#always need to come up with bs to say about people you don’t know because you’re a hater

[secretlythepits]

I’m spinning.

His pain seems to be getting worse. He says he just can’t take it anymore but it has been this way for a while. I don’t think that’s true, because I can literally see the pain on his face and in his eyes and that is new.

He decided to take the opioids. He was just taking 1 at night to sleep some nights, but his pain is so disruptive, he can’t function so he decided to just take them as they wear off. Hopefully this won’t result in too terrible of side effects. He is prone to constipation and has had huge problems with it in the past. That’s a common side effect.

I just think this is such a bad omen. I don’t know if he can come back from this pain. I’m afraid it will only increase. His fancy bicycle hasn’t arrived yet. Will he even get to ride it?

But who knows? Sometimes it feels like there is a big hoopla and then it dies down. Worry for nothing. Now we get to wait for scan results again. I am so over this.

I need some therapy now. We have an appointment with palliative care which should open us up to therapy, but I might just try and make any appointment with anyone through my insurance tomorrow. I can switch later. I just want to talk at someone and then have them tell me I’m wonderful and will be ok, and let’s make a realistic plan you can work on in these impossible circumstances. I could call friends, but I have so many lines of thought right now. So many conflicted feelings. I’m tangled up.

Here’s what I’m worried about: I feel trapped and frozen. Pretty sure it’s a trauma coping mechanism. I need to get some work done, but we have so many appointments and I feel distracted by his symptoms. It’s hard to ignore someone’s suffering even though I can’t do anything and he doesn’t want me to. Still, I feel like I need to get my business together. Yesterday.

He’s applied for unemployment but there keep being bs problems with his application. There is no helpline or office. I think they do this to make it hard for people to get their money. Seriously, we don’t know what to do. Social security is also being slow. It’s retirement, so why does it take so long to review? We have an appointment to get the child benefits of a retiree in a few weeks, but his retirement hasn’t been approved yet. I hope these get figured out and that we get back pay. I delayed worrying, but now I don’t know. He has been handling it and because they are his accounts he needs to be the one. His pain makes it hard for him to keep pushing against these brick walls of bureaucracy.

This means I should just focus and get my work together, but I feel like I’ve been dancing around my difficult tasks. Part of it is just that I struggle to function on such a random, unpredictable, and disruptive schedule. The clinical trials are all over the place. Dentist, orthodontist, and driving tests are all in the mix. I’m trying to schedule my own screening exams but it feels like we are always waiting on his schedule which always changes and usurps.

I am just so angry that this is so hard.

I want someone to tell me what to do.

[idkwhatimdoingbutrandom]

You are NOT ALLOWED to be successful by the way!!!! You’re not allowed to be popular on a popular app because that’s not COOL!!!!!!! I find songs by listening to the bugs hum in dirt!!!! IM COOLER THAN YOU!!!! BE MY KIND OF COOL ONLY!!!! POPULAR THINGS ARE FOR LOSERS AND IM A PROFESSIONAL HATER BECAUSE YAY!!!! SUCCESS CAN ONLY BE ON MY TERMS!!!!!!! IF YOU DIDNT BECOME KNOWN BY RANDOM LYRICS ETCHED INTO THE SIDEWALK RIGHT BY AN ABANDONED BUILDING YOURE ILLEGITIMATE!!!!! BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!

Side note: if we (specifically consumers who don’t even create, themselves, and regard art as only a product) keep making dumb rules about art and creation, no one will ever have fun or want to do what they love anymore.

[lizardho]

Being at BYU after my mission was weird. Like. Bad weird. Everybody was still acting like missionaries but they had nobody to teach so it all turned into the holier-than-thou bs that missions always degenerate into over time. Just the forced establishment of some weird social hierarchy where value is based on how devout you are, with people digging and scratching and clawing their way around humanity in order to become even more devout.

And this bullshit was actively killing me. The attempts to stay Good Enough were scraping the remnants of my humanity out of my husk like a spoon scraping the last bits of watermelon from a rind - I was doing what I had always done, be Mormon, do what Mormons do, be as good a Mormon as I could be, only it was breaking me. Instead of healing me, making me whole, taking away my burdens, it was pulling the life out of me in exchange for nothing. I was just being squeezed dry of everything I had to offer and being given back shame and isolation and rejection because I didn’t do it first, or fast enough, or with a willing enough heart, or whatever the hell they could come up with.

But despite myself, because most people smarter than me AND dumber than me would have left already, I found myself trying over and over and over again to make it work with no success.

One day, I snap. I’ve had enough. I need answers. I’ve looked everywhere and done everything I could by myself, and nothing had come of it, so I went to talk to a faculty member. A teacher at the school. He taught religion classes and his lessons were powerfully and inspiringly honest, earnest, and filled with raw humanity. I figured if I could get a straight (ha) answer from anyone, it would be that guy. He wasn’t involved in the Mormon rat race. He wasn’t playing the stupid “I’m Worthier Than You” games that were so pernicious on campus. He was being real and open and vulnerable and I needed that from someone.

So I go into his office and I lay my cards on the table. I figure if I’m gonna get helped, I need to be honest. I share with him my weird feelings about dad leaving the church on my mission. About my siblings leaving the church. About my own doubts and hurts. I tell him about how hard it is to be in limbo like this without knowing what to do or where to turn. I tell him I need answers.

And he listens. And then he starts with the usual Mormon apologetics bullshit. And I say “no” because I’m done with that. That doesn’t fly with me anymore. And he sees and hears me say no and he puts a hand on mine, makes direct eye contact, and says,

“You know, you don’t have to go to church, right?”

I, being a person who was hurting, interpreted that as “if you have questions that I can’t answer you should fuck off.” I got defensive immediately and he again listened, put his hand on mine, and said,

“Not what I meant. You can stay if you want, but I want you to know you can leave too. Take a break. Give yourself time to heal. This isn’t supposed to hurt this much, and if it hurts you can take a break and come back when it feels good.”

I’m actually getting choked up just writing that out. Nobody had ever said that to me before. When I talked about my dysphoria to my parents, they said teenagers are supposed to feel like that a little bit. When I talked to people about my difficulties at church they had always told me that it was a sign that church was working. That I was doing it right. That growth was supposed to hurt, that excising the Natural Man from me was supposed to be difficult, that I was supposed to be feeling this anxious and sad and scared. I had never ever ever been told that pain and suffering were signs things were going wrong. I had actually explicitly been told by many many many many many many many many people that it was good, that the hurt and the heartache and the constant feeling of never being good enough and never being able to fit into my own skin or love myself in any meaningful way was desirable. That it was something they envied.

It’s not supposed to hurt. Some things can, and should. My parents were right that some body concerns were normal (although we later found out my specific concerns were more abnormal lmao, I got that tgirl swag). My family and friends were right that challenging myself with difficult assignments and ambitious goals was supposed to feel uncomfortable.

And at the same time, THIS was not supposed to hurt. I was not meant to have this gaping throbbing aching hole in my Me that never let up. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT.

I don’t know when exactly I started crying, but I was crying the whole rest of the day. It was the first time in a while I had to actually take a Valium to clam down. It wasn’t supposed to hurt.

He also told me that if it ever stopped hurting I could always come back.

I think that was the day I really left. Others might say otherwise, I still tried to make it work for a few more months after that, but the idea that it wasn’t supposed to hurt really changed me.

