#and Eddie also says something like “I wish I found help you buck” and as soon as he days buck’s name buck is hard as a rock and almost comes

[thatbuddie]

season 8 premieres and we get a parallel scene of eddie telling buck he can’t have sex with marisol and he’s pent up but this time it’s buck telling eddie he’s having problems getting it up because tommy keeps calling him evan when they do it and buck can’t stop thinking about his parents and maddie.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, hi, hello, here I am again to sound insane about buddie. First, is this speculation? A meta? A canon adjacent fic idea I don't have the skill to execute? Wishful thinking? All of the above? I'm not sure, I just saw a pattern and my brain came up with something very elaborate that I will now tell you about. Also, maybe read this first because that connection is the one that pushed this into place, and if you want more thoughts on Buck and death.

So, if you're new here, I live in a delusional land called they casted Ryan with a plan that recently added a neighborhood called did they tell Ryan Eddie is Buck's endgame? so I'm always looking for something to prove me right because I refuse to believe someone accidentally set up what could be the slow burn to end all slow burns, and I found an interesting pattern after watching Abandon ‘Ships and things escalated. 

But the thing is that Buck and Eddie's relationship is tied with the concept of death. Both of them have very intricate relationships with death individually, but together too. I was thinking about the “we might end up real close” as the very dark joke Buck was actually going for, with the way if that grenade had gone off, there would be no telling them apart in the blast, but it got me thinking about the way Buck is signing up to die with Eddie. They both walk into that ambulance knowing they might very well not walk out, and the fact that they did, is what makes them bond. The wording of “you can have my back any day” is very interesting to me because Eddie is not saying “I will take care of you” he is saying “I trust you to take care of me” and that's a real intense thing to say to the coworker who was picking a fight with you half an hour before. But they bonded over a promise of keeping each other alive that they were forced to keep over and over again. 

And a lot of major changes in their relationship start with a deadly situation. They could have died pancaked on that building after the earthquake, and after that Chris got introduced into their dynamic. The truck explosion had Eddie reversing into being a medic to treat Buck even though it made more sense for him to be using his strength to help lift the truck. The tsunami started the realization that Buck loves Chris like he is his kid, and also had Eddie explicitly affirming the trust he has in Buck. The well made Eddie change his will. That warehouse fire on Buck Begins, Eddie is the first one to Buck's line and he's also waiting for Buck after he gets checked out. Buck saved Eddie's life during the shooting, the will reveal also established how well Eddie knows Buck. They got held at gunpoint together and Buck's automatic reaction to the gunshot is to run towards it because Eddie might be in danger. Buck broke Eddie's door down to help him after his breakdown that was triggered by death, and Buck also had a moment where he thought he would be finding Eddie's body. And Buck actually gives Eddie hope after it all by giving Eddie a good thing about the situation that led him to get shot. 

We established this pattern, but I want to talk about the lightning in more detail because, unlike any situation before, Buck actually died. Eddie doesn't hesitate to go up what's basically a wet lightning rod to get to Buck after the strike even though he had been thrown off the truck, Eddie also performs CPR even though he was driving the ambulance, and it is Eddie shocking Buck that gets his heart beating again. It's almost as if he was, I don't know, welcoming him back to the world of the living? (Ba dum tss lol this is mostly a joke but please keep this in mind)

So we have Eddie literally bringing Buck back from the dead. But Buck is not ready to deal with the consequences and implications of what happened to him, which is understandable, I guess, with his relationship with life and death, but Buck not dealing with it makes it so Eddie won't fully deal with it either. 

Buck is a passively suicidal savior baby and Eddie is a widower. If Daniel didn't get sick Buck wouldn't have been born and Eddie is the last one standing. And that's a lot about how they deal with death. Buck acts as if he's not looking for death but doesn't mind if death finds him and Eddie is burdened by the people he couldn't save. And the thing with Buck's death is that Buck realized that he does care if death finds him and Eddie thinks that since Buck is alive, he doesn't get to feel the grief for the time Buck was dead, not fully at least. 

So they were at a very interesting point where Eddie is constantly around Buck, and is the place Buck runs to when he gets overwhelmed, and Buck is extremely off balance over the fact that he did die this time and he's not sure how to feel about it. But since Buck wasn't ready to look at everything about his death, how he felt about it, how it affected the people he loves, how it took away his coping mechanism when it comes to being in danger since his reaction was always “but I didn't die” or “I didn't get the worst of it” because he did die and he did get the worst of it, so Buck finds a safe place to hide where he can look at his death through the eyes of someone who wasn't affected by it. 

I was always curious about why the cemetery scene happened in a cemetery. Why Buck and Eddie are visiting the grave of someone who didn't die on their watch. Why a conversation about Buck's feelings about death and wanting to forget it happened, happened in a cemetery. And the location of the conversation ties the conversation to the concept of death in the broad sense that keeps tying Buck and Eddie together. Not considering the breakup aspects of the conversation, the cemetery scene is actually about Buck running away from the way death made him feel, he is drawn to this person who thinks death is cool, so he won't have to see his death as a tragedy and now I also think there is a layer about making Eddie realize he needs to let Buck accept what happened before he can help Buck past it. 

In the locker room, Buck is talking about death as something that got boring since it was all Natalia ever wanted to talk about. We will never know the original plan for that relationship, but considering the focus on her being a death doula, I feel like that was always the point, put Buck in a space where he can look at death as something that's not scary anymore. But the scene also ends with Eddie welcoming him back to the world of the living. Eddie has ridiculous survival skills, Buck survived a lot, yeah, but Buck always ends up in these life-or-death situations by accident. He choked on bread, the bomb wasn't aimed at him, the blood clots were a very unlikely complication of the surgery he had on his leg, the odds of getting caught in a tsunami are ridiculously low, and he got struck by lightning. Eddie was out at war, he was targeted by a sniper, he saved his own life on the well, and he tries to pull people out with him. He has now learned to live with the way everyone he saved on that chopper died, but he even blamed himself for the one guy he couldn't save that time. Eddie is not afraid of death, but he is afraid of being the one left alive. Buck on the other hand is almost afraid of what it means that he is alive. So Buck's passively suicidal tendencies, something that Eddie deeply understands about Buck “you act like you're expendable” are something that scares him. Because pre-lightning Buck doesn't really care if he is alive. And since Buck wasn’t ready to talk about what dying did to him, Eddie doesn’t know that Buck now may want to actually live. He doesn’t know that Buck chose to come back, that he fought for it. 

But if death is now something boring, Buck can actually do something about being alive because he wants to. He can actually be in the world of the living because he wants to be, because he believes he has the right to be. He can actually find a place where he doesn’t believe his life matters less. 

And when it comes to Eddie, with the focus on Shannon that we got recently, he can also find a space where he’s not trying to find her. Accept that she was a big part of his life, accept he will always miss her, and find something new. 

Oliver and Ryan have been talking a lot about vulnerability and Buck and Eddie leaning on each other, and with the locker room conversation, their relationship with death individually and together, the fact that the cruise disaster is on the horizon and while we know Buck and Eddie were filming in cruise and out in the sea they are barely in the promo of it, my own Buck will drown speculations (you can read about that here), and the general they will be in danger on the cruise feelings, I think that could mean Buck and Eddie are moving to a place where they could be a couple that works. There’s a lot of talk about the friendship aspect of their relationship and we’ve seen that a lot in the first episode already, but they are chilling in this space where they can talk to each other freely, and getting Buck to a place where he wants to be alive for himself not for what he can offer other people and Eddie to a place where he accepts the people he couldn’t save without it narrowing the way he deals with his relationships. I talk a lot about how Eddie overcorrects, and one complaint Shannon had was that he wasn’t all the way in with her, so he goes too fast with Ana and might be doing the same with Marisol because he’s trying to fix that mistake with someone else, but accepting that what he has with Buck is its own thing that works, and all he needs to do is be open about what he wants could be the push that puts him in the path of loving Buck fully, the same way Buck just goes along with things because he mostly believes he shouldn’t be alive, so why should he want things, so to have Buck get to the place where he realizes that he has what he wants right on his reach, he just needs to ask for it is ideal. 

I made this edit not that long ago, and it’s almost a poem, about how Eddie doesn’t think what he has to offer is enough, so he won’t say what he means, and Buck thinks he needs to settle for what he’s offered, so he won’t ask for more, and how that’s an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force, and they need to move off that impasse for that relationship to work. And being in the world of the living together and finding the little things that make them happy along with all the tragedy that surrounds them, can put them on that path. 

Their whole relationship is about keeping each other alive, Eddie straight up offers Buck a reason to live, why can’t they just find a way to make each other feel alive?

I said up there about how Buck signed up to dying with Eddie by going in that ambulance, and with everything about Buck, Actually (i recommend you read this for Buck actually thoughts about buddie) and how he latched on to the way Thomas and Mitchell died together after hearing about the life they had together, it's important for Buck to realize that point is not to die together, but to have the life together, and I feel like Buck is in the path to understanding that, and Eddie is ready to be happy, this could be it.

They could be learning to be alive together and finding out they want to be together.

As always, if you read this, I love you 💜

[mastercherry]

This is for my Buddie friends. My buddies, if you will.

I'm recently super in love with Eddie and Buck are already married when Buck joins the 118 and it just never comes up. Or they don't believe him. Or I don't know. It doesn't matter. Whatever the reason, the 118 fam and friends don't know that Buck is married. I've been reading fics like this recently. They're fun.

But there also aren't very many of them. So, first of all, if you have any recs, please send them to me.

Second of all, I had to come up with my own idea for something like this so keep reading to see what it is.

Trigger Warnings: canon typical violence and abuse (Maddie and Doug plus Buck), life threatening situations typical and atypical to the show, witness protection, Eddie potentially thinking Buck is dead so maybe tempory character death, and I think I'm going to make it where the Buckley parents are killed in a car accident or something. I would tag more things if I actually wrote this or anything.

So. Let's start at the beginning. Evan and Maddie Buckley are living with their parents when Doug comes into the picture. Maddie is so in love with him, it's a little concerning. At least, according to her parents. They are very adamant that she needs to stop seeing him.

She doesn't. She fights them tooth and nail to be with Doug. Her little brother Evan is torn between supporting her and agreeing with their parents. But he's young. He doesn't understand.

Sadly, their parents are killed in a car accident. Maddie fights to keep Buck and she's able to become his legal guardian. Doug becomes the dad Buck always wanted. For a while, it's good. It's great even. They're a small little family, but they're so, so happy. It's amazing.

Until it isn't. Until Doug shows his true colors. He gets so angry so fast. And might be young but he's not stupid. He knows that Maddie is hurting. So he starts acting out. When Doug is mad at him, he leaves Maddie alone. That's all that Evan cares about. If only he could do more. But for Maddie, he can at least be the one who ends up in the ER. Not her.

But Maddie can't let him keep doing this. She has to protect her little brother. They live in this horrible limbo for a few years until Evan is 18. He crashed his new bike that Doug bought for him. He's going to be so mad. He has to warn Maddie. Or maybe... maybe he can convince her to leave with him.

"You and me, Maddie. Come on. Let's go. Just the two of us."

And she wants to leave. She does. But she knows that Doug won't let them. Won't let her. But she agrees. She knows what she has to do. The next day, she watches him leave in the Jeep. She's battered and bruised, but watching him leave actually feels like a weight lifting off her chest.

Evan travels. He goes everywhere he can, trying to find somewhere he belongs. He worries about Maddie every day and sends post cards to her work so she knows he's okay. She holds onto them like a lifeline.

Evan eventually ends up in Texas. That's where he meets Eddie. Helping out on a ranch. It's hard work, harder than anything else he's done up to this point. But being there with Eddie actually makes it fun. He never wants to leave. He even gets invited over to the Diaz house where he meets a tiny little Christopher. The Diaz family is the one he always wanted. So warm and fill of love. They take him in, teach him Spanish, teach him how to make the best food. Teach him about family.

It's no surprise to anyone when he and Eddie start dating. He keeps Maddie updated through his post cards until one day he gets one in return. He recognizes her hand writing. She says she's so happy for him. And how she wishes she could meet Eddie and his son. But she also says that Buck shouldn't send her anymore cards. How Doug found one and how he had wanted to go to that place and bring Evan back home.

And, well, Evan can't do that. He needs to let Maddie know that he's okay. So every so often him and Eddie take a little road trip to send a postcard to Maddie from somewhere else. Just to let her know he's okay. Plus, him and Eddie are going to get married and she has to be there.

But on the day they're supposed to get married there's no sign of her. He's disappointed but he doesn't let it get him down. He's marrying his best friend. He's adopting a son. His life couldn't get any better.

And then, of course, it all comes crashing down. Maddie's friend at the hospital, her only friend there, calls Evan.

"Maddie hasn't been to work in a couple days. She hasn't called or anything. I'm worried about her."

Evan has to leave. Eddie wants to come with him, but Evan won't have his family anywhere near Doug. And he's coming back with his sister this time.

Long story, short, Evan goes back home to check on Maddie. She's hurt when he finds her and he's already called 9-1-1 when Doug finds them. It's ugly. And they watch Doug kill someone. One of their neighbour's I guess. And the police show up. And they're all rushed to the hospital. And they're met with even more police. And the FBI. Turns out Doug wasn't just the bad guy. He was A bad guy. A bad guy in a whole family of bad guys.

And so Buck and Maddie have to go into Witness Protection until Doug and his family are taken care of for good. Evan doesn't even get to say goodbye to Eddie and Christopher. He just gets carried away to a new place to start a new life.

Alone.

He ends up in Los Angeles, CA. He's going crazy. He can't talk to Maddie or Eddie or Christopher. He can talk to his agent. That's about it. Despite his agents better judgement, he goes out for the fire department. He's too restless to do anything else. He has to help someone. He needs to do something useful. Meaningful.

And that's how Kyle "Buck" Jones joined the 118. How'd he get his nickname? No one knows.

[dangerpronebuddie]

(Hold onto your hoola hoops, folks, I wrote this at 2am after a paper that fought me tooth and nail, so if it makes no sense I'm sorry 😁)

Okay. I can't stop thinking we're in for some Eddie whump. (The whumper in me says we're overdue pero ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ that's beside the point). Anyway. The foreshadowing has been in the making since 4x14, and with them discussing that arc so much, I can't help feeling like they'll bring up something about it. (Under the cut, cause this gets a bit long)

This show doesn't often leave storylines open, so addressing the will again is inevitable. But what would prompt it? Eddie thinks Buck understands it (he doesn't), so why would they need to bring it up again?

They promoted Chris/ Gavin along with the main cast. No other kids were. So why?

You could argue the 7x01 storyline was the reason behind it, but I don't think that line is completely done. The premieres usually foreshadow some events through the season. Bringing up Shannon not only gives new viewers a glimpse into the Diaz boys and their trauma, it sets up something they'll revisit. She's been mentioned a few times throughout the season, and having her be a part of the guilt storyline makes perfect sense and is absolutely beautiful.

Eddie still holds this guilt about their relationship. All these if onlys. He's come a long way in his healing and growth, but it isn't linear, and that loss will never completely heal. He's still looking for that magic, that deep love he had (and still has) for her. He can't move past the guilt he feels about it all.

A coma dream of his own, or some kind of hallucinations, would be the perfect way to get him to forgive himself. How we get there? I'm not 100% sure. But I have some ideas!

1. Trapped dads (thank Anna)

@lover-of-mine can explain it so much better, but we've been rooting for this for ages. We thought they were going to drown Buck this season, but it doesn't look like they're going that way. So, we thought about flipping the scenario. Eddie is the one gravely injured, not Buck. Aborted confession? Possibly! Buck being the sole parent while Eddie is in the hospital? Absolutely. It would bring about so many possibilities. Eddie wouldn't confess to Buck as he was dying, he wouldn't make Buck carry that. But Buck might confess to Eddie as Eddie is dying so he knows he'll die loved. When he saves Eddie (desperate CPR when???) they have to live with what was said in the moment. Even better if Eddie is in a coma afterwards. Bonus points if they're still in their relationships through it all. Mutual pining anyone? Buck will be taking care of Chris in the midst of it all, possibly revealing to T and M that the will exists. The season ends with Eddie awake and healing, knowing how Buck feels. He of course won't say anything because they're still dating other people. Allows for a LOT of pining through s8.

2. Hallucinations (thanks Saturn)

I hadn't really considered this possibility, but @steadfastsaturnsrings brought up a great idea. I tried to find out the specific episode that takes place in the desert, but as far as I've found, they haven't specified. I'm assuming 7x07. Since 7x07 is Ghost of a Second Chance, Shannon could be appearing in that one. And if 7x07 is the one in the desert, then there's a lot of possibilities there too. Heatstroke or snake bite... either could cause hallucinations. Since the writer for 7x07 is likely Taylor Wong (wrote 6x15) then some Eddie and Shannon angst is definitely possible. Any way we look at this, the will could factor in. Eddie can't care for Chris, so Buck steps in. I think something happening in the desert could add some visions focused around his service and we get some very Eddie Begins type scenes that maybe show more positive calls between Eddie and Shannon. We could also possibly get a callback to 6x15 and Eddie's fear of dying alone (and having Buck there with him would prove him wrong. Wishful thinking).

3. God only knows

He gets trapped in a collapsed building? T involved? Sinkhole? Some kind of blood loss? We don't know! But I do know that Juan Carlos Coto usually writes huge episodes for Bobby, Eddie, and Buck (3x09, 4x05, 5x13, 5x16, 6x10 just to name a few). And since he's writing 7x08, which is titled Step Nine, the guilt and Shannon could happen there too. I mentioned in another post (which I can't find, naturally) that Step Nine in AA means making amends, no matter what. So, while Bobby is likely making amends with Amir, Eddie is making amends with himself, Shannon, and his guilt surrounding it. (There's a possible firepilot storyline there, depending on how 7x06 goes but I won't get into that rn).

Any way it goes, Shannon appearing, especially appearing older, will show Eddie all those if onlys he's been dwelling on. It will show him how different his life could've been (parallel to 6x11) and it will show him he hasn't failed. He has nothing to feel guilty about. He's not going to find what he had with Shannon. But he can find something just as deep and meaningful. And it's something Shannon (his subconscious) has to show him. Something he has to figure out on his own, like he usually does. No outside force is going to push him past it, no matter how hard he tries.

Perhaps in that dream/ hallucination, he'll realize he's not a commitment phobe, he's not a failure, he's not a sinner doomed to hell. He's human, and he's found love he's not allowing himself to feel.

Feelings realization (or more acceptance of those feelings) and some delicious pining is imminent. How we get to it? I'm not sure. They usually repeat kinds of injuries so I'm leaning more towards trapping him somewhere, but I love the idea of a snake bite. It's happening to someone, based on the fact they had dangerous reptiles on set (or a prop for it). Any way it happens, it'll be amazing, especially if this happens with it.

[theotherbuckley]

WIP Wednesday <3

Tagged by: @disasterbuckdiaz @jeeyuns @malewifediaz @wikiangela @wildlife4life @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings <3

Ok ok so I feel like everyone (including myself) forgets that Buck running fic and healing fic are 2 separate fics so I'm gonna do a description of both and also give you a snippet from each too under the cut :)

Buck running fic: Set post-season 4. Eddie has recovered from the shooting but Buck's still struggling with his own trauma of literally everything he has faced and he gets nightmares so instead he starts just running at night and trying not to burden anyone with his struggles. Eventual Buddie.

Healing fic: Set season 5 when everyone was leaving and Buck is really struggling and reverts to Buck 1.0 habits but also much worse coping strategies. Buck is really depressed and struggling and eventually asks Bobby for help. This one is much sadder and has some warnings. Also eventual Buddie and healing as a firefam.

Snippets under the cut :)

Buck running fic snippet: More therapy for Buck. Follows from this snippet

“I’m just trying to understand.”

“What do you want me to say? That Eddie found me on the floor crying over nothing and then I had a panic attack because I thought he was dying again and then he patched me up and held my until I calmed down and he told me to see you because I haven’t slept in months because every time I close my eyes he’s dying or I’m being crushed, or I’m searching for his son who I fucking lost?” It all comes out and Buck’s crying again, and he’s getting really sick of this whole damn crying buisness.

Doctor Copeland keeps a straight face through it all. “Eddie’s dying?”

“You know what happened, everyone knows what happened, it was all over the news.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Eddie got shot. Eddie got shot and— I was right there.”

“And what? You wish it were you instead?”

“No— yes, maybe, I don’t know.” Buck takes a deep breath. “Eddie said I’m not expendable, and I’m trying— I swear I’m trying to believe it.”

“He gave me his son.”

“Hm?”

“In his will, he said that if he— if he dies, that I would get Chris, that he wants me to have him, even though, even though I lost him.”

Healing fic snippet:

He’s making out with another girl in his apartment and it feels good and he’s drunk and maybe he’s high? 

And the next thing he knows Eddie is unlocking his door and walking in with some sort of rage written on his face and he doesn’t see him come in, he’s too busy pushing this girl against a wall and taking off his shirt and Eddie coughs and the girl looks up, eyes wide, and she grabs her things and just scurries out looking scared and Bucks yelling “Hey, wait—” and he’s looking at Eddie like what the fuck man? But Eddie still has that look like he could tear his limbs off without blinking.

“What?” Buck says, pissed.

“You blew Christopher off for this? To fuck some woman you just met?”

And Buck freezes. 

“What day is it?” He asks.

“It’s Friday, you promised Chris you’d come over and watch a movie, it’s been ages and you promised. I had to hold him whilst he looked at me with these sad little eyes and asked if he’d done something to make you mad because he thought you were avoiding him.”

“Fuck,” Buck whispered.

“And I called you several times and you didn’t pick up and I actually— fuck, I was actually worried that something had happened to you and I get here and you’re just fucking some stranger and what, are you drunk or something? Jesus Christ, Buck.”

“I’m sorry, I— I didn’t realise that was today I just, I’ve been busy and I forgot.” He didn’t forget about Christopher, it’s just, every day has been blurring together and he’s losing track of time and he could have sworn it was Wednesday today, and what has he done?

“God Buck, I can’t believe you’d do this. To me. To Christopher. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t. I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened but my head hurts and it’s all too much and I’m struggling don’t you see? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

“I’ll make it up to him, I’ll—”

“No. Buck, you’re just, you’re just so, so—”

“Exhausting,” Buck filled in, his eyes watering. 

“Buck–”

“I get it, I’m sorry, I should’ve paid more attention to the date. I think you should leave now.” It’s just every time I look at you all I see is you bleeding out in front of me and I can’t do anything to save you. And it’s all too much. I just want to forget.

“What?” 

“I'm sorry, I am, but I need you to leave.” Please leave, I can’t let you see me break.

“What, so you can bring that girl back and finish what you started? Whatever man, fine,” Eddie huffed, slamming the door on the way out.

If Eddie had been thinking of anyone other than Christopher maybe he would have heard the glass shattering when Buck threw it at the floor. Maybe he would have heard Buck’s cries as he slumped himself on the floor, cutting himself on the shards. Maybe he would have seen how broken Buck was if he wasn’t so angry.

:)

Tagging people for WIP Wednesday:

@fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @spagheddiediaz @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @eowon @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @king-buckleyy @cal-daisies-and-briars @crowleywasagryffindor @evanbeginss @jamespearce9-1-1 @bucksbirthmark @callmenewbie @underwater-ninja-13

@buckdefencesquad @incorrect9-1-1 and anyone else who wants to share wip Wednesday. (Also let me know if I missed you/you wanna be added or removed)

[heart4buddie]

Hindsight: a 7x04 Coda

They say hindsight is 20/20 and Buck understands that more than most. He looks over his life and see his mistakes and failures and wishes he knew then what he knows now. He wishes that he could fix some things caused by his own stupid pride or shame. But this was a new kind of hindsight to him.

At the time Tommy kissed him, all he thought about was how good it felt. How soft and freeing and miraculous it was in that moment. He stands there stumbling through words that get him a date on Saturday. He looks at Buck and Buck almost wants to cross the apartment and kiss him again, but he lets him go.

At that moment all he could really do is think, “well shit.” Finally so many things made sense to him. He hadn’t realized how attracted he was to Tommy until he was virtually telling him about his crush and Tommy had stepped in and kissed him.

