#they’re like the Kardashians but because they don’t have a reality show people don’t have as much information about them

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

I’ve seen a lot of posts about the Waynes being the dc equivalent of the Kardashians, and while I can see that, I think it’s very important to remember the reason we all know so much about the kardashians is because they have a reality tv show about them that’s been running for, like, ten years, or something.

I feel like with the lack of a reality show, most of America and maybe beyond would know Brucie Wayne and that he has a lot of kids. Maybe some people would call them the Gotham Version of the Kardashians, but maybe most people wouldn’t know a lot about the kids (names, faces, how many of them there are, etc.) because other than maybe Dick and Tim, I don’t see any of them doing something that anyone outside of Gotham would care to report on (they don’t leave Gotham publicly often and people outside Gotham don’t want to think about what goes on in that hellhole).

Inside of Gotham, however, is an entirely different story. Inside Gotham, everyone can name the Waynes and point them out on sight, even Steph gets recognized sometimes, though less than the officially adopted kids. Inside Gotham, there’s an article for literally everything they do, even if some of them try so incredibly hard to be private people (and they kinda succeed, but Gotham thinks they don’t). Every paper in Gotham has some mention of them, even if it’s just a name drop, because they are just so involved in the city and there are just so many of them. Most people have seen a Wayne in person, if not personally interacted with them. Unlike other cities with their rich people, Gotham loves them. They defend their rich people and they Gatekeep the hell out of them.

Thank you for coming to my dc talk

[hana-no-seiiki]

I’m watching kardashians new season (i guess i dont have enough drama in my life💀) and i was thinking…

What about yandere family x reader BUT they have same kind of reality tv show?

I just think it would be interesting to see how they would act/how fans would like y/n and the family🤷🏻‍♀️

And the family can be as big/small you want.

Ps.i really love your stories. Keep up the good work🫶🏻

You. You don’t know how much I’ve been having a brainrot over Yandere rich family / Yandere platonic kardashians (mostly as a young teen). How dare you send an ask like this when I’ve moved on? How dare you-

But yeah this is a great idea OMFG WHAT IF YANBOYLOSER (AND BY EXTENSION AMIR) (YANTSUN FOR NEW READERS) IS FROM THE FAMILY-

TW/CW: Yandere and Toxic Family themes. Abuse/Neglect. My capitalisation Is EverywheRe. Horny Siblings. Stepcest(?) Adoptedcest(?) Pseudocest(?) transphobia (not from characters but from society)

The Qasem Clan was notorious to say the least. They used to be known for churning out talents, changers of society and the industries they so choose to venture into. Now they were just a bunch of hopeless, talentless folks with too much money in their hands.

All of them except you.

Granted, you’re an adopted child. The matriarch of the family thought you to be ‘too cute to be in an orphanage’ and stole you away during one of her various charity events she’d attend for the sake of face and bragging rights.

The paternal grandparents didn’t like you too much at the beginning. After realizing that they spoiled their children and grandchildren too much too late, they have grown to be tired and soulless creatures. Often throwing you to lessons because they were much to apathetic to bother with a child that wasn’t of their own blood. It was only when you excelled in literally every single class that they suddenly started pouring love and attention all over you. However the Yandere (and I mean the unhealthy part of it), comes when you realize that all this newfound attention will crumble the moment you fail — not to mention how creepy it is when they started to erase whatever made you look different from the family. The only people stopping them being the yan! matriarch who didn’t want them messing with the reason she adopted you in the first place.

but yeah because of them you’re known as the “qasem’s saving grace” and many people worship the group you walk on. it’s great and all. expectations of being completely perfect aside.

yan! siblings range from being horny to being absolute degenerates towards you. the eldest loves to grope you all over and absolutely despises it when your attention is not on them. but whenever it is, they’ll be off fucking some random stranger in front of you just to make you jealous. they’re completely in it for the chase, and get turned off when you show even the slightest hint of reciprocation. they’d be rich from the amount of sex tapes they have alone. though platonically speaking they’re pretty great actually. a lot of fans made compilations titled “[y/n] and [eldest name] being normal siblings for once” or [eldest name] being [y/n] biggest fan” for when you they show genuine love and interest in what you do.

middle child aka boyloser supreme here is the current heir to the qasem riches. why? because he’s a masochist- okay not really because of just that- he’s a hardworker despite his title and often gets high grades but because that wasn’t really extraordinary in the clan he never got attention for it. what he did get attention for was being depressed and being ‘not presentable’ or ‘filthy’. even then he’s still pretty smart and hasn’t impregnated half the town like the eldest so he’s been entrusted with the riches (also he can’t exactly impregnate since his cock is non existent… yes he has a bussy)

reality tv show wise he was kind of forgotten and/or only known for being somewhat smart until he transitioned and society being society made that a controversy and his only personality trait. until people realized that he’s just so much hotter all of a sudden as a boy? gender euphoria does things to people. a lot of edits between you and him feature the man staring at you from afar. or hiding his arousal that he gets from your existence.

there are many more siblings and other fam members in mind (particularly screeching over the maternal grandparents, I’ll add them if I get more asks to this) but i need to go sleep soon so we’re skipping to youngest child.

you know him, you love him.

it’s yan! tsun!. yeah the boy is spoiled to the max. he somehow spends a million bucks per week (probably on Taylor Swift merch). he swears he doesn’t want to fuck you but he already has a million sex toys modeled after your pp or pps if you’re intersex, whatever it is. the only reason he hasn’t commissioned an accurate wax doll of you is cause he’s afraid it’ll suddenly fall out of the corner of his walk in closet through all those designer clothes and into the eyes of the camera men (he doesn’t care much about his fans/the viewers cause they’re faceless as far as he knows). like eldest he has his wholesome moments when tells you not to worry too much about the show or how you present. though it’s mostly off camera, a lot of fans see how close you are. he also shows his support subtlely when it comes to scandals, like boyloser’s for example wherein he started wearing “feminine” clothes and slaying in them just to slam on those people with paper thin, fragile as glass masculinity.

…but yeah there’s a clip that went viral of him sniffing your clothes.

(will definitely add the women of the family one day….) (most likely if I get another request for this or if this goes big yuh)

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

RTA, speaking of pro-Sussex KK and fam, there’s something fishy imo about the Delaware-incorporated name of MM’s new ARO venture: Mama Knows Best. Whose “Mama” are we talking about, anyway? Mama Doria? Mummy Diana? Mama Momager Kris Jenner? Mama Megs herself? All of the above? There are just too many suspicious PR crossovers between the Sussexes and the Kardashians lately. Doria, Kris, Kim hanging out a few months ago and getting photo-opped together. MM appearing Kardashian-adjacent at Beyonce’s concerts. Harry going skiing with Kris’ SO. Harry allegedly zooming his Diana Awards appearance from a ski chalet on said ski trip. Kim snarking that she’s “Off to find Kate.” The rumors of the Sussexes guest appearing on the Kardashians’ new (struggling) show. Is it possible, do you think, that Mama/Momager Kris is Meghan’s (and maybe H’s as well) new business manager and/or business advisor?