If any of you are reading this - there are things that are supposed to be difficult. Things that are supposed to hurt. But if your faith or your beliefs about the world or yourself leave you feeling like you’ve been hollowed out at a minor mistake or setback, if your failures and setbacks leave you feeling raw and numb frequently, if the company you keep or the places you stay leave you feeling constantly inadequate with out hope or help, then I’ll tell you the same thing that professor told me:

You can go somewhere else. You can do something else. And you can always come back when you want.

But it’s not supposed to hurt.

[brie-annwyl]

Fic idea things <3

Jason coming back to get revenge and seeing Bruce at his grave, talking to his headstone saying things like “you have a wonderful new brother, his name is Tim. I think you would’ve loved him.” And “Never tell Dick, but you were and probably always will be my favourite, Jay.” And Jason realizes oh fuck, I’m not ready for this emotional moment and I don’t even want revenge anymore. So he just continues to be Red Hood and sticks to crime alley until the Bats (Bruce, Tim, Dick, etc) get kidnapped and he’s like, oh fuck, now I HAVE to deal with this emotional bs.

Bruce just immediately hugging Jason after he finds out his identity. Even if it’s dangerous for him to do so (Jason pointing a gun at him).

Jason’s reason for wanting to kill the Joker having nothing to do with revenge, the reality of the situation is Jason has borderline debilitating insomnia because he’s so terrified he’ll wake up back in that warehouse or the Joker will find him whilst he’s asleep.

Bruce originally not wanting Tim as his new Robin because he reminded him so much of Jason. To the point where he caught himself almost calling him Jason on multiple occasions. That’s why it took so long for them to be close.

Dick accidentally calling Tim - Jason after Jason beats the shit out of him.

Jason and Tim knowing each other before Jason dies. Jason knew Tim’s parents weren’t caring for him properly and wanted Bruce to adopt him but he didn’t get the chance to tell Bruce about Tim when he was alive.

Jason getting dosed in fear toxin and getting hallucinations of Willis whilst the other bats are around.

Bruce getting dosed in fear toxin and hallucinates burying Jason again.

Jason is always freezing bc of the whole dying thing and needs other people to keep warm, but Jason’s a stubborn bitch and it’s the middle of winter.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Astrological observations

♋️ the Sun in cancer, could be a lot more scary than the Sun in Scorpio. They can be a lot more bright and scary can kind of put on this. A lot of people fall for sweet of scoprio don’t fall for real sweetness of ♋️ cancer and underneath their sweet  persona.

Gemini moons and libra moons need to be a bit more honest with their emotions. Stop pretending you’re okay because that water times can see through that BS.

Cancer is one of the most adventurous signs, they say that Sagittarius likes to travel and do new things, but I think cancers do as well if they have a Sagittarius moon it definitely helps

Capricorn are very tight with money. My mum is a Capricorn moon and she will barely even lend me a fiver.

I don’t care what anyone says pisces and Leo are soulmates in the same way that Virgo and Aries are

You know I said that Virgo moon is have a very cool streak. I shared some pictures and guess who is in it Jada Pinkett Smith? She like to humiliate her man and make him feel worthless to be honest. I like her energy and that she doesn’t give a fuck about how men are because she doesn’t have much respect for men. I believe I think she should come out as gay because I feel like she probably is

Leo Mercury, a rude as fuck and say whatever is on their mind and sometimes they need to shut the fuck up

I don’t know what it is, but with Taurus Mercury they have the most soothing voices that I could listen to you for hours. Or mercury in the second house.

Having your Saturn and Aries, he’s obviously in detriment and you probably had a father. He was very violent if he wasn’t violent he was violent towards your mother or an alcoholic or had a very bad temper even if he wasn’t violent.♈️

Having fifth house placement, especially Stellium, make you more arrogant and Leo suns and you can only see your side of a situation

Obviously having Libra in the first house or ascendant, can make you very beautiful, but it’s a classic kind of, I actually think Taurus, cancer and Aquarius rising of the most beautiful

Scorpio dominant people can be terrifying and they’re also very snakelike, especially if it’s Mars or mercury

Aquarius SUN S coming all different shapes and sizes, you will never meet to Aquarius that are the same

Having a water Mars is terrifying for other people, you just come out of nowhere and explode,.

Gemini mercury can either talk your head off or don’t talk at all and just take everything in

Virgo Mercury need something to do it all times of the day whether it be going out into nature, having a list, or having a plan, they’re always on the hustle

[nayatarot777]

messages from deceased loved ones

• pile one •

a lot of your deceased loved ones from far back in your family lineage are coming through. a lot of ancestors who may or may not be remembered by people in the present day. your loved ones who you knew in this lifetime are wanting to let you know how they’ve been united again with those who neither of you knew during your lifetime, and there’s something about them wanting you to remember your roots and your ancestral lineage. it may be quite hidden or unknown, but they’re trying to align something that helps shine a light on the people who came way before you. you have a massive spiritual team thanks to all of these ancestors, and they’re constantly watching over you as your guardians. there’s one main guardian that you have (that you were probably closest to when they were alive) who keeps you protected from people who are looking to use you for something. black cats could be significant to this particular person. perhaps green eyes too. remembering your ancestors will lead you to an awakening. there’s a strong energy of your ancestors having a very significant perspective on life that could benefit you to practice yourself. give offerings to your ancestors in remembrance, if you can. this could be something as simple as burning a tea light candle in commemoration of them. building a connection to your ancestors will push you into this awakening, as they’ll be connected with you enough to give you spiritual downloads at that point. there’s something that they’d like to tell you. and this awakening will add onto your own self-protection and discernment with certain types of people too.

your loved ones are wanting you to remember who you are. not just ancestrally but on a soul level too. to value your authenticity. i feel like they can see that you’re not fully being your true self - because you haven’t remembered who you truly are. they want you to do things FOR YOU. they don’t want you to doubt yourself or your self worth. remember that you are always enough - more than enough. your spiritual guardians are always trying to send you messages about that. for some of you in particular, there’s someone in your life who they’re keeping a close eye on. this person is a straight up toad and your ancestors can see this already. that’s why they’re trying to give you signs about holding onto your self worth, because without it, you’ll fall for this toad and their bs. they’re trying to show you that this person isn’t good enough for you. the way that your awakening can come about is when you allow yourself to have a tower moment. internally. to allow the foundation of your false identity to fall and break down. unplug from other people. relax. do some soul searching for what you find worthy for yourself instead of searching for another person to make you feel worthy. they can’t do that for you since it’s your responsibility. that’s what your deceased loved ones would like to tell you.

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• pile two •

they’d like for you to be a lot more outspoken and speak up for yourself. to say exactly what you mean and not allow yourself to be silenced or swayed by what other people say. they’re around you whenever you have to say something that may be difficult for you to vocalise, on guard in case someone tries to react in a negative way that would affect you. they’re helping you to filter through people’s words and the intentions behind them. this will help you to avoid being manipulated. they’re also asking you to speak to them. to say whatever you want to or needed to when they were alive. they’re still able to hear you. they want you to do this as a step towards letting them go. they feel like you’re holding onto them energetically in somewhat of a negative way. they understand this completely, but they want you to practice grieving and mourning them as a way of moving stagnant energy within your emotional space.

they don’t want you to cling onto them energetically anymore - at least not in the way that you have - because it’s not serving you. it’s holding you back in life and they want you to move forward. you can’t unless you allow yourself to mourn them in it’s entirety and to let them peacefully rest. this will be a gradual and slow process of course, but they want you to start it. they want you to begin healing from their death. they’re really emphasising that you haven’t lost them. you’ve lost their physical form as you know it, but you haven’t lost them spiritually and energetically. remember the law of physics: energy can’t be created or destroyed - only transmuted from one form of energy to another. that means that they can never leave this universe that they exist in. just like the rest of us. our bodies’ energy is transmuted into other material on this physical plane, but our consciousness and our essence is always in existence. letting go of how you knew them in their physical form isn’t losing them spiritually. they’ll still be there. it’s time for healing now. use your awareness of physics and energy to heal you during your grieving process. study the laws of energy if you have to. you’ll realise that what made them who they were (their consciousness and their soul) isn’t gone. they just exist in a different dimension of existence now. a dimension that your physical eyes aren’t aware of but one that your spiritual eyes can see.