It explained why he felt so strongly about Tommy and Eddie being friends when Buck wanted to be close to Tommy first. It explained why he bugged Christopher about Tommy when he had barely mentioned meeting the “cool pilot.” It made sense of everything except the fact that he had hurt his best friend.

Was he really so jealous that he would have purposefully hurt Eddie? Even if it wasn’t intentional it was still his fault for being so aggressive about it. He slammed into Eddie on the court and had seriously injured him.

Buck sat down on the couch. He took a sip of the beer he had opened when Tommy got there and licked his lips. The same ones that had just tasted another man’s for the first time.

His mind was racing. He felt exuberant about Tommy and the first thing he wanted to do was tell his best friend. But his best friend was busy recovering from an injury Buck had caused and according to Tommy was feeling guilty for something that was totally Buck’s fault.

Also what would Eddie think? How could he apologize to Eddie just to turn around and say, “hey I actually also like guys and I kissed Tommy and now we have a date Saturday?” If it wasn’t bad enough that he had injured Eddie now he was going to admit he might have done it because he wanted to kiss Eddie’s newly found friend.

Parts of him were relieved and the other parts were shaking in fear and anticipation. He let out a loud exhale. He had a new truth about himself now. Something that helped shape some of the truths of his past problems. Being Bisexual was something that was so freeing to claim yet terrifying to consider telling one of his friends or Maddie.

He sets the beer down on the coffee table and pulls out his phone. He opens it to the latest text chain with Eddie.

“Hey man. Can I stop by and talk to you?”

He doesn’t press send.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 oh god does maddie think buck is “the other woman”?

She is more concerned that this arrangement will end with Shannon and Buck both getting hurt!

Not quite 102 for 🔼 bc the chapter is just about ready:

---

“You’re right,” Eddie says. “It’s not acceptable. I wish…”

He wishes someone had protected him from his parents' opinions, growing up. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt so much self-loathing figuring this out, otherwise. 

Eddie doesn’t really finish that thought, though. Shannon throws her arms around him.  He’s startled for a moment before hugging her back. 

“Thank you,” she says into his shoulder. “Thank you for being on my side in this.”

“We’re a team,” Eddie assures her. 

“And I’m sorry I freaked out and made you sleep at Buck’s,” she adds.

“Oh, yes. I was very hard done by.”

She pulls away from him and rolls her eyes. 

“I was just worried about you, honestly,” Eddie admits.

“I'll…” Shannon sighs. “I’ll try to explain myself next time.”

“Thank you,” Eddie says. “We can work through whatever it is, right?”

She smiles. “Right.”

“I’m going to go ask my parents to leave now,” Eddie says.

“Really?” Shannon smirks. Yeah, Eddie can see why she’d take some joy in that.

“Really,” Eddie exhales. “I don’t feel like celebrating with them much this year.”

◀️

Buck meets Shannon and Eddie on the stairs to the roof. Eddie must have texted him to say they were coming down. Shannon reaches her arms out for Jane, and Buck hands her back.

“I think I’m just going to take a moment,” Shannon says, hugging the baby close to her. “Compose myself.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. “I’ll go deal with my parents.”

He bends to kiss the top of Jane’s head, then heads down the stairs. To Shannon’s surprise, Buck lingers. 

“You want company or…” He offers.  

Shannon considers. She might say she’d rather be alone, to most. But it’s Buck. Since they first became sort-of-friends in that physiotherapy office, she’s always found his presence helpful, somehow. 

“Company,” she agrees. “Thank you.”

They each take a seat on one of the steps. Buck waits quietly. Not prompting her to speak or asking what happened. Just a sturdy presence. 

Shannon breathes. She works herself through everything that has just happened. Which, overall, she thinks is good. Sometimes it’s hard for her body to catch up to her brain - or reality, more generally - after something upsetting has happened. Her therapist says that’s normal. That it’s something about the sympathetic nervous system or something like that. She doesn’t know. Should read up on that. Either way, she’s still sort of antsy, even though her brain is telling her everything is fine. She tries to focus on Jane, who is looking up at her with Eddie’s eyes, and confused sort of look on her face. 

“Yeah,” Shannon whispers to her. “It has been a weird day.”

“Holidays always sort of are,” Buck adds neutrally.

“No kidding,” Shannon says, thinking of her past three Christmases. Her mom on her deathbed, her reunion with Chris, and now this. 

“You alright?” Buck asks.

“Yeah,” Shannon sighs. “Eddie… I mean. His parents and I have a tough history, but it feels like he’s not going to let them walk all over us this time.”

“Good,” Buck says. “I dislike them on principle.”

Shannon smiles. “Thank you. Stay on my side, the reasonable side.”

Also, the side that doesn’t hate him. But she can let Eddie explain that one. 

“Always,” Buck nods.

Shannon takes a final deep breath and scooches a bit closer to Buck. She leans into him a little, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders. She feels calm. She feels, overall, like some old, broken bone has been reset.

[this-is-moony-lovegood]

6B/7A theory/hope/wish for the BEST possible solution for this whole sperm donor story line that still gives us Buddie.

I’ve touched on this in a previous post, but I think that something is going to happen to Cameron when she is giving birth and she is going to die, and Connor (who is freaking out already about being a parent), will decide he can’t parent alone. Therefore, he is going to safe haven baby style drop off his son (Buck’s biological son) at the 118 (probably with Ravi) with a note and paperwork that gives Buck full parental rights over the baby.

Now, to add to that. I also am under the impression that Buck’s loft is going to be crushed in an earthquake during 6x18. With Kristen saying the couch is in danger (which I think Eddie will also be in danger during the finale, physical couch can be too), I see an earthquake destroying the loft. Buck is essentially homeless at this point, although Eddie tells him that he can stay with him while he is trying to find another place.  

However, when Buck gets the baby, he goes over to Eddie’s because he’d freaking out (and can’t go to the loft). Sitting on the couch, holding the baby, he’s talking to Eddie about how he is unprepared to be a father. Eddie kneels in front of him, places a hand on his knee and assures him that he is going to be a great father because he already is one, to Chris. He also tells Buck that he doesn’t have to do this alone, and that Buck can move in with him, and they can raise the baby together (like they have already been raising Chris together). Buck tries to insist that he doesn’t need to do that, but Eddie tells him something along the lines of, “Buck, remember when you said I could have your back? This is me doing that.”

So 6B ends with Eddie and Chris making dinner while Buck is rocking the baby on the couch, Buck looking at them with the fondest look on his place, telling the baby that he thinks he finally found his couch. So no confirmed Buddie yet, but we know it's coming.

Flash forward while I throw some 7A speculation in there for you. 7A Buddie opens with the baby screaming, Buck and Eddie are in bed together, groaning about whose turn it is to get the baby. It’s been months of raising the baby and dealing with new parenting. This kid of parenting being new to both of them since Eddie missed most of Chris’s early days due to the army. Chris, from the other rooms yells back “I don’t care who’s turn it is, just one of you get him so I can sleep!” Eddie eventually gets up to get the baby. At the firehouse, both Buck and Eddie come in exhausted, and the team remarks on how the baby is still not sleeping through the night. Remarks about HenRen and Madney, and Bathena about them remembering when their kids were young and not doing that, some other line about them being young and newly married with this too (Bathena (with their first marriages), and maybe HenRen).  

Also in this episode, you have scenes where Eddie and Buck are constantly being pulled around the house to help with the new baby, Chris is getting annoyed each time because it happens while Buck is helping him with science project, or Eddie is playing a game with him while Buck is cooking dinner, etc. Either way, Chris is growing resentful at the baby and making comments about it throughout the episode. At first Buddie thinks that it’s just Chris being a teenager, but at some point in the episode, Chris snaps completely telling him how he hates the new baby because Buck and Eddie don’t have time for him anymore. “Buck moving in was supposed to be the greatest news ever. But all It is *baby name* this and *baby name* that! You’re both so focused on the baby that neither of you have time for me anymore!” Then we get Buddifer family chat where Buck and Eddie talk to Chris about the new baby and apologize for letting the stress of the new baby get to them, and how they never meant to make Chris feel like they don’t have time for him, or possibly are replacing him.

Also, with some season 7A speculation about Buddie. If it follows this story line, we also have the team significantly making comments about how Buddie is living together, raising two kids together, but aren’t married. “You’re living together, sharing a bed, parenting not one but two kids together, and you’re not in a relationship? I mean come on; you’re married in every way except legally!” This becomes a huge set of comments throughout 7A and by the midseason finale I think we get Buddie actually talking about it and then we get the love confession, and possibly a shotgun courthouse wedding that we probably only know about because Buddie waltzes in to the kitchen at the firehouse and drops off HR paperwork in Bobby’s lap before getting their own breakfast off the island. Then of course, we have a bet reveal where Hen wins, because logically who else is gonna win it? If there is no wedding, then at least we get happy Buddie for 7B.

There. Done.

I’m thinking about making a fic of this because while I love this and want this, I am not delusional and know this will likely never happen. Anyone interested if I can actually get the words from my brain to the word document?

[teabights]

Nothing Else Matters

Summary: Chrissy Cunningham and you have been best friends since you were born. Your mothers were best friends since kindergarten. As the years go on, you and chrissy become different, but you guys don't let high school tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. When you realize that you are one of the ones who would paused Fast Times at 53 minutes and 5 seconds, you seek advice in your best friend Eddie Munson (which you are also the bassist of his band). You two deal with your new found orientation with the help of Robin and Steve.

Pairing: Chrissy Cunningham x alternative!Reader

Warning: drinking, homophobia (they get called slurs), smoking marijuana

Word Count: 14K+

You stand at Chrissy's locker, waiting for her to arrive at school, of course, all the meatheads don't understand why she would be friends with a freak. Honestly, you don't know how your friendship lasted this long with her. Your mothers are best friends, that's why. They have been best friends since kindergarten and got pregnant at the same time. Chrissy and your birthdays are so close to each other. You guys just shared every birthday together until you guys turned 14, that is when the shift of aesthetics happened. Chrissy got on the junior varsity cheer team. You got serious about your bass guitar and singing. You two manage to balance the societal pressures of high school.

"Hey! I am so sorry. Mom was going off about how they have this big case coming up, and trapped me in the car for a ten minute talk." Chrissy says.

"It's fine. Mom slipped me forty bucks for dinner tonight and tomorrow as she's going to be going on a quick work trip to Indianapolis for two days. She had to drop me off early so she wouldn't hit the horrible traffic." You tell her.

"Ugh, I wish my mom would do that. Of course the rest of the team would want me to buy blow from Eddie with that money." Chrissy says with a small eye roll.

"You don’t…" You start to ask.

"God no. It's disgusting." Chrissy says with a small eye roll.

"Hey Y/N!" Eddie calls out as he makes his way to you.

"Did you study for our quiz today?" You ask him.

"Uh, I came to talk about band rehearsal and you wanna talk about math?" He asks. "Oh, hey Chrissy."

"Hi Eddie." Her cheeks darken slightly as she goes to open her locker.

"Listen Gareth can only practice for like an hour, something about his grandma going to a nursing home and they have to help, so I was thinking that we could just cancel and…" He informs you.

"You can't cancel again. We have that gig coming up." You roll your eyes. "We can get high afterwards like we always do."

"Can I come? Cheer is always over by the time you guys get done. And besides, y/n has the house alone tonight and can order us pizza." Chrissy asks as she closes her locker.

"Listen, Cunningham…" Eddie starts.

"Munson, be nice. You know I would pick Chrissy over you any day and your band needs a bassist and some sex appeal." You snap at him.

"Yes ma'am. I won't cancel… see you at 4?" Eddie says.

"4." You simply say.

Eddie walks away. You look over at your friend who was smiling too much for your own liking.

"You fucking like him, don't you?" You ask.

"Well, he's nice to me because of you. He's always been such a gentleman. He gives me deals when I am the one who has to buy from him. He's very charismatic." She lists on.

"And you blushed when he said hi to you." You point out, realizing that sounded a bit more jealous than you intended.

"So what if I like the freak?" Chrissy asks.

"Nothing… just surprising. And hey, I am glad you don't coke like your other friends." You say.

"Yeah, they've tried to peer pressure me into it and it's hard to turn down, but I do. For you, ya know." Chrissy informs.

"For me? Why me?" You ask.

"Because we pinky promised in seventh grade to never do coke. That is sacred, you know that." She giggles a little bit. She links her arm with yours and starts to walk to class with you.

"That is sacred, you are right." You agree.

"Hey, why don't you invite someone you like over, that way it's not awkward with Eddie, you, and me there." She suggests.

"Uh, I don't know." You shrug your shoulders. "You two are my best friends, that's good enough for me."

"What about Steve? Come on, you said his hair was bitchin' when you met him for the first time at one of his parties last year." She suggests again.

"Uh, I said I liked his hair, not that I wanted to sleep with him." You answer.

"Come on, just go to Family Video and ask him. You never knoooow." She sings out the 'o' sound.

"Ugh, you're annoying." You say.

"I know, but you love it." Chrissy smiles at you.

The day trickles on, slowly, but surely. You had an arrangement with Eddie and Chrissy. Chrissy is your lunch buddy Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Eddie has you Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is Wednesday, so Chrissy's day. You join her for lunch with all her cheer friends. They talk about the boys they find cute and who they are going to hook up with at Jason Carver’s party on Saturday. Chrissy says Jason, to fit in of course. No one bothers to ask you, simply because you already told them you weren't going, even when Chrissy begged you.

"Chris, I have to go tell Eddie something." You get up from your spot.

"Okay, hurry back or I will eat all your oreos." She threatens, which earns an eye roll from you.

You walk over to Eddie’s table. Eddie looks at you confused.

"It's not Tuesday or Thursday." He says.

"Yeah, I know, loser. I am sitting with Chrissy. Anyways, I have to run to Family Video after school. To erm… rent a video for tonight. Do you have any suggestions?" You ask.

"Well, do you really need to rent a video or do you want to see Steve 'the hair' Harrington?" He asks.

"His hair is stupid, why would I?" You start.

"Chrissy told me in science, while we were looking at petri dishes, that you were inviting Steve tonight to smoke with us." Eddie says.

"Fine, I am going to see Steve and ask him to hang out." You say.

"Henderson here," Eddie points to Dustin. "Worships the guy, so he knows if Steve is good or not. I don't need you coming to me to have me sing a break up ballad that you wrote in a month if shit doesn't work with Steve."

"Steve is very cool. He'll like you." Henderson speaks up.

"Thanks Dustin." You mumble as you walk back to your spot.

You sit down next to Chrissy, noticing something is wrong with your area. You look at her as she is licking the cream off the last oreo. She left you nothing but the oreo cookies themselves.

"Cunningham!" You say as you look at your pile of chocolate cookies.

"Oh, come on, you always scrape it off anyways. I was just helping." She giggles as she puts the two cookies down into the pile.

"Yeah, but that usually isn't contaminated with your spit." You say, pushing them back into the bag in which they were stolen from. "Jerk." Your tone was slightly hurt.

"Ah, come on. I'll bring you more when I come over." Chrissy says.

"Nope." You shake your head after you pop the 'p' in a dramatic sense.

"I proooomise." Chrissy says with a slight giggle.

"Chrissy, y/n, stop acting like fags." Missy, bottom left girl on the pyramid, says.

You feel your skin crawl at the use of that word. "We aren't fags, Missy. We've been best friends since the day I was born." You say back.

"Whatever, you guys are acting like fags…" Missy speaks.

"Rich coming from the bottom left of the cheer pyramid. Bottom, ya know, a fag term." You snap at her.

"Y/N! Be nice!" Chrissy says.

"Whatever Chrissy. She's the one calling us fags." You say as you get up, grabbing your lunch things.

You leave the table. You throw your trash. You feel your eyes water up. Why are you crying? You hurry pass Eddie’s table of misfit boys.

"Y/N?" Eddie asks. He notices the upset look on your face. "Y/N?!" He calls out as you make your way out of the cafeteria.

You head straight for one of the practice rooms down the hall. Eddie has followed you.

"Y/N." Eddie speaks as you open the door to a practice room.

"What?!" You ask, tears streaming down your face.

Eddie just takes your wrist and drags you into the room and closes the door behind him. Knowing that the rooms are sound proof, he figures it's a great place to talk. He sits down on the floor, pulling you down with him, having you land in his lap. His fingers wipe your tears off your face. The cold metal of his rings sting your face.

"What's going on?" Eddie asks.

"Missy Dickins called Chrissy and I fags because we were play arguing over oreos. I don't know why, but it just broke me and my heart. Chrissy then defended her, like Missy has been her best friend since Missy was born, like what is that." You say as tears stream down your face.

"She did? Chrissy would choose you over anything." Eddie says.

"Well, I guess… this is it. High school is finally separating us." You say, a crocodile tear ran down your face.

"Hey, come on, don't be ridiculous. You two have a bond that I've never seen before. You two are peas in a pod. Totally different peas. Like… you are a black eyed pea and she's a sweet pea." Eddie tries to help encourage you.

"Yeah, see like that… we are completely different. Like she likes Billy Joel and I worship Joan Jett. She wears dresses and short skirts and I wear stupid jeans everyday." You could spend all day listing the difference between Chrissy and you. "Like, she likes boys and I like her…." Your eyes grow wide as you move a hand to pinch the nose of your bridge. Fuck.

"Whoa… what? You like her?" Eddie asks.

"What? No. I meant that I like g-" You start.

"Of course you like girls. You have told me way too many details about Joan Jett and Cherie Currie." Eddie says with a smile. "And honestly, you've turned me down way too many times, that's when I put the pieces together that we weren’t batting for the same team. Listen, I don't view you as any less and frankly, I don't give a shit who you love. As long as I don't have to sing a shitty break up ballad about someone, I am fine with whatever gets you off."

You feel a small weight lift off your shoulders. Eddie was truly the best man you've ever met.

"Now, if you still invite Steve over tonight, I will help you sell it. When you go to Family Video, ask Robin about Fast Times 53 minutes and 5 seconds. She'll know what you mean." Eddie says.

"Can we blow off next period?" You ask.

"If you think we can sneak out to my van before the bell rings." Eddie states.

"It's on Munson." You say as you stand up.

Eddie scrambles to his feet. You open the door and rush out, he is behind you. A teacher scolds you two for running, so now you two are in a fast walk laughing race, all the way to Eddie's van. He opens the sliding door and you climb in, he's quick to follow and close the door.

"Well?" He asks.

"Do you think in some universe Chrissy might like me back?" You ask him.

"Maybe, she always seems to be talking about you." He shrugs his shoulders.

"We've been inseparable since my birth Eddie, of course she does." You say.

"Tonight, I will watch her body language and her and see how she acts around you fully." Eddie says.

"Thanks Eddie." You respond so genuinely. "So Gareth's grandma is going to a nursing home?"

Eddie fills you in about the insane story about their drummer's grandma, which takes up almost a length of a period. Eddie checking' his watch every 10 minutes. You were able to clean up the black smudges on your face from your mascara at that time. You two end up back inside the school during the passing period. You walk past Chrissy like she was no one to you, which only makes your heart hurt.

"Y/N!" Chrissy says as she follows after you. "Hey, I am sorry about Missy."

That almost makes you stop dead in your tracks, but you keep going. "You know, Cunningham, in that 18 years I've had the pleasure of knowing you, you have never chosen to defend someone over me."

"Come on, you were being a complete bitch." Chrissy says, which then makes you stop in your tracks.

"Excuse me?... Missy started being a bitch first. She's the one who called us a slur, over us play-fighting about oreos." You snap back.

"What has been your problem lately? It's like you've been hanging out with the freak more, that you're turning into one." Chrissy says.

You stare at her, seeing the instant regret on her face.

"Wait Y/N, I-" She starts.

"You know what? We promised each other freshman year, that no matter what happened or who we hung out with that we were always going to be best friends by the end of the day." You are undoing the stupid friendship bracelet she made you as a seventh grader. "But clearly… that was a lie. You aren't my best friend anymore. Give this to Missy, yeah?" You toss the bracelet at her, which she catches. "You're also uninvited from tonight. Good luck trying TO GET IN EDDIE MUNSON'S PANTS NOW." You, of course, take advantage of the small crowd that was watching this show.

"Fuck you Y/L/N." Chrissy says as she walks off.

"YOU WISH." You say before you could even stop yourself.

Well, now, she is never going to want to date you. The fact you wanted to date her is what was fueling this rage towards her. You walk into the classroom, sitting down, hearing a few mummers as you make it to your seat.

Time flies by to bring the school day to an end and you end up at Eddie’s van, waiting for him to escape whatever hell class he has.

"Y/N?" Eddie asks.

You keep rubbing your wrist, missing the feeling of the stupid stringy best friend bracelet. "Yeah?"

"What's up?" Eddie questions.

"Can you take me to Family Video?" You ask.

"Yeah…" he simply answers.

You two climb into his van. He turns the engine over and starts to drive to the video rental store.

"So, I heard about the show that happened in the hallway earlier." Eddie says. "You know, belittling the girl and telling her good luck of trying to get into my pants is not the way of getting her into your own."

"I didn't belittle Chrissy." You respond. "She called me a freak. She never used that word towards me in a derogatory form before. She knew that I hate that everyone calls you that, so when she did, I just lost it."

"Yeah, but now, you aren't speaking to Chrissy at all. How are you going to make her fall in love with you if you aren't speaking to her?" Eddie asks rhetorically.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I am not going to date anyone until we become big and famous rock stars." You say.

"Come on. The difference between you and Chrissy is cute…" Eddie says, not wanting you to give up on this new found thought of liking Chrissy.

"Eddie, please…" Your sentence ends there and you see him nod in understandment.

He pulls up into the parking lot and cut the engine. You two crawl out of the van and walk towards the store. You recognize Steve’s hair right away, swearing it has only gotten bigger. Eddie walks with you, right up to the counter.

"Hey Harrington, my friend here…" he motions to you. "...is looking for Buckley, is she in?"

"Yeah, she just got here like a minute ago, give her a minute. Can I ask why she needs to see Robin?" Steve asks.

"Uh… y/n tell him." Eddie says.

"I paused Fast Times at 53 minutes and 5 seconds." You say, still not sure why you had to say it like that, since you've never actually seen it.

"Oh, no shit? Robin will love to know there is someone else like her." Steve says.

Robin comes from the back, her eyes going wide when she sees you. "Oh shit, Steve, you know how I was going off about the fight in the hallway. It was her, y/n."

"Well, she just told me about what time she paused Fast Times at." Steve says casually.

"Oh, no shit? You two were breaking up?" Robin asks.

"Uh, no… breaking up in a sense of friendship, but…" You are not ready to admit it out loud.

"She has a huge crush on Chrissy and I need you two to help us find a way to make them friends again so she can tell her." Eddie says.

"Huh, Cunningham?" Robin says.

"They've only been best friends since y/n was born." Eddie’s tone is almost mocking how you usually say it.

"Yeah…" You say. "Uh, you guys can come to my place… and then we can brainstorm I guess. Like at like 5:30?"

"We'll be there." Robin says with a smile.

Steve slides you a pen and paper. You jot down the address and slide both materials back to him. Eddie and you say bye then leave the store. You two get back in the van. Engine gets turned over by Eddie and he takes off. You two arrive at the rehearsal space. You didn't want to do all of what was happening today, but Eddie is still incredibly hard to turn down.

The band practices for the quaint hour they had. You've never seen Eddie get straight down to business, he usually goofs off for the first ten minutes. Eddie drives you home afterwards. He cuts the engine when he gets in the driveway. You sigh as you recognize the car that was sitting there.

"Give me like five minutes." You say as you climb out of the van.

You walk to the door and open it. Sure enough, Mrs. Cunningham and Chrissy were on the couch.

"Hey Y/N. Chrissy told me about your little exchange at school." Mrs. Cunningham says.

"Did Chrissy also tell you that one of her friends called both her and I fags for fighting over oreos?" You ask her.

"It doesn't matter. Chrissy isn't a fag and neither are you. You apologize to her and we'll be on our way. Chrissy has a long day tomorrow. Cheerleading scouts are coming out to watch them practice." Mrs Cunningham says.

"Fine, whatever, Chrissy, I am sorry." You say.

