demonsonthemoon

[demonsonthemoon]

About Time

The past few days were so chaotic for me, but didn't want to let this week go without a submission from me, so here's a short, really short story for this year's @aggressivelyarospec's #AggressivelyArospectacular event!

“You deserve to be this happy, too”

That was something Olivia, “Liv”, was used to hear from her best friend, Cecile. When Jeff met his current boyfriend, “You deserve to be this happy, too”. When Amanda got engaged, “You deserve to be this happy, too”. When Nora welcomed her first baby, “You deserve to be this happy, too”.

Liv knew she didn’t say it with malice. They’ve talked about Liv’s place on the aromantic spectrum and Cecile had sworn she understood, but Liv knew it was still hard for her to fully grasp what it meant for Liv, for her future.

Cecile’s definition of happiness was nowhere near what Liv wanted, but she didn’t see the point in arguing with her best friend about it. Instead she just smiled and let her go back to celebrate their friends’ achievements. It wasn’t ideal, but it was easier and Liv needed easier right now.

Despite her inability to fully understand Liv, Cecile was a pretty good friend. She always made sure to include her in her adventures and even cancelled dates with her boyfriend if she already had plans with Liv. She respected and appreciated her, and that was more than enough for Liv. Who cared if she was a little confused about who Liv was. There was time for that. They had all the time and Liv was patient. She could wait.

“You’d be miserable if you were normal.”

Liv stopped on her tracks and stared at Cecile. They were at the local park walking their dogs and holding an ice cream cone each, taking their time to savor it as the little guys sniffed their way around. For a second Liv thought she’d heard her wrong, taken aback by the use of the word ‘normal’ in such a way, so she had to think for a couple of seconds before confirming that, yeah, Cecile had said that. “Sorry?”

“You’d be miserable if you were normal,” Cecile repeated, liking a drop of ice cream from her hand as she struggled to keep her dog away from a puddle.

“What do you mean,” Liv asked, striding to catch up with her.

“Well, I’ve been thinking. About what we talked about the other day? About you hating romantic stuff and all that?”

“If by ‘the other day’ you mean almost a year ago, yeah, okay. And the word ‘hate’ was never mentioned, but sure.”

Cecile snorted but Liv noticed she was blushing. “Okay, fair. But anyway, I’ve been thinking and realized… I can’t even see you doing all that stuff people are supposed to do.” She stopped and focused on Liv’ eyes, like she was looking for a confirmation of what she just said. “Like ‘normal’ stuff,” she added, actually mimicking the air quotes which made Liv smirk. “Like marriage or kids. That’s so not your thing, you know?”

“Okay?” Yeah, she knew.

Cecile resumed walking, finishing her ice cream in the process while Liv followed. “And now I’m thinking I’m really glad you never listened to me because you’d be miserable if you had to live that life and I don’t want you to be miserable,” she cleaned her fingers on the fabric of her jeans and threw her arm around Liv’s shoulders. “I like you like this, weird and a little bit ruthless. Society's expectations would look terrible on you, babe.”

“Well, I can do that. Anything for you, ‘babe’.” Cecile laughed and pulled her closer to her as they kept walking.

Maybe Liv didn’t have to wait that long for Cecile to fully understand her.

[demonsonthemoon]

Hallo, Aro: Tomorrow

For @aggressivelyarospec​​‘s Aggressively Arospectacular 2024, I have another Hallo, Aro story: a series of (mostly) flash fiction stories about allosexual aromantic characters navigating friendship, sexual attraction, aromanticism and the weight of amatonormative expectation.

Contains: A cantankerous autistic allo-aro guardsman, an flirtatious allistic allo king and the amatonormativity lurking in traditional heroic narratives.

Length: 1, 295 words / 5 PDF pages.

Content advisory: This story contains sex references and mentions along with depictions of sexual attraction. Please expect depictions of and/or references to these as well as ableism, general aro erasure, aro antagonism, love used to mean "romance", allosexism and amatonormativity (including reference to how these may harm allosexual alloromantics). Death, violence, murder, and threat of impending/likely death, violence and murder in a fantasy context, is mentioned casually and seriously by both characters.

“You do know,” Efe says into the darkness, an abundance of clunks and cries emanating from the taproom downstairs, “that tomorrow we’re probably going to die.”

For a man contemplating his imminent mortality, he sounds suspiciously conversational.