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• pile three •

they’re wanting you to take positive action towards the things that you have ambition and inspiration for. they can see that you’re in a vulnerable position right now. it’s like you’re waving a red flag as a sign of needing help - and they’re willing to orchestrate things behind the scenes and provide you what you need. but they can only help you in the spirit realm if you take physical action in the material realm towards what you need. you have to pave the road for them to put blessings and opportunities onto it. there’s a lot of anger that they can see that you have. anger that can be an ingredient to use for transmutation into physical action and motivation. your anger can direct you if you learn how to alchemise it and use it to your benefit. don’t suppress it. embrace it and let it be a compass towards what you need to do and where you need to go for your highest good. i’m hearing them say that anger isn’t ‘bad’. anger is perceived as ‘bad’ by the people who benefit from you not defending yourself. not letting yourself show emotionally that you did/didn’t deserve something and you know it. don’t let them suppress you like that.

there’s advice from your loved ones in the spiritual realm to look beyond the horizons that you feel bound by in your life currently. try to see as far into the future as you can and project a positive view and outlook towards it. even if you feel lost at sea with no idea of where you’re going. pinpoint your consciousness to the ideal of a future that makes you feel true and genuine happiness as a destination point. and pair that with physical action that you’re capable of taking in your present moment. don’t worry about how you’ll get to the destination that you’ve set. pave the road, listen to your transmuted anger that turns into motivation and drive, and follow it. this is the way that your deceased loved one(s) can help course correct your life onto the path that’ll cause you to reach your desired objective.

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[twoa-plus]

it’s 2:00am and this is more of a character thing than a genuine theory but *claps hands for the drama* same coin theory. what if both of the stans are bill

or like. a parallel to him. like i said this isn’t a super serious theory i’m mostly just back on my character analysis bs lol

so i haven’t gotten to talk abt this much but i am a firm believer in that there is not a superior stan. from a personality perspective this is obviously entirely subjective, but i mean that there isn’t a superior one when it comes to their objective traits and how useful they are

ford is. ford. i don’t really have to say anything here he’s super smart can play the piano or whatever etc etc. however one thing that i will say that i think is important here is that i am like. 99% sure this man has a higher tolerance to The Horrors than other humans do. dude spent 30 years in that portal and came out pretty much the same level of crazy, and we all saw what happened to fiddleford. i know fidds saw bill take off his exoskeleton or whatever but u can’t convince me that ford traveled the multiverse - with all sorts of monsters and non-3d dimensions and god knows what else - for 3 decades and didn’t see some shit that would make anybody else lose it. like at this point u could tell me this guy could have a casual conversation over tea with cthulu and be fine and i’d believe u

as for stan - and i mean this in the absolute best way possible i love this guy - he’s like the world’s most charismatic cockroach. he’s fantastic with people and just straight up refuses to die. for the first point i don’t just mean this in the conman way, when it comes to the people that actually matter stan always manages to win them over in some way or another (soos, wendy, the kids, ford, etc) and one does not simply survive for a decade on the street without needing the occasional favor from someone who actually likes you. “oh but rico-“ man when u’ve been living as a homeless criminal for a decade and the list of people that want to kill u consists of 1 person and the government u’ve done pretty damn well. anyways as for the cockroach point, he’s alive and has his memories. i don’t even have to say much here stan went through all of That, lived through the series itself including The Literal Apocalypse, metaphorically (something something people are just a collage of their life experiences) died at the end of it all and then came back to life. that’s hardcore as hell man. in a less literal interpretation of the “refusing to die” bit, he’s also just. insanely determined. the biggest example is ofc him never graduating highschool and yet teaching himself god knows how much math and science and whatnot over the course of 30 damn years because he just refuses to believe that he can’t save his brother. stan pines is a force of nature i swear

[additional note while im already ranting about this guy, im not a personal believer in the “stan is just as (academically) smart as ford” theory. first of all i feel like this entire theory is kind of rooted in the idea that he has to be/be on the same level as “the smart one” to have value, which is an idea that the stans’ entire backstory is based around criticizing, and i think stan has something just as if not more valuable than freakish intelligence - raw fucking grit. he wasn’t the one to open the portal back up because of some intellectual advantage, he was the one to open the portal back up because he wanted to, god damn it, and best of luck to you if you’re gonna try and stop him.]

anyways as for the same coin thing, everybody knows the stan part. his casual references to the impending apocalypse, “you’ve been buying gold, right?”, him being such a good conman, etc etc. while i’m already ranting about stan’s determination, bill’s got that too - he’s been trying for like thousands of years to take over the world and he just Won’t Stop. point is there’s a lot of character traits they share

(i know in the original same coin post a pretty major point is stan not making a deal with bill, but i think that could probably be pretty easily explained without the need for divine intervention. the only times bill makes a deal with someone without them summoning him first is after he’s kind of left on a loose end with gideon, and everyone knows stan wouldn’t fall for his lies in the first place)

bill also shares a lot of traits with ford, though. both have some kind of physical anomaly (bill’s eye & ford’s hands), both can see/understand things others of their species can’t, they’re both egomaniacs (listen i love ford but the guy has issues), etc. u could even argue that, at least at the time they meet, they have some kind of connection through their loneliness

so. with the theory of “bill was reincarnated to make up for what he did,” what if it wasn’t just stan? what if he was split in two, and his “reincarnation” is both of them? they’re flawed enough to make it a lot harder for either of them to take over the world (ford’s lack of social skills & stan’s lack of freakish academic knowledge), and they have something bill doesn’t - each other.

bill is alone. that’s his whole problem. he killed everyone he loved, treats everyone new he meets like shit, and now he’s Like That. throughout it all, the one thing the stans have always had - even if it was just in their memory - is each other. “oh but ford-“ shhhh. shhshhshshshhsh. shut up. ford has Problems but i genuinely don’t think he ever stopped loving stan. love is weird, first of all, and secondly he clearly never stopped trusting him. no matter what he might say about stan being a liar or a conman or whatever, who’s the one person he goes to when he’s forced to admit he needs help? ford is a weird guy and has an… odd way of showing it but he loves his family just like the rest of the pines and i will die on this hill

i’ve been writing this for over an hour straight and i think my brain is melting but i’m sure at this point u get the idea. both of the stans, together, serve as a parallel to bill, and the one thing they have that he doesn’t is love. that’s what killed him.

something something killing an interdimensional dream demon with the power of friendship and this gun i found

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

Hi Eli

It’s not a success story but I just needed to to get this out of my system (and pls I’m not trauma dumping on you 🥲)

So I know bout the law and I do believe in it, I’ve manifested a lot of things actually from big to small but the problem comes when I want to manifest my dream life, the life I believe I was meant to live..

Every time I tried to brush it off and pretend like ooh it’s too unattainable and I can’t be there and stuff like that I always come back to somehow ,so that’s why I believe I was meant to live it.

I’m raised in a religious family (not too religious but kinda,not the crazy ones) Islamic teaching u know?. So every time I affirm I’m living my dream life,I’m limitless and I have everything I want because I say so,I feel good and stuff but… when I go on TikTok or any social media and then the teachings comes,I feel so guilty and like a sinner and all the giddiness ends and I feel so down.