**********

The Kardashians have been trying to get in with the royal family for awhile. Back in 2011 - 2014ish, Kim kept trying to make friends with Kate. Everything from creating and posting ‘Happy birthday Kate’ video messages on social media, giving interviews about how much she loves Kate’s style, naming products after Kate, sending Kate gifts (which KP always returned unopened), matchmaking Prince George and North West together (here’s an example), and paying for a lot of PR on the one time Kate wore the same dress Kim did in 2012 and again in 2015 when Kate rewore it.

As far as we know, Kate never reciprocated or acknowledged Kim Kardashian’s efforts. And for all intent and purpose, Kim gave up on trying to make fetch happen with the royal family. But then Meghan came around, who’s much more Kardashian-like than Middleton-like or Windsor-like that made Kim’s royal aspirations more of a reality.

One of the things I’ve noticed about the Kardashians - Kim more particularly than the rest of them - is that they’re always looking for the next thing that will further legitimize their fame and further solidify their status as “real” A-listers instead of grifters that know how to hustle (remember, the family is only famous because they monetized Kim’s sex tape). Up until Kim married Kanye, no one really took them seriously; they were reality TV stars and WAGs. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But they’ve always wanted more and they’ve always used other people to climb up the fame ladder, legitimize their fame, and develop business opportunities.

Which is what Meghan (and Harry) are. They’re a business opportunity for the Kardashians, who’ve been slowly pivoting to more “behind the scenes” producer-type work than “on-camera” talent. They probably see Meghan as an opportunity to do more directing/producing/developing but the joke will probably be on them - they’re too business-savvy (individually and collectively) for Meghan. Meghan thinks she’s business-savvy like they are but she doesn’t come anywhere close. The primary difference between the Kardashians and Meghan is that they have follow-through, and she does not.

I don’t see the partnership lasting very long. Kris only works with people she knows and people who’ll listen to her/do what she wants. The way I see it, the Sussexes have been lovebombing the Kardashians to become family friends so that Kris will work with them. But that still leaves the “listen to/do what other people say” problem, which is probably going to be Meghan’s downfall. She thinks she’s the expert in everything, which will 100% cause problems with Kris.

And then there’s the WME of it. The Kardashians are WME clients (just like Meghan...hey, how about that?!). WME helped Kim get a role in the American Horror Story franchise. The Kardashians could also be friendly with the Sussexes because WME is making it worth their while.

[thevindicativevordan]

Since you read all of Ultimate Fantastic Four, what do you think of the series?

Gave me an understanding of why shows like Keeping Up With The Kardashians are popular. Something about following trashy people can be oddly compelling and entertaining. Ellis and Millar’s sections were the strongest of the run, with Carey only getting good towards the end. Ellis spends a lot of time “realistically” explaining how the powers of the Four work, and used that same approach to the Ultimate takes on Doom and the Negative Zone too. Millar in contrast is throwing out cool ideas to see what sticks (zombie F4, everyone gets superpowers, spiders that eat time travelers, Doom pulls a Superior Spider-Man on Reed) and doesn’t particularly care to explain in depth how any of it works. His is the most entertaining section of the UFF and the one where the premise really shines. You get to see the potential of a less squeaky clean F4 in terms of what stories can be told, all of the Four get character focus even if in the case of Sue and Johnny it only makes them more unlikable.

I already talked about Reed but regarding the other three:

Ben is more or less the same as his 616 counterpart. Pissed at Reed for his transformation, angsts over it and is terminally depressed, but when his team or world needs him he brings the clobbering. Thing’s best moments are ironically in the President Thor arc where he has no powers. Scene at that end where he beats the Super Skrull to death for genociding Earth is peak Thing. Ben Grimm rules no matter the reality.

Ultimate Johnny is a moron. A well-meaning moron with a (small) heart of gold to compensate for having no brains to be fair. He has some good moments like clueing Reed in that Sue likes him at the start of the series, and being willing to give up his powers if it means curing Ben as an apology for an incredibly asshole “joke” he plays on Ben earlier. But he remains a shallow fratbro for the entire run, with only the death of his father at the end of the series (thanks to Ultimatum) pushing him towards bettering himself. Bendis’ usage of him in USM is superior to how he’s used in UFF imo.

Another unintentional foreshadowing here that I loved. Sue goes on a mission to Siberia alone after Reed alienated himself from the rest of the team because he was obsessed with shooting the Cube. Sue gets shot down and Johnny blames Reed for it, threatening to burn Reed to death if Sue dies. Follows through on that threat after Reed DOES hurt Sue in Ultimate Doom! Within the arc itself Johnny comes across as an unstable prick, but people probably feel more inclined to side with him knowing what Reed will become. I however saw how you could feasibly make Johnny a bad guy, imagine a world where Sue does die and Johnny is the one to go off the deep end. Can’t see 616 Johnny ever breaking like that, but this guy could have.

Sue… is much, much worse than her 616 counterpart. Most writers, even great ones like Hickman, don’t know what to do with Sue. At best she’s the “mom” and that’s her entire character. She takes care of the kids and nags the rest of the team. Ultimate Sue being unmarried means that they can’t fall back on that so instead they make her whole personality being a woman. Mole Man and Namor are sex pests towards her, she gets kidnapped because one villain wants to use her to resurrect his wife and the other villain wants to steal her powers because she thinks they’re wasted on Sue. Everything about her revolves around the men in her life, even breaking her and Reed up merely leads to a new permanent relationship between her and Ben.

Sue’s biggest fear is becoming her mom, who is a selfish asshole who abandoned the Storm family because she valued her career more than them. Suppose that means she’s attracted to Reed initially because her mommy issues made her think she could get Reed to pick her over science where she failed with her mom. She’s constantly showing off skin to titillate the readership. Arcs focused on her were the worst of the run, and that breakup scene at the end of UFF: Requiem managed to make her shooting down a marriage proposal at her dad’s funeral unsympathetic. All these legit reasons to break Sue and Reed up for good, and they went for the one that makes Sue as unlikable as possible. Yeah how dare Reed not prioritize saving you over saving the planet!

If UFF exists on a spectrum with Reed being morally sketchy even prior to his breakdown, and Ben essentially being the same as his 616 counterpart, Johnny and Sue are right in the middle with Johnny edging towards the heroic side and Sue leaning towards villainy. People have forgotten this but Ultimate Sue had two evil futures where she broke bad. One where she becomes Kang which was Fialkov trying to justify Reed’s transformation into Maker, and the other in a completely forgotten F4/X-Men crossover where she becomes an evil dictator in an alternate future after Johnny gets killed in Ultimatum, with Reed opposing her. God that entire story was a fever dream, on its own it’s mediocre as hell but every goddamn reveal hits ten times harder when you know what’s coming.

