#alterhuman toxic trait

[f1nleyp4wz]

ALTERHUMANS I AM SUMMONING YOU

let's start a chain

everyone reblog with your alterhuman toxic trait

mine is that I forget that I'm not actually the size of a cat, which usually ends up with me stuck in a box

[error404-holiness-not-found]

I feel like a lot of people are under the impression that being an angel is all radiant sunshine, tranquil clouds, and majestic wings, but it really isn't.

Being an angel is also...

Struggling with people pleasing

Struggling to consistently think for yourself

A constant struggle between listening to authority and desiring freedom

Being overly trusting or distrusting

An overwhelming desire to be helpful, which can sometimes come off as condescending

Being prone to righteous anger, hatred, grudges, and revenge

Wishing harm upon people who you think have done wrong

Feeling guilty that you wished harm against said people

Frequent moral struggles

A constant fight between "They did wrong and deserve this" and "They're suffering and nobody deserves this"

Feeling extreme shame and self-hatred when you realize that you hurt somebody or have toxic traits

Black and white thinking

A difficulty accepting criticism because it feels like an insult or statement of your worth

Perfectionism

Having an ego or feeling like the pinnacle of morality (even if you factually know you're not)

And so much more

I'm not saying that you can't enjoy angelhood, or that is angels (fallen or not) are always miserable or toxic, but rather that angels, like any other being, are flawed and imperfect. It's not always pretty or sanitized.

[girldraki]

our toxic trait is being obsessed with the idea of turning Serious Identity Shit into art pieces. generative xenogenders. states of alterhumanity that are conferred through assignment by other people*. we’d do this to plurality too if it wasn’t unbelievably unethical

[fluffnstuffq]

We all know that the “kin for fun” trend is bad. 

Recently, however, the question of “why is it bad?” has risen in prominence, and thus I’d like to give my two cents on the matter. I initially wanted to give a rehash of the whole “this is a community which has been around for decades, please don’t appropriate its terms because you don’t know what you’re talking about” spiel.. though I know that’s been repeated endlessly to no avail. 

Dozens of times I’ve tried to explain that, though I’ve often been faced with the “words change” or “it’s just a game, it harms no one” argument.

So I’m taking a more personal approach.

I don’t know if my anecdotes will change anyone’s mind, but if anyone in the “kin for fun” community sees this and actually reads through it, I implore you to try to listen to genuine otherkin, do some research, and find other terms that better suit you.

Beware, long rambling anecdote under the cut.

It is hard to believe that, a mere 8 months ago, I was new to the otherkin community. 

I’d been reading about and researching otherkinity in depth for as long as a year prior, though it was as recently as May 2020 upon which I took my own first step into evaluating my own experiences, creating an otherkin oriented side blog, and formally taking the plunge into what I’d initially assumed, from fun “kin assign ask games” or “no doubles drama”, to be a trend.

While I quickly versed myself in the original, serious and introspective parts of the community, I had my fair share of run-ins with those of the “kinnie/kin for fun crowd”. One such experience, over the course of about two-three months, forever left an impression on the way I view the community (and the problems within it) as a whole.

Without naming names, some of the individuals we encountered turned out to be... the practical embodiment of some of the worst facets of this community.

They were the prime example of the misguided “kinnie” mindset. Dead-set on fitting under the ‘kin label, though unwilling to do any research on their own. Faking out of control, dramatic shifts to seem more “valid” to genuine otherkin (more on that later). Willing to go as far as picking traits from other people’s original characters to “customize” their “kinsonas” perfectly. 

However, aside from their merely misguided attempts to fit in (which could’ve been easily fixed if not for the stubborn kinnie mindset), the most scathing of their actions highlighted some major issues of the “kin for fun” side.

In just a few months, we had our identities stomped on and treated like nothing more than a game. 

You see, the “kinnie” mindset is not self contained. It is almost impossible to maintain this mindset and respect the involuntary, deeply personal nature of otherkin history, due both to widespread misinformation/trends, as well as the common plague of stubborn ignorance of definitions.

