#an experience that is core to my being

[deliriousaffections]

the gta & tony hawk's pro skater games have done so much for my music taste it's insane

[wintvies]

man i'm so ready for frazzled girl fall and weird girl winter

[sandflakedraws]

so i'm readin various stuff on the xray cause this silly film is my current source of joy and

wait

hold up.

what...

WAHT ??? WHAT

XRAY CAST DESCRIPTION????

YEARS???

xrAY dESCRIPTION eXPLaIN!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLOYD WAS HELD CAPTIVE FOR YEARS, WHAT SECRET INFO DO U HAVE ACCESS TO???

[puppetmaster13u]

DP X DC X Subnautica

Where the Justice League (mostly focusing on the Superfam or Batfam or Flashfam) are large leviathan-esque creatures living on Planet 4546B. Maybe they can change forms due to Precursor experimentation, maybe not. Those with young hang out around the shallows more than the others, what with most of them being large super or specialized predators.

Enter Danny Fenton, interning on the Aurora when the ship is shot down by the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. Oh sure he probably would have tried to stop the destruction and help, but his ghost powers are a bit on the fritz and a well-meaning worker pushes him into one of the last life pods seeing as he's a child.

Now the leviathans may not know what a ship is exactly, but they can definitely understand that in most cases things technology = precursors. As far as they understand, a metal deathtrap not unlike the old labs or caches fell alongside several metallic eggs, with the emerging hatchlings misshapen and not living long.

But then there's the egg that landed in the shallows, which at first they thought was empty. But a hatchling- much smaller than the previous ones- emerges, a day later than the rest, but they're alive even if their swimming is all wobbly! It's so tiny, and obviously hatched too early with the strange split tail and how it keeps swimming to the surface for air, and they have to protect it! Now if only the little hatchling would answer their calls and not dart into hiding spots whenever they approach...

Honestly this is up to the writer lol, but I like to think that Danny's ghost form, when he finally manages to achieve it again, goes a little naga-esque. Almost like a sea snake instead of just a whispy ghost tail, which while better for swimming doesn't help his freak out over most ghost powers still not working.

Danny is just trying to survive man, maybe find other survivors, turn off this big alien gun, stop creating frost crystals when he sneezes, the usual. He doesn't need giant humanoid-esque leviathan-sized sea creatures poking around!

[angelunderheaven]

I hate when boys don't get it

[autisticaradiamegido]

thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

[athousandbyeol]

oh, my God. this episode is so intense. i think i'm still in a daze. but i'm trying my best to make sense of everything i understood from today's episode.

opening the episode with bernoulli's principle—all about two objects [people, in this context] coming together, colliding, because of the wind [in this context, attraction, love]—is such an amazing way of setting the tone of the episode. everything feels so bittersweet, hopeless and hopeful from the get-go.

sheng wang's sense of loneliness, jiang tian's nature of reluctance, all those things mingling together in this emotionally charged connection they've built, was so poignantly portrayed in this episode. somewhat, they're in a turbulent state—whether to stop the wind from blowing at them, so that they would no longer be close.

the scene where sheng wang was asking jiang tian to carry him, honestly, that is so painful. because i think, all sheng wang wanted at that moment was a connection—he wanted to hug jiang tian. he wanted to be close. he just wanted so much of jiang tian that he thought, maybe, if he asked jiang tian something silly, the latter would agree. he did. he would know, right? i guess that feeling of relief and happiness and love and acceptance dawned on him. and it was so overwhelming.

but what hurts me more is how jiang tian could only watch sheng wang's grip around his wrist. there was hesitance in his eyes. there was want. there was desire. but he couldn't. he didn't want to be close.

so sheng wang crossed the line again. the only way he could ever be this close to jiang tian was to make the first move.

and later, we finally knew that jiang tian has always been pushing people away. he didn't want that connection. he was afraid of hurting them—hurting himself.

and throughout the rest of the episode, uncle ding's "don't let jiang tian push you away," became a recurring motif. we saw sheng wang and jiang tian becoming close. we saw jiang tian openly showing that he cared (the express card was sheng wang's; jiang tian bought it for him). jiang tian standing up for sheng wang; believing in him.

and it all crumbled the moment jiang tian said, "i would stay [at school] later."

because it isn't because jiang tian didn't care about sheng wang. he cared. he cared so much. but jiang tian is afraid too. he's afraid of this connection. he's afraid of being close. because what will happen if they are closer? what will change between them? what will happen to them? isn't what they have right now are already good enough?

all of sheng wang's attempts at making jiang tian stay are in vain. "i couldn't make you stay."

when he said, "the more one tries, the more pathetic they look," somehow insinuates that sheng wang felt that he was pathetic for being the one who showed more effort—the one who wanted to be with jiang tian—the one who wanted to be close.

and sheng wang finally stated the real reason why he loathes bernoulli's principle, "it sounds like 'effort in vain'. and i hate that."

because he felt that everything he did—everything he shared with jiang tian—was only in vain.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?