"What kind of half ass apology was that?" Chrissy says.

"Chrissy…" her mother starts.

"No mom, that was so half assed." Chrissy says.

"Chrissy Cunningham, I am truly and honestly sorry for my behavior. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." You apologize, only half serious.

"I accept your apology. Here." Chrissy holds out your friendship bracelet.

You smile as you hold out your wrist. She ties it back on your wrist for you. You two squeal and hug it out. She pulls from you though.

"Glad that is settled. Come on Chrissy." Mrs Cunningham says.

"See you aunty. See ya Chrissy." You say.

Chrissy and Mrs Cunningham leave. You sigh out a breath, like you've been holding it in for ten years. Eddie sees the pair of women leaving, waving to Chrissy, who waves back with a smile. He can see her mother scold her. Eddie climbs out of the van with his lunch pail and walks to the front door, being met by you opening the door.

"Ugh, I guess Chrissy and I are on okay terms again. But I am not going to hop right back into being her friend again." You say as you move out of the way to let Eddie in.

"Well, that makes our job easier... now, how to make Chrissy Cunningham fall in love with you..." Eddie says he sits on the couch, plopping the lunch pail on the coffee table.

"I don't know." You say.

"You’re the only person in her life that knows every detail about her." Eddie says.

"Yeah, but that still doesn't matter. I dont think I've ever seen her head over heels in love with a guy." You say.

"Maybe she's never felt genuine love with a guy?" He asks.

"I mean she's been crushing on boys as long as I can remember, but she's never told me that she's in love with someone." You say.

"Huh..." Eddie says.

"Let's wait for Steve and Robin before we get ahead of ourselves." You say.

The couple minutes of a Robin and Steve free house was nice. Soon the pair comes in, blabbing already about the idea that they had. Robin had jotted down her and Steve’s idea. You had to stop them to let them know that you and Chrissy were on speaking terms again.

"Just kiss her when you are over at her house." Robin suggests.

"No." You say.

"Ask her to watch Fast Times and then ask if she paused at any moment." Robin keeps suggesting.

"She's a beast and can sit through any movie, just fine." You say.

"Ask about the po-... Steve, this one is terrible." Robin says.

"That one was your idea..." Steve points out.

"Oh... yeah..." Robin says.

"That one is a no. I don't need to know." You say.

"Okay, what about... bringing her flowers before her practice tomorrow." Robin says. "Steve, that is so sweet."

"That's the one. It's a kind and romantic gesture that cannot be spun as something else." Eddie says, taking a drag off the joint before passing it to Steve.

"Yeah, but is it too romantic?" You ask.

"You literally want to fuck her, who cares if it's too romantic." Steve says.

"He has a point, y/n." Eddie says.

"Maybe small romantic gestures then boom, you hit her with the big one of 'I like you Chrissy!'" Robin suggests.

"That's the one." You say.

Everyone cheers. You four all share the joint. Eddie gets up to order the pizza. You take the time to get to know Robin and Steve a bit better. The night goes well. Robin, Steve, and Eddie left around 10pm.

As the morning rolls around, you get up in the morning. You get yourself ready for the day. You walk outside and see Chrissy waving at you from the passenger side of her mom’s ride.

“Come on Y/N!” Chrissy says with a sweet smile. She is so pretty.

“Alright.” You take a moment to lock the door. You walk to the car. You get in the back seat.

“Your mom asked me to pick you up today. However, you will need to catch a ride home.” Mrs Cunningham says.

“Yes aunty.” You say.

The drive to high school was Chrissy and you screaming all the words to ‘Piano Man.’ Mrs Cunningham pulls up to the curb. Chrissy and you get out of the car. Chrissy and you walk into the school, chatting about the upcoming scouting meeting. Chrissy informs you that was hoping that UCLA was coming.

“Chrissy!” Missy says. “We have to see Coach this morning.”

“Okay. Bye Y/N, love you!” Chrissy says as she parts from you.

“Love you Chrissy.” You say quietly.

You walk to your locker and shuffle around the things you need today. Eddie walks up to you.

“Hey sweetheart.” He says casually.

“Hey baby.” You say with a small eye roll.

“Listen, I have Hellfire tonight, but if you hang out - afterwards, we can smoke.” He says.

“Hey, can I use your van then? I need to get the flowers.” You ask.

“Uh, yes! If you pick up some soda and snacks for us.” Eddie says and he hands the keys to you.

“Thanks sucker.” You say with a grin.

Eddie rolls his eyes and walks off from you. You carry on with your day. Making the long haul to lunch, which you just leave and pick up flowers and the snacks that Eddie asks for. You come back before lunch is over. You walk over to the table. You set down the snacks and his keys.

“There are your snacks.” You say.

“Thank you doll face.” He says.

“Do you think this bouquet is too…” You ask.

“No…” Eddie says quickly.

“Sweet. Now or before?” You say.

“Now or before what?” Dustin asks.

“Nothing Henderson.” You and Eddie say.

“Before.” Eddie says.

“Fine.” You say. “Thanks Eds.”

You move yourself from the table to head over to your locker. You manage to put the flowers in there. You close the locker and see Chrissy there.

“Hey Chrissy.” You say.

“Listen, after cheer practice, do you want to hang out? I want to go get milkshakes.” Chrissy says.

“I am going to hang out with Eddie tonight to smoke… if you wanna come.” You say.

“I can meet up with you afterwards. I know that milkshakes after would be nice.” Chrissy says.

“Do you want me to bring Eddie along?” You ask.

“Oh come on, I just want alone time with you. I feel bad about yesterday.” Chrissy informs you.

“Aren’t you having the most stressful afternoon of your life? And you are worrying about me?” You ask.

“God forbid, I want to make sure my best friend is okay.” Chrissy says with a smile. You melt a little bit.

“8:30?” You ask.

“8:30.” Chrissy says.

“Oh hey…” You open your locker and grab the flowers. You hand them to her. “I got them for you. Uh, as a good luck thing. I am stoked for you!” You flash a little smile.

“Awh, thank you!” Chrissy says.

You two hug and she walks off, smelling the flowers. You watch her, feeling your heart skip a beat. You close your locker. It feels like a successful first move.

The day carries on as you float through your last few classes. You stand at your locker and exchange your books. You take in a deep breath.

“Y/N!!!” Chrissy says as she walks to you. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck bestie!” You say with a large smile. “I love you Chrissy. You got this. They would be crazy to not choose you.”

“You think so? I am so nervous.” Chrissy says.

“Don’t be. You got this.” You say with a smile on your face.

“Can you come watch?” Chrissy asks.

“Uh, let me check in with Hellfire before… I will be there, I promise.” You answer her.

“Okay. I have to stretch!” Chrissy says as she walks off. “THANK YOU FOR THE FLOWERS!”

“NO PROBLEM!” You say loudly.

You watch her walk away. You feel your stomach do somersaults. You walk towards the Hellfire room. You peek in and see Eddie setting up his DMing set. You smile as you walk in.

“Hey, I am going to… watch Chrissy.” You say. “I’ll be back in time for you to give me a ride.”

“Fine. Go watch your girlfriend.” Eddie says, not taking his eyes off of his set up.

“Thank you Eds, I love you.” You say as you scamper off.

"Uh-huh." Eddie says quietly in response.

You make your way to the football field. You go and sit in the stands. You watch Chrissy do her routine. Chrissy takes a moment to wave at you. You wave back. They keep doing their routines. You don’t find it too interesting, but for Chrissy, you’d sit through a million of these. The routines come to an end. You pick up your bag and walk up to the fence that separates the field from the stands. Chrissy walks over to the fence.

“You did great.” You say with a smile.

“Thank you for watching.” Chrissy says. “Listen, we have to go to the locker room… Did you see the scout from UCLA?”

“Uh, I think so.” You say. “Go… before you get in trouble.”

You watch her walk away. You walk back into the school and head towards the Hellfire room. All you hear is Eddie.

“THAAAAAAT’S A MIIIIISSSSSSS!” Eddie says.

“You’re an idiot.” You say and he glances at you.

“Be nice or you will walk home.” He says.

“Fine, I’ll be quiet here in the corner.” You place yourself on top of an empty desk.

The campaign comes to a good stopping point after another hour. Eddie and the boys clean up. You look over at him.

“How was cheer?” Eddie says as he pulls a face. It was an odd sentence.

“Boring, but you know…” You say.

“Yeah. You ready?” He asks.

“Hey, do you want to get milkshakes at like 8:30?” You ask.

“That is stupid specific?” He says. “That’s like an hour. We can definitely get high in that time. I am good on milkshakes though.”

“Can you take me?” You ask.

“Yes, I will be the vestal to take you to your date.” Eddie says.

“Just until my mom gets back…” You roll your eyes. “Then I can take her car.”

He puts the last thing in his bag and slings it up on his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

“Chrissy… does like you though…” You whisper.

“Well, that might be a road bump then,” He says.

“Yeah, so maybe you could just drop me off?” You ask.

“I like you better when you didn’t have a massive crush on someone who has a massive crush on me. We were a good trio.” He jokes.

You two walk out of the Hellfire room and walk to his van outside. You two get in the van and get in the back. He lights a joint almost instantly. He takes a long hit then hands you the joint. You also take a long hit off it, handing it back. He exhales out some smoke. You exhale after a moment. You two repeat that rotation until the joint is gone. You feel like you’re on cloud nine. He drives you to the diner, pulling up to the front.

“Go get them, tiger.” Eddie says with a chuckle.

“Shush Munson.” You climb out of the van.

You walk in and see Chrissy sitting there, daydreaming. You sit in front of her, smiling at her.

“Hey, so?” You raise an eyebrow.

“No one got offers tonight. Our coach says that they’ll put out offers tomorrow.” Chrissy says. “I got us each a chocolate cookie and cream milkshake.”

“Thanks Chrissy.” You say with a grin.

“Where is Eddie?” She asks.

“Uh, home by now, or almost I would assume.” You say.

“Damn, hoping on getting a big scoop of Munson tonight.” She says with a small wink.

You can’t help the small frown that pulls on your lips. “Uh, yeah, maybe next time. Besides you said you wanted to hang out with just me.”

“I do but, I am all tense from cheer.” She notices the frown and her eyebrow shoots up. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a lil…” You get distracted by the waiter who puts down the milkshakes. “YOU GOT SMILEY FACES FOR US. UGH, CHRISSY, I LOVE YOU.” You take off the cherry eyes and pop them in your mouth.

“Right, I forgot about why you hung out with Eddie. Is that all you do with him?” She unwraps her straw and puts it in the milkshake, taking a sip.

“No, we rehearse. And smoke. And sometimes we talk about you. And sometimes we talk about Hellfire.” You say after swallowing down the cherries.

“You talk about me?” She says.

“Yeah, about how pretty your smile is and how it lights up a room. And your laugh, that could cure depression because it’s so happy. And your gorgeous eyes…” You ramble off as you open your straw and stick it in the milkshake, taking a sip.

“Eddie says those things?” She looks almost hopeful.

You might be high, but you were not about to admit to her how you feel. “Uh, yeah. I think if you ask him out, he would say yes.”

“Maybe I’ll see if he wants to come to Jason’s party.” She says with hopefulness.

“Uh, no, we have a show at the Hideout.” You say.

“What! You’re letting me go to some dumb party and didn’t tell me about the show! Y/N!” She pouts a little.

“It’s no big deal, just our first Saturday show. I had to flirt with the slimey manager to get us there.” You mumble.

“Your first Saturday show! Y/N, I am going to kill you. I want to go. What time?” She asks.

“Uh, I think like 7:30.” You answer.

“Perfect! I’ll go to the show then the party.” Chrissy says with a smile.

“Perfect!” You say with a fake smile. Not perfect. She’ll be around Eddie. She’ll fall in love with him. They’ll get married. They’ll…

“Y/N? Are you okay? Seriously, what is going on with you lately?” She asks.

Your hand moves to touch your cheeks as soon as you notice tears flowing down your face. “Fuck, I am sorry. This shit is good. I am going to have to ask Eddie for more.” You grab a napkin, but Chrissy already has one and wipes your tears.

She leans back in her spot. “Oh, right, aunty is getting back tomorrow. You’ve been without her for two days. So much freedom.”

“Yeah, that’s it. I miss mom so much.” You say, which was a half lie.

“Let’s finish this up, mom will be here soon to grab us.” Chrissy says.

You two slurp down your milkshakes. Only taking little breaks when you would get brain freeze or you two would get into discussions about what you two would do in California, because let’s face it, you were moving with her, regardless of what happens. You two finish your milkshakes and Chrissy pays for them. You guys walk outside. Chrissy has her arms tuck close to her body, shivering a little bit. You shimmy off your coat and hand it to her. A black leather jacket might not be her style, but your jacket certainly looks cute on her. Her mom pulls up and you two crawl into the car. The car ride was quiet for the most part. It mostly was her mom asking questions about school and cheer. You watch the street lights move fastly past you. You recognize the streets and when Chrissy’s mom pulls up in front of your house. You thank her and get out of the car. You walk to the house and unlock it. Once you are inside, you squeal a little bit. That definitely felt like a date… sort of. You relock the door and walk to the phone. You dial up Eddie’s number.

“What up?” Eddie so carelessly answers the phone.

Your eyes roll. “Eddie! Hey! So, I fucked up a little bit.”

“What did you do?” He asks.

You can hear a faint rustle of a chip bag. “I told Chrissy that if she asks you out, you would say yes.”

“Fuck, how high were you?” He asks.

“Very.” You admit. “I also told her about our Saturday gig, which she is coming to, so I assume that is when she’ll make her move.”

“You got yourself in a pickle, huh?” He questions. “How was milkshakes?”

“Good, chocolate cookie and cream with a stupid face in the whipped cream.” You answer.

“You are a girl after my own heart, Y/L/N.” He responds.

“Listen, bring more of that shit to the gig. It is the only way I am going to deal with Chrissy being there.” You inform him.

“She is your best friend. She wants to be supportive, Y/N, so let her.” He says. Why is he so full of wisdom?

“Goodnight Eds.” You say.

“Goodnight princess.” He says so coyly back and hangs up.

In the morning, you spent about twenty minutes looking for your leather jacket. It was your staple piece. You roll your eyes as you give up. It isn’t even cold, long sleeves will do. As you bounce downstairs with your neatly straightened hair, long sleeve black W.A.S.P shirt, and a pair of jnco shorts you scored at the thrift store, you see your mom walk in the house.

“Mom!” You say excitedly.

“Baby!” She says back.

You two meet in a hug in the middle of the living room, both hanging on to each other for dear life. She looks at you for a moment.

“The car is fueled up if you wanna drive today.” She says, sliding the key into your hand.

“How was Indianapolis?” You ask, holding the key tightly after.

“Good, boring. Clients are idiots.” She answers.

“Always idiots. I love you. I have to leave for school. I left the change from the food on the kitchen counter. I think there should be enough for the diner tonight, if you want to go.” You say as you kiss her cheek after.

“Why do I feel like a teenager?” She asks with a laugh.

“I don't know.” You say with a chuckle. You walk to the front door.

“I love you, sugarbear.” She says with a smile.

“I love you.” You respond.

You manage to get out of the house and into the car within seconds. You fiddle around to find the tape you always leave in here. You groan when you can’t find it. You just turn on the radio and the music fills the car of your tape. Your mom was listening to your music on her way back? She is adorable. You drive off to Chrissy’s house, seeing her mom and her walking out. You turn down the music.

“CHRISSY!” You say from the driver side, after rolling down the passenger window.

“Go.” Her mom says.

“Y/N!” She squeals as she runs to the car. She gets in the car.

You look at her for a minute. “You punk! That is my jacket!”

“Yeah? It goes with my ensemble today. I feel like Sandy.” She says.

“Yeah? Whatever… Don’t be mad when Gareth approaches you and asks you to name three songs by Slayer.” You say starting the drive to school.

“Hell Awaits, right? It came out this year. Black Magic and shoot, what is that one?.... Oh, Haunting the Chapel.” Chrissy says with a big smile.

“CHRIS! I would be so hard right now if I had a penis.” You say with a chuckle.

“You have played all those. I am good with remembering song names.” She defends herself.

“I can’t wait to brag to the whole school.” You say.

“I wanna surprise Eddie.” She says.

Of course she did. “Duh!” You comment.

You pull into the parking lot, next to your favorite idiot’s van.

“I am going to have lunch with Eddie today. I didn’t get a chance to yesterday because I got those flowers for you…” You trail off.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Chrissy says.

You two exit the car after you cut the engine. You see Eddie getting out of his van.

“Hey Y/N!” He says. “Oh hey Chrissy. Wearing the big girl jacket today?”

“Hey! I know songs by people on this jacket!” Chrissy says with a slight flirty tone.

“Name a couple.” He eggs her on.

“Hell Awaits, Black Magic, and Haunting the Chapel.” She says.

“Well damn, Y/N, you did good with this one.” He says with a smirk on his face.

“It’s been my hardest project.” You joke.

“Stop being so mean.” Chrissy says to Eddie with a smile on her face.

“Cunningham, you are wearing a black leather jacket over your little cheer uniform, you’re not exactly edgy now.” He says.

“Eddie, be nice.” You say.

“Fine. Hey, practice today at 4pm. We have to before our show tomorrow.” Eddie says.

“Got it.” You say. “Come on Chrissy, you have to see if you got any offers.”

“See ya Edd.” She sings as you two walk off.

You two get inside of the school and head straight towards the locker room. All you two see is a bunch of senior cheerleaders standing around a paper that is hung up on the coach’s door. A couple of them are crying.

“I am nervous. Go check for me.” Chrissy asks.

“Gotcha Chris.” You say.

You push yourself towards the front. Cunningham, Chrissy - University of California - Los Angeles, University of Southern California, University of Texas, Indiana University. You try to hold in your excitement as you make your way back to her.

“So, University of Texas and Indiana University made offers.” You see her face fall. “However, USC AND UCLA MADE OFFERS! CHRISSY YOU DID IT!” You pull her into a big hug. She holds on to you for dear life. You spin her a little bit. All her dreams are coming true. You want to kiss her so bad right now.

“I can’t believe it. UCLA?!” She squeals as she jumps up and down.

“You got this. You start now, you can get those grades up and we can work on a kick ass college application paper. You can definitely do this Chrissy!” You say excited for your best friend.

“I can’t wait!” She says. She couldn’t look happier. You two are still holding each other. “Thank you for believing in me. I am going to need you at every home game while I cheer for UCLA! You are my good luck charm.”

“I will be there. Every home game.” You move a hand to stick out your pinky.

“Deal.” Her pinky wraps around yours.

You two giggle while leaving the locker room. Chrissy and you walk to her first period. You stand there a moment, glancing at her, eyes trailing from her eyes to her lips but would snap back to look at her eyes. She is also looking at you.

“The bell is about to ring, you should probably head to class.” She says.

“Uh, shit, yeah… I am gonna go to class.” You walk off from her before she could even say anything.

Once you get near your class, you dip into the bathroom. You walk into a stall and take a deep breath. You all of a sudden felt very overwhelmed. She is going to UCLA. You, though, were going to try to get the band a record deal. You two's dreams were different, way different at this point. Would your feelings even matter when she was going to leave eventually? You let out an audible sob.

“Hey, girly, do you need a tampon or something?” A familiar voice questions.

You open the door and see Robin. You wipe your face after feeling a tear go down your face. “No, no, I am good. It’s not that time of month, it's everything else.” You say to her.

“Is it…” Robin is about to start, but she takes a minute and sees that you two are alone. “Chrissy?”

“Yes, it always is. She got a scouting offer from University of California - Los Angeles. She has her life planned and I was thinking about it and I am like do I even fit in her picture?” You admit.

“Holy shit, that’s cool. That’s great for her.” Robin says. “But, listen, I am sure she sees her best friend in her life forever. She loves you and will accept you no matter what.”

“Yeah, but Rob…” You say.

“You need to do more romantic gestures, so she knows.” Robin nods her head. “Can I hang out tonight, we can discuss more?”

“Come to The Hangout tomorrow at 7:30. Eddie and I have band practice and my mom and I are going to the diner for dinner tonight.” You answer her.

“Yeah, of course!” She says just as the bell rings.

“Oh no, we better get to class.” Your eyes roll.

“Oh no, what a shame.” Robin says.

You two made no effort to leave the bathroom. You cave first though and Robin is quick to follow you out. You two go to your separate classes.

The day slowly drags on, a normal feeling for a Friday. You go over to Eddie and the Lost Boys, sitting yourself in a spot closest to the dungeon master.

“I swear Gareth, the pat-” Eddie starts but is distracted by you sitting down next to him. He is even more distracted by the fact you put a ham and cheese sandwich with lots of mayo (like he likes) down in front of him. “Why did you make me a sandwich?”

“I felt like being nice when I woke up this morning.” You say, knowing all he has in his lunchbox is cocaine, weed, and a couple of those small bags of chips and a half eaten pack of m&ms. “Plus, you have to last the entire practice. We don’t have time for mid-practice pizza.”

“I love mid-practice pizza.” Gareth says.

You glance at the drummer. “Yeah, then we can suck and never get a Saturday night gig ever again.” The male band members groan as you are being the usual band mom to them.

You glance at Eddie, who was in the middle of taking a bite, “I can’t stay for pizza breaks and smoking after. My mom and I are going to the diner afterwards.”

“So what? Like 8?” Eddie asks as he has his mouth full.

“For being such a gentleman, you should know better not to talk with your mouth full, but probably close to 7:30.” You say.

He sticks his tongue at you, showing him the chewed up food. You roll your eyes. You just go quiet, listening to conversations happen around you as you eat your lunch. You put an oreo in your mouth. You feel Eddie’s eyes burn a hole in your skin. You hand him an oreo, which makes him squeaks almost, taking the cooking from you. You had two left. You get up from your spot. You finish eating the oreo you were working on.

“Oh please, Y/N just left her jacket at my house, so I decided to wear it. Why is it a big deal?” You hear Chrissy ask her friends.

“Because she’s a fa-” Missy starts, growing quiet as she sees you walk up.

“Hey Chrissy. I had these leftover.” You put the oreos down in front of her. “Uh congrats again on UCLA.”

“Thank you Y/N.” Chrissy says as she takes the bag.

You just glare at Missy and start to walk away until you hear the words leave Missy’s lips. “She’s a fag, obviously.” You turn yourself back around and walk over to the table. You get down in front of Missy’s face.

“I swear Dickins call me a fag one more time, I’ll make sure that you can’t cheer for the rest of your boring ass life. Don’t project onto me just because you only got a recruitment offer from Indiana University.” You say, with a big smile on your face.

“Oh please. I am not scared of you, freak.” Missy says.

You lean up from in front of her. “Then swing at me… Swing. Hit me.” You see her shocked face. “Yeah, THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT, DICKINS!” Your tone is condescending. Everyone's eyes were on you. “YOU BETTER BE SCARED OF ME.”

“Y/N, please stop.” Chrissy's voice is a whisper.

“ARE YOU PROJECTING ONTO ME? MAYBE YOU HAVE THE HOTS FOR CUNNINGHAM, HMMM DICKINS?” You absolutely are lost with rage.

“EVERYONE KNOWS FREAKS ARE ALSO FAGS THAT’S WHY YOU AND MUNSON HAVEN’T DATED YET.” Missy snaps back with.

“THEN WHY DID HE TELL ME THAT HE FUCKED YOUR MOM? HUH? IN YOUR BED TOO.” You say, eyes moving over to Eddie, who was trying to not laugh and totally ready to play along.

“HE DID NOT -” Missy starts.

“DICKINS AND Y/L/N, MY OFFICE NOW!” The principal steps in.

You see Chrissy let out a heavy sigh. You and Missy both walk with the principal to his office. You both sit in the chairs that face his desk.

“Listen, this is the second time someone has said something Missy calling you a fag. God, I don't even like that word. Missy, that is slur, therefore it is bullying. I can suspend you for bullying and you don’t want that on your record. Indiana University can take back their offer based on this alone.” He says. “Now, Y/N, for God’s sake, we do not accuse other students of sleeping with other student’s mothers, regardless if it is Munson or not. We don’t appreciate the theatrics that you and him cause in our cafeteria. We also do not threaten each other, regardless if it is self defense or not. That can also get you suspended or worse, expulsion. I know you cannot afford that. You two are seniors. You need to be setting an example of more than just the teenage drama at school.” There is a lull in his words for a moment. “I want you two to apologize to each other or I will call your parents and let them know what you two have been up to during your school hours.”

