#and I admire people who change their themes so often

[leviiackrman]

Important question y’all: do I keep my current header/theme of the white and yellow or do I do make my header all my ocs but in black and yellow…? HELP

[hasnomoxxie]

Could you tell us more about Dan from Levity Rises?

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME AB LEVITY RISES

I recently updated the designs for them so I'll talk ab them all if you don't mind :]c

I'll add the most information on Dan though just for you bbg!

I do plan on making a few screenshot redraws (and potentially an intro animatic because an awesome person actually made a theme for this au)

THE MYSTERY TWINS ⇆ THE ORIGINAL MYSTERY TWINS

Stanley and Stanford Pines take on the roles of Dipper and Mabel! Stan's curious and is the more mystery focussed one whereas Ford is more energetic and active than his base counterpart.

Stanley is an adventurous young boy, looking for the next interesting trip to go on, initially thinking spending the summer at Levity Rises was going to be a waste of time. Though after arriving and finding the scrapbooks alongside the anomalies happening across Levity, he and his brother quickly became obsessed with finding out the secrets of the Rises, as well as who the mysterious Smile Pup(swapped with bill cypher) is.

Ford (often going by 'Six' or 'Sixer) is a happy go lucky and optimistic young child who is alot tougher than his base counterpart was at his age. Since it's typically only just been him and his brother, so he's eager to make the best of his summer by meeting new people, though he hides his polydactyly with gloves he changes frequently.

DIPPER ⇆ STANLEY

Dipper takes the role of Grunkle Stan in this au!

Owner of the mystery shack, Grunkle Mason- or (Big) Dipper to people around Levity Rises- is the resident faux scientist of the town. His personality is more eccentric, tending to get hyper fixated on paranormal paraphernalia, to the point in where he does lock himself away for periods at a time.

Not much is known about his origins, he just kind of always existed on the outsidea of the town, but after opening the shack to the public, people quickly accepted his presence due to his quirky personality.

MANLY DAN ⇆ SOOS

Dan actually takes the role of Soos in this au, being the resident handyman of the mystery shack! Though often the lines blur between his role and Wendy's from the original. Wanted to keep it flexible yk?

Dan's a real dude's bro, pretty dim witted and blunt but often chill and level headed- Unless he's challenged- dude's competitive as hell, it's actually crazy. His mother, dubbed 'womanly wendy', is the toughest lady in town, owning a diner, aptly named 'Wendy's'.

Dan enjoys working at the Shack as it's one of the few places that'll let him freely experiment with his logging with the nearby trees for his own projects and adding fixtures onto the shack, which Dipper is pretty thankful for since he can focus his efforts on other things. It's also because of this reason that Dipper puts up with Dan's outbursts and semi airheaded personality. So it's safe to say, he's there the majority of the time.

Stan admires Danny alot and the events of 'Into the bunker' happens with Dan in place of Wendy. This does mean Stan had a passing crush on Danny during the episode, but even afterwards Stan kind of puts him on a pedestal. Ford enjoys Dan's company often being called 'little man' and playfighting on occasion. The twins act like his little hype men and he enjoys hanging with them.

As for Soos in this au, he initially built the mystery shack and is frequently seen around Levity Rises taking on odd jobs and making people as happy as they can be, though it's implied that he hasn't found his true calling yet.

LAZY SUZAN ⇆ WENDY

Lazy Suzan takes the role of Wendy in this au! Hazy Jane is a part time worker at the mystery shack, and is stan's first crush upon arrival to the Rises. She's a bit of an odd soul with a less than perfect memory, but is incredible at making a homely environment for the shack. Despite that, she can be extremely co-dependent in some situations, especially with her boyfriend. Otherwise she's earnest and does her best at her job. The events of 'Soos and the real girl' occur with Jane instead of Soos (and Rumble instead of GIFanny). Despite wanting to help, Stan is incredibly pouty throughout the episode.

Here's the design line up as well as initial notes I made when redoing them!

Hope this answered your question about Dan :]

RAUGH THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING THOUGHHHHHH

(EDIT)

SOMEONE SUGGESTED A BETTER SWAP FOR BILL, I JUST HAD TO ADD IT!

(EDIT EDIT)

I'm fixing wording and stuff so it's easier to read soz :p

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: Can I have headcanons about a reader who is much older? I mean, she is older, smarter, wiser, stronger although she looks young for her age. During her long life, she has experienced a lot of terrible things and therefore cannot tolerate injustice. She is not a hero who wants to change the world, but she will not offend the weak. She has such a specific aura of a mother that you involuntarily go to her for advice (and she gives it) When the character talks about his age, she just smiles and thinks, “he’s still just a child.” Featuring Chrollo, Shalnark, Dazai, Deidara, Kurapika, Pouf, Gojo

This is to be read in a platonic context.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, isolation

Tags: @swagenemyartisan @cachamata @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @hyakki-yosai @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59 @shumidehiro @izanami78

You're still just a child

Deidara

💥​Deidara truly is a walking talking contradiction. On the one hand he often complains to you that he doesn't want to be treated like a child yet as soon as he is even slightly upset or offended by something or someone he comes running to you with a big pout on his face. Despite everything at heart he remains an attention-seeker after all who would hate to witness you paying attention to someone else. He is truly a breathing manchild though as his temper really reminds you of the bratty attitude of a child. It is so easy to make him jealous to the point where he has actually threatened to bomb the people who elicited such ugly emotions out of him only to be scolded and afterwards receiving the cold shoulder from you, something that causes him to actually tear up. As much as he complains about not wanting to be treated like a child, Deidara still insists for you to brush his hair and tie it in the morning whenever he stays the night. He's always without a fail complaining to you about Sasori and their constant arguments about what the true definition of art is, wanting you to take his side of the argument. On every special celebration possible he prepares a firework for you.

Kurapika Kurta

⛓️​Kurapika is going to go into this a lot more skeptical. It's alright to have friends who are not part of his clan but going as far as to see someone as a mother is testing his loyalty to his clan as Kurapika is painfully aware that you aren't his biological parent. He often shies away from your attention and rejects your help as the feeling of betraying his own clan gnaws at his soul. Still he finds himself subconsciously seeking you out whenever he experiences an emotional tumult, already knowing deep down that you can soothe his overflowing rage. He starts getting quite selfish the more he gets attached to you as he attempts to isolate you more from others. After all it is not uncommon for people to admire you for your strength and your youthful looks despite your age and such people always put him on edge. You are by all means far from naive yet his distrust often outweights his rationality. You never fail to notice his brooding emotions and always put a calming hand on his shoulder, emotionally and literally holding him back. You have never attempted to take the morally high ground when you found out about his desire for revenge, never belittled him and it allows him to express his pain freely to you.

Chrollo Lucilfer

📖​Intrigue is always the emotion that will serve as the bait to gain Chrollo's attention and it truly is no different in this scenario. You see, Chrollo has always been rather sophisticated with a unique philosophy and he loves having long discussions with you about humanity and all their rights and wrongs. You're neither driven by revenge nor are you someone who sees herself as a hero who has to stop him. Instead you listen to him with that gentle look on your face and it only serves as fuel to Chrollo's curiosity as he rarely witnesses such composure. However, he is not quite sure how he should feel about the way you view him as still a child. Sure, you may be older than him but throughout his life Chrollo has learnt that even adults reverted back to crying babies when he confronted them and promised them death. The concept of a mother is something neither he nor any of the other members of the Phantom Troupe have experienced, the strange warmth within his heart a sensation so unfamiliar that it feels alien. Still, he supposes that it's quite nice. I feel like in this specific dynamic he would actually refrain from stealing your Nen-ability simply because he genuinely respects you.

Shalnark

📱​Usually his sweet smiles are very deceiving but they are always genuine whenever he visits you. Whilst Shalnark harbored some distrust against you during the beginning as years of being a thief and criminal have given him direct exposure to the ugliness of humans he has learnt to realise that you aren't like common people. You have had your own share of struggles and injustice and it is a topic he learns to bond over with you as well as learning to respect you for your physical and mental strength as a consequence of your past. Indeed, the two of you may appear like a mother and her sweet son spending time together yet there is always a sinister motive that lies hidden. Shalnark always pays you a visit after a successful mission the Phantom Troupe committed as it is a nice change of pacing. Initially he brings you souvenirs as a gift, most of them stolen objects from the robbery. It becomes quickly clear though that you do not appreciate such presents, especially if the blood of innocents sticks to them like invisible karma. If you should have difficulties regarding technology and electronical devices Shalnark is always there to help you and fix stuff for you.

Shaiapouf

🎻​Shaiapouf gives you intense hatred after you pick him up from the palace where he almost died, blames your kind for the death of his beloved king and heavily blames himself for not having done more. You should have saved the king and not this unworthy and incapable servant. He only complies begrudgingly because you are stronger than he is and his animal genes accept the natural order of the food chain where you stand above him. Born to serve and born to help his majesty to receive greatness, perhaps it is this desperate wish that slowly leads him to push his ideals on you. He notices the spark of potential, starts clinging to the attention and care you give him as he receives a taste of what it must feel like to have a nurturing mother. Shaiapouf hatched already as an adult who knew of his purpose and already possessed great levels of intelligence yet the more love he receives the more he starts reminding you of a child. Still dedicated to serve and protect yet also constantly seeking approval and damning everyone who may even attempt to date you. It is somewhat endearing though, especially if he splits himself and you have multiple mini hims clinging to you.

Dazai Osamu

🤎​You indeed ended up picking up a stray dog with several issues after stopping him from trying one of his many attempts to die. Dazai keeps up his initial antics as he asks you if you would like to join him, quickly shoot him down by revealing your age which elicits one of his theatrical reactions out of him. The truth is that Dazai never had loving parents and much less a mother who nurtured him and cared for him and even if he would have had one he doubts she would have been able to love him for the monster he used to be and partially still is. It is this inexperience that startles him when he receives tastes of it from you. It is a sensation akin to being submerged in scathing hot water, his mind torn apart between pain and a strange comfort that urges him to drown even deeper. What frightens him even more is your willingness to listen to him in order to understand him better, something he has never received before as most people have just learned to live with his antics and brush them off when he lets them out. Pain makes someone wiser and that applies perfectly to you and Dazai can't help himself but seek you out for advice, searches for the answer of what he was made for by seeking out you.

Gojo Satoru

🩵​You've known Gojo since he entered Jujutsu High, actually decided to tutor him despite having retired after the world failed you. Partially you see yourself in this young boy and it is this urge to teach him to not repeat mistakes of the past that leads you to take him in, officially becoming his first teacher as he was only ever taught the basics by his own family. You seek out the boy underneath those blue eyes on a personal level no one has ever bothered to get to know him on. What makes Gojo Satoru Gojo Satoru? So used to being treated like a valuable weapon than someone's son it is almost sickening for a while for Satoru and even though he attempts to hide it beneath that careless grin you sense his distress and help him to work through it. After Suguru chose a path of hatred to walk on you are the only person Satoru still has left and on that day he breaks down in tears for the first time and clings to you like a weeping child in need of his mother's love and comfort. He completely turns his back on his biological parents, even coldly states to them one time that he only has one mother which is you. The only approval that matters is yours, the only attention he needs is yours.

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jijidraws

Jiji Knight is a latina pinup illustrator. Her work is overall geared toward thick ladies and dedicated to fat positivity out of a purely selfish need to create art she wished she had seen growing up. She often features sexy and soft macabre themes on vibrant or sweet colours and takes great joy in making folx feel good about themselves with her work. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration and operates out of her very sunny hometown of Las Vegas.

Check out our interview with Jiji below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh my gosh… I have art blocks all the time. My favorite way of overcoming it is by making fanart. Funnily enough, that’s something I don’t do in my own work anymore. But there are still IPs I return to that still bring joy to my heart. I love returning to drawing Sailor Moon like when I was in first grade. Or I’ll even look up the last fashion week and start drawing the fashion week outfits from the Paris or New York show. Stuff like that is what gets my creative juices flowing.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Resin. Resin art is so stunning. People make the most amazing and beautiful sculptures using resin, and I don’t think I could ever bring myself to play with something so complicated. There are a lot of ways to cure it, and sometimes, it doesn’t cure properly…I already work with enough chaos as it is! I respect resin artists, but I don’t think I would ever touch it. I’ve admired it from a distance. There is an artist I follow who does these resin layer paintings. So they’ll paint a layer of resin, then cure it, and paint on top of the cured layer. They build up these amazing paintings using resin…I could never. Maybe one day!

What is one interaction you had with a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I still remember…It was my first and only Flame Con in New York. I had a fan come up to my booth. They didn’t say hello or that it was nice to meet me. They started to cry! They cried, and the first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve never seen myself in artwork before.” So, of course, I started to cry! So we were just crying across the table at each other. It was just one of the sweetest interactions, and it really sticks with me still to this day.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

My latest collaboration with the artist Missupacey. We’ve been collaborating for two years now, and our last collaboration was for Midsummer Scream. It was two very cute clown girls, and I designed our T-shirt. It was one of the most fun projects we’ve done in a long time. We love doing collaborative work because it keeps working in the art industry fresh—being able to bounce ideas back and forth. So we do it where someone picks the color palette, and someone picks a theme. We’ll get references together, put them on a big board, and send each other sketches. It’s really nice to work with somebody else.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Honestly, it changed everything. I mean, I used to draw for myself a lot. And while I still do that, I now predominantly draw for my Patrons. For a while, I was drawing for the internet. So I was drawing stuff people wanted to see in terms of plus-sized versions of characters—a plus-sized Poison Ivy or a plus-sized Sailor Moon. My Patrons have allowed me to start drawing for myself again. But technology, for a while, essentially dominated what direction I was taking with my art, so I’m grateful to take some of that power back.

If there is one thing that you want art enthusiasts to remember you by, what would it be?

Body positivity. I would love for them to remember that there is an artist making work that is making people feel good about themselves and about the way they look at themselves.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Have a method of taking money, have a method of displaying your work, and have a way to take a break. I have a plastic picnic cover that costs like a dollar at any store. All I have to do is clip it to my display grates, and it covers up my entire display. I feel secure enough to take time for myself in a 10-hour workday to eat something, go to the restroom, or even take a moment to breathe and reorganize my inventory. So it’s so funny that this one-dollar piece of plastic is like the most life-saving item in my display of items.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@mayakern comes to mind. She is another body-positive artist who expanded into making body-positive clothing. She’s amazing, and just to see someone else out there promoting body positivity. Maya’s been doing it longer than I have, I believe. It feels good to know that I’m not alone. Her work is always stunning, and I love her body-positive DnD characters and the fact that she’s still plowing through the clothing industry. For example, she’s expanded from skirts to button-downs and even custom-wrap shirts. I love to see what she’s doing, and it inspires me to pursue different avenues with my own work.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Jiji! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jijidraws.

[oceane4loveu]

𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧. ݁₊ ⊹ ✩

Heyyyyy starfish! So now we're going to talk about how to create an alter ego and how it can be beneficial.

What is an alter ego?

Expression borrowed from Latin. A second self. A person to whom one grants absolute confidence and who is charged with acting in one's place. We also say colloquially: It's my alter ego, It's another me. So the alter ego is just another version of us that helps us reach a goal, some celebrities also use alter egos to evolve in their lives:

Beyoncé- Sasha Fierce: Beyoncé created the alter ego Sasha Fierce to express a bolder and more confident version of herself on stage.

Nicki Minaj- Roman Zolanski: Nicki Minaj has several alter egos, including Roman Zolanski, an eccentric and provocative character who represents a wilder side of her personality.

Lady Gaga- Jo Calderone: Lady Gaga has portrayed Jo Calderone, a male character, in some performances, exploring themes of gender fluidity and identity.

Now it's time to define the why. The why: the purpose of the alter ego, why I create it. Is it to leave weaknesses, adopt personality traits, etc. IT MUST BE STRONG, THAT'S WHAT KEEPS YOU CONSISTENT.

Then choose New traits. Things I miss or struggle with. Personality, values, hobbies. Why I admire certain people. understand every little insignificant detail of my alter ego. How would he act in a stressful situation. How does he approach his career, his dating. What is his state of mind in a romantic relationship. How does he act if he feels mistreated and angry. How would he act if he fell in love. How would he fix a bad day, what does a good day look like for him. If he speaks in public, how does he approach it? Funny, serious, is there any preparation, freestyle. Here are some steps to help you (I do them to create my alter ego)

1.MYSELF

My aura

My mindset

My confidence

My personality traits

What do I look like?

What do I dress like?

2.MONEY

How financial abundant I am?

Where do I invest my money?

What kind of things do I splurge on?

How do I save my money?

What does my money get me? Is it the freedom of time, is it luxury goods, is it travel...?

How do I get this money?

How do I make it work for me?

3. CAREER AND OPPORTUNITIES

What do I want my job to look like?

How often do I work?

Am I my own boss or do I work for someone else?

In what industry do I work?

What is my work / life balance like?

What does my office (workplace) look like?

What city am I working in?

Do I want to be around celebrities / in front of a camera / do something creative / fly over the world / win awards for what I do / be able to retire early, etc?

4. FRIENDS AND FAMILY

How is my relationships with my family?

How often do I see them?

How many effort do I put in them?

Can I treat them all the time?

How is my relationships with my family?

How often do I see them?

How are my friends like?

5. ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

How am I treated in my romantic relationship?

How do I feel loved?

What love language am I receiving?

What me and my partner do?

How do we spend time together?

Do we move in?

Do we get married?

Do we have kids?

What do our dates look like?

What do I do for them?

What is our dynamic?

6. HOUSE / LIVING

The city that I live in

What does my house / apartment look like?

What does it feel like?

What do I gain from it? Is it sense of escape?

How many room do I have in it?

How is my closet?

How many bathroom do I have?

What it is a special things I have in my house / apartment?

7. HOBBIES AND HAPPINESS

How do I add fulfillment into my life on an everyday basis?

What are my hobbies?

What are my routines?

8. pleasure

How do I spend my weekends? How do they look like? Is it cozy at home, traveling the world, partying with my friends, etc?

What do I eat?

What kind of exercises do I do?

Choose your avatar: how your alter ego appears. Give a different name, change appearance, hairstyle, makeup, clothes.

Values ​​and core identity. Think about their story. What is important to them. Where do they want to go in life. What they are not as interested in. Preferences, strengths, what motivates them. What has been their story so far. Maybe they have always been successful, have good memories. Very good athlete, A+ student, etc.

The When. When to bring out the alter ego. At university, at work, in meetings or every day. For this part here are some methods that can help you bring out your alter ego:

"HOT ME METHOD"

- "What would a hot me do?"

- don't idolize your alter ego, it's not better than you.

- If necessary, the alter ego can have a set time and date (turn it off after the necessary time has passed)

- Practice:

- How does the sexy version of yourself walk, talk, and dress?

- Values? Habits? similar to the "steps"

- what bold moves have you been wanting to try? - This method is not just about appearance, it is more about changing your mindset and actions

- Implementing habits, developing skills and intelligence, being able to speak with confidence

- NOT a subliminal that maximizes appearance, NOT forcing parts you feel uncomfortable with (wearing a crop top, pleasing people, etc.)

"BUILD YOUR SELF-CONCEPT"

- Self-Concept (SC) = how we see ourselves (REALLY believe about ourselves, not what we say)

- "I am blessed/cursed", "My opinions matter/don't matter to people", "I am lucky/unlucky", etc.

- Alter ego can help expand what you think you deserve/what is normal for you

- Consciousness = perception = reality

- Believe that you HAVE THE POWER to change, you have the power to change your personal reality

Now let's talk about my alter ego! Her name is soo-ah which is a Korean name that means Beautiful Oceans. Why did I choose this name? Because my first name also means ocean so I thought it was the perfect name for my alter ego.

As for my alter ego, she is introverted but has a group of lovely friends, she is funny and laughs a lot, she has a mysterious aura, she does her dream job, she travels and has a lot of hobbies, she takes care of herself, she heals her trauma, has a healthy relationship, she reads a lot, she does the best for herself…

I made a playlist of music that reminds me of her that I will listen to every morning to help me feel like her. I prefer high vibration music to stay motivated because the songs of the weeknd make me less energetic I find.

To visualize what my alter ego could look like, I used the everskies app and created a simple vision board

That's all! On Monday when I go to work I'm going to give way to my alter ego and see how things evolve! I hope this helps you!

ﾒ𝟶𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐞

[r3dmooon]

Behind Your Screen — Wally Darling x gn! human! reader

summery: Strange things keep popping up on your computer. Soon you find out it's all because of a strange entity!

tw: some creepy things are alluded to, but it's all vague.

a/n: I had so much fun writing this. Wally is kicking his feet while drawing for you. He is not yandere!!!!

wc: 0.8k

Master List

❥Wally was bored, watching people come and go. They’d check out the website, sometimes look at his little doodles, then leave. It honestly made him sad. Did no one want to be his friend? The messages in the guestbook said otherwise but they didn’t come back. 

❥Then you came around. At first, you seemed like the rest. After looking around the website you closed the tab. But then you came back. He didn’t get his hopes up, as others have come back for a second glance too. But this time he couldn’t help but admire you. You were so focused, scrolling and looking through the details of the website.

❥You came back more often, he wasn’t sure why. Who was he to ask questions? He finally got the friend he’s been longing for. It was so lonely where he was after all…

❥He found out that he could leave you little drawings, and it became his favorite pastime! He couldn’t feel more delighted drawing you with him and his friends all hanging out. Oh if only those dreams could be a reality…he didn’t want to think about what happened to his friends. No, not when you’re there to make everything better!

❥When you got the first drawing, you were confused. You didn’t really use ms paint…and you didn’t remember drawing this anyways. Yes, you’ve become enraptured in this rediscovered puppet show called Welcome Home. And yes…you did check out the website, just to see if anything changed…and you may have created fan content for the show…

❥All in all, you decided to pass it off as something you made without remembering. It was a cute drawing. It was you with the cast members on a picnic. You couldn’t help but keep it in a special folder on your desktop. 

❥But then another one popped up the next day. The picture was of you and Wally smiling, text over it read ‘You're the absolute most friend’. 

❥Your heart dropped. That catchphrase was quite familiar. In fact…that was on one of the valentine’s day artworks for Wally. You quickly booted up the website, just to double check. As you found it, you took a deep breath. Maybe you tiredly drew this one too? I mean…what else could it be? But something in your gut told you that it was someone else. A hacker? Stalker? 

❥No, no you're just overthinking this. Little did you know, Wally was watching your reaction with the happiest grin he’s had in such a long time. He hopes his little drawings make you as happy as you make him. 

❥This kept happening, but you refused to bring up your concerns since nothing else had happened. Only those strange…I suppose endearing drawings. If anything, it made you even more interested in the wacky children's show. You read more thoroughly through the characters descriptions, and found the concerning hidden messages in parts of the website. 

❥All the drawing had one common theme. Wally was always by your side. Didn’t matter what scenario, or who else you were ‘hanging out’ with, he was always there. If the drawings alone didn’t creep you out, the fact that Wally in all the drawings was staring at you, and not drawing you felt unsettling. 

❥It all changed when one day your notes app was opened along with another drawing. The picture was of you and Wally hugging, the notes app saying: ‘Do you like hugs, friend?’ 

❥You slammed your computer shut, fear running through your veins. What the hell was that? 

❥Wally’s little felt heart hurt as your face left his view suddenly. Did he come off too strong? He was just excited to get to interact with you in another medium. He got so happy that he couldn’t help but write the first thought that came to mind.

❥Your presence has become a comfort to him. With everything that has happened and is happening…it was nice to look forward to his meetings with you. You seemed like such a nice person. He wished he could be with you…but the thumping that surrounded him reminded him that that would always just be a fantasy. 

❥The next time you opened your computer, you felt a little guilty. The notes app was still open, this time it said ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you friend.’ You still felt anxious, but the guilt overpowered that. It wouldn’t hurt to interact…would it? Maybe it’s some weird AI chatbot that…you didn’t know. Just hoped it wasn’t a hacker messing with you.

❥Not sure how you were supposed to interact, you decided to reply back in the notes app. ‘Who are you?’

❥That’s when you learned that Wally was somehow in your computer? Able to access your computer? You weren’t completely sure, he was vague when answering where he was. You felt like you were going a bit crazy…I mean c’mon, the logic made no sense. But a feeling deep in your gut told you this was all real. You weren’t being fooled, you weren’t being hacked, the main character of an old 70’s children show was talking to you.

❥Over time, you two became closer. In fact, you started to find Wally quite charming and cute. He would continue drawing you cute pictures and you would keep him company. 

❥If only you two could live in a fairytale, happily ever after…

[lovelybunn]

𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐄. –ㅤㅤfeat. alt gabriel & gn angel reader

synopsis: reader has been friends with archangel gabriel for centuries. it was only until the outbreak of alternates, did something in gabriel change... at first, reader did not question it, until he started asking them to do the most dreadful things.

word count: 3.1k

warning: gore, topic of suicide, manipulation, heavy religious themes, slight horror

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤprologue.

YOU WERE ECSTATIC. Gabriel was finally coming home. It's been almost two decades since the last time you saw him. At some point in the process of waiting, you assumed he was either sent to purgatory, or worse. But all of that didn't matter anymore. Your Gabriel was coming home, back to you.

You practically galloped to the entrance, your wings fluttering with anticipation. You were stopped mid-sprint and almost ran into the crowd of fellow angels welcoming your dear friend back. Gabriel may not have been the highest ranking, only being an Archangel, but he had a way with the people, both mortal and immortal alike. He was kind-hearted, selfless, and never made anyone feel excluded. You admired him. He gave you a chance, when no one else did. For all that he does for you, you would do anything for him.

You weren't the tallest for an angel, so you hopped up and let your wings float you above the soft, cloudy ground. Gabriel waved to the crowd, his wide, childlike eyes twinkled in joy. You squinted down at him in curiosity. His hair looked longer. He never liked his hair past his shoulders. You brushed away the thought. Maybe he didn't have time to cut it.

The crowds bickering and cheering gradually got louder, until a booming voice from behind startled them, everyone's heads whipping towards the sound. "Welcome back, dearest Archangel Gabriel, have the heavens blessed you in your travels. How was your mission, my child?" God announced, his vocal cords buzzing around the cathedral. We all quickly dived to our knees, our eyes glued to the floor. The space became deadly quiet. The only person who looked up was Gabriel, an innocent smile on his face.

He flipped his long locks to the side and cleared his throat. "It went very well, Father. The alternates have been eradicated, and faith has returned in the mortal world." This was the very first time you've heard Gabriel speak in years; his voice had gone deeper, almost slick, like ice. God gave two small nods of his head, "That is wonderful news, my son." God lifted his hands in the air for emphasis, all heads lifting up to their superior. "As tribute to his efforts, I may grant a celebration in this young man's honor!" Everyone raised to their feet and screamed in harmony, "Hurrah!"

ㅤ

The outbreak of alternates had started about two decades ago, and Gabriel was sent away to purify all that were affected on Earth. It wasn't as bad at the beginning, it being very easy to distinguish between alternate and normal mortals. But then, as the years went by, Lucifer had gotten creative- strategic, even. Alternates started to look more like the creatures they were imitating, and used manipulation to cause victims to end their own lives as sacrifice for the devil's so-called "cause". Trust was shattered all across the world.

No one knew who was a pawn and who wasn't, so, as mortals often do in misunderstandings, they turned on each other. You didn't want to imagine the bloodshed that Gabriel was forced to witness, it hurt your heart just thinking about it. So many innocent lives taken away at such short notice. The saddest part was, even the highest ranking angel couldn't save a mortal- bring them back to who they once were. Once one became an alternate, there was no known way to reverse it. They would forever be under Satan's control.

The thought scared you to death, but you always wondered, after the advancements of disguise, if the devil would take it a step further. Would he ever dare send one of his pawns to the holy land? Would he be filled with so much hatred and resentment that he himself would pretend to be an angel again, just to destroy all of humanity, and everything else with it? Your wings shut tightly against each other as you shivered.

ㅤ

Before the nightmare could continue, something cold slithered itself onto your shoulder. You jumped, your wings flashed out in surprise.You quickly turned on your heels. There stood your best friend, your true savior right in front of you. You pounced on him, hugging the boy with both arms and legs. Slightly startled, he wrapped his arms around your small figure. Gabriel has always been taller than you, being about six-foot-five in human terms. He always liked to hold you and give you piggy back rides, he loved seeing how happy you would get, being able to see all that he sees. He was like a big brother to you.

"Hi, (Name)! It's so wonderful to finally see you again! I missed you so much!" With your head buried into the crook of his neck, you muttered, "I thought I lost you." You breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. You couldn't pin-point what it was, but Gabriel always smelled like comfort, home. For quite some time, you felt as if you'd never feel that way again. But it didn't matter now, he was here. You were safe.

"Of course you didn't lose me, sweetie, I'll always be with you." He gave you a soft grin, his dimples poking the sides of his cheeks. A weak smile was your response, "From the darkest nights to the ends of time." You and Gabriel said in sync. In a way, those were your vows to each other. Gabriel had come up with the phrase when the two of you were very young, only a few thousand years old. There was a devastating war between the underworld and the holy land, and both of you were highly injured in battle. You remember it as if it was yesterday.

ㅤ

He laid helplessly in your arms, his body almost too heavy for you to hold on to. Part of his left wing had been ripped apart, a river of blood poured out in its place. With tears in your eyes, you screamed, begged for someone, anyone to help your dying friend. It felt as if even though pain and destruction surrounded you, only you and Gabriel were left in the entire universe. The realization hit you like a bullet to your chest. Gabriel was going to die here, and you would be the only one who witnessed, or cared, for that matter.

"I'm so sorry..." You sobbed, clinging on his heaving stomach. "Please, please don't leave me. I can't lose you, you're all I have..." With a shaky hand, Gabriel caressed your cheek and smiled with as much optimism his weak body could muster. "Don't be silly, (Name). I'll always be with you, from the darkest nights to the ends of time."

ㅤ

You slowly slid off of Gabriel, taking his hand in yours. The two of you walked towards the housing district as you exclaimed, "It looks like nothing changed for you. You're still beloved by everyone." He chuckled lightly, "That's a bit of a misconception. I bet I have a few enemies here and there." You let go of Gabriel's hand to elbow him in the side, "Don't kid yourself, how could anyone hate you? You're perfect." He snickered down at you, his eyes half lidded. "I wouldn't say I'm perfect. Everyone has their flaws, even the seraphim, the purest of all angels." You furrowed your brows in frustration. "Why can't you just take the compliment? And also, I wouldn't suggest talking about your superiors like that, you know they're all-knowing." He shrugged.

The rest of the walk to the housing sector was awkwardly silent. Usually the two of you have much to talk about, but today Gabriel seemed oddly reserved. Maybe he just needed time to settle back in, to recover from whatever horrors he may have discovered while dealing with the alternates. You and Gabriel finally made it to your humble abode, a cozy little loft at the corner of the sector, perfect for viewing the mortals below and stars above.

He sighed, plopping his body on your perfectly cushioned couch. It looked as if all tension in his muscles had melted away in an instant. You smiled warmly. "I'm glad you're making yourself at home, Gabriel. I can't imagine how exhausted you are." He didn't bother to face you as he slurred, "More than you would know." Your lips curled into frown, underwhelmed by his lack of acknowledgement of your presence.

Have you been replaced? No, that can't be. You and Gabriel have been friends since childhood, he couldn't have replaced you that fast. He wouldn't anyway, he loves you. You just settled with the conclusion that you were overthinking, and that he just needed some time alone to collect his thoughts. "Well, if you need anything, I'll be in my bedroom." You nervously stammered, a jittery giggle sneaking its way out of your vocal cords. Before you could hear a response, you quickly shuffled your feet toward your bedroom, your clammy hands glued together.

You closed your door quietly and sat down on the side of your bed. Your wings fluffed themselves out and a few stray feathers fluttered down onto your sheets as you rested your chin on your palm. You shut your eyes and took in a deep breath. There was so much you wanted to talk to him about, but you didn't want to seem nagging. Gabriel already seemed to be giving you the cold shoulder. You shrugged it off again and curled into your covers in silence. "Maybe he'll feel better by the time his party starts." You mumbled to no one at all, trying to bring some comfort in this very confusing situation.

You tried to rest, but Gabriel’s unnatural behavior had bothered you a bit more than you thought it would. It had been almost an hour since you trailed off to your room, and he hasn't even tried knocking on your door to check on you. Then, as if God himself had came down to answer your prayers, there came a damp haired, truly majestic being with a loosely fit robe tied around his waist.

Gabriel looked absolutely ethereal. You’ve always thought he was pretty, but this was next level. The shoulder of the satin robe drooped to one side, exposing his collarbones. Gabriel must have noticed your flushed expression, because he giggled and gently sat beside you. “Awe, just look at yourself, (Name)! It isn’t like it's the first time you’ve seen me like this.” He teased, a pouty look on his soft features. And you hope it wasn’t the last, you thought, eyes averted. The wall looked very interesting at this point in time.

“I’m glad you decided to freshen up.” Fiddling with your hands, you added, “What do you plan on wearing for your event tonight?” He hummed, a low rumble in his chest. “I have no clue yet. Nothing too flashy. Gold would be nice…” After swallowing down your pride, you gained the courage to face Gabriel again. This time he wasn’t looking at you, fixated on his soft, big curls that flowed down to his mid-back.

He combed his fingers through them, patiently waiting for you to interject. You pressed your lips together into a fine line, not knowing what to say. Since it was the only thing you could come up with, and the awkward silence was threatening your dignity, you queried, “Why did you decide to grow it out? Your hair, I mean.” Without moving a single muscle, Gabriel’s eyes flashed a dark look your way.

You involuntarily flinched, wings twitching with suspicion. Gabriel’s usual bright, welcoming, sapphires had seemed to dull to a depressing, almost sinister, shade of gray slate. His left eyebrow raised dramatically, the rest of Gabriel’s features hard as stone. He blinked once and the expression was gone, replaced with a goofy grin and rosy cheeks. You hesitantly rested your hand over your heart, an ache being gently lifted off your shoulders. Gabriel spoke, that same icy tone had crept its way back from his first arrival.

A hint of sweetness only masked over it, “Remember how you would say you loved when I let my hair grow freely? How you hated to see me grab a pair of scissors just to chop it all down to less than shoulder length? That’s about all there is to it. I did it out of respect for my best friend, (Full Name).” You smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of your neck, “Well, I’m glad you finally came to your senses; I think it looks wonderful on you.” Gabriel gave a small nod as a “thank you”, his large figure rising up off your mattress. “Speaking of the event, I must start getting ready, it could start at any moment.”

You squinted as Gabriel waltzed out completely unbothered, not even giving you a small wave. The door shut, the loud slam caused you to slightly jump. You took in a deep breath and your widened wings slowly wrapped around your anxious figure, comfortably warming your unusually cold skin. With a grunt, you stretched yourself out in standing position. "What was that defensive look about? All I did was ask about his hair." You audibly wondered, heading over to your bureau.

You paused and tilted your head a little, a troubled face looked back at you through the reflection. Something seemed off, but you couldn't pinpoint what it was. You leaned toward the mirror, hand stretched as if to reach out for something invisible to the eye. You squinted, observing the mirror more closely. There was nothing there that was out of the ordinary. You sighed roughly, feeling comfortable enough to finally pull back. Your paranoia had been almost instantly proven wrong.

You blinked for a millisecond, and there stood a freakishly tall and slender shadow, its black figure practically camouflaged into the darkness of your closet. It stared at you with soulless sockets, their shape unnatural and elongated, very similar to that of an old cartoon. You bit back a scream and snapped your head back towards the creature with your back faced toward the mirror. It disappeared, nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, you heard a mangled voice gurgle out some close to unintelligible phrase right against your ear. The only translatable words were "The end is near. Soon the world will crumble from his wrath." Out of impulse, you slammed your fist against the glass, pieces abruptly shattering across the floor, the loud cracks screeched in your ears. You pulled your hand back, knuckles already stained with blood. All you did was pop your fingers, a quiet hiss only subtly revealing the pain stabbing at the joints in your hand.

"All of that was delusion. I need to finish getting ready." You were getting used to telling yourself that, ever since Gabriel had returned. Although, that felt real. Almost too real. If that was what you thought it was, you could not tell anyone. Gabriel had promised he had gotten rid of all alternates, and you weren't going to completely ruin his reputation just because you're starting to see things. Gabriel was your world, and you couldn't imagine his own crumbling because of you. If keeping him safe requires hurting yourself, you've been prepared for the fall.

Your eyes widened. “This place is filled to the brim. I’ll never get inside at this rate.” You muttered, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. Because he was the ‘guest of honor’, Gabriel had already arrived before anyone could step foot into the pub. You were wearing your best, its design covered in intricate symbols, each having its own distinct meaning. Yet, it's not like it really mattered, people were too busy shoving you around to get inside to take note of your dazzling outfit. You felt a sharp pain in your head coming on. “You have got to be kidding me…”

Unfortunately, as an angel, you were not limited to the everyday pains of that which a mortal human would feel, back pains especially came naturally to you. Trying your best to ignore that intense, godforsaken migraine that pounded across your mind, you squeezed yourself through the mass of individuals, an occasional “Sorry.” “Excuse me.” “Pardon me.” under your breath.

Once you finally made it in, you closed your eyes, letting your lungs take in the pub’s strangely intoxicating smell. It was citrusy, with a hint of freshly handcrafted booze. It reminded you of humans�� casinos, except less… sinful.

A large chandelier hung above your head, its beautiful ornaments twinkled in spite of the darkness that surrounded the object. The party had just begun about five minutes ago, and the pub was already buzzing with people of various ethnic backgrounds. From the fairest skinned sharp-eyed Russian, to the buzzling group of deep dark brown Africans and their hyperactive latinx companions, diversity was no small thing at this event, or in Heaven in general. This fact alone proved your point of Gabriel being a star in the world’s eyes. You weren’t jealous, in fact, you were just as vulnerable to Gabriel’s undying charm as everyone else in this building.

Music of all kinds blared through the speakers, it's hard bass causing you to slam your palms over your ears. The sea of bodies swayed forward, toward a balcony hanging overhead. You followed suit; a beaming figure rose from the darkness of the room of the balcony. He raised his hand slowly, then, in a blink of an eye, it whipped across the air in one quick movement. The whole pub silenced themselves. The man let his hand fall to his lap gently, resting on top of the one he wasn’t using. He bowed to the crowd, most returning the gesture.

Once he had risen back to standing posture, he raised his arms up high, very similarly to God’s act this morning. As if in sync, his vast wings flashed out, a gust of wind blew across the masses. Now that he had really allowed you to look at them, the scars on Gabriel’s left wing were not there, at all. It was almost as if the injury had never happened.

Gabriel spoke, causing you to rushingly shift your focus back onto his face. It looked stern, an almost exact replica of the expression he gave you back at your loft. It sent an uncanny shiver down your spine. “It is truly an honor to be with you all on this charming evening, I thank you for your hospitality. I may have freed the mortal world from harm, but you, the people and protectors of all that is holy, are the true heroes. There is no sin without justice, as well as there is no justice without sin.” Angels from all around roared, chanting things most of which were unintelligible to you.

[thesoulforgeorder]

As promised, a summary for each background to help you choose what would be the best fit for your character in chapter one. I will try to avoid heavy spoilers and focus more on the themes and general settings and highlights for each background.

Military

The military background is for those who wish to make a character that was born into the militant society. Your character would have grown up in a prestigious, high ranking military family and known a life of luxury and privilege. You were afforded the best training, equipment and opportunities that money could buy.

However, with that came a heavy burden. For generations your family has held high ranking positions in every branch of the Navy and passed the rank of admiral for Voxis's greatest warship down. Everyone is looking to you to take over the mantle as your father's eldest child.

You will be able to decide how you react to your legacy. There are also characters that will be introduced and can play a key part in the story later. Depending on what impressions you left on them, this could help you later.

Wastelander

The wastelander background is for those who wish to explore the dynamics and culture outside the military government's influence. Wastelander is a name given to the nomadic people who travel and settle in the Wastelands of Voxis.

The wastelands are seen as a very dangerous place because there is no protection against the exilliums (there are no walls, military patrols etc. Like in the cities). The people in the cities often tend to look at wastelanders with distrust and skepticism because they keep the old faith; worshipping the Old Gods.

While Voxis worships technology, wastelanders still pray and perform the rituals of old for the Old Gods. Your character will get to decide your relationship with the religion and how you view your commune. Knowing about the Old Gods will trigger special dialogue and scenes later in the story.

You are also able to meet Theo, one of the six ROs, and start to build your relationship with him.

Orphan

Finally, the orphan background. This background focuses on what life is like for those born in the lower rung districts in Voxis; what happens to those who have no family or connections. It provides insight into the devastation exilliums can cause and how the military reacts.

This background is unique in that it has a branching path that will drastically change how a character, you meet in this background, will react to you, the player, later in the story. (Sorry for being so vague but I really think it is best for people to experience it themselves, any spoilers would ruin the path.)

Overall, this background is all about being stuck between two worlds. Your character can decide whether you feel resentment towards the military because you don't believe they do enough to save people (like your parents) or believe that they are doing their best and that you want to stop people from losing their loved ones in the future.

[saintsenara]

As someone who isn't the biggest Hermione fan and keeps it quiet because greater fandom LOVES her, I'm honestly gagging for more of your Hermione takes. Especially your takes on fanon Hermione, who I can't STAND. Have a good one x

thank you very much, anon - there are dozens of us!

hermione is certainly the character i struggle to find common ground with the most - and this has been the case since i first read philosopher's stone as a child.

[which has actually been a really fascinating pop-culture experience - i think we tend to overlook, both because the media landscape and its representation of child and teen girls has changed since the 1990s and because of jkr's increasingly harmful views on gender, just how groundbreaking hermione was as a female protagonist in media which wasn't marketed primarily or exclusively towards girls. there is a reason why so many girls and women identified with her when the books were coming out - and it was very interesting for me growing up to not be one of them.]

the cause of my beef with hermione is for the incredibly petty reason that i find people who possess many of her more... striking traits quite difficult to deal with in real life, particularly if they don't acknowledge [which people in the hermione vein often don't...] that these traits are things it might benefit them to work on in their interpersonal relationships...

but this doesn't prevent me recognising that canon!hermione [and any real person like her] is interesting - and that her more annoying traits work well with her more straightforwardly admirable ones to create a fully-rounded character who, from a fanfiction perspective, is a great vehicle for all sorts of tropes, themes, and storylines.

which brings us - of course - to fanon!hermione...

fanon!hermione is, at her core, another brick in the wall of mary-sues. she's beautiful, and so clever she can solve millennia-old puzzles without batting an eyelid, and she's preternaturally emotionally intelligent, and she's morally spotless, and she's always right, and the story's preferred romantic partner worships the ground she walks on, and anyone who doesn't like her is punished.

i don't think - to be clear - that there is anything wrong, per se, with people wanting to write fanon!hermione [nor, to be frank, with other flawless fanon versions of female characters, oc mary-sues, or self-indulgent self-inserts - i'll defend the right to have fun with characters to the death]. this is a hobby, and people's way of engaging with that hobby doesn't have to appeal to me - it's fun escapism sometimes to write a character who is wonderful and perfect and beloved and has a sexy partner; and when it comes to accusations of writing someone "out-of-character", let she who is without sin cast the first stone...

but i also think - and [sigh] here comes some discourse - that fanon!hermione is part of a slight... girlbossification of female characters in the harry potter fandom [and presumably in others, i just don't follow closely enough to know] which i've always been a little uneasy about.

i understand why this happens - this fandom, like many, has an overwhelming preference for making blorbos of male characters and for imagining these characters in slash relationships. the treatment of female characters in slash subfandoms - i.e. tonks in wolfstar spaces; lily in jegulus spaces - is often straightforwardly misogynistic, and even in cases where it isn't, female characters are often shuffled quietly to the sidelines, except when they pop up - often suddenly in a queer pairing of their own - to benignly cheerlead the male couple.

and i think it's good that this is challenged - as i also think it's good that the heteronormative vibes of a lot of slash are challenged - and that we, as a fandom, are increasingly interested in female-centric works [whether focused on a romantic pairing or otherwise] and discussions. i hope these continue to take up fandom space.

but i have also noticed that the way female characters are written and talked about in these context is - as i've said - quite #girlboss in its approach. the focus is on women as clever and competent and feisty and unruffled and brave.

[including female villains, there are a lot of girlboss bellatrixes knocking around...]

and great! it should be! - but from what i've seen this also comes accompanied by a resistance to the idea that women can also be boring, unintelligent, self-infantilising, vain, arrogant, ignorant, talentless, meek, domestic, rude, dislikable, conservative, incurious, complicit in their own victimisation, plain wrong, and so on, and not only still be worthy of exploration, but be worthy of these characteristics not being automatically considered bad things for someone to possess and it not being seen as letting down the sisterhood to explore a woman who possesses them.

and, sure, hermione cannot be described as many of these things - but she is...

self-righteous; cruel; petty; from a privileged class background in the muggle world which blinkers her understanding of the class structure of the wizarding one; stubborn; terrible under pressure; shown by the text to be intelligent largely due to an ability to rote learn; a people-pleaser with a tendency towards a slightly hagrid-ish blind loyalty; extremely deferential to authority and willing to tolerate cruel treatment from authority figures [i.e. snape]; the most childlike of the trio [she takes her schoolbooks on the run and reads through them for comfort! she's an enormous animal lover!]; interested in one of form of stereotypical femininity [knitting! wearing pretty dresses!] even if she rejects the form of stereotypical femininity liked by e.g. parvati and lavender [and anyone who thinks she's not going to get along with her mother-in-law because molly's a housewife is dead wrong - she's having the time of her life helping put together a sunday lunch at the burrow]; possessed of a filthy sense of humour [i will never understand why emma watson said that the key to playing her was to be prim...]; someone who obviously wants to be liked and to be loved; and so on...

[and also, by the end of the pre-epilogue narrative, eighteen. she's often written in fics in a way which makes her sound like she's seen a lot of life - especially if the fic wants to claim she's "too mature" to bother with men her own age... but she hasn't - she's a teenager, and the reason she's so unpolished and abrasive is because literally all teenagers are unpolished and abrasive. it's just one of the mortifying agonies of growing up.]

we should love this. it makes her thorny and messy and mixed-up and human - and i am perfectly delighted by explorations of her character which delve into unravelling this tangle.

i just like her less as someone who is there to be right and beloved and uncriticised.

unless it's by ron. everyone should be uncomplicatedly adored by their wife guy.

[redd956]

When writing feels stale and unfamiliar...

Ever be trying to finish a WIP, update a fanfic, or push out something for school, but writing just suddenly feel so stale, almost like your own writing doesn't sound like you...

Well I'm here to help you break that cycle!

This feeling usually happens when either two things happen

Imposter Syndrome

or

You're Simply Improving

That's right, it's not you doing something wrong, you're just being a skilled writer. How do we get out of this dull feeling though? There's a lot of different tactics you can try. Here's some potential options.

Read your own writing

Read your own writing. Do it! Not only does it cause you to realize how much you like your own writing, it forces you to refresh. it's a great way to remember where you were going in a piece, and any potential themes or writing style you accidentally dropped. It makes it easier to pick up some lost mistakes too, and discover some places to improve.

(this one works twice as well after a break or some passage of time :D)

Change of Atmosphere

Not exactly a change of location, but instead a change of atmosphere. Play a new lo-fi playlist, try writing without any sound at all, indulge in thematic video essays in the background. Sometimes in order to regain focus the atmosphere needs to change.

Consume New Content

This goes for all creatives who are stumped. To output constant creative creations and ideas you require an input in the first place. For some people it may take awhile before they feel the brunt of creative block, but it will eventually come for all. The best advice I can give is to consume new media. Read a new book, watch a TV show, play a video game, find a new artist you like. This is all input. Input becomes output.

Take A Break

Not everyone has the privilege to do this one, but if you do, don't turn your nose from it. Taking a break isn't exactly something everyone does creative-wise, especially those who deal with a quick working skill regression. I've been there.

Taking a break from something is a great way to make it feel fresh when you return. Breaks don't have to be long. Depending on what calculates as a break for you is what you should strive for (even if it's only a day or two).

Acceptance

Accept that you are not going to create the top most, polished stuff 24/7 Every artist and writer creates and dumps ton of unfinished art, erases pieces, and makes lots of mistakes. Often times the best work that we admire takes a lot of time, refinement, practice, and drafts. Sometimes we just have to write badly in order to come back and do it again good.

[12amphantasm]

People always meet you with reverence, “Father Andrew!”, they greet when you walk past, admiration heavy in their voices. They love you for how pious you are, friendly and loving, your patience and generosity.

And you love them, too. Just like the place you have stayed in for nearly twenty years, the huge complex composed of a humble yet luxurious church, the boarding school for troubled youths, the small but very warm house for the elderly, and the nearby university of theology - together known as The Hillset Private Conservatory.

God loves it all, every flower, every human, and whatever it might be that’s walking through these halls. __

The game is 18+ and meant for an adult audience.

Although the romance is strictly MxM, sexuality is relevant only for the romantic routes and the game can be played without engaging in intimate relationships, but at the expense of background information the player won’t be able to get in other ways. __

The game will be uploaded in parts, starting at least with 10k words. Planed release: Late April/early May 2024 ___

Written by a gay man, the romance is MxM only and stays true to reality, portraying genuine gay relationships, without stereotypes and harmful tropes.

“We Are God’s Most Beloved” is an old-school text-heavy interactive fiction novel and recommended to those who love reading.

Choices are meaningful instead of flavour and used only when they have an actual impact, this means there are long passages of text, which requires the reader to keep track of the story – just like they would with a novel. There is a lot to explore, attentive readers might find more game in this interactive fiction than one would expect.

The main genre is horror, even if nothing is outrageously explicit and often handled with a focus on the absurd, it contains horror-typical themes and tropes such as blood, body horror, surreal imaginary, and other commonly used elements.

In addition, mental illness, dysfunctional familial relationships, and physical assault play an important role depending on which route is chosen.

Hillset Private Conservatory, build in 1802, despite its long history, is a name few people know or have ever heard, and if one is aware of its existence, it’s rarely for good reasons.

Rumours have it that the owner was a paranoid man and the gigantic complex created solely to have a spacious cage for his family, namely his eight children, only for all of them to find an untimely death on this very property.

"It's haunted!", some say. "It's evil!", some claim.

Of course, nothing of that is true, the many teachers, counsellors, nuns, and priest can attest to that, and so would many of their students. At least a good portion of them. Maybe some, at least.

Now summer vacation has ended, and a new batch of fosterlings is about to arrive; frightened, misguided, and troubled teens in need of loving care, education, and a new chance at life.

Father Andrew, the only acting priest, will do his best, like always, to show them God’s brilliance and create a warm home out of these century old walls.

No railroading, no hand-holding

Life is full of choices, you have to make your own and live with them, ultimately missing out on certain things, or ending up utterly regretting what you did. There is no right or wrong, no road I, more or less sneakily, force you to take, choices are all equally valid and accounted for. ___

A fixed protagonist

Father Andrew is a fixed character, with his own likes, dislikes, appearance, and convictions. But how he navigates the world, how he reacts, who he becomes fond of or rather avoids, his interactions and how he lives his life, and, of course, what you learn about him, is up to you. ___

One end to rule them all

There are no bad endings or early finishes, all choices lead to the same endpoint, but how it looks like… is on you alone. ___

No stats

“We Are God’s Most Beloved” doesn’t require you to master stats, the story changes based on your choices, how you interact with the world and characters determines the options you will have, who likes or hates you, and how the story will play out. ___

Explicit - Yes or No?

You can choose to either read explicit sexual interactions or go for fade-to-black. ___

Romance

Three romantic interests are waiting to meet you, but you can play the whole story without romancing anyone, at the expense of sexual moments, additional plot-points centred around these characters, and potentially interesting background information.

No indicators are used, you have to find your own way, going by what you know about a character, evaluating the current situation, and acting accordingly.

Use the relationship stats to figure out what you did right or wrong, you have successfully entered a romantic route with a RO when the percentage reaches 50% and will deepen, or lessen, the relationship from then on.

There are no poly routes, entering one will lock you out of the others, and while you can’t lose a route once entered, how the couple ends up is based on your actions.

Keep in mind that “love” comes in many forms and players might find it worthwhile to forge bonds with other characters.

Profiles - Here

Father Andrew

Thirty-three years old, he was admitted to Hillset boarding school for troubled youths at the tender age of fourteen and hasn’t left the complex since. He’s very out of touch with the outside, basing his worldview, manners and morals on the old nuns and priests that raised him, often colliding with the new students’ modern ways. Friendly, polite and helpful, he’s easy to get along with on first glance but hard to truly get to know, which leaves him without friends and often rather lonely. __

Sister Lucia

Thirty-five years old, she’s one of the younger nuns but the strictness with which she loves doesn’t pale in comparison. She’s very fond of Father Andrew, who is her inspiration and has warped the image of how a priest should be until it became unrecognisable. Her hobbies are flower-arrangements, cooking things no one who loves their life should eat, taking care of the children in their school, and writing in her journal. __

Ẻ̶̛̬̲̀͋͑v̷̟̫̌̄͂ẻ̵͙̆̎͐l̸̨̙̠̻̜̐͌̓̂ͅͅy̵̡̲̼̔̑̾̀̀͐n̶̻̰̬͛͂͊̏̕͜͠

They might or might not be human. --

Moby

They definitely aren’t human, but God loves them anyway.