[drh3nryj3kyll]

What if it'll never be enough for Vox? He has his closest friends, the Vees; he has fame; power; money; and everything he could want. But . . . Would the Vees have been his friends if it weren't for them being business associates? Would Hell still adore him if he hadn't used his hypnosis? Would anyone still love him? Would anyone still need him? Would anyone still want him? What if all of Vox's past relationships were filled with heartbreak and abandonment? What if nothing fills the void? What if he'll forever remain unsatisfied? What if nothing will be enough? What if he won't be enough? What if one day he'll be an old, useless product that no one wants or needs and that's why he constantly needs to change and upgrade? What if he thought Alastor could've fixed all that pain? Maybe he could have, but what if Vox had gone at it the wrong way? Because romance is always treated like something above all other feelings, what if he thought he could finally be loved and never abandoned by Alastor? What if he confessed and Alastor was scared and hurt by the fact? What if Alastor did love him but didn't want or have experience with romance? What if Vox took that as he'd be incapable of being loved?

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[brofightiscancelled]

my reality hc for why totty's eyes look bigger than everyone's else is that he tapes his eyelids which makes his eyes look bigger

[valewritessss]

Growing up as an only child people would always like talking to me and say I’m nice and generous then when they found out that I’m an only child they’d tell me “oh so you’re spoiled and don’t know how to share?”. And it was always so frustrating because why would I be spoiled? Yes both of my parents attention was only on me but they raised me right? And I’ve met people that are spoiled and not brats, like spoiled brat and spoiled are two different things.

And I love sharing and always have bc I never had anyone to share with so I like letting other people use my stuff. One of my friends that I did so many things for all of middle school (I gave her homework answers, pencils, erasers, bandaids, some of my lunch, gum, etc) told me that I don’t know how to share because I’m an only child. We’re not friends anymore because at one point she started rushing me to do my work so she could copy and she would not let me concentrate and she wouldn’t copy my shit while I was doing it and then she’d get mad at me because she was failing. But anyway, I was a little mad because you KNOW me, but you’re just gonna say that because why, exactly? It was like people were always telling me what I should be like and telling me that I don’t understand any childhood experiences.

And then I get told I must not know how to compromise just because I’m an only child? Like what? I will do anything to please you so what the hell are you talking about.

And people go on rants saying that parents need to start having more than two children because they hate only children. I’ve seen this so many times and it makes me a little sad because my parents tried, okay? Generalizing is not cool. They’ll hate only children just because they had a bad experience with someone that happened to be an only child. And then I’ll make friends with someone and when they find out I’m an only child they’ll tell me they never would’ve guessed because they hate only children. Thanks, I guess?

“You must not have a very good family bond” uhh why? My cousins are the closest thing I ever had as siblings growing up and I genuinely don’t understand when they would say this because it doesn’t mean I can’t bond with people my age.

“You probably get everything you want” i was told this just because I bought a new notebook when my old one ran out of pages. Again, what is the thought process here because it’s not like I can ask for anything and get it just because I’m the only kid my parents have.

I would say I’m lonely and want a sister and people would get straight up mad at me. ��No you don’t you’re lucky” and you think there aren’t things I want that you have too? I literally feel so alone 24/7 but I guess I’m not allowed to feel that because at least I get privacy.

They also always assume I’m rich. I am very much not rich and I did have friends that lived in bigger houses and it made me so insecure about mine. Idk what it is about assuming only children are rich. I wish being an only child came with that bc then I’d never complain again. But unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.

Anyways. This was a random rant. I just remembered that I would get so frustrated because I would literally cry from the fact that I didn’t have a best friend or someone like a sibling to talk to, and then I’d be told my feelings weren’t valid. I know this is such a non issue, but just sharing I guess.

[wintvies]

okay guys school starts on the second. i need to LOCK IN.

[mx-potato]

sometimes i think i’ll be doing fine and then someone will say something that’s just a little too mean and all of a sudden i’m in 7th grade again, struggling to distinguish which comments are out of genuine kindness and which are being intentionally condescending

[eyewyrm]

noel and identity loss...

trying to articulate why it feels wrong to call him charlie, because thats still him but at the same time not.

he's changed and things cant go back to the way they were, noel took up a new name one to remember but also to move on

i don't think noel is a fake name to him more so just a new identity he's taken up as an extension of himself. or at least someone he's rebuilt himself as after the dreamlands. i don't think he's discarded charlie as an identity but that he just has two names that are both very real to him, however just one of them is more in the forefront than the other so he'd be unused to his old name being used.

but i also think that he'd feel extremely disconnected to his old life and name that it would be uncomfortable and feel wrong for him, might feel that his past is catching up to him or maybe he'd be afraid that if he stops using noels name he'd be abandoning him in some way

or just using the name as an escape from the king in yellow who likely would've called him by his original name

i recognise this is like probably nothing at all but it is rotating in my brain and i need to get it out, i love saying shit and being completely incoherent

[realbeefman]

some of y’all clearly don't understand what it's like to avert your eyes when your friend starts changing in front of you and your heart starts pounding in your chest and you could say something, SHOULD say something, tell her to change her clothes in a different room and admit to this freakish attraction that you know she doesn't feel, ruin the friendship by coloring every moment of casual intimacy with the knowledge that you are a pervert who wants more, that you are a threat. you don’t say anything. and you look up and watch the pale expanse of her lower back from the corner of your eye as she pulls on a white blouse, and something lurches in your stomach and you laugh at the joke she just told even though you weren’t really listening to the set-up. later on you will feel sick and guilty and cry alone in a bed that feels empty, but for just a moment, you are laughing with a beautiful girl who loves you, and it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong