#am I all alone?

[ragamuffin-ponies]

I have an idea for a music project called Wolf of Babylon.

It is far too ambitious and serious for anything I could make alone, that's for sure. And I don't know who care enough to help me.

The song would address two identities I feel at odds within myself, that being my queerness and my Christian faith. I have struggled with these two sides of my soul for a long, long time. There was a while where I thought I wasn't as queer as I am, and likewise there was a time in my life where my faith in Christ was shaken. I felt like I could never be welcome in one community while I was apart of the other, and so I feared I would be in neither.

For a while, this was the case. Even now I feel like a black sheep among the queer and christian communities.

I'm sure to most this would not come as a shock, but the queer community I found has been far more welcoming and accepting of my faith than any christian community has of my queerness. My christian friends have always been very accepting, especially as we have all grown and learned more about sexuality and gender. But with my family, I feel burdened and shackled by my identity. This has nothing to do with religion, I am definitely the most religious of my household by a longshot, it's not even close.

My point to make, is I feel as though I cannot express my faith to my queer friends without feeling shunned, belittled, and patronized. Worse yet, I cannot express my queerness to christians other than my close friends without being called a confused heretic.

I think it's definitely my privilege, though, it is my understanding that must queer people turn away from faith as an act of nessesity. And I think that is a terrible, terrible, deeply saddening thing. It breaks my heart seeing queer people shunned and abused into seeing faith as an antithesis to queerness. It genuinely makes me cry.

This would be what my song would be about. That the suffering of Christ can be shown in a queer narrative. That evangelicalism is the wolf that Jesus warns about throughout the bible.

My biggest question is to the world as much as it is to God. Does anyone even care about this? Am I the only one with this struggle? At a time in my life where all my problems have been being solved, I have become far more contemplative and reflective on who I am. I've never felt more alone in a struggle. I really feel like I have no one to turn to other than myself and prayer.

I do not like feeling shunned or at war with myself. I don't really know who I am at this point in my life.

[tetsuhaato]

all my haters turn into graters when i present them with the cheeese of success

[zillychu]

everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn

[quiddie]

Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.

So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.

[heartorbit]

happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇

[papanowo]

i think dan should get to be a little weird too. as a treat

[hajimedics]

I'M NOT YOUR DOLL AND I'LL THINK FOR MYSELF AND I'LL LIVE FOR MYSELF

[drrav3nb]

AYO EDEBIRI as Sydney Adamu WILL POULTER as Luca THE BEAR SEASON 3 | Episode 10 - Forever

Are you close? Yeah. Kind of best friends and kind of lost touch, so. It's nice to reconnect. Yeah, especially when it literally is like a best friend that you saw every day of your life and you kinda went through this sort of battle together.

Bonus:

[revvethasmythh]

caduceus roasting more than just the vegetables, wow

[emerynn-art]

was feeling kinda down this morning so i drew max six times and that seemed to do the trick

[egophiliac]

i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada

thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.

also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!

not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops

[livsmessydoodles]

looking out for you

[decarabias]

forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?

and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.

this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.

and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.

[dkettchen]

she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh

[grand-line-shenanigans]

For those of us who cannot comprehend big numbers (me) I have done the math. FOUR FUCKING YEARS. SECUNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

[weaponizedalibi]

Erm guys I think she might know how joan of arc felt...... lol.........

Made in flipaclip, edited in cap cut. Song is Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths