#an important part of my transition i think
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I’m gonna loosely rant without direction for a minute.
I’ve been thinking a lot about being trans and religious in the last few days. I’m not exactly sure why. It’s just that this one thing keeps coming back to haunt me.
I’ve been happier and closer to God than ever before since I started transitioning. Never once have I felt that God had a problem with me being trans. My soul feels cleaner, happier, more open to the Holy Spirit even with all the other problems and anxieties in my life taken into account because even in my darkest moments now I’m still being my full self.
The thing that’s been bothering me is all these people out there who think I’m doing religion wrong because I’m not being who God made me to be or something when I feel like I’m being more of who God made me to be every day I get further away from the closet. God made my spirit and my mind just as much as he made my body so why is my body supposed to be the only factor in that?
What really bothers me is that people want me to give up what makes me happy, what strengthened my faith even, and go back to being sad and disconnected. And for what? Believing their interpretation of God is more valid than mine? For their comfort that’s for some reason more important than my comfort?
I would really like to work in a church or a religious college. I really would. But jobs with accepting congregations are few and far between. I feel like I have to spend my life moving between safe islands. I need to find my safe pockets and keep other Christians at a distance. And I hate that I have to do that. It weighs so heavily on me sometimes that they don’t believe my faith story.
I used to be the sort of person who would jump up and share my faith story at every opportunity with other Christians because I’m a convert that has stuck with my faith even through hard times. People love that shit. But now that my gender is a part of my story I feel like I either need to keep my mouth shut or lie. And I don’t want to lie so I keep my mouth shut.
I don’t really have a point to this I guess. I just wish I didn’t need to play a balancing act in order to be a queer Christian. Act less religious in queer spaces, act less queer in Christian spaces. There’s such small pockets of life I can fully be both in happily and loudly with no friction from other people.
Because all the friction between my faith and my queerness has always always come from other people. Never from my beliefs, never from my gender, never from my God. Other people. Other people keep trying to insert themselves in between me and God and go hey that’s not right you should feel bad about that. But like. I don’t. I can’t. I won’t and you can’t make me. The thing making me feel bad is that other people want me to feel bad. Other people want me to be miserable for their convenience. I hate that. That’s the worst bit for me about being queer and Christian. Is learning just how little other people value the happiness of strangers.
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Slime HRT - Full Core Integration
<<| ⏯️ |>>
[The scene opens to a not before seen living room. Familiar decor can be seen alongside other furnishings. Elise sits on a couch inside a small plastic tub, where only the upper half of her body can be seen. Next to her is a shorter woman, speckled with red scales across her skin and small claws and horns. The timestamp reads ‘5½ Months.’]
“Oh gosh, how does she do these…
“This is Elise’s entry at five and a half months into transition. I’m Pandora, her wife, and I’ll be speaking for her for this entry and hopefully only this entry. I just started my own species replacement therapy like two weeks ago I think? I kept it hidden from her to surprise her but about three days ago Elise’s vocal cords finally dissolved. That’s why I’m speaking for her.
“Normally she wouldn’t have done an update this early but I encouraged her to make something, mainly because I think it’s important to have this documented. Anyone who goes through the same stuff my wifey has should know how things go when you absolutely need help around the house.
[Pandora retrieves a piece of paper from offscreen.]
“We did make a list of things to go over. My love is going to be demonstrating a few things, and it is her documentation series… thing, so she’s gotta be a part of it! First off is the obvious: no more muscles, and no more bones either!
[Elise outstretches an ‘arm’ to show the lack of muscle and bone. The entire limb is transparent and a vibrant green.]
“All she has left is a few organs and her brain. Everything else is just a little goopy puddle.
[Elise nuzzles into Pandora’s shoulder, and is met with a kiss to the forehead.]
“All the affection is just my wife being all cute and loving, like she’s always been. She’s basically been biologically a slime for a few weeks now, and definitely passes as one from the few I’ve been able to see.
“As a matter of fact, we learned that slimes are apparently part of the country’s No Fly List, since they’re made up entirely of fluid. We had to do a whole cross-country road trip, meaning four days full of driving for me. Loved that. But it just meant that my little goop got to be a little passenger princess all the way back to the west coast!
