#alt mary

[spnwin-reader]

Sam would be odd man out on snacks even had his parents survived:

JOHN: Licorice drops? Nice choice.

Woe to Sam, continually and perpetually outnumbered, even when Jack joins the family. Hell, even when he eats, Cas like pork rinds and crap food.

Who will eat terrible rabbit-food alongside Sam? No one.

(Maybe Henry?)

SPNwin 1x01, SPN 7x10

[shallowseeker]

The thing with Mary is that Mary is and always was a child soldier in a way that John isn't.

Soldiers die for the Cause, they sacrifice for the Cause, and above all else, they die for each other. That's built into Mary's bones.

This is how the Campbell story begins and perpetuates.

Mary is young. She's desperate. Mother? Dead. Father? One foot in the grave as we speak. And John? Lying dead in front of her, felled to the ground because of Mary's hunting life.

Of course she's going to be vulnerable to make that deal. Of course she makes the deal.

She's been coerced, backed into a corner, torn up by grief. She crumples under the pressure of everything leading up to this moment.

But beyond the machinations and beyond the romance lies her soldierhood.

It tells her it's worth the cost.

She's used to doing the ugly thing.

(Find her "Queens" and she'll move to protect.)

[candyje11yfish]

zombie witch shiver🧪🧠

[restingcorpse]

[hiraspit]

[blended-ice]

dad jokes with Toshiya!

[mqolearts]

her dad made benches... he liked to sit... can i make it any more obvious

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

is this the adventure you were looking for

[erinwantstowrite]

thinking about them atm (couldn't focus while writing so i had to doodle)

[pineappleciders]

happy birthday aubs

[timbit-robin-art]

Marvel if they locked in.

[spnwin-reader]

Loss in common:

Enter Millie, The Prickly-but-Hopeful Fixer

[We note that, even after all this time, Millie's building carries the MoL Aquarian star of protection, and it's still Winchester Garage, not...whatever-her-maiden-name is.]

When we first meet Millie, she's bitter. As the one who "kept the lantern on," "the one who stayed," she's hurt and defensive, a lot like how Dean grows to be in latter seasons of SPN.

(Even post-demonicity, Dean is still expected to be the soft place to fall for everyone. Even after Jack kills Mary, Cas has this expectation of Dean's soft-heartedness: "it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.")

Anyway, Millie!

Her reunion with John is part passive-aggressive but loving. We see that Millie, like Dean, has intense abandonment trauma. She speaks abrasively-but-affectionately. She calls John "Kid, Kiddo, etc." which was a go-to with Dean for both Claire Novak and Jack Kline.

JOHN: Love what you've done with the place. MILLIE (passive-aggressive): Well, my husband and son walked out on me, so. It's the best I could do. (growing emotional) Dammit. Welcome home, Kiddo.

Gruff, abrasive, imperfect? Maybe. But full of love.

Alt John and Millie are united by the common loss of Henry, just as Prime John, Sam, and Dean were united by the common loss of Mary.

John thinks Henry walked out on them, but I think Millie is likely more complex. With her tacit knowledge of the Men of Letters, I think it's reasonable that she at least suspects that he might be dead.

What does that tell us about her? It tells us that the loss of Henry was unbelievably painful--it's probably easier for her to consider he left than the very likely truth: his demise.

She's a fixer. That's what she does.

She holds out hopeless hope.

JOHN: I'm fine, Mom. MILLIE: The Hell you are. You've been chasing your dad since he walked out that door. I know that's why you enlisted. But it is time to let the past go, kiddo.

But Millie isn't healed either. She hasn't let the past go, even as she pursues her dream of being a mechanic and owning a garage (like her father). Letting the past go hasn't helped her heal.

In fact, carrying on hunting and the MoL business is what seems to soothe her loss, giving her new meaning and purpose. Millie and John's push-pull dynamic with hunting is much like how it was with Ellen and Jo Harvelle.