Damnit this was a punch straight to the gut. In said future Reed becomes Nihl, no matter what it seems he was destined to emulate one of the Four’s foes. Biggest takeaway from UFF for me is that I could buy Ultimate Reed, Sue, or Johnny breaking bad. All three are shitty people with poor emotional control and narcissistic elements to their personalities. Reed simply had the misfortune to be the one Bendis chose to shove into the deep end.

Ultimate X-Men is the only Ultimate series I haven’t read yet but right now I rate UFF as the weakest of the ones I have. It’s not bad by any means! Actually I quite enjoyed it depending on the arc. Unlike USM and Ultimates however I don’t think UFF does anything better than the mainline FF book. Tellingly that while MCU adaptions of Spider-Man and Avengers borrowed a lot from their Ultimate counterparts, the FF seem to be drawing entirely from 616. UFF works better as a contrast with the mainline rather than as an entry point to the franchise for new readers.

[louisisalarrie]

I feel I can say with almost certainty that Louis will NOT be involved in his sisters reality tv show. They’ll mention him no doubt - I mean how else will people know who they are - but he won’t appear. I honestly feel this goes against everything he believes in and he’s so fiercely protective of his privacy that there’s no way he’ll do a U turn on this.

They’ve still got to get backing from tv companies yet so it’s not a definite they’ll even do it. My feeling is it may not even happen. They’re sweet girls but I’m not sure they’re interesting enough (outside of their association with Louis) to warrant their own tv show. Let’s see though.

The general public aren’t gonna tune into a show about two Instagram influencers who are an ex boybander’s little sisters, and haven’t done anything to really warrant a fandom outside of the small amount of louis fans who look up to them (??) no matter how much marketing is involved. If there was a show about Gemma like this, I wouldn’t tune in either.

I don’t think it’ll be backed, and I’ll be surprised if it is. I just don’t want it to be an extra platform to throw F into the ring, because that just entirely makes things so much more complicated and also, not to mention, really opposes louis’ whole image and who we know him to be as a person.

They just haven’t done anything interesting enough to warrant a reality show. The kardashians have built an empire for themselves doing it, but it’s not a formula that can be easily followed. But it is an easy cashgrab because it’s just a camera crew following you around your house. There’s not too much extra planning, apart from the occasional script.

Maybe I should pitch a reality show of my life and see if I can do it too!

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://at.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/httpsattumblrcommialovesharryhmm-why-would-h/9gdq9s9b5hqi

Dif anon! I've got things to say... but first I wanna see you discuss and explain your way of think like you said in your last sentence

Balenciaga is merely a product of the capitalistic fashion industry. People are so mad about the BDSM photo shoot but don’t have an issue with underage models showing their nipples and breasts on the runway? Hmm or young women, a lot of times, from poorer backgrounds being exploited and mentally abused, starting when they are 15, or younger, for the chance to make some money because in a patriarchal world view beauty and youth are the highest value women can offer. A lot of these women are minors and being preyed upon as well. Where’s that outrage? Or the fact that it’s highly demeaning to basically bring pretty young poor girls to show stupidly wealthy people potential outfits they might want to wear on their spring cruise (resort lines). That’s the height of capitalism. It’s not enough to just show the outrageously priced clothes to the wealthy at their house, they want to get the satisfaction of being shown the clothes by starving young girls who generally look pubescent only to have the outfits then altered particularly for their own body. I love fashion as an artistic medium and I’m not taking away from that, but let’s not act like that industry hasn’t been setting the standard for infantilizing women and projecting that the height of beauty is women who are extremely thin, which means they can be easily overpowered, young, vulnerable. The industry is inherently predatory and yes there are designers using models that aren’t standard now that it’s a trend and they have to do that to prevent backlash of their brand. I’m talking about the industry as a whole. I’m not saying what happened with that photo shoot is okay, but honestly it did it’s job completely. But most people are so blinded by the outrage they can’t see the truth. People are like why would they have documents about child porn cases in the photo? What I saw was this exact commentary we’re having. What is child porn? Is what they put out child porn? Having fully clothed children around BDSM stuff? Or is it a juxtaposition between innocence and depravity? Did Kim kardashian go to jail for posting naked pictures of her children on the internet, because pretty sure that’s considered transmitting and distributing sexually explicit photos of a minor. Now this is where Balenciaga is stupid. They could’ve spun it this way and appeared even more woke for making a stand and then paid a group that works with child sex trafficking, maybe even a percentage of the items sold. But no, they decided to pretend they didn’t know or approve this. It’s just interesting how angry people decide to get about things out of the blue. Like all the people on my timeline adopting BLM in 2020 as if Ferguson never happened in 2014. I just think people walk around blind mostly and then they get into angry mob mentality and attack to the point Balenciaga is suing these people when really they’re right. What’s so different about a fully clothed child around BDSM equipment and young minor models baring their tits. Oh breasts aren’t inherently sexual, blah blah, and neither are children but we can’t reject reality. For many, breasts are still sexual regardless of their function. Anyway enjoy this hot take.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

What I love about the gender and sexual diversity in Juno Steel isn’t just that diverse characters exist. It’s that they live in a world where their existence is taken for granted.

So many science fiction stories make diversity A Thing, even if it’s a really small and subtle Thing, and I hate it. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of far-flung futures where people live in space and have amazing technology but culture is still massively cisheteronormative, and I’m even more sick of worlds where authors try to make it so culture isn’t massively cisheteronormative but don’t lay their social groundwork so somehow make it even more of A Thing, revealing their own biases.

Juno Steel doesn’t do that. Not only are characters who aren’t cis or heterosexual everywhere, there’s no underlying assumption that they should be cis or heterosexual. Juno’s a he/him lady and at no point is this any kind of problem for anyone. In the whole series I can think of two people misgendering him (because they just met him and, like anyone when meeting a new person, go on apparent physical and social cues) and in both cases the correction just isn’t A Thing. Early in the series, he’s fighting a random thug, who tells him to “fight like a gentleman”, and he responds with ‘I’m not a gentleman, I’m a lady’ as fighting banter, and it’s treated exactly the same as if someone had called him a dumb blonde and he’d whipped a wig off and said, “actually, I’m a brunette” -- it’s not A Thing. It’s just meaningless fighting banter and they move on.