“Back to the ‘my wife’s organs are starting to dissolve’ matter, she’s actually about two and a half months ahead of schedule. Which meant I had to have a very strongly worded talk with Dr. Acosta from Something Else Solutions.
“Something Else Solutions is not licenced by anyone in Hyper City. We had to hire a private investigator to find that doctor. Turns out, he gave Elise a fake name and the whole office turned out to be some shady black market coven trying to advance their practices. So, my last week and a half has been spent talking to doctors and specialists and actual fucking witches. That last one was actually pleasant, and I would’ve enjoyed it a bit more if it wasn’t my love’s life on the line, possibly.
“The only real reason we’re doing an update now is because Elise is going into surgery tomorrow to get her core formed. Normally, Slime HRT has the patient go through something called C3 surgery: Core Cell Conversion. They’d take all your organs and link them together, and after a few weeks they’ll turn into what’s called a proto-core, which basically just replaces the organs. Eventually that proto-core absorbs the brain after like a month and at that point it’s just a normal slime core.
“Buuuut, now that someone went and fucked up my wife, she’s going into an emergency surgery called FCI: Full Core Integration. What they have to do–and thank the gods that we did this before her organs got dissolved–is take all her organs and her brain and rapidly accelerate that core formation process with donated nuclei from other slimes and a whole bunch of other inpatient hospital stuff. It takes a week, and after that Elise is gonna have a few gaps in her memory.
[Pandora hugs Elise from the side.]
“It’s scary. But we’ve somehow made it through worse.”
[The segment ends. The next segment fades in and shows a still image of a hospital waiting room. An anthropomorphic boar, a human skeleton with glowing green eyes, a well-dressed vampire and two humans are present around the room.]
-captions-
-The waiting room in the Hyper City Interspecies Hospital. Elise’s surgery was 12 hours long.
[A picture of many specialists and surgeons, human and nonhuman, with a blonde human woman in the centre.]
-Thank you to the care team for everything and an even bigger thank you to Dr. Therkin for walking me through every step of the procedure.
[A picture of Elise in a pressurised tank, connected to a series of tubes, wires, and monitors. A very small, almost invisible mass is at the centre of the slime.]
-This was my wife for nine days. Very glad to report that she pulled through.
[The final picture fades out. The next segment fades in where Elise sits in a long tub in a hospital bed, with an intact emerald green core. A timestamp reads ‘Five Days Post Surgery - 6 Months.’]
“...This is…my entry at 6 months during transition. Or at least that is what I’ve been told.
“I’ve been conscious for five days. In that time I learned how to speak and I was reminded who everyone was. Apparently I was in a…terrible condition. My core was able to save my life, and for that I am very grateful.
“I came out of surgery with near total amnesia, they said. Apparently that is a risk when you undergo such a procedure. It isn’t all bad, though. Relearning you have a wife is incredibly nice, makes the core sing something fierce.
“I’ve watched through those progress reports and learned about the journey I’ve taken to get this far, and to think that all that progress is behind me is incredibly inspiring. I’m going to continue living, all because of the work she did. I get to be happy, have a wife, all thanks to her.
“I’m not the same person as she was, definitely not. I have her voice, her life, and eventually the memories will come back, or so I’m told. But I don’t have her face, don’t have the same struggle that she had. So, please allow me to introduce myself once more to you all.
“My name is Mint, and I am a slime girl.”
[The scene fades to black as Mint extends herself towards the camera.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SLIEM TIEM IS BACK EVERYGOOP!!!
Plot Twist: Mint is Authoress :3c
I've been meaning to get this out for a while and Solstice hit me with a lead brick of inspiration! Mint is now here to stay, but by no means is her story over!
Shoutouts today go to @ariathelamia whose character Dr. Therkin made an appearance to advise the surgery team! Tbh I do not trust Erian as far as I can throw him (and for therian standards that is not that far), so we got a second opinion and went to her!