In most cases we’ve seen, once one steps fully into the mindset that their own kintypes are nothing more than a game or an act, they begin to at the very least subconsciously view others’ experiences the same way. 

This is obviously not the case for all those who take on alterhuman identities by choice (ex: copinglinking). However, in taking on the “kin for fun” label, one immediately disrespects the identities of others by appropriating and bending terms with a history to fit themself. 

And once one establishes that they lack care or concern for the already, dare I say, endangered terms once meant to foster a sense of community and understanding, of shared experiences... that person already predisposes themself to spiraling into greater disrespect and ignorance of the identities of others.

The individuals that we encountered, like many others of this mindset, used their so-called “kins” for the sole purpose of feeling validated, for looking “cool” and as leverage to get their way. Because it was nothing more than roleplay and a brief interest to them, they often treated others’ kintypes as something that could be similarly discarded/”turned off” or reset. As if others’ kintypes were nothing more than characters which didn’t deserve respect.

Exotrauma and otherwise painful memories, while stressful and sometimes nightmare inducing for us, were nothing more than fodder for outlandish “story ideas” and “angst” for them. 

In the cases of these individuals faking shifts, they often acted in ways threatening and even triggering to those around them; though because it was just a show for them, they failed time and time again to recognize the negative impact their violent “shifts” had on others. 

They had no restraint, for both their own actions and the fearful/concerned reactions of others were just harmless roleplay in their eyes. (I do feel like..  even roleplay should have boundaries if the events of a story upset the people participating, and the notion that anything goes, even at the expense of someone else’s comfort.. it just gives very uncomfortable “fiction does not affect reality” vibes. Though, that’s a story for another time).

As our experiences weren’t real to them and never had been, they often conflated us with the “canon characters”, like we and many others they interacted with were nothing more than toys to fixate on, change and push “headcanons” onto, and test the limits of.

And because they didn’t care to learn, because individuals such as these continued to remorselessly fall deeper into the rabbit hole of “I do whatever I want/I don’t care to learn otherwise”, the lack of consideration grew more severe.

Those who “kin for fun” may certainly be experiencing.. something, I will not discount that assertion. Whether copinglinking, a hearttype, or merely a fictionflicker/cameo shift. However, it’d be disingenuous to say that it is harmless for them to continue to warp and pick at terms that do not and will never fit them. For every joke, every dozens-long “coping-kinlist”, every admittance of “haha I was never a serious kin”, they all do the same in spreading misinformation. 

As I see more and more people self-identifying as “copinglink, but using the kin title because it sounds better”, even if calling oneself “a non-serious kinnie”, one wonders... why use those terms if you know they do not fit? Why encroach upon communities of bittersweet memories, of aching homesickness, of involuntary nonhumanity, only with the intention of putting on an act?

Why fight so hard, when directly told and shown how “kin for fun” actively tears apart the already dwindling otherkin community on this platform? Why cling so hard to words that are not yours, why force change upon the definitions of words meant to be a safe haven for those searching for understanding? Why paint “serious otherkin” as dangerous gatekeepers, sufferers of clinical lycanthropy, or those merely suffering from delusions/hallucinations?

Because of those who “kin for fun”, I was initially steered away from investigating my own identity; I’d only seen the jokes, the toxic “kin drama”, the cringe blogs and factkin and “kinning”. Because of “kin for fun”, it took me over a year to come to terms with my own alterhumanity, in all of its facets.

Because of “kinnies”, my fears are proven time and time again that I will come across someone who views my identity as roleplay at best and “childish, a phase, character theft” at worse. Because of “kinnies” and the mindset they’ve fostered, time and time again someone steals my memories, my experiences, my identity, justifying it as creating their own version, like an AU of an AU.

Because of “kinnies”, time and time again I’ve been told to “stop taking things so seriously, it’s just for fun” when complaining about my identity being minimized. I’ve been told that “kinnies”, despite appropriating an already existing community, are the “normal ones”, the “sane ones”, the “good ones” who don’t really believe in all that they boast. 

Some have even told me that it doesn’t matter at all, for all they can see is a trend with no real hold over their identity in the longrun. “It won’t matter in ten years”, they say. 

Perhaps not for them, long after their interest in the “trend” has faded. But for me and countless other genuine otherkin? In ten years I will still be Blixer from Just Shapes and Beats, I will still be an unnamed creature of woods and starlight and faded memories of golden lanterns, I will still be otherkin, and I will still carry the scars of my identity being torn to shreds and thrown into my face like dirt.

I cannot run from my kintypes and never could, even when I was afraid of them. “Kinnies”, in most cases, hardly believe my identity really exists.

What do they believe, then? What are they trying to achieve, scrubbing away the less “aesthetically pleasing”, fluffy bits of this community? What good does it do them to take meaningful, personal words to describe an identity that they can shed at the drop of a hat if it is “problematic” or boring at the end of the day?

One can smile and nod and say that, despite “kinning for fun”, they still respect otherkinity as a whole. And I say, in most cases, that reassurance is hollow. You have already stolen our words, you have already spread misinformation.

This has stumbled into rambling territory, so I leave a few questions, honest, genuine questions.

I ask those who “kin for fun”, what is the allure of words that you have stolen? What is the allure of having the blood of a shattered community on your hands?

As many others have said before, you may find a place in the greater alterhuman community. We have terms for you, as well as many other specific experiences.

Why fight so hard to steal our haven, to push us out of our own spaces, when your own words are waiting for you with open arms?

Words change, yes, but why fight so hard to change them at the expense of others?

[aestherians]

This is kind of negative and a bit of a vent, but I guess I'm looking for some words of advice. I want to express my alterhumanity and find a community that can understand me as being inherently deeply nonhuman but lately as a trauma survivor I've felt so unsafe in the online community due to people who I liked and trusted turning out to have done some really shitty stuff. I honestly don't want to get into the drama but it's just so disheartening because sometimes it feels like the whole community is full of people who won't respect/listen to trauma survivors. I don't fit into normal society or even most of fandom and other "niche" subcultures but the alterhuman community can be so toxic and even dangerous and it just makes me feel isolated and blegh. I know every community is going to have issues and have bad people but it's just been really noticeable lately and has bothered me a lot. Have you ever had similar feelings about the community? If you did, how did you deal with them?

I'm so sorry to hear how hard it has been for you. I really hope you find peace and contentedness soon.

I have had bad experiences with the community (plainly, you don't have to have followed this blog for long to have seen some nasty interactions). Back during the factkin debacle in January, there was one person who messaged me multiple times about a topic that is triggering for me, despite me telling them not to (the only reason they stopped was that I blocked them). In hindsight I said some things that I definitely don't agree with now, but the reaction from some of those who disagreed with me was way out of line. And that's just one example.

Your best bet is to be really liberal with the block button, and to be really open about where you stand so people know to avoid you/so you know who to block. It's not a fantastic solution, but it's the most effective one I've found. Trying to hide your stances or traits or even your personality to seem more appealing to others will only invite people into your life that you probably don't want. While being open and loud will scare off those types, while inviting compatible people into your life.

If all that is too scary, you can try doing it on an anonymous sideblog first – that's how I started this blog, back when Kin Cringe was big and I had just awakened and was too scared to be open about my nonhumanity. After a while, after seeing the little community that had essentially been built around this blog, I became more confident and less worried about human-humans finding out I'm nonhuman, to the point that this blog is now linked from my main.

As for how to know if the people you've meet have done terrible things in the past, I'm afraid I don't have many tips. Keep new people at an arm's length for a good while, and take note of which kinds of people they hang around. Oversharing, asking for personal information right off the bat, and hanging around people who are obsessed with discourse and conflict, are all red flags.

