#america BITCH

[scringleydingleydoo]

i'm just saying if I was apart of the Harry Potter verse, shit would be different. I would ask the important questions.

"if the guys so dangerous why hasn't anyone tried shooting him yet?"

"hey, dont shit on the USA, people who lost the war aren't allowed to speak. I'm allowed to shit on it cause i'm from the United States bitch."

"I'm just saying, ive never seen someone get up after being shot in the head."

"Y'all ever wonder how big his wand is? Like i know hes evil and wants to kill us all, but do you think hes evil, wants to kill us all, and a virgin?"

"Cedric Diggory? More like Cedric-get-that-dick-in-ME-"

"Wait, our professor is a fucking WEREWOLF?! LIKE FROM TWILIGHT?!"

"No Ron, muggle pictures dont fucking move.....Wait if wizard pictures move does that mean-FRED GEORGE, PLEASE TELL ME THAT WIZARDS HAVE THEIR OWN VERSION OF PLAYBOY-"

"In my defense, the little bitch was being a racist prick and where i come from we beat up people who talk shit."

"Lockhart? more like LockSHART am i right?"

"That Luna girl is so weird and off putting, do we know if she's single?"

"For the last time Ron, no, Americans don't use bald eagles, we use owls same as you guys."

"That's Virginmort? Where's his nose?"

"So, do you think his nose was all he lost when he got revived or do you think that he lost....other things as well."

"I wonder if Voldemort ever gets diarrhea? Don't look at me like that, it's a serious question!"

"Hey, Ginny, is your friend Luna single? I wanna ask her to the Yule Ball thing!"

"Luna you are the weirdest girl I have ever met, it's amazing, will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Dude Hermione looks good as hell, whoa. Ron's a fucking idiot."

"Luna, I wanted to ask if- ("Yes, I would like to date you Juni.") well alright then, glad we got that out of the way."

"Wait, so you guys were just gonna skip a year of school and go off on some grand ass adventure across the country and you DIDNT INVITE ME?!"

(The poly juice potion scene in the 7th book.) "Ewww, this guy has wadded up tissues in his pockets, what the hell!"

"Holybshit this is just like that movie flushed away, I cant believe i'm about to flush myself down a toilet-"

"Y'all have issues, not saying I don't, but i'm better than y'all."

"I had my parents send me a glock. Just in case."

"EVER HEARD THE PHRASE 'NEVER BRING A WAND TO A GUN FIGHT' BITCHS?! EAT MY FUCKING AMERICAN MADE LEAD-"

(7th book when The Golden Trio goes back to Hogwarts): "Omg Luna! You look even more off putting than you did the last time I saw you! Its amazing!"

"Yknow, if we had shot this Virginmort guy like I suggested, Harry wouldn't be dead right n-HOLY SHIT HE'S ALIVE?!"

"YEAH MRS.WEASLY YOU TELL THAT BITCH WHO BOSS!"

(after the battle): "Damn how y'all gonna get the funding to fix this shit?"

anyways tell me if y'all want more of this tomfoolery

[jjjordiiii]

Woke ppl are crazy. There's only 4 genders. Ford, Chevy, Dodge, and GMC

Can I get a hell yeah?

[the-orange-shit-stain-scam]

If this does not sound familiar, you may be in a cult.

[bahkonearth]

happy 4th of july

[hurtspideyparker]

Steve: Do you ever wanna talk about your emotions Bucky?

Bucky: No

Tony: I do

Steve: I know Tony

Tony: I'm sad

Steve: I know Tony

[hellonerf]

itager for an art trade and jealous ita just for fun and otouto pair

[nicollekidman]

realizing that people who equate cynicism with intellectual rigor are often just being lazy and pathetic has been so helpful tbh

[your-very-rude-neighborhood-ace]

honestly steve deserved to be a little meaner in civil war

“steve you have to sign the accords”

“oh right i totally should sign my rights away to a government who i exposed to have been infiltrated by nazis for DECADES. i’m sure nothing bad will happen if i do that”

“i should let the government dictate my life when all i’ve ever done is save the world by going AGAINST the government. sounds like a great plan”

like t0ny stans love to say he was being horribly selfish and mean in civil war, which he… wasn’t, but i think he should have been

[arthurianlegend144]

Another redraw for my man's birthday yayyyy ft. Mochi America

(Reference)

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

I’ve seen a lot of posts about the Waynes being the dc equivalent of the Kardashians, and while I can see that, I think it’s very important to remember the reason we all know so much about the kardashians is because they have a reality tv show about them that’s been running for, like, ten years, or something.

I feel like with the lack of a reality show, most of America and maybe beyond would know Brucie Wayne and that he has a lot of kids. Maybe some people would call them the Gotham Version of the Kardashians, but maybe most people wouldn’t know a lot about the kids (names, faces, how many of them there are, etc.) because other than maybe Dick and Tim, I don’t see any of them doing something that anyone outside of Gotham would care to report on (they don’t leave Gotham publicly often and people outside Gotham don’t want to think about what goes on in that hellhole).

Inside of Gotham, however, is an entirely different story. Inside Gotham, everyone can name the Waynes and point them out on sight, even Steph gets recognized sometimes, though less than the officially adopted kids. Inside Gotham, there’s an article for literally everything they do, even if some of them try so incredibly hard to be private people (and they kinda succeed, but Gotham thinks they don’t). Every paper in Gotham has some mention of them, even if it’s just a name drop, because they are just so involved in the city and there are just so many of them. Most people have seen a Wayne in person, if not personally interacted with them. Unlike other cities with their rich people, Gotham loves them. They defend their rich people and they Gatekeep the hell out of them.

Thank you for coming to my dc talk

[l0serdust]

courtney love & 7 year bitch

[the-orange-shit-stain-scam]

This is so true and it really makes me question how our country devolved into this state of insanity.

[musical-chick-13]

This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:

Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.

[hellonerf]

a snuff film, my slug record

[sunnysssol]

"Would you lose?"

( comms open )

[ironshieldchild]

as an og stony shipper i'm really glad to see this fandom is still alive