The love interests

Ryan Harris

Twenty-four years old and a student of Theology, he’s a graduate from the boarding school for troubled youths. While not overly intelligent, he’s diligent, curious, and not afraid of hardships. Father Andrew’s liturgy is his favourite part of the week and helping out something he takes pride in, as he does in his paintings that are full of creative flair and appreciated only by those with strong artistic sense. __

Connor Price

Thirty-one years old, he has been teaching English for eight years at a famous school and will do so from now on at Hillset - even if only because other schools refused to take him. He doesn’t like the enormous complex, dated appearance, long, dark halls, how everyone is just too nice, and Father Andrew, who somehow gives him the creeps. Connor spends his time reading, avoiding coworkers, and having long talks with the elderly in their care. __

?

You have to find that out on your own.

[nqmonarch]

For the request, can I please have yandere Black Swan x fem or gn reader x yandere Sparkle headcanon as the poly relationship? Basically Sparkle and Black Swan are working together to get their darling.

Yeah of course! Sorry for the late response! I also started this before current quest came out (2.1 I think, the one that focuses on Aventurine) so sorry if I missed anything that came out recently!

CW: Yandere themes (it isn't super heavy I think), Memory manipulation, kidnapping that isn't viewed as kidnapping by the kidnappee

To start with is always the question of how Black Swan and Sparkle become interested in you, such a strange duo both with different goals and aspirations yet absolutely threatening while working together.

You were a very simple person but also infinitely complex, like most people. But rather than keep the complexities of your life close to yourself and the ones you cared for, you wore your life on your sleeve. One moment you'd be distracted by ooo-- pretty fish nice bright and orange and--. Oh right the drink in front of you is also pretty nice but the moment you drink it, it'll be gone forever. It won't matter, and will be forgotten in your own mind, and the mind of the world. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter in the slightest, just like your life. Unless if it's a super good drink.

And look there's a pretty lady following the pretty fish! Actually it looks like the fish are swimming around her, maybe in the dream scape you're permanently under the sea. You don't really like the sea though, actually it's okay. You've just been a thousand meters deep before and at that point the pressure kills, you didn't die but it wasn't pleasant. Thankfully, gear was upgraded pretty well, which is expected for a city under water. There were also many beautiful creatures down there that you were lucky to see and lots of rocks, there weren't fish like the fish around the pretty lady though-- and she's gone.

What a shame, you would've loved to introduce yourself to her. Now, your drink demanded your attention and you had to oblige.

And that was the first time you met Sparkle.

You were someone that could admire Sparkle and not only indulge but enjoy her games and give her the attention she wanted. And after you ended up accidentally joining a scene you weren't supposed to be in and participating in her murder mystery game, she realized how good the attention felt.

Black Swan was someone who would observe a puzzle from the outside and would play along with the puzzle but truly be trying to deconstruct the person behind the puzzle.

You, on the other hand, were someone who would know it's a puzzle yet, devote your all to something you knew wasn't real. How silly, but how... cute? Sparkle's thoughts surprised even her, she had always been into toppling over more composed people. But you were composed in a different way. You were passionate but controlled, excited but not often upset, like a river flowing rapidly leaving waves in the air but not leaving it's boundaries unnecessarily.

Your unexpected participation in the murder mystery was exactly what drew Black Swan's interest as well. Your attention was changing from detail to detail each minute and when the time came to guess who Sparkle was. You foolishly guessed Sparkle's body-- and you were right. Black Swan should've figured out the fool would've pulled something like this, Sampo was too obvious of an answer.

Your excitement at the truth was genuine from the way your entire face brightened up to the way you began to hop excitedly in place. "See? Sampo's too nice to kill someone!" She thought your reasoning was still wrong though.

Sampo was pretty cool, he seemed like a scum bag but that didn't mean he'd kill someone he was still too nice to do that. Also he didn't act interested enough in the murder to be Sparkle. If you killed someone you'd be really interested in how the detective solved the murder, it'd be like a fun little game! But you wouldn't do that, most people didn't deserve to die and the ones that did probably wouldn't die by your hand-- and what if you were wrong you'd be better off sending them to jail and hoping they'd reform instead and someone just said something to you that you missed oh shit, hopefully you won't get yelled at.

Oh wait that wasn't directed at you that's just Sparkle trying to get Black Swan to-- wait Black Swan's a memokeeper?! That's sick! Your eyes shined as you looked at the elegant woman with new found respect. A shame Sparkle got rejected, you'd invite her to dance but she probably wouldn't want to dance with you.

"Miss Black Swan," You piped up looking at the veiled woman excitedly and she turned to you with a slight smile. Perhaps, she'd erase your memory, memokeepers were rather secretive right?

None the less you'd rather say what you wanted to say, "Thank you for your work. No memories deserve to be lost, even though one day they will all be lost as we all inevitably die... but that's a while from now! There's so much beauty that needs to be preserved but will inevitably be forgotten. If only we could all share in it, but I understand you likely have your reasons."

If only memokeepers could share all they knew, wouldn't the knowledge of that help humanity immensely? But the weight of memories isn't to be taken lightly, you reminded yourself. All of the pain everyone experienced had to be remembered as well. Because to forget is to repeat.

Her honey eyes took the shape of crescents, "Thank you, dear," her voice sounded like honey too, enough so that you felt your ears grow red at the term of endearment, "Fear not, cherished memories will be preserved from true oblivion."

You blinked, once, twice, "But at some point doesn't there have to be nothing? That's why it's important not just to protect such memories but also make them. Because all we really have is tomorrow. Well, I suppose the only guaranteed thing I have is tomorrow-- actually I could die in the next second so all I have is right now. But memories, at some point wouldn't they have to become nothing as well?"

You paused for a moment before continuing, walking away from Black Swan, "I guess there's no way to know until the end. So when you know whether or not even they become nothing, I'll be waiting, curious, to hear your answer."

That was a fun time. You solved a fake murder, met two pretty ladies, and- oh you won't be alive to hear Black Swan's answer what a shame-- OH! You wondered if they had the once in millennium memory of the ten moon solar eclipse where you could see them all because the smallest moons were the closest to the planet. What a beautiful sight, shame that planet was pretty much deserted. You'd just been lucky to get to see it, you had a research grant or something. Righttt to get samples of that one man eating flower, the cool part was that its flowers contained traces of metal, particularly gold.

Huh, how'd that work? Not like it mattered you were just suppose to get a sample. You wondered if the Garden of Recollection how memories of that plant. You wondered if they had memories of a world slowly dying out, of its last flower crumpling to stony surface.

And with that Black Swan was left looking at your back as you walked away. You were an interesting person. She'd keep an eye out for you but in the meantime the Astral Express seemed to be having some troubles she'd have to prioritize first.

Then, you ran into Sparkle again. This time you were able to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed like a friendly person, albeit she did almost get you killed but such is the way with pranks! All's fair in love and games! And what was life if not a game? Plus you got to see her pretty fish. You wanted one. You didn't think you'd be able to take good care of a fish though, you were already struggling to take care of yourself.

You had a few more run ins with Sparkle and played her games much to her delight! Each time she felt herself growing more excited, would you die if the game required it? You put such care into each moment but even when it resulted in nothing you laughed it off. It was annoying at times, as if anything she planned didn't matter. But when your eyes lit up at solving a puzzle those thoughts were dissuaded.

And even better was how your eyes lit up when they saw her.

How Sparkle preened under your praise. She was sure her games were getting even better with such encouragement and an eager participant! She almost forgot why she came to Penacony in the first place but, she unfortunately had a job. At least the job was fun! Once she was done she'd come and pick you up, she was certain you'd love to come along with her!

Coincidentally when Sparkle had to get more focused on her work you met the beautiful memokeeper again. You greeted her gracefully, your face obviously excited to see her again, and she invited you to a dance..? Sure! Hadn't Sparkle wanted to dance with Black Swan earlier though? Black Swan must've just been busy then, you weren't sure you knew there was something bigger going on behind the scenes but you didn't care much. This was your vacation! Complete freedom to go around and have fun and embrace all the beautiful sights.

Her hand rested snugly on your waist and you didn't resist from leaning into it. You enjoyed the occasional comforts of life, everything is temporary after all. Even if you'd never see Sparkle or Black Swan after this it wouldn't hurt to indulge in the companionship they offered you. "I thought you were too busy to dance," You commented offhandedly, eyes glancing down to her feet every few moments.

Black Swan hummed, appearing a bit confused at first before her vision cleared, "I had another partner but it appears that I got ahead of myself."

"That's always a shame," You replied with a comforting nod. You weren't sure what happened but it can be disappointing when things don't work out, "Still, unexpected results lead to new potential options and that's always fun." You smiled at Black Swan trying to console her as you squeezed her hand gently.

"I suppose you're right," She hummed voice low, eyes rested on you as if always examining you-- oh that's right! You wouldn't forget this time!

You averted your eyes from hers, "I don't mean to be presumptuous but..." Wasn't it arrogant to offer a memory to her? You were sure she'd seen of all kinds of memories, but... you still wanted to offer. "I've traveled a bit and been lucky enough to see some rare sights. I know you've seen a lot but if there's anything particular you want to see, I may have seen it."

That didn't come off as too arrogant right? Honestly, you'd be honored to have a memokeeper keep any of your memories and preserve them but having one look at them was an honor as well.

To your surprise Black Swan didn't reject your idea, at first her eyes widened a bit before relaxing as a sort of fondness entered them, "I've been quite curious myself. I won't intrude, dear." Your bodies remained in motion as she gazed into your eyes and the dance didn't stop.

After Black Swan's experience with Acheron she planned knew not to enter past memories lightly. But, you'd offered up so sweetly and with such hope in your eyes how couldn't she agree? She was curious as well, albeit she wasn't drawn to you like a moth to flame but there was always those lingering thoughts. You were transparent but your words open as they were seemed to lack a clear motive. She wouldn't dig too deeply into your memories just to be safe.

Your memories were clear they were orderly, each having their own place but always moving like an orderly line. Every few moments one would fall out of place and breeze by before finding a new place and the rest would adjust to accommodate it. Black Swan entered one, and immediately felt content. A sunset reached out and covered the landscape in a golden glow, many different kinds of flowers built up human shaped statues, and a soft blanket rested under her palms.

How pleasant, and new... She hadn't been here before, it had a sunset something you could see nearly everywhere but each individual detail added a sense of freshness. She entered another memory, and another. Was there nothing but joy and content in your life?

Each memory was a pleasant feeling that washed over her and kept her warm. She didn't want to leave. In a sense it was more dangerous than Acheron's memories which had tried to devour her bite by bite. But this was a lure, a sweet world with nothing but beauty as if it wanted to trap Black Swan forever. She entered another memory, which had been moving along pleasantly.

Peace washed over Black Swan and she felt her shoulders slump down, as she saw a sun take up half the space of the sky. A single flower to the left crumple onto stone. The death of a world. What had you been doing here?

Why... despite the lack of life and everything was it still so peaceful and warm. As if the act of death was one of beauty. As of with you everything was worthy of joy. Your memories were deceiving, Black Swan noted. She wanted to find a painful one, there had to be at least one, right?

And there were several, far out numbered by the golden soft ones that immersed her in feelings of ecstasy. But after being pampered with such rich memories, and after having almost been devoured by some (Acheron's) Black Swan couldn't bring herself to enter the pain. She would later, but for now she'd be safe, she wouldn't intrude.

At some point during the dance you began to feel cold. You kept an appropriate distance from Black Swan and was sure she didn't notice the way you leaned into her body slightly more. But after a few minutes of the non-stop dancing you felt her hand let go of yours and move around your back to hold you close.

"Thank you," Her voice held warmth in it that you hadn't heard from her before.

"It's beautiful right?" You weren't sure what memory she'd seen but you had many that were pleasing, although you were sure a memokeeper's expectations were higher than yours. Honestly, you could drink a good drink and that would be enough of a pleasing memory for you. Speaking of which you had a wonderful drink the first time you saw Sparkle, you should go get that again.

Black Swan looked into your eyes, a gentle smile on her face, "It is." And for once you felt slightly uncomfortable, as if you didn't understand what she was saying completely. But you brushed it off, you didn't understand after all you didn't know what memories she saw.

Black Swan truly thought you were a sight to behold. A gem, she'd almost missed out. And as she saw you dancing with Sparkle, Black Swan recognized you were a beauty she'd almost lost.

Somehow Sparkle had found out about you dancing with Black Swan and had demanded a dance. Of course she hadn't said it outright instead it was a part of a game. In order to sneak into some "evil castle" the two of you attended a ball in which you pretended to be normal guests but would likely later sneak off to what Sparkle proclaimed as "behind the stage." Coincidentally Penacony also had a dance right now, making the atmosphere perfect.

Of course, there was no evil castle, or grand scheme but it was a fun game. Sparkle dragged you between couples, keeping your bodies forever in a sway. She'd twirl into your arms and rest her head on your chest, tilting her head up with a foxish grin on her face. How precious. You'd let out a laugh, and then bring her into a dip.

Then she'd wring her hands around your neck, keeping it still, but not hurting you in the slightest, and a warm feeling would touch your lips. That... That wasn't right. But you might as well indulge in the moment, your time here was coming to a close. Every dream eventually had to end.

You leaned forward, eyes closed, and mind completely focused on the lips on yours. They were warm and soft, and although at first they'd been rather tentative at your reciprocation they pressed closer and Sparkle leaned closer to you as well.