[monsterqueers]

So I debated a long time about making this post(its been in my drafts for over a year, oops), but I feel like its necessary as ive yet to see a post like it in my time on this site, so here you go;

Red Flags To Watch Out For, Tumblr Edition

Disclaimer- These are not necessarily abusive behaviors on their own, but if a person checks many of them, they may be a toxic/dangerous person to be around.

Please also refer to general abuse, bullying, and cult red flag lists to accompany this.

If you would like to add more red flags that I have forgotten to this list, feel free to do so!

General Evasive Behaviors

Excessive changing of urls

While changing ones url just happens on this site, this person is changing their url every other month or more and never returning to their previous ones- often with little warning or explanation. 

Does it feel like they are running from something or someone with all the changes or trying to confuse people who knew their name before? Is the url long or nonsensical? Does the change coincide with any kind of drama, falling out, or vagueposting?

NOTE- this is also employed by survivors trying to get away from abusers

Frequently making new blogs and trashing the old ones

Changing blogs happens. Sometimes the old one was mired in a Brand, or someone just wants a fresh start. This person, however, remakes multiple times a year and frequently deletes their old blogs.

Are you ‘mutuals’ who talk frequently but they never tell you when they switch blogs and then act like nothing happened? Do they do this specifically after drama/wank happens? Does it seem like they are trying to purge their name of evidence of their identity or actions through this behavior?

NOTE- this is also employed by survivors trying to get away from abusers

Deleting large portions of their blog often

Again, it happens naturally, but this person is excessively removing more than half the things they post -frequently purging their personal posts and conversations despite much of their content being those things. They may also change the content of their about pages radically multiple times a month.

Does every ‘blog cleanup’ always end in them deleting everything but some images, maybe some generic ‘reblog to slap a terf’-esque sj posts, and some fandom even though they talk or argue with other people very often and make personal posts daily? Do they do this after any kind of drama happens?

General Aggressive Behaviors

Claiming to ‘love the discourse/drama’

People who show this trait by itself, unlike many of the others on this list, usually ARE toxic or dangerous. Straight up avoid these people for your safety and/or comfort.

They delight in causing strife and ‘punishing’ people, treating intracommunity discussions like a fun game to win or as a badge of honor -as though they are a better person than others because they ‘fight the nasty xyz group’(usually meaning sending hate all day).

Do they seem to enjoy lashing out at people in discussion? Do they encourage their followers or mutuals to attack people they are arguing with? Do they treat social justice as a way to get glory and notes rather than a serious discussion? Do they seem to desperately claw for more people to harass and rant about/at- regularly trawling tags that squick/trigger them to find new people to ‘discourse’ with? Do they refuse to tag any of these arguments?

Most of their personal posts are negatively flavored or standoffish

While many people vent on their blogs, this person seems to be venting exclusively to get notes. All/most of their negative personal posts have a variation of ‘lms’ on them or they frequently post vague messages about people never liking their personal posts.

Do they constantly ‘vague’ people? Do they make regular posts about how people aren’t cooperating with their ten-step follow/unfollow directions? Are these constantly stressful posts rarely tagged or put under a cut even though they tag everything else? Does all of this seem geared more towards getting notes and manipulating people into giving constant emotional labor than to express their feelings?

Reacts to people asking questions with rude, cruel, or inappropriate responses.

This person is dismissive at best to people making innocent inquiries and clarification questions- at worst they spew psuedo-sexual harassment, suicide bating, and insults as a ‘joke’.

Do they constantly use ‘tumblr insults’(ie, barely disguised ‘socially acceptable’ suicide bait or sexual harassment) like ‘Piss your pants!’ or ‘Go choke!’ on people who question them? Is this ‘mean’ persona seemingly geared towards trying to get notes for being ’funny-mean’?

General Isolating And Controlling Behaviors

They have a cult, or a cult-like circle of friends/followers

While some people have a dedicated network of friends and acquaintances, for these people, networking is Serious Business. They tout their friend circle as an exclusive club and advertise themselves with frequent promos, aiming to ‘collect’ as many friends as possible. They have a strong ‘mutuals’ culture- they feel the only reason to follow people on tumblr is to have ‘mutuals’ and much of their activity on the site is geared towards getting more mutuals and guilt-tripping people into staying in their circle. These groups frequently make joint efforts in drama/wank and pressure followers to join in- unstated that you will become ‘cool’ and viable to join the inner group if you just do enough for them.