You let out a small sigh. You turn to face Missy. “Missy, listen, I am sorry for all I said. I just got carried away.”

“You’re forgiven. I am sorry for calling you a fag and a freak.” Missy says.

“You are forgiven.” You say.

“You two are dismissed. Enjoy your lunches… from opposite ends of the cafeteria, please.” The principal says.

“Yes sir.” You both say.

You walk out of this office with Missy. Chrissy and Eddie are both waiting for you. Chrissy walks up to you two, obviously panicked. You see Eddie hanging back, you wish he didn’t.

“Well?” Chrissy asks.

“We had to apologize to each other. That’s it.” Missy says.

“And?” Chrissy eggs on.

“That’s it Chris.” You say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You walk to Eddie.

“An apology?” Eddie asks.

“Easiest lie I’ve ever told.” You whisper.

He smirks. “Did he call your mom?”

“No, thankfully. I should be good for the show.” You say.

“Sick.” Eddie says.

You two walk back into the cafeteria. You collect your lunch items. You throw your trash and sit yourself back in your spot.

“You’re not in trouble right?” Gareth asks.

“No Gar.” You mumble.

The bell rings and you go off to your locker. You exchange your books and head off to your after lunch class. The rest of the day drags from there. At the final bell ring, you get up and leave as quickly as possible. You drive yourself home. You see your mom on the porch, tending to the flowers in her flower pots. You cut the engine and go over to your mother.

“Hey honey, how was school?” She asks as she checks the soil moisture with her finger.

“It was okay.” You answer. “Uh, in like thirty minutes, can you take me to our practice space? We’re gonna practice until like 7:30, then you and I can get dinner.”

“Sounds great sweetie.” She says, holding out her hand.

You slide your keys into her hand. “Chrissy got a recruitment offer from UCLA.” You inform her.

“What! That is great for Chrissy! I always knew she could do it.” She says.

“Yeah! I am stoked for her. She was so nervous yesterday.” You say.

“Well, maybe we will ask them to join us, to celebrate.” Your mom says. “I am sure Laura would love that.”

“We can also celebrate my band’s first Saturday show.” You ask more than say.

“Yes, of course! You kids are growing up.” She says.

“Cool.” You simply say.

You head inside and sit on the couch. Your homework fills your lap and you keep your attention on it as you hear the front door open and your mother comes in.

“So Monday, I will be in Indianapolis for the whole week.” Your mom says.

“Uh, why?” You ask.

“My client is insistent that I watch over every little thing that goes on.” She answers.

“But, they know you have a child right?” You respond.

“Yes darling, they do, but… It’s a good paying project and I want to be able to get your graduation present that you have been dreaming of.” She hints.

“A BLACK 1980 SQUIER PRECISION BASS?” You ask so excitedly, throwing your books off your lap as you stand up.

“That’s the one.” She says.

“Oh my God! You can be gone for the whole month. I don’t care!” You say happily, pulling her into a tight hug. “I can’t wait to rub it in Eddie’s dumb little face.”

“Speaking of, has he asked you out at all?” She is being nosey and you know it. She releases you from the hug.

“Yeah, but I turned him down. He is a great confidant.” You say with a shrug.

“Okay, I was worried I was going to have a chat with Wayne about you two.” She says with a chuckle.

“Nah, nothing.” You sit back down, collecting your homework.

“Let me know when you finish and I’ll take you over early.” She says, sitting down on the other end of the couch with a book.

“You got it.” You say.

About twenty minutes later, you had all but one assignment done. It is stupid and you did not comprehend it at all. You put all your stuff back in your bag and hop up.

“Alright, let’s go melt some faces off.” You say.

“Better bring some aloe then.” Your mom says as she bookmarks her page and puts down her book.

You look at your mother, enjoying her trying to be ‘metal’ with you, but in her own mom caring way. You two head outside. You both climb in the car. She turns the engine over and drives to where your band practices. She asks questions about the gig on Saturday and if you were okay with her not going. You tried to protest, but secretly happy that she didn’t want to go. She drops you off at the practice space. You get out of the car, but Eddie takes a moment to talk to your mother.

“Y/N!” Eddie says happily. “Thank you Mrs Y/L/N for dropping her off. How was Indianapolis?”

“You know Edward, full of idiots.” Your mom responds. “Let me know if you and your uncle need anything, okay?”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll ask him tonight and I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Eddie smiles at her. “The world is full of idiots.”

“Yeah, you have…” Your mom takes a moment to count your band members. Your mom was the best. “Including you, 4 idiots right here.”

“Damn, ouch Mrs Y/L/N. You even included Y/N in that, harsh.” Eddie shakes his head.

“Can you stop trying to fuck my mother so we can practice?” You ask.

“Y/N, don’t try to cockblock me.” Eddie says loudly.

“Sorry Edward, you are way too young for my type.” She says.

“Ouch again Mrs Y/L/N. Until we meet again.” Eddie walks away from the car.

Your mom drives off and you roll your eyes at his theatrics. The band gets started on practice pretty much right away, which again surprises you that Eddie could focus long enough to start practice and not waste time with endless talking. You keep yourself in a perfect rhythm. You know you guys need to get into a recording studio to make a song. You guys finish rehearsing at 7:30 like you want and your mom pulls up at 7:30 on the spot.

“We are totally ready.” Eddie says.

“I am excited.” You say. “Well, see ya dorks later. I am going to get some grub.”

You walk over to the car. You get in the passenger seat. You look at your mom who just greets you with a “Hi sweetie.”

“So, uh, we were going to stay at The Hideout until like midnight tomorrow. Is that okay?” You ask.

“Of course, as long as you get home safe or stay at someone’s house. Just leave a message on the answering machine if you do that.” Your mom says.

“Thanks mom.” You say.

You fill your mom on everything that happened at school while she was gone, choosing to leave out the Chrissy and Missy stuff. You also tell her about your new friends, Robin and Steve. Your mom goes off about how snotty Mrs. Harrington is, so she is surprised to find out that Steve is so sweet and caring. Your mom parks in the parking lot and cuts the engine.

“I am not missing anything, am I?” You mom vaguely asks.

“Hm?” You hum in response.

“Being away so much this month, I feel like I am missing out on your life.” She answers.

“Mom, you’ve raised me, pretty much by yourself. I am 18 now. I know to go to school and come home and do my homework without being told. I can cook myself dinner. You’ve raised an incredibly independent daughter. You’re not missing out on my life. You paved the way so I can have a good life. You’re working extra hard for no reason but to get me my dream bass, which I am surprised that you could even remember. You’re so supportive with the band. You treat my friends so kindly. You’re a great mother and I love you.” You comment. You move a hand to wipe a tear that was starting to well up in your eye.

“I love you too, kiddo.” Your mom says as she leans over the middle console to hug you. You hug her back with much need.

“Besides, I know Chrissy and Eddie are my best friends, but you are truly my best friend, mom.” You say. Do you tell your mother right here and now? The timing seems right. “Mom…?”

“Yes baby?” She asks.

“I’m ga-....” You start.

“I know. Moms always know. I still love you. You are still my world, baby girl.” She kisses your forehead, your eyes watering up. “Besides when you said you turned down Eddie… I knew right then and there. He’s a handsome charming guy.”

You laugh and wipe your face again. “You know, Wayne is just like him.”

“For the last time, I am not going to date Wayne Munson.” She says.

“Mom, come on. He’s single. You’re single…” You start.

“If you say one more word the rest of the night about this, I will ground you and you will not be able to do your show tomorrow.” She says.

“Yes ma’am.” You grumble out.

You two get out of the car. Your mom throws her arm around you as you two walk to the front doors of the diner. She holds the door open for you and you two walk in. You two get your usual table. You mull over the menu as you feel your mom’s eyes on you.

“So is there anyone…” She starts.

“Uh, if you must know, yes… but she’s not on my team.” You say back, quietly, as not to out yourself to the entire restaurant.

“Oh shit. Really? Do I know her?” She asks.

Your brain almost short circuits at that moment. She can’t have her blabbing to her best friend that you have a crush on Chrissy, especially since she said that you two aren’t fags. “Uh, no, I don’t think so.”

“Alright… “ She grows quiet.

“It’s complicated. Eddie found out Wednesday and it was weird to speak out loud. I feel like I have been holding it in.” You say, knowing Hawkins is not the place for the couple of queers that it did house.

There are a few more moments of mulling over the menu before the waitress comes over and you two order what you usually order. Your eyes gaze around the familiar diner.

“Did Chrissy and her mom not want to celebrate?” You ask.

“They are going to celebrate Sunday during brunch.” She says. “She asked if we would come and I said yes.”

“Okay, cool. It’s wild that Chrissy got UCLA. I get to move out there with her, probably with the boys. She wants me to go to every home game to be her good luck charm.” Your heart swells at the thought of watching her. “I know California is far from Indiana, but we can make it work.”

“What about you though dear? Like if the band stuff doesn’t work out.” She asks, obviously a little concerned.

“Well, I plan on applying to UCLA or maybe USC, work some stupid student job, make the boys work as well. We’ll practice music on the weekend and save enough money to record a song to start applying for record deals. Eddie already has a little saved towards that.” You inform her.

Her lips curl into a smile. “I am glad you have it all planned out. What if my daughter becomes a rockstar and tours? What about Chrissy then?”

“She can sell merchandise.” You say.

“That’s your dream, not hers. What if she wants to cheer for the Los Angeles Raiders and can’t join you on tour?” Your mom asks.

“Mom, I think we can survive that if we can survive high school.” You reply.

“Okay sweetie.” She says.

You two talk about how your mom’s work is going. Her clients definitely were idiots like she said. The food gets set down after talking for another ten minutes. Your mom and you quietly eat, not much conversation going on. After you two eat, your mom pays the bill. You two pile back into the car. She drives you two home.

“So, do you really think Wayne is handsome and charming?” She asks.

“Uh, yeah!” You say sort of excitedly.

“Okay, shush. I am sure he and I will run into each other because of you kids.” She comments.

You just smirk, can’t wait to tell Eddie about it when you two get home. The rest of the car ride is full of your music mix. Your mom only slightly mentions that she likes Motley Crue. You two arrive home. You immediately get out, leaving your mom in the dust. You unlock the door and head straight to the phone, dialing Eddie’s number.

“Wayne speaking.” Wayne’s voice fills your ears.

“Hey Wayne, is Eds there?” You ask. You see your mom walk in and make herself comfy on the couch.

“He should be, give me a moment.” Wayne speaks softly. You can hear him call for Eddie.

“What’s up sugar tits?” Eddie says.

“Hey baby.” You say with a chuckle. “Did uh, Wayne need anything? Remember like my mom asked.”

“Uh shit…” Eddie says. You hear a faint ‘Wayne, Mrs Y/L/N wanted to know if we needed anything.’ You don't hear a reply back. “He said, and I quote, no we are good, but if she needs some company tomorrow night while you kids are playing, I have a certificate to that new pizza place that I got from work.”

You just squeal. “My mom and your uncle need to hook up.”

“That’s what I have been telling him.” Eddie says with a chuckle.

“Then we can be cousins.” You speak.

“Uh, pass…” You can hear Eddie’s grin.

“Oh! I also meant to brag at practice, but my mother is saving her money from this project next week to get me a graduation present.” You sing.

“And what is it?” Eddie asks.

“1980 black squier precision bass!” You say.

“No fucking way. That’s fucking awesome.” Eddie says.

“That’s what I am saying.” You comment.

“She’s so fucking cool.” Eddie comments.

“Right! She also said she’s been liking Motley Crue a lot lately.” You grin as you see your mother shoot you a look.

“Your knowledge of badass music spreads to the best people.” Eddie hums out.

“I told my mom…” You say not wanting to utter those words.

“That you’re?” He asks.

“Yeah. She supports.” You comment.

“Did you tell her about Chrissy?” He questions.

“No, I can’t… not until something happens.” You say.

“Fair enough.” He comments.

“Hey, I gotta go. My mom and I are gonna watch a movie.” You inform him.

“Alright, good night babycakes.” Eddie chuckles.

“Goodnight lover boy.” You hang up the phone after that. You walk to the couch and sit down next to your mom.

“Are you sure you’re not… what is that word…?” She asks.

“No mom, totally 100%...” You answer her.

“Do you always call Eddie little pet names?” She questions you.

“Only because the big doof says them first. It’s his thing.” You comment.

“Fair enough.” She says.

You get up to put in a movie for real and sit back down next to your mom, Star Trek two. Your mom was a trekky in a Wars world. You two sit there and watch the movie. You end up falling asleep, leaning up against her. Your mom pulls the blanket you had around yourself closer to your body. Her hand smoothes up and down your spine. This reminds her of when you were little and never could stay up during a movie. You never did get to finish Snoopy, Come Home when you were 4. You had Peanuts everything growing up, so your mom was so excited to rent the movie, but after ten minutes you were out like a light.

After the movie ends your mom lightly shakes you awake.

“Hmm?” You mumble out, not bothering moving or opening your eyes.

“Baby, go to bed.” She says.

Your eyes open and you whine slightly. “Okay, okay.”

You get up off the couch and walk to your room, moving at the pace of a mummy. It doesn’t take long from the moment you hit your bed to fall asleep. You wake up in the morning, groaning from being in the same clothes you had on yesterday. You end up taking a shower and getting half ready for the day. You can smell the smell of bacon float through the air. You end up in the threshold of the kitchen, your mom was cooking, giggling into the phone.

“Yes, she was out like a light. Reminds me of when Chrissy and her used to do that all the time when they were babies.” She chuckles. She is definitely talking to Mrs. Cunningham. “Yeah, Y/N mentioned moving out there with Chrissy, I swear they must be secretly attached at the hip and we don’t see it.” There was a lull. “Yeah! Alright. I have to finish breakfast. I love you.” She hangs up after a moment. She turns on her heels to hang up the phone and jumps in her spot, chuckling. She moves to hang up the phone.

“Good morning baby.” She greets you.

“Good morning mom.” You say.

“Bacon is almost done. I have a stack of pancakes in the microwave to stay warm. My timing is never right when I cook.” She says.

“Thank you.” You say simply as you walk to grab a plate from the cabinet.

You fix yourself a plate of food and gather all the fixings for it. You sit at the table and start to eat. You groan happily, your mom’s breakfasts were always the best. She always cook the best. It could be the nastiest food known to man, but if your mom cooked it, there was a big chance that you would eat and enjoy all of it. You see her sit down with her plate. She fixes her food up like how she likes and she eats happily.

“How was aunty this morning?” You ask between bites.

“Well, you know the Cunninghams? They had breakfast with Phillip’s parents this morning to tell them the news. They were excited for her.” She informs you.

“Oh cool.” You say.

“Is Chrissy going?” She asks.

“Yeah, she really wants to see Eddie.” You say, seeing the look on your mother’s face. “Nope, let’s pretend that I didn’t say that… Don’t tell Aunty Laura. She’ll kill Chrissy for not going after Jason. You know how she cares about how her family looks.”

“I won’t tell Laura.” She assures you. “I am just surprised… they’re so different, that’s all.”

“Well, it’s my fault. I forced them to get along to the point where Chrissy started to fall for Eddie.” You point out.

“True, but still Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie Munson… they would be cute.” Your mom says.

We’d be cute too, you think. “Yeah definitely.” You just agree. You push around your last few bites.

You two eat the rest of breakfast in silence. You aren’t sure how you were going to pass the time today until tonight. Your mom excuses herself after a few minutes, saying she is going to get a head start on her upcoming project. You watch her walk to the spare room you guys use as an office space for her. You take the time to clean up the kitchen for her and do the dishes.

As the time slowly trickles over to 5:30, you feel relieved. You were ready to go. You had to be at the venue at 6:30 to set up. You convince your mom to grab a pizza on the way to Eddie’s. You two arrive and you walk to the door knocking on it.

“Hey Y/N, Y/M/N.” Wayne greets as he steps out of the way and lets you two in.

“We brought pizza!” You say with a smile. “Eddie and I have to eat and head over.”

“Y/N insisted we get here early to have pizza.” Y/M/N says.

“That’s fine with me. I was just debating on what to cook. So, I’ll take it.” Wayne says.

You barge into Eddie’s room. He was adjusting himself in his jeans.

“Jesus Y/N, you can’t just barge in.” He says with a small eye roll.

“Oh please, you are only half naked. I have seen you shirtless so many times.” You say with a small smirk. “Plus, you know I have no interest in you.”

“Your mom is here, she can’t see me indecent!” He says as he pulls on a cut-off shirt that was slightly cropped.

“Babes, she doesn’t care.” You say. “Do you need eyeliner?”

“No, not tonight.” He shakes his head. He loads up his pants with all his accessories and the things he keeps in his pocket.

You stand there a moment, hearing your mom and Wayne chatting and laughing. “You hear that?” You whisper.

He pulls on his shoes. “Yeah. Looks like we are doing it.” He whispers back.

You two walk from the bedroom to where Wayne and your mom is at. You grab a slice of pizza from the box. You eat and sit down on the couch. Eddie grabs a piece of pizza and joins you.

“Hey, Mrs. Y/L/N. How was your day?” Eddie asks.

“Oh, you know, waiting around for Y/N to go off to this gig.” Y/M/N says.

“Oh yeah, same with Wayne. You guys just want to get rid of us.” Eddie comments.

“Soon, after graduation we can be Los Angeles bound and get a record deal and become rock stars!” You say to him.

Eddie and you eat your slices as you two listen to Wayne and Y/M/N chat. Eddie eats two more slices and you eat one more. You guys then excuse yourselves as it was time to go. You two go outside and get in the van. Eddie turns the engine over and drive to the practice space to pick up equipment.

“Do you think Wayne likes my mom?” You ask.

“I have never seen him laugh so much, so maybe.” Eddie answers you.

“So, what do you think about Los Angeles?” You ask him in a serious tone.

“I know you want to go because of Chrissy. Y/N, we’ll need to record a song.” He says.

“And we will, but we need to make connections and then we can record a song… one of our own songs. Then we can be big musicians and still come to Hawkins for Christmas.” You say.

“And I can get Wayne a house.” Eddie mutters.

“Yeah, you can.” You say. “My mom could design the interior for him. She went off today about how her clients wanted cerulean and then proceeded to pick out lapiz.”

“Aren’t those both blue?” He asks.

“Awh, who paid attention during art class?!” You say with a smirk.

“You are so mean.” He chuckled. “I was painting one of my D&D figurines and the container so happened to be lapiz.”

Eddie pulls up and parks the van. You two both get out and help Gareth and Jeff load up the van with the equipment.

“Be careful, idiot.” Gareth says as Eddie almost drops the cymbals. “Those are only ones I have.”

“Jesus Gareth, calm down.” Eddie says with a smirk.

Gareth rolls his eyes and you bite down on your tongue. You take a small breath through your nose. You didn’t feel like being band mom at the moment. You guys get everything loaded. Jeff and Gareth get in the back. Eddie and you get in the front. Eddie gets you guys to the venue, rather quickly. You guys were quick to unload the equipment. Gareth takes it upon himself to get his own cymbals. You guys get all set up and did a small sound check. You were starting to feel nervous. You look over at Eddie. He just smiles at you. You guys had about fifteen minutes until you go on. You peek out your head from the stage area. No Chrissy.

“She isn’t here…” You say.

“She’s not?” Eddie asks as he moves to peek his head out, scanning the faces.

“No…” You feel a bit dejected.

“Come on, she has Carver’s party tonight too. It probably just skipped her mind.” Eddie says.

“But…” Your eyes are watering up. “I went to her stupid cheer thing and she knew this is so fucking important to me.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Eddie looks panicked almost. He wipes the tear that does escape your tear duct. “Maybe she’s running late.”

“Maybe she hates me.” You whisper.

“Y/N?” Robin asks.

You sniffle and look at Robin, throwing on a smile. “Hey Rob! Thanks for coming!”

“What’s with the water works huh?” She asks.

“Chrissy isn’t here.” You say.

“I could have sworn I came in behind her.” Robin states. “Well, she’s dumb for missing her best friend’s important event. I am going to grab Steve, he got caught up chatting with a dumb girl.” Robin leaves the backstage area.

“See, Robin said she might have seen her.” Eddie says.

About five minutes until you guys go on, Eddie looks again and nods his head. “There is a real cute blonde in the front, Y/N.”

“SHE CAME?” You say almost way too excited. You peek out and see Chrissy standing there, still wearing your jacket. She looks so cute. “Fuck, she’s so cute.”

“You really like her huh?” Eddie asks.

“So much.” You say.

“You need to tell her.” Eddie says.

“Yeah, I can’t…” You start.

“Take over the vocals for ‘Nothing Else Matters.’” Eddie says.

“Wh-what?” You question him.

“Come on, just do it.” He says. “Jeff and Gareth, Y/N is doing ‘Nothing Else Matters’ tonight.”

“Yes boss.” Jeff says.

“In fact, we are playing that first.” Eddie says with a smirk.

“Munson…” You start.

“Nope, no ifs, ands, or buts.” Eddie informs you.

You guys get called to the stage. You move to grab your bass, slinging it on. You make eye contact with Chrissy for a moment and smile. Her smile is beaming back at you. Eddie starts the notes for ‘Nothing Else Matters’. Soon the rest of you join and you start singing into your microphone. Chrissy’s eyes go wide as you focus on her. The song then ends and you guys transition into your first usual starter song. You proceed to have fun for the rest of the set, the fact you serenaded Chrissy lives in the back of your mind. Eddie thanks for giving you guys a listen and you all walk off stage. The curtain closes. You guys start to reload your equipment. You and Eddie then join the regular crowd, only getting a few people telling you guys that you did good. Jeff and Gareth move outside to smoke. Robin and Steve join you guys at a table.

“That was so good. Y/N, I could feel your love in the song!” Robin says.

“Yeah, it was good.” Steve says.

“Y/N!” Chrissy says as she squeals a little, pulling you into a hug.

“Hey Chris!” You say, hugging her back.

“You didn’t tell me that you did vocals!” She says with a smile.

“Uh, Eddie surprised me tonight. Let me do our first song.” You say with a smile.

“You guys were so good. I thought you were great.” Chrissy plops herself to sit on your left thigh.

You snake an arm around her. “Don’t you have Carver’s party?” You could feel everyone’s eyes on you two.

“Well, it’s only 8 and his dumb little party doesn’t start until 8:30.” Chrissy says. “Abigail, you know, brunette, mid left of the pyramid? Anyways, she’s grabbing me, so I am pregaming a little bit.”

“Good ol fake ID?” Robin asks.

“The bartender thought I was cute. Gave it to me for free.” Chrissy giggles.

“How many have you gotten for free?” You ask.

“Just two. Feel my face.” Chrissy moves to grab your hand and put it on her cheek. “So warm huh?”

“Very.” You say.

“Eddie, your vocals are amazing. You definitely have a voice for music.” Chrissy says as she moves her attention from you.

“Yeah, thanks Cunningham.” He says. “Congrats on UCLA, Y/N won’t shut up about it.”

“You told them?!” Chrissy asks you.

“Yeah, I was excited for you.” You answer her.

“Well, thank you Eddie.” Chrissy says. “Hey, I am going to see if I can score another free drink. I’ll be right back.” She moves off your lap to get the drink.

“Oh my God.” You whisper as she walks away.

“Her skirt is so short.” Robin says.

“Yeah, she’s not leaving much to the imagination.” Steve says.

You take a deep breath. “She literally sat on my lap. I could feel her ass on my pants.”

“She has to like you, there is no way.” Eddie says.

“Maybe… She …” You start, but Chrissy rejoins the table and your arm moves around her waist again.

“What did I miss?” She asks.

“We were talking about your outfit! Y/N and I love it.” Robin says.

“Thanks Robin… right? We have math together?” Chrissy asks.

“Yeah, math.” Robin says. “No problem.”

Chrissy slurps down her drink, letting you take a sip. Your face flushes as you look up at her as you sip. You are unsure how much time has passed. Your head is spinning.

“Hey, it’s 8:30.” Steve says.

“Oh shit, walk me out?” Chrissy asks you.

“Ye-yeah.” You barely say.

You two both get up and you take her hand. You two walk to the front. You two walk outside. She immediately looks for Abigail’s car. She doesn’t see it.

“Abigail is always a few minutes late.” She says.

“Well, I hope you have fun.” You say.

“I would if you were going.” She half begs.

“Yeah right.” You mutter.

“I love hanging out with you, regardless of who we are around.” She comments.

“Yeah, I love hanging out with you, but being around Missy…” You trail off.

“Yeah, I know… We are seeing each other for brunch tomorrow. I can brag about how good you were tonight.” She closes any gap between you two.

You squeeze her hand and she squeezes yours. “Chrissy?” You start but there is a horn beep.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing… go, Abigail is here.” You reply.

“Tell me first.” She insists.

“Uh, nothing, I just like you.” You say.

“Yeah, you better like me. We are best friends.” She says.

“No… I like-like you.” You sigh a little dejected, feeling juvenile.

“Oh…” She responds with. “Uh…” She starts to walk off. “I’ll call you when I am home from Carver’s party.”

“Okay… I’ll be at Harrington’s.” You say as you watch her get in the car.

You feel tears fill your eyes. You walk over to where the van was, sliding it open and sitting down. The tears start to flow down your face. You are there for probably ten minutes and on a verge of a panic attack.

“Hey, she’s here!” Steve says after opening the door to find you. “Hey kiddo.” He moves to sit in the van, pulling you into his lap. His hand running up and down your back in a soothing manner, his other hand wiping your tears. “What are 5 things you can see?” Eddie and Robin join you two at the open door.

“I… the equipment, the stupid rug Eddie put in here, you, Robin, and Eddie.” You still have tears running down your face.

“What are 4 things you can feel?” Steve asks, still wiping your tears.

“The cold air, your hand, my jeans, and your shirt.” You answer him.

Robin watches him awe.

“3 things you can hear?” He continues to ask.

“Eddie kicking rocks, my own heart beat and the faint music of the headliner.” You say. You are feeling a lot calmer than earlier.

“How you feeling?” Eddie couldn’t help but ask.

Steve puts up a finger. “What about 2 things you smell?”

“Cigarettes and weed.” You answer.

“1 thing you can taste.” Steve finally asks.

“Uh, the alcohol from whatever fruit drink Chris had.” You say.

“Now, how are you feeling?” Steve asks.

“Better…” You say.

“You’re a fucking wizard, Steve.” Robin comments.

“You told Chrissy?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, she said ‘Oh…uh… I’ll call you when I am home.’ I am such an idiot.” You mumble.

“Oh come on, give her time to think.” Robin says.

“Yeah, thinking time. That’s all she needs.” Steve piggybacks off of Robin.

“What a good idea Steve, how did you come up with it?” Robin says.

“Well, I know what people need…” Steve starts.

“Shut up Steve…” Eddie says. “I am sure she does.”

You just nod your head. You and Steve climb out of the band. Eddie pulls you into a huge bear hug. You like the pressure he was providing, so no complaints. You four head back inside. Robin is able to score beers for the whole table. You guys drink a little bit. Sooner or later, Eddie takes Jeff and Gareth home, meanwhile he takes you and him to Steve’s since you were waiting for your phone call there. Steve and Robin are already there. You do take a moment to call your mom and left a voicemail to let her know you are at Steve’s. Steve finds more beer in the back of his fridge, collecting them for you four. You guys drink a beer. Steve’s phone finally rings after two hours. Steve picks up the phone.

“Harrington residence.” Steve answers the phone. “Yeah, she’s here. Hold on.” He hands the phone to you, mouthing ‘Chrissy’.

“Hey Chrissy.” You say quietly.

Eddie takes Steve and Robin’s hands and leads them to the back door, to give you privacy.

“Hey Y/N.” Chrissy sounds surprisingly sober.

“What’s up?” You want to act like tonight didn’t happen.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” She says.

“What?” You snap back.

“I literally couldn’t have been closer to you tonight. I sat on your lap for fuck sakes.” She says.

“But you have a crush on Eddie.” You say.

“No, I don’t. I’ve never had… well maybe a small one, but Y/N…” Chrissy says. “I love you. I will always love you. I just want to love you for the rest of my life.”

“Wait… I am sorry. You like-like me back?” You ask for clarification.

“What are we middle schoolers?” She says with a laugh. “Yes, you fucking idiot.”

“Chrissy…” You say with a smile. “I want to love you for the rest of my life too.”

“I wish I was there.” She says.

“Uh, no you don’t. Harrington’s house is so quiet, it’s creepy.” You say with a laugh.

“Yes, I do. Creepy or not. I want to kiss you… And I am not going to be able to kiss you until…” Chrissy says.

“Monday… Eddie can pick us both up.” You say.

“No… I am not kissing you Munson’s van.” She says. “Especially not for our first time.”

“What? No fun… Our spot in the woods?” You ask.

“Where Eddie also deals? Only if he doesn’t have one going on.” She says.

“Okay. I love you… girlfriend. I’ll see you tomorrow at brunch. Wear a cute dress.” You say, twirling the cord around your finger.

“I love you, girlfriend. Wear that cute red plaid skirt. I love it on you.” She says.

“Deal.” You say.

“Deal.” She says back.

You stand there for a minute before you hear the phone get hung up. You hang up the phone and squeal. You walk to the back door and open it, interrupting the whole conversation happening.

“Well?” Eddie asks.

“She’s my girlfriend. We are going to kiss at your dealspot, so no deals on Monday.” You say.

“You got it! Congrats!” He stands up and pulls you into a hug.

“YAAAY!” Robin says excitedly, joining the hug.

“Congrats!” Steve also joins the hug.

Fast forward to Monday, the final bell rings and you book it out of class and to the spot. You sit on the bench, feeling your leg bounce. It was so hard to not kiss her at all yesterday. You two held hands under the table though.

“Y/N!” Chrissy says as she walks over to you.

“Chrissy, hey!” You feel your heart swell up at the sight of her.

You stand up and slide a hand onto her face. You are about to lean forward, but she beats you to it. You are quick to reciprocate her kiss. Her arms are moving to go around your neck. You could cry. You finally get to kiss her. She parts from the kiss.

“I wanna tell my mom.” She says.

“Tell her. I don’t give a shit. You are perfect and if she kicks you out, you know my mom will take you in.” You move your arms to go around her waist.

“I love you.” She states.

“I love you.” You respond.

There is another quick kiss shared before you two part. Her and you walking out from the woods and to Eddie’s van - he offered a ride home at lunch.

[iamcalmdammit]

Rehab || [Eddie Diaz x reader]

(Based on this request. Anon, if you wanted something entirely different, I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry for presenting... this. I'm not happy at all. It's bad. And I couldn't make Eddie's dad an alcoholic. I didn't want to do this to him.)

Eddie noticed how your facial expression changed as your phone call progressed. Since he only heard your side of the conversation, he didn't know what this was all about, but he guessed it was something serious. Then you finally said goodbye and ended the call, only to sink on the couch a second later and bury your face into your palms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly as he crouched in front of you.

“My dad. He was out drinking in some bar, passed out, and had to be taken to the hospital.” While your voice was shaking, you weren’t on the verge of crying. He could tell that if anything, you were angry. “I need to call my mom. She will start defending him again, like she always does. I wish she would finally stop ignoring this problem.”

Letting out a sigh, he took your hands and gently kissed them. “I’ll ask Buck if he could keep an eye on Chris while we’re there. Just give me a minute.”

You nodded, so he stood up and called Buck, asking for his help without going into the details. Just as he expected, he agreed, which is why Eddie quickly explained his son that you had to leave for a few hours. He was glad his dad didn’t have such issues, especially with the physical distance between them. He had found a new family here in L.A. and moving back to his biological family wouldn’t be easy.

Meanwhile you got ready to leave as well, and were waiting by the door when he stepped into the living room. “You don’t have to come with me,” you told him quietly.

“I insist. Let’s go.”

The car ride to the hospital was quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. There were so many moments when Eddie wanted to say something, but each time he convinced himself that he should let you make the first step. If you wanted to talk about it, you would eventually. So he waited patiently, only looking over at you every once in a while.

It was a tough situation. He knew how badly you wanted to help your dad, but because your mother ignored the problem, it wasn’t an easy task. Every time you visited them with brochures for fancy rehab clinics, your mom immediately started yelling at you for being inconsiderate. Why she felt that way, even Eddie didn’t understand.

You only spoke up when he stopped the car in the parking lot. “I can’t let my mom ignore this anymore. But if things get out of hand, please, drag me out of there,” you asked him.

“I will, I promise. But you’re not alone. We’re going to talk to her as a team, okay? I’m here to help you,” he assured you with a small, sad smile.

Nodding, you got out of the car and the two of you went inside hand in hand. Your fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand and he could tell you were terrified of what you might hear in there. According to you, the hospital staff didn’t say much about your father’s condition. It could be anything. He could be totally fine, just drunk as hell, or maybe he was between life and death. Uncertainty sure wasn’t kind to your nerves so he couldn’t blame you for your anxiety.

“Oh, sweetie, you’re here,” a familiar voice said when you reached the waiting room.

Eddie let go of your hand so you could hug your mom then waited for his turn. “Did the doctors tell you anything?” he asked once he stepped back and wrapped an arm around you.

“He’s unconscious. Apparently, he fell and hit his head pretty hard. They don’t know if there’s any permanent damage yet.”

You shook your head at this. “You can’t keep telling yourself that everything is okay with him.”

“We don’t know if alcohol had anything to do with it,” she said defensively.

“Come on, Mom, it’s obvious. He was at a bar, he drank too much, and then he probably lost his balance or tripped in something, I don’t know. The point is that we can’t ignore this anymore. He needs to go to a rehab center once he’s out of here,” you explained angrily.

Eddie cleared his throat as he leaned down a bit. “Calm down.”

“I won’t calm down!”

“Hey, listen, I’m on your side, but—”

“Eddie, you know I like you, but stay out of this. This is between me and my daughter,” your mother told him calmly.

It was true from her point of view. It was a family issue that the two of you had to handle. But from your point of view, it was a little different. He’d already told you in the car—you were a team. And maybe it was the worst possible timing to say it, but he had to do it if he wanted to make your mother understand why he wants to have a say in this.

After glancing down at you for a second, he took a deep breath and said, “Well, I’m planning to be a part of your family, so I won’t back down. You need to listen to her because she only wants what’s the best for her father. And she’s right, she needs her dad to be sober on the day of our wedding.”

“Your wedding? Since when are you two talking about weddings?” she asked with a confused look on her face.

Letting out an annoyed groan, you raised your hand with the ring on it. “Since yesterday.”

“And you didn’t call me right away?”

“My engagement is not the point. The point is that Eddie is right. I need my father to be okay. I need him to stay sober. It’s hard to admit that he’s addicted, but he is. Accept it, Mom,” you explained.

Eddie watched your mom worriedly. Her face was pale, her breathing changed. Was she about to have a panic attack? He knew the symptoms way too well by now. But she soon regained control over her emotions and cleared her throat. “We can’t force him. But fine, I’ll talk to him when he wakes up. Only because my baby is getting married. I’m sure he would want to be there too.”

“Thank you,” you and Eddie said in unison.

[blueathens]

So Save Me, Before I Fall

                             ACT 1, SCENE 5

𝖲𝗈𝗇𝗀: 𝖮𝗇 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖭𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖮𝖿 𝖣𝖺𝗒𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖬𝖺𝗑 𝖱𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗍𝖾𝗋. 𝖰𝗎𝗈𝗍𝖾: "𝖪𝖠𝖲𝖤𝖸!"

𝖳𝖶: 𝖡𝗅𝗈𝗈𝖽, 𝖬𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖠𝖻𝗎𝗌𝖾 (𝖯𝗁𝗒𝗌𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖵𝖾𝗋𝖻𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒), 𝖲𝗎𝗂𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾 (𝖭𝗈𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍), 𝖮𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖽𝗈𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖶𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝖿𝖿.

A/N: There is a lot of back and forth with this one but it does make sense as it's showing different things such as the aftermath, Buck and Kasey begins and some dreamland thing/small memories of Kasey Begins (not the full thing though) (they also the ones without any heading to them)...You'll understand when you read it.

Masterlist//Dusk Till Dawn Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

                               THIRD POV                          20 Minutes Earlier

It was ten at night when Eddie finally got Christopher to sleep after visiting his grandmother in the hospital, and he was glad to see that she was doing better. He was enjoying Carla's presence and he was quick to find out how nice she was and how well she got on with Christopher. He also found out that it wasn't just Buck's idea for her to help him, but it was Kasey's too, and she would have told him if she didn't need to go back home to look after Bear, but she highly recommends her as she met her quite a few times. So, if two of his closest friends recommended her she must be good. Or he should at least give her chance. And even if it's just been a day, she has really proved herself within that day.

It was five minutes passed ten when Eddie cleaned the few dishes that was in the sink, so he didn't have to worry about them in the morning. As he scrubbed the dishes clean he could feel the small water wrinkles appear onto his fingertips, which reminded him to buy some rubber gloves so he could use that when he cleans. He turned off the hot tap and flicked his fingers up and down five times to get the water off from his hands. He then grabbed the tea towel that was hanging off the cupboard next to him to dry the dishes and put them away.

It was ten minutes passed ten when Eddie's phone began to ring. He just put the towel back and glanced at his phone. It showed up the number of the phone that was ringing him, meaning he didn't know this number. He didn't know many people, and the people he did know he had saved to his phone, like: he had his family members number's saved, the schools, the Diaz's doctors and dentist, some local takeaways, the members of the 118 and now Carla's. He picked up the phone and placed it by his ear, thinking it was the hospital about his abuela.

But it wasn't.

It was some strange woman's voice that he's never heard before. He bit his lip in thought when he heard a gruffy British voice say "Hello." He didn't realise he hasn't answered when it barked at him again. "Hello?" He leaned back on the countertops and cleared his voice before he started to speak.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr Diaz?" The woman asked.

"It is. Is this the hospital?"

"It certainly isn't."

He was confused to say the least. Who else would be ringing him if it wasn't the hospital? Who had his number that he didn't save into his phone? Why did they know his name, but he couldn't recall ever hearing their voice before?

"I'm Ms Matthews. Kasey's neighbour. Evan gave me your number in case something happened to Kasey as he never trusted the place she lived in."

Buck gave Kasey's neighbour his phone number without him even knowing? He doesn't mind as long as it for something important, and if Buck thinks the area Kasey lives in is untrustworthy then it was for an important reason. But he kind of wished Buck told him just so he would be aware if she ever did call him.

Eddie has also heard stories where Ms Matthews has called Buck to see if Kasey has eaten or looked after herself good enough, after saying she doesn't care, she never believed Kasey when she reassured her that she was fine. Ms Matthews always asked Buck on these phone calls if he and the other first responders was looking after themselves too, after saying she doesn't care, which Buck also told her they were good. He also knew Ms Matthews was one of the reasons why the apartment block allowed Kasey to keep Bear in her apartment, after saying she doesn't care, she argued that it be good for the girl after the things she will see being after of the fire crew, she said that she needs to come home to some comfort, after saying she doesn't care.

"Is Kasey okay?" Eddie asked with a voice of concern, he nibbled on his bottom lip waiting for Ms Matthews to speak. He wasn't too worried though as he thought this be one of her check-up calls, and she called him because Buck probably was asleep and not picking up his phone so alas she called him.

He heard a deep thump and a cry of pain.

"Ms Matthews?"

"Oh, Mr Diaz-"

"Please call me Eddie." He pleaded her, hearing her call him that made him feel kind of old, and if this was going to be a regular thing he defiantly didn't want her to keep on calling him that if she doesn't do the same for Kasey or Buck, but mind you she defiantly doesn't use their nicknames, so she must be a quite formal lady.

Eddie flinched again when he heard another cry of pain, it sounded so close to him. He then heard a loud bark.

"Is that you yelling Ms Mathews?"

"A neighbour knocked on my door for a noise complaint for number 12, Kasey's apartment, but I thought I should call Evan or you as I think something is wrong."

"Is that Kasey crying? You said Bear was barking? Have you knocked? Have you-"

"I'm too afraid too Eddie, the cops are coming but I thought it be best if you came too."

"Is Kasey okay?" He asked slowly.

"I-I..."

"Is Kasey okay?" He asked louder and more firmly. He noticed Christopher looking through the gap of his bedroom door, but he didn't care, he just needed to know if Kasey was okay. "You know what? I'm coming down to her place, I know where it is after I dropped her off once. Number 12, you said?"

"Yes, second floor. Eddie, hurry." Ms Matthews couldn't even tell him that she didn't care, she was too shaken with fear to even mutter it to him - even if she would tell you that mumbling is rude - she couldn't do anything, she just wanted to make sure Kasey was okay, she couldn't even knock on the door of the neighbour she didn't care about because she was too frightened too.

And Eddie hanged up and quickly placed his phone in the pockets of his tracksuit bottoms. He hurriedly around the apartment, putting his shoes on as he moved. "Christopher grabbed your crutches we need to go."

"Is Kasey okay?"

"Christopher, quickly please." Eddie asked desperately.

And Christopher grabbed them from where they stood leaning against his chest of drawers. Eddie picked up some shoes for him before picking Christopher up and moved to open his door.

It was fifteen minutes passed ten when Eddie drove quickly through the streets. Kasey only lived five minutes away from him. He didn't even notice if he drove through any red lights. His mind was on one thing and one thing only: Kasey.

If it was Bear barking it must've been Kasey crying. But what was that thump he heard? Did Kasey fall? But why would Bear have been barking for so long if Kasey would've been back no longer than half an hour?

The streetlights glowed down on the roads of LA. It almost seemed peaceful if it wasn't for the rain that was now falling from the skies. It wasn't predicted to rain; it wasn't predicated for at least a week. But here he was with his windows wipers on, pushing all the fallen rain off from his windshield. Christopher looked at his dad in bewilderment ever few seconds before looking out from his window, watching everything go pass quickly. He didn't want to speak, in case it made his dad break down, he saw how worried and scared he was on the phone about Kasey, and poor Christopher didn't know what was going on.

Everything was going pass so quickly until it all stopped.

Red light.

Eddie's fingers drummed against his steering wheel nervously, he bit his lip once again, the car engine was roaring, ready to go once the light turns green.

"No school tomorrow." Eddie said to Christopher.

"Why?"

"I'll say you're sick."

"Why?"

"Because we'll probably be out late, and you'll be tired."

Before Christopher could ask why again, the lights turned green, and Eddie drove off again. He turned left and parked into the carpark opposite the block of flats.

"Christopher stay in the car." He instructed as he climbed out the car.

"But dad-"

"Christopher, stay." And with that he closed the door before he remembered what Ms Matthews said about Buck not trusting this area, "Christopher, you're coming with." He told him when he opened the passenger door. He picked Christopher up along with his crutches and shoes before closing and locking the door behind him.

It was twenty minutes passed ten when Eddie heard no noise coming from the apartment block. No reason for Kasey to get noise complaint. There was no barking...

...Until five seconds after that thought he heard barking again. Crazy, loud barking.

Christopher had to cover his ears because it grew louder when they opened the apartment block. Eddie pressed the elevator button multiple times before he rushed away from it because it was taking too long. But he turned back around when he heard the ding. He rushed through the doors that was still opening and repeatedly pressed floor two. It felt like it was all going so slow. He moved passed apartment 12 and to number 14 hoping that this was Ms Matthews door, it was either this one or number 10 as the side Kasey lived on went up in even numbers.

He knocked. He knocked. He knocked again until the door opened.

"Yes?" The lady asked. "If you're here for noise complaint the cops are on their way and-"

"Are you Ms Matthews?"

"Yes, who's asking?" She asked in a thin voice.

"Eddie Diaz."

"Oh, Eddie, I told you Kasey lives-"

"Next door, I know." He spoke quickly and louder so he could be heard over Bear's barks. "I wouldn't usually do this, but can you look after my son please?"

"Certainly." She nodded, opening the door wider for Eddie to walk through and place Christopher on the coach.

"Okay, daddy be back soon okay, cover your ears if it gets too loud."

Christopher nodded.

"Evan's on his way."

"Who's Evan?" Christopher asked.

"Buck." Eddie answered before rushing out of the door.

"She has a spare key under that loose piece of carpet." Ms Matthews informed him as she stood by the door.

Eddie pulled the cream-stained carpet by her front door back and saw nothing.

"Oh." Ms Matthews said before closing the door to head back to Christopher.

Eddie was left with no other choice.

He heard sirens coming.

And he thought that it was the cops heading here for the noise complaint.

He kicked the door down.

"KASEY!" He called out desperately and Bear came running to him, barking madly before he stopped when he caught sight of Eddie.

The tanned colour round Bear's mouth was stained red.

Did Bear attack Kasey?

That wouldn't explain why he has been barking for ages.

Something else must've happened especially by how sad Bear looked. Bear ran behind Eddie, nudging him with his nose at the back of Eddie's leg, guiding him quickly to where Kasey was.

On the way Eddie saw blood splutters across the floor and wall, nail marks on the floorboards and...

...And the unconscious body laying across the stained white carpet and the floorboards.

"KASEY!" He slid across the floor on his knees, not caring that his grey bottoms was getting bloody. He pushed her onto her back and saw the massive bruises, cuts, blood...

...there was so much damage...

...there was so much blood...

He looked next to him and saw a baseball bat covered in blood, not a speck of wood to be seen.

It was twenty-three minutes passed ten when someone else came.

"Hello?" A voice called as they pushed open the already open front door.

Bear rushed to the sound and guided them the same way they did with Eddie, but Eddie didn't look for he was to worried with the sight in front of him. Her clothes was stained red so was her skin. And if there wasn't any blood covering a part of her skin all he could see was dark bruises.

There was so much blood.

"Bear...Bear...what are you – Eddie?" Eddie head snapped to face the person who gasped at the sight in front of them.

It was Athena.

Kasey laying there covered in blood and bruises. Not an ounce of skin to be seen.

Eddie tear filled eyes before he moved to face Kasey, ripping her top off to see more of the horrible sight. His hands touched her unresponsive hands, they were so cold. Her eyes was closed, but he could see bruises round them through the dripping blood coming from somewhere. She was just laying in her own pool of blood weakly. She wasn't moving...why won't she move? Eddie shook his head, getting rid of questions that won't be answered for a while. He just needs Kasey to be okay.

"This is Athena Grant." She spoke into her radio. "I need a 10-52 to the 12th room of the second floor. I repeat I need a 10-52 to the 12th room of the second floor urgently. Firefighter Kasey Strand is down, contact her team now."

"10-4." A voice spoke over her radio. "Captain Bobby Nash and Firefighter's Henrietta Wilson, Howard Han, Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz is being contacted now."

"No need to contact Eddie Diaz."

"Or Buck." Eddie's weak voice told her as he stared at Kasey in shock. His fingers pressed to her neck and wrist as he desperately tried to find a pulse.

"Or Firefighter Evan Buckley." She took a look at Kasey again. "Firefighter Kasey Strand is down." She repeated desperately as she kneeled down to sit next to Eddie who was still trying to find a pulse.

"Dispatch is on-"

"KASEY STRAND IS DOWN!" She yelled into her radio. "Suspect is missing, and Kasey Strand is dying." And with that she let go of her radio, not caring that she's handling this unprofessional. Kasey was like a daughter to her, and she wasn't going to let her die.

Now that her shirt was ripped open they could still only see blood.

There was so much blood.

"No pulse." Eddie muttered. He placed his hands over one another and pressed them firmly on her chest as he gave her CPR. "You do mouth to mouth after 30." He instructed Athena.

It was twenty-five minutes passed ten when two other people came pass.

"Evan! Over here! And you Ms!" The voice of Ms Matthews called and when Buck and Maddie ran past Kasey's apartment, they caught a quick glimpse of the blood in the hallways before they was pulled into Ms Matthews apartment where Christopher was.

Buck tried to get back to the apartment. He needed to know if Kasey was okay.

Maddie nearly screamed at the sight, but her scream got trapped in her throat when an arm tugged her away.

