#an important part of my transition i think

[phoenixfeathersinfall]

I was intrigued by the idea of Dr. NerdLove and his "advice column for bros" approach, so I decided to check it out and folks....This is so good. Context: In my job, I offer one-on-one coaching to adolescents and young adults who have disabilities to help them meet their goals and transition into adult life/build skills for adulthood. Most of my students right now are young college-aged men (some of whom are in school and some of whom work.) One of the big things I do with them is helping to build and maintain social networks: MAKING FRIENDS!!!! Many of my students are lonely! For some of them, the social networks very much include wanting a partner. They ask me for advice about (usually heterosexual) romantic relationships. As a queer woman who's not much older than them (which is to say, not much relationship experience) I often struggle to know how to answer their questions. I just don't know what it looks like from their point of view. So, I thought something like this might be helpful to point them to. I'm not in the demographic the column is reaching to, but I did grow up in several friend groups where I was one of the only girls, and I had friends who got onto the early stages of that Gamergate/alpha male/incel pipeline. I'm an amateur anthropologist by degree, which means I learned a lot of stuff about how cultures and societies work, how to interview people about complex social problems, and how to make things more equitable for communities that need it. I read and see the same news as the rest of you. I work as a camp counselor for middle and high schoolers in the summers. All of which leads me to reaffirm for you: Our boys are not okay. A scary high number of them are getting exposed to online communities that are misinformed at best and predatory at worst, and they lack the experience to know how to counteract that. The election results are going to be like pouring gasoline on a fire.

Enter Dr. NerdLove. Harris O'Malley tells young men things they need to know and start to internalize, and he does it in a way that is relatable to them, compassionate, and humorous. One of my favorite articles is "What Men Really Need," In it, he talks about the social isolation many men face, how they struggle to get support and connection from their male friends in emotionally fulfilling ways, and how that's devastating for everyone. He also tells them how to be a better friend and change the dynamic.

In other articles, he explains the importance of building confidence, self-care, how to overcome feeling awkward, that looks aren't everything. (again, all in terms a boy who's been lurking around on certain Reddits would understand.) He makes a point to explain what some of the risks of dating and relationships are for women (and how history informs that.)

And yes. He's saying the quiet part out loud (linked text is a news source.)

This is going to help me be better equipped to help my students with something really important to them. I think it's also going to be a protective, positive force for a lot of boys who need it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[maximumzombiecreator]

Sorry for my ignorance but why is calling bottom surgery "the surgery" bad?

I'm not sure why I'm getting this question, but I don't mind answering.

For me, "The Surgery" as a term reflects a common cis misunderstanding of transition. In cis representations of transition, even very well-meaning ones, transition is something that happens in a hospital. A man enters the hospital, has The Surgery and emerges a woman, which is a function of genitals. But for most trans people who get bottom surgery, it's one of the last parts of transition. To even get bottom surgery where I live, I must have been living full time as my gender for at least a year.

There's no single trans experience, so I can only speak for mine, but for me transition doesn't happen on an operating table. It happens in quiet, difficult conversations and big, scary social outings. It happens in pill bottles, and appointments, and tiny little changes. It happens in clothing purchases, and makeup tutorials, and relearning what's expected of me, and complex feelings when looking in the mirror. And many trans people will say that that's not their experience at all, which is valid, but I think very few will say that it happened when they got The Surgery.

Like, for my transition at least, The Surgery isn't even the most important surgery.

And this is all pretty obvious. Like, if you try to imagine the trans experience at all, it will swiftly become obvious that your genitals just don't really impact your day-to-day life that much. And the thing is, cis people do understand this on some level. You can tell because of how scared they are of people who have transitioned without The Surgery.

One of the most common ways that trans women show up in media is that a cishet man finds a woman attractive, pursues her sexually, and then is shocked to find out she has a penis. And like, obviously that woman has transitioned. She is living as a woman, she's being perceived as a woman, she's even passing for cis. But she hasn't had The Surgery and thus she's not a real woman for the only thing that matters: being sexually available to cishet men in a way that doesn't require them to challenge their understanding of either themselves or of gender more generally.

So, that's why I cringe at the term "The Surgery." It reflects an understanding of transition that focuses on something that matters very little to me, but matters enormously to cishet men perceiving me, that reduces me to my genitals and my sexual availability, and that actively avoids empathizing with me and my experience.

Obviously, other peoples' experiences will vary, and other trans people may have far more bottom dysphoria, and a thousand other caveats. But any time I hear the term used unironically, it tells me that the person is focusing on transness primarily as a function of genitals, rather than what's really important: the ability to double jump.

