#henry cas parallels

[shallowseeker]

About 1x07 Reflections...

MILLIE: I can't lose him the way I did Henry. ADA: John isn't closed off the way Henry was.

An, Henry. A lot idealistic, a lot duty-driven... and by all accounts a little closed off emotionally.

///

MILLIE: I could always read your dad's writing because I knew the context... Shopping lists, bills paid... Love letters.

So, while we-the-audience see evidence of Henry's love, especially how he talks to his co-workers about Millie and John, to his loved ones and friends, Henry could be quite literally, "hard to read." ///

MILLIE: You're kidding, right? Your father's chicken scratch is the key to saving the world?

That sounds like "pierce thought the veil of death and save the day" kinda love, hehe.

///

Anyway.

There was a breakdown in their communication.

After their fight about his frankly dangerous and soul-sucking career, Millie thought Henry walked out on her, that he fell out of love with her and never came back.

Not for her, not even for John.

SPNwin is her journey to peace, both in understanding more completely the principles of protection that motivated Henry (see: the protective jasmine on her shop) and finding out that his leaving wasn't so simple, that he loved her and John all along.

He didn't just leave her. He died.

She's making peace with so much of her life.

All she ever wanted was for her loved ones to stay.

///

So, when Henry shows up briefly as a ghost in SPNwin, Millie is struck speechless...

MILLIE: Henry... HENRY: Millie. Know that I love you. Both of you. MILLE: (stares, nodding slowly, speechless)

Back in 1x02, she said this:

MILLLIE: But your dad and I had this rule. Whenever we fought, no matter how bad it got, we had to find a way to tell each other after, "I love you". And we followed our rule that day and... and you can tell. The last fight we had, the day he walked out the door, you know what neither of us stopped to tell each other? (regretful look to John) We're always gonna have our fights and I'm always gonna worry about my baby, but I am never gonna let you walk out that door again without telling you I love you.

Perhaps after seeing Henry's ghost she regretted not saying aloud, "I love you."

But on closer inspection, she says "find a way to tell each other." So, perhaps that, while Henry was prone to love letters/poetry/grand gestures of love and duty (i.e. his idealistic choice of MoL work), Millie may have told him in other ways. Through care, small acts, or nonverbal cues.

Like in the goodbye scene. With her eyes.

[spnwin-reader]

Loss in common:

Enter Millie, The Prickly-but-Hopeful Fixer

[We note that, even after all this time, Millie's building carries the MoL Aquarian star of protection, and it's still Winchester Garage, not...whatever-her-maiden-name is.]

When we first meet Millie, she's bitter. As the one who "kept the lantern on," "the one who stayed," she's hurt and defensive, a lot like how Dean grows to be in latter seasons of SPN.

(Even post-demonicity, Dean is still expected to be the soft place to fall for everyone. Even after Jack kills Mary, Cas has this expectation of Dean's soft-heartedness: "it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.")

Anyway, Millie!

Her reunion with John is part passive-aggressive but loving. We see that Millie, like Dean, has intense abandonment trauma. She speaks abrasively-but-affectionately. She calls John "Kid, Kiddo, etc." which was a go-to with Dean for both Claire Novak and Jack Kline.

JOHN: Love what you've done with the place. MILLIE (passive-aggressive): Well, my husband and son walked out on me, so. It's the best I could do. (growing emotional) Dammit. Welcome home, Kiddo.

Gruff, abrasive, imperfect? Maybe. But full of love.

Alt John and Millie are united by the common loss of Henry, just as Prime John, Sam, and Dean were united by the common loss of Mary.

John thinks Henry walked out on them, but I think Millie is likely more complex. With her tacit knowledge of the Men of Letters, I think it's reasonable that she at least suspects that he might be dead.

What does that tell us about her? It tells us that the loss of Henry was unbelievably painful--it's probably easier for her to consider he left than the very likely truth: his demise.

She's a fixer. That's what she does.

She holds out hopeless hope.

JOHN: I'm fine, Mom. MILLIE: The Hell you are. You've been chasing your dad since he walked out that door. I know that's why you enlisted. But it is time to let the past go, kiddo.

But Millie isn't healed either. She hasn't let the past go, even as she pursues her dream of being a mechanic and owning a garage (like her father). Letting the past go hasn't helped her heal.

In fact, carrying on hunting and the MoL business is what seems to soothe her loss, giving her new meaning and purpose. Millie and John's push-pull dynamic with hunting is much like how it was with Ellen and Jo Harvelle.

///

But overall, we see what Henry's absence wrought. It's just as Henry feared in SPN Prime (9x17 Mother's Little Helper):

HENRY: Therein lies the problem. As our initiation grows closer, I... I worry that this might be a selfish endeavor on my part. JOSIE: Selfish. How? HENRY: If anything were to happen to me, what of John? Millie? JOSIE: They'd be proud to know that you answered the call. HENRY: No. My wife would be a widow, and my son fatherless. I don't expect you to understand. You don't have a fam--[he pauses] I'm sorry, Josie. I didn't mean it that way. JOSIE: I know, Henry. You're a good man. Millie is lucky to have you.

This directly parallels Cas and his allegiance to his work, Heaven, (Heaven is a truck, and Cas is a truck-driver; Dean thinks he's Josie when he's actually Millie).