Buck was going to yell at Ms Matthews for dragging him away until he caught sight of Christopher.

"Eddie is in there Evan." Ms Matthews told him. "So is a cop."

But Buck still wanted to go in there, even if the sight he will see will haunt him forever.

There was so much blood.

"C'mon Kasey." Eddie muttered. Athena did two mouth-to-mouth restrictions before Eddie continued.

"Eddie we need to try to slow down the bleeding."

Eddie didn't even think of that he just wanted her to breath again, for him to feel her pulse again. Eddie pulled of his top and placed it on her stomach, his knee coming up to add pressure onto her stomach.

"Her head is bleeding too." Athena pointed out before taking of her jacket and assisting to the head injury.

"There's so much blood." His hands shook as he looked at the blood covering them. "There's so much blood." He cried louder, pressing his hands back onto her chest, knee firmly on her stomach. Bear was whining next to them, nudging Kasey's foot every few seconds in hopes she would wake up. Tears was streaming down both of the first responders faces. "Youhave to come back to us. We all need you...I need you to come back to me." Eddiecroaked out, his voice getting dryer and dryer due to the burning tears

Kasey Strand was down, and she wasn't getting back up.

Sirens was heard.

And the two could only pray that it was coming here.

"Wake up!" Eddie yelled, tears burning his hazel eyes. "Kasey, wake up!" He tapped the side of her pale cheek. Her skin was so white, and her lips was becoming bluey-grey. "P-please wake up..." His voice was quieter this time, just weakly begging her to wake up. "God damn it Kasey! Wake up!" He yelled again.

Athena and Eddie's clothing was covered in blood.

There was so much blood.

Tires screeching from outside was heard, doors slamming shot and loads of lights was flashing for the whole world to see.

Loud footsteps ran up the stairs.

"Hello?" A voice called.

"We're in here!" Yelled Athena. "Kasey, honey, you are not dying on us today, that is an order." She told Kasey, placing her lips back onto her cold ones. "You hear me, that is an order Kasey."

Kasey still didn't make any movement.

"That is an order Firefighter Strand!"

Nothing.

"Kasey! Open your eyes!" Eddie begged, his hands pressing against her chest. All he wanted was one sign that she was going to be okay. He just needed Kasey to be okay.

"Help is here honey, help is coming." Athena whispered to her, keeping firm hold of her bloody jacket against Kasey's head. "You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine." Athena stroked Kasey's cheek.

It was twenty-six minutes passed ten when a huge amount of people filled the room but the two didn't move until they felt hands grab them and pull them off from Kasey.

"No! No! No! No!" Eddie begged frantically trying to reach for Kasey as she wasn't breathing and there was no pressure on her wounds.

But through his blurred vision he saw paramedics sorting her out with things like the c-collar, bandages, injections to slow down the bleeding, breathing masks...just everything.

Eddie went limp in the paramedics arms as he cried hard in the arms of a stranger.

She couldn't die.

"We've got it from her, sir."

But Eddie didn't believe them. He fought one again against the paramedic that was holding him by the arms, dragging him further away from Kasey. Bear was barking when he saw them starting to take her away.

"You did everything you could, sir. We've got her now."

Everything fell silent to Eddie as he tried to fight to get back to Kasey.

He needed to make sure she was going to be okay.

But all hearing came back when he heard the officers near him.

"A violent dog is at the scene, may need to be put down."

"No! No!" Eddie screamed. "He's a police dog! He didn't do anything!"

The officer nodded at the one holding Bear, and he let go of the dog that ran into Eddie's now opened arms after the paramedic let go of him.

Ms Matthews, Buck, Maddie, and Christopher was by the front door, but Christopher's face was turned away so he couldn't see anything.

He was too young to see something like this.

"We're too late." Hen gasped as she and the rest of the 118 saw Kasey on the stretcher being carried to the ambulance outside. She was becoming paler and paler by the second, her lips become more bluey-grey, her skin was drying up, no longer sweating from the time she was breathing, the blood wouldn't stop rushing out...

...There was so much blood...

Eddie throat was dry from all the yelling. He was still crying...everyone who knows her was crying at the sight of her. Athena was holding the weapon with a gloved hand as she just stared into nothing. Eddie's eyes never left Kasey's unconscious body and when she went out of view he followed. He followed until the ambulance doors was closing and the last thing he heard was:

"Still no pulse."

They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. Which is true as your mind still has 7 minutes of brain activity after you take you last breath. And its within those 7 minutes that your mind plays back memories of your life like a dream sequence. It shows you all the good and bad. It shows you the first time you rode a bike to the first time you got your heartbroken. It shows you everything within those 7 minutes.

Kasey never wanted her life to flash before her eyes as most of it was things she never wanted to see again.

But alas it did.

She saw every happiness, every rage, every joy, every heartbreak, every pain...there was a lot of pain...she saw it all. She saw the ones she cared about the most and she saw the ones she hated the most. She saw everything.

Yet, the dream sequence was done in a blink of an eye, it was like it never happened.

It was like she was here all along.

Gentle waves rolled onto the shore, leaving little bubbly foam chasing your feet. It was clear. You would have never seen the sea so clear as it was now. Various of different fishes swam round, and the seaweed and coral waved with the waves. Everything seemed so happy. The never-ending golden sands stretches out as far as the eye could see, waiting for people to walk across it. But no one was around expect the girl in a white sundress sitting on the sand, watching the sun disappear behind the waves. She always preferred sunsets to sunrises. The clouds always seem fluffier and more gorgeous than ever at this time of day. The sky has never looked as pretty as it does right now. Warm colours of yellow, pink, orange, blue and purples filled the sky, and the girl could only stare at it in awe.

There was no sound except the sound of the waves, the seagulls swooping round the sky, and the gentle breeze of the sea pushing through the brown strands of hair that belonged to the only one that sat on the clean grains of sand.

There was a cliff in the near distance to the right. A lighthouse stood proudly on it, red and white strips wrapping round it like ribbon. The light was starting to flicker on to guide the incoming ships home. To guide them away from the death-traps that the sea held. To guide them to safety. The light from the tall building was the symbol of hope and safety. That if you keep an eye on the light and where it was pointing it will take you to safety. But the woman didn't look there, her eyes stayed on the fading sun.

Waiting for the darkness to steal the sun like it did to her.

                                2018

"Where's the rookie?" Kasey questioned as she strolled into the firehouse. Bobby glanced up at her as she wore a gentle smile as she fiddled with her keys in her hand, throwing it back and forth.

"I fired him."

"Oh."

"Caught him with another women, again."

"Oh."

Bobby dropped the clipboard onto the front seat of the fire engine, he slammed the door closed and leaned against the truck with his hands on his hips.

"You're standing how a Bobby Nash normally stands...but angrily." Kasey pointed out as she looked at her Captain. He sighed, shaking his head.

"He just so frustrating." Bobby huffed. "He's taking advantage of this job to impress women. He hasn't proved to me once that he is willing to do this job and – what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kasey had an eyebrow raised and looked unimpressed at Bobby. Her keys was now in both hands where her fingers just fiddled with the singular keyring that is attached to her car key and house key. She breathed in deeply before she started to speak her mind.

"I just think you made the wrong call." Kasey shrugged, pursing her lips to the side as she continued to think.

"He's acting like a teenage boy; he doesn't know what he wants." Bobby exclaimed. "He doesn't fight for this job like all of us...he doesn't fight for it like you do."

"I'm different."

"I know..."

Silence.

"You want me to go grocery shopping for the team?"

Kasey didn't know why she asked but she did. She didn't know why she drove to the one that wasn't the closest one to the firehouse. She drove to a different one, in uniform, with information paper to prove that she was a firefighter to get a discount. She didn't even know he was going to be there, but she was glad that he was there.

She never really spoke to him much, always just busy with her job. She also knew Bobby wasn't the biggest fan of the man, so Kasey never bothered in trying to get to know him if she thought he wouldn't be there for long. And she was right. But boy did she hate being right for this.

"Hey! Fire-truck stealer!" He turned around to see the familiar smiling girl who works at the 118 with a trolley full of food.

"Oh, hi, Kasey." Her face scrunched up at the sad tone of his voice as he walked towards her. He didn't know why she was speaking to him, it's not like they were close or anything.

"Bobby just told me, I'm sorry." Kasey sympathised. "But for what it's worth I think he made the wrong call."

"He's right though."

"I know he is, Mr Self-Diagnosed-Sex-Addict." She smirked, arms folding across her chest. "But you could've been a good firefighter if you tried."

Buck frowned at the use of name.

"You're not a sex addict." She admitted softly.

"I'm pretty sure I am."

"You're not. Not yet at least. Your not addicted to it just yet."

"What are you a sex-addiction expect?" He scoffed.

"Nah, but I know a lot about addictions. I can tell that your not one yet from your behaviour. Yes, you enjoy sex and everything, but you've been able to control yourself when you work with the 118, because you're getting the attention you want, you're distracted from everything. It's after it that you go towards sex because you don't have anything else to do. Sex is your only way to get the attention your lack."

"You don't know shit about me, you never spoke to me before only if you needed to, so why now?" He threw his arms up frantically.

"I'm observant. I've picked up on things. And I'm here to put you," she jabbed a finger into his chest, "back in your place." Her voice was harsher matching the man in front of her. Shoppers around them stared at them but Kasey didn't care, but Buck did.

"Can we do this somewhere else please?" He asked quietly, looking at the many eyes on the two.

"Don't look at them, look at me." She ordered him. His eyes moves to the girl in front of him, gulping slightly at her angry expression. "First of all, you are not a sex addict, not yet at least, you just enjoy the attention these girls give you because you never had enough attention in your life before. That's why you use this uniform for your own pleasure."

"I was fired for being a sex addict."

"God! How many times do I have to tell you? You are not a sex addict!" She clapped after each word of that sentence to get her point across. "You was fired because you didn't take this job seriously, you never proved yourself to the team."

"What?"

"I go against orders every day, but I always prove to the team that it's worth it...you just steal fire trucks to get attention. You have not once proved to us that your willing to fight for this team. For this family. Do you really want to be a firefighter and save lives? Is risking your own life worth it to save countless of overs? Is it worth it to you?"

"Yes." He stared at her wide eyed.

"Then prove it. You go out there and you prove to us, to the team, to the family, that you worth being a member on the team. Prove to me that I wasn't wrong in telling Bobby that he made the wrong call. Prove to Bobby and everyone else that they were wrong about you. Because I know for defiant that they were. I know you can do it, but it all up to you if you're willing to fight for this life."

He nodded.

"Is being a firefighter what you want to do?!" She raised her voice when she heard nothing coming from him.

"Yes!" He said loudly.

"Then fight for it."

                        2019 - Hospital

"I just got off the phone with Kasey's dad and brother, their getting the next plane out." Bobby told everyone who was waiting in the waiting room. Hen and her family was there, Athena, who was still in her bloody uniform, and her family was there, The Buckley's, Chimney, and the Diaz's. Eddie was still wearing his bloody clothes whilst Christopher slept on Carla's lap, who was also there. Bear was there too, sleeping at Eddie's feet.

"Athena, Eddie, maybe you should go to the bathroom to scrub some of the blood off if you're not going home." Bobby instructed kindly. They both nodded before heading to the female and male toilets.

Eddie looked himself in the glass mirror, his hair was messy, strands pointing in every direction, but so was the other's who was sitting outside. His eyes were red and watery, but so was everyone else who was outside. But it was only him and Athena covered in Kasey's blood.

There was so much blood.

It was eleven at night when Eddie started to scrub frantically at his hands, watching the blood slowly fall from his hands and into the sink that the water was spiralling in.

"Eddie." A voice called as they knocked on the closed door.

It was Carla.

"I grabbed some clothes for you on the way down here, it's outside the door if you want them. Michael did the same for Athena."

Eddie didn't respond.

"We'll be right outside."

It was silent again expect from the noise of the running tap. His hands was holding the side of the sink as he looked down at the bloody water.

Eddie never minded silence; he just was never familiar with it with the life he has. But silence was something that came when he fell asleep, and it was a sound he was so used to falling asleep to. It was a time he could just lie down and think.

But he didn't want to think now, not when his mind just replays the scene of finding Kasey and trying to save her. The door opened and he felt a small tug at his tracksuit bottoms. He looked down and saw Bear looking sadly up at him, rubbing his head against Eddie's leg for comfort. He bent down and started to pat Bear.

"She's going to be okay." He reassured himself and Bear. "She's going to be okay." But this time the words got caught in his throat, and a sob took over his words. He buried his face into Bear's fur and cried. Bear tucked his head into Eddie's shoulder, trying to comfort him in anyway he could, his head moving up and down slowly as if it was a human hand stroking him. A great tremor overtook Eddie as tears raced one another down his cheeks. His breathing quickened at every gut-wrenching sob that fell out from him. It was like he could still feel Kasey's cold body on his warm one, he could still remember how she looked, how death-like she looked. He still remembers all the blood.

There was so much blood.

And just by those thoughts he shook and cried harder, soft whines left Bear as well, knowing that Eddie wasn't going to calm down anytime soon. The tears burned against his red, swollen eyes; rashes started to climb across his face from the hot tears.

The only sound that filled the empty bathroom was the sound of suffering.

Kasey did ballet once for 7 months and 10 days. She never wanted to do it, but her mum dragged her into doing so. She was 10 at the time, and her mum forced her into doing ballet a week after the psychologist diagnosed her with depression.

She remembers her dance teacher screaming in her face on the 195th day of ballet because she chose to go to her Young Cadets instead of dance recital. She remembers the teacher spitting in her face at the disgusting behaviour of the young girl, saying the army was for the men and the arts was for the ladies. Kasey remembers saying "Fuck you," to the dance teacher before storming out of the hall, and she never came back. The only time she heard from the dance teacher was an hour later when she came home, she was yelling over the phone to her mum, saying what a spiteful little child she has, and the child deserves more than a slap on the wrist. Kasey didn't cry at those words, she instead grinned at the fact that she got out of ballet. But her mum and Enzo both yelled at her for her never learning how to behave. She remembers her dad yelling at her too when he finally came to see them, she remembers him telling her, "Why can't you listen to your mother for once? Why can't you do this one thing for her? Why do you have to make it so hard for us to be your parents!"

She remembers her mum asking TK what clubs he wanted to join. She was sat on the staircase with her head against the wall, listening intensively to the conversation, "TK can do whatever he wants to do", she said to Enzo. Kasey remembers that she had to fight to be able to join clubs that revolved around the army, it was only by the help of her dad and TK that her mum finally agreed to it after her dad said it might set the kid straight, she may stop behaving if she leant it the hard way. She remembers TK starting to argue with their mum, saying how unfair that was for Kasey if he could choose what he wanted to do. And Kasey remembers her response as clear as day; "Kasey is too sick in the head to know what she wants."

She silently cried at those words.

Kasey knows that she was always the misbehaviour, the rebel, the child who never got on with her parents because they saw her as nothing less but as a troublemaker. Kasey knows that TK was the golden boy of the family, the glue that was keeping things from fallen apart. TK was loved by both parents; her dad normally came back for TK and TK would never come with unless Kasey was coming too. She remembers just walking round the firehouse aimlessly, whilst her dad showed TK everything, she remembers learning more about being a firefighter than anyone else did when she walked around on her own. She remembers sneaking into the fire-engine when the bell rang, hiding from all the eyes. TK walked round the firehouse with the person Owen left him with, and he couldn't find her at all. Kasey remembers seeing the orange lights of the roaring fire for the first time. She remembers just staring at it with all the wonders of the world. And she remembers how happy everyone was when they was saved, and the fire was safely put out. That's when Kasey knew that this was what she wanted to do. She wanted to save lives and do something meaningfulness. And she wasn't going to do it for her family, she didn't need to make them proud, she didn't care for that. She was going to do this for herself and everyone else. Kasey remembers 22nd of September of the year of 2005 at the 18th hour was the time she knew she wanted to save lives and be a firefighter.

And then she remembers the next day she was screamed at. Her mum didn't want her to be a firefighter like Owen. She remembers TK piping into the screaming session and said that he wanted to be a firefighter too. Kasey thought that this was TK's way of getting their mum to stop yelling at her. But her mum turned to TK and said the words Kasey will always remember, "TK has what it takes to be a firefighter."

Her dad said the same thing the next time she and TK saw him, they were sitting in his car, and Kasey told him proudly that she was going to be a firefighter and save lives. Owen glanced at her through the mirror and shook his head before telling her, "no." She frowned, and TK noticed. He then told their dad that he wanted to be a firefighter too just like him. Owen smiled and said the words Kasey will always remember, "TK has what it takes to be a firefighter. You don't Kasey."

Kasey remembers it all.

Kasey remembers getting her first job, sort of. The leader of the Young Cadets she went to allowed her to help him clean up and he gave her money for it. But she got her real first job at the age of 13. And all the money she was given or found she saved. She saved them until she reached the age of 22. She saved it so she could escape New York and start a life of her own. She didn't know where she was going to go but young Kasey knew that anywhere that was far away from her family was good enough. TK knew Kasey wanted to leave when their 11th birthday rolled in, he remembers her crying in his arms, he remembers how she spoke to him, so weak and desperate to leave, it was like her heart was already shattered into millions of pieces and there was no chance of them being repaired. TK remembers her asking him why she wasn't good enough. Why their parents barley looked at her as if she wasn't their daughter. He remembers her asking him to take all the pain away. And TK remembers how confused he was because he didn't know how to do that.

But Kasey found a way when she was 13. It was May and the sun was shining through the bathroom window. She remembers the lines on her arms and thighs as she bled into the cold water of the bathtub. She remembers TK finding her just in time and she remembers waking up in the hospital room. She remembers her mum saying she had no reason to kill herself. And she remembers the doctors telling her that she has to go onto medications and get therapy. She remembers begging them no, but no one listened, she remembers telling them she'll be good that it was just a mistake, but they didn't listen. She was in different therapies for about three years, and she barely spoke to them. She remembers cops, doctors, psychologist, social services and all the others always dropping by to see how she was doing as all the therapists always told them that she barley spoke. But whenever they came by she was never in. She remembers when she was in one of the places she hated the most (the hospital) TK begged her to never leave him.

But Kasey remembers that a week after their 15th birthday TK overdosed. She remembers kicking down the bathroom door, the same bathroom that she was once in but forgot to lock. Maybe TK leant from her mistake. She remembers searching for a pulse, she remembers putting her head against his chest to her a heartbeat. And she heard it all. She called 9-1-1 and begged them to hurry. She remembers sitting against the cold bathroom wall, him between her legs as he limply laid against her back, she remembers putting her fingers into his mouth to get him to breath again. She cried into his neck whilst TK told her how sorry he was. She knows he overdosed on her prescriptive pills. The paramedics came along with their parents four minutes after she called 9-1-1. TK begged her not to leave him, so she was the one who climbed into the back of the ambulance and held his hand. She told him it was all going to be alright. TK told the doctors that he's an addict to drugs after a party he and Kasey went to 2 months before their 15th birthday. Kasey remembers blaming herself as she recalls her dragging him to that party. But she recalled incorrectly as it was the other way round, but yet she still blamed herself. Her parents blamed her too, but she didn't care, she just needed TK to be better.

He did, he got better after doing drugs for 2 more months. Kasey was the one who took him to rehab, she forged her parents signature to get him into the rehab centre 2 months after his overdose, she noticed no one was else was going to help TK legally so she took it up to do it herself. Kasey was the one who went to all of TK's appointments and whenever anyone asked she would show them a letter that she forged saying that their parents was too busy, and his sister will go with him. They rang once and that was when their parents found out TK was going through rehab. They was over the moon with that fact, but they weren't happy that Kasey helped illegally forging an agreement form to get TK into rehab. She yelled at them that she couldn't sit around, and watch TK destroy himself whilst his parents was too busy with their careers. She left that night for a whole week on her motorbike, she raced and raced until she got into an accident.

She remembers how her life just fell more from there, she didn't think that was possible, but clearly she was wrong.

Kasey remembers it all.

2018 - 1 Month After Buck Comes Back To The 118

House fires were usual.

It was probably one of the most common things they get called in for.

But Kasey watched the sight in front of her, the fire was soon going to become uncontrollable, there was fire everywhere, and yet there was people inside who still needed saving.

"I'll go in there Cap." Buck nodded towards the burning house, Bobby nodded, and Buck ran to get proper gear on.

"I'll go with." Kasey said and Buck froze slightly. Kasey hasn't spoken to him since she confronted him at the shops. He wanted to thank her for making him see more clearly of what he was losing, thanking her for actually helping him found who's he meant to be. He wanted to be her friend, but she just never gave him the time of the day. Did he not prove himself to her that this was what he wanted? He knew Kasey was the type to do reckless shit like him, but she was more reckless than him, constantly going against orders or just simply telling Bobby what she was going to do. It took a lot to tell Kasey don't do something reckless. Her mind was always on one thing and that was saving lives. He never seen anyone willing to risk everything for people they didn't know. He never seen a fighter like Kasey. She was different to the rest.

It was like the fire roared right in front of them when it heard firefighters was coming in. It was like a dragon, puffing out smoke from its nostrils. And when Buck and Kasey entered the house the dragon roared louder.

Outside the firefighters fought against the beast like knights.

Kasey and Buck was able to save the family of four that was trapped inside, but before Buck and Kasey could leave the house, the wooden beam from the ceiling came fallen down, causing more of the house to collapse.

Ashes fell around the firefighters as everyone stared in shock of what happened before an erupt of yells filled the streets. The dragon laughed as it watched the chaos around it. It blow out another puff of flames, hoping to find something else to catch on fire for it to eat, but disappointment filled it's guts when it found nothing but cold air.

"Two members of my team is still inside."

"They'll probably good as dead by now Captain Nash."

"We're not leaving until they come out alive."

A beam was on Buck's arm whilst Kasey's foot was trapped in the weak floorboards. She struggled against the boards that was trying to swallow her up whilst her ears was filling with sounds of Buck's cries of pain as the fire tickled his arm and the spraying noise of the water that was trying to kill the dragon.

"Buck! Buck! Buckaroo are you okay!" She yelled desperately.

"My a-arm!"

Her hands grabbed onto her leg as she pulled with all her might. She tumbled backwards when she was free, rolling to the side due to her back not being level due to the oxygen tank. She hurriedly crawled towards Buck as more wood fell around them. She heaved the beam, but it wouldn't move.

"Kasey, just go!"" Buck desperately yelled at her.

"I'm not leaving without you!"

"I saved those people and I need you to be safe then I know it was all worth it."

"I need to save you, or nothing is worth it. I need you on this team Buck and you are not leaving me."

"Why do you care? Why you talking to me again after a month of silence?"

"Because I didn't want you to follow my footsteps of being reckless."

"Too late for that." Buck laughed. She tried to move the beam again, but it still didn't move. "Kasey you don't need to save me, I'm not worth it." His voice was tired from the pressure of the beam.

"I would save you in a heartbeat."

And with that she pulled the beam up with all her strength and Buck quickly moved his arm with a scream, Kasey dropped the heavy wood and it banged onto the floor. She patted down his jacket sleeve to put out the small flickers of fire on it.

"You shouldn't be burnt to badly." She told him.

"Thank you." He coughed.

"Hey, I've got your back."

"And I've got yours, Kasey."

"Just Kas...you're family now so you can call me Kas."

"Kas." He spoke as Kasey pulled him up. It didn't feel foreign on his tongue, and he grinned. "You know, I think this is the beginning  of a beautiful friendship."

"You don't need to quote Casablanca." She giggled; Buck arm was thrown over her shoulder as they both helped each other to escape.

"I don't even know what that is."

"Well it's a good thing me and you are friends now."

They escaped a second before the whole house fell and paramedics rushed towards the two selfless firefighters and checked them out. It took another hour before the fire went out and the dragon was no more. It took two more minutes for the rest of the 118 to come and find Buck and Kasey who was sitting next to each other, covered up with bandages to heal any minor burns, they were laughing together, and Bobby knew he was going to regret saying yes to Buck asking for him to be partnered up with Kasey in the future. He shook his head at everything the duo did in the future, as two best friends. He couldn't believe that two people who was so similar found each other and they were both on his team. But he knew that the two was happy as they found each other, and they made the 118 a happier place.

"Why do you have 10 of the same grey shirts?" Kasey asked as she watched Buck, upside down on his bed, as he hanged up his laundry. The two was always at one another's apartment, Buck preferring Kasey to be at his more as it meant she was out of her own in the area he didn't trust. They both had spare keys to one another places and Bear become familiar with Buck along with their neighbours knowing who the other one was.

"They are not the same colour." Buck said in a-matter-of-fact tone. "This one is light grey, this is grey, this is dark grey, this one is a slate grey this one is a darker version of this one. And oh, this one is-" He turned around sheepishly to look at Kasey's amused expression.

"So, you're telling me you know different shades of grey, but you didn't know who Steven Spielberg was?"

"I know him now!"

"And now I know different shades of grey!"

The two always was there for one another and when Buck's landlord kicked him out, Kasey's door was wide open for him; literally. He moaned at the fact that anyone could walk in, and Kasey told him she was just opening the door to take the rubbish out. He told her about his shitty landlord and Kasey offered him her spare room until he found another place to live, and that place being Abby's.

And they always stayed with one another and saved each other in a heartbeat.

                           2019 - Hospital

It was fifteen minutes passed three in the morning when a doctor dressed in surgical clothing walked out, hands held slightly up as he spoke to Bobby, the room went silent, not like many was even talking to begin with, no one knew what to say. But Bobby and the surgeon muttered quietly amongst each other, and no one could even hear them in the silent room.

Eddie and Athena was in clean clothing, blood was off as best as they could from the soap and tap water, but they weren't going to leave anytime soon to shower and properly get rid of it.

They watched how the doctor shook his head at Bobby before walking back.

Bobby watched the door he left through, swinging back and forth, Buck rushed up and ran towards the door, but Bobby stopped him.

"Kasey!"

"Buck...Buck...stopped." Bobby ushered to him, but Buck kept on fighting against Bobby's arms that was wrapped around him, Michael stood up to help Bobby hold Buck back. Bear also jumped from his seat by Eddie's feet and ran towards Buck, trying to give him as much comfort as he could.

"We shouldn't be in a hospital; Kasey doesn't like hospitals...Kasey hates the hospitals." Buck cried.

"They're trying to save her life."

"S-She h-hates t-them, t-they a-always bring h-her bad news." His knee gave in, and he fell down, his shaky hands covering up his red face. "I-I didn't s-save h-her...I-I prom-promised her I-I would s-save h-her in a h-heart...in a heartbeat." He chocked out, crying in Bobby's arm like a young child, clinging onto him for dear life. "S-She-" He started to mumble incoherent things through his hands.

Bear tucked himself in the small gap between Buck's slightly opened thighs as he sat on the floor.

"She's a fighter Buck. It's going to be okay." Bobby reassured the young firefighter whilst everyone just watched Buck release all the emotions everyone was feeling.

"I can't stop seeing the blood." Athena voice was quiet as May and Harry hugged into her; her eyes was looking behind the two hugging men as Michael wondered back towards Athena. Eddie nodded weakly, his hand unconsciously stoked Christopher's hair as he now laid on his lap.

"She's going to be okay." Eddie muttered to reassure everyone's nerves, but he didn't know if he even believed his own words. It didn't help that he Michael muttered to Chimney what the doctor told Bobby.

The surgery isn't going well.

Her heart keeps on stopping.

There's too much blood.

They're struggling to find another pulse.

She'll be lucky to survive with the amount of blood she lost.

Eddie gulped as another singular tear rolled down his cheek. He has only just stopped crying and now here he was, crying again.

Karen was rubbing circles onto Hen's hand whilst Denny slept on Hen, hugging her tightly so she didn't feel any numbness. "I remember when Kasey first came to the 118." Hen laughed slightly at the memory. "Bobby literally dragged her in when we found her on one of our calls, saving people, she told us she was a firefighter but was new to the area. She warned us that if she wants her we have to know that she isn't easy to deal with. Bobby didn't care. He never saw anyone run into fire without any gear on without a second thought. And then Bobby told her that she has an offer to work with the 118 after getting off of the phone with the chief. And Kasey's only response was 'Which would you prefer to have as your room-mate? A cow or a pig?'"

The group chuckled lightly at the anecdote.

"That sounds like our Kasey." Buck sniffled.

"I remember that I arrested Kasey once for not leaving a pet shop." Athena added with a small smile.

"I remember Kasey scooping out all my peanut butter and put pop up snakes in them. So when I came to unscrewed the lid a green snake hit my in the face." Chimney smirked.

"Oh, yeah, you screamed like a little baby." Hen teased.

"I did not."

"You defiantly did." Bobby chuckled.

"I remember trying to teach her to cook once, she nearly burnt door the firehouse and she turned to me and said, 'It's a good thing we're firefighter or we would have been screwed.'"

It was all silent as everyone just thought about Kasey and all the good memories spent with her.

"Kasey was the first one to make me realise that Christopher and I have finally found the place we've been looking for." Eddie muttered. "I know I had the team, but she was the first one who made me feel like I could open up to you all."

"Kasey was the only one who believed in me when no one else did." Buck croaked out through small sniffles. "She's the only one who trusted me the most and helped me to get better. She changed me for the better, she made me realise that this, this was what I wanted to do, and I was gonna fight for it." Buck nodded to himself, still in Bobby's arms, not looking at anything but Bear. "Even when I had nothing I still had Kas." He hiccupped before he continued. "I-I don't know how to live without her, man." And with that Maddie rushed to Buck and took Bobby's space and comforted her little brother.

"I don't really know Kasey well, only spoke to her a few times as Buck has never got around to introducing me to her." She smiled shortly as she stroked Buck's hair, she could feel everyone's eyes on her, but she didn't care, her mind was to busy viewing the memory. "But I know that she's brave and selfless and will do anything to get back to the ones she loves. I know that she's a fighter from the second I saw her swinging on the rope that was keeping her and the lady she saved attached to the building. I remember watching how she never gave up trying to get back up into that building. She didn't think for a second that falling out that window could kill her, she just knew she had to save that lady. She's the least selfish person I've ever heard to speak, she wanted to make sure I was okay and asked me to contact Eddie's son school to see if he's fine too. She worried about everyone else before she took care of herself. And if that isn't a fighter then I don't know what is."

"Kasey's going to come back home to us." Chimney told everyone. "She's going to come home."

It was forty-four minutes passed three when Owen and TK came rushing into the hospital, TK pointing the group out as he met them before. Bobby told them the run-down whilst everyone just stared into an abyss of nothingness in their seats.

"I was so angry with her the last time I saw her." Owen muttered. "I told her she was never there for this family, and she called me out on my bullshit like always."

"She'll forgive you." Hen told him. "She's always talking about you two saying how proud she is of you two starting up the 126 again."

"When I came out to everyone at the age of 16 some guys was giving me shit for it at school." TK began after a few moments of silence. "So, that day, bear in mind she's straight, she yelled at all these guys saying love is love then she kissed one of my friends who she knew was a lesbian to prove to the jerks that it was okay to kiss the same gender. They punched her in the face for that, but she fought against these big football players. The teachers took them away and the group got suspended including Kasey. But she came back the next day, standing on the table of the rainbow-coloured cafeteria saying that you can't help who you love and it's okay. You can be whoever you want to be and don't let anyone tell you differently. She said this whole speech before the teachers took her home. In that week about twenty more people came out because of Kasey's speech."

"I remember that the school wouldn't stop calling me about her."

"That's Kasey being Kasey once again." Buck chuckled.

"I never couldn't have asked for a better sister." TK admitted sadly as he looked down at his fingers. "She promised me that she wouldn't leave me...s-she's not going to break that promise."

Flowers started to bloom through the sand, but the girl's eyes never left the setting sun, waiting in anticipation for the darkness to steal it away. Red poppies took over the golden sands in memory of the fallen.

"Wounds covered up, but she's still not responding."

The petals of the poppies started to fall slowly, disappearing into the sand, they was dying alone with everything on this beach. The sea become choppier it was no longer a sea of peace and clearness. The sky or clouds were no longer pretty to look at as it became darker. The lighthouse was frantically turning round and round in search for the one's who are lost, guiding them home.

But what was a home to someone who never had one before? What is a home for someone who only lived in a building made of bricks? What is a home if the place they've lived at was full of nothing but torturous yells? What was a home for someone who never had one before?

"The family isn't going to take the news well."

But a home isn't just a place.

"No family does."

It's also a person, or in this case a large amount of people. By definition a home is a place where your surrounded with those who love you, it's a place or feeling of belonging. Home is a place where you feel safe and where you can be yourself without feeling embarrassed. Home is found within people and not within a building. It's like when you feel homesick, you don't feel homesick for the building, you feel homesick for those you're away from.

And the girl on the beach was feeling quite homesick for those she misses.

"Try once more."

Thunder shook the ground, but the girl didn't move a muscle.

Home is full of laughter, love, and security. Home is where a family is found. And family doesn't just have to be the people you share DNA with...

"Again."

Thunder roared once more.

...Family are the people we choose to love, and they love back. It's the people who choose you over and over again, who wants you in their life; the ones who accept us for who we are. The ones who would do anything to make us happy and respects us. Family is the one who loves us no matter what we do. Family is the ones we fight to get back home too.

"Nothing."

It all went silent. And the girl didn't like the silence.

"We lost her."

All the petals fell, and the sun was showing it last beam of light. There was a long beeping noise somewhere in the distance, but the girl didn't turn to look. Her eyes stayed on the last life of the sun. The silence welcomed it first and now the darkness needs to. But it fought with all its strength to stay up for the girl, so she didn't forget this moment.

The lighthouse turned and the light shone into her face, begging her to look at it so it could guide her home...

The petals started to rise from the ground, spinning round in the small gentle breeze as the it reattached themselves to the steams. The red faded into a white.

The colour of safety...

The colour of surrendering...

The colour of peace...

The colour of hope...

And after all the begging, the girl finally looked at the lighthouse and the sound of a gentle beep after beep was heard.

                                  𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 ◁ II ▷𝑁𝑒𝑥𝑡                                       (AGAPE SERIES)

[shelby-love]

BOBBY NASH

Life as Cap's Daughter

Requested: yes

Author's note: I got a little carried away, but I wanted to DELIVER FROM POINT A (LOWEST) TO POINT B (BEST) PART OF HIS LIFE. Kept it realistic as possible plus it’s very long SO BEWARE

P.S. you can kind of see how my love for the man just SPILLED ... aka I kind of lost it and just hammered the numbers. It shows how unexperienced I am at these <3

Requests for 9-1-1 are OPEN

Headcanon

Bobby had you before Marcy and Athena were a part of his life

You were his little everything

The food he fed you growing up…

You would tell people that your dad's a chef, and not a firefighter

You thought a chef was a better job! You were four…

With your mom out of the picture it was just you and your dad for a big part of your childhood

He baby proofed the entire house

Balled his eyes out when he walked you to school for the very first time

When he met Marcy you were roughly around 8, but the two of you got along very well right off the bat

Even though he's a quiet, withdrawn man that likes to keep to himself, you were the one who brought out his witty side

He was very proud when you showed an interest in ice skating, it quickly became 'your thing' and Bobby loved that you inherited that from him

He's at all of your performances! 

He catches you every time no matter the situation

You loved Robert Jr. and Brook very much too, considering them your siblings without a doubt

You helped change their diapers, practically raised them with Marcy and your dad

Family dinners with Bobby's marvelous cooking – a must!

Bobby was very overprotective when you entered your teen years so thank god for Marcy (she was a saint)

He'd invite your date over and drill him while eating the nicest foods he prepared with extra caution

"Dad, that was a bit too much…"

"You think? I didn't even get to scratch the surface."

"Okay, honey, let her go have fun."

Marcy and the kids were there for you when your dad started to go south because of his injury

"Dad where are you going?"

"I'll be back soon. Don't worry about me."

For a moment you considered if life with him was even worth it

Wanting to finish high school as soon as possible just so you could get away from his lies was your darkest thought

But he is your father, and no one could change that

The fire though... It was the most heartbreaking moment of your life

You were out, so you weren't on the scene

But you wished you were at some point

You couldn't look at him after that

Went through the roughest time of your life

It felt like you jumped through time because you two were alone again

But that made you treasure each other more than anything

You watched him at his lowest and supported him when he started to get better

"Dad, please don't give up."

I don't think Bobby would be able to get through the trauma if it weren't for you

Not even his notebook was enough to keep him together – you were the glue

That's why making a fresh start in L.A. felt great

You two settled quickly; you giving in more effort than he did at first

Because you're smart like your father you got into a very very very good college in L.A.

"At least something's working out for once."

"Hey don't say that."

"But dad... It's true!"

When he told you, he was in station 118 you stalked researched them

Found out the address, looked at the place from outside using Google Street View

That kinda thing

"But dad. I'm just looking out for you!"

"I know. Thank you for that."

There's a lot of buts

But dad this but daaaad that

You're very annoying when you want to be

The two of you lived together, since you didn't trust him enough to move out and live on campus

He didn't bring you to the firehouse until he was 100% sure

No scratch that: until he was 100000% sure, you weren't stepping foot on the grounds of that station

When you did meet them, you loved Hen instantly

You wanted to come back just for her

Chimney was a bit awkward

He didn't know how to act around you

You were 18 but since you were Cap's daughter he didn't know if he had to treat you like you were 8 or not

Hen didn't have that problem obviously

She was so easy going you loved her instantly

Bobby has eyes everywhere when you're at the station

MEETING BUCK WAS HORRIBLE

Your dad was breathing down on your neck when you came to the firehouse one day and Buck 1.0 was working there (just started)

HE HIT ON YOU IT WAS HORRIBLE YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Neither did he once he found out

That was the day Bobby fired him bc he did the nasty with that lady in the firetruck

You came by like, "Hi, I'm Y/N nice to meet you Evan."

And then suddenly you had to go like, "Bye Ev- Buck… It was nice knowing you."

Buck went home that day – pride demolished

"Did you really have to do that dad?"

"I said three strikes, and he's out. He didn't listen."

Why didn't you come earlier? Surely you could have given Buck some great tips

"Oh, well."

Buck came back!

You became friends after that. Had a teasing relationship, never looked at each other the other way after that day

Y/N + Buck = BFF

You'd joke about your first tragic meeting and you’d go out with him when he was going through a dark time because of Abby

You didn’t drink, he did

Everyone loves you OBVIOUSLY

You're Cap's daughter I MEAN WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?

Eddie came too! Eventually.

You fell in love with him instantly

But you love his son even more than him

You'd take care of him whenever you had time and Eddie was busy working

You learned more facts about the world from little Christopher than from your own father

You often came by to eat lunch at the station because that's where your dad ‘the cook’ was

Maddie and you hit it off very well and became close friends

NOW MEETING ATHENA FOR THE FIRST TIME…

Your mouth was on the floor

She was so goddess like you were smitten by her

So, your dad and her announcing their relationship to you wasn't a surprise

You and Hen won the bet

Became close with May and Harry too although it was hard not to picture them as Brook and Robert at first

After your dad and Athena got married you finally felt as if you could breathe

Knowing that your dad was safe and sound, you moved over to campus but still had your own room at Athena's place

You go there every weekend

You're essential to the party planning

Even though you're a perfect little young adult you're ready to pull out the "My step-mom's a sergeant" card

A huge party was thrown for your 21st birthday

I'm talking BIG BIG BIG

Buck and you got drunk

Your dad got drunk too

Life turned around for the better although some pieces of past tragedies still lingered

You've let go of people but you and your dad also grew and healed enough to let new people into your lives

No one knows what life has in store for you two, but you both know it will be good

As long as you have each other

He's your pillar, and you are his in return, that's how it's always been

"I love you dad."

"I love you too kiddo."

~

Tags (general (all posts)): @fofisstilinski​​ @short-potato​​ @miranda0102​​  @httphiddlestan​​ @caromichaela​​ @xx-missunicorn-xx​​ @jemmakates​​ @theravenclawmarauder​​ @httphiddlestan​​ @tclaerh​​ @chefdoeuvre​

Tags (9-1-1): /

Let me know if you want to be added to my 9-1-1 tag list! My updated tag lists ♡

[sickofthistoxicshit]

Buddie 4x14 review - if you haven’t watched it yet don’t read.

The episode starts where we left it, once Buck was on the ground, it seems like he was thrust back into reality. I noticed two things here (connected with 4x13) Eddie didn’t close his eyes until Buck was safe behind the truck on the ground. And the second thing is that Buck was spurred into action the moment Eddie’s eyes closed.

And I mean this was some BAMF Buckley right there, that was SEALS trained Evan Buckley! 😱🤩 It’s like training and instinct kicked in and all that mattered was to get to Eddie and get him help as soon as possible, sniper’s bullets be damned. I gotta say it was executed to perfection❣

Big kudos to both Oliver and Ryan for delivering this whole sequence in a heart-wrenching, beautiful manner.

The shooting doesn’t stop and they get Eddie out of there under fire, I really like the 133 captain and crew, they worked so well with the members of the 118, it seemed effortless. (I’m not touching that subject, but let’s picture Buck lifting Eddie bodily up into his arms and in to the truck for just a second here. - I mean we wanted it but not under these circumstances)

Buck taking the role of medic when finally getting Eddie into the truck, is so amazing, he’s usually the one either in need for treatment or the one who stands back and let’s Hen, Chim and Eddie do the medic stuff, it is their jobs after all, but he doesn’t sit back and let the medics of the 133 to take over, he does it himself. 

He tore Eddie’s uniform’s buttons open (again, that’s not how any of us wished for this to happen), tore the pressure bandage wrap open and pressed it down on the wound, he did not step back from Eddie, until he absolutely has to, at the hospital. 😭

Eddie, my poor baby, was lying on the ground of the truck, bleeding and half conscious and the one thing he focused on was the blood on Buck’s shirt and he asked him if he’s hurt. I mean I could totally cry, because that’s Eddie. Best friend, combat medic, protective and caring, that never goes away even as he’s lying there bleeding. 🥺🥺

Eddie was legit ready to forget his injuries and try to get up and take care of Buck if he was hurt too. He loses consciousness only when Buck assures him that he’s not hurt.

Buck’s frantic litany of “Just hang on, we’re almost there.” and “I need you to hang on” (“I need you”, not we, not Christopher, “I need you”) was really hard to watch, because even though we all read and wrote it in fanfics thousands of times, watching it actually play out was heartbreaking, I totally teared up with Buck there.🥺🥺

For firefighters the job ends at the hospital doors, so Buck naturally, out of instinct stops from following. But that’s Eddie taken away from him and he looks frozen, at that moment he must have thousands of thoughts running around his head.

“You ok Buckley?”

Buck’s broken “No.” was maybe expected, but it was also earth shattering of sorts. This is Buck standing there, knowing (especially after the well incident) that when Eddie is not okay, he’s not either. 😭❤

I want to point out that I loved the fact that the 133 didn’t just drive away or waited outside for the cops, they went in after Eddie. And after trying to check in on Buck, the Captain of the 133 went in too.

I’m going to point out a parallel here between S3 Finale and S4 finale, in 3x18 Eddie asks Buck if he’s ok as his ex-girlfriend was taken in the ambulance with her new fiancé, Buck’s response was “What’s next?” and going back to work. He was okay, because Eddie was with him, and there was still work to be done.

Here in 4x14, Eddie is taken from him to the hospital, and Buck doesn’t know if he’ll live, so Buck’s obvious answer here is ‘No’.

Later we see Buck exiting the hospital, in his firefighter uniform. I’m a little disappointed we don’t see him cleaning up, I know that could have made for a hell of a scene, Oliver would have killed it, and us in my opinion.

Taylor is coming to the hospital, not as a reporter but as a friend. She was worried. I like that side of her, when she knows to put away the reporter and to make sure her friend is in one piece. Her character development is shown beautifully in this scene. 

Buck, in no condition to pretend and speak to the press, turns away from her, he doesn’t trust her at that moment and he doesn’t trust himself not to break down there. He’s teary, still in shock and his hands are shaking like crazy. (in complete contrast to the usual Buck, where he can be in danger or wrap up a crazy rescue and he is normally completely steady.)

Taylor, offered to take Buck to Eddie’s house to see Christopher, telling him he can’t go see Chris looking like he does now. “You can’t got see his son like that.” - At first hear and several others it sounded like “Your son.” - of course it’s not but either way it would have been true too, because in a way Buck has been co-parenting Christopher for a very long time now. And indeed later when Buck gets to Eddie’s house he is washed and dressed in civilian clothes.

The scene with Oli and Gavin killed me! I thought for sure the breaking down will be done in private, but Buck couldn’t hold it together in front of Christopher once he found out Eddie is going to be ok, and Christopher comforting Buck was so so sweet.

Christopher’s “like the ones who fixed you?” Kind of gives us a certain idea as to the conversation Eddie had to have with Christopher when Buck was hurt. His sweet “Then he’s going to be ok,” he says it with such conviction, only adding “right?” only as an afterthought.

And as if he manifested it himself Buck then gets a text from Bobby that tells him that Eddie pulled through surgery and it looks good.

Buck actually dropped the phone from the relief and he started to cry, and sweet, adorable, national treasure Christopher puts an arm around him and tells him that Eddie is going to be okay. I definitely cried with Buck here. It was such a powerful scene and it was portrayed so well by Oliver and Gavin. 

The “it’s going to be okay Buck” was kind of a call back to 3x01 - when Christopher reassures Buck and tells him “You’re going to be okay kid.” - I love these two together so much! ❤❤

When Bobby gives them the talk in the firehouse about how they proceed from there, Buck is standing with his arms crossed, looking completely dejected. And when Hen asks about the safety of their families, Bobby says there's no reason to believe they are in danger, Buck pipes in with “We didn’t have a reason to believe Eddie will get shot helping a kid either.” Buck is traumatized, and worried, he sleeps at Eddie’s house looking after Christopher.

I loved Christopher waking Buck up, and them having cereal breakfast together, a call back to Eddie and Christopher having breakfast together in 2x04. Buck doesn’t sit next to Chris, but across from him - to me it says that the seat between them is usually reserved to Eddie when they’re together at the house.

I love how Christopher’s teasing Buck about him snoring. And Buck is later confused because he’s unsure of whether or not Chris really understands what’s happening, but Carla assures him that he already lost his mother, unfortunately he understands better than he or she thinks. Which again should give people a new appreciation for Christopher’s sunshine child attitude.🥺❤

Carla showing up to take Christopher to school, is showing relief that Buck could finally sleep, which means that he didn’t for at least a couple of nights. She’s also asking him how it feels to go to work, Buck doesn’t even think about the sniper, for him all that matters is that Eddie is not out there with him and it feels off. (call back to 2x18 when Eddie seemed pensive about being back at work but Buck was not with them.)

Carla, bless her, retorts that that is not what she was asking - obviously she meant, she was worried about the sniper, but that is not Buck’s main worry, his head and his heart are somewhere else.

The crane scene was insane! I laughed when Chimney looked to Bobby and asked him “Can you blame him cap?” and Bobby flat out responded “Yeah!” 😂

The rescue was really impressive. However if Eddie ever found out about this he would probably hit Buck over the head with something heavy. It just goes to show that Eddie is Buck’s impulse control and vice-versa.

Bobby and Buck’s interaction wasn’t one of anger, Bobby was terrified and Buck was guilty but unapologetic, because he couldn’t protect Eddie but he could protect the rest of his family, so he did just that. Bobby didn’t have anything to say other than give him the same response Eddie did in Monsters - “Don’t do it again.” - Because for one, in my opinion, Bobby knows where Buck is coming from and also Bobby knows, he knows Eddie is Buck’s impulse control, knows he’s his anchor, he knows that Buck will only be his relatively normal self when Eddie comes back.

I’m not even going to touch the Taylor scene, yes she was worried, and yes she scolded him in a friendly way, but that kiss felt so out of left field for me, especially since Buck was just packing a bag to go stay with Christopher and Eddie was still unconscious at the hospital.

Also she freaking friendzoned him last episode, how fickle do male writers think women are? She gets a little scared and kisses the guy? Lucky they didn’t write in a sex scene! That was an insult to women everywhere in my opinion. It could have been set in so many better opportunities, why now? And if she’s scared now what’s to say that won’t make her leave like Ali did? I have a whole tirade about it but I will let it go for now.