Listen I love my religion,but it makes me sad when I think about what if I’m actually sinning and god is going to be mad at me,because we don’t have power of our own but god’s will.

I do really want to manifest my dream life,and when I think about it even more I say maybe god doesn’t want me have this life, many I’m meant for something else but I don’t see anything else,I just see that life(the life I’m talking about is high life,lights,cameras,paparazzi everywhere,yk!)

But then I think if I wasn’t meant for it why have I always had this feel ever since I was a kid? And why did I find about the law?

I’m really in dilemma, I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so guilty 😭

P.s I don’t even bit think that my dream life is unattainable,it’s just the guilty I feel every time I think about, gif is watching me and he’s judging me for this, maybe I should quit and quickly live my normal boring hella of peasant life “ I think”but I can’t, something inside me refuses to settle for this😭

I would kindly appreciate your advice cos ur the only Muslim loas blogger I know, love you

Hope it’s not too much🥹

Xoxo 💋

Hello cutie!

Well i'm here to tell you that i've been in the same situation as you, but i had a long thought about it.

Let's think for a second: do you think god let us discover this for a reason? And you only? If you're about to tell it to your siblings or your parents i know that they'll refuse or doesn't even believe you or go in a rampage of how it is sinning and you don't have to believe what the internet is saying.

Okay i'm about to tell you my story:

When the lockdown of COVID happened (i was 12 at that time), i came across a subliminal called "get green eyes in 10 minutes" so i was like "no freaking way! That total bs! They're just lying" so i went to watch other videos on YouTube and completely forgot about it, but for the next few days, the video kept popping up so what i did is check the comments and see if this video is telling the truth or not, so when i went to check the comments i found people be like "oh yeah my eyes got brighter after few days of listening" etc (you know the drill).

If you want to be so sure that what you're doing is right and not sinsful just pray and ask god to give you a sign that manifesting your dream life is good (halal) or bad.

And look even if it wasn't good why did god made us consciousness? To be able to induce our purest form and even shift to other realities? And even manifest the craziest things.

And there was this question in my head "why god didn't mention it in Quran?" But i made the theory that maybe he didn't want to because he knows that some people no, the majority of them would use it for bad, would like to dominate the World and even do harm than good or even don't believe in god anymore since they'll discover that they're powerful and can do incredible things.

You know? I Always had this feeling since i was kid that i was special, and i think that why god choose me to know it, to know this treasure that is hidden from anyone else, the ultimate cheat code to life.

So yeah don't feel alone, i understand how you feel, but like now, knowing the Law is like a bless from god, it's like a gift.

Many people would kill to know this information, to know the cheat code to life.

So my advice is to not give up or think it is a sinner to manifest your dream life.

God made you discover it for a reason, and he knows why.

So go crazy! Manifest any desires your heart want! Even the most unrealistic ones!

I Hope my response pleased you and motivated you!

Xoxo, Eli

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

the bear sydcarmy thoughts (season 3 spoilers)

I have never felt so dead inside and empty. I ended the season literally burning up. Perhaps I got my hopes up too much which wasn’t a lot tbh. I expected with sydcarmy the s3 ender was gonna be like a fight because of a reveal of her opportunity and maybe maybe a realization of feelings. But wow not that at all, in fact there was nothing really resolved.

I was expecting the angst and to be pissed off at Camry but but we’ve never been so immeasurably down and I have to say I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy now.

What I notice is these two really took a nosedive this season. We went so downhill. In prior seasons we can usually expect by the end for some resolution to happen between the two, syd comes back, or we get like the lovely table scene. This season it’s like they got progressively farther and father apart.

We started off so strong with the EMP scene. Like I couldn’t fucking believe we actually got that scene, i shot up out of my seat it was so surreal.

And then as we continue to go, there’s barely any moments between the two together. And when there is, they’re always cut short. And you’re kind of just left short, wanting more. And i guess that was on purpose to show them so out of sync and their biggest weakness, communication. They really became just two coworkers, so unfamiliar with each other. And I was truly hoping we’d get something from the Ever scenes but no carmy is just so isolated.

And again I guess that’s the point. Carmy is so in his head, so haunted by Claire and David, so focused on the restaurant that he’s not trying at all to form a connection with syd (platonic nor romantic). He’s so focused on his past and carrying the weight of things left unsaid that as the al anon meeting says, it just digs deeper and deeper with him. Because he never bothers to resolve his issues, go to therapy and apologize to Claire.

So here’s the thing about Claire. It’s obvious he needed to resolve what happened with her. But what was really jarring to me was the amount of Claire scenes we got. In season 2 Claire is depicted as a distraction, there is always this constant clock running in the background with her. Carmy doesn’t even know exactly what Claire is to him, “a girl that’s a friend or a girlfriend.” Their relationship is so surface level. And then we start getting these s3 scenes and it feels like they’re retconning their relationship because this isn’t the claire and carmy from season 2. And if they were so great together why wouldn’t you show us then! Where are all these scenes coming from. But okay let’s say storer did hear people’s complaints and chose to give more to clairecarmy, then I feel so horribly fucked as a sydcarmy shipper cause why would you give us such obvious editing and juxtaposition between Sydney and Claire in s2 and turn around and do this. It feels like a betrayal. And worse of all the whole “Claire is your peace” THATS NOT WHAT THE PANIC ATTACK SCENE SAID IN S2, syd is the one who calmed him down. And despite seeing all these clairecarmy scenes they cannot measure up to the substance, the complexity of sydcarmy. And worse of all they didn’t even resolve the clairecarmy bs. And if they’ve spent so much time shoving these two in our face and I meant to believe those two are endgame, that they are meant to be together. god I’m gonna throw up, I feel so played.

But then my hope, perhaps my delusional is the EMP meal scene. It tells me that there will always be this invisible string between sydcarmy and as Chris storer said himself it’s about “finding the right people when you’re supposed to find them.”

Syd is right at the end of episode 1, is it supposed to indicate she is the endgame.

What worries me though is if they take this in a platonic direction, the platonic soulmates bs and continue on with clairecarmy.

So anyway back on carmy, and him keeping everything in and avoiding his problems. That is the reason why this season is so angsty. Carmy regresses severely and he is so lonely, you really feel it at the end of the season as everyone shares their story and he is too focused on David to connect with anyone. And then when he finally confronts David, he realizes nothing he says to this man matters. His words don’t mean shit. And it feels especially poignant because he’s been holding onto this for years, all this anger and hatred. He even follows in David’s footsteps with his own restaurant: “the greatest mistake is working for a bad boss, what it unlocks in you is the culture that you choose to create.” And they juxtapose David with Claire. And again is this the clairecarmy agenda being pushed. Or I also see it as him finally having confronted David, he now needs to resolve whatever the fuck he needs to with Claire.

Okay so onto Terry. Terry says: “i got to do all the things i wanted to do the way i wanted to do with the people i wanted to do it with.” And this is the thing carmy has to strive for, to create that good culture again. To make connections again. I mean correct me if I’m wrong but the only person he really connects with is Marcus (his actual mentee) he doesn’t really talk to Sydney, doesn’t resolve anything with Richie, I think he doesn’t even really talk to Sugar. And I’m realizing now, throughout the season there were so many people connecting with different people (off the top of my head: Marcus and Tina, Tina and Nat, Nat and Richie, Richie and Sydney, Sydney and Marcus). There’s so many more and different duos going on, and carmys barely a part of any of it. And then with Sydney’s party, while everyone’s celebrating and carmys just on his own.