“I’ve spent the last seven years thinking that,” Darius says at length—because he can’t conjure any reason for Efe’s mismatch in subject and tone. If his employer won’t bother to make sense, he can suffer awkward honesty! “I couldn’t be in this—at the school, or in this work, elsewise. But I still hope for overmorrow.”

It isn’t something he dares dwell upon, just the omnipresent truth in a world scant on safety for a divergent magician talented in the art of alienating—if not outright angering—others.

“Liv…!” Efe huffs an indignant-sounding sigh. “Dear gods, sometimes you’re just thick!”

Darius rolls over in search of a spot that doesn’t dig into his spine and hip, the rickety bed creaking even under his weight. How do people sleep on mattresses bearing more lumps than the average barnacle-encrusted rock? Shouldn’t one pay an innkeeper to be comforted by one’s bed? “Speak plain, then! Because I want some sleep before we go to be captured by Adel’s men, and insults don’t help!”

Efe, from the room’s second bed, sighs again. “In stories, heroes who risk their lives to save the kingdom pass the night before in acts of ribald intimacy.” He makes a sound somewhere between a cough and a chuckle. “Said plain: if you’re probably going to die tomorrow, you’re encouraged to first have let’s-ignore-our-impending-doom sex. Several times. Preferably with a lamp lit so I can watch your—”

“What happens,” Darius asks before Efe finishes that dreaded sentence, “afterwards?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the stories! What happens after the sex?”

“If it’s a tragedy, they die. If they survive, they usually confess their repressed love for each other. Get married as the kingdom celebrates. Live happily ever after.”

Darius scrapes his teeth over his upper lip, shuddering. Would he have accepted this job if he’d realised how difficult it would become to keep Efe at arm’s length? Yes, the disguised king of Siya is no small amount attractive, and sometimes quite amusing, but Darius didn’t consider the real problem: the persistence with which Efe continues to declare his interest in Darius. Even after promising not to flirt! “I told you that I don’t romance. Can we just sleep?”

“I know you say what you mean,” Efe says slowly, “but I can’t see what that has to do with my proposition.”

Darius sits up, tossing aside the smothering blanket. In the dark, the poky little room feels like a mouse-scented prison cell. Camping by the road, he can walk away whenever Efe becomes insufferable; here, Darius’s only option is the fouler-scented taproom. “How can I be plainer? I don’t want romance or marriage. I don’t feel that way towards people. I want to do the job, only the job, for which you hired me. That’s protecting your back while you tilt at tyrants! So stop asking, suggesting and staring at my arse, because I don’t want what comes afterwards, those damned happily ever afters!”

For too long, Darius hears only their breaths: one man calm and steady, the other quick and gasping. He digs his fingernails into his forearms and exhales for as long as he can before counting the length of his inhalations. Sleep must now surely shun him, but he can—he will—keep from succumbing to frustration.

Efe isn’t wrong: tomorrow will be a bloody, dangerous affair.

“Half the world, it seems, has tried to seduce me. Some people fancy themselves in love—more the crown, less the man. Others use love as a tool.” Efe’s voice sounds unwontedly soft. “I’ve been romanced since before being old enough to be romanced. I suppose that twists you some.”

“I don’t,” Darius says, fighting to speak clearly, “know what ... the words, for that. What they are.”

He never thought to wonder why a monarch of Efe’s age remains unwed.

“Few do.” Efe laughs. “But you’re the only person this side of the Shearing Straits who doesn’t see a crown.”

“I, uh, I—”

“So I don’t understand,” Efe interjects, “why anything you’ve said matters. Why we can’t be friends or companions who have sex on a night when neither of us will sleep? I won’t, because I’m much more cowardly than I look, and if your mattress is as bad as mine, you’re plotting fire and torment upon all innkeepers.” He rasps another laugh. “You don’t wish sex to result in all that ‘afterwards’? Let’s declare storybook afterwards off the table, because I’m far from enamoured by it—but I do appreciate how you sneak a look whenever you think I’m too busy with a washcloth to notice!”

All possible deities be thanked for the sheltering dark: Darius’s cheeks burn hot enough to melt a dozen candles.

“Why, then, should we let mutual admiration go unassuaged?”

Darius’s lips quiver as he speaks, making the fight to enunciate even more difficult than usual. “I have two people who do that. Two. Everyone else…”

“You aren’t exactly forthcoming with trust, are you?”

Darius shakes his head. “Seven years, remember?”