[bloutwo]

Asked my hairdresser for a mullet and got a fuck ass bob

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I notice is the idea with transmasculinity and transmalehood is almost this idea that we had beauty that transition has vanquished, and I honestly never related to this pretransition.

Beauty was never afforded to me as somebody who was obviously neurodivergent and traumatized and weird. I was never seen as beautiful pretransition, and I knew that. Conversations about how desirable we "used to be" never rang true for me personally because I wasn't even given the opportunity to be "beautiful." I was never going to be included in that even if I were not trans, you know? Since transition, I know I'm desirable now, even if it is not in a conventional way. It's interesting how my masculine features are now embraced because people can actually register my maleness, when before, they would never.

Desirability is often used as a tool and a weapon on trans people. The idea of not being "desirable" is a punishment. It's just weird when you're the trans person who was never desired in the first place, and you know it.

[slavhew]

i draw myself a lot

[lostconductor]

really longwinded fuckass trans oc essay

despite being trans myself i don't really think any of my trans characters actually satisfyingly explore the trans experience to me, which is fine because a trans character can just Exist, but also i do wish i had more characters who's lives and identities are affected by being trans. because my experience so far is that being transgender has affected me in a way where i feel proud to wear the label on my lapel because i've come this far. but i find that in most of my trans ocs' stories, being transgender is either a: destigmatized and/or b: not a problem (hormones and medical transition readily available, taken care of). there's that line between "do i really want to write transphobia into a world where everyone can just be happy?" and "i want a character that's had one of the genuine modern trans experiences" (i say one of and not "the" because there is no The Trans Experience).

then theres project moon world. where gender is and isn't important because gendered bodies and traits do exist, it's literally just the names that are subverted. but (at least as far as i personally know, i dont know anything beyond lobcorp, half of ruina, and everything up to like the lab half of yi sang's canto) we don't actually see or hear any discussion of gender or gender issues, or anything implying that a gender inequality or trans people even exist. which is fine i guess. not the main focus when people are turning into giant monsters and killing each other with giant swords. but it makes it hard to picture any sort of modern experience and relationship with gender in that world that'd match up with anything we relate to. body modification is a commodity and normalized there. you can get surgery to transfer your body into a robot body as long as your brain is intact. you can replace your head now. top and bottom surgery is ancient news, that's just normal. you can replace your head with a triangle now. do people still come out of the closet? does gender even come into play with sexuality anymore? does anyone give a fuck when people are turning into monsters and shit? it sounds like a nice world, where you don't have to constantly be on defense because someone might kill you for being a little too queer, but it also makes it really hard to visualize anything you can relate to without it seeming a little old-fashioned or silly for it to even exist

in my salem world buggy / skuggy being trans was me slapping it on them because i was trans and i wanted to connect with my ocs. i honestly havent revisited them in a while so i forgot a lot but i tried to work it into their stories but mostly ended up thinking longer on it for skuggy as kind of just him crawling out of a bad home situation and him being able to transition finally being his foot down on earth away from that old life. like shedding a shell into a new one. yeah things still suck and i'm heading for a town that's going to kill me, but i finally am on t and i can start saving up for top surgery. but after that point in his life it fades to the background and it's just normal. i think my salem folks are the closest ill get to being able to explore a genuine transgender experience

farrow is weird because the entirety of his life he's been kind of accustomed to playing this certain role and sticking with it, and losing himself in the tough guy facade of uncaring manipulative loner that he just becomes it and doesn't see another way until he's literally killed for being a prick and reduced to a speck that can't hold that facade anymore after being put into his place. as a child he was androgynous and didn't care about it but was still a boy. but the moment he's forced to stop revolving his life around the sole purpose of survival (in fact probably now the opposite) and has to be forced to face what actually lies beneath that facade he's implanted into himself , that nonbinary elephant in the room suddenly gets very very big and loud and he's forced to stare it straight down. i explored his very disorienting confused tiptoes into gender expression and identity mostly in private because i got shy being anything less than funniejokes about my ocs, but it was really just "i think i might be nonbinary but i have a job so i cant think abt that rn" "oh shit im unemployed im fighting these fucking demons" "why did being called this term awaken something in me" "oh god help me". i think i explored and pushed it the absolute most in band au where it's the most similar to modern day reality and just got to make him a little thing. but it's kind of the same thing where while i did get to explore his gender presentation and his thoughts on it and how other people close to him reacted to it or affirm it it i don't ttthink it has a lot of bearing on his character. which is fine i guess. i dont know how i feel about characters who's entire basis is being trans. but i guess that is literally just how it is irl being a stigmatized group you are just Defined by it bc it affects Everything In Your Gd Life. idk where im going with this

