Sonic: oh thats coming but teasing is saved for when u arent having a crisis

Clone Trooper: later, we’ll absolutely laugh about that jump in logic. but right now it’s too early and you’re already having A Time.

He’s not sure if he has wonderful friends or terrible friends. Tim suspects that he’s still going to hear about this in a few years. It’s the kind of thing they won’t let die for a while.

Tim: Fair enough.

Clone Trooper: great, glad we got that cleared up! now tim...

Tim: What?

Clone Trooper: please. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Snickering, Tim plugs his phone in and smothers his face in the pillow. He’s still lonely and he still wants to analyze every missed evidence over the years, but he’s also exhausted. The chat with his friends did get his brain to shut up enough that he might actually be able to sleep. He can rethink his entire life again after he wakes up.

[spaceytingz]

1 year of my last.fm!

A year ago, on 20th of May 2019, I learned of last.fm from some peeps at a Carly Rae Jepsen Discord I joined because she had released her new album a few days ago and I wanted to discuss it with other fans. I’m a bit of a stats nerd, so it was really exciting seeing, like, analytics of the music I was listening to during the past year, and, now that I’ve hit the first important milestone, I’m doing this post so I can compile my observations!

Content:

General Stats

Month Recaps

Some observations

General Stats:

Total scrobbles (listens) :  33302 (Assuming an average 3 minute song length, this is 1665 hours, which is 69 days of music (nice). However, if we give 8 hours for sleep every day, that’s 104 days of music and sleep, which conveniently matches the duration of a summer vacation. Nice. This is 91 songs a day, AKA around 4.5 hours of music a day.)

Top 15 artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen - 6469 scrobbles (One fifth of all songs listened, around 323.45 total hours, which means around 53 minutes a day)

Ke$ha -  2150 scrobbles (around 107.5 total hours, which means around 17 minutes a day)

Marina & The Diamonds (I am gonna be referring to her as that because we don’t claim L+F) -  1741 scrobbles (around 87 total hours, which means around 14.5 minutes a day)

Taylor Swift - 1620 scrobbles (around 81 total hours, which means around 13.35 minutes a day)

P!nk - 1218 scrobbles (around 61 total hours, which means around 10 minutes a day)

Lorde - 968 scrobbles (around 48.5 total hours, which means around 8 minutes a day)

Tessa Violet - 697 scrobbles (around 35 total hours, which means around 6 minutes a day)

Tove Lo - 692 scrobbles (around 34.5 total hours, which means around 6 minutes 5.8 day)

Britney Spears - 684 scrobbles (around 34.2 total hours, which means around 5.6 minutes a day)

Halsey - 646 scrobbles (around 32 total hours, which means around 5.3 minutes a day)

Charli XCX - 588 scrobbles (around 29.5 total hours, which means around 4.8 minutes a day)

Kim Petras - 577 scrobbles (around 29 total hours, which means around 4.7 minutes a day)

Dua Lipa - 529 scrobbles (around 26.5 total hours, which means around 4.3 minutes a day)

Meghan Trainor - 492 scrobbles (around 24.6 total hours, which means around 4 minutes a day)

Ariana Grande - 485 scrobbles (around 24.25 total hours, which means around 4 minutes a day)

Top 15 albums:

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (1887 scrobbles, AKA around 94 hours)  - Probably my favorite album ever.

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (1740 scrobbles, AKA around 87 hours) - A chill album that I really like!

Emotion: Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (923 scrobbles, AKA around 46 hours) - A collection of B-Sides that is better than other people’s main material and its parent album

High Road by Kesha (792 scrobbles, AKA almost 40 hours) - THE PARTY ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Melodrama by Lorde (642 scrobbles, AKA around 32 hours) - Masterpiece

Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen (642 scrobbles, AKA around 32 hours) - To be fair, all my streams from Kiss have been streams of its good songs, which are, like, 60% of the album

Electra Heart by Marina & The Diamonds (585 scrobbles, AKA around 29 hours) - An amazing concept album

reputation by Taylor Swift (476 scrobbles, AKA almost 24 hours) - I love the energy of this album

Bad Ideas by Tessa Violet (473 scrobbles, AKA 23.5 hours) - Amazing.

FROOT by Marina & The Diamonds (454 scrobbles, AKA around 22.5 hours) - This album really grew on me. It’s almost as good as EH.

The Truth About Love by P!nk (408 scrobbles, AKA around 20.5 hours) - My favorite P!nk album, filled with bops.

Manic by Halsey (407 scrobbles, AKA around 20.5 hours) - It has high highs and very low lows.

Animal by Kesha (396 scrobbles, AKA almost 20 hours) - Incredible

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa (373 scrobbles, AKA around 18.5 hours) - Very consistent and very good.

Sunshine Kitty by Tove Lo (358 scrobbles, AKA almost 18 hours) - Filled with bops.

Top 15 tracks:

Happy Not Knowing by Carly Rae Jepsen - Carly’s songs are usually growers for me - I don’t like them immediately, but when they grow on me, I love them passionately for a very long time. Happy Not Knowing was an exception. It was the song that I fell in love with on my first listen of Dedicated. It’s my second favorite on the album, after Too Much, but it turns out that it managed to beat it, even if Too Much has an MV. Good for it. Also, my aro ass can very much relate to the sentiment (even if Carly’s doing this to not hurt herself, I can very much Frankenstein this into an aromantic song, thank you very much) - (294 scrobbles)

Too Much by Carly Rae Jepsen - This song might as well have been called “Carly Rae Jepsen violently comes for Tumblr user @ravenclawer‘s ass”. I adore it, the MV is amazing, and it’s one of my favorite songs ever. - (277 scrobbles)

Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen - I have called this song a song that can turn an aroace into a girl desperate for love for a period of 4 minutes and I stand by my word. My favorite CRJ song ever. - (251 scrobbles)

Want You In My Room by Carly Rae Jepsen - This song is so fun. - (217 scrobbles)

Let’s Get Lost by Carly Rae Jepsen - Let’s Get Lost is pure joy. I honestly think it’s a perfect pop song, and I could go as far as call it a quintessential Carly song. Like, one of the biggest advantages Carly has over many other artists in my eyes is the fact that her singing is so full of emotion - of joy, sorrow, pity. And this song showcases that well. My face literally lights up every time I hear it. - (206 scrobbles)

I’ll Be Your Girl by Carly Rae Jepsen - One of my faves on Dedicated. I love the pettiness behind it. To be frank, I was sleeping on this song until I saw fanart about it, and that fanart made the song click in my head. - (194 scrobbles)

Cry by Carly Rae Jepsen - This song is incredible. One of my top 3 favorite CRJ songs. I can’t really describe it, but.... it’s Cry. I have literally seen people pray for Dedicated Side B to have a “Cry”. It’s Cry, and that’s enough of an explanation. - (184 scrobbles)

Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen - It’s fun! I love the MV, it makes me wanna dance! A nice song! I am perplexed over why I have listened so much to it, as I like every single song from #9 to #15 more than it, but hey, data doesn’t lie. Oh shit, it just got to the prechorus, I take it back, it’s amazing. - (179 scrobbles)

Party For One by Carly Rae Jepsen - Jepsies shit on this song, and this angers me. It’s a bop, the music video is iconic, and it’s classic Carly. I love it. - (177 scrobbles)

LA Hallucinations by Carly Rae Jepsen - THE MOST SLEPT ON SONG FROM EMOTION. THE MOMENT WHEN THE “PLANES I’M HOPPING CARDS I’M DROPPING” HITS, MY WIG IS INSTANTLY EVAPORATED AND I DIE ON THE SPOT. - (172 scrobbles)

Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen - You know, this is also surprising, because I’m one of the three (3) CRJ stans that does not worship this song. Like, it’s amazing, but I can name 10 better song on Emotion only. But still, it’s amazing. LET’S RUN AWAAAYYY I’D RUN AWAY WITH YOUUUUU - (171 scrobbles)

Fever by Carly Rae Jepsen - You have not lived until you have shouted this song at the top of your lungs while biking in the countryside. One of my three favorite songs from CRJ. The live performance is also amazing. - (154 scrobbles)

The One by Carly Rae Jepsen - This song finally fully clicked for me in August, and, Jesus, this song is truly one of her best. IF YOU WANT TO, YOU COULD HOLD ME TIGHT, I DON’T WANNA BE THE ONE - (152 scrobbles)

Cut To The Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen - It’s Cut To The Feeling, come on, it’s literally one of the best pop, nah, best songs in history. - (150 scrobbles, however, if we count a certain cover, it jumps to #5 with 209 scrobbles)

Making The Most Of The Night by Carly Rae Jepsen - I remember first hearing this song and reading a comment that said “This song is literal pop perfection”. And, you know what? I’m inclined to agree. - (149 scrobbles)

ooookay, so that top 15 is super diverse, so I’m gonna do a second top 15 with the songs that are not from CRJ lol

17. Crush by Tessa Violet - This song is SO GOOD. It’s not special to me or anything, but it’s SO GOOD. - (134 scrobbles)

20. Delicate by Taylor Swift - One of my favorite songs of all time. It’s up there with “Your Type”, “Please Don’t Leave Me” and the others. - (114 scrobbles)