Does this mutuals circle have a significant moral crusade or spiritual element? Do they have a formal name(ex- something like ‘Twice-Born Elven Society Of Earth’ or ‘The Great Canadian ‘Were Pack’ or ‘Tumblr Cleanup Club’) that feels kind of pretentious or all-encompassing, as though they speak for everyone in their demographic? Do they frequently ask followers to ‘recruit’ for them or pressure you to reblog their moral crusade/spiritual-related posts?

Refer to the Advanced Bonewits’ Cult Evaluation Frame(http://www.neopagan.net/ABCDEF.html) if this sounds at all familiar.

Excessively long following instructions

While having restrictions is fine, this person has so many instructions and restrictions they might as well just not have a tumblr. Not only that, but their list has many relatively harmless things paired with actually bad things, the position of which implies both are equally bad(eg- has ‘no terfs or people who reblog anime’ or ‘no homophobes or non men who ship m/m’ as one Whole bullet point). They may also have a multiple-step process you must go through to ‘prove’ you read it, with social shaming or a block as punishment if you don’t, despite not stating any of this in their mobile bio.

Do they effectively forbid you from freely unfollowing under the pain of callouts and anon hate? Do their byfs contain radfem dogwhistles? Do they seem not to distinguish between things like ‘person with a kink’ and ‘following/liking from a dedicated nsfw blog’? Do their byfs have a vague enough wording despite the length that things like ‘homophobes’ could mean ‘trans or BPQ+ people’? Does this byf update frequently and without warning- forcing people to stalk their blog weekly to make sure they are still Acceptable?

NOTE- BYFs are fine. Some are just unhealthy for both the user and the follower, and many behaviors surrounding them are likewise toxic

Forbids you from interacting even indirectly with certain kinds of people

Similar to the one above, but more specific, this flag involves the user forbidding you to interact with, reblog posts mentioning, or following certain groups of otherwise harmless people- even if it was an honest mistake. They will frequently lash out in anger if you cannot name the history of every person you reblog, wether you follow them or not.

Does this user seem to want to limit your ability to get information outside of an approved ‘bubble’? Does this user make callouts of people who so much as ‘like’ a post that is otherwise harmless for someone on this list? Does it feel like reblogging from anyone but them and their circle is dangerous or that you must trust their judgement always if they tell you a user/group is bad without ever giving proof?

Otherkin Related

Switching IDs/Kintypes often

While some people may have an unstable identity and use the incorrect definition of otherkin when they should be using ‘copinglink’ or are still questioning and not sure of their Alterhuman Identity yet, these people are the epitome of ‘ID culture’. Not only are they working on an incorrect definition of what otherkind and fictionkind are, but they refuse to be politely educated on the correct ones or shown to a community that would work better for them and may even become aggressive and hateful towards you for it.

Do they have 10+ anime characters -who all have a similar aesthetic- on their ‘kinlist’ and keep adding more? Do they drop most of these a few months later? Is this person very aggressive about ‘doubles’ or force followers to never interact with them? Do they call people ‘fakes’ frequently?  Do they police fandom on what headcanons, aus, or ships are ‘allowed’ in their source?

Sets themselves up as a ‘kin of authority’ in something 

These people think they know everything there is to know about a nonhuman identity and only they can answer your questions.

Do they assert that their theory on why and how otherkinity works is the Only theory(ex- ‘otherkin are spiritual only and only occur when someone was supposed to be put in an animal body! All others aren’t otherkin!’)? Do they claim they can tell you what your kintype is- often due to some spiritual power they claim to have? Do they instruct their followers to attack people who say otherwise or do so personally? Do they sound like a cult leader? Do they excessively grill people(ie- effectively requiring a 10 page essay full of just the right ‘proof’ for them to consider you ‘valid’)?