Next time on Slime Ball Z: going to the solstice and definitely having a transgender moment[tm] with doubts about what makes oneself a 'real slime'
#I'm kinda impressed with how fast I pumped this one out :3c#slime#slime girl#slime hrt#therian hrt#otherkin hrt#my gender#my oc#my writing
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Nothing proves how blatantly exorsexist and binary centric trfs are to me than the way they treat the concept of afab transfems as implying trans women are a costume or whatever. Cause it's like, no one said trans women in that sentence.(note: I don't give a shit if a person afab IDs as a trans woman. Do what u want forever I'm not a cop. This is unrelated to that) the fact that they see transfem and Immidiately only think trans woman is so fucking telling. I lowkey id as transfemme (as like a part of tranfemmasc/transandrogenous as an additive of masc and femme rather than absence but I digress) because of having transitioned to masculinity and now transitioning towards a femininity that fits me and I'm looking for ways to understand/describe/conceptualize myself that encompass living as someone assumed by most to have been amab (because of physical traits, aka being treated the same in most experiences as if I were) while also being and presenting feminine. But I'm not a woman. I am no more a woman than any transfem nonbinary person who is not a woman but is still transfem. The idea that using transfeminine as a descriptor Inherently relates to trans women is so binarizing. My gender has nothing to do with womanhood in the plainest sense. I am saying nothing about trans women because trans women are not the be all end all of transfemininity. I see myself and my experiences in the various transfem nonbinary people I meet who are not women rather than trans women. I relate more to transfem nonbinary people than any binary trans experience. The correlation so clearly places transfem people who aren't women in the status of "trans woman but lesser" or just simply less important. It's clear they use transfem rather than trans woman as a facade of political correctness language rather than genuinely considering their nonbinary siblings as equally worth consideration. They probably nominally accept nonbinary trans women and femmes who agree with them just because they think they'll eventually come out as women or because they're on that "no trans woman is binary" bullshit
Correct! They say it's vitally necessary for all trans people AMAB to refer to themselves as transfem instead because they're scared of the word male even when it's part of a phrase that specifically notes it's not what they are and they don't actually care about the people this would ACTUALLY be misgendering to.
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Asked my hairdresser for a mullet and got a fuck ass bob
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Something I notice is the idea with transmasculinity and transmalehood is almost this idea that we had beauty that transition has vanquished, and I honestly never related to this pretransition.
Beauty was never afforded to me as somebody who was obviously neurodivergent and traumatized and weird. I was never seen as beautiful pretransition, and I knew that. Conversations about how desirable we "used to be" never rang true for me personally because I wasn't even given the opportunity to be "beautiful." I was never going to be included in that even if I were not trans, you know? Since transition, I know I'm desirable now, even if it is not in a conventional way. It's interesting how my masculine features are now embraced because people can actually register my maleness, when before, they would never.
Desirability is often used as a tool and a weapon on trans people. The idea of not being "desirable" is a punishment. It's just weird when you're the trans person who was never desired in the first place, and you know it.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#i specify transmasculine and transmaleness because it can be really overt that transphobes often interact with us with the idea that we...#...killed our 'female beauty'. i definitely don't think it's exclusive to us but it's something i take note of because i'm a trans man#it's just funny because i KNOW the transphobes who whinge about my lost beauty would have bullied me for my nose because it's not 'feminine'#or they'd mock my broad shoulers and the fact that i'm asocial and awkward. like it is very transparent#i read a friend who was saying that their beauty was used against them in an abusive way and it's something relatable...#...but it's Complicated at least for me. on one hand - i absolutely get that. on the other - i don't know what it'll be like to be Desirable#or Desirable like that. i find that even though i am desirable after transition people still interact with me in certain ways#part of me appreciates that but part of me is embittered that this is something i just can't ever shake#i think these conversations are interesting and sometimes important which is why i talk about it#i've just been thinking about this since reading what my friend went through (and my heart goes out to them - it was harrowing to read)
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i draw myself a lot
#homestuck#dirk strider#self#platonic selfship#admin draws#fanart#TTAC#an important part of my artist diet. one i should rehash since i am in midst of not quite art block#but definitely 'my screen is very small and my program very unfamiliar to me'#block#hrk anyways. this is im pretty sure my last post in drafts of art i can post#might not be but im not scrolling down to check and im pretty sure it is#ive made it pretty far in my reread today although it kind of transitioned into just a READ#because ive gotten to parts ive never read due to dropping the comic about 92% of the way through#yes i did the math feel free to find the pages yourself#anyways. i pushed far enough along to be staring down collide#and i would really really. like to draw more before i finish it#because fixations have an expiration date to me closely matching me finishing the source material#but also. they dont really? they never really leave. they just flare and then stay rather than go.#i think im past the flare now anyways. but im still here having fun. so maybe i shouldnt worry about it#cough anways!! im treating the tags as a diary again. please enjoy my faces. or dont im not the boss of you#barely the boss of myself duh
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meditatively. the unfortunate part of being a "chuuya is set up to succeed mori as the PM's next leader" truther (-> i can and will justify this if asked, but it's not the point rn) is that the #feminist alternative i've often seen people offer as successor is kouyou — i don't think it's a placement that suits her? i think she's content in her current position, and i think she'd be opposed to being set into serving the organization-above-herself in the way that's integral to mori's philosophy re:leadership.