The second time, he’s at a party, undercover with his boyfriend. The hostess gets into a discussion with said boyfriend about Juno, who’s wearing a very eye-catching golden dress and very much playing up being a lady, and refers to hims as ‘she’, and his boyfriend does NOT do that stupid fucking thing that cis people always do and stop the conversation to be like “AcTuAlLy, my love’s *preferred pronouns* are -- ”, he just continues the conversation calling Juno ‘he’, and the hostess proceeds to do the same (without doing the even more stupid fucking thing of stopping the conversation to apologise, which is obnoxious and The Worst). It’s just Not A Thing.

Said hostess of the party is also trans, and until the party, had presented as a man with the world’s most eye-catching haircut (she’s a rich eccentric). At the party, nobody recognises her until she reveals her identity, not because of her gender presentation, but because she had a haircut. (It’s also a running joke in the series that sometimes someone will mention an old Earth custom that nobody else has ever heard of, like the one character on Mars who celebrates Christmas. This hostess, who has a Russian surname, changes it to the feminine form of the surname as Russians do, and explains it’s an ‘old earth custom’, which confuses the hell out of everyone -- it must get pretty complicated, changing your surname every time you get a haircut.) Her gender is just straightup Not A Thing.

Very early in the series, we meet a celebrity crime family who make a living off crime and reality TV. Imagine if the Kardashians also ran the mafia, and owned a major TV channel and several prisons and mental health facilities where they were allowed to market footage of the people inside for entertainment, privacy laws just not being a thing (or a thing they have circumvented through exploitative contracts). Everything about these people is big and over-the-top they’re terrible on purpose and if somebody dies then that’s great for ratings.

Two of these are Cassandra and her twin brother Cecil. It’s very heavily implied through the story that the pair are identical twins, and given that their voice actor’s voice is definitely not affected by testosterone, reasonable to assume that Cecil is a trans man. We can’t be sure, though, because that never comes up in the plot. Cecil has an underground torture dungeon where he films a twisted quiz show, once got himself kidnapped by gangsters on purpose for TV ratings, lost his arm in the rescue and now has a cool robot arm. Absolutely everything about him is played up and out-there and over the top for those delicious reality TV viewers. At no point is him being trans ever mentioned, even in passing. It’s not part of his persona because it’s just not interesting or unusual. It isn’t A Thing.

The agender characters aren’t A Thing. They’re just there. The gay and bisexual characters aren’t A Thing. They’re just there. Most of what we know about the sexuality of anyone is speculation based on their dating history; nobody ever comes out to anyone because there’s no need to, there’s no assumption of heterosexuality so the lack of heterosexuality isn’t a surprise. Juno can kiss Peter in one episode and Alessandra a couple of episodes later and doesn’t have to explain to anyone that he’s bisexual. Alessandra can have a fling with Juno and then get engaged and there’s no assumption that her fiance is a man, or surprise that she’s a woman.

Only twice in the series does anyone explicitly state romantic or sexual preferences -- Rita, in a strip club, is asked whether she wants the company of a man or a woman and says “just give me whatever”. (This is a reasonable question to explicitly ask in a strip club.) And Jet, in conversation, once mentions not having romantic or sexual feelings for anybody -- this isn’t explained because HEY LOOK EVERYONE ASEXUALITY AND AROMANTICISM IS A THING, LOOK AT OUR DIVERSITY, WE HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THERE’S AN ACE GUY HERE. It’s explained because Jet overexplains and overspecifies everything. It’s a core character trait of his, and his sexuality is neither exempt from this nor given special treatment, because it isn’t A Thing.

I’m tired of stories with space travel that unconsciously reflect our own cisheteronormativity no matter how socially advanced they try to be, in the same way that I’m tired of stories with dragons in them that unconsciously reflect our own misogyny no matter how gender equal they claim to be. It’s just nice to see someone get it right occasionally.

[none-but-y0u]

modern au where the harringtons have their own long running reality tv show (ala keeping up with the kardashians or something) and steve liked it at first when he was young because it was the only time his family was around because they had to film.

 but when he gets older, he hates it because everyone loves their show, but the world doesn't know that they're living a lie and that filming takes slightly longer now because his parents can't go ten minutes without arguing and he hates the show and hates having to put on a show for the world

 and everyone loves him especially. has over 10 million insta followers and has his own business that he started (courtesy of his parents trust fund that he hates but everyone else loves so he has to keep it running). and he can't go anywhere w/o being recognized by some random stranger on the street. and it all feels so invasive like he's an animal in a zoo being ogled and he feels like he's suffocating.

 and the worst part of it all can't hang out with robin in public without people thinking they're dating which brings up a whole other issue. Because he’s been cursed to be a hopeless romantic which is simply not compatible with the lifestyle he lives because everyone wants to date steve HARRINGTON and not just STEVE. And the one person who he did fall in love with, cheated on him with one of the camera men so his track record for romance is really low but his loneliness and yearning levels are at an all time high.

 And yet. At the root of it all. Is Billy. Billy who he met at age 10 when his dad was hired as a stagehand/carpenter and is always on set making sure everything is running smoothly mechanical wise. 

 Billy who he grew up with because he was always on set when they filmed because he was too young to be left alone and his mom went out one day and never came back. And that’s something he and steve connect on. That lonely abandoned feeling.

 And so the years pass, and throughout the never ending seasons, the relentless paparazzi, and the constant fights in the harrington household, billy remains constant. And steve loves him for that. Which is the biggest problem of all. Because billy stayed not because he wants to be around steve HARRINGTON. But because he wants to be around STEVE.

 And then the dreaded news comes in. CANCELLED. After 15 seasons, THE HARRINGTONS will be ending their show so they can focus on being a family. And the whole thing is bittersweet because ha. His parents are 15 years too late to try to be a family. But most of all, he’s gonna miss billy. Gonna miss hiding out in the secret grove they discovered when they were 13. And 5 years later when billy told steve he liked boys and steve said it was okay because he might like both, and then they kissed because they had never kissed another boy before and why not just get it out the way.

But of course, all things must come to an end, no matter how good they are. So when that dreaded last day of filming arrives, and billy walks over to say his final goodbyes, pants hung low with that genuine smile that steve knew was only reserved for him, steve felt like his heart was going to burst. Felt like he was losing the only person who ever really knew him. And he can’t stomach the fact that he’s gonna be alone again. Because billy has gotten him through everything these long years, and he doesn’t know if he can survive a lifetime of loneliness. A life w/o billy. 

And so steve. Attempts a smile, stifles a sob, and then. Runs.

Billy finds him, face blotchy and nose running, minutes later because obviously he knows the one place steve can go to be without camera is their secret place. And it takes a moment, but eventually steve chokes out an “i don’t want to be alone again” before bursting into tears again. 

And billy watches him before reaching out, running a hand down the side of steve’s face and says “you’re not gonna be alone, pretty boy. You got me.”

And steve can only chuckle because yeah he has billy now, but not in the way he wants, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get it. But robin says that sometimes he needs to be bold. And that he need to realize that he is deserving of loving and being loved. And so he turns his eyes up at billy, pulls all the confidence he can muster and “i love you. I have since you stayed up with me all night on my 16th birthday when my parents forgot about it so we had to have a second one a few days later so the cameras could film it.”

Billy’s face turns contemplative and steve’s prepared to get let down easily. Is prepared to hear another “bullshit” again.

But it never comes. 

Because billy leans forward, crouching in the secret grove that their 25 year old selves can’t quite fit in comfortably anymore, and he kisses him. Soft and quick and only lasts a brief second because billy slightly pulls back to whisper a “i’ve been in love with you since you shook my hand and smiled at me when we were 10.” 

and that lights steve up inside because that means that billy didn’t fall in love with steve HARRINGTON. He fell in love with STEVE and that was enough. And he can’t put into words how much that means to him, so he leans forward, and kisses him again. 

[adamwatchesmovies]

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (2013)

You can’t make a film like Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor on purpose. It’s an avalanche of badly written, finger-wagging drama so misguided it could only come from complete unawareness.

Told in flashback, a marriage counselor (Candace Coke) tells a woman whose marriage is on the rocks a story about her "sister”, Judith (Jurnee Smollet-Bel). Married to her childhood sweetheart, Brice (Lance Gross) they had a seemingly ideal relationship until Judith met Harley (Robbie Jones), a potential investor in the matchmaking agency she worked for.

This film is an old lady telling you about the boogeyman that is adultery. It alternates between being so ill-informed and hammy that it’s hilarious, and being so oblivious to what its saying it becomes offensive. To give you an idea, when Harley looks at the compatibility quiz Judith gives her clients, he notices that it contains no questions about sex. Why? Because Judith doesn’t believe in premarital relations! I think you may be in the wrong line of work, woman! Of course, this is all to show us just how far she will fall later - going from someone that's pure and innocent to... well, I don't want to give too much away.

When the plot really kicks in, we're supposed to be shocked by the (non-existent) turmoil inside Judith as she is lured to Harley’s bedroom over and over. While holding back laughs, you may be too distracted to recognize how awful the performances are - and I'm not just talking about Kim Kardashian. These poor actors. Their material is so weak. Faithful husband Brice might as well be a cardboard cutout. He's a wet towel with a spine made of overcooked spaghetti. BORING. Nobody else is the least bit likeable so you don’t care what they have to say. Judith has no volition of her own and is so clueless it becomes impossible to sympathize with her. Harley is made into a villain in ways you didn’t even know were possible. The man’s got no subtlety to him, whatsoever. You’d think a (presumably) intelligent woman like Judith - who has gone to school to learn about human behavior - would see right through him but she’s just so hungry for that man meat she gets lured away like so many rats behind the pied piper.

The film can’t even get the “temptation” aspect right. When you see Lance Gross with his shirt off… he’s ripped! You’d expect him to be kind of shlubby, but no! He is given flaws but not wanting to pick a fight with a stranger, choosing a cheap buffet as a date spot and only being able to perform vanilla sex moves are not really big enough to split a relationship. No. His real crime is that he is the dumbest husband you’ve seen in a long time.

I enjoyed - and by this I mean I laughed at - Temptation quite a bit. You won't necessarily have the same reaction unless you detach yourself from reality during your viewing. If a friend of mine went through what Judith does in this film, I’d call the police. There are some awfully rape-y moments here… but you’re not supposed to think about that. This story exists in its own dimension and its characters are not real people. They’re symbols, collections of tropes one might find in trashy stories about adultery all smooshed together under the supervision of Tyler Perry. He may be a good businessman but as a writer and director, he's hopeless. Temptation has all the subtlety of a PSA at the end of a children’s cartoon, particularly during its conclusion. You could write a whole chapter about its insane implications and will have trouble believing what you just saw.

I won’t be surprised if you tell me you hated Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor but I liked it. Not for the reasons I was supposed to; in fact, I like it because it goes overboard in so many ways. If you’re into bad films, I think it’s worth checking out, though probably only the one time. (On DVD, May 12, 2018)

[helloswallowtailcat]

Top 5 ND fuckboys

**JUST TO BE CLEAR, I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE ARE PROBLEMATIC JOKES IN HERE, SPECIFICALLY ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT AND COLONIALISM, PLEASE PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK**

Dieter von Schwesterkrank

I have so much disdain for this guy, partly because from the moment you walk into his studio he speaks to you like he’s seen so many girls march through his door before, whether for sexual purposes or otherwise, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a “casting couch” policy. On top of it, his relationship with Minette is meant to explicitly parallel that of Noisette and Hans, and despite the fact that the actions of his great-uncle absolutely do not reflect on him, I just cannot get the taste of Nazi out of my mouth. He probably has an instagram page filled with pap shots taken with celebrity models. He’s a tired, wannabe influencer that no one actually notices. He probably puts zero effort into pleasing his partners and zones out during sex. And don’t think I support his arch rival Jean Mi, who is just as contemptible Eurotrash.

2. Taylor Sinclair

I feel like this man has “degenerate” sex, and you may know why. He strikes me as the kind of person who achieved moderate success and wealth with absolutely no qualifications and by profiting off of other people’s accomplishments. Correct me if I’m wrong, as I’m not well-versed in Taylor’s backstory, but what with his Latin American connections, I feel like he regularly snorts cocaine out of hundred dollar bills off of hooker’s tits while also engaging in more extreme sexual fetishes. He probably regularly hires escorts and/or uses sugar daddy dating websites.

3. Tino Balducci

This guy is eminently unlikeable, but also entertaining. He uses any greasy sexual charm he possesses to further his floundering career as a private detective after he unceremoniously lost his job as a police detective in the wake of TRN. He is just as much a clout chaser as Dieter, if not more so, because he’s even more talentless and desperate. He constantly tries to hit up Z-list celebrities and be seen in the company of people who he thinks might raise his profile, as his brief run-in with tabloid fame triggered an appetite for that ubiquitous “Kardashian-level” notoriety. He has sex with women based on number of instagram followers.

4. Lou Talbot

He’s a self-proclaimed polyamorous stoner, artist California dude who hides a much darker secret. Because of the fact that he’s involved in substantial illegal activity (ie stealing/prospecting for dinosaur bones) I get the impression that he’s quite manipulative and mean-spirited and his chill, laidback persona is just a facade. I could totally see him blackmailing Nancy for attempting to steal his snowshoes by forcing her to have sex with him.

5. Rick Arlen/Brady Armstrong

These two are lumped into the same profile because they’re basically the same, two moderately successful actors who think they’re hot stuff, but who will be absorbed by the abyss of mediocrity by the time streaming becomes a thing. They will both probably attempt to stage pathetic reality show “comebacks” and book cringy guest appearances on more successful shows that will ultimately go nowhere. In the meantime, both try and seduce women with the promise of career advancement, meaning that they would eventually get hit with some serious MeToo allegations, which they, of course, vigorously deny.

Honourable Mentions: Alejandro del Rio: This guy is so passive aggressive, I bet he has role play sex involving conquistadors which allow him to release all that bottled up sexual frustration and rage.

Richard Topham: I believe he is established in-universe to be a hack and a scam artist, so I can definitely see him taking advantage of gullible young women to fulfill his sexual desires. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, and I can totally see him building up a Stepford wife army of naive young housewives and gullible young girls that he either attempts to seduce or straight up sexually harasses and/or attempts to rape. Because of both the time period and the economic climate I can definitely see him threatening and/or extorting these women and them being far more vulnerable to him than they otherwise might be. He is clearly extremely manipulative and unscrupulous and so, I do not put it past him to abuse his power.

Yanni Volkstaia: I feel like this guy is less malicious in his sexual habits, but that he regularly has group sex, threesomes and casual sex in general because of the nature of his celebrity athlete lifestyle and sex really functions as a release mechanism for him. I could also totally see him hooking up with his competitors/fellow athletes before and after the events. (unrelated but volk means wolf in Russian)

Oh, before I forget, Markus Boehm: It’s sort of implied that he’s a relatively shallow, superficial playboy who left Anja pretty suddenly. I prefer to believe Anja is just an unreliable narrator in this scenario, but I digress. I totally see him living a *tasteful* playboy lifestyle. He’s such a fun and disinterested phone contact (compared to Ned who is clingy beyond belief) and he will weirdly stonewall certain topics, it’s delightful. He feels like a fun palate cleanser from the overly invested Neds and Franks of the world.

[mst3kproject]

Godmonster of Indian Flats

If I had a dollar for every movie I’ve seen about a bloodthirsty mutant sheep, I would have... two dollars.

I was entirely willing to feature Godmonster of Indian Flats based on its strangeness alone, but it does have one connection to MST3K in that actress Peggy Browne was also in Avalanche. Another performer here, Kerrigan Prescott, also had a part in previous Episode that Never Was Fiend Without a Face, so hey, close enough!

Dr. Clemens and his assistant Mariposa discover a mutant lamb on Eddie the Rancher’s sheep farm, and take it up to a secret lab at Indian Flats for study.  This seems somewhat outside of Clemens’ claimed purview as an anthropologist, but whatever, I’m just here to watch the movies.  While the monster grows to maturity in a tank, the mayor of a local tourist town, Mr. Silverdale, is refusing to sell land to a Mr. Barnstable, who is interested in the mining rights.  We soon get the idea that Silverdale is less interested in tourism than he is in having his own private Wild West LARP, and the townsfolk have an almost cult-like reverence for him.  Eventually, their increasingly violent attempts to run Barnstable out of town cross paths with Dr. Clemens’ pet mutant, and all hell breaks loose!

Well, maybe not all hell.  This movie hasn’t got the money for all hell.  Rest assured, though, that they unleash all the hell they could afford.

The hell in question takes the form of a lumpy hunchbacked sheep creature with a rubbery sock puppet head, one long dangling arm, and a huge Kim Kardashian ass.  It interrupts a picnic, and blows up a gas station by knocking over a pump with its bubble butt.  It may or may not understand English, and it breathes poisonous gas when injured.  The puppet is pretty weird and scary-looking in the darkness of Clemens' secret lab, but out in the full light of day it is ridiculous.

Any movie with a mutant sheep monster is going to be weird, and the monster is the weirdest thing in the movie, but make no mistake – Godmonster of Indian Flats sans monster would still be a weird fucking movie. The other story going on here, Silverdale vs Barnstable, is thoroughly bizarre in itself.

Apparently it's not enough for Silverdale and the townspeople to simply refuse to sell Barnstable their mining rights.  Instead, they have to totally ruin his career and both his physical and mental health! First of all, they invite him to their 'Bonanza Days' and have him take part in a shooting contest, where the whole town conspires to make it look like he accidentally shot the sheriff's dog.  Then they hold a funeral for the dog as if it were a person.  The whole time the dog is fine – it was just playing dead, and afterwards the sheriff sends it to live with a friend.

When Barnstable still doesn't leave town after this, Silverdale's toady Phil whacks him over the head with a bottle, then shoots himself in the shoulder and puts the gun in the unconscious man's hand.  Barnstable wakes up in jail and demands a lawyer, but everybody ignores him.  Eddie and Mariposa help him escape, and the sheriff then forms a posse to hunt him down and lynch him!  At the end of the movie Silverdale triumphantly tells Barnstable that he's going to lose his job because his boss is embarrassed by all these goings-on.  At this point Barnstable also has a cracked skull and a broken arm.  He's a PTSD-ridden shell of a man and yet Silverdale is still yelling “I've beaten you, Barnstable!” as the end credits roll.

All of this might become a little less weird (but way more horrible) when I mention that Barnstable is the only black character with dialogue.  And yet, none of it is ever overtly framed as racist.  Nobody ever uses a slur – in fact, Barnstable's race is never once referenced in dialogue, not even obliquely.  You could cast a white actor in this part and nothing would have to be changed. What Barnstable seems to represent, and what Silverdale and the townspeople claim to be fighting against (Silverdale declares that he is 'the custodian of an era'), is decadence and capitalism, concepts traditionally associated with a white elite.

This in itself should be read as a commentary on race.  It's notable that Barnstable is playing by white rules.  He's a smooth businessman representing the interests of his presumably white boss.  When Silverdale invites him to Bonanza Days, he is happy to step into that role, too.  He dresses the part and takes up the six-shooter, and does a pretty good job with it.  Barnstable is a 'model minority' figure, a black man with the trappings of white success... and in spite of that, he is still abused.  Hard as he tries to fit into the white people's world, he is not welcome there.

I don't think that's actually what Barnstable is supposed to represent to the viewer, however.  The people of this town are described in the opening as 'living in the past' and we see that they're very dedicated to it.  Silverdale dresses the part of a nineteenth century gentleman even when he's at home.  Everybody dresses up in period costumes for occasions like parties and church, and the town's status as a tourist attraction requires many people to play such a role full-time.  There's a dark underbelly to this quaint little world, as we see in the opening when a barmaid steals Eddie's casino winnings, but even that fits their chosen period.

Barnstable intrudes into this world as a representative of modernity and reality. If you're paying attention, you soon realize that the 'past' the townsfolk are living in isn't like the real past at all.  The real history of this little mining town would have involved filthy, back-breaking work in the mines, and saloons full of drunks, prostitutes, and crime.  The modern town has adopted the pretty trappings of the 19th century – the clothes, the horses, and nice little shows of piety like the dog funeral – while sweeping the dirt and violence under the rug.  The latter are only to be turned on outsiders.