We really emphasize his loneliness. There’s also the Sydney and Luca conversation about siblings, and then Sydney’s loneliness and her experiencing everything on her own and being used to dealing with things on her alone. And we see that in her panic attack scene, and she has no anchor (as someone else pointed out), no one there to comfort her. And it ending on this loneliness that follows both sydney and carmy around and that’s another thing that ties them together.

I don’t really know how to end this. I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy right now, what the show is trying to tell me. Should I have faith in their invisible string, in them being tied together by loneliness. I understand this was the angst season and carmy really regressed, and he was focused on David and Claire. Is this season pivoting and telling me clairecarmy are endgame, or is it carmy being haunted by the still unresolved things between them? I can accept the added romance to their relationship, I mean she is his first real gf, there has to be good there. Does this necessarily mean their endgame or is she just a stepping stone, a first gf someone he is meant to learn lessons from, to then have his endgame with Sydney? (I think of new girl and the various good relationships nick and jess went through before getting endgame.)

THEY COULDNT RESOLVE ONE FUCKING THING!

And then the “to be continued” sign. Is this what people felt when they watched Across the Spiderverse, but like we were actually building towards something there. All I’m left with is dread with the bear.

Lastly I am so conflicted by this partnership. I have no idea what I want syd to choose. There will be a big show of loyalty if Sydney chooses to stick with carmy, I mean I also have to respect the loyalty in her also choosing the crew, her family (like Marcus and Tina and Nat). But we also see how far Sydney and carmy drifted from each other and we see the loss of their collocation and their synchronization. The way Carmy rebuffs all her suggestions. So im like “yeah fuck carmy, go off on your own syd.” And if she were to choose to stay that would be such a big sign of something more to me because now she’s choosing to believe in his potential, which is a big fucking deal.

But then I also think about the growth carmy experienced from learning at all these places. And how Sydney deserves that too. And also carmys speech about the chefs and learning from each other and branching out on their own. And maybe it’s that too, Sydney spreading her wings. But then no, I’m selfishly like no I don’t want her to leave.

But then maybe it’s meant to show growth in carmy, he was the one who left before. Now he has to trust in syd to leave and come back again. Idk.

Or yeah maybe syd just deserves to fuck off, become successful and fuck over this man.

I also think about that one twt post where the bear is about “Carmy falling in love with Sydney. And Sydney falling out with carmy” and god that would fuck me up so bad.

Am I meant to hold out hope, like this is rock bottom and there’s only up from here. Or is this them extinguishing the fire of sydcarmy for us? I understand we always have fan fiction and canons not everything, but the way camry and Sydney’s relationship, even platonically, was handled this season left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Idk where I’m going with this. I don’t even know how I feel about sydcarmy anymore, I want to read a fic to soothe me but I don’t even think carmy deserves to be happy with Sydney right now. Idk let me know your thoughts, maybe my fellow sydcarmys can pull me out.

Also if there’s a discord I would love to join because I don’t think I can deal with this on my own right now 😭.

[majaloveschris]

"he does all this because she is the one and he is so in love" /////

I believe everyone needs to realize if the above were true then there’d be no debate as to if this is a real or PR relationship.

The simple fact that so much comes out about them to drive or paint a narrative, only for Chris to be the complete opposite physically of how he expresses things ……says enough.

People can call us delusional for not believing this relationship, but I call those who blindly believe what’s purposefully crafted for you to believe gullible and delusional ….to think that this man who has been in the spotlight for 20+ yrs, whose expressed his emotions freely, who stated what he wanted in a relationship in the SMA article only to go public with the complete opposite two days later. To think he’s done a 180 in the worst way due to “being in love”…..nah, I’m not buying what’s being sold.

One has to ask themselves why are all these articles trying to paint him and her as so in love, yet REALITY based on their own body language and expressions show you the complete opposite?!

Show me ONE pic or video shot of them not aware they are being filmed acting or looking so “in love”.

(Oops that already happened …..in the park when he put his hand in his pocket as she reached for it.)

Even the purposefully crafted Valentine’s Day montage and the scare videos seemed fake and staged, every new update the past few months just adds to the speculation that this is bs based on their own actions.

What couple so in love acts like they don’t know or like each other like that. People claim we get a glimpse in their lives, but it’s been two freaking years of bs, regardless of not knowing their every move every single day, we can clearly see something isn’t genuine.

Even after the marriage confirmation from this man’s own mouth, it STILL doesn’t add up based on HIS own actions/inactions.

If Chris was genuinely happy and in love……we’d clearly see it, not have to “read” about it.

I agree with you! I think it's important to note that this whole "PR or real" debate started because of them. It started with them kind of alluding that something is going on with different things (NYE 1.0., LV, the follows and likes) while not admitting they are "together" and then continued with the NYC pap walk 1.0. As you said, if from the very beginning we'd seen how happy and in love he is, Team PR probably wouldn't even exist. I'm not saying there wouldn't be people out there who believe it's PR, but not this amount, for sure.

I agree that his body language is always off and weird around her, like he isn't comfortable or like he is forced to be there. And considering the things you've mentioned, everything seems so fake and manufactured. We saw him being out with his girlfriends for years, and I'm not saying they were always smiley and all over each other, but there were clear moments where you could see they were in love, but there isn't a single one with Alba.

I don't blame people who think this is real. Most people just don't care enough about them or simply think whatever they say must be true. I think there are people on both sides who are "delusional" (I don't really like using this word though), believing and creating things that are clearly bullshit, or thinking that everything that happens proves a point.

It's truly weird to see the contrast between the articles and their body language. They are supposed to be "the one" for each other, yet they behave more intimately with their friends and seem to be more comfortable and natural around them. His body language and behavior should be the three times of everything we saw from his previous relationship since he is "head over heels" for her, but where is that huge love? I don't see it.

I think the NYC Pap Walk 1.0. video you mentioned was a big turning point. I mean, that pap walk was awful, but seeing how tragic it was behind the scenes was really interesting. He clearly didn't want to hold her hands, and to this day, they always walk next to each other as if they were just fighting a few minutes before.

The VD day dump didn't help either. Everything just feels so unnatural, fabricated, and out of character for him. I know we don't know him, but we saw how he acted in this previous relationship, and maybe if I saw that huge love we are supposed to see, I would believe he's changed his habits, but I see the exact opposite. And the wedding story has a lot of plot holes too.

The words, spoken and written, just don't match the body language.

[disciplinedselfrya]

Music

I think one of the most underrated topics when it comes to self-improvement is music. I mean it. No one really talks about it. And not in the “listen to classical/jazz music, go to the opera, become a cultured individual” way. In the “stop listening to music all the time” way.

And before jumping at conclusions, hear me out.

I am and I’ve always been a fan of music. I don’t have a type - I listen to everything that I like. I had so many phases - Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, kpop, depressive music (let’s keep it a secret ok). You name it, I’ve been there.

For about two years, I listened to music nonstop. Not in the “music is my life” way, but in the “let’s open spotify while I’m getting dressed up” kind of way. I was listening to music in the morning, after I woke up. I was listening while I was doing homework, while I was getting ready, while I was eating. All the time. And I liked it - it’s not like I was scrolling, right?

I only noticed everything two weeks ago, when I was in an awful mental state. I was feeling like the pressure was too much, like the world was too much. I couldn’t hear my thoughts. Why? Partly because of the music that I was listening to.

Music blocks the outside noise. It is an escaping mechanism, much like social media or watching series. It makes you numb, or happy, or sad, according to the lyrics and the beat. In the end, music is content.