23. Tonight by Kesha - as a user on r/popheads described it: “THE TRASHY HOE ANTHEM OF THE YEAR” - (134 scrobbles)

24. Primadonna by Marina & The Diamonds - My mental state when I drink five cups of Coca Cola in a row and I get too happy about life. - (111 scrobbles)

25. So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings by Caroline Polachek - I wanted to dislike this song SO HARD, cause she just kept popping in my recommendations, but once I gave in.... a masterpiece. - (110 scrobbles)

27. Stay Over by Tove Lo - What is with me and desperate bops? Amazing, a masterpiece. - (108 scrobbles)

28. Physical by Dua Lipa - LET’S GET PHYSICAL MISS DUA! The MV is a masterpiece. - (108 scrobbles)

30. Supercut by Lorde - One of my favorite songs of all time. A bop, a masterpiece, the moment. - (105 scrobbles)

32. Liability by Lorde - The only song that has ever made me cry. - (100 scrobbles)

33. Talking Body by Tove Lo - A sexy bop. - (100 scrobbles)

38. You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift - It’s catchy, I like it - (98 scrobbles)

39. Don’t Start Now by Dua Lipa - DON’T SHOW UP - (97 scrobbles)

45. Convenient by Lo Lo - This song is so bitchy, it captures the exact kind of energy I’m striving towards. Masterpiece. - (89 scrobbles)

46. Between You & Me by Betty Who - A bop I discovered in summer! Amazing! - (87 scrobbles)

48. Green Light by Lorde - I’M WAITING FOR IT! THAT GREEN LIGHT! I WANT IT! - (87 scrobbles)

some fun stats (for me):

Top Artists:

CRJ has more scrobbles than #2, #3, and #4 combined and if she had a couple hundred more, we could add #5 to the equation.

I’m honestly surprised Halsey and Charli XCX even made it to the top 15, considering I don’t think of myself as a fan of them.

Britney at #9 is a welcome surprise.

It’s very curious to me how I have listened more to Meghan Trainor than Ariana Grande

Also, the small gaps after #7 are really funny. Like the gaps in #1 - #6 are in the hundreds, and the gaps in #7 to #15 happen to be something like 15 scrobbles lol

Top Albums:

I didn’t expect Electra Heart that high, but good for her

I am pretty sure I listened to reputation enough to help TS get to #5 of my Top Artists.

Just Emotion’s scrobbles would have been enough to get CRJ to #2

Top Tracks:

40% (6) of the top 15 all-time tracks are from Dedicated, 33% (5) are from Emotion, and the rest 27% (4) are from Emotion Side B (if we count Cut To The Feeling)

60% of the top 10 all time tracks are from Dedicated, 30% are from Emotion and 10% are from Emotion: Side B

Month Recap:

I will be treating the statistics like charts cause it’s fun lol

May 2019:

May 2019 in one sentence: Carly Rae Fucking Jepsen.

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (404 scrobbles, AKA around 20 hours, AKA 2 hours a day) - CRJ released her new album a few days before I started my last.fm, so I was obviously listening to her a lot.

Sara Bareilles (65 scrobbles, AKA around 3 hours) - I was just discovering her hit songs.

Ke$ha (36 scrobbles)

Paramore (34 scrobbles)

P!nk (30 scrobbles)

Top Albums:

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (184 scrobbles, AKA around 9 hours, so probably one listen of the album a day) - It just came out, and I am a slut for CRJ.

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (64 scrobbles, AKA around 3 hours)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (63 scrobbles)

Kaleidoscope Heart by Sara Bareilles  (29 scrobbles solely from Gotta Get Over You)

Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen (27 scrobbles)

Top Tracks:

Want You In My Room By Carly Rae Jepsen (37 scrobbles) - You know, I’m kinda surprised it’s on top, since it’s not in my top 3 in Dedicated, but, to be fair, I probably listened to my top 3 a lot in the three days the album was out and I didn’t have last.fm. A bop.

Too Much by Carly Rae Jepsen (33 scrobbles) - My favorite song on the album. Legendary.

Gonna Get Over You by Sara Bareilles (29 scrobbles) - I had forgotten exactly how much of a bop this song was. I discovered it around the time I set up my last.fm.

LA Hallucinations by Carly Rae Jepsen (21 scrobbles) - One of my faves on Emotion. Deserved much better.

The Sound by Carly Rae Jepsen (19 scrobbles) - You know, this is kinda surprising, cause The Sound isn’t one of my faves, but, hey, it’s a bop.

As there were only 10 days of tracking, there is less material. On to the first full month of tracking!

June 2019:

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (990 scrobbles, almost 50 hours, so about an hour and 40 minutes a day) - Miss Carly Rae Jepsen continued her dominance over my ears and my heart during June. As she should. 

P!nk (+3) (245 scrobbles, around 12 hours) - P!nk was my favorite artist of all time until 2019, and now shares that title with CRJ and Kesha. Dunno what I listened from her during June yet, but she is very much a summer artist.

Kim Petras (+16) (107 scrobbles, around 5 hours) - Kim Petras has bops, and released her debut album in late June, so I listened to quite a bit.

Taylor Swift (+33) (95 scrobbles)

Ke$ha (-2) (90 scrobbles) - Love her

Top Albums: (Carly Rae Jepsen Dominating My Life Part 2)

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (303 scrobbles, aka 15 hours) - Oh, wow, Emotion managed to outperform Dedicated? Surprising, but, to be fair, this album is timeless and it has so many bops, I adore it.

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (230 scrobbles, aka 11.5 hours) - Dedicated is very much a spring album in my eyes, so as summer gets closer and closer, it seems to give some place to Emotion. I remember being really obsessed with Want You In My Room in June.

Emotion Side B (=) by Carly Rae Jepsen (164 scrobbles, aka 8 hours)

Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2) (63 scrobbles, aka 3 hours)

The Truth About Love by P!nk (+23) (54 scrobbles)

Top Tracks:

Too Much by Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (48 scrobbles, AKA around 1.6 times a day) - I mean, are we surprised.

Want You In My Room by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (46 scrobbles)

Cry by Carly Rae Jepsen (+7) (44 scrobbles)

You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift (debut) (41 scrobbles) - I was obsessed with this song when it came out. Don’t know why people don’t like it.

Happy Not Knowing by Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (36 scrobbles) - The first appearance of what will eventually become my top track of the year.

July 2019:

July was the month of my internship and my sea vacation. I love July.

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (803 scrobbles, around 40 hours, so about an hour and 20 minutes a day) - Third month in a row!

Taylor Swift (+2) (245 scrobbles, around 12 hours) - I actually don’t remember what I was listening to from her during July, we’ll get to that in the Top Tracks section.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (+8) (119 scrobbles, around 6 hours)

P!nk (-2) (118 scrobbles) - I always listen to P!nk when I’m on a sea vacation, it’s rules. Like, I associate Funhouse with the amusement parks near the sea.

Ke$ha (=) (106 scrobbles, around 5 hours)

Top Albums: (Carly Rae Jepsen Dominating My Life Part 3)

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (229 scrobbles, aka 11.5 hours)

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (226 scrobbles, aka 11 hours) - Dedicated out there giving Emotion a run for its money.

reputation by Taylor Swift (+12) (127 scrobbles, around 6 hours)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (85 scrobbles, aka 4 hours)

Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (74 scrobbles, around 3.5 hours)

Top Tracks:

In My Bed by Sabrina Carpenter (debut) (41 scrobbles, aka 1.3 times a day) - Wow, Carly has finally been dethroned on one chart! I remember discovering the MV for this song in July and really enjoying it. It’s a bop!

Too Much by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (38 scrobbles, aka 1.3 times a day) - Too Much ain’t going nowhere for a third month straight.

Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen (+54) / Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen (+4) / I Did Something Bad by Taylor Swift (debut) (I had just discovered this song, and god, it’s amazing) (33 scrobbles, aka around 1 time a day)

Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen (+30) (31 scrobbles)

Between You And Me by Betty Who (debut) (This song is so summery, I adore it!) / Right Words Wrong Time by Carly Rae Jepsen (+106) (29 scrobbles)

August 2019:

I spent half the month biking in the German countryside, singing my heart out to Carly lol

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (544 scrobbles, around 27 hours, so about an hour a day) - Third month in a row!

Taylor Swift (=) (156 scrobbles, around 8 hours) - Her new album came out in late August, so I listened to it a bit.

Katy Perry (+6) (59 scrobbles, around 3 hours)

P!nk (=) (51 scrobbles)

Ariana Grande (+6) (48 scrobbles, around 2.5 hours)

Top Albums:

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (140 scrobbles, aka 7 hours)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2) (125 scrobbles, aka 6 hours) - August 2019 was the moment Emotion Side B fuly clicked for me. Fever and The One got promoted to masterpiece level in my mind. Also, Side B is such an August album. I adore it.

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (85 scrobbles, aka 4.5 hours)

Lover by Taylor Swift (debut) (78 scrobbles, around 4 hours)

Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (72 scrobbles, aka 3.5 hours)

Top Tracks:

Fever by Carly Rae Jepsen (+19) (THE MOST MEMORABLE SONG FROM AUGUST, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED UNTIL YOU HAVE SCREAMED “SO I STOOOOLE YOUR BIKE” WHILE RIDING A BIKE WHILE THE AUGUST SUN SETS AND THE SKY IS PINK) / Happy Not Knowing by Carly Rae Jepsen / Small Talk by Katy Perry (26 scrobbles, around 1 time a day)

Too Much by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (25 scrobbles)

Party For One by Carly Rae Jepsen (+8) (24 scrobbles)

Queen Of Mean by Sarah Jeffrey (debut) (23 scrobbles)

I’ll Be Your Girl by Carly Rae Jepsen (+36) / Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) (this particular song hits really different in August) (22 scrobbles)

September 2019:

Summer dies and I go back to school.

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (398 scrobbles, around 20 hours) - CRJ really said “y’all ain’t taking my spot on the top artists chart”

Marina & The Diamonds (+31) (107 scrobbles, around 5 hours)

Taylor Swift (-1) (103 scrobbles)

P!nk (=) (76 scrobbles) - P!nk is #4 for the third month in a row lol

Britney Spears (+1) (64 scrobbles)

Top Albums:

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2) (141 scrobbles, around 7 hours) - As summer dies down, Dedicated manages to outperform Emotion for the first time since the month of its release. Good for her.

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (87 scrobbles, aka 4.5 hours)

Electra Heart by Marina & The Diamonds (reenter) (74 scrobbles, aka around 3.6 hours)

Lover by Taylor Swift (=) (36 scrobbles)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (-3) (30 scrobbles)

Top Tracks: (AKA Marina and Lana teaming up to finally kick CRJ out of the top 2)

Doin’ Time by Lana Del Rey (debut) (31 scrobbles) - This is such a September song, it’s amazing.

Starring Role by Marina & The Diamonds (debut) (29 scrobbles) - This was around the time I realised this song is actually a masterpiece. Fuck me up, Marina.

Want You In My Room by Carly Rae Jepsen (+73) (28 scrobbles) - The MV came out in September, and I, naturally, adored it.

Obsessed by Mariah Carey (debut) (26 scrobbles) - I discovered the MV on Youtube and it was and still is, a bop.

Happy Not Knowing by Carly Rae Jepsen (-4) (25 scrobbles)

October 2019:

My biggest memories from this month: Discovering Melodrama and Bad Ideas. (Also Body Talk by Robyn)

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (420 scrobbles, around 21 hours)

Taylor Swift (+1) (252 scrobbles, around 12.5 hours) - I’m calling it: this is from my autumn listens of reputation + the song Red

Lorde (debut) (214 scrobbles)

Marina & The Diamonds (-2) (151 scrobbles)

P!nk (-1) (127 scrobbles)

Top Albums:

Melodrama by Lorde (debut) (200 scrobbles AKA around 10 hours) - Carly finally gets kicked out of the first place by a masterpiece of an album. Discovering Melodrama in autumn was a fucking experience. A masterpiece.

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (196 scrobbles AKA around 10 hours) - It’s amusing to me exactly how close the two are lol

Bad Ideas by Tessa Violet (debut) (100 scrobbles, AKA around 5 hours) - I adore this album.

Turn Off The Light by Kim Petras (debut) (88 scrobbles, AKA around 4.5 hours) - I mean, it’s the Halloween month, you expect me not to listen to it?

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (-4) (79 scrobbles, AKA around 4 hours)

Top Tracks: In a shocking turn of events, CRJ is completely kicked out of the top 5. Autumn sadness (or, dare I say, melodrama)’s impact.

Graveyard by Halsey (debut) (42 scrobbles) - A bop. I also really liked the summer-autumnish aesthetics in the MV.

Supercut by Lorde (debut) (40 scrobbles) - Masterpiece.

Liability by Lorde (debut) (39 scrobbles) - When I listened to it for the first time, I cried. I never cry.

Do You Miss Me At All by Bridgit Mendler (debut)/ Clementine by Halsey (debut) (Ugh, this and Graveyard’s aesthetics. Me love it.) (35 scrobbles)

Red by Taylor Swift (debut) (34 scrobbles) - An acquaintance had the nerve to say it’s better than Delicate, so I gave it a listen. Spoiler Alert: It’s not, but it’s a good song.

November 2019:

Warm autumn is gone. Seasonal depression.

Top Artists:

Tessa Violet (debut) (256 scrobbles, AKA almost 13 hours) - And so, the artist who has the honor to end CRJ’s 6 month streak at #1 is revealed. I love Tessa. I continued to listen to her album in November, it’s amazing.

Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (248 scrobbles, AKA around 12.5 hours) - She ain’t giving up without a fight, your honor.

Lorde (=) (179 scrobbles, AKA 9 hours) - *screams in Melodrama*

P!nk (+1) (154 scrobbles, AKA 7.5 hours)

Britney Spears (+7) (126 scrobbles) - I think I was discovering Britney in autumn.

Top Albums:

Bad Ideas by Tessa Violet (+2) (179 scrobbles, AKA around 9 hours)

Melodrama by Lorde (-1) (178 scrobbles) - THE GAP addjajdasla

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (101 scrobbles)

The Truth About Love by P!nk (+4) (95 scrobbles)

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (72 scrobbles, AKA around 3.5 hours)

Top Tracks:

So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings by Caroline Polachek (debut) (62 scrobbles)

Don’t Start Now by Dua Lipa (debut) (54 scrobbles)

Haze by Tessa Violet (debut) (47 scrobbles)

Back To You by Selena Gomez (debut) (37 scrobbles)

Crush by Tessa Violet (debut) (34 scrobbles)

I feel like my variety of songs I get obsessed with shrinks as winter approaches. Or, you know, those five songs are that good.

December 2019:

*insert mental image of me desperately ignoring my final thesis project*]

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (495 scrobbles, AKA around 25 hours) - Aaaand she’s back :)

Tove Lo (+43) (199 scrobbles, AKA 10 hours) - I think I discovered Sunshine Kitty around December, which was my introduction to Tove Lo after discovering Glad He’s Gone in the summer.

Tessa Violet (-2) (113 scrobbles, AKA around 5.5 hours)

Britney Spears (+1) (98 scrobbles) - It is most amusing to me how she keeps popping up in this chart, when I’ve never fully listened to an album of hers, and she doesn’t appear on the other two charts lol. Love her.

Taylor Swift (+1) (97 scrobbles)

Top Albums:

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (+4) (174 scrobbles, AKA around 8.5 hours) - Okay, I figured it out: Dedicated is a winter and spring album, Emotion is summer and autumn.

Sunshine Kitty by Tove Lo (debut) (170 scrobbles) - I discovered it that month, a solid album. Stay Over is my fave on it.

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (131 scrobbles)

Bad Ideas by Tessa Violet (-3) (75 scrobbles)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (+14) (73 scrobbles)

Top Tracks: (wow, this top 5 is both diverse in terms of artists and immaculate in quality)

Happy Not Knowing by Carly Rae Jepsen (+117) (51 scrobbles) - Okay, so I’m pretty sure this is the point in which Happy Not Knowing began to gain on Too Much to eventually overthrow it as my most listened-to song.

Stay Over by Tove Lo (debut) (49 scrobbles) - I was and still am obsessed with this song.

Out Of Touch by Dove Cameron (debut) (41 scrobbles)

Crush by Tessa Violet (+1) (38 scrobbles)

Feeling of Falling by Cheat Codes feat. Kim Petras (debut) / I’m Fakin’ by Sabrina Carpenter (debut) (37 scrobbles)

January 2020:

I was in a trance between the middle of January and the middle of February. Music related things I remember: Listening to Selena Gomez’s singles and Halsey’s Manic in the beginning, being obsessed with Kesha’s new album High Road and Dua Lipa’s Physical at the end.

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (753 scrobbles, AKA around a whooping 37 hours, which is the highest scrobble rate since June and July lol)

Ke$ha (+10) (538 scrobbles, AKA 27 hours) - Her new album came out in the end of the month, I think she would have topped the chart if it was in the beginning lol

Halsey (debut) (291 scrobbles, AKA around 14.5 hours) - Her new album came out in the middle of the month. I enjoyed half of it, but that half was amazing.

Tove Lo (-3) (201 scrobbles, AKA around 10 hours)

Taylor Swift (=) (189 scrobbles) - I didn’t realise I listened to her that much lol

Top Albums:

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2) (301 scrobbles, AKA around 15 hours) - Emotion and/or Dedicated almost constantly beating new albums every month will never fail to amuse me

Manic by Halsey (debut) (249 scrobbles, AKA around 12.5 hours)

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) (214 scrobbles, AKA around 10.5 hours)

Animal by Kesha (debut) (128 scrobbles, AKA around 6.5 hours) - OOH, I remember that, I was relistening to Animal to get ready for High Road. A great album.

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (124 scrobbles, AKA around 12 hours)

Top Tracks: (This entire Top 5 outperforms every single song that has charted in the Top 5 yet, save for Caroline Polachek’s So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings, which is only outperformed by the Top 2)

Talking Body by Tove Lo (debut) (a WHOOPING 89 scrobbles, which is very close to 6 hours. This has to be a record) - I discovered this song in the beginning of the month, and gods, it makes me feel so empowered and cool. It’s amazing.

Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA (debut) (Again, a WHOOPING 65 scrobbles, which I think beats every single #1 on the Top Tracks chart yet save for Talking Body) - I discovered this masterpiece on the second day of the new year, and, I don’t know, this song is so fitting for the timeless period in January. I can’t describe it, but it’s amazing.

You Should Be Sad by Halsey (debut) (59 scrobbles) - Such a nice song, I love the MV too.

True Romance by Ashley Tisdale (debut) (58 scrobbles) - I discovered this song along with the top 2 on this chart and it’s amazing, I love it.

Cut To The Feeling by Elijah Mann (debut) (this CRJ cover is probably the best one I’ve heard yet. Amazing) / VIP by Kesha (debut) (54 scrobbles)

February 2020: The trance continues as I do the majority of the work on my thesis project in the last three weeks. As one does.

Top Artists:

Kesha (+1) (663 scrobbles, AKA around 33 hours) - Kesha joins Tessa Violet as the only artists who have managed to dethrone Carly on this chart. (Both of them were riding off the wave of their new albums which I adore)

Carly Rae Jepsen (-1) (564 scrobbles, AKA around 28 hours)

Marina & The Diamonds (+7) (256 scrobbles, AKA around 13 hours) - And so we enter the so called “Marina” period. When I discovered Marina in early 2019, I listened to her constantly from February to April, and then I slowly stopped listening to as much. I resonate most with her during these months.

Meghan Trainor (+2) (166 scrobbles, around 8 hours) - Meghan’s album came out on the 31st of January, along with Kesha’s, and, in a criminal offense to the entirety of the Internet, I am proud to announce I’m a casual Meghan fan. Don’t come at me.

Taylor Swift (=) (157 scrobbles, also third month in a row where she’s #5)

Top Albums:

High Road by Kesha (+6) (549 scrobbles, AKA around 27.5 hours) - High Road joins Melodrama and Bad Ideas as the only albums that have managed to dethrone CRJ’s Emotion and/or Dedicated on this chart. (With a gigantic lead, mind you)

Electra Heart by Marina & The Diamonds (+19) (143 scrobbles, AKA around 7 hours) - Aaaand Marina barely manages to outperform Emotion. Good for her!

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) (142 scrobbles, AKA around 7 hours)

Emotion Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (115 scrobbles)

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) / Treat Myself by Meghan Trainor (debut) (106 scrobbles) - THE WAY Meghan’s album could barely tie CRJ’s third highest album on the chart lol

Top Tracks: We have some insane numbers again due to my self-isolation to work on the thesis project.

Let’s Be Friends by Carly Rae Jepsen (debut) (76 scrobbles) - Y’all can obviously see what a new CRJ song can do to me lol

Physical by Dua Lipa (debut) (64 scrobbles) - It’s a bop with an incredible video!

Tonight by Kesha (+13) (61 scrobbles) - BITCH WE’RE GOING OUT TONIGHT

Kinky (feat. Ke$ha) by Kesha (debut) (58 scrobbles) - Dare I say, iconic.

BFF (feat. Wrabel) by Kesha (debut) (57 scrobbles)

March 2020: I attempt to get my life together and a global pandemic says “bitch you thought”

Top Artists:

Marina & The Diamonds (+2) (627 scrobbles, AKA around 31.5 hours) - Marina’s power over me during “Marina season” is unmatched

Carly Rae Jepsen (=) (477 scrobbles, AKA around 24 hours)

Lo Lo (debut) (222 sctobbles, AKA around 11 hours) - Lo Lo is an indie artist, whose music I discovered during March. She’s amazing, I DM’d her on Instagram to tell her so and she responded!

Dua Lipa (+6) (196 scrobbles, AKA almost 10 hours) - Her album “Future Nostalgia” came out at the end of the month. Amazing.

Conan Gray (debut) (175 scrobbles) - ALERT! ALERT! A MALE HAS APPEARED! The public is shocked. Anyways, his album Kid Krow also came out in the middle of the month - amazing.

Top Albums: (first time CRJ is kicked out of the top 3, and, hell, even the Top 4)

FROOT by Marina & The Diamonds (+8) (236 scrobbles, AKA around 12 hours) - That month, FROOT finally fully clicked for me. An amazing project.

Sweater Collection by Lo Lo (debut) (186 scrobbles, AKA around 9 hours)

Electra Heart by Marina & The Diamonds (-1) (167 scrobbles, AKA around 8.5 hours)

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa (debut) (157 scrobbles, AKA around 8 hours)

Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) (150 scrobbles, AKA around 7.5 hours)

Top Tracks:

Convenient by Lo Lo (debut) (a WHOOPING 88 SCROBBLES, only 1 scrobbles below Tove Lo’s Talking Body, which currently holds the record of the most scrobbled track in a month) - This song is fucking amazing.

You & Jennifer by Bülow (debut) (I discovered this from one of Conan Gray’s vlogs, they are very relaxing to watch. Amazing) / Can’t Pin Me Down by Marina (65 scrobbles)

Solitaire by Marina (debut) (62 scrobbles) - I can’t believe I used to find this song boring before March.

Yours by Lo Lo (debut) ( (56 scrobbles)

Femmebot (feat. Dorian Electra and Mykki Blanco) by Charli XCX (debut) (50 scrobbles)

April 2020: Bored.

Top Artists:

Carly Rae Jepsen (+1) (212 scrobbles, AKA around 10.5 hours) - The Presiding Angel Of Pop returns to the top for the first time since January. As she should.

Marina & The Diamonds (-1) (194 scrobbles, almost 10 hours)

Kylie Minogue (debut) (176 scrobbles) - I really got into some of her singles, and I also listened to her album Fever. Sadly, it wasn’t good, so the majority of the scrobbles are from the singles.

Dua Lipa (=) (155 scrobbles)

Kesha (+3) (154 scrobbles)

Top Albums:

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa (+3) (141 scrobbles, AKA around 7 hours) - A great album, it was also my workout music.

Pure Heroine (Extended) by Lorde (debut) (110 scrobbles, AKA around 5.5 hours) - I discovered this album in April and, Lord (e), it really is as good as Melodrama.

Fever by Kylie Minogue (debut) (85 scrobbles)

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2) (69 scrobbles (ayyy))

Pang by Caroline Polachek (debut) (68 scrobbles) - I really got into some of the songs.

Top Tracks:

Fever by Kylie Minogue (debut) (52 scrobbles)

I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton (debut) (50 scrobbles) - I discovered this song that month and Jesus, it’s so much better than Whitney’s version.

Levitating by Dua Lipa (debut) (41 scrobbles)

XS by Rina Sawayama (debut) ( (38 scrobbles)

Cool by Dua Lipa (debut) (35 scrobbles)

May 2020: Spring approaches.

Top Artists:

Rina Sawayama (+3) (184 scrobbles, AKA around 9 hours)

Charli XCX (+28) (165 scrobbles, AKA around 8 hours)

Carly Rae Jepsen (-2) (162 scrobbles, AKA around 8 hours)

Kesha (+1) (130 scrobbles, AKA around 6.5 hours)

Lorde (+1) (127 scrobbles, AKA around 6.5 hours)

Top Albums: (this is the first month in which Emotion and Emotion Side B are dropkicked into oblivion out of the Top 40 lol)

Sawayama by Rina Sawayama (+27)  (182 scrobbles, AKA around 9 hours) - Okay, so, after having r/popheads scream at me indirectly and after getting obsessed with XS, I finally gave this a listen and, man, this is such a stellar record.

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen (+2)  (85 scrobbles, AKA around 4 hours) - I discovered Dedicated’s true calling as soundtrack while cooking. Amazing.

Pop 2 by Charli XCX (debut)  (74 scrobbles) - You know, the irony here is that I dislike, like, 60% of the album. Like, these scrobbles are solely from Track 10, Backseat, Out Of My Head and Femmebot.

Pure Heroine (Extended) by Lorde (-2)  (70 scrobbles) - Because it’s spring and we’re in a pandemic and I’m 19 and I’m on fire

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish (debut) (44 scrobbles) - I first listened to this album when it came out and I found it boring. Then, I participated in a rate on r/popheads which made me do a relisten, and this album is actually really solid!

Top Tracks:

Track 10 by Charli XCX (debut)  (48 scrobbles) - I am not a Charli XCX fan. Like, I feel like a big part of her experimental tracks drop the ball. This, however? This is a masterpiece.

Queen Of Disaster by Lana Del Rey (debut)  (42 scrobbles) - I heard this song from Tiktok lol. First unreleased song on the chart!

Bad Friend by Rina Sawayama (debut) (28 scrobbles) - I do not want to comment on the ways miss Sawayama brutally called me out in this song.

Dead Horse by Hayley Williams (debut) (27 scrobbles) - A bop.

XS by Rina Sawayama (-1)  (25 scrobbles)

Some Observations:

Carly Rae Jepsen has spent 9 months on top of the Top Artists chart.

There has been a CRJ album in the Top 5 Albums every single month, with Dedicated only being kicked out in March, and Emotion in April and May.