Black Swan hadn't been expecting to see that. Of all of the things she was expecting today, this was the one she expected the least. Her fingers rested on her thigh as she gazed at the pair which was now dancing again. As much as she wanted to approach she remained stagnant, this event was just about to begin after all.

Even if Black Swan did interrupt even she wasn't sure of what she would say or do. Was she upset that the little lady had kissed her dear? Or was Black Swan upset that you had danced with her little lady. Perhaps, she was just feeling a bit excluded, but she hadn't felt this way since before she was a memokeeper.

Black Swan didn't have time to dwell on her feelings because the next moment your body had been impaled. You lurched forward, pushing Sparkle away as you for some reason tasted water rather than blood in your mouth. You let out a choked cough and crumpled to your knees, barely able to feel the pain. You wanted to run but-- it was all over now wasn't it? You'd never died before.

This hadn't gone to plan, was the first thing Sparkle realized. She might've gotten too distracted by you, and now she paid the price. Your dying face was new and beautiful but, she had a sinking realization she didn't want to see this again. Since this was a dream it'd be fine and her smile came quite easy to her, the laugh came out even easier.

How fun. But if you were dead then the fun would end wouldn't it? It seemed like Sparkle would have to take the stage after all and it seemed like her dear memokeeper was inclined to too.

You woke up, clothes sticking to your body, and jolted out of the water pod. You were alive. That was good, you still hadn't gotten that drink you liked here again. You got up from the pod, pulling your damps clothes off and replacing them with dry ones. What a bad end to a dream, you only had a few days left here too. You eyed the pod nervously, you didn't exactly want to revisit it now either. Maybe you'd leave Penacony a bit early.

Your hand drifted down to your stomach, there was no hole in it. What had stabbed you anyway? It's not like it mattered now. You walked out of your room, face more uneasy than normal. It was a shame you'd be leaving without bidding those beautiful women goodbye.

Before setting off for your next adventure you sat down at the bar and ordered a drink similar to the one you had in the dream world. It tasted slightly sweeter. How nice, even nicer were the lights on the ceiling. Intricately decorated. And the individual next to you was beautiful as well, with long lilac hair.

"It's pleasant to see you again Dear." Her voice was soft and adoring, eyes as sweet as honey.

You blinked in surprise, "Black Swan!" A smile grew on your face, you didn't think she would bother to make herself visible in the real world to you.

"Boo!" A smaller hand rested on your shoulder as a lighter voice whispered in your ear suddenly. You jolted upward, and felt warmth flood across your face.

"Sparkle!" You greeted her with as much enthusiasm as you hid Black Swan, her hands glided across your chest and onto your opposite shoulders holding you in a hug.

Black Swan examined the two of you, a smile remaining on her face affectionately. It felt strange. Like you were intruding on a scene, like you weren't meant to be here. "Little lady, don't go overboard. I'm sure our dear is already feeling overwhelmed after all that's happened." Her glove hand brushed against your cheek.

Okay. You didn't know how to deal with this. When two women out of your league were so physically close. It wasn't that you weren't a catch yourself just, a memokeeper and Sparkle was beyond gorgeous herself. Maybe if you just stayed still they'd go away.

Sparkle poked your cheek and you remained perfectly still. And who could blame you? This was a bit overwhelming. You had just died what felt to be a few moments ago anyway and that... that wasn't pleasant. It was new but for once you wanted to go in your room and just sleep it off, or adventure until you forgot about it or distorted it into a memory of beauty.

"...Hey, you're not broken yet, right? There's so much fun to be had!" Sparkle's voice sounded worried at first before turning into her usual enthusiastic tone. You could feel her breath against your ear, the warmth of her arms around you, and the sudden loss of Black Swan's hand against your cheek.

Black Swan let out a gentle sigh, "I suppose it'd be too much to hope for you to be immediately the same after that." Her gaze was pitying to which you lifted an eyebrow.

"Well having experienced death does that," You muttered, "It'll disappear with time." Your words were nonchalant despite the severity of what had happened, and you shrugged Sparkle's arms off or at least you tried to.

Instead the smaller girl linked her hands around your waist and pressed her face against your back, "Now, that's the spirit!" She cheered, "What should we do next?" She paused, "Oh! Let's get into the Genius Society! I wanna impersonate a genius! And you, can have Black Swan whisper you the answers!"

Ooo that actually sounded pretty fun, the Genius Society even you had never been able to seen behind their walls. Wait-- you had work to do though, work which would thankfully let you see rare sights. Although you were pretty sure your next job was one of the less savory ones, the planet you were heading to was torn apart by war. War was such a disgusting thing, leaving behind only murder in its path. But from all the dead bodies one day would spring flowers.

You could've been one of those bodies. Although you doubted any flowers would be able to grow in the dream pod you'd been sleeping in. Your body wouldn't have even been beautiful in the end. That's what will happen if you get complacent, like you were on vacation.

"That does sound fun," You admitted gazing over your shoulder to Sparkle, "But, my break is over! Things to do, people to meet, you know how it is." Sparkle's arms froze around you and you lightly brushed them off, getting up from the bar stool.

When you went to leave it was Black Swan who stopped you, arm resting on your shoulder, and pulling you close as if to embrace you, "Remember Dear, you have to rest. It's been a lot hasn't it? Would you like me to walk you back to your room?" She offered politely, and you smiled graciously in response.

"Thanks! But, I didn't really pack much. I was planning to just head out, actually. I'm happy I got to see the both of you again though!" You rested one hand on Black Swan's bicep, squeezing it affectionately, and the other on Sparkle's head, gently patting her hair and then running your hand down to her neck.

This had been a fun journey, despite... your death. It wasn't really a death it was in the dream world but maybe whether or not it was real didn't matter. But how it effected you did. So as long as you changed the effect it would be okay. Your dream world death was a new and wonderful experience-- yeah that just didn't sit right with you. The lighting seemed off in the room for a moment as Sparkle jumped up from her chair and walked over to you, presumably for a hug.

You'd been hugged out but it was likely the last time you'd see her, and a bit of indulgence in the warmth she offered wouldn't hurt you. But her knocking you out did.

Black Swan let out an aggrieved sigh, "Did you have to do that?" For once some annoyance seeped into her voice. "I thought you would like the chase," She then mentioned offhandedly.

"It's the most fun part," Sparkle remarked looking at your body on the floor a smile on her face, "But how are you supposed to chase someone's that's dead? ...That ends the game. It'd be great if the fun could last forever! So why can't it?" She let out a laugh, that was less out of amusement and more out of clinging onto the little sanity she had left.

"You're worried," Black Swan kneeled down, and put one arm around her shoulder as your other arm was placed around Sparkle's.

Sparkle turned to Black Swan, still smiling, "Of course! I don't want to miss out on all of the fun!"

You couldn't help but laugh even if it was at your own detriment. It seemed like Sparkle had finally found you, "Took you long enough!" You teased her, the sun remained low in the sky. You forced your shoulders to relax, they were oddly tense.

A bird fluttered above the two of you, resting on a tree branch. "All I hear is a sore loser, I still caught you!" Sparkle's voice was filled with glee as she linked your arms together, "You're mine now, okay!"

"I always have been," You responded to your lover staring at the sun that would forever remain in its Golden Hour, "...You know, I've always wanted to leave home..." You admitted, you wondered when Black Swan would be back. It wasn't quite the same without her.

Thankfully you didn't have to wonder for long as you saw the beautiful woman stepped out of the house. You began to tremble when you saw her. You wondered why... Perhaps out of excitement? If it was anyone else you would've guessed that your trembling was out of fear.

Black Swan walked over to the two of you, practically gliding, "Are you ready to leave now?" She asked you gently, to which your face became alit with excitement, "I suppose Sparkle and I do have to leave soon anyway," Black Swan let out a mellow sigh, "Would you like to join us?"

You didn't think even for a second, "Of course!" You ran to embrace Black Swan, feeling her chest move against yours with every breath.

You'd always wanted to leave the Golden Hour, and to be able to leave with your two new lovers seemed like the best thing that could happen! Perhaps you'd be able to see some fish at the bottom of the sea, or a world die, or some of Sparkle's fun pranks! But you were happiest to stay by their side. That was all that mattered, after all they were the ones who brought light into your life.

Keeping you safe had come at a cost, but all good things require a little sacrifice. You'd still be the same person just without the same parts, well memories. It didn't matter anyway you'd have plenty of memories to replace the ones which had been altered and lost.

Black Swan would fill you with more honeyed memories and Sparkle would bring color to them all.

A free bird sings better than a caged one. And even though the singing was exactly what attracted them in the first place, it'd be better to keep you safe, right where they can see you. But if that bird stops to sing then maybe they'll have to let out. Or make it believe that it was let out by keeping it in a dream. So that even once it wakes up from the dream it'll still believe it's free.

ANYWAY WHILE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING THIS I SENT IT TO MY FRIEND ALL PEEPOSHY HEY U WANNA READ IT (first fanfic of mine they would have read that isn't about our friends). AND DISCORD DID THE DUMBASS THING OF SENDING IT IN A .TXT SO I WAS LIKE: aw man don't worry about it

anyway this mf reads it anyway scrolling right and left and down bcus the .txt format is SO bad I straight up just copy pasted it idk why discord was being so bitchy. And like-- they read it so fucking kind and nice :) im blessed with good friends

Per usual I am realizing how infinitely shitty I am at writing head canons (everything just turns into a fic) if this wasn't to your liking send a request and I can try to amend it to more just ideas but generally by the time I get started on the first question (what makes them interested in you) it's already a story and I forgot I was answering a request.

My big idea for this one were strongly inspired by how Black Swan remarks that Sparkle is like a child, as she always seems to be craving affection/approval, and that makes her easy to please. Also Sparkle is so hard to write like her dialogue is chaotic but it's like held within a line idk it's weird I was trying to mimic it but I don't think it came out too well. Also I wanted to add more Black Swan x Sparkle but it just didn't work out that way when I was writing it, don't blame me I can't control what I write (you can blame me).

[omghallucinations]

Hey I really like your aspect observations of Ateez's birth chart. The way you explain it is so real and hilarious. Now I have stick to the status quo stuck in my head haha. Could you see what kind of life long partner they will potentially end up with based on their chart? It's really fun to see accurate the birth chart is hehe I feel like you got them down to a t

haha thank you! but wrt any life long partner, not really! i don't think the astrology chart shows the future. i think the chart shows potential. it can show what you may value or fear in romantic relationships, patterns you may have in relationships and like. past-life or subconscious or just childhood issues type things you might have about romance. it can't tell the future though. it's like how the transit of a planet theoretically could mean divorce, or it could mean pressure in a relationship, or it could mean, like, issues with a work or financial partner. it shows energy, but not the outcome.

my sister has been married twice to two totally different people and both times i could have read her chart to be like ohh yes, THIS is who you will marry. there's no exact correlation. like, a partnership isn't a destination for an individual, you know what i mean? you make choices to stay with that person or you make choices to leave. plus, you're not always attracted to the same things throughout your life. that changes too.

i can check out what romantic love patterns or issues look relevant to each of them though! important to note in advance that venus isn't just romance--it's also just relationships with others, aesthetics, anything that brings pleasure, etc, so that's not the only thing at work here.

before going into the full analysis i'm gonna put my basic takeaways for each of them, as a lol or a preview

hongjoong: married to his work and The Aesthetic seonghwa: (meme voice) i don't want somebody in my house yunho: bros before hos yeosang: who the fuck betrayed him in a past life??? wth. san: probably thinks romeo & juliet is totally logical mingi: can this kid catch a fucking break??? at least his sex appeal is off the charts wooyoung: manic pixie dream boys a protective shell for his heart, profits (?) jongho: can't relate, unlike my teammates i am an adult

hongjoong: i think he's more interested in romance as aesthetics than actual romantic relationships most of the time. he admires passion, depth and intensity (venus in scorpio) but values his independence too much to tie himself down early, plus he's fairly picky and often predicts disappointment before it happens (venus and juno in the 9th house, scorpio ruled by mars in virgo in the 8th). he's way more focused on making money and his career and self-expression (mars in the 8th, capricorn energy, saturn, SN in aquarius 1st house). his career and power tend to trump any romantic relationships (venus and juno in scorpio co-ruled by pluto in sagittarius in the 10th/career house). when he does get into a relationship, he can be fairly intense at least sexually and he's loyal (mars in the 8th, scorpio venus and juno).

the questions and themes of his life are pretty focused on him as an individual (the nature of work, dreams, creativity, capitalism??? workaholism, who am i if i do not Produce Work--Capricorn Neptune at the anoretic degree 29 (bfd degree) in the 1st, chart ruler Saturn at 29 Aries) so partnerships are not really foundational--however he needs to build a strong partnership/partnerships and learn to trust other people for his soul to evolve (nn in the 7th house). it's gonna be hard for him to learn that work is not the most important thing in life, and he has to learn to prioritize his partner or partners. he has the potential to really be in a power couple or at least become ride-or-die for his person--again, he needs to learn that he can't just feel this way, he has to also make decisions this way. he does not trust people easily (sn in aquarius in the 1st) so this will probably be later in life.

key words: workaholic, commitment, power, vulnerability, sexuality, critical

seonghwa: ah, seonghwa definitely tends to be single and focused on his career (venus in aquarius, uranus in the 7th, fuckin everything in his 10th house. honestly his intense vulnerability is so hidden and he is so affected by the emotions of other people that he may just feel better being single. his chart ruler is his moon in cancer in the 12th house--would not be surprised if he had psychic abilities lmao. he feels the need to retreat often and doesn't allow himself to lean on others easily.

he may nitpick his way out of any potential partnerships (juno in virgo) and it gives very somebody in my HOUSE???? energy. like he likes things the way he likes things and he's not wiiiiild about compromising. saturn is wilding out in the 10th house, so he truly puts work first and his commitment to some societal conditioning or expectations can really hold him back from acting (conjunct mars) and from self expression (square ascendant)

his venus in aquarius has almost no major aspects--it is essentially unaspected, which gives a planet a special flavor. i like this description--imagine all the planets as a play. you are the play. with the aspects between them they are all working together to do the dialogue, etc. then there is the unaspected planet, just chillin'. very much not part of the play but very much on the stage anyway. this can be at the back of the stage, so his aquarius venus energy is underused, or at the front of the stage stealing all the attention, so his aquarius venus energy asserts itself more than anybody else. tbh i think for seonghwa it is the latter. he feels different from other people and a little detached or abstracted and that colors his relationships.

an unaspected planet is like, insanely obvious to everyone else as a clear like. preoccupation and fascination for the person and pure expression of energy, but the person can't see it. everyone looks at seonghwa and is like, ah yes, someone who is clearly fascinated by unconventional (aquarius) expressions of aesthetics and being (venus) but he's like what?? me?? but i'm so normal and regular! i love normal gender and normal things like that!!! even while we all kind of go... uh... huh... uh-huh...

anyway he wants a perfect partner (neptune in the 7th, juno in virgo) who will somehow never disrupt seonghwa's like. things and life that are arranged exactly how he wants them. but a perfect person does not exist so he ends up single a lot of the time! he's an odd duck for sure and he'll want an odd duck to date, but saturn is really telling him that it's important to be Normal which unfortunately inhibits him a lot (saturn in its fall in aries conjunct mars at home in aries).

yunho: he fears commitment and likes to be in control in relationships, which is honestly a way to protect himself (juno conjunct pluto) and he may build in restrictions or limits to the relationship himself (venus conjunct saturn) probably around work (venus in the 6th house). he fears betrayal subconsciously (venus opposite mars in scorpio in the 12th). he values stability and practicality and probably doesn't talk about any negative feelings he has with his partner, so he will break up very quickly when he starts to get nervy.

his moon is in his seventh house in gemini, so this is a lot of contradictory energy. the moon in the seventh house of relationships usually would indicate the domination of romance over his emotional life, a deep desire for a relationship, sometimes getting married young, but it's all in gemini which really doesn't want the entree, it wants the sample plate. he wants to have fun and chat and flirt and explore and having too many feelings is yucky and boring. in some ways he really wants the stable relationship, but it's in conflict with his subconscious security blanket of individual liberty and freedom and being single basically (pluto in the 1st house). he admires freedom in his partners but also fears it.

hate to say it but there's the potential for toxic relationships here, in whatever form that takes. he has real control issues and the ability to manipulate others--likely unconsciously. luckily he's incredibly personable and friendly (sun conjunct jupiter) and most of the time he is more focused on his friendships and the group in general. in other areas of his life he's fun and fancy free and more of a peace-keeper and practical, sensible, chill person who doesn't sweat the small stuff. it's likely his intense feelings in relationships freak him out so he's likely to keep people at a distance.

yeosang: oh boy he has a real protective coating for his emotions to hide them from others (moon in cancer conjunct IC) and some real intense pain--possible past life issues here--around intimacy and/or betrayal (scorpio chiron at 29 in the 8th house). he has a really hard time saying no to people and this can be difficult in intimate relationships because he's constantly trying to gauge what is better for the group (mars in virgo in the 7th house, south node in aquarius in the 11th). he probably idealizes his partner a little bit too much (venus in leo in the 5th) and can live in a fantasy world (venus opposite neptune) that detaches him from the world in a way (neptune in aquarius in the 11th).

he can get into not very good relationships that have some restrictions and judgment and power struggles (venus square saturn in taurus in the 2nd and trine pluto), possibly that he meets through work (quincunx MC) and his insecurity does not help (venus semisquare sun). he can be a bit passy aggy. still, forming close relationships is the whole Thing of his personal soul journey (venus conjunct NN)--but it's also about learning to assert himself and have balanced relationships.

honestly though i think yeosang is more of the dipping-his-toe in type, probably has a lot of fleeting crushes he never acts on. he can be very flirtatious and tbh people may read him incorrectly and think he's more into them than he is. he's more comfortable single, even if he does have romance in his soul (sn conjunct uranus in aquarius in the 11th, leo venus). that past life baggage is heavy (chiron conjunct juno in scorpio at 29 in the 8th) and keeps him more comfy flitting on a surface level (sun in gemini, chart ruler mars in libra).

key words: idealizing, passy aggy, hesitant, past life betrayals

san: i think it's likely he has many short, intense relationships that he ends up self-sabotaging (south node in the 5th house, leo venus in the 12th house, chiron square venus). serial monogamist vibe. he is romantic, a little ego-centric but passionate and extroverted, in a secretive, deep-feeling and spiritual way (leo venus in the 12th house). this deep spiritual flashy love for romance and kind of love-bombing vibe (although he genuinely means it lmao it's not a tactic) runs into trouble because he has deep pain and past life baggage around romance, partnership, communication, as well as feeling misunderstood (venus square chiron in scorpio in the 3rd house).

he's gonna wanna talk and deeply communicate to get through that (scorpio, 3rd house) but his trust issues both in others and in himself (chiron, south node in aquarius) means he often bails too fast or subconsciously causes unnecessary arguments to get out (jupiter opposition scorpio mars in the 2nd). still he is optimistic and exuberant about love, sex and intimacy and is always ready to jump into something new (venus trine taurus jupiter in the 8th). he wants intense, all-consuming, romantic and passionate love--but once he's in it he doesn't always trust himself or the other person--sometimes rightfully so, as san likely lets himself be blinded by romantic possibility and others may take advantage of him, or simply not be down with the kind of intensity san brings to the table. (juno in scorpio conjunct chiron).

mingi: mingi's big life thing is a lot about struggling to communicate about his emotions (mercury in cancer at 29 degrees) so this is gonna gum up the works with relationships here. i hate not knowing houses because that can really change everything, but just knowing generally we can still do some work--he is practical but also kind of critical in relationships (venus in virgo) and can overthink everything because of his ideals or dreams of the "perfect" relationship (venus quincunx neptune in aquarius) or him thinking about what else may be out there. venus is ruled by mercury in cancer, so his trouble with communication really affects his relationships.

venus is also in its fall in virgo. when a planet is in its fall, it's like it's in another country where it doesn't know where it is, can't speak the language, doesn't have any currency, that kind of vibe. he'll struggle with this for sure but like anything you struggle with it can become your greatest strength. mingi really has a hard time with interpersonal relationships--romantic and platonic-- and finds it hard to navigate them. he can be critical of other people because he is so critical of himself. he makes judgements of other people quickly and has a hard time letting go of them. his venus is also retrograde--jesus can this kid catch a break??? i also have this--it's not that bad all by itself, mostly just means that you're gonna get things wrong a few times before you get it right and often you'll find your partner when you're a little older--but with everything else, jeez.

he probably has past life trust baggage like yeosang (venus square chiron and pluto), and some early life struggles with rejection and pain. if he's not careful he can become a bit manipulative (venus square pluto) because he usually thinks he's right (pluto in sagittarius) and honestly things often turn out in his favor (pluto trine north node) so that enforces the belief.

on the flip side of the manipulation, there's the potential for mingi to get into toxic relationships with people who treat him badly (juno conjunct chiron) or he may hurt them in return--though with both chiron and juno trining mercury in cancer i would assume it would be vulnerability to believing and empathizing with someone who may not deserve it because they nurture him and he wants badly to be nurtured. like with everything, there's the potential for either. pluto and lilith exactly conjunct at 7 degrees, very loosely conjunct chiron and juno and square venus -- there is a ton of sexual energy and the potential for power and pain, also seen with mars at home in scorpio.

every time i look at mingi's chart i'm like "oh jesus chriistttttttt bro give him a break" but hard charts often mean you turn out to have wayyy more depth and wisdom as you get older and tbh i prefer someone with a difficult chart to someone with a quote unquote easy chart.

wooyoung: ahh. oh boy. people like him and he likes people (venus at home in libra in the 1st) but how deep does he allow it to be? honestly he has a lot of fears and hangups around intimacy. he tends to jump into relationships and then keep the person at a distance either because of his career or his large friendship group/multiple romantic relationships (jupiter in aries in the 7th house square mars exalted in capricorn, juno in the 3rd). tbh he has a tendency to play manic pixie dream girl subconsciously as a way to keep himself safe from Being Perceived And Therefore Getting Hurt (venus in libra in the first trine uranus in aquarius in the 5th, uranus square mercury and saturn). relationships are a huge part of wooyoung's journey (libra rising, venus in the 1st, SN in the 5th) although he has to learn not to rely on them so much. true intimacy is tricky for wooyoung because he's actually pretty insecure (venus semisquare sun) and fears exposure.

he does genuinely need independence and honestly probably an open and/or polyamorous relationship (uranus trine venus, juno in sagittarius in the 3rd house) but he needs to learn to feel safe at at home and feel safe being Observed and learn to trust others with his very vulnerable and sensitive heart (moon in cancer, moon quincunx mercury). this is all honestly very tricky for him. he does really enjoy the push-and-pull, and also he can suddenly go cold on someone in a way that can stop progress in its tracks (mars at 29 in capricorn 4th house).

a partner is going to have to be smarter than wooyoung to keep his interest--wooyoung clocks it when he's smarter than someone or has someone in his pocket very easily and that will automatically make a person less appealing (mercury in the 2nd square uranus in aquarius in the 5th, mars exalted in capricorn). it's almost like he thinks that if someone is too into him wooyoung actually tricked them into liking him, therefore they don't like wooyoung they like the manic pixie dream boy and/or they like how wooyoung makes them feel, and the person believed wooyoung's trick so that makes the relationship not real and also makes the person too gullible so it's like ugh, never mind, ew. ugh. wooyoung has to learn to accept love. subconsciously he doesn't believe he deserves it (8th house saturn opposite mercury, square uranus, quincunx pluto, square lunar nodes). it makes him look callous or flighty or whatever but the root of the issue is his own feelings of unworthiness.

jongho: hahahaha another #same from me, he has saturn at 0 degrees, which basically is like. when a planet is at zero it is SO EXCITED to ACT OUT THE VIBE that it often overreaches. he probably has the ability to act insanely practically in a way that someone would be like oh my god, so COLD, so HARSH, but it's not meant that way at all. although he truly can dispassionately make a choice. he can go cold on people though. his venus is in scorpio (he's passionate, loyal, intense) which is ruled by his mars in virgo (can be critical, picky, discerning). venus in scorpio is also venus in detriment so like, he definitely can be passionate but he's gonna express love in sort of a sideways way sometimes.

his venus is trine his north node and sextile his south node which means that relationships with other people are essential to his soul's growth and journey--which is moving from capricorn to cancer, from sort of ruthless practicality, career, workaholic, anxiety, to accepting his deeper emotions, sort of like moving from society to home.

he likes people who are doing their own thing (juno in aquarius conjunct uranus) and are just as independent as he is (venus square uranus). he doesn't want someone who is clingy. tbh he's not like. the most nurturing individual, surprise surprise (juno conjunct uranus). however relationship things often work out well for him (venus exactly trine nn) and even though he can be pretty logical at all costs, it's not a tyrannical thing really. he has pretty good judgment (saturn trine neptune), if a little attached to societal conditioning.

lmao truly hate to say this but it's possible he has a sort of madonna whore thing with partners (juno opposite lilith) he'll have to get over. it can be a madonna whore thing within himself also--like he can be in a relationship with someone or he can be a freak in the sheets, but not both at the same time. sex and intimacy can be separated.

overall jongho seems like the one who fears true intimacy the least (except for san, a freak in the sheets and streets) although he also genuinely isn't a super emotional person (MOON AND ASCENDANT AFFECT THIS SO IDK FOR SURE)--just kind of an anxious or tense one at times.

[nonnymousehouse]

Della/Launchpad Ship Meta

I feel like people should talk about the things they like more often, especially when it comes to ships. Meta isn't very common anymore and shipping manifestos - essays written by fans talking about why they love the ship that they do - appear to be a dead practice.

I wrote this short mini essay for the Delpad Fan Club here on Tumblr and later posted it on AO3. I may write more in the future. As for other places with Delpad meta, you can check out Kirbtaro's fanblog which contains all of her Delpad meta over the years.

If you disagree, that's okay! All I ask is that you be respectful and read with an open mind. This is fandom, after all. The whole point is to play with possibilities in a fan space!

Simply put, these two have so much to learn from each other and, in many ways, are the only two who can help one another. You can try to put other characters in their place, but it won't work.

One of Launchpad's greatest insecurities is rooted in how he isn't a traditionally taught pilot. A lot of his skills come from learning on the (ahem) fly. Della is traditionally taught and works hard to be the best at everything. The idea that she could fail and fail hard upsets her.

Her greatest source of trauma is when she crashed on the moon - due to her own folly. She may have the practical skills to land a plane, but when pushed into an emergency situation, she didn't know how to handle an emergency crash. To Launchpad, this would be second nature to him.

While the show does have Della teaching him how to land a plane and Launchpad teaching her how to crash properly, I feel like the show didn't really delve into what a big deal this is for both of them. The two of them are healing their deepest sources of trauma through the others' skillsets. It would have been fun to see the two of them acknowledge that.

If Launchpad had taught Della how to safely crash from before, she wouldn't have lost her leg. If Della taught Launchpad how to properly land a plane, it would help him overcome his fears of not being good enough.