“Overmorrow, remember? You’re a stubborn, stroppy thrower of non-metaphorical sand in people’s faces. You make me regret, and how, any accidental line crossing. Why don’t you trust you to handle me if I slip up and start thinking about love—not that I plan to?” Efe hesitates, his blankets rustling. “I trust you to stand at my back tomorrow. I also trust you to tie my balls in knots when you decide I deserve it—as much as I trust myself to do the same. Do you?”

Seven years. One long, unrelenting lesson in victimhood. “You know I don’t have balls,” Darius murmurs, fisting his hand in his hair. Just an omnipresent sense of the world as dangerous, people merely violent perpetrators in potentia. Just a wall, as smooth as glass and infinitely tall, he built behind which to hide, avoid, survive. “Nor did you properly stop flirting!”

Cowering won’t aid him tomorrow when Efe seeks to destroy one of the world’s actual perpetrators of violence. If Darius trusts Efe enough for that, why should mere sex feel such a risk?

“Metaphorical balls, man! And I’ve respected every other ask you’ve made of me—just not the one you keep undermining.”

True, and Darius never forgets that much of what he needs to endure the world makes small sense to most. Efe has been uncommonly perceptive, if not always patient, in navigating life with a divergent magician. What, then? Lie awake, struggling to ignore thoughts and senses alike? Or indulge a want that annoys Darius only because he feels he must resist? Yes, Efe may be lying or pretending, but isn’t his openness part of what makes him so annoyingly appealing?

Darius sighs, stands and patters across the room’s none-too-clean floor. “This doesn’t lead to romance, marriage or exclusivity. Or any—any thinking that sex is a duty you’ve paid for.”

“No, no, no, and no.” Efe snorts a chuckle. “To the relief of many a still-hopeful courtier.”

Darius exhales, hesitating at the foot of Efe’s bed. “No touching my face. That includes kissing. I also can’t bear light touching or tickling. Use heavy pressure, almost like you want to grab or pin me. And no light.”

Efe’s bed creaks as he sits up, pushing his blanket aside. This close, his leathery, musky sandalwood smell almost makes Darius forget about rodents. “Understood. Why no light?”

“I refuse to look down and see your smug grin.”

Thankfully, the touch of Darius’s hand on Efe’s hip soon quells his laughter.

[demonsonthemoon]

For day 3 of #AggressivelyArospectacular, I decided to let the Muses carry me and made this mini-zine in one afternoon. The idea came to me in a flash as I was about to fall asleep last night.

There's nothing explicit in this zine, but the subject matter is adult. Content warning for blood, which is the only element visually present. You can read it under the read more or download the print version here (to be printed on A4 paper).

I usually never cut and fold my master copies, but I wanted to be able to show that I did sew through the paper, use actual (period) blood and a real wax seal.

[demonsonthemoon]

I usually mostly share writing during #AggressivelyArospectacular, but this year I’ve been busy crafting new things to sell at various art markets I’ll take part in in December. This was a good opportunity to get to a project I’ve had for a while: making some patches out of jeans that have become too frayed to repair and wear.

I made those patches by cutting out a section of fabric from my jeans, making a border by going over several time with a zig-zag stitch on my sewing machine, and then adding embroidery, words painted with old nail polish or beads.

The “Lavender Witch” patch was made for a good friend of mine. Lavender Witch is the name of her feminist grunge band, and you can listen to their music on Bandcamp. The border effect was totally unintended and caused by poor quality thread.

The “Do It Together” and “Grow Hope” patches were made with a solarpunk ethos in mind. Solarpunk is an artistic genre and social movement that aims to bring about an ecological and socially-just society. This movement focuses on positive imaginings of the future and on acting as communities instead of individuals. Hence the message of these two patches!

I would also like to make some arospec and relationship anarchism-related patches at some point...

Do you have suggestions of other messages I should include?

[demonsonthemoon]

“Le spectre aromantique pour les nul·les » (Arospec 101 – French edition!)

In honor of #AggressivelyArospectacular, I spent last month motivating myself to finally translate my zine “Arospec 101” into French.

I wrote “Arospec 101” a few years ago during a 24 Hours Zine Thing. The goal of this zine was to serve as an introduction to the topic of aromanticism, and as a documentation of discussions happening around arospec-ness at the time.

The original, English version can still be downloaded for free here (and should then be printed on A4 paper, cut and folded). You can also reach out to me if you would like to buy or trade a paper copy.