The only Top Albums yet: Emotion (4 months), Dedicated (3 months), Melodrama (1 month), Bad Ideas (1 month), High Road (1 month), FROOT (1 month), Future Nostalgia (1 month), Sawayama (1 month)

The only male artists that have appeared on the chart are Conan Gray as #5 on the Top Artists chart in March and Elijah Mann on the Top Tracks chart in January as #5

The lowest place CRJ has been kicked to in the Top Artists chart is #3.

The lowest place CRJ has been kicked to in the Top Albums chart is #5.

The songs with the most scrobbles on the monthly Top Tracks Chart: (also, just noticed #1 and #2′s artists have Lo in their names lol)

Talking Body by Tove Lo

 - 89 scrobbles in January (#1). That correlates to around 3 listens a day.

Convenient by Lo Lo

- 88 scrobbles in March (#1)

Let’s Be Friends by Carly Rae Jepsen

 (#1) - 76 scrobbles in February

Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA

 (#2) - 65 scrobbles in January.

You & Jennifer by Bülow

 and 

Can’t Pin Me Down by Marina

 - 65 scrobbles in March, tied for #2 in March

The only artists who have managed to briefly dethrone CRJ on the Top Artists chart: (The longest wait between CRJ’s #1s is two months: she didn’t have the top spot in February and March)

Tessa Violet (after the release of her new album and by 8 scrobbles)

Kesha (after the release of her new album, and with a healthy lead of 99 scrobbles)

Marina & The Diamonds (out of nowhere, and with the biggest gap yet, with 150 scrobbles)

Rina Sawayama (by 20 scrobbles) / Charli XCX (by 3 scrobbles lol)

This was fun, I might edit in some more observations later!

[demonsonthemoon]

You Know Every Part of Me

Fandom: Les Misérables Pairings: platonic Jehan & Grantaire, romantic background Grantaire/Enjolras Word Count: 3793 Summary: "Isn't it weird?" Jehan helps Grantaire pick out an outfit for her date, and the two of them have a discussion about their relationship. Note: Years ago (I'm guessing around 2014, but I'm not sure anymore), the ever amazing @anastasiapullingteeth posted a Jehan/Grantaire fic on Valentine's day. That fic changed my life, because it allowed me to meet someone I'm very proud to call my friend. I posted this fic on AO3 on Valentine's day 2020, and I'm still both proud and lucky to call Caro a friend. Also, I'm still totally in love with Jehan and Grantaire. Happy meeting anniversary, Caro. I love you. Title for the fic is taken from the song "Dear Jealousy" by Mika, because I was uninspired, and also, it's a bop. I changed some of the characters' pronouns in this fic, so Grantaire uses she/her and Enjolras ey/em (which is totally a reference to my old fic Tunnel Lights, because I was feeling nostalgic.) Also, the book mentioned in the beginning of the story is The Heretic's Guide to Homecoming by Sienna Tristen.

Also available on AO3.

“Isn't it weird?”

“Um?” Jehan shook himself from the novel he was reading – a fantasy book, one that actually engaged with the idea of language barriers, and how was Jehan supposed to resist to that? - and looked up at Grantaire. “Don't wear that shirt,” he immediately said. “You already wore it on your last date.”

Grantaire looked down at the black collared shirt she had put on, an eyebrow raised. “Really?”

Jehan couldn't help but smile a little. “Trust the only person in the room with a fashion sense.”

Grantaire's eyebrow managed to rise by another centimeter, and she gave Jehan a pointed look. There was a possibility that Jehan deserved that look, because he was currently wearing Mickey Mouse leggings under an oversized knitted jumper he'd found in a charity shop. “I never said that I had a good fashion sense,” Jehan pointed out, trying to stop himself from giggling. “Just that I had one.”

“This is why people don't trust you,” was Grantaire's reply as she started taking off her shirt.

 Jehan dramatically pressed his open book to his chest as he mimed being fatally wounded. “I have no idea what you mean. I am obviously the most innocent and trustworthy person anyone has  ever  met.”

 Grantaire's response to  that  , was to throw her newly-discarded shirt at his face. Jehan tried to make an affronted noise, but he started laughing before he could properly pretend to be mad.

“Okay, so what should I wear, dear innocent-one-with-a-fashion sense?”

Jehan properly sat up from where he was lounging on Grantaire's bed so he could look at her closet. Truth be told, she didn't have a lot of options that were date-appropriate, although Jehan had to scoff at the notion that there were such things as inappropriate clothes for a romantic occasion. Wasn't the point of those things to be yourself with another person? But if it meant something to Grantaire to dress up before a date, he would do his best to help despite their limited options.

“Go with the black tanktop that has lace on the front and your green turtleneck.”

Grantaire picked out said items from her wardrobe and oblingingly put them on, before assessing the outfit in front of her mirror.

“Yeah, I guess that will do.”

Jehan rolled his eyes. “Could you show any more enthusiasm?”

Grantaire turned towards him at that, her curls bouncing with the movement. She grinned as she approached the bed. “I'll show you enthusiasm,” she said. She then picked up Jehan's book from where he was still clutching it and marked his page before putting it down on the bedside table. It was a small gesture in the middle of a bigger moment, but Jehan's attention latched onto it. That small act expressed all the care that Grantaire put in her relationship with Jehan, and it made him echo her smile even as she bent down to kiss him.

Grantaire was indeed enthusiastic enough, and their clash of lips was anything but chaste as she kneeled over Jehan and licked her way into his mouth. Jehan was more than happy to respond in kind, sucking her lower lip between his as he ran his hands across the soft fabric of her sweater.

After making some sort of satisfied noise that Jehan would lovingly qualify as a purr, Grantaire pulled away.

“Wait,” she said in a fake-serious tone. “I was making a point.”

“If the point was to remind me of how much I like kissing you, consider it made,” Jehan retorted with a grin.

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me, young man.”

“Not even into your pants?”

Grantaire laughed at that. “That line was so bad I think you stole it from me. Aren't you supposed to be a poet?”

Jehan shrugged. Grantaire bent down to kiss him once more.

“Nice try, but these pants are staying on for the time being. You're supposed to be helping me get ready for a date, not seducing me.”

“I can perfectly do both at the same time. I'm sure Enjolras would appreciate seeing you out of your pants as much as I would.”

Grantaire blushed a little at that, swatting at him half-heartedly. “Stop that!”

It made Jehan laugh, free and easy, because the fact that such a simple comment could make Grantaire glow like this was just delightful.

“Like I said, I was making a point. About this. About us. I don't know.”

“And what was the point exactly?”

“Just...” Grantaire quieted down a little, sighing. “Isn't it weird? Shouldn't it feel weird?”

Jehan shrugged, tilting his head in consideration. “I mean, we've talked about 'this, us', before, I think we've been over the fact that most people would find it a little weird. A lot of people are still weird about stuff like open relationships and polyamory, so if you try to bring up stuff like 'commited platonic sexual relationships', it's gonna raise a few eyebrows.”

Grantaire rolled her eyes. “I know that, it's not what I mean.”

Jehan didn't say anything in reply, waiting for Grantaire to figure it out herself. This was something they'd talked about. They'd had to, both when they had first started flirting and Jehan had oh-so-casually slipped in that he was aromantic, and when Grantaire's simmering love story with Enjolras had finally turned into a proper romance. Those conversations hadn't exactly been fun, because discussing emotional needs and establishing boundaries was complicated work, but they had gone well enough that their relationship still worked. That didn't mean there weren't kinks that needed to be worked out from time to time (pun fully intended, some kinks being a lot more fun than others.)

“What I mean is that this, this whole helping-me-out-before-a-date thing, that wasn't part of the package. That's not something we talked about. And it just... I don't know.”

“You said that it should feel weird,” Jehan started carefully. “Does it?”

Grantaire shrugged. “I don't really know. That's my issue here. It's weird because I don't actually know how it makes me feel. I feel like... On the one hand, it's nice to have you here. I like you, obviously, and it just feels... normal, reassuring. On the other hand... I guess I'm kind of always aware of how it might look to other people. It just feels like... Like I'm flaunting it. Like it should make you uncomfortable.”

“You mean you and Enjolras?”

Grantaire nodded.

Jehan took the time to think about it, sitting up and crossing his legs so as to be more comfortable. This sounded like it was quickly turning into a conversation, so he might as well put himself at ease.

“Well, first of all, it's not like you're showing off something that I actually want. It's...” He paused for a moment, picking his words carefully. Jehan prided himself for the fact that he was pretty attuned to his own feelings. He did write poetry, thank you very much. But that also meant he was particularly aware of how contradictory his feelings could get, and overly conscious of the things he preferred not to think about. “It does sound... nice. It obviously makes you happy.” Grantaire couldn't repress a small smile at that, like she still couldn't believe her luck after three months of dating, and fuck but she was adorable. “Which is great. But I guess sometimes it does make me feel... envious, in some way.” That got the smile right out of her face, which made Jehan want to flinch. “Not in a... not in a personal way. It's not that I'm jealous of Enjolras, or of what you have with em. Not really. Not... specifically. It's more... Well. The feelings you have for each other seem to mean so much, and to make you happy. So I do sometimes feel envious that I don't... feel anything like that. That I don't get what it's all about. But it's all abstract. It doesn't mean I actually want it. Not really. Am I making any sort of sense?”

Grantaire had settled on the foot of the bed, mirroring Jehan's position. She looked at him, pensive.

“You are. At least I think so. It's not about jealousy for a person in particular, more about... the general sense that we're enjoying something you can't feel.”

“Yeah, something like that. But I don't want you to... try and hide it, or anything. That would feel weirder. And I think it would kind of be sad. I would rather know about the good things in your life than know you're hiding something from me to spare my feelings. And it's not as if society wasn't constantly throwing huge fucking clues at my face that I'm supposed to feel like I'm missing out on something, so I doubt those feelings would disappear anyway.”

Jehan shrugged again. The gesture wasn't enough to cover the bitterness in his words, but it was all he had to offer. Grantaire didn't say anything for a few seconds, considering his words. At least she wasn't looking at him with pity. That was probably one of the best things about her, and about the relationship they had. The fact that Grantaire – despite not exactly understanding how his emotions worked – didn't pity his lack of romantic attraction, and the fact that she was well aware that he was still perfectly able to pursue the kinds of relationship he did want. For example, the kinds of relationships that involved getting into Grantaire's pants.

It wasn't that Jehan was usually so single-minded about this type of thing. It's just that Grantaire cleaned up good.

“So it's not weird for you?” She finally asked, and Jehan had to re-route his train of thoughts and catch up with the conversation.

He shrugged again. “It's not that it's not weird. It's just that so much of my life would be considered weird by a lot of people, that at some point I stopped getting worked up about that feeling. I would say that my technique is to vaguely acknowledge the norm and how I feel about it, and then move on and ignore it for the rest of whatever it is I'm doing.”

Grantaire grinned at that. “Like you seem to vaguely acknowledge fashion and then ignore it every time you take clothes out of your dresser?”

Jehan mimed wiping tears off his face. “I know, it's so sad. For such a brilliant woman to die so young. Oh, no, it couldn't have been anything other than a natural death. Who would want someone like that dead?”

Grantaire laughed at his antics, and Jehan had to admit he was fairly proud of himself for finding friends who still laughed at that kind of things despite his having left the highschool drama club four years ago.

“But seriously,” Jehan said, back to a more serious tone. “I don't think asking if it feels weird is the right question. Sure, it's weird, but so am I and so are you. Doesn't mean I would change anything about it.”

Grantaire hummed under her breath in agreement.

Silence settled after that, allowing the moment to quiet down. Jehan let it. Grantaire wasn't the type of person to be quiet. Not usually. Not unless she was feeling particularly comfortable. Talking a lot, giving an answer to everything and having a brash attitude were all ways that she had of protecting herself. Silence was her true way of showing vulnerability.

Jehan lied back down on the bed, and opened his arms. Grantaire smiled at that, and settled into the embrace until they were properly spooning. The position felt a little silly, due in large part to the fact that Grantaire was the little spoon despite being nearly a head taller than Jehan, but neither of them really cared. It felt comfortable.

After a few minutes of easy quiet, Grantaire mumbled something.

Jehan made an inquiring noise, loathe to actually talk, which would involve moving from his position.

“I said that if you're not jealous of em, there's no reason for you to hold me hostage until I miss my date with Enjolras.”

Jehan giggled a little, closing his arms tighter around his friend. “Oh yes, that is exactly what this is, a dastardly plot to stop you from leaving,” he whispered against Grantaire's back.

“I've always known you were an evil mastermind,” Grantaire quipped back, still not moving away.

“Sure,” Jehan easily agreed. He suddenly felt confused. Was he really supposed to be jealous of Enjolras when he could have this? Something easy and soft, something that didn't push him to give more than he wanted to, but still offered him so much in return?

It wasn't that it was easy. It just felt like it was worth it. More so than anything else he could imagine.

Still smiling, he pushed Grantaire away, earning a groan from the woman. “Come on, I didn't help you pick a killer outfit for no one else to see it.”

[friendlyneighborhoodborg]

Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 4: Rainbow| “Color by Numbers”

And I’m barely on time for Day 4 of @wearemiraculous‘ challenge.  I don’t have time to edit it tonight, school and procrastination mean I’m posting this late at night, and I have some more homework I want to get done before tomorrow.

Again, the prompt interpretation was very loose here.  “Rainbow,” I interpreted to mean as... well, I think we all know what the rainbow’s supposed to mean.

Disclaimers were in Day 1.

(~2700 flipping words.)

Edit:  Something’s wonky with the url, so here’s a link to the chapter on AO3.

Subsequent Edit: It might work now, but I’m keeping the link up just in case. 

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

           “Alright,” Nathaniel surveyed.  “I don’t have a lot of homework tonight.  I can do the line-art up to page 3 while you’re settling the specific dialogue.”

           Marc looked at the sketchbook.  Nathaniel had filled in about five full pages with incredibly detailed pencil sketches, including multilayered shading, during the hour they had been sitting here.  On top of this, he’d created many new reference sketches for the two villains – Princess Fragrance with an updated costume, and the newly-created Ghostlight – as well as some new action poses for Reverser (Marc decided to keep the name after all).  It looked like something out of an actual, professional superhero comic, and he had the gall to sit here and claim he could only ink half of it.

           This boy was going to be the flipping death of him.

           “You’re really good,” he said before he could stop himself.  “I mean… you’re going to be famous one day.”

           “Hah.”  He shook his head and leaned back in his chair, smiling.  “No, I’m not there yet.  Maybe you, though, one day.”

           “N-no.”  Marc retreated into himself.  “I’ve just been writing what you told me.  It’s your story.”

           “It’s a crap story.”

           “No, it’s not.  It’s a great story, and it’s yours.  You’ve got great art, awesome designs, and the only weak thing here is my writing.”

           “You see,” Nathaniel said, sitting back up.  “That’s where you’re wrong on everything.”

           “You could’ve had the story without me,” Marc stated.  It wasn’t even an argument or an opinion in his eyes- it was just fact that Nathaniel was a better creator. “Just saying, you should have found someone better.”

           “Well, look at this.”  Marc’s journal was snatched out of his hands, despite his protests.  Nath pointed out the section Marc had already shown.  “This is emotional stuff, you hear? Reverser gets de-akumatized, he runs away when he doesn’t change back and Mighty-Illustrator finds him.”  He skimmed down the paragraph.  “All these parallels you drew between them, being the only ones to stay powered up even uncorrupted, all this, this depth you gave them that I never even thought they could have.”  He slammed down the journal and stared him down.  “This scene would be meaningless without your dialogue.”

           “It’s just words.”  Marc’s voice was weaker now.  “That’s all I’m good at.  And it was your story.  You set everything up, I just filled in the blanks.”

           “All you’re good at?”  Nathaniel released the journal from its captivity.  “Sure, fine, okay.  Words are all you’re good at.  And words were all Shakespeare was good at.  It was all Dumas was good for.  Everything Tolkien was good for.”  He pointed at it.  “This is just… you’re incredible, okay?  Seriously.  And trust me, once they see it, everyone’s gonna agree.  Then you’ll get the appreciation you deserve.”  He started placing his sketchbook, pens, and pencils into his bag.  “Now take a rest, man, you deserve it.  I’ll keep you posted.”

           It was one of Nathaniel’s many attributes.  He was so adamant that people he admired had a worth that exceeded his own, Marc had to wonder how he didn’t realize his own abilities.  No, drawing was just a thing he liked to do, never mind that he was so good at it.  Nathaniel seemed more interested in Marc’s contribution to the project, something Marc hadn’t expected from his first impressions. Now his friend was trying to moderate his wellbeing?

           Marc found himself unable to say no.

           Here he was, a trashy gay mess of a thing.  If Nathaniel kept up with his talent and humility and his whole coolest-person-on-the-planet deal, Marc would never shake his crush at this rate.

           Elsewhere in the room, Rose walked into the art room and made her way towards Juleka, who was tuning her guitar.  “Sorry Julie,” she apologized.  “I looked all over the classroom, and I couldn’t find your mirror anywhere.”

           “Really?” Juleka smirked, guitar on her knee, flashing the chain that was on her wrist. “What a surprise.”

           “Oh!”  Rose looked at the accessory in surprise.  “You found it!”

           “It was in the locker room.  I went down while you were across the hall.”  From behind her bass, she withdrew a small black box with a pink ribbon.  “I grabbed this, too.”

           Rose’s eyes widened at the unexpected object.  “Julie, what is this?”

           “An early surprise.”  The goth unstrapped the guitar to stand up and hand the present over. “I know our six-month anniversary isn’t till Saturday, but…”  A wide smile spread across her features.  “Well, I couldn’t wait.  I had to see your face when you opened it.”

           Rose looked at it in surprise.  “For me?”  She hesitantly picked it up from the gloved hand.  “Julie, you shouldn’t have.”

           “Oh, I kinda did.”  Juleka waved a hand dismissively.  “Considering you’re always getting me things, I had to return the favor somehow.”

           “No, you didn’t,” she argued, loosening the bow on top.  “You’re more than enough already.  I always feel like I’m in your debt.”  She almost dropped the box once she opened it and saw inside.  “Oh.  My.  God.”

           Marc stopped packing up to look across at the two.

