#and I want to cry so badly

[cottoncandywhispers]

"i hear your voice every time that i think i'm not enough and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream. how could anybody do the things you did so easily? and i say i don't care, i say that i'm fine, but you know i can't let it go, i've tried, i've tried, i've tried for so long...it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong" - the grudge by olivia rodrigo // the last of us

[vastpotato]

Can you imagine jon/Martin finding out about tma and getting to see the fandom and how thousands of people love their tragic story and love them despite it all.

Like Jonathan sims, who ended the world. Who is so crippled with guilt and self loathing. Sees how many people love him and have written ESSAYS about how it wasn’t his fault. Jon who isn’t human anymore but clings to it with every ounce of strength, finding out that there’s an entire fandom who loves him even (especially) as a monster, who celebrate and draw him with as many eyes as possible. Jon finding out that thousands of people love him even with all his sins.

Martin, who’s been alone his entire life. Who doesn’t think he’s worth worrying over. Finding out how many people would die just to get a cuppa from him. Him finding out that the entirety of the fandom just wants to experience a Martin hug. That there’s an entire fandom of people who think he deserves so much happiness and friends and love. Martin who gets to see people realize how clever and intelligent he actually is, who credit him where credit is due and then some.

Just them finding out that thousands have heard their story and flaws and love them

[casdeans-pie]

I wanted to do something special for my Cas op - since I was imagining this would probably be my only chance to get one - and I really got it

The eye contact alone had me fighting for my life, but I was shaking a whole bunch and he squeezed my hands as I went to walk away ❤️

His eyes are so blue and his expression was so kind. And his hands are so big!!! Mine have completely disappeared lmao. Truly lovely man

[cutebat]

POV: The batkids have been trying to find baby batgirl for nearly an hour before one of them goes into Bruce's bedroom and finds this.

[lesbikill]

being so honest right now heathertail should’ve taken every plotline given to harestar and then built on them & it’s a disservice to the po3-oots arcs that she didn’t. she has a disregard for the parts of the code she disagrees with, and she’s been turned away by a member of the three as a result, first with compassion but then viciously, with him swearing her as his enemy and threatening her straight after nearly murdering her mentor. he comes close to killing her and the book tells us she *knows* it.

seeing the dark forest pick up on this rivalry, on the way she’s been unfairly treated by lionblaze, and taking advantage of it would have been really interesting. it would have given way more set-up to her relationship with breezepelt and given her more agency in it then being the wife who fixes him later on. it would’ve given her an arc of her own. it would have given her a long-lasting and present relationship with lionblaze, making his chapters significantly stronger. seeing this rebellious little apprentice go from a friendly presence to a serious threat created by the flaws of the main character & the clan system would be fun.

and then eventually, after lionblaze has lost his powers and is struggling, we would see heathertail grow behind the scenes and eventually ascend to leadership of windclan. maybe they would reconcile, maybe they would remain a bitter reminder to each other of the past and what could have been, of childhood friendship tarnished with clan patriotism and needless violence. who knows. but id love to read about it.

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[revenantghost]

HOLY SWEET SPACE COWBOY JESUS

[willyhoos]

metamy is insane. like.

what if i was the hero you loved gone wrong. defeated and destroyed. rebuilt as my own greatest enemy. what if i lost everything. what if i had been reprogrammed to despise all i had once fought for. what if i couldn't even remember why i had fought at all.

and what if you were made of roses. what if you represented every beautiful thing i once died trying to protect. what if you wore flowers in your hair and cared for small creatures and had eyes the color of the forests i used to call my home. what if you were everything i once loved.

those memories are just out of my reach. infuriatingly. maddeningly. but if anyone knows who i am (who i used to be) it's you. if anyone can make me feel like who i used to be (who i really am) it's you. i can't speak, i can't breathe, i can't remember anything (but you).

you are the world i have been ordered to burn. i am the weapon you have chosen to resist. i was (am) the hero that you loved.

you are my only memory. i will do anything to make you believe me.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[crustyfloor]

This scene of Till innocently peaceful with such a big smile feels incomplete to me after the events of round 7--But more true to his character rather than a comic with his final thoughts like Sua and Ivan had, it's cruel, brief, like a flashback, and it's bittersweet. Till is probably going to be reserved and ambiguous till the end. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to think about and reflect on his regrets and traumas; that's Till's principle; living in stubborn, childish beliefs, and in those truths, he finds escape into solace, even if it's unlike his reality, it's how he copes enough to make everything bearable for the next day to come. This image feels like a reflection, a memory of when he was happier in life. In Till's final moments, he thought about his and Mizi's childhood, the moment he fell in love with her was when she smiled at him with such radiance, the same moment, he felt like his heart was reborn; it was like he could breathe and smile solely for her. Till thinks back to these moments, these fleeting moments of peace because he can't let them go, he can't let go of the comfort of that familiarity.

--"Oh in a blink Gone. Blink and Gone, relish the present."

This image does bring me back to a lot of lyrics in Round 7. But this one in particular, a line that talks about living in the present before the moment slips between your fingers, in a blink, gone. But Till lives in the past.

Till doesn't think back to round 1 when he killed that alien guitar for Mizi, even though it was fully his decision, even though it was so gratifying seeing "Till win" and Mizi's acknowledgment, do you think he would have done that if he wasn't desperate and just doing what he felt like he had to do to survive? Because he had to stay by Mizi's side in her darkest moment like she was the one beacon of hope and happiness for him?

Till only suffers when he thinks back to round 6. When he's reminded of regret and pain. So, he represses the very memory of it to protect himself, he can't bring himself to even acknowledge it at all until he's forced to, when the aliens were intimidating him with Mizi's missing poster, he fights back out of anger. Just having that weakness, his guilt, and his grief used against him feels like a different kind of collar. Till thinks back to these warm, intangible memories of his childhood because life on stage was never something he could make his own, he didn't want to live for anything Alien Stage offered him, power, fame, etc. Despite his passion for music, Till is gentle and emotional at heart. This throne that is elevated high by bloodied corpses, a life living stagnant and trapped under the suffocating palm of an Alien, at the very top but inexplicably expendable, was never Till's vision of a life worth living. That's why he fought like hell for the life he wanted, for the life that he could've had. It really drives the point home when his final thoughts were centered around those moments when he was the happiest in his life.

It is so hard to feel the beauty, the warmth, in this image when everything around him is inauthentic, and it's off-putting because of the underlying details, especially since because of his gown, this scene might have taken place after one of those experiments or 'classes' it's a very subtle reminder of their reality. But his smile is so real in the moment without the collar, without the pain... he looks so carefree and full of life

And he scrunches his nose when he laughs *gets shot*

[fischiee]

something that really gets me is that we see so much of york being wholeheartedly dedicated to carolina

we see him staying up late to watch over her, following her orders to a tee, not leaving her side when she’s in a coma, coming back for her and rooting for her even when she loses

AND YET his choice ISNT to stay with her!! he’s such an interesting character bc from that choice alone - to not only turn against her but ask her to change her ways - we see how he truly believed in carolina and believes that she is good. we see so little of him outside of the context of carolina and yet we know so much about him from actions like this!! york wants to be good and to do right, and he will make sacrifices for that, even if the bridges he has to burn in order to do so haunt him forever

[diabolicjoy]

something about the way a parent can destroy something you made (or own), and then feel so bashful about it that they avoid making a big deal out of it. am i supposed to say that it’s ok and not cry…

[fung-fungus]

the way jack is like “he’s fine” when will, sick as a dog, shot a man outside of alana’s house at ass o’ clock is ASTOUNDING

like ik jack’s always terrible and overworks will but why does it take hannibal urging jack to do something?

why did no one but hannibal notice will was sick and not doing well AND did something about it?

ik it’s an obvious running theme about the ablism in how people besides hannibal treat will (yes even beverly) but god every time i find a new instance of it or a new angle i fly in to rage

[teddybeartoji]

fem!reader

walking through the door, his eyes immediately start scanning the crowd in search of you. suguru mumbles something about getting drinks and wanders off, leaving bf!gojo to his mission. and then he hears it. his ears perk up at his own personal favourite sound - your laughter. it bounces off the walls, muting every other sound in the room and it makes the corners of his lips twitch upward. god, he can't wait to see you.

and finally.

there you are.

a group of people step aside just in time and it's like something out of a movie. everything is in slow motion and everyone in the background blurs, all except for you. you're facing a friend of yours, not noticing your beloved boyfriend almost having a heart attack, before said friend nudges you toward him. turning around, you greet him with the biggest smile.

satoru feels his heart explode. he's standing there like a fish out of water, his mouth hanging ajar. you look like an angel. the lights are hitting you perfectly, making it seem like you're the only person in the room. finally regaining consciousness over his body, his hand flies to his chest with a big sigh, making you giggle. excusing yourself, you start making your way over to him and his eyes almost pop out of his head. it's like he's seeing you for the first time again.