This fantasy version of the old west is also very, very white.  In the real world, history is always more diverse than we usually think it was – one of the historical figures who inspired the character the Lone Ranger, for example, was Bass Reeves, the first black US Marshall in the west.  The people in Silverdale's town have no interest in that.  There is not a single Native American character in the movie, and I've already mentioned the lack of other people of colour, except for a couple of background tourists.  This is an essential part of throwing away the ugly parts of the past – race brings conflict, and Silverdale and his followers want none of that. Barnstable's race makes his status as an outsider all the more obvious, both visually and as a reminder that the world these people are trying to live in never really existed.

This puts Barnstable in a very strange place in this movie.  He's definitely a victim, but never a hero – in fact, Godmonster of Indian Flats is yet another movie that doesn't have a hero – yet he is not a villain, either.  He's just some poor bastard who wandered into a horror movie and now he can't find his way out of it.

So... what does any of this have to do with a mutant sheep monster?

I dunno.  There seem to have been mutants in this area for a long time, since Clemens talks about legends of a 'mine monster' and even shows off weird fossils he's found, but how does that tie into the theme of clinging to the past?  Maybe it's supposed to be about history repeating itself, since new monsters are being born just as the mines are about to re-open?  I have no idea.

Does the monster die at the end?  I cannot tell you.  I think it dies when the truck it was caged in blows up?  The movie ends with an angry mob pushing the truck over a steep slope where they dump their garbage, while Eddie, Clemens, and Mariposa try to reveal Silverdale's own land-grab scheme.  This all degenerates into chaos and people tumbling down the hill and shooting each other, while Silverdale stands there yelling about how violence controls the masses and how he's beaten Barnstable. It's an ending that seems calculated to leave the audience going, “... huh?”.

Why is it a God monster? Now this, I do have a theory about.  I don't think the sheep is actually the godmonster – I think the titular menace is actually Mr. Silverdale! He wields a god-like authority within the town, even when his evil scheme is apparently exposed at the end, and uses it to do monstrous things!  If that's not what they were going for... then I have no idea.

I mentioned in the opening that I've seen two movies about mutant sheep monsters.  The other is Black Sheep, which is one of those off-the-wall movies they make in New Zealand when they're not doing Tolkien-related stuff.  Black Sheep was apparently inspired by Godmonster of Indian Flats, but it throws out the race relations stuff and runs with the 'mutant sheep' thing to make on of the most perfect dark comedies I've ever seen.  I would recommend it to the strong-stomached in the same way I recommended The Valley of Gwangi to anyone disappointed by Beast of Hollow Mountain – it is everything the older film should have been but was not.

[msgrumpygills]

"They completely robbed all the context to fit their narrative, it's very false."

I mean yeah...they stretched the turth to put more sympathy on Misha, as stans do, but uh...doesn't change the fact that Jared's escalation was assholeish. Someone parks too close to my car, my automatic response isn't to slash their tires. New tires aren't cheap. A tow truck shows up to tow my car off, I mean yeah I'm pissed, but I talk to them and let them do their job and I certainly wouldn't go so far as to threaten to destroy both the tow truck and a coworker/"friend's" car. And the " I can pay for it" thing. Then you can pay the tow fee. It's like 200 bucks to get a car out of impound (in the US at least). If you can pay to destroy two vehicles that aren't yours and replace/ fix them you can pay a towing and impound fee. I think that's the part (other than the violent retaliation) that speaks the loudest. Your wife promotes Take Only What You Need while wearing her $2000 outfits and you brag about being able to afford destroying two vehicles. To an average person, the towing fee and impound fee would be a severe financial upset and you can pay for TWO vehicle destruction/repairs. How relateable. It's people like this I worry about when/if the economy goes down the toilet. They won't know how to function without their financial security. God forbid they have to get their clothes at a Goodwill or their groceries at a Piggly Wiggly or wherever. I bet they'd be mortified to even set foot in a food locker. Or live in a house that either has just enough rooms for each person or one room too few. Imagine how much "me time" Gen would need if she couldn't afford her full time staff and had to childrear and housekeep while working 40 hours a week like the rest of society. Or worse, was forced to be a SAHM because she couldn't even afford child care for when she is working. Jared would have to fly economy on a cheap airline😱. It's exactly this type of attitude and behaviour that made me stop caring about the Pads. They are so unbelievably out of touch with reality. Jared isn't a saint. He's a rich celebrity that does rich celebrity bs and gets away with it because he is a rich celebrity who can pay his way out of actual consequences.

I'm sorry, but no matter which way you spin that story, Jared still comes out looking like an ass.

They definitely left out Misha’s participation in everything, but even with his participation, it doesn’t make Jared look better. 

I also don’t want to slash someone’s tires if someone parks too closely. I’ve complained or swore under my breath, but slashing someone’s tires? That’s a bit much there, Hulk. 

The thing about it too is that Jared caught his car being towed BEFORE IT WAS TOWED. Yes, if the prank had gone through and they had taken his car, he’d need to pay the fees, but he caught it before the car left. So he wouldn’t have had to pay anything.

It definitely says a lot about him as a person that he actually considered destroying two cars, possibly compromising the tow driver’s job, all for a PRANK because “he could afford it”. I used to think that he needed to be rescued from Gen, but they’re perfect for each other. 

I think you’re right, if they were ever in the circumstance where they needed to face real problems and couldn’t use money to get out of them, they’d probably both lose their minds.  I’d love to see them switch places with a “regular” family and see just how out of touch they are. 

Jensen and Misha are also rich, but you don’t see them flaunting it around and you don’t see them acting like they’re so busy and relatable because they need “me time” and are dealing with the “holiday craziness”. I mean Danneel actually came out and admitted that they had a nanny and so she wasn’t acting like she was doing it all like super mom Gen. 

The Pads are ridiculous. They’re turning into the Kardashians of the SPN world.

[katnissmellarkkk]

Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[bluboothalassophile]

#21 from your prompt list jayrae with kids . The children drawer horrible drawings but they still hang it up anyway because they love them

Hello,

Okay few things before you guys start reading this.

1. It’s set in HfaB Universe, not really spoilers but just in case, yes it’s spoilers.

2. I don’t see HfaB JayRae having children, however, they do have all of Jay’s family which is a boatload and a half of kids of various ages because in HfaB they did really adopt the ‘It Takes a Village’ aspect of family because they’re so big. Also, I just cannot see those two ever having children, just doesn’t strike me as something they’d want or strive to have.

3. Barbara Gordon Married Luke Fox at some undetermined point of HfaB, which is important to know because they adopted Carrie Kelley and Nell Little and later had joint custody over Thomas Grayson-Gordon-Fox with Dick.

Jack Bollocks...