           Rose gingerly fingered the sterling chain, hypnotized by the charm.  Marc couldn’t see it from his vantage point, but it was a small heart, the size of a coin, with spiked silver-colored bat wings coming off of it.  The heart was set in a chrome border, cast resin of swirling dark pink.  “Did you make this yourself?

           “Luka helped with the metalwork.  It’s not real silver, it’s tin, but… well, there isn’t really a difference.  You outshine both the same.”

           Rose stifled a laugh, unable to stop herself from tearing up in euphoria.  She rushed Juleka and enveloped her in a hug.  “I love it! I’ll wear it every day!”  She quickly clasped it around her neck.  “I love you so much!”  Rose forcefully pulled her face down (the downside of dating someone a head taller than her) and crashed into it.

           Marc stared at them, wondering what it’d be like to hold Nathaniel like that and kiss him like that.  And for just a second, watching their young love, he let himself dream that his crush wasn’t such a bad thing.

           “Oh, come on,” Alix groaned, breaking the spell.  “Teacher!  They’re at it again!”

           The girls separated, blushing when they realized they had an audience.

           The art teacher sighed.  “Alix…”  He got up from his seat.  “Girls,” he reminded, “you did say you had a lot of work to do.  I can only keep the room open for another half-hour.”

           Rose sighed.  “Yes, Mr.—”

           “Hey, Marc,” Nathaniel nudged him out of his observation.  “You okay? You should get some rest.”

           “I’m fine,” he assured, waving a hand towards the pair.  “Just, uh… researching our subjects, I guess.”

           “Oh yeah.  Rose and Juleka.”  Nath nodded. “They’re interesting, alright. Part of the reason I agreed to do them for the comic.  That reminds me, we should really start thinking about how we’re introducing Juleka’s new villain.”

           “Their dynamic is really weird.  Juleka’s normally really quiet.  But when she’s talking to Rose, it’s so much easier for her to talk.”

           “You noticed that too, huh?”

           “They’re…”  Marc bit his lip.  “They’re really happy, aren’t they?”

           “If not, they sure fooled me.”

           “Then… And they get to be themselves.”

           Nathan looked at them.  “Yeah,” he murmured.  “Good for them.”

           Rose and Juleka wrapped up, and Rose walked over to the Graphiti Gurl (as she requested it be spelled).  “That wasn’t very nice, Alix.”

           “I’m sorry,” Alix grunted, doodling in her homework. “I’m not in the mood today.”

           “I’m sorry to hear that.”  Nevertheless, she persisted.  “But you could have said nicely if we were bothering you.”

           “Probably.”  She looked up.  “I wasn’t in the mood for that either.”  They looked at each other for a moment.  “Don’t look at me like that.  I’m an ass, it’s in my genetics.”

           “Right next to the ace gene?” Juleka asked.

           “Oh,” Alix grinned, “you bet your bass it is.”

           “You okay?”

           “Yeah, just not terribly into everyone’s hyperromantic bullshit today.”  She closed her workbook.  “No offense in particular to the lovely gay couple in here.”

           Marc suddenly found himself speaking.  “It’s not as if their love is a hindrance to your life.”

           “It is a little in my case.”  She turned to Marc.  “But it’s not cause they’re gay, if that’s what you’re thinking.  I’d be just as moody if a straight couple did what they just did.  I’m just not a lovely person.  It always seems so fake, the way they people those things, and it gives me a weird sense of… squick.”  She shuddered.  “I’m aromantic, if you didn’t know.”

           “Sorry?”

           “I don’t fall in love.  Aromantic/Asexual, I don’t even get crushes.”

           “Huh.”  Marc sat down closer to her.  “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

           “Not many people do.  It’s the more obscure end of the sexuality spectrum.”  She gestured all around them.  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but almost everyone in this room is queer.”

           “R-really?”

           “Yep.”  Alix cracked her knuckles and stared him down.  “That better not be a problem, Shakespeare.”

           “No, I… I just thought there was supposed to be some… ten-percent statistic or something.”

           This elicited a laugh from the punk.  “Marc, Marc, my dear Marc,” she put her feet up on another chair.  “We are Parisian.  We are the ten-percent statistic.”

           Marc was overwhelmed with yet another emotion he couldn’t name.  “So,” he stalled.  “You’re all… gay?”

           “Queer,” Rose corrected.  “That’s the blanket term.  You already know Juleka and I are dating, right?”

           “Well, yeah, but—”

           “Well, I’m bisexual.”  She put a hand on the taller shoulder and leaned into her.  “And she’s a lesbian.”

           “I noticed.”  Marc did a double-take.  “Wait, hang on, did you say everyone?”

           “Well, everyone but you, maybe.  Even the art teacher’s out.”

           “So, what about…”  He turned to his writing partner.

           Nathaniel realized everyone was looking at him.  “Um… I don’t…” he buried his nose into Marc’s writing journal, masterfully evading whatever question they were going to ask before they asked it.

           “Forget it,” Alix said.  “He’s gone statue again.  I can never get anything out of him like this.”  “Hey, anyone see where the art teacher went?”

           “It’s 16:30.”  “He must have left.  Guess we can leave now.”

           “Alright.”  Alix scooped everything into her bag.  “Later, losers.  Nate?”

           Nath left with her.  Marc walked out as well, Rose and Juleka at his heels.

           ‘Everyone in here is different,’ he mused.  ‘Like me.  Could I…’

           “Hey Shakespeare,” Nath stopped him.  “Your bag.”

           ‘Shoot.’

           Marc ran up to catch the closing door.  “See you tomorrow, he called, retreating back inside.

           ‘Maybe one day.’

           “Rose,” beckoned Juleka, at the base of the metal stairs.  “You coming?”

           Rose bit her lip nervously.  “Behind you, my love.”  She turned back towards the room.  “I’ll catch up.”

           He stuffed everything into his sack, and he was about to leave when…

           “Rose?” he asked, looking at the girl in the doorway with confusion.  “What are you doing here?”

           “I think we need to talk.”

           “… about the comic?”

           “About you.”  She stepped forward.  “You’re acting really weird.”

           “Uhhh…… this is how I normally act.”

           “And it’s really weird.  You flipped out about Juleka yesterday, and today you were kinda staring at us, and you were interested in our dating preferences.”  She gave him a sharp poke in the ribs.  “You don’t have a crush on my girlfriend, do you?”

           “N-no,” Marc yelped.  “I-I don’t.”

           “Then why are you stuttering?”

           “B-because you’re… really close up, it’s actually kind of uncomfortable.”

           “Oh, sorry.”  She backed away.  “Let’s see, then… it’s something about a crush, though isn’t it?  I’m really good at telling when someone has a crush.”

           “I-I don’t want to—”

           “Come on, I won’t judge—”

           “Please, Rose, can you just drop it!?”

           Rose quieted, shocked at Marc’s rise in volume. He instantly regretted his tone.

           “I’m sorry.”  He panicked.  “Oh, geez, I’m sorry.”

           “It’s okay.”

           He stood there, letting the atmosphere soak up the noise.  Then, with his voice so low he might as well have stayed silent, he mumbled.  “I like boys.”

           “Oh.”  Rose smiled sympathetically.  “I… That can’t have been easy for you.  I promise, it doesn’t make a lick of difference.”

           She held out her hand.  “Friends?”

           Marc stared at it.

           For the first time in his life, there was someone who was queer, and who knew he was gay, and who… wanted to be his friend.

           Here, in front of him, was someone who might know what was wrong with him.

           “Is it… normal?”

           Rose smiled.  “Yes.”

           “Not that.”  He summoned his courage.  “Is it normal for… for gay men to… not feel like men sometimes?”

           That was it.  The leap of faith.  Either he was normal, there was something in his life that could even be considered normal, and he might be able to live with that.

           Rose wasn’t smiling anymore though.  Her eyes had gone wide, and she was looking at Marc with dismay.

           “I… I don’t think so.”

           Marc shattered.

           “Why do… why do you ask?”

           “Because I’m fucked up.”  He fell back onto the box, clutching his arms and hunching over. His hollow eyes started dripping black mascara, spilling over from an over-filled heart.  “Because I’m not normal, and I like boys instead of girls, and sometimes…”

           Rose didn’t answer, or bid him continue, or say anything that could help him determine how she’d react.

           He sniffed.  “Sometimes… I think I’d feel better if…”  He was just waiting now, any moment, Rose was going to turn and walk away in disgust.  “It’s-It’s fucking crazy, but…”  

           Rose put a hand on his shoulder.  “Hey…” she whispered.  “You can let it out.”

           With one final push, and the reassurance he needed, he forced himself to.

           “Sometimes I want to be a girl!”

           Rose hugged him.  Marc weakly returned the embrace, burying his face into her shoulder.

           “There, there,” she consoled, a voice genuinely caring about his trouble.  “So is that why you freaked out when… oh.  Reflekta zapped you, didn’t she?”

           Marc sobbed a little.  Rose held him tighter.

           The pain was getting too big to ignore now.

           He shifted in his seat and Rose let go.  “But just, like,” he blubbered.  “I’m fine, a lot of the time.  Being me, being a boy.  It’s just sometimes… not all the time, but sometimes I wish my chest was bigger and I didn’t have a—”  He looked up, blushing.