idk the thing that prompted this is just thinking about my lobcorp ocs because it is so. HARD. to relate to any of their trans experiences or write anything resembling a modern trans experience with them. they live in a hyperdeveloped future, why Wouldn't they have access to hrt and gender affirming surgeries. why Would it have any bearing on them what gender they are, they have to go die in a Nest or smtng tomorrow. i think a lot about eva and griffin and even like myukeu or roger/mags. i'm trying to go back and think about how it might've been for eva growing up but the most i can think is that he probably just stayed in the closet until he built up the courage and his parents were just "oh okay cool i guess. maybe you wont be limited by the glass ceiling now. finish your damn homework" like just such a anticlimatic end. (but even that response implies any sort of gender imbalance or acknowledgement of gender in this world and honestly, with all the women taking leadership and even mastermind roles in this world there is no way that's anything close to canon. also i dont want to write in fuckin misogyny. but thats the thing in a modern au His Parents Would Fucking THink Like That his identity gender and all takes a backseat to his Purpose. but its hard to write that when Everyone Is Just Like That with gender). like yeah i can write this character juggling work and arranging pharmacy prescriptions and fitting in a daily t shot into his routine and having to recover after top surgery but once he's socially transitioned even if he doesn't pass it doesn't have a bearing or effect on him because It Doesn't Matter Here You're An Employee All The Same. his identity is an afterthought in the corporation. the only time it comes up is when he befriends other trans people and has that "oh hey" feeling of solidarity or when years down the line he's getting freaky with julian and has to explain no an abnormality did not scar me those are surgery scars. im trans. and then it's fine

idk this is a very looseform ramble because in the end i don't know what my actual thoughts are. i guess i yearn for just a mundane trans experience. which is why i'm so drawn to band au / modern aus of any kind because it lets me write these people being Very Mundane Normal People. sure writing them in doomed time loops and turning into giant monsters and harnessing powers beyond comprehension is fun but also i really like writing mundane shit even if its boring to read. why do you think i spamdraw post-lobcorp so much. theyre normal. anyways time to brainrot more over band au than the actual canon

also if there have been any mentions/discussions of gender in projmoon games i would 100% be down to read an analysis or whatever. this isnt a projmoon haterpost believe it or not it's just me thrashing within the nonexistent box i've put myself in.

i like mundane modern trans characters. i like trans characters that look like people i would meet irl and just Exist the way we do irl. i dont care if there is no transphobia in the world i just need to see them being mildly inconvenienced by having to do advanced aerobics to take off their binder or experience gender euphoria after wearing a tank top and jeans. i wanna see them having a sleepover and getting their nails painted for the first time and just going "oh my god i can actually be pretty thats just something i can do". idk. i think i just want to write more trans joy into my stories it's just hard when there's a more prevalent ongoing plot going on (hell timeloop and melting away of identity)

[jacksprostate]

Once more awash with love for everyone around me... I think it's one of the most beautiful intrinsic traits of people, to love one another <3

[sunnixsunshine]

Wish I were playing around with genderfluid Sanji rn and not about to clean toilets. Damn 😔

[blooscreen]

wwomen . girls . 🥺💖 . starting to think i may be . more than just a faggot . at times

[piracyandpumpturns]

every day i ask myself “am i genderqueer or do i simply not percieve gender in relation to myself”

[drchucktingle]

i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

[siyzuii]

shifting is self discovery.

excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.

you do NOT need:

a method

subliminals

(guided) meditation

to look for advice hour after hour online

symptoms

the void state

lucid dreaming

to visualize

to use your 5 senses

a script

you DO need:

yourself

you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!

“how do i shift?”

every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.

“so what do i do?”

sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.

of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!

play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.

remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)

seriously!

you can shift:

tired

awake

asleep

in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)

in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)

while dancing

sitting

standing

laying down

on the floor

accidentally

through a lucid dream

with doubts

and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.

just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.

you are what makes you shift.

it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.

for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.

just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3

it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.

your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.

THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[foone]

Everyone is transitioning and everyone is on hormones.

And I don't mean that like you might say "man, everyone on tumblr is trans!" where you really mean "it seems there are a lot of trans people on tumblr".