///

But overall, we see what Henry's absence wrought. It's just as Henry feared in SPN Prime (9x17 Mother's Little Helper):

HENRY: Therein lies the problem. As our initiation grows closer, I... I worry that this might be a selfish endeavor on my part. JOSIE: Selfish. How? HENRY: If anything were to happen to me, what of John? Millie? JOSIE: They'd be proud to know that you answered the call. HENRY: No. My wife would be a widow, and my son fatherless. I don't expect you to understand. You don't have a fam--[he pauses] I'm sorry, Josie. I didn't mean it that way. JOSIE: I know, Henry. You're a good man. Millie is lucky to have you.

This directly parallels Cas and his allegiance to his work, Heaven, (Heaven is a truck, and Cas is a truck-driver; Dean thinks he's Josie when he's actually Millie).

It also beings to mind the visual of ("little John") Jack's entrance as he wanders around muttering, "Father. Fa-ther. Father. I need to find him. Castiel. He was supposed to be here," while looking for his long-expected, lost father in 13x01 Lost and Found.

But it's also an off-key parallel to prime John, who would become as Millie was, a bereft widower in the cold, floundering and ill-equipped to handle the dangers of the supernatural world.

///

Enter Mary, Action Hero

(Note: Mary's got a short range, so I love how she uses speed to her advantage to get larger targets off-balance.)

///

And importantly, John...is NOT allowed to look cool. It's a RULE. He's a dorky...little...guy.

Mary knocks the demon into a blessed holy water vat, a call-forward to something prime John will do in SPNprime 01x21 Salvation.

//

When Alt John and Alt Mary meet:

Mary's father has been absent (missing) from her life for a short time, and John's father Henry has been absent for most of his life, just as when Dean and Cas meet, theirs too is a tale of missing fathers. Cas's father was absent for all of his life, and Dean's flaky dad has been gone for a (relatively) short time. It also very obviously parallels Sam and Dean searching for their missing father.

When they break inside the Men of Letters clubhouse, Mary keys into John's emotions about his father. This reminds me of of the first time Dean keyed in really hard to Cas's emotions in 5x16.

///

JOHN: How do you cope with it all? MARY (wryly, jokingly): I'll let you know when I find out. (SPNwin 1x01)

//

DEAN: Yeah, I get it. I know how you feel. CASTIEL: How do you manage it? DEAN (wryly, jokingly): On a good day, you get to kill [The Whore of Babylon]. (SPN 5x17)

///

Recent losses of friends & family:

Additionally, Mary and John have both suffered recent losses. Mary lost her narrative twin Maggie, and John lost his comrade Murph to war.

[Mary's cousin went to Hell, just as Sam's brother went to Hell in season in vintage and mid-SPN.] Mary's hunting family was torn asunder, parents separating.

And John? WIth war, John signed up to fill a void left by his father, to find meaning in life.

We can even recall Dean's words to Gordon in 2x03 Bloodlust, how Dean struggled with the idea of "The Invincible Dad" and how his death made the word more terrifying, how it left a wound of depression inside of him that he sought to fill with meaning through work:

DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, you know. He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that (snaps) he's gone. I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. (clears throat) But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this - GORDON: Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job.

Dean lost his dad, and Gordon lost his sister. This emptiness is depression. John lost his dad and suffered that loss all his life. He signed up to the war for the GLORY OF PURPOSE. He didn't sign up to the war for more pain and grief, but that's exactly what he got.

What's the thing Dean can't fill up, not with booze or love or even sex? It's grief and pain. It can only be filled with love, which is what Cas's confession narratively does in 15x18.

It's also what Mary's love and the love of the Core 4 will eventually do for John.

///

SPN Prime season 8 side-parallel: Connections of recent grief ALSO calls to mind season 8, how Sam connected with Amelia when they had both suffered a loss, Sam lost his narrative twin to Purgatory and Amelia lost her husband to war.

Theirs was a fast-paced reactionary relationship born of grief, something that pinged and annoyed Amelia's father, leading him to be very passive-aggressive with Sam. (Her father was a dick, but he's both a soldier himself and does know her best and probably has her best interests in mind. He recognized that was Amelia mid-freakout, OOC. He pings that her out-of-characterness is a weird reaction to grief).