           Rose got the picture.  “Oh, buddy… Is that it?”  She took a deep breath.  “Well, I can’t say I know much about dysphoria, but I guess—”

           “Does it even count as dysphoria?  If I don’t feel it all the time?”  He grabbed at his hair, the stress overcoming him.  “And that’s not even all of it… sometimes I just feel wrong.  No matter how much makeup I put on, how feminine I look, it’s always wrong, like nothing I can do will make me look right.  And sometimes, the more I use, the less it works.  And it feels like I’m missing some crucial detail, but I don’t know what, and it just leaves me feeling… empty.”  He covered his face with his hands.  “I feel like that now.”

           “I’ve done some reading online,” Rose said. “Dysphoria hits in different ways sometimes.  If you’re a girl…”  She trailed off, surveying him.  “If you’re actually a girl, you shouldn’t force yourself to be a boy.  That could really be bad for you, with the coginate… distance – shoot, I heard Max say it once. When you try to accept two different things at the same time?”

           “Doublethink?”

           “Sounds right.  Maybe.”

           Marc chuckled ruefully.  “So you think I’ve tricked myself into being a boy?”

           “Maybe.  Whatever it is, I’ll help you.”  She caressed his shoulder again, offering her comforting touch.  “You can be yourself, Marc, no one can take that from you.”

           “Trust me.”

You know what, any editing of this work after I post these will come after the week is already finished.  I am not giving myself more to do.  But these are done for now, until I think of any better rewordings.

(How I wrote this: I typed out a few cool moments ahead of time, got distracted, and connected them all on the day it was due.)

Comments much appreciated, as always, I want to know if there’s anything I should change in future chapters.

[bunk12bear]

I learned  it From The Pizza Man Chapter 3

After that, Lance ordering from the pizzeria became a regular occurrence.

Their little talks continued to lengthen as the weeks went by, much to the Chagrin of their friends. They discussed music (“ Beyonce is a goddess don't you dare insult her”), movies “ (I'm excited to see Moana, looks like the music's going to be great” “seriously, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a gift  from the musical theatre gods”) attractive celebrities( “any opportunity to see  Channing Tatum half-naked is an opportunity I'm going to take”), Pet peeves( Why would you clap at the end of a movie no one can hear you, it completely defeats the purpose of clapping) and more.

Lance had just started out as a very cute customer but now Keith was really starting to fall for him. Lance was funny, smart, kind, generous, ambitious and of course devastatingly handsome. Keith didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. Lance knew he was adopted but he had no idea that said adoption happened when he was already a teenager, Lance didn't know about the years in foster care. He knew Lance had a good heart but he was still terrified that he'd run the instant he knew the truth, he wouldn't be the first person to do so. For now, he just has to enjoy talking to Lance when he delivered his Pizza

========================================================================

Lance was smitten, when he had left instructions to the pizza place it had been a joke He never could have imagined that would it would end up here Weeks Later with him Having a giant crush on them and they sent. Angelica Jackson tried to ask him out and he barely noticed because he was thinking about Keith and she was not only gorgeous with a great personality but probably the smartest person in his Statistics class. Beginning of the semester him would have been horrified that he let that opportunity slip. he had dreamed about Keith, dreamed about him, like some lovesick teenage girl but it couldn't help himself Keith was Just so amazing.

Of course, his friends had noticed and had delighted in ribbing him endlessly about his new crush.

“ Oh Keith you have such pretty eyes,” Pidge said one night flopping Onto the couch In a fake swoon worthy of a particularly cheesy soap opera

“ God even his voice is sexy” Hunk joined in sighing dramatically and fluttering his eyelashes.

“ Oh shut up you guys and hunk my man, you were even worse than this when you first met  Shay”

Pidge laughed out loud“ See this is why I'm glad that I'm  an aromantic asexual none of his goobly crap for me, just science and logical reasoning”

“ Was it science or logical reasoning that made you cry When somebody brought that really nice RTD2 replica to your robotics Club”

“ Shut up or I'll tell Keith exactly what you think about his quote-unquote perfect ass”

It happened like this almost every Time to order pizza, An Occurrence That had, completely coincidentally, increased since Lance met his pretty pizza boy.

Another week's Exchange had been simple as hunk had been too busy preparing movie snacks to join in

Pidge had ordered this time and, obviously priming herself for a joke,Looked up from the menu on her laptop eyes Sparkling mischievously

“  Hey Lance, what do you want”

“Uh, sausage”

Pidge looked like Christmas had come early

“ Oh I know but what kind of pizza do you want”

Lance rolled his eyes and quickly selected At least favorite movie in the collection in retaliation

========================================================================

After an initial couple of weeks, Lance stopped putting special instructions, Shiro knew to send Keith if he was ordering. This Week however there were instructions, “ tell me I'm pretty” easy enough Lance was always pretty.

As he passed the doorbell he wondered what Lance was up to, something that became immediately obvious upon The door opening. Lamps were some kind of Clay face mask thing, pajama bottoms and a ratty old hoodie that looked like it could have Come from his parents' College days.Lance managed to be gorgeous even in that get-up With his pretty blue eyes and his stupidly broad shoulders,

Keith blushed scarlet. '" you're pretty”

Lance's face lit up and he handed Keith a 20

========================================================================

Lance had spent the next two weeks bragging about how flustered he had made Keith.

The exchange that week had gone normally, Keith handed Lance the food they talked and flirted for a bit and Lance handed Keith his tip but before Rams could close the door Keith grabbed his arm to stop him.

“ Open the box”

“ What?”

“ Just do it'

Lance did as instructed and there amongst the grease stain was a poem

“ I know it's like some kind of cheesy but a boy like you makes romance easy”

Lance's cheeks tinted, “ I um, I don't think I asked you to write a poem”

“You didn't, I wrote that poem myself”

Lance could have kissed him.

He brought the food back in absent-mindedly dropping it on the coffee table dropping under the couch with a sigh

“ Oh, what did Your pizza boy do this time,” PIdge asked

“ He wrote me a poem, a wonderful beautiful poem”

“ And where exactly is this poem Loverboy?”

Lance shot her  a dopey smile” on the inside of the pizza box isn't that romantic”

Pidge opened the pizza box and snorted,” wow, he's really got a way with words”

“ He does, doesn't he”

“ I was being sarcastic”

Hunk plopped down next to them,” what's happening”

“Pizza boy wrote swoony over here a  poem  on the inside of a pizza box”

Hunk opened the box and read the poem, “Awwwww !!! That's So cute”

“I think I'm going to ask him out”

“You should”

“ Yeah, that might stop all the pining, dude it's getting gross”

Lance ignored her and began to chatter happily with hunk planning how exactly he would do this.

========================================================================

The week after the poem Keith was feeling nervous again, What if he had overstepped the boundaries of whatever what's happening between them, he was worried Lance would stop ordering but like clockwork, his order came.

Keith's heart skipped a beat when he read this week's instructions, “ Ask me on a date”

Here ran to Shiro who had just finished up dealing with yet another appearance of olive bro who was as badly behaved as ever.

“ Hey, Keith you'll never guess what Olive bro is mad about this time apparently he  thinks that me offering his date one of our dessert specials means I think she is fat and”  he trailed off “ “Wait you look very happy did Lance do something again'?”

 “He asked me to ask him out on a date, Shiro,  I have no idea what to do”

“ Do you want to go on a date with him”

“Yes"

“ Then ask him out, little bro it's that simple”

“ If it's so simple then why haven't you asked delivery boy on a date yet”

“ Curtis”

“What?”

“His name is Curtis and he's doing the delivery job to pay for medical school, he's studying to be a nurse oh, he's also ex-military like me”

“ Wait, you actually talked to him”

“ Yeah, we're going out for drinks next Saturday”

“ Nice job Shiro!"

“ Hey, I got my date with my cute boy you go out and get yours”

“I will”

Keith smiled the entire bike ride to Lance's place

“He hopped off the bike threatened his outfit took a deep breath and knocked on the door

Lance opened it, looking as gorgeous as ever and Keith nearly forgot what he was to supposed to do

“ Hey”

“ Hey”

“ Your most recent instructions are very interesting”

Lance raised an eyebrow, "Was it?

“Completely coincidentally I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime”

“ wow, I have no idea what prompted this but yes, of course, I'd like to go on a date with you”

They ignored the gagging noises  Pidge made in the background

“We could have dinner and catch a movie, I still haven't seen Moana”

“That sounds great there is a movie theater close to this Mexican restaurant my buddy Hunk won't shut up about”

“ I love Mexican food, sounds great How does Saturday at 4:30 sound”

“ Great, see you then” and with that Lance leaned over and pressed a kiss Keith's  cheek

Keith was really looking forward to this date.

Author's note: will I get better at capitalization, will I actually address Keith's issues with his past or is that just something I randomly added without thinking about how I'd have to incorporate it, will I actually include Alaura like I promised, what will olive bro do next these questions and more answered go will be answered in the next exciting installment of I learned it from the pizza man!

Okay in all seriousness I'm decently proud I got this far I'm not very good at finishing projects.I ultimately decided to go with Canon for Shiro's little romance side plot, Curtis is apparently the name of the man who marries at the end of season 8 and I know I didn't have them actually have a conversation within the text in my story but I had them reference a conversation and that's more than DreamWorks gave them.