he keeps his hand over his heart, trying to make sure it stands in it's place and he seems to be speechless. that's a first. there just aren't words good enough to describe you. sure, he can keep calling you his angel but in reality that just won't suffice. he needs to start making up new words for the love of his life. a whole new language just meant for you.

when you're just about two steps away, satoru releases another deep sigh, letting his eyes close and head hang back. you're killing him. you really are. he lolls his head to the side as he looks at you with his one opened eye. if he were to look at you with both of them, his heart would surely give out then and there.

now stood in front of him, with an unwavering smile, you beam at him and his dramatic antics. raising a hand, you brush a stray white hair from in front of his eyes, fingertips gently brushing over his cheek - a pinkish hue now embellishing his face.

satoru stares down at you and all he can think is how fast could he get a wedding ring? is there a store nearby? would it be open at this hour? how silly would it be if he just dropped down to his knee right now? would you say ye--

"you're drooling." you say with a giggle. you're trying to remain cool and calm and collected but in reality, his reaction is making you sick; the butterflies in your stomach are about to burst out of you and you can feel your ears burning. god, you hope he doesn't notice.

he does. how could he not. he's now extremely focused on your current state, how even though you try to keep your eyes on him, they seem to keep flickering down to your fidgety fingers. how even though, a big grin adorns your face, a deep blush creeps up your skin - a hint of shyness poking through.

"a-am not." he nevertheless wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling. he takes your small hand into his big one and urges you to do a spin for him. "c'mon, show me."

laughing, you do as he says. still holding onto his hand, you do a full 360 and demonstrate your outfit, making him groan and grasp at his heart once more. do you know what you're doing to him?

"you are ridiculous." he is truly the most dramatic person you know.

"you are the most beautiful girl on the planet." but also the sweetest.

your eyes soften while his are filled with pure admiration. you are the one for him. a comfortable silence falls between you, gazes and fingers locked together. bound together. it's just the two of you in this crowded room.

"thank you." it comes out as a whisper. "you look so handsome." you raise your free hand to trace over his tie and up and over his shirt collar. you can smell his cologne, it's the one you gifted him last year and it warms your heart.

he leans down to your ear and whispers back. "i think i'm having a heart attack."

"you- wait, what?" you pull back at his serious tone but you're still met with just a stupid smirk. "that's not funny, satoru. heart attacks are a serious topic."

"and i am so serious, baby. dead serious." he places your palm over his heart and you feel it strongly thumping in it's cage. "told you."

"maybe it's trying to escape, have you considered that? maybe it's fed up with your antics, hm?" you tease.

"well, maybe it's making it's way over to you, to crawl into your chest, have you considered that? maybe it just wants to stay with you forever, hm?" he quips back.

you flutter your eyelashes at him, trying to find the words to show how much you really truly appreciate him and his silly words. so you take his other hand and bring it to your chest, where he meets your very own pounding heart.

"hm, maybe we should exhange them? you know... maybe they'll calm down?" and it's the seriousness in your voice that really gets him. satoru feels himself turning into putty. it's like he's melting away. you and your touch and your words and your heart - it's all too much for him. his mind goes back to that proposal scenario. he wants you to be his and him to be yours. he does want to exhange hearts.

he leans down to press a chaste kiss on your nose. "i love you." he has said it before but he doesn't tire of it. you need to know.

pressing a kiss on your cheek. "i love you." he says it again. his affection is making laughter bubble in your throat and you don't want this moment to end.

another one on your other cheek. "i love you."

and finally, he presses his soft lips to yours, hands still holding each other's hearts. "wan' to have your heart and wan' you to have mine." he mutters against you.

another silent giggle escapes your lips and falls straight into his mouth. he swallows it proudly. "promise?"

"promise."

[glassofpumpkinjuice]

west coast smoker live debut... i know i say this a lot but i am so jealous. (7/30/23)

[mehkers]

Just another date on a calendar

Back with another hc~!

This time it’s the bro’s and a Mc who’s celebrating a deceased person’s birthday whom they were close with.

Except that Mc is literally me.

It’s mostly self indulgent, since today’s my grandpa’s birthday.

Warnings: talk of death, birthday celebration of a deceased person, trigger warning for anyone who’s having a really tough time healing from the death of someone close to you? Idk, gn!reader, not proofread

I originally wrote this in second person but switched to first person, so if you find some odd words that may be it.

It ain’t too heavy; angst with comfort

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beel was quite happy today. I took them all out on an impromptu trip to the human realm (after a lot of begging), and am treating them to dinner.