Let’s get back to the story. After that, I decided to search about the effect music (with lyrics, especially) has on people, and here, loves, is what I discovered:

Dopamine Desensitization: Excessive listening to highly stimulating music can lead to dopamine over-release, causing temporary pleasure desensitization, where one needs more intense stimuli to feel pleasure. Eventually, you may find it harder to feel good without intense music. Over time, this can feel almost addictive.

Dependency on Music: As many people do (and I am no exception), you might be tempted to use music as a coping mechanism, a way to escape the reality or regulate your stress levels. Over the time, though, this dependency may hinder emotional self-regulation and negatively impact your mental resilience.

False Cure for Loneliness: Listening to music is often perceived as a “cure” for loneliness. You’ve probably experienced it. Songs are relatable - they talk about love, family, trauma and all that - and this the reason for the overconsumption. And loneliness, as we know, is the no. 1 cause of depression and mental illnesses. The thing is, which I hope you are aware of, the only cure for loneliness is meeting other people, socializing. Music makes you think everything is getting better. Well, no. Everything is getting worse.

Mood Manipulation: As well as music boosts your mood…it can always take it down. Let’s say you got a bad grade. You listen to depressive music. It feels good for a moment, right? Your feelings are validated. But then the trauma and the mommy issues come to light and that bad grade leads a feeling tsunami. Music won’t let you live in the present. Wake up, love.

Internalizing Negative Messages: As a note to no. 4, humans tend to mimic everything they see and understand. So when a song is telling you that no one will miss you when you’re gone or some other bs, you believe it, huh? Because you are human. You’ve heard of the subconscious mind - find some other posts about it and read (I don’t have any, but there are plenty on tumblr - you can even find articles so dive in).

Overstimulation. Your brain is fried. Why, love, why? You need music 24/7? No, what you need is a walk in the nature and a therapy session, not living in a world inside of your head. When you can’t hear your thoughts and all you can hear are the lyrics…it’s time to stop. Please.

Note: by any means, I am not telling you to quit listening to music. What I want you to understand is that you have to live the present and be aware of your own feelings, without being influences by the break-up song of whatever singer. What I did after I noticed all this: I switched to classical music. It rebuilt my focus, it helps me stay calm and relieve stress and I don’t have to deal with the drama. Now, feel free to choose your own path. Or even keep listening to music if you think you can manage it - but stay present. I’m telling you once again.

I hope this helps! Rya

[rouge-fauna]

It is really sad honestly, and I've had similar things happen to myself too with many many friendship falling outs. Both cc discduo believe the other has manipulated, been dishonest and faked their friendship. Dream has understandable valid reasons to believe this, tommy seems to believe it due to influence from his fans and friends and because he misinterpreted Dreams dms to him as manipulative because the dms are emotional. And in general many people tend to see emotional = manipulative. Like how people view "am i annoying you" msgs as manipulative. I do not at all believe that their entire friendship was a lie, and I dont believe they were never close and were just coworkers, based on their past intereactions and based on how upset Dream is, he clearly cared otherwise he wouldnt be sending those messages and getting upset on stream about it. People think he's obsessed with tommy for saying tommy has a good heart, but this is how you speak about an ex-friend, its not obsessive. Its sad. On top of that all the shit dream has had to cop with and tommy only making it worse. That said, I don't think tommy faked the friendship because tommy did defend dream a lot post-allegations from his own friends and fans, and checked up on him regularly but I do think its fucked now that tommy is acting like this , playing victim, feeding into his fanbases bs. Its clear to me that tommy genuinely thinks dream wronged him, but at the same time tommy is doing this to get more popularity. Another thing is when dream said that if it werent for the fanbases, then he and tommy might have been okay, I completely agree with that too, I've noticed since the start that the fandom has constantly torn into discduos friendship, analyizing every little detail to the point where it was straining their dynamic. Anyway...

those stats for prison arc damnn I had no idea ctommy did allthat, and the fact he killed the cat. I get why you would not watch exile arc rn, I've had to stop my whole dsmp rewatch plans cause of this, might return to it in 4 months

[context]

I’m not so sure if it was the fandom that turned Tommy against Dream or perhaps Tommy grew up and realized he needed to stand up for himself. Do I think Dream is this big evil manipulator? No, I think whatever Dream did he wasn’t aware of how he was coming across - like Tubbo talked about in his stream about how the majority of the content creators thought he was taking credit for their success when that wasn’t true. But just because someone doesn’t mean to hurt someone or come across a certain way doesn’t mean that they didn’t and that the other person’s feelings are invalid. Additionally, I think you can be hurt by something in retrospect without that other person being a shit person or whatever. For example, in retrospect after my first kiss I realized how uncomfortable and such I felt and how I felt violated afterwards, but here’s the thing, that doesn’t make the guy who kissed me a bad guy. He asked for consent and I gave it, in the moment I didn’t know what I was feeling till afterwards and afterwards I felt violated and manipulated into it. But I still don’t think he really meant to do that or that he is this shitty terrible guy, just because I feel this way after the fact. You can feel things even if they don’t make sense. So I think perhaps Tommy does feel a certain way in his retrospect and as he gets older feels like Dream wronged him and stuff, but the things is feelings don’t make something true. Feelings are always valid yes- but they are not truth. In fact, in the theme of comparing c! to cc!s, I think this is one of c!Tommy’s big character flaws. That he turns his feelings into truth. He felt like no one visited him in exile therefore no one visited him. Which obviously isn’t true. So perhaps this is a flaw within cc!Tommy too that he mistakes emotions for truth so because he feels wronged by Dream that makes Dream a wrong’un. Which is a very scuffed way to view things especially when you take your younger self’s view at face value. Because here’s the thing, when you are younger you have such limited experiences to look and view the world and you often make connections and opinions and observations you take into adulthood based on this limited experience. So perhaps Tommy was hurt by Dream but that doesn’t make Dream bad, clearly he was just being a good friend and helping him….

Yea I was pretty surprised. Like that’s only the things we see too, who knows how much theoretical stuff happened in those other weeks of them being stuck together. Like we literally see Tommy hit Dream more times on stream than we do Quackity. And Quackity is supposed to be the torturer, mind you of course, Quackity was hitting Dream with swords and shears and lots of it happened off camera, still… I found that interesting…

[solarwynd]

Tbh I don't even care / dislike boycott armys. If you don't want to spend money on BTS because they haven't spoken about Palestine, that's your perogative. Because they're enlisted, that does make a difference for me - maybe others find it an excuse but as someone who doesn't live in a liberal western country myself, I know how things like this work in my country and how vulnerable you can be in this situation, so I don't know how it works in s korea but still I'm giving them some leeway. Also there's just this weird disconnect for me because on one side yeah they're millionaires with a huge platform, on the other side they're currently in the mfing army right now. It feels foul to start tweeting about their privilege from the comfort of my bed in my home - something they currently do not experience. That's just my opinion. Someone else might perceive them to have more power than I do and maybe they're right. I won't say mine is the only right way to think. Plus again it's your money - if you donate more and spend less on merch then that's still a net good imo.

But the whole tone of people remarking on this donation has been completely gross. The way they talk about a genocide the same way they talk about the stupid fanwars that happen on twt everyday rather than with the weight it deserves makes me feel like this is some performative bs. Tweets like the ones some armys and kpop stans make just degrades the whole movement.