Jason and Raven were probably the only ‘kid-less’ couple in his family. And he would say that loosely. Jason’s family was obscenely large, and while he didn’t think it was because of a lack of birth control it was definitely a lack of adoption impulse control. Which was fine, it was fine, it was family, and his family was huge and diverse and that was fine.

But now there were a hoard of kids he always seemed to have on hand and he wasn’t a dad, and Raven wasn’t a mom. And Jason knew, not even a month into their marriage, they weren’t likely to have any children of their own, which was fine by him, and Raven never brought up the matter as an issue.

See, as a demoness, part mortal and part divine, a granddaughter of Death and God, Raven was infertile, she would not have a child in the traditional way, and Jason was fine with that. And between them, they had both not been inclined to adopt a child because his family was already huge, Jason had several orphanages and safe havens, and had restructured the fostering system in Gotham to such a point that he was mainly involved with kids already, they just didn’t feel a need to have kids.

At the end of the day, it was just him and just Rae, and they kind of liked that about them.

Still, for not having any kids, there was so much kid art on his fridge that he was genuinely concerned for space. And today was proving that as he held Luke and Bab’s daughter in his arms, and the other one clung to his leg.

Nell Little was an orphan that Luke and Babs had fostered and adopted, she was abandoned in Gotham’s system. Jason loved his ‘niece’ fiercely, but she was at the art stage, and as he was a babysitter most frequently, that meant he had the art that was ‘for him’ and not ‘for mom and dad’ put on his fridge. Her older sister, Carrie Kelly, was clinging to his leg and snickering like this was a challenge he would fail, which was irritating. Carrie, for not being genetically related to Babs, had a lot of Babs traits. Their elder brother wasn’t helping matters because he was laughing to himself as he played on his phone. Thomas Grayson-Gordon-Fox was the interdimensional child product of Barbara and Dick from another dimension somewhere in the dark multi-verse who had been sent here for sanctuary purposes; Jason honestly didn’t think Tommy even knew he was from another dimension he’d been here so long.

“Jay?” Nell whimpered as she stared at his fridge.

“I’m gonna put it up, I just need to find the perfect spot so we can admire it!” he promised.

“T’eres no room!” Nell sobbed.

“Raven!” Jason shouted for his wife who materialized from no where and floated over his shoulder.

“Yes?” she drawled out.

“Where would be a good spot to display this?” he asked.

“Oh, lovely, is that a blue sun?” Raven asked Nell.

“It’s the ocean!” Nell quipped happily.

“Yeah, Rae, obviously that’s the ocean!” he defended playfully.

“My mistake,” she chuckled. “Um… how about we start a wall?” Raven offered.

“Alright,” he agreed, and he saw Carrie pouting which had her big brother laughing. Jason found a wall on his warehouse to tack up Nell’s painting and looked at his wife for help. “We’ll put it uptop so that way we can fill this whole wall,” he assured her.

“REALLY!” Nell gasped excitedly.

“Of course. Family wall of art,” he stated.

“It’ll be lovely,” Raven chuckled as she came back down to land beside him.

“It’ll look like a Jackson Pollock painting, but what the hell,” he sighed.

“Who Jack Bollocks?” Nell whispered in his ear.

“Famous artist,” Raven answered for him.

“Oh, so… we…artists?” the toddler asked.

“That’s right sweetie, you are,” Jay agreed. “Go paint us another painting and we’ll get to filling up this wall.”

“YAY!” Nell scrambled down and ran for the paints with Carrie, Tommy rolled his eyes and followed.

“It’s so ugly,” he whispered.

Raven laughed as she leaned on him.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but none of us, except Dami, are artistic!” he muttered.

“Jay,” she laughed. “Maybe we should have your other relatives join and diverse-ify the wall of art?” she offered. “Terry’s not bad with sketching, and Mar'i makes those beautiful abstract patterns.”

“Rae, we will lose this warehouse if we let the rugrats take over,” he pointed out.

“Jay, we already lost this warehouse to your rugrats, that’s why we have Massachusetts,” she pointed out.

“Oh, and what are you thinking?” he asked as he smiled a bit.

“Long weekend, just us,” she murmured.

“I like that idea,” he agreed. “Should be able to get my family to wrangle their kids into place.”

“Mmm, that’s a lot of kids,” she chuckled.

“They really need to work on their adoption impulses, I mean all my birth control jokes are out the window because of the lack of adoption impulses,” he grumbled.

Raven was laughing hard against him which had him smiling as he slung his arm around her shoulders.

“Jason, it’s a good thing you can’t make the birth control jokes,” she mused. “Besides, found families are precious, and that makes your family special in ways no one will ever understand.”

“Yeah, richest, large family in the states,” he mused. “We’re bigger than the Kardashians!”

“See, good things,” she mused.

“I can see the reality show now. ‘Keeping up with the Bats!’, it’d drive people insane,” he mused.

“Especially when they see the kid art,” she mused. “It’s like the shrink ink blobs,” she pointed out.

He smiled as he kept from laughing.

“In all seriousness though, it is lovely, even if it’s horrible,” she assured him. “I think it livens up our home.”

“And the perpetual chaos doesn’t do that already!?”

“No, that’s just a byproduct of Bats.”

[nostuntmanneeded]

To be fair, I feel like she's not really comparable to Kim K // Hear gear, unlike her, Kim is actually a respectable person, I mean she's definitely not the best person out there but so are we, I'm not exactly a fan of the Kardashians, while I agree that it's really weird being that famous when they're not performers or some sort of other stuff most famous people commonly do and starring in a reality tv show isn't exactly an actual job, at least they could still say that they climbed their way up to where they are now. They didn't specifically pull a shit ton of PR stunts and did a shit ton of clout chasing to establish their status in the industry, it tooks years for them to build their name, they didn't follow their PR boyfriend all the way to Prague and walk around the streets, wearing a neck gaiter that clearly doesn't fit them and not doing shit to actually protect them, specifically protect the people around from them, but still insisted on wearing it when she's wearing an actual proper mask on her other hand just to push some narrative that they're sharing neck gaiter with their boyfriend because that's #goals #sanitary

Exactly!

The Kardashians may not be the best public figures and influencers to look up to, but at least they are somewhat working.

We don't see them throwing themselves into multiple ridiculous publicity stunts, and if we do, they're actively working as well.

It's the fact that Alejandra uses the PR stunts to get famous that separates her from other celebrities who have gone through a stunt before. She believes that these stunts will make her a star whereas it's the talent and hard work that often makes people stars.

[escxpiism]

( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing 

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard! 

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter? 

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all. 

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh. 

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her. 

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite?? 

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know?? 

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead. 

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps. 

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o 

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3 

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess?? 

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps. 

VERY private person! has had enough public standing! 

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3 

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s. 

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!