Now I know ya’ll are like - Eddie woke up because his spidey senses told him someone was kissing his Buck (and I do not negate that point lol), but he just woke up and he asked for Buck. I find it so deliriously endearing that I need a moment even as I’m writing this.🤗🤗

I have to point out that there is no scene of Buck, Eddie and she who will not be name together other than the second when Buck walks in (read ran through the hospital corridors) and Eddie has only eyes for his partner. 👀❤

Afterwards it just the two of them, with a brief facetime to Christopher. I love that Eddie thanks Buck for staying with Chris, and Buck pretty much breaks down the logic behind the decision, like a true parent. - Christopher’s comfort came first in Buck’s eyes, and really that just demanded a hug right there.

“Is he doing ok?” 

Buck’s response here, was very honest, a lot more honest than I expected, “better than me.” He said. Buck openly admits to Eddie, “I kinda lost it when I told him you got shot. I’m sorry I should have held it together.” To be honest, I’m very curious as to the ins and outs of Buck and Eddie’s friendship, especially during quarantine, they seem so much closer, a lot more open. More honest than you'd expect two male, straight, lead characters to be with their friends.

Buck would have played it down and shared only the essentials when it’s anybody else. With Eddie he openly saying here, in his own way, ‘I was terrified, and heartbroken, and ‘couldn’t imagine my world without you.’ - ‘I couldn’t function with a clear head.’ - ‘all my masks were shattered.’ 

“You were there for him when I couldn’t be, that’s what matters.” Eddie knows, buck, he understands him better than anyone, he’s telling him here in his own way that it’s okay, and he loves him just the way he is - it was his way to reassure Buck that he was doing just fine.

But Buck’s “Still I think it might have been better for him if I was the one who got shot.” - Eddie looked like he was ready to get up and smack some sense into Buck. 

I want to point out that Buck’s response to Eddie being hurt or in danger is nowhere near the same as his response to anyone else in danger. Case in point in 4x14 is Bobby, he is inside, probably injured, in a fire with a gunman - if it was Eddie, Buck would have waited 0.1 seconds before he disappeared back into the flames to help Eddie. 

With Bobby, he was calm, cool, calculated, he knew what Athena would do because that’s exactly what he would have done if it had been Eddie and he is ready with helpful details and a plan. He wants to go with her, but doesn’t argue when she says no. 

Eddie is Buck’s Bobby, and it reflects all throughout this episode, and I think I had some parallels pointed out in 4x13 too. So I don’t know what scripts Tim reads or if we’re all watching the same show but buddie exists and thriving as far as I’m concerned.

Buck is also the one to pick Eddie up at the hospital - he tells him that the nurse is getting his meds and discharge papers ready, which means that Buck did all that process, he was busy getting Eddie discharged. (Take a moment to soak it in.)😌

Eddie sits Buck down to talk, to be honest this talk went pretty much the way I expected it. 

Eddie explains why he had his will updated, and that Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to Eddie. - I love that after all this time, sweet Buck is still surprised. 

He asks if Eddie didn’t need his consent for this and Eddie’s reply is: “My attorney said you could refuse.”  

I also love, that even shell-shocked, Buck knows that Eddie knows him “You know I wouldn’t.”

And Eddie assures him that he does in fact know Buck, and he knows that Buck loves Christopher as much as Eddie does “I know you wouldn’t.” 

(”I had to do it.” - “Yeah, I know you did.” this was a call back to 4x05 where Eddie understood why Buck did what he did. And knowing what we know now, I can assume that even though Eddie understood and forgave Buck, he didn’t have to like it.)

“No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.” - call back to 3x03 anyone? 

“There’s no one I trust with my son more than you.” - and Eddie proves it time and again.

And here he is basically giving Buck permission to give hell to his parents or anyone who tries to take Christopher away from His Buck. - And I love it!! 🤗❤

Buck, smart, handsome guy that he is, asks the right question again - “Why are you just telling me now?”

“Because Evan.” That first name that even took Buck by surprise, because Eddie only ever called him Buck, to our knowledge anyway. - Eddie was talking to Evan Buckley, not Buck, and yes they are two separate entities living inside one hunky firefighter. - This is Eddie saying, I know you’re frayed around the edges, I know I’m asking for a lot right now but I need you to hear me.

“You came in here the other day and you said it would have been better if you who were the one who was shot,” and I think for Eddie, who was lying on that firetruck floor bleeding out, and his only concern was that Buck may have been hurt, that was the worst thing Buck could have said. 

“you act like you’re expandable but you’re wrong.” 

Eddie has been where Buck is at that moment, losing his wife, watching his best friend nearly die time and again. - Really at this point Eddie just wants him safe, and if telling him about Christopher is what will do the trick, then he is not above playing dirty.

Eddie is telling Buck, you are my partner, you are Christopher's second parent, I love you, Christopher loves you, I don’t know what I’d do without you. - Because Eddie has been without Buck before and he was completely lost. - And that’s before they became even more intertwined as they are now. 

I love the second before Buck and Eddie enter, Eddie’s house, before Buck opens the door, Eddie looks like he’s steeling himself to get in and Buck has a knowing grin on his face, somewhere between ‘ready?’ and ‘they’re happy you’re back be nice.’ 👀😂

I hated the jump forward, but everyone standing on the roof looking good and Eddie with those sunglasses? wow!! 🥵🤩

This was an all out buddie episode, and I was totally there for it!! I really hope for many more, because these two give me life!!

[iconicbuck]

Is he talking to Taylor here? I don't think so. My guess is that Taylor's not even there yet. I feel like this scene is in Bobby and Athena's house. They probably have a small gathering there to celebrate the success of their call. My theory about the "great" line is, Eddie comes to Buck to where he's standing and invited him to his house to finally meet Ana for dinner or whatever. Buck of course agree and he felt like uncomfortable ( I have no proof to back up his discomfort but the way how he looks when he said "great" doesn't look or sound like he's excited or happy) then Eddie is glad Buck agrees and leave him to meet the other people in the area. That moment is when he said "great" and then the doorbell rings signaling Taylor's arrival.

Then here it is, Buck and Taylor finally talking and even said they make a great team.

But what makes Eddie decides to finally introduce Buck to Ana after more than 3 months of dating?

Again, my theory about this came from a pattern of events that happened from the previous episodes. Eddie's impulsive decisions has something to do with Buck's actions. Here's why.

Taylor Kelly was first introduced in 2x06 Dosed episode. Buck clearly show interest on Taylor after rescuing her on that chopper. It was also clear he show his interest when Taylor visited the firehouse for a documentary. Everybody was there to witness, including Eddie.

Shannon was first introduced in 2x07 Haunted episode through Carla's insistence. Carla talked sense to Eddie that Christopher needs his mother though Eddie made it pretty clear he doesn't want Shannon back in his life but because of Carla and the school, he finally gave in and invited Shan to his house. After the argument, he considered reconciling with his wife after the school visit and kissed her. Though hesitant at first, he kissed her again like kissing all his pain away.

Buck jumps back to the dating scene in 2x08 Buck Actually episode. He had sex with Taylor in a public restroom. He even went as far as talking about it to the 118 especially with Bobby. Eddie was there and he heard it. Also, during the episode, Ali's been calling Buck but was hesitant at first. Closing the episode, he finally agreed to meet Ali in a shop. That's when they started dating.

It is now known to everyone that Buck is dating Ali. This is when Eddie finally had sex with his wife in 2x10 Merry Ex-mas episode. After having sex and arguments, Eddie invited Buck instead to join him and Christopher to visit Santa. Buck loves to cry about the military surprised their family videos, Eddie realizes that he fully needs Shannon for Christopher.

Buck and Ali's relationship continues to grow (but there wasn't any build up) Buck finally found an apartment for himself so Ali can stay whenever she wants. Eddie and Shannon's relationship reconciled but it feels like they're both walking on eggshells. The only push that Eddie needs is that when Shannon though she's pregnant but was false alarm. She felt like Eddie looked at her as Chris' mom but not his wife anymore and so she wanted file a divorce and eventually died in 2x17 Careful what you wish for episode.

In 2x18, Ali left Buck. She loves him yes, but she can't handle Buck's job anymore after seeing him almost died.

Season 3 both Buck and Eddie are single. Hmm suspicious.

In Season 4 (LS's crossover episode) Buck was caught staring to Marjan by Hen and Eddie confirmed it by saying "you're staring" looking disappointed. Disappointed Eddie joins Judd, Paul and Marjan instead of his partner. He was intrigued why Buck was staring at her and decides to follows her on Insta. He talks about Buck helping him build the skateboard (It was Buck's idea anyway) and not-so defending him that he's harmless but mostly. It was bordering defending but clearing him while staring at Marjan to get a reaction from her. And later on asked her to follow back Buck in Insta. A mission accomplished for Eddie.

In 4x06, Buck announced the software update to Buck 3.0 - Kinder and Gentler version of himself. It was also his declaration of moving on from the past and starts to look for his future because he was tired of looking behind his shoulder. Eddie processed all the new information and even said that Buck should allow to give himself some time to process. An advice that he's been doing to himself, allowing some time to mourn more. STUCK. Eddie met Ana again. He talked about it to Buck but nothing came out of their conversation. He almost forgot about it when Buck's bratty attitude cornered him in front of his team mates about Ana's love languages (Like as if Eddie knows, right?) Hen, Chim and Bobby interrogates him about her. It was then implied that Eddie has no plans of dating Ana but it was Bobby that pushed him to go back out there to find something real. So Eddie dates Ana in an episode called JINX.

After learning Eddie's date (an implied scenario) Buck let himself back to the market as well in 4x07 and dated Veronica. It ended up in a disaster. He talks about it to Eddie even if the date didn't end well. Information is key.

After learning of Buck's back to dating again, Eddie dates Ana again, in her house. A Math date which he set an alarm for. Eddie did even say she's a terrible Math teacher but a great cook and an amazing woman. Just like a female version of someone. Buck is terrible at Math, can cook and obviously an amazing guy. Buck asked Eddie how was the date and he answered without looking his eye that she taught her MATH. It was an intentional slap to Buck's lack of Math knowledge. Why mention Math? I will never understand. Also, Taylor Kelly is back again. Covering at the same time the 118 attending the call. Buck was with Taylor most of the 6-hour waiting call while the 118 we're almost together. An implication that everyone knows including Eddie that Buck is with Taylor talking to her the whole damn time. So that night an impulse decision was made, he tells Chris that he's seeing someone. Christopher didn't take the news right and went straight to Buck's. Since they didn't show the scene where Eddie picks Chris to Buck's house where most probably he learned that Buck just came from a double date with Taylor and Albert with Veronica, and after learning Taylor called Buck to ask for a miracle, another impulse decision Eddie has made, he let Ana introduce her to his son too soon..

While Buck and Taylor continues to be friends, Eddie and Ana's relationship continues after 3 months of dating as seen by the time jump in 4x10 Parenthood episode.

As you can see, everything that Buck does first, it affects Eddie... In a very SUBTLE WAY. Another perfect example was the lawsuit. Buck's lawyer told Buck to stop communicating to the 118 (including Eddie) until the arbitration. The none contact triggered Eddie's past from Shannon. It was an implication that he put Buck in Shannon's position. The none contact has seen Eddie in an instant downward spiral. His impulsive decisions and constipated emotions led him to jail and almost kill someone in an underground fight club. This is the same person who will do everything for his SON, fyi.

So what I'm trying to say again here is, after the episodes 4x11 and 4x12 where most probably a Buck/Taylor centric episodes, Eddie's gonna make an impulse decision again and invite Buck to finally meet Ana to his house. And Buck, most probably bring Taylor with him. We'll see about that.

[dirtycreekwater]

Running Away Is Easy

Buck’s hidden it really well but he hasn’t been himself since the lawsuit. so he decides literally following in his sister’s footsteps is what would be best for everyone.

word count: 734

part one. part two. part three. part four.

tw • neglect mention, violence mention, accident/injury mention. natural disaster/drowning mention, ptsd/dissociation type symptoms, anxiety/depression/insecurity themes • tw

a/n: this was originally going to just be a one shot song fic for time moves slow but then listening to to build a home gave me an idea on how to make it a lil series so enjoy lol also im sorry if theres ever any parts that don’t make sense i wrote this when i was sleep deprived and tbh thats usually how im able to write lmfao

——————————————————

I found you at the window again

Looking out, watching the leaves falling in

And it was something like a dream

Wow, so perfect, couldn't talk to me

Buck wasn’t entirely sure when he had made up his mind. Maybe it was during the aftermath of the lawsuit. Maybe it was when he learned his parents kept a huge secret from him and never really wanted him. Maybe it was when Bobby tore into him for basically painting a target on his chest. Maybe it was when Chimney lost control and hit him. Or maybe it was one of the times Eddie falls quiet in his presence, and simply watches the world go by.

Time moves slow

When you're all alone

Sometimes Buck swears he’s still under the ladder truck, and everything that’s happened since has all been a vivid hallucination. He almost wished that were true. Maybe there’s a version of himself that didn’t fuck everything up beyond total repair.

And the time moves slow

When you're out on your own

Other times Buck feels like he’s drowning. Like the waves of the tsunami pulled him under, and he never resurfaced; he’s constantly struggling against the force and he can never swim fast enough.

And the time moves slow

When you're missing a friend

Things seemed to have gone back to normal from an outside perspective. To him though his family has never felt the same.

And the time moves slow

When you came to the end

At this point Buck was on autopilot, just moving through the motions. To others he seemed fine. Like Buck 3.0.

He had never felt more numb.

Running away is easy

It's the leaving that's hard

Logistically, Buck knew his decision to leave and start over wouldn’t be too difficult. He’s done it so many times before he’s lost count. It was different now though. He finally had a real family, a stable job. People to come home to. Was he really going to leave that all behind? It may not be the same anymore, but it’s still something. And maybe something was all he needed. Just anything to hold on to. Even if his grasp was slipping more and more everyday. It was lonely but it was tangible and reachable. Nothing else existed outside of this bubble he’s created. It was all a concept. A what if.

Running away is easy

It's the living that's hard

He just wasn’t really sure if he was truly living anymore. Was trying to hold onto something that could so easily be taken away worth it? Bobby would probably give him that look, and say yes. Yes, of course it’s worth it. Hold it as tight as you can. You’ll regret it if you’re the one to let go.

And loving you was easy

It was you leaving that scarred

Bobby’s advice wouldn’t help much though. So many people have left him already. Maddie abandoned him and then left again, Chimney basically left twice; the punch was the first loose thread, leaving tore everything to shreds. Eddie never physically left, but does that matter when it constantly feels like he’s pulling away?

But what was I to do?

Just couldn't help myself falling in love with you

And what could I say?

Oh, if I had another chance

To make you stay

'Cause when you ran away

I knew just what you were thinking that day

You just didn't love me like I do

Like I love you

To think Eddie could ever love him back was foolish; a pipe dream.

The sad thing is we're better off this way

Time moves slow

When you can't have a thing

Time moves slow

When you're lost in the dream

Time moves slow

When you wait by the phone

His decision was final. He wasn’t going to drag anyone down with him anymore.

Buck set his car keys down onto the counter, grabbed his luggage, and made his way out of the loft that never quite felt like home.

And as if Sunny California was mocking him, rain poured down his back as he rushed to catch the next bus out of the city.

His phone managed to survive the torrential downpour so he checked the time.

7:30am. Thirty minutes into his shift.

He hasn’t received a single call or text.

And the time moves slow

When you're all alone

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

I Can Feel the Magic Floating In the Air

For @tropetember day 7: mutual pining Fandom: 911 Pairing: Buck x Eddie, other canon relationships Word Count for this chapter: 1,810 Notes: This is a three part chapter story with each chapter a different prompt for tropetember each chapter will be posted on the other dates and the rating will rise in the third chapter. Also there is minor Eddie/Ana.  Summary: With a distance growing between him and Eddie since Eddie started dating Ana Buck finds himself growing closer to Josh. When Josh admits to him that he hasn't tried dating since that horrible night Buck decides to introduce Josh to an ex that he remained friends with. Buck just would like to know why Eddie is acting like a jealous and possessive ex-husband when he talks about Henry. You can also read it on AO3

There was a distance between him and Eddie ever since Eddie had begun dating Ana. Most of the time Buck didn't recognize the man his best friend was. It was like Eddie was playing the part of Edmundo, Ana's perfect version of what she wants Eddie to be. He missed his Eddie. Not that Eddie was his and he had any claim to him but he still didn't like Ana's Edmundo.

Buck was doing his best to put aside and enjoying the time that he did have with Eddie and Christopher, which had dwindled down, even their movie nights which were once every Friday were now once a month. And sure it hurt when Eddie would call him to babysit Christopher, not that he didn't love spending time with his favourite Diaz, he just wishes that Eddie would call him for other reasons, even if it was just to hang out.

Then Ana started showing up on the few times that Buck had with Eddie and Christopher. He hadn't been the only one who had been disappointed in Ana's "surprise" visit as Christopher looked so downhearted before excusing himself to go play Legos in his room.

"You want to come Buck?" Christopher asked him with a soft smile on his face.

Buck's heart melted at that smile, "I will join you in a moment bud, why don't you get them picked out for us first and we will make something so epic that Karen and Michael will be so impressed that they will once again fight over who you take after more Karen or Michael." Buck suggested.

A series of giggles escaped Christopher as he recalled the science project that Buck had helped him create that wowed everyone that Karen and Michael had ended up in a heated debt about, Hen and David both informed them all that they were still arguing over whose footsteps Christopher should follow.

Watching Christopher leave the living room Buck didn't know why he stayed behind he didn't need to watch Ana drape herself all over Eddie, laying her claim that Eddie is hers.

"So Buck, do you think you can watch Christopher for Eddie and me this weekend? We wanted to have some grown-up alone time together." Ana asked in a sickeningly sweet voice as she stared at Buck with an expected look in her eyes like all she saw was an on-call babysitter and not someone who was woven so deeply into the Diaz family that he was considered family.

Glancing at Eddie he saw a surprised look in his best friend's eyes but Eddie made no move to correct her. Buck could understand Ana was perfect, his parents would love her and finally show him the approval he craves, the same that Buck craves from his parents only he would never get it while Eddie would as long as he twisted and turned himself into Edmundo.

Buck couldn't do this, he loves Christopher and he loves Eddie but he can't be downgraded to just a babysitter for them. He wouldn't survive it. With a heavy heart he put on a mask, "I'm so sorry Ana. I can't. I have plans with Josh this weekend. I'm sure that you can find someone else on short notice to babysit or did you ask me because you think I have no life and no one waiting for me at home that I am always free?" Buck asked in a pleasant tone.

Something unpleasant grew in Eddie's chest at Buck's response to Ana's question. He had asked not to say anything to Buck. He hadn't even agreed to go away this weekend with her. It was the first one he had off in a while and he had hoped to spend it with his son, who had been a champ about letting Ana spend more time with them when it was clear that he was missing Buck. As he was. He wanted to spend this weekend with Christopher and Buck, his boys, he hadn't made any plans with Ana and he hated how she seemed to disregard his feelings and thoughts and go ahead with what she wanted.

"Your spending the weekend with Josh?" Eddie didn't like that. What he has heard from Buck, Chimney and Maddie Josh is a nice guy but the idea of Buck spending time with another guy rubbed him the wrong way.

"Yep, Josh got a dog and he wanted to get her settled before introducing her to people. She is a rescue and came from an abusive owner. I can't wait to meet her." Buck's eyes were sparkling. Pulling out his phone he pulled up a picture of a sweet-looking brown with white on her underbelly pitbull smiling as happily wearing a flower crown. "Isn't she the sweetest thing? To think that anyone could hurt her, people can be monsters."

The sudden urge to hug Buck over took Eddie and the only reason he couldn't was the hold Ana had on him. "She looks adorable what is her name?"

"Adora." Buck happily told Eddie, "Named after the Princess of Power herself. Given everything she has gone through Josh thought she needed a strong and beautiful name."

Eddie didn't know why he found himself so jealous over Buck acting like a co-parent with Josh over Josh's dog. "Maybe Christopher can meet her someday." Eddie knew that Christopher would be over the moon at that, he had been begging him to get him a dog for months now.

"Sure. I think we can arrange for Adora to meet Christopher as well as Henry and Denny." Buck looks excited at that idea.

"I don't think that is wise. Pitbulls as a dangerous breed of dogs. I don't think a child as sensitive as Christopher should be around something so dangerous." Ana spoke up, she was tired of being ignored.

A dark look appeared in Buck's eyes, "There are no dangerous dogs they are just who they are because of how people treated them. Pitbulls get a bad reputation because of humans not because of them. They are hurt and beaten until they are turned into what their so-called owners want them to be. Adora is a sweetheart and Josh has shown her the love and kindness she has been denied all her life. Now if you excuse me I have a Lego time to get to with Christopher."

"Well, that was rude and uncalled for," Ana muttered under her breath once Buck was gone.

"Yes, what you said to Buck was uncalled for. I hope you apologize to him. And what is this about going away for an adult weekend? I don't recall being asked or agreeing to it." Eddie wasn't happy with his girlfriend.

A pout appeared on Ana's face as she attempted to snuggle close to him only for Eddie to pull away from her. "I thought it would be nice for the two of us to have some adult time. We have been dating for months I think it is time that we spend the nights together."

Eddie froze, he should be saying yes. Ana is his girlfriend, she is sweet, smart and sexy, he should be thrilled at the idea of them finally crossing that line but he isn't. He doesn't want to sleep with her. "I think that you should go. Today was the day that I was meant to spend with my son and Buck, just the three of us, a boy's day. You knew that but still invited yourself over. Now I am asking you to leave so I can salvage this day."

Stung Ana reared back a hurt look that gave way to anger appeared on her face, "Are you choosing Buck over me?" She demanded.

Looking at Ana Eddie realized that if she left and walked out of his life today he wouldn't miss her as much as he did miss spending time with Buck. "I am."

Climbing to her feet Ana grabbed her bag, "Call me Eddie when you come to your senses."

When he didn't feel the terror griping him like he did when Bobby had informed them that they couldn't talk to Buck during that horrible time of the lawsuit Eddie knew that he and Ana just weren't meant to be.

But right now it didn't matter what matter was spending time with his boys.

+******+

"So wait Eddie chose you over his girlfriend and you still came to visit me today? I'm touched, Buck." Josh grinned at his friend.

"Actually I came to spend time with Adora, you are just extra," Buck informed him from where he was kneeling beside Adora giving her belly rubs.

"Fair." Josh would choose to spend time with Adora over others, his sweet girl was the best. Studying his friend Josh felt his heart break for him, it was no secret - except to Eddie - that Buck was deeply in love with his best friend. Everything had been certain that those two were heading towards a relationship when Ana appeared and suddenly Eddie was head over heels for her. Josh had heard many rants about pod person Edmundo Ana was turning him into from Chimney and Maddie. Josh admired how Buck was able to put his heartbreak aside and still put on a happy smile for Eddie. "Come on let's show Adora off." Today was going to be an Eddie-free day Josh was going to make sure of it.

Buck smiled as he gave Adora one final belly rub, "How about that girl, ready to show off your amazing self."

Adora let out a happy bark.

+*****+

Eddie wasn't miserable or jealous over the fact that Buck had chosen to spend the day with Josh. He was perfectly happy hanging out with Hen and Karen as Denny and Christopher played in the Wilson's backyard.

"If you look any greener I think the trees are going to get jealous." Hen commented as she took a sip of her drink.

Refusing to look his friend in the eyes Eddie studied the label on his bottle. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Right," Hen drawled out, "You are not sulking and drowning your sorrows in a pack of beer over the fact that Buck is out having a guy's day with Josh and not attached to your side." Hen wasn't afraid to call out his bullshit.

Clenching his jaw Eddie refused to admit that he was jealous.

Hen and Karen exchanged a look, they both knew that if Buck kept spending time with Josh then Eddie's jealous and possessive side was only going to get worse and that just might be what finally pushes the boys to act on their feelings.

Hen hoped it was soon, she couldn't take much more of this pining between her two idiotic boys before she asked Athena for a pair of handcuffs.