however. However. i do think the reasons that i believe she wouldn't naturally fall into place as the pm's leader make it so much more interesting to explore in fic as a hypothetical what-of.
like. sit down and think with me about 200k words of a kouyou longfic where there's been an incident with a high kill-count and mori's dead and chuuya's... incapacitated somehow? believed to be dead? actually dead? and kouyou is left as the highest-ranked PM member standing. the weird horrible friction of: it's not a position that suits her and it's not the position she wants, but she's the one whose shoulders it's fallen on, and she's the one grappling and wrestling with the burden/responsibility/power in the aftermath. longfic because i think it is a slow, begrudging acclimation, and that it's half-accidental when she shapes herself into a philosophy influenced-by-but-not-the-same as mori's.
#tbh i think part of the reason i can never vibe with the offered alternative of kouyou to chuuya as successor is bc it *does* make me go#okay are we thinking about kouyou. are we thinking about how she feels right now!!!#btw it is so important to me to say#in this hypothetical au verlaine is the only prev executive left in his original role and therefore he and kouyou should#(1) be weird about it (2) bicker constantly#anyway. stares down at ozaki kouyou on my to-track-down-biographical-info-about list.#bsd ozaki kouyou#bsd#obligatory further note that i think this is potentially unrealistic in that it *is* very much possible to drag a random pm member in#and say hey you'd be a good leader and i Do Not want to do it. u can be on training wheels with me behind you#for a bit but like hiiiiii. you're in charge now.#(like. mafia with a history of weird transitions of power)#but this is my hypothetical that i think about whenever pm boss kouyou comes up So
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Wish I were playing around with genderfluid Sanji rn and not about to clean toilets. Damn 😔
#no but fr its been on my mind for weeks#and this is my way of pushing myself to at least attempt to sketch out a few decent designs#i know I wanna keep sanji's facial hair idk i just think hed wanna keep it even when shes fem presenting#the facial hair especially the braided beard really feels like am important part shed want to keep no matter how she was feeling#plus sanji is in his late 30's to mid 40s when she finally accepts herself for who he is—genderfluid (he/she)#i said it on my other blog but sanji transitioning or coming out much later in life just feels right#anyway heehee hoohoo all this rambling to waste time before preclean lol#not art#talkies
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wwomen . girls . 🥺💖 . starting to think i may be . more than just a faggot . at times
#wwhat if that musical machine was a ggirl and i was in love with her .#wwhat if . what if that industrial machine that plays an important part in paper making factories was . my wife . spiritually#hwat if everyone was a girl forever what if women . whaat if that fictional man i like . was a girl. actually. 😭😭😭😭#ahaahaa twirls my hair around my finger#the universe looks me in the eye and says 'gender and sexuality are both fluid' and tthen makes me go oohg women#i like it when gender is weird and fun and ivve been thinking about weird woman genders sooo much lately .ive been like 'erm. transfems'#and now look at me . surrounded by wives . im glitter popping my keyboard (MUSICAL) im helping her transition 😭💖💖💖#im so faggot . what if my doctor pepper was a fellow transsexual and we were t4t for the brief moments we share on this earth together#spiritually we were both formed by cosmic dust and found eachother in a world where we are both dull metal husks wrapped in colors#attempting to make ourself look appealing and lovable . her for the purpose of appeasing our overlords. me for the sake of appeasing mine#(human desperation. ofcourse.) we both find ourselves on this planet. some part of us knows we were once cosmic dust.#we once were indistinguishable from eachother. everyone was.#but her and me now.. its rare that two gems should meet who formed so similarly.#were both metal canisters who want to spill our contents out. and isnt that beautiful.#um . anyways . peace and love on planet earth. lawl
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every day i ask myself “am i genderqueer or do i simply not percieve gender in relation to myself”
#i have such little physical dysphoria#although i used to have way more#and sometimes i wonder if it’s because i simply dont naturally percieve physical features as associated with a certain identity#because back when i had a ton of dysphoria about my body i was still thinking of gender a concept everyone was a part of#and that i couldnt be exempt from; that i had to choose my place within the set layout instead of carve a place that fits me uniquely#rather than how i view it now#which is as an optional form of self-definition that just doesnt really apply to me#or like someone in the recording studio as a song is being made#not quite outside of it but not really a part of it in an important way#gender is something that exists that isn’t important in my life the way it used to be#and as it gets less important i get less and less dysphoria#still not none and i doubt it ever will be (without physical transition)#but very very little esp compared to when i was first discovering my gender identity#and another thing#and i cant figure out if my dysphoria is due to how i know my body is percieved#or if it’s actual personal feelings about my body that i would have regardless of society & gender expectations#THAT is my daily struggle#who am i and does the answer even matter anyway#gay kid posting gay shit#gender stuff