If you do have genuine intentions and start making stupid tweets like that, you should really touch some grass, log off twitter and do some more actual activism offline instead of letting twitter brain worms consume you. Acting like everyone's misconstruing what you said and playing victim is also not the move. This is a serious topic so I'd expect tweets related to this to have some actual thought behind it instead of spewing some idiocy as a gotcha because again it looks like you're treating this whole issue like some fandom war and trying to one-up the other side. Click-clack my ass.

Armys always come at BTS crazy during times like this and it’s not because it’s “necessary” since you want them to speak up. It all just comes off as sanctimonious and BTS ruining the perception armys have built around them as stans of them being a bit more conscientious than other k groups. I’ve never had an issue with boycotting in theory it’s just that armys can’t stand behind shit or just go about it the wrong way.

Why is it the minute they don’t perform to your exact standards, all of a sudden they’re low down and evil?Why couldn’t y’all have used Jimin donating as a beacon to rally fans to open a pool or something? And I try not to go tit for tat on things like this, but it’s extremely hard not to when you see proof of all these armys happily buying and streaming golden from last year and have been the main ones making these posts about jimin’s donation.

Nothing has changed from that time to present day. Same with the kpop stans trying to join in on it stanning groups who haven’t said a word either. How do you expect me not to believe y’all don’t have ulterior motives by singling him or BTS out? Now all those accounts have deleted those tweets cause they’ve gotten called out on their hypocrisy and got caught up in how dumb they look getting Jimin dragged over something so harmless. Cause it’s not like he gave money to something inane or inconsequential. He’s helping underprivileged children. Just real dickheaded behavior from that person.

Now considering how a member has close ties with scooter, making a statement would come off as hypocritical. I know in the grander scheme of things, what’s needed and what’s important is the awareness and I’d take it as such. But denouncing Zionism with a Zionist so avidly in the mix still wouldn’t be a good look. Which is why I feel like donating would have been the better option. It’d be much more substantial helping out with funds/materials imo because those are things Palestinians desperately need. But I understand that it’s not on the table since they’re in the military.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Random anon here, we’ll to those who are mad at Chris, let me ask you all, what should he have done?

It’s easy to say not gotten into This mess, duh, but he’s in it and deep in it.

It’s easy on the outside looking in to say just leave but umm like the marketing anon stated….it’s a business and one thing you don’t fuck with is people’s money especially those with more power and influence than you.

See I’m not making any excuses for Chris but I see people ragging on him but never stopping to realize we don’t have the full scope of this, huge missing pieces are left out and many are inserting their opinions and speculation as facts.

Be mad sure, but had Chris said no who’s to say this man wouldn’t have ended up blacklisted, lost everything he’s worked for etc. also he’s human and the pandemic scared at lot of people, even Scott stated Chris was worried about money during a podcast in 2020, Scott laughed but I never forgot that. Pr is easy money I’m sure. Things start out looking simple and then go left, again it’s easy to say well he would have said no, at least he’d had his integrity and morals, okay…..but if he ends up on a where are they now and homeless, severe drug addiction or mental issues due to losing everything then what.

My point is we don’t know shit and it’s easy to act like we do. Chris isn’t an idiot so I assume there’s more to this and he’s stuck because no way in hell things would be playing out the way they have nor would he be looking like a shell of his former self if he had power to end this or if this were real.

He’s human, be mad but don’t act like you haven’t ever fucked up in life either. I hate the high and mighty bullshit posts from people over shit you have no knowledge of.

Hollywood is a fucked up place and let me drop a bomb on you all, majority of the shit people sit online discussing is purposely created to keep people engaged from random headlines to bs from tv shows, news stories, movies, celeb drama, we’re all entangled in the web.

Example: Marketing is creating a story about two celebs fighting or dating and in reality the celebs never met but the rumor is now out there and they test to see the reactions.

Many feel Chris image is fake due to this mess but was it? I’m sure he would have revealed himself years before this mess if this was who he truly is.

Use your brains people, don’t fall for bullshit and don’t waste time fussing and cursing Chris everyday because you think this is some simple PR stunt he chose to do or that he’s actually with her.

Truth always come to light so don’t take anything personal and sit back and just watch until it all explodes. Lies can only last so long. 💅

An🫶n, you make an excellent point. And I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Chris may be a celebrity, but he's also a guy who needs to keep money flowing in order to live.

A big possibility, purely speculation, but the PR contract must have been tied to a lot of money. Money that post pandemic, he definitely needs. So, he's selling this, failing, but selling to get the check. And as shallow as that is, he definitely needs the money like any other grown up with bills.

So, let's cut Chris a little slack. And let's not wish him harm, because I heard from the grapevine that someone in the Fandom has wished him harm.

Not naming names. But that's fucked up, and you're no better than the people on the other side, whoever you are.

As for the fans that only want the best for Chris, let's ride the waves, hang in there, and continue to call 'em out! Or ignore certain tantrum-like antics. Whatever the occasion calls for 😌

[kindatired]

Genshin Impact: First Impression

I know, "You just NOW getting into Genshin after four years?'

Well, I didn't want to play on my phone so I waited to buy a laptop. I did bought a MacBook for school but then I found out that even though this game runs on IOS it doesn't run on MacOS...

(I should've known since the game isn't on the Switch...

Why most of the games I want to play isn't playable on the devices I have- Anyways back to the point.

I just finish Mondstadt in Genshin and so far I really like the story which makes me excited for what they have in store in Liyue. So this is all my thoughts about the first Archon quest, all in one go.

This chapter was a nice introduction to the world of Tevyat and I like how we already have to worry about two antagonistic groups (The fatui and Abyss Order)

Matter of fact let me list down how I think of each character:

The traveler:

I wish they have more character to them especially during the cutscenes. Despite being the protagonist I feel like they’re just in the backseat most of the time with the exception of them needing to action scenes. (Due to this my version of the traveler is that they're snarky but their heart is in the right place.) But I like how they showed us what the other sibling is doing because most stories they will have it a mystery right before the final arc

Paimon:

She’s cute but also WHERE IS HER PARENTS? At the start, she said that she was saved from drowning and I was like “Who was watching you?? Do you have any friends or anything?” I truly believe she will be a plot point in the story considering she can float around and have a space aesthetic to her

Venti:

I really like how mysterious he was at the start of the story and then later we see how much of a doofus he is. (Not saying he's dumb but carefree) Despite not wanting to be a ruling god, he still cares for his city in his own way. I don’t know why but if you mix Pit and Palutena together and then boom there’s Venti.

Amber:

I love her design so much. It's simple yet effective especially with the red bow. I feel like the team knew this too which is why she comes with her own plushie which is so freaking cute! Her character quests is fun too when she taught us to get our own glider's license. I don't know why but she gives the first classmate you befriend in class energy (Probably because she is the first person beside Paimon that we met in the game)

Kaeya:

I’m down bad I like how he has a laidback personality yet he’s always behind the scenes. Despite the front he puts up, you know he’s doing something else. Kind of wish we get to see more of him but I’m satisfied with what we got

Lisa:

At first I thought she was going to be a flirt she kinda is But I found it funny how she’s has a “I don’t have time with this bs” attitude on her side quest but still have a lot of patience for people's BS at times. I can't exactly remember but I think when she was trying to find all the overdue books, she went "I might as well make it fun" and brought the traveler and Paimon along too.

Jean:

Once I take a step back and think of all the things she had to deal with during this arc, it was definitely something. Abyss Order, The Dragon, The Fatui and trying to keep the citizens calm. She doesn’t get enough credit where it’s due. There's this one line delivery in the English version, I can't exactly point out when but it was about how the Fat couldn't get the upper hand in the situation. I don't know why but her tone of voice was passive aggressive, like she was praying on their downfall.