He was right to be concerned about the shallowness and stability of it. These types of reactionary relationships are well-known: they can be very shaky, melodramatic, idealized, and weak when stress-tested.

Sam (and vintage Dean) both have this tendency to be all-in or all-out when it comes to The Cause. Neither strike a balance very easily. They tend to either be ALL IN for the Perfect War with Perfect War Companions at Your Side...or rushing into something tenuous that represents a weak idea that winds up unsatisfying because it's not genuine: Perfect White Picket Fence or Howling-at-the-Moon Dishibitory Party Life.

In SPNwin, John is doing a lot of running, too. He rushes into the thing with Betty (weak and tenuous), then he rushes into war, he rushes into hunting, and he runs into the relationship with Mary.

This theme of Running into Danger / Running From Danger persists. John certainly struggles with it, BUT in a departure from his past behavior, this new thing with Mary gets a lot of stress-testing, eventually moving from limerence into turbulence, power struggle, and de-idealization. (SPNwin 1x12, The Tears of a Clown)

///

SO.

Mary and her ragtag gang of friends embark on a journey to look for the missing Samuel Campbell the way Sam and Dean look for the errant John Winchester, the way the Banes twins look for their mother Tasha Banes in Twigs, Twine, & Tasha Bane.

Certainly the core 4 are all "running scared" and clinging to one another, having all lost loved ones in a variety of ways. They are united in empathy over their respective losses:

John (dad, comrades)

Mary (narrative sibling, missing dad, splintered family and parental separation)

Carlos (whole family killed by a monster)

Lata (no-contact with her family because they allowed her beloved nanny to die; nonsensical/cruel hierarchy of human society)

Ada (husband lost to madness, son potentially a puppy-destined-to-be-wolf)

And finally we get Henry's letter:

If you're reading this, then I'm gone. I'm sorry I kept the truth from you, John. There's a dangerous world out there, and our family has fought that danger for centuries. The answers to all your questions are at the address below. I love you and your mother. Always.

I think this idea of Henry Winchester as a secret-keeper, and as Mary-prime as a secret-keeper fed into what we know about John-prime turned into: a neuroses of paranoia and over-preparedness.

But thanks to Dean, Alt John has some new tools to work through this: knowledge. Even his anger is useful, openly telling his mother how disappointed and betrayed he feels over being kept in the dark. For her part, she gives him her emotional truth: that she only wanted to protect him.

It's the first healing step for both of them.

[shallowseeker]

Natural crisis points in The Winchesters character arcs and struggles

(Image from fangasm)

If it ever comes back for a short run or the characters appeared in later SPN incarnations, The Winchesters has a lot of built-in crisis points to power it forward.

I think overall, Robbie Thompson built them moderately well, because below are intrinsic qualities to each of them! He's good at building complex heroes, if he only has the time to follow through.

I. Fans as demonic forces

There are OG!fans actively rooting against it, which is VERY helpful for the writing team because such figures can immediately become an endless supply for bad-guy motives, villain monologues, demonic taunts, and dark mirrors.

Anyway, for characters, here's what I think:

///

MAIN SERIES THEMES

#1 BREAKING: Everyone has a breaking point, and when you do, you humans...your edges are sharp. You'll cut each other into ribbons. Familial/heroic counterpoint: So, we'll break! But we'll be there to help pick each other up again. Even if it hurts. Even if we bleed. #2 DESTINED IDENTITY: You are who I say you are. Because I'm the only one who really knows you. You were written to be what I say you are. Familiar/heroic counterpoint: I am my own person! No matter what you say; no matter how you wrote it before. #3 HUMAN-ING WRONG/FIXING OTHERS: You think you can fix them? Classic blunder. You can't. They're unfixable. Miswired. They were just born wrong, you know. Always running into danger. "John is a lost cause, he'll always devolve into abuser," etc etc. Familial/heroic counterpoint: Maybe people don't need fixing. Maybe they just need to be accepted. Maybe, sometimes, they just need support!

#4 PEACE OR FREEDOM: Which would you rather have, peace or freedom? Familial counter: Both!

///

ALT MARY

Fear, powerlessness, destiny, entrapment, & the timeless Campbell classist struggle of assumed stupidity

Go on, Mary. Trade your future for your blessed, blessed present.

No Mary Winchester in any timeline anywhere ever triumphed, because she is just too easy to trap. So are you.

You think you're a hunter? You're prey. Like an impala on the open savannah.

You're easily manipulated Mary, because you're just dumb, like all those other backwoods Campbells.

We wanted the Winchesters for their brains, but we wanted you for your body. That's all you're good for. A weapon, a vessel.

("Stay present," was such an oft-repeated line for Alt!Mary. We could twist that into short-sightedness, I think.) ///

ALT JOHN

The worst version of yourself & the complicated gray of the Men of Letters; the arrogance of trying to be "the brains" and trying to be "lone wolf"

Become who you were meant to be.

I know who you really are because I wrote you that way.

You're an abuser, a murderer, a bigot. It's your destiny.

You're just a soldier, a tool of war. A blunt hammer that hammers his own fuckin' thumb.

You're going to become the monster at the end of this book, John.

And the best part? You're going do it to yourself.

"I'm a John understander, you see."

So, go on.

Be all that you can be.

///

CARLOS

Doomed to be alone and fearful of reaching out; you become embittered by the constant pain of loss; you're so pathetically needy

You say you won't play my game, but you don't even see how you're already playing it.

You don't want to be alone, do you?

You actually want chaos to stay together. What if I told you that hunting could be forever? Would you choose it? I think you would, no matter who it hurt.

You're the weakest link because you're so desperate and needy. You need them more than they need you.

When you have your own chance of happiness, you can't even be happy for yourself; you're fundamentally broken (re: Anthony)

You're too busy steeling yourself for the loss that you ruin everything, so why bother wanting?

(Might as well cut it out now before the love gets its hooks in, right?)

And it's your foolish, reckless altruism that winds up hurting everyone around you. Irony's a bitch, ain't it?

///

LATA

Violence is inevitable, even for you.

You're not a good person. That's just how you get through your day.

One thing writing taught me is that anyone can do anything if you know where to put the right amount of pressure.

And it's beautiful how desperately you want to be good, and yet every action you take always hurts someone, somewhere. It always has.

Your hands aren't really clean.

You like to watch, don't you? You're just a hypocrite.

You let innocents die, just because you wouldn't go against your principles. Too afraid to get your hands dirty.

Your tragic cowardice.

Everyone around you succumbs to violence because you're poison.

So go ahead: have your cake and eat it, too, Lata.

I hope you choke on it.

///

MILLIE WINCHESTER

"Sooner or later, everyone is gonna leave you."

How can you turn your back on your dream to chase your husband's shadow? Everything you ever worked for is becoming a busted up junkyard, just. Like. You.

It's gonna kill all three of you before the show's over, you know.

You warned John not to go down this path, and now you're the one lighting the way.

Doing this won't bring Henry back to you.

You weren't there for him.

When he walked out that door, he said I love you.

You were silent.

///

ADA MONROE

Kill him. Kill your son.

I told you, Ada. Cute cuddly half-breed pups become the biggest, baddest wolves.

When push comes to shove, you know what's gonna happen.

You've always known that he'll turn.

He'll turn on you.

Would you rather your son die at the cruel hands of a stranger?

If it has to be done, wouldn't you rather it be by your merciful, loving hands?

You can die with him if you like. An equalizer of sorts.

Or maybe... you think that if you become powerful, become successful enough, that you'll have enough to protect yourself and him.

Or control him if it comes down to it. For his own good.

You'll never be powerless again, you say?

I'll take that bet. Don't say I didn't warn you.

[teabagtoaster]

trg as pokemon trainers for this year's D20 zine jam!

this was part of I Choose You! - A D20 x Pokemon Zine, which you can find as part of this bundle (featuring every zine made from this year's jam!) all proceeds go to the oPt Humanitarian Fund :-)

[geryone]

Incarnadine, Mary Szybist

[ursaspecter]

Week 2 of X-Men Inktober!