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So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:
Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.
And then I overthought it for two months.
So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨
Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...
I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.
As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?
Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.
So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.
Which probably made for a jarring transition.
(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)
When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?
(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)
When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.
Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.
After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.
The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??
(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)
But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.
That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.
But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.
#mabel pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#sparkly coin au#my art#my writing#(here's that AU I've been taunting y'all with)
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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shifting is self discovery.
excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.
you do NOT need:
a method
subliminals
(guided) meditation
to look for advice hour after hour online
symptoms
the void state
lucid dreaming
to visualize
to use your 5 senses
a script
you DO need:
yourself
you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!
“how do i shift?”
every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.
“so what do i do?”
sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.
of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!
play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.
remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)
seriously!
you can shift:
tired
awake
asleep
in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)
in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)
while dancing
sitting
standing
laying down
on the floor
accidentally
through a lucid dream
with doubts
and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.
just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.
you are what makes you shift.
it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.
for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.
just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3
it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.
your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.
THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.
#shifting motivation#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#shifting realities#shifting community#shifting antis dni#shifters#shifting diary#shifting blog#shiftinconsciousness#permashifting#xylia's top posts!
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I know people who don’t like alt fashion often think we are annoying or think we think too highly of ourselves/ are attention seeking. I don’t think they understand that more often than positive reactions people are genuinely cruel and sometimes violent about it. “Attention seeking”…The attention I get is getting harassed on the bus for the crime of wearing an outfit some stranger thinks is weird.
honestly. i was actually talking to some friends, several of whom are more visibly and openly queer than i am, at a party last month, and at ond point the topic turned to the struggle of choosing how to present yourself and weighing up the benefits of that against the potential risks of being identified as a queer person and hatecrimed for it - wearing a skirt outside the house when you're still in the early stages of transition, cutting your hair short, etc. and i expressed solidarity with them by pointing out that, although i wasn't trying to compare our experiences because theirs were undeniably more serious, i understood to an extent what they were going through because i've also experienced harassment for the way that i dress and my general outward physical appearance. which led to us discussing that, actually, although being free to express fundamental parts of your identity in a society where those aspects of you are marginalised and oppressed is without question more of a human rights issue than being able to explore alternative fashion styles, they're both rooted in the same foundational attitude - that being that any deviation from the norm is perceived as a threat by some people, who may decided to uphold that status quo with violence because they're confident that the majority will support them and blame the victim for inviting it upon themselves through their "lifestyle choices". there's a reason so many alt fashion styles have their origin in specific subcultures - they're a way of showing belonging, but also a way of openly demonstrating difference, and rejection of certain normative ideals. which is important to understand if you have a genuine interest in alt fashion - you will be perceived as making a provocative statement by some people, whether that's your intention or not. it's good knowledge to have if it's something you want to commit to.