In 2022, it was translated into Spanish by Esther (@waru-chan8). This version can be found here.

Last month, in 2024, I realized that there are still very few sources available in French about aromanticism. The few sources that do exist tend to focus on aro-ace discourses and leave behind the allosexual aromantic experiences (including mine.) Also, I’ve seen discourse emerging in France from people who are asexual and aromantic but who are totally detached (and mostly unaware) of the aromantic culture that has developed in English online.

Therefore, I wanted to share my experience and the things I learned in these same English-speaking online communities, for a French-speaking audience.

This whole project was also a reaction to an arophobic comment from a colleague of mine in an LGBTQIA+ organization, as well as to the general invisibilization of arospec issues even in an organization claiming to include the “A”. Considering I’m quitting that job next month (for unrelated reasons), I hope that leaving behind this zine will help my team remember that this “A” does not only stand for Asexuality…

I also took the opportunity of this translation work to update the contents of the zine a little bit. (For example, I added a section where I recount my experience of dating as an arospec person.) Should I make an updated version of the English version as well? Let me know if you think it’s necessary!

You can download the French version of this zine for free here.

Bisous 😘

[demonsonthemoon]

[demonsonthemoon]

Welcome (back) to #AggressivelyArospectacular!

#AggressivelyArospectacular is a week-long event promoting the creation of original content in arospec communities.

Are you arospec? Do you want to rave about your OCs? To share your poetry, your collages, your music? Do you make short-films or jewelry? Have you always dreamt of making a fashion lookbook? Or anything else? In short, do you create?

Because if so, this event is here for you!

From the 17th to the 23rd of November, submit any original creative content you want us to see by tagging it as #AggressivelyArospectacular (in the first five tags) or sending us a link through our submission box. Your work will then be shared on this blog for our community to enjoy.

Your work does not have to specifically focus on arospec experiences (but we always appreciate a content warning if your piece features romantic content.)

Please, note that this event focuses specifically on original content. If you want to share your fanart, fanfic or other kind of fancontent with us, kindly wait for our other event, #AggressivelyArospecWeek, which is held in June every year!

We encourage you to submit as many pieces in as many different mediums as you like! We would love to be able to spam other people’s dash with art for a whole week.

Let’s show the world how diverse and creative the arospec community is!

(For more information, check out our about page and FAQ section. You can find all the content submitted in previous editions in our #AggressivelyArospectacular tag.)

[demonsonthemoon]

transmisc. transmiscellaneous.

[demonsonthemoon]

Arospec headcanon: Daniela Velasquez from Sense8

I headcanon Dani as aromantic and allosexual. I have also always felt like the show failed to properly explore her character and how she forms relationships. So here is a very short exploration of that headcanon:

Dani clearly sees romantic attachment as leverage, something she can use. Of course, this fits well with her career in show-business, but she seems surprisingly happy to forego any romantic attachment once she settles into her friendship with Lito and Hernando. In the same way, she seems to be using her sexuality to navigate her relationships: she cheats on Joaquin as a way to try and escape their relationship, then immediately tries to have sex with Lito in order to cement their relationship and gain protection. There's some self-destructiveness in her behavior, but I also feel like this shows someone who feels in control of her sexuality, whereas she has a much harder time using the codes of romance to her advantage, even if she tries to.

I've always been sad that the development of her relationship with Lito and Hernando was never explicitally explored. I guess relationship negotiation doesn't make for good television? Still, there are some definite hints that they have a non-traditional friendship, which could be interpreted as a queerplatonic relationship. There's some ambiguity in the series about Dani's photos of Lito and Hernando, but I've always felt as though the two men weren't actually surprised at the existence of the photos, and only afraid of the risk of them being leaked. This makes me feel as though Dani's part in their sexuality (the way she watches and masturbates as they have sex), is something that's been acknowledged and accepted by the two men. They certainly make space for her in their domestic lives when they all move in together, in a way that goes way beyond just protecting Dani and all of their reputations.