Launchpad admires anyone who can get back up from their setbacks and Della Duck is firm in her belief that nothing can stop her! The things that LP loves about the Sunchaser (when he was chatting with Beakley in Last Crash) are the same exact qualities that Scrooge compliments Della on when he sees her leg.

While the show may never directly acknowledge it, the two need each other to become the people they most desire to be - to be their most complete selves. Launchpad is an outsider to the family but desperately wants to be a part of it. Della is a part of the family but, due to her past, feels like an outsider. If these two work together, maybe they can find a solution that makes both of their wishes come true.

And, well, wouldn't that fit the theme of found family? Webby is also an outsider who longs to be part of the McDucks and her reward is to be Scrooge's protege - the successor to his fortune. Launchpad's feelings as an outsider of the McDucks never really changes - his consolation is that he has to find a new family for himself. Which never sat right with me - surely he can have the Mallards and the McDuck/Duck family as his families at the same time? The show outright states that he continues to work for both Scrooge & DW at the same time after Let's Get Dangerous.

If Launchpad were to, say, marry Della, he'd get to be an official member of Scrooge's family, just as he's always wanted. He'd essentially be Scrooge's son-in-law (or, well, nephew in law). Kinda like how being Scrooge's daughter allows Webby to be the "fourth nephew" - which is what Webby has always wanted.

[shiut]

Both danganronpa and even rain code have this underlying but incredibly persisting theme of the cognitive dissonance between one's personality vs their own nature that I can't help but think about a lot.

In my head I tend to call it the "Leon paradox" because he's the first and most obvious character I think of in regards to this, though he's far from being the only one. Despite being an effortlessly talented baseball prodigy, he dislikes doing it and his actual passion is becoming a musician. However, he's pigeonholed into doing something he doesn't enjoy simply because he's good at it and it's a means to an end since it's his only way of getting anywhere.

This gets expanded in dr2. Imposter's dissatisfaction with having to always be someone else. Akane not caring about being a gymnast much at all aside from the perks it gets her. Nagito's disdain for his luck talent that brings him constant misery while also acknowledging that it's the one thing about himself that he can count on the most.

It even becomes a focal point with Hajime, who did everything to fight his nature of lacking a talent. However, Chiaki points out that it's the fact that he has no specific talent that gives him more freedom than any of the ultimates that he admires. Turned out, gaining every talent put Hajime into his own prison, and it's his loss of personality that made him essentially useless.

Even in V3 you have Kaede who actually loves her talent so much that she feels like it's an obsession that affects her ability to socialize normally. Kokichi also seems to have brief moments where he acknowledges that his talent is a huge barrier to being able to actually connect with people and causes his loneliness, but decides that it's a compulsion that's too troublesome to change so he just accepts it.

Shuichi sticks out to me when it comes to this theme. He's extremely good at detective work and will often do it on impulse regardless of reward. However, even just stumbling on his first murder case and solving it before the police could even touch it, he could not cope with the results of the person he'd affected. His emotional sensitivity traumatized him into being avoidant, even using a hat as a literal blinder. He was prepared to die in the first trial in fear of revealing the truth. His compulsion to do detective work even kind of ruined Kokichi and Kaito's plot in ch5, as he got so ahead of himself with revealing the truth that just kind of blurted everything out before realizing that he shouldn't have. His compulsion with detective work even seems to make him comparatively calmer and more focused during investigations than the other protagonists, despite easily being the emotionally weakest-willed out of all of them. He repeatedly keeps falling back into his talent despite the emotional toll it has on him because he just can't help himself. He kind of acts as an example of one of the reasons why Kyoko was trained to be emotionally detached.

Jin actually is very much like Shuichi. He tries to actively avoid detective work because he despises the emotional detachment required for it. You wouldn't even know that he's actually really good at it, but you see glimpses into his skill in the novels where he'll end up figuring things out before even Kyoko does on more than one occasion. I can talk a lot about Jin, but I do get the feeling that one of the reasons why he works at Hope's Peak is because he knew more about what would end up happening there than he let on. He probably could have gotten quite a few things done if he wasn't so insistent on fighting his own nature as a detective.

Very honorable mention to Yui, who turned down an invitation to Hope's Peak for her high-jumping talent in order to pursue her passion as a very mid detective. She might've even lived if she went to Hope's Peak because I'm pretty sure she would've graduated by the time of the tragedy, but at least she died in the most based way possible by rejecting them.

And of course, Junko is a prime example of the detrimental effect of talent. Because of her analytical abilities, she can practically guess everything that's going to happen. Her obsession with despair is a desperate attempt at being mentally stimulated in a society that has let the status quo stagnate to such a critical degree that it's the reason why the very concept of talent had been rotted to this point. Sorry to Kodaka, who has repeatedly said that Junko is meant to be a truly evil villain with no motivation, but he did kind of accidentally give her a motivation in dr0 where we're shown for a fact that without her memories and ability to analyze, she's relatively normal and tame. That is her nature, just a kind of weird girl who wants to be a tradwife and go grow corn somewhere. However, I think it can be argued that what is meant by "pure evil with no motivation" is that she doesn't have any sort of tangible tragic backstory. You can even say it's not her analyst ability alone that caused her madness, since there's plenty of normal non-world-ending analysts. It may simply be that her personality happened to mix terribly with her talent, and that's the nature of what makes her pure evil, because both of those aspects of her are part of her nature that she can not (nor does she even want to) control despite the misery it causes her. She simply learned to love the misery.

Makoto himself is very clear about being bitter about his luck. For the most part, what's apparent to him is that it causes him constant trouble and the good that it actually does for him is so subtle and disjointed that he doesn't even realize it's his luck. However, I think what makes him different from people like Nagito or Junko is his personality. He doesn't obsess like they do, and his optimism makes him bounce back easily. I think his luck even feeds into his personality and, inverse to Junko, it's the unpredictability of his luck that makes him hopeful and optimistic. Since he never knows what's going to happen to him, he had to develop a way to roll with the punches.

The aspect of personality vs ability also carries over to rain code. The master detectives are people who have innate psychic abilities that are seemingly based on their nature, and then it gets refined and specialized based on their personality. Not only does their personality help to refine these powers, but you see that their personalities and abilities often have detrimental impacts on each other.

Halara can't see living things in their postcognition because they aren't good at looking at people. Pucci's ability makes her hearing so sensitive that it's at least partially caused her emotional detachment. Melami not only likes fashion so much that she must wear the clothes of someone to use her power, but she also has to actually like the clothes too. Vivia is constantly fatigued and has depressive tendencies due his tenuous attachment to his spirit.

Former Number One/Makoto are a great example of this sort of destructive feedback loop of cognitive dissonance. You can infer that their empathy and obsession with helping people is what gives them the ability to use coalescence and share anyone's abilities, yet it's the fact that they can do anything that makes them feel like they must do everything. Ironically, the fact that they've convinced themselves that they must do everything makes their ability essentially useless because they end up only working alone. As a result, Former Number One became detached with every emotion except for his obsession, and it's what caused Makoto to ultimately spiral.

[ghostwise]

Happy New Year, 2025 💖

In 2024 I started a new job and faced some changes with my health that are unfortunately life-long. But while the horrors persist, so do I. Friends, I hope you can find some comfort amidst the relentless passage of time. I hope joy and good health find you and the people in your life. I wish you love, creativity and fulfillment in 2025.

This year brought me a few new OCs which was fun to explore in art and writing! (Happy Birthday Zirahuén, Aya, and Lirio 🎂) I wrote over 50k words. I participated in the May Writing Challenge and was fortunate to participate in the Dragon Age Annual mini zine. I posted 4 chapters of Matacuervos, averaging an update every three months. My goal is to double that in the coming year. 🍀

My favorite piece this year was written for the Dragon Age Annual. It's a Garahel-centric fic based on this year's theme, Legacies, and the digital project is available for purchase here!

Thank you for sticking around! 🥹

Fic summary by month under the cut:

January :: the little deaths of Zirahuén Acendrar

“I wanted to come back here because this is the only safe place for us,” she says softly. “Safe from the Shadow-curse. Safe… from the blasphemous magic at the inn.” Her voice shakes for a moment, but she composes herself quickly, ending in a soft lilt. “Safe from it all. We can be apart from all of that here and just—”

Her breath catches and she looks away. A sharp twinge in her hand reminds her to watch herself, but as of late the pain is but a shade of what it had been in the past. A sign that she is getting closer to some revelation. To the truth.

She’s so close to figuring it out. Closer still for Zirahuén’s part in all this, whatever it may be.

Gods, it frightens her sometimes.

February :: [Job Transition Void]

March :: [Job Transition Void]

April :: kiss prompt

“I’ve proved—so changeable. Everything I ever claimed to be or believed to be true was false! At best I can claim ignorance. At worst, I am a liar and fickle as the moon—”

“Shadowheart, no one thinks that of you,” Zirahuén tells her earnestly. “You did something admirable. Our victory would have been impossible without you.”

“Silver linings,” Shadowheart says bitterly. “And believe me, I am glad for my deficits if they led to you being alive and well. But face facts, Zirahuén: I lived my whole life devoted to Shar, and threw it away in an instant. What’s left if I so easily threw away my whole identity? Who’s to say I won’t do this again? To our allies? To you?”

May :: playing with the other's hair while cuddling prompt

There is a cowlick behind Zirahuén’s left horn; a tuft of hair growing boldly in opposition of its counterparts. It hurts if brushed into shape, sensitive to any touch. Perhaps that is why it so often builds up with thick patches of psoriasis, which flake and crack and even bleed at times.

“Te curo,” Shadowheart whispers at it. The open wound closes up.

“That’s the best,” Zirahuén sighs, as the magic settles at the roots of her hair.

“Your scalp looks good,” Shadowheart says with a smile. “That was all of it. The rest is very clean.”

June :: matacuervos, ch. 4

The sun bore down like a dagger. They’d spent all day searching for leads, visiting brothels and orphanages across the city with the same story: that they were tracking down a long-lost relative.

It was not entirely a lie. Zevran felt a genuine kinship with the workers of Rialto’s brothels; they had raised him, after all, and just like anyone else in the city, they sought only to make a living, to raise enough coin to build a life. But they had few protections when things went wrong. A single misfortune—a death, an illness, or an arrest—was all it took. When children were involved, it spelled grim consequences.

They had yet to find any tangible evidence, but many of the brothels had reported curiously similar anecdotes: a generous donor, a charitable organization, or an anonymous do-gooder who arrived to adopt the forgotten children. The offer would come with uncanny timing, often just when it was needed most. And who could argue against one less mouth to feed?

July :: matacuervos, ch. 5

“The Crows pay you a pittance for their recruits. Do you know how many end up dead? Do you remember my friends?” He hissed. “I was the only survivor!”

“If—if that is true I am truly sorry.” She cringed, face wet with tears and spit. “It was not supposed to be this way. But I can help! I can find you the best lawyer in Antiva! You don’t need to hurt me! Please! I’m sorry I chased you off, I didn’t know why you were here!”

Zevran shook his head. “Why else would I be here?”

“I… I don’t-”

“What are you hiding from me?”

Her defenses had crumbled. She stared at her reflection in his blade, and took a breath.

“I processed the payment that undid your father, boy.”

August :: Ten Hours, Five Coppers - a Dragon Age Annual Zine fic!

Repairs are underway since the storm swept through our home. Believe it or not, shemlen visited yesterday, offering work. The pay is low, but regretfully I am considering the offer. A man cannot get by on goodwill and flour alone.

We’ve heard tell that the Circle is sending mages to help—in the shemlen cities that were affected. I understand the knight-commanders’ priorities. But we could use all the help we can get in the alienage.

And it would be agreeable to see you once more, sister.

September :: matacuervos, ch. 6

“What does it matter who you deal with, so long as you get what you need?”

“I suppose you want me to hand all that money straight to your hands, elf?” He gave a dry chuckle. “But do not worry! If what you say is true, then we’ll talk again soon.” He paused and gave him what was no doubt meant to be a lecherous smile. “Maybe we could talk alone then, you and I. Being as you are such an enterprising young man we could work out an agreement of our own. What do you say?”

The suggestion did not escape Zevran, and he nearly bristled; once he would have leaned into it, using it to manipulate his target, but it was all too crass in these circumstances.

“Unfortunately,” he said, “that won’t work for me.” 

October :: kiss prompt

“Careful!” Hamal hisses.

“I’m fine!” Zevran says. “Ah, but how thrilling this is. Just air and branches between us and certain death!” Giggling now in dizzy mirth, looks up at Hamal. “Did I worry you, my Warden?”

Hamal stares at him, silent for a moment. He grips the branches in his right hand, squeezing, then leans down, pressing a measured kiss against his lips.

November :: what are we? moment prompt

“You know,” Lirio hums as he and Harding pore over the charts and annotations, “I heard a rumor from a Dalish friend of mine. He said he once saw a volcano that had formed new islands around it. He said this happens from time to time, but when there is a lyrium vein inside the volcano, curious things start to happen. The islands pop up fast. The Fade gets weak around them. There is a lyrium trade in the area.”

“So… look for volcanoes on islands?” Harding suggests.

December :: matacuervos, ch. 7

“Proof or no, you will go to jail!” Nadia told her. “And still, there will be no guarantee that the guard will care, or do anything to help. What’s the point of that? I have worked this brothel for thirty years. This is how things are. A whore can be replaced.”

“The way things are must change. This is my life.” Rocio, unmoving, let out a hiss of air. “If it makes even a little bit of difference, I have to try.”