It was a nice restaurant. Not too fancy, but not fast food casual. I was sitting outside in the patio, enjoying the warm night with the brothers and the delicious food. The ambiance was quite calm, everyone settling into an idle chatter has they munched on the appetizers.

“��ey. Hey. Hey!” Mammon waved his hand in front of my face and pulled my attention back to him. I accidentally zoned out for the trillionth time this night, and now there is 7 very concerned demons looking at me.

“Sorry, don’t mind me. All is well!” I tried to reassure them, hoping it might quell their concerns. It did not.

“That’s the 10th time you’ve said something of the same variant, after zoning out .” Satan spoke up, his brows furrowed as if he’s trying to figure out the killer in a detective novel. I could feel those electric green eyes piercing through my mind and body, trying to decipher what’s actually going on.

Asmo let out an dramatically sad exhale, and wrapped his arms around my body. “Is my baby tired? Oh my! It is indeed quite past your bed time.”

The brothers, especially Lucifer, loved to treat you like a child at times. Asmo once pointed out your eye bags during breakfast, and now Lucifer has implemented a curfew for everyone. No one actually follows it, but they forced me to do so.

“Mmmm, zzz..” Belphie was out like a light as usual and Beel was eating out of his plate after finishing his portion.

“We can go back to the hotel to rest, if you wish. I don’t see the point in staying up later than you’re used to if you’re not feeling well because of it.” The eldest’s voice spreads over the table. Some of the brothers are pouty about leaving so soon, some are glad to leave, and the rest just couldn’t care less.

“N-No! It’s an important day, I can’t..” I trailed off. Now you have the attention of all the brothers, even Belphie bothered to open one eye. “A close one of mine died some time ago, and today is their birthday.”

I felt their eyes on me, widening at the new information. That was not what they were expecting, but it’s nothing new to them. They all knew how hard it was to lose a loved one, so they could all sympathize.

I was surprised when Levi reached out first, holding my hand in his sweaty palms as he looked away from across the table. “Please.. don’t cry.” He murmured.

I chuckled softly, pulling up a soft smile and shaking my head. “Don’t worry, it happens. Death reaches everyone. At least I get an excuse to party!” I pumped my fists in the air in a futile attempt at being enthusiastic. I couldn’t hide the tears welling up in my eyes, so I picked up my drink, lemonade with some masala mixed in it, and kept myself busy. I didn’t even like it, but I needed it to not cry.

I sighed softly when they started to chat again, glad they left it at that. I felt their concerned eyes travel over me time to time, and their attempts at including me into their conversation failed for the most part.

“Do you think… I could see them again?”

Lucifer looked up first, knowing what you meant. “Ah.. Well, the chances are higher that he became a spirit. Spirits tend to go wherever they like, so it’s hard to track one down. And if you do manage to do so, you’ll find them as a shiny orb.”

I nodded my head slowly.

“I would suggest a resurrection spell, but that’s highly dangerous. I’m sure Solomon would avoid such spells as well.” Satan included, placing his knife down.

“No, no that’s fine.” I muttered, then smiled. “Thanks either ways.”

“Look.. Ya can cry if you want.” Mammon’s voice rang softly from the right side of me, his eyes watching me carefully and with a certain gentleness that he’d deny if being called out on.

“You know, the day Lilith died was when we fell.” The gruff voice of the 6th born started, some chewing sounds followed behind. “No matter how much I ate, I couldn’t fill that empty hole. But when you came.. I feel a lot more full! You’re like.. worth more than a thousand Human World cheeseburgers.”

Belphie lifted his head, interrupting his twin. “What Beel is trying to say is that we’re always ready to help, like how you helped us.”

“Ya! Yer always taking so much on yourself, don’tcha get tired anytime?”

“It is a wise option to rest, considering the mental strain you might be going through.”

“Omg! A spa day always helps me! You should join me <3”

Their voices slowly drowned out, and all I could hear is the loud beating of my heart ramping it up in my eardrums. My grip around Levi’s hand tightened, and I lifted my other hand off my lap and around my face. Long withheld tears rolled down my voice silently. Mammon’s arms swaddled me quickly, pulling my face to his chest. Everyone else slowly huddled around me, leaving Lucifer in his spot watching the rest of them. He didn’t know what to do, so he left it to his brothers this time. He’ll get his chance once they decide to call it a night and head back to the grandiose hotel.

I took a couple deep breaths. “Alright, thanks guys. You can let go of me.” I smiled softly, wiping my eyes.

They reluctantly let go, only Mammon kept a comforting arm over my slightly slumped shoulders.

The night went by more smoothly. Well, as smoothly as it can go with seven over protective demons and one emotional human.