I want to read Dani as allo-aro. I want to see her as someone who's been enduring what people have called “love” because she thought that was necessary to get what she wants (sex, safety, affection,...) I want to grieve for the way she's been traumatized by an abusive relationship, in which someone could call violence and obsession love and no one would correct him. I understand how, for someone like her, Lito and Hernando's relationship could be a safe heaven. Lito is someone who does not feel attracted to her, but who still acts caringly towards her and can offer her the protection she needs. More than that, Lito and Hernando's relationship is an example of truly caring love, one that can help her heal from her trauma but which – very importantly – doesn't need her to put her boundaries on the line to do so. She doesn't need to fall in love to learn that love can be kind. She doesn't need to fall in love ever, because she no longer needs a romantic relationship in order to not be alone. I think this reading is much kinder to the character, instead of the way the show brushes off her connection to Lito and Hernando as “gay fetishism” in the first season (while simultaneously also asserting that Hernando genuinely cares for her as a friend.)

In the end, headcanoning Dani as aro is important to me because she's not alone. Her relationship with Lito and Hernando goes against the narrative that it's normal for romantic love to isolate you (inside your closed off couple bubble), which leads to the idea that it's normal for arospec people to be left behind, to always be treated as second best. Instead, we see Hernando break off his relationship with Lito based on how the latter treats Dani. And I want every arospec people to get what Dani gets: relationships that are mutually supportive and which are open to intimacy even if they aren't romantic.

[demonsonthemoon]

Rating: G Word Count: 2.8k Stranger still, the flowers seemed under-developed. Late-stage Hanahaki – the phase that would inspire such desperation to consider surgery – was accompanied by full blossoms and bloodied petals, but the scattering of papers strewn across Miles’s desk indicated he had already lined up a surgery date. She gave her brother a pointed look. “It seems a bit early to resort to the operation.” “It’s better to do it sooner rather than later,” he said, eyes on the flower in her hand, not on her face. “Lower chances of complications during surgery.” Miles catches Hanahaki. It goes even worse than Franziska expected.

this marks the third year in a row I've done something involving Franziska for @aggressivelyarospec... not the worst tradition to have!

[demonsonthemoon]

Old Majestic Glass And Iron Entranceway, Bucharest, Romania

[demonsonthemoon]

elementary may have been copaganda but they were really onto something with their version of holmes he's autistic. he's a sub. he's canonically into bondage. he's a recovering addict. he keeps bees. he's tattooed AND hairy. his posture is insane. he texts in a near-undecipherable string of abbreviations and acronyms. he's the most irritating man in new york city. he's even aromantic

[demonsonthemoon]

A digital painting I made trying to mimic realistic paint textures without ever picking up a brush. I called it “Fuck This Shit I’m Out”

[demonsonthemoon]

is this your first time getting prepositioned online?

no people say all kinds of prepositions at me online

[demonsonthemoon]

Welcome to #AggressivelyArospecWeek!

If you've been following us for any of the past eight years, you probably know the drill. But if you're new, here is all you need to know about this very exciting time of the year:

#AggressivelyArospecWeek (#AAW) is a week-long event that promotes the creation of arospec fancontent by arospec creators.

By "fancontent", we mean anything from fanfic to fanart, to themed playlists, edits or even just headcanons. We are open to all fandoms!

By "arospec", we mean that creators should identify somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (or currently be questioning their potentially arospec identity). The content they create should also center a character's arospec identity, whether that character is canonically arospec or heacanonned as such.

This event is an opportunity for creators to explore their identities through fanwork within a supportive community. And it's also a perfect way for fans of all kinds (arospec or not) to enjoy art and have fun!

Join us from June 23 to June 29 2024 and enjoy a small explosion of arospec fancontent on your dash!

Please, take a second to share this post so your followers get to join in the fun as well 💚

To submit, please make a new post between June 23 and June 29 and tag it as #AggressivelyArospecWeek. You can also submit your work directly to our blog through the ask and submission boxes. Your post will then be shared on the Aggressively Arospec blog.

We also have an X account, so use the hashtags #AggressivelyArospecWeek and #AAW24 if you tweet about your work on there. You can also mention us in your tweet (@ AArospec) to be sure we don’t miss it and can retweet it. Please, do submit through tumblr if you can though! That is the best way to get your contribution archived with all the others.

Lastly, a collection will be opened on Archive of our Own to round up all the fanfics posted on there. Just search for “Aggressively Arospec Week ‘24″.

We can’t wait to see what you have in store for us this year!

(For more information, check out our About page or our FAQ section. If you need some inspiration, you can also check out the content that was created during out previous events in our #AggressivelyArospecWeek tag.)

[demonsonthemoon]

“There is a thin semantic line separating weird and beautiful. And that line is covered in jellyfish. Welcome to Night Vale.”

[demonsonthemoon]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