Diluc:

Mix opinions on him due to him sending us to find four of those ice flowers and I had to spend a hour and thirty minutes trying to find the fourth one. So yeah I have bitter feelings about that Serious note, he's probably my favorite character in Mondstadt if we're not including Amber and Kaeya. Bro is the Batman of the game, they even call him the Dark knight

Abyss Ice Mage:

Yeah I dedicated a whole section to this NPC because Imagine being electrocuted by Lisa and flamed by Diluc within a week. Like bro was put in the wringer (rightfully so). Kinda hoped they appear in the future story so this trend of Ice Mage being comedically abused continues.

My thoughts of the story:

I thought the first archon quest of the story is neat. It has nothing too spectacle as it works as a exposition to the world of Teyvat and it done that job very well.

The twist of knowing where the traveler's sibling is doing was definitely something I never thought would happen. Usually in most stories, they would have the sibling in prison but nope.

Your sibling is doing fine just helping out the big bad organization that is trying to destroy Teyvat.

Now this may be a reach but I like how each character has the freedom of accomplishing their goals by their own way.

First you have the traveler, by default they have the freedom of not being born in Teyvat as they are not from this world. Because of this, they have the ability to use more than one element. Another note is that because the traveler isn't bound by the nation's rules as they wasn't raised in Teyvat, they're always the person with a third option, sort of like a spectator...

is this why they're so quiet? So he can hear the opinions of others before making their own conclusions???

Paimon also has freedom as she doesn't have a parental figure which allows her to tag along, traveler on their quests.

Moving on to the people of Mondstadt, even within the Knights of Favonius who are under strict codes, handle tasks using their own method.

Example of this is the uniforms.

While Amber, Lisa, Kaeya, and Jean share the same motifs as being in the same group, their uniforms are completely different. You know how in magical girl shows, where you have sailor moon, where every soldier wears the same design but different color palette? Then there are other shows like Magica Madoka, where the girls where completely different outfits? The knights of favonius fits the latter, with the exception of the NPCs.

Even the way they handle tasks are different. Amber make sure she does her best to follow the rules but with a bit a flare. Lisa is a tad strict but her approach is passive. Kaeya always tries to find a loophole in the situation to see the whole picture. (Example: Him "staying behind" in the city, to get more information about the Abyss Order). Jean who follows the rules, but know there are times when the rules have to be bend.

Then you have the outliners like Diluc and Venti who are not apart of the knights. Diluc doesn't trust the knights to completely solve the problem so he acts as a vigilante, to pick up the pieces they fail to notice.

Venti who is the god of freedom, decided to not rule his region like the other archons. Instead, he watches it from afar, like the guardian he is, and steps in when the time is right.

All these characters are different in one way or another but they all come together to work together because they all share a common goal. Still even if you do things your own way, you still have to bear the responsibility of your actions.

Venti was too nonchalant in his approach of protecting his region which resulted in a Harbinger, La Signora, taking his Gnosis.

I say he was nonchalant because he was focus on the current problems of his country, which was storm bringer, and not future problems such as the Fatui. Because he wasn't focus on them, he let his guard down when the problem with storm bringer was solved.

I know this may be a stretch and I'm just writing what pops up in my head but that's what I got from the message of the archon quest.

Speaking of La Signora, how the hell did no one saw her attacking Venti and traveler or at the very least heard it? I know Barbara did but you're telling me that only ONE person heard that shit?!

So after talking to Venti it appears that we have to go to every seven regions to find the traveler's siblings. Or in this case, try to convince them to not destroy this world.

The fuck do we look like Pokemon Trainers?... Because I can sing the theme songs if you want

Either way, I had fun with the story. Gamplay-wise... I'm not really much of a gamer myself. I don't go into the mechanics of the game.I play fighting game, barely knowing the combos and just smash buttons to win

However, I can say the gameplay of Genshin is easy to get into. Unfortunately, it's a rpg so I have to farm for materials... yay, I guess. But it's not as bad as Fate Grand Order, Fate grand order farming system is a shit storm especially considering how it's a turn based but doesn't have a auto-farm system.

(for those who want to get into the story of FGO, just look it up on Youtube, do not play the game. )

When exploring, I often hesitate of where I go, because the game doesn't want you to explore said region yet, They will send Paimon telling you "Let's explore that later" only to yeet you off the cliff.

Speaking of Gameplay Paimon, she always setting us up. There was this purple spot, and she told us to blow it away to see what it is, only for it to be the eye of the storm... Its not like it was hard but it was annoying to fight it.

At least she let us control the time though.

Overall, I had fun with the game, I'm looking forward for Liyue and thank you for reading all of this as I was writing as I go so I know there is MANY grammar errors in this review.

Can't wait for Liyue because then I will get to see the character that convinced me to play the game.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey, cas!

I think I need some advice. Apologies in advance if this sounds too urgent or something. I know one of your boundaries is to not feel pressured to answer immediately and I don’t want you to feel like that’s what I’m doing.

So school started again about three weeks ago but I was sick the entirety of last week, so I’ve only actually been to school for two. Where I live the school system is a bit different from America, but you could say that this is my first year of high school, only that I didn’t have to change schools.

Even though it’s only been two weeks, I’m already immensely stressed out. Now that I’ve been sick for a week, I’m scared I missed too much stuff, especially because the level of things we need to do has doubled since last year. I’ve always been pretty lazy and never really studied for anything except sometimes math. I never needed to because I got Bs and often As anyway. Now however I’m completely overwhelmed.

Last night I panicked so much about having to go back to school today, that I almost threw up. When I realized, I found myself thinking about forcing myself to throw up to prove to my mother that I was still sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school.

When I realized that that was what was going on I had another breakdown and didn’t do anything. I felt almost disgusted at myself for even thinking about that.

This morning I wanted to fake a headache, but ended up not because my mother kept insisting I go to school.

When I was on my way to school, my bike had issues, so I asked my mom to come help me. I had a breakdown before she even arrived. When she did, she tried to help me and understand what was going on, but I couldn’t really speak or listen to anything she told me. I think I may have had a panic attack of some sort.

When I’d calmed down enough to explain what was going on, she tried to reassure me that everything would be alright and that my grades didn’t matter to her. I knew all of that already, but it did calm me down a bit.

After we agreed that I can stay home today as long as I promise to go tomorrow, no matter what, she suggested that I go to therapy, which I was planning on asking for anyway.

All in all it doesn’t sound as bad anymore now that I’ve typed it all out like this. The only issue is that in my country Therapy waiting lists take an average of 6 months. I don’t know how I’m supposed to wait that long.

Do you have any advice on how to get my anxiety under control until then. Or how to feel less stressed about school in general. I can’t talk to my teacher because she’s very strict and her method of teaching people who don’t know stuff yet is to repeatedly call on them and throw them in ice water basically. I’m sure she means well, but it only increases my anxiety by a tenfold. What would you tell your students if they were having trouble with something?

I definitely struggled with this when I was younger, so I completely get it. I think one of the things about feeling overwhelmed like this is you feel like you have to get it all done in one day. So instead, could you maybe make a list of the things you need to get done, but then separate it into manageable chunks? Like Make up all your math work on Monday, science on Tuesday, etc? You could even show your teacher your plans to let her know you're working toward getting caught up.

Honestly, I would tell my student that you need to go easy on yourself. If you push yourself too much, you're going to end up learning less because you're too stressed! The people what expect you to be perfect aren't worth it. Take breaks, do a little at a time, and remind yourself that it's just as important to take care of yourself as it is to catch up <3

Sending love and naming you catch up anon!