Literally. Everyone is on hormones. Some people just get them for free from their bodies, and don't need pills or patches or creams or injections.

And everyone is transitioning: you're aging. Your body isn't frozen in time from the moment you finish puberty. It will change, it is changing.

And that's important perspective to keep, I think, because you own your body. It is yours. You get to decide if it transitions into one thing or another. One of those ways may be "natural" and easier, but it doesn't mean it's the only option.

Because it's too common to imagine this as nothing vs something. Like, you do nothing and your body doesn't change, or you do something (HRT) and it changes your body. And I think that framing is very wrong and contributes to reluctance, both internalized ("do I really want to change my body?") and external ("are you really sure you want to do this to your body?").

Because it's happening either way. Your body is changing. It will keep changing. You can adjust where it's going but you can't stop it, and it will happen even if you do nothing.

You're behind the steering wheel and the car is already in motion. You can decide to turn left or right, but whether you do or don't, the car is still going to go somewhere. That's not optional. And if you don't like where it's headed, you can adjust your course. But you're still going.

Transition is just a part of human life. You're going through it no matter what, and one option for transition being the easy one doesn't mean it's the best or only option, and it doesn't mean another option is fundamentally different or worse or strange.

If you're in your 20s, you are transitioning into your 30s. You can do that with one set of hormones or another. But you have to transition: that's just how your body does.

So don't look at it as taking the big step to Do Something vs Do Nothing. You've got options, and one of them has a free coupon. Decide which option you want, because you have to choose.

[libraford]

I have a lot to say about the decision our BOE made about Lifewise, but I'm going to go over the useful information here first and then the shitshow in a later reblog.

Last night, the board of education in my city decided to rescind allowance of Lifewise in our public schools.

Lifewise is a non denominational Christian youth group that operates during school hours, and only during school hours. Their mission is to bring Jesus to public schools, and they are able to do this legally because the education happens off-campus. They typically do this during lunch, recess, or electives. The program is voluntary.

They were allowed in our school system through a former board member, two years ago. The program has come under some scrutiny, which I will cover in a reblog. So the topic of rescinding their decision came up this year.

This was a huge debate. I will get into it later.

But I wanted to state the reasons why our board chose to rescind the decision and end business with LifeWise, so that if they (or others of this type) come to your school system and you don't want them there, you have a model for what has worked in debate.

1. An important aspect of the decision to rescind this particular decision does not restrict religious learning before or after school, or on weekends- and only applies to religious programs during school hours.

2. Unlike accommodations made for Ramadan (an example that was brought up in debate), LifeWise is not a core observance of religion.

3. The social times of school, such as lunch or recess, are just as much part of the learning process as structured class time. Play is imperative for a growing mind, and playing with kids from other religious backgrounds is especially important.

4. While Lifewise supplies their own buses to and from locations, transition times in schools (getting children to and from lunch, recess, bathrooms, electives) are some of the most stressful times for teachers. Adding another, for which only some of the students are part of, is a strain on resources.

5. Entrusting your students to a third party who has not been vetted by the schools is an intense liability. Not just the obvious danger of a dangerous person, but- are the trained in first aid? What do they know about seizures, autism, allergies, diabetes...what are their policies on conflict resolution... there are a lot of variables to think of when you leave your students in someone else's care, even for just an hour.

That's all the notes I have for that meeting. If one of these programs is courting your school board, it's probably a good idea to have these points in mind now, rather than later.

I'll talk about the rest later.

[alexiethymia]

That is to say, “she can’t live without me”, is just another way to say “she’s not allowed to live without me.”

In relation to that earlier (crack)post, it dawns on me that for all that they call him ‘Aizen-taichou’, neither of Aizen’s vice-captains really choose him.

Sure, Aizen has only disdain for bonds, but I’m also of the interpretation that he tried to replicate at least a facsimile of them through twisted ways - loyalty, dependence etc. - but it always boiled down to no one would ever be able to understand him because no one was at his level, so he discards them.

What makes a prodigy? Age? If so, Nanao would be considered one. Intellect? But no one really alludes to either Hirako or Urahara as a prodigy. Maybe potential, and if so it would make sense that Gin and Hitsugaya are referred to as prodigies. And it would make sense to show that Aizen was at around the same age (at least physically) as Gin when he started to question everything. Despite being prodigies, Gin and Hitsugaya had what Aizen didn’t - people who understood them and made sure they didn’t feel too “other”. From his perspective, I could easily imagine Aizen perceiving his fellow prodigies as being held back by those bonds, at not even attempting to nurture their potential to be ‘god-like’. I am also of the theory that Aizen did want to bring Hitsugaya into the fold, or that he had a sense of his potential so if he wasn’t going to be under his control like Gin, then he had to be cut down.