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Everyone is transitioning and everyone is on hormones.
And I don't mean that like you might say "man, everyone on tumblr is trans!" where you really mean "it seems there are a lot of trans people on tumblr".
Literally. Everyone is on hormones. Some people just get them for free from their bodies, and don't need pills or patches or creams or injections.
And everyone is transitioning: you're aging. Your body isn't frozen in time from the moment you finish puberty. It will change, it is changing.
And that's important perspective to keep, I think, because you own your body. It is yours. You get to decide if it transitions into one thing or another. One of those ways may be "natural" and easier, but it doesn't mean it's the only option.
Because it's too common to imagine this as nothing vs something. Like, you do nothing and your body doesn't change, or you do something (HRT) and it changes your body. And I think that framing is very wrong and contributes to reluctance, both internalized ("do I really want to change my body?") and external ("are you really sure you want to do this to your body?").
Because it's happening either way. Your body is changing. It will keep changing. You can adjust where it's going but you can't stop it, and it will happen even if you do nothing.
You're behind the steering wheel and the car is already in motion. You can decide to turn left or right, but whether you do or don't, the car is still going to go somewhere. That's not optional. And if you don't like where it's headed, you can adjust your course. But you're still going.
Transition is just a part of human life. You're going through it no matter what, and one option for transition being the easy one doesn't mean it's the best or only option, and it doesn't mean another option is fundamentally different or worse or strange.
If you're in your 20s, you are transitioning into your 30s. You can do that with one set of hormones or another. But you have to transition: that's just how your body does.
So don't look at it as taking the big step to Do Something vs Do Nothing. You've got options, and one of them has a free coupon. Decide which option you want, because you have to choose.
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SSR Deuce Spade - Liongarb Voice Lines
Liongarb Deuce does not have a vignette.
Since this is a proper battle, I don't gotta hold back. I'm gonna win this, fair and square!
Summon: Just a little while ago, Kingscholar-senpai tossed me this outfit. "You might be up next year," he said... What's that supposed to mean?
Groovification: I don't care about my chances, I'll never give up. You'll see just how much willpower I have!
Home: You tryin' ta face me? Or, whatever.
Home Transition 1: Asim-senpai said he wanted to build a hot springs on the campus grounds. If that really happened, I'd probably want to take a dip there, too.
Home Transition 2: So, Catch-the-Tail is all about letting your fists do the talking, huh. I sure hope I'm not rusty when I actually get to take part in it.
Home Transition 3: Kingscholar-senpai knows how to drive a car!? I've always wanted to know the difference in how it feels from riding a blastcycle. I gotta get him to tell me about it...!
Home Transition - Login: I didn't really know much about the Sunset Savanna, but it sounds like it's got some awesome places. You should show me around sometime.
Home Transition - Groovy: You're giving me these egg-flavored hot spring cookies? Thanks! It looks really good. Here, want to share 'em with me?
Home Tap 1: Is this a picture of the Sunset Savanna? Woah, these are some real neat shots. You gotta show me the rest.
Home Tap 2: So the Sunset Warriors even have to take special classes, huh. They're both scholars and fighters... I can't help but admire 'em.
Home Tap 3: In all of Schoenheit-senpai's photos, despite him focusing hard on the fight, it also looks like he's perfectly posed for the camera. I guess that's an actor for ya. He's always prepared...
Home Tap 4: A rain-calling tradition, huh. When it rains, my tires lose traction, and my mom has trouble with her deliveries... I don't think I've ever wished for it to rain before.
Home Tap 5: Don'tcha think the color and design of these beads are super awesome? I've always liked this kinda stuff, and... Eh? You think they're a bit much?
Home Tap - Groovy: I get so pumped up getting decked out in clothes specifically for a battle. In the past, I'd wear a special outfit that had a tiger embroidered on it whenever I had an important fight coming up.
Duo: [DEUCE]: There's no way I can lose, Asim-senpai! [KALIM]: Deuce, let's go all out!
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#deuce spade#kalim al-asim#twst deuce#twst kalim#twst translation#twst tamashina mina#mention: leona#mention: kalim#mention: vil
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