Frequently takes trolls seriously and reblogs from people who think they are real without using any critical thought.

These people claim to be fictionkind or otherkind, but will reblog obvious trolls like carrionkin, eggkin, and that one person who claimed they were Hitler in a past life.

Do they seem to be doing the anti-kin and troll’s work for them? Do they try to put down one ‘type’ of Alterhuman, as though they all act like that troll. Do they constantly act like an anti-kin despite claiming to be Alterhuman themselves?

SJ Blogging Related

Don’t practice what they preach

Pretty self explanatory, but they do things like reblog the ‘reblog to punch a terf!’ posts but still tout radfem beliefs and say ‘don’t be ableist!’ but encourage the bullying of the ‘weird loner kids’. These people are often cruel but turn around and say ‘abuse is wrong!’ They refuse to apply the social justice they claim they support.

Are a frequent user of The Ship Of Theseus

This video->  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui-ArJRqEvU explains it better than I ever could.

Frequently makes and spreads callout posts

Callout posts have their place occasionally- provided they are something like ‘be careful of x person because they are genuinely dangerous’. However, this person spreads and makes callouts very frequently and with dubious sources.

Is the callout post pretty much just a ship war hidden under a Ship of Theseus (ie- calling someone a child predator for retweeting shippy art on twitter for a fandom they aren’t) ? Is the callout post largely easily faked screenshots and not links to archived posts or conversations? Have they made multiple of them, or spread multiple in a year? Are the callouts seemingly always for minority content creators and stated in a way to gain maximum outrage?

Fandom Related

Strongly encourages you to call them the fandom  ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ and to come to them for advice despite being relatively young

Do they constantly advertise themselves as the ‘fandom mom’ or ‘fandom dad’ here to protect everyone else? Are they barely an adult themselves but act like their followers should look up to them as an authority or parental figure? Do they interact heavily with their underage follower base in rps, fanfic, headcanons, or fanart circles despite condemning the same in other people? Do they advertise themselves as ‘actually minor safe’ and warn their followers off of ‘other nasty creepy adult fandom presences’ frequently?

Fear-mongers about other popular bloggers in fandom

Do they claim every person over the age of 25 in fandom is a potential child predator and only they are safe because they actually care about being ‘minor safe’ and being ‘pure’? Do they constantly reblog callout posts for ‘pedophilia’ that are just easily faked skype screenshots vaguely alluding to a paring involving two adults or something equally Not Provably Real CP Or Abuse Of A Real Child? Do they then use those callout posts to argue every adult(but them, if applicable) is a creepy monster?

Participates in ship wars, ‘tag bombs’ or insists on their ship being 100% definitely canon

Do they describe themselves as anti-’specific ship’, pro-’insert other ship’? as a major aspect of their identity? Do they frequently send hate to anyone who doesn’t ship their ship or ship a different ship? Do they participate in ‘tag bombs’ where they mass post hate, spam, and their ship in the rival ship’s tags? Do they try to argue that anyone who doesn’t ship their ship is an immoral, evil person? Do they insist that their ship is canon when it is not, in fact, blatantly confirmed within canon?

Tries to police/run the fandom

Also self-explanatory. These people act like they must ‘clean up’ and ‘organize’ fandom, and often believe that they only people who can. They slew hate to anyone who they dislike and try to dictate how others engage with the media even in the privacy of their own sub-communities or locked blogs. They may claim that you must only ship canon ships, or that you must only use a specific set of headcanons or that no erotica or gore is allowed to be made whatsoever to ‘protect the children’ even on sites and locked communities where children are disallowed.

Refuse to operate with tagging courtesy

These users will post graphic content and neither flag their blog, nor tag it with even a catchall ‘graphic’ or ‘viewer discretion advised’ tag. They will often post this content in the main tags without regard for the wellbeing of anyone else in the tag. When asked to please tag their mature content, they refuse, and may even post more of it just to prove a point.