But going back, when I say that neither of Aizen’s vice-captains choose him, this is prefaced with the context that both Gin and Hinamori were people he cultivated for years, maybe even centuries. Aizen showed Gin his true face (or as true as it could be knowing that Gin meant to kill him) while showing Hinamori the ideal captain, the image of the best captain even. But unlike Gin’s vice-captain who fights Hinamori to defend him (no matter how sick and self-loathing it made him feel deep inside), Hinamori despite being ordered by Aizen himself couldn’t manage to avenge him (she didn’t even try to her fullest capabilities). This was not in Aizen’s plans, and he even says it himself. Aizen was one of the most revered Captains, and he intentionally manipulated Momo to become dependently loyal on him, to the point that, he alleges, ‘she couldn’t live without him’. But if both were a test of loyalty, Kira passed his while Hinamori didn’t. And Gin rewards this (in a twisted sort of way) by involving Kira just enough that he could make sure that he and Rangiku were outside the blast point.

I could easily believe that Aizen intentionally did make Momo fall in love with him (his use of the words, ‘as a man’ in his letter for example), but unlike Hitsugaya who was ready to commit murder and treason just to keep Hinamori away from threats, she couldn’t fully severe that connection with Hitsugaya to avenge him. For all that Aizen seems to be above Hitsugaya and Gin, and they both lose to him, they will always have something he will never have. Even later, Momo despite the centuries of hypnosis chooses to stand on the battlefield against him.

In other words, in that confrontation, as a vice-captain, Hinamori couldn’t do for him what Kira did for Gin, and as someone who ‘loved’ or ‘admired’ him, she couldn’t do for him what Hitsugaya was willing to do for her, and this is after years and years of intentional emotional manipulation. For all of his ambitions, he failed to be the most important person for someone he intended to mold for that exact same purpose. And this is why in the realm of canon and headcanon, I do believe that as much as Hitsugaya hates Aizen, Aizen also hates Hitsugaya, just as much, insofar as someone like Aizen is capable of hatred. This is where you can see Aizen’s surface level understanding of bonds, as well as his being an unreliable narrator. His plan was for Kira and Hitsugaya to kill her, both people shown to love her, and when they couldn’t do it, for him as the person she ‘loves’ to deal the final blow. Did he really think that either Kira or Hitsugaya could actually go through with it? Maybe because he assumed that Momo actually would (because he knows the lengths Hitsugaya would go through and suspects the same of Gin, so as someone she ‘loves’ he might have had that same expectation of her).

He made sure she knew who was the one to hurt her, and he did it in the cruelest way possible. When I think about his overall plan, the interaction in Central 46 never had to happen. He already had his distraction. He didn’t have to deal death blows to both Hinamori and Hitsugaya, especially since no one at the execution knew what was going on at Central 46. In fact, it was because of that interlude that Unohana was able to warn the rest of the Gotei. But that wasn’t just an interlude. It really was part of his plan to kill Hinamori because ‘she couldn’t live without him’. Or maybe he convinced himself of that fact.

Even with Gin. For all that he says it was all part of his plan, and that he only kept Gin around because he knew Gin was going to kill him, I find it difficult to believe that he told Gin Kyouka Suigetsu’s weakness with that in mind. This is where his being an unreliable narrator comes in. When all is said and done, he can just claim it was all part of his plan. But I noticed he let his guard down when Gin claims to have killed Rangiku, and that he acknowledges that he could have been wrong about Gin having feelings for Rangiku. It seems to me that having another prodigy who was against Soul Society was something that he maybe wanted? And that he was just waiting for Gin to fully cut off those ties (to Rangiku) and prove his loyalty, in a manner of speaking.

So showing both his true face and his ideal face didn’t secure him the loyalty that he [wanted]. All the pieces fell into place, but it was actually his vice-captains who acted against his expectations. He claims it was Hirako’s rejection or suspicion that allowed him to hollowfy the Vizards, but even when he actually and actively exerted his influence over them, still neither of his vice-captains choose him. Even Urahara, who he considers an intellectual equal, still does nothing about the Soul King despite knowing the truth, because Urahara also has existing bonds he wishes to take care of. No matter how many people he hurt and defeated, and no matter that he considers it all a part of his plan, no matter that he doesn’t consider bonds important in the first place, ultimately Aizen was rejected on every front.