It also beings to mind the visual of ("little John") Jack's entrance as he wanders around muttering, "Father. Fa-ther. Father. I need to find him. Castiel. He was supposed to be here," while looking for his long-expected, lost father in 13x01 Lost and Found.

But it's also an off-key parallel to prime John, who would become as Millie was, a bereft widower in the cold, floundering and ill-equipped to handle the dangers of the supernatural world.

///

Enter Mary, Action Hero

(Note: Mary's got a short range, so I love how she uses speed to her advantage to get larger targets off-balance.)

///

And importantly, John...is NOT allowed to look cool. It's a RULE. He's a dorky...little...guy.

Mary knocks the demon into a blessed holy water vat, a call-forward to something prime John will do in SPNprime 01x21 Salvation.

//

When Alt John and Alt Mary meet:

Mary's father has been absent (missing) from her life for a short time, and John's father Henry has been absent for most of his life, just as when Dean and Cas meet, theirs too is a tale of missing fathers. Cas's father was absent for all of his life, and Dean's flaky dad has been gone for a (relatively) short time. It also very obviously parallels Sam and Dean searching for their missing father.

When they break inside the Men of Letters clubhouse, Mary keys into John's emotions about his father. This reminds me of of the first time Dean keyed in really hard to Cas's emotions in 5x16.

///

JOHN: How do you cope with it all? MARY (wryly, jokingly): I'll let you know when I find out. (SPNwin 1x01)

//

DEAN: Yeah, I get it. I know how you feel. CASTIEL: How do you manage it? DEAN (wryly, jokingly): On a good day, you get to kill [The Whore of Babylon]. (SPN 5x17)

///

Recent losses of friends & family:

Additionally, Mary and John have both suffered recent losses. Mary lost her narrative twin Maggie, and John lost his comrade Murph to war.

[Mary's cousin went to Hell, just as Sam's brother went to Hell in season in vintage and mid-SPN.] Mary's hunting family was torn asunder, parents separating.

And John? WIth war, John signed up to fill a void left by his father, to find meaning in life.

We can even recall Dean's words to Gordon in 2x03 Bloodlust, how Dean struggled with the idea of "The Invincible Dad" and how his death made the word more terrifying, how it left a wound of depression inside of him that he sought to fill with meaning through work:

DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, you know. He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that (snaps) he's gone. I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. (clears throat) But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this - GORDON: Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job.

Dean lost his dad, and Gordon lost his sister. This emptiness is depression. John lost his dad and suffered that loss all his life. He signed up to the war for the GLORY OF PURPOSE. He didn't sign up to the war for more pain and grief, but that's exactly what he got.

What's the thing Dean can't fill up, not with booze or love or even sex? It's grief and pain. It can only be filled with love, which is what Cas's confession narratively does in 15x18.

It's also what Mary's love and the love of the Core 4 will eventually do for John.

///

SPN Prime season 8 side-parallel: Connections of recent grief ALSO calls to mind season 8, how Sam connected with Amelia when they had both suffered a loss, Sam lost his narrative twin to Purgatory and Amelia lost her husband to war.

Theirs was a fast-paced reactionary relationship born of grief, something that pinged and annoyed Amelia's father, leading him to be very passive-aggressive with Sam. (Her father was a dick, but he's both a soldier himself and does know her best and probably has her best interests in mind. He recognized that was Amelia mid-freakout, OOC. He pings that her out-of-characterness is a weird reaction to grief).

He was right to be concerned about the shallowness and stability of it. These types of reactionary relationships are well-known: they can be very shaky, melodramatic, idealized, and weak when stress-tested.

Sam (and vintage Dean) both have this tendency to be all-in or all-out when it comes to The Cause. Neither strike a balance very easily. They tend to either be ALL IN for the Perfect War with Perfect War Companions at Your Side...or rushing into something tenuous that represents a weak idea that winds up unsatisfying because it's not genuine: Perfect White Picket Fence or Howling-at-the-Moon Dishibitory Party Life.

In SPNwin, John is doing a lot of running, too. He rushes into the thing with Betty (weak and tenuous), then he rushes into war, he rushes into hunting, and he runs into the relationship with Mary.

This theme of Running into Danger / Running From Danger persists. John certainly struggles with it, BUT in a departure from his past behavior, this new thing with Mary gets a lot of stress-testing, eventually moving from limerence into turbulence, power struggle, and de-idealization. (SPNwin 1x12, The Tears of a Clown)

///

SO.

Mary and her ragtag gang of friends embark on a journey to look for the missing Samuel Campbell the way Sam and Dean look for the errant John Winchester, the way the Banes twins look for their mother Tasha Banes in Twigs, Twine, & Tasha Bane.

Certainly the core 4 are all "running scared" and clinging to one another, having all lost loved ones in a variety of ways. They are united in empathy over their respective losses:

John (dad, comrades)

Mary (narrative sibling, missing dad, splintered family and parental separation)

Carlos (whole family killed by a monster)

Lata (no-contact with her family because they allowed her beloved nanny to die; nonsensical/cruel hierarchy of human society)

Ada (husband lost to madness, son potentially a puppy-destined-to-be-wolf)

And finally we get Henry's letter:

If you're reading this, then I'm gone. I'm sorry I kept the truth from you, John. There's a dangerous world out there, and our family has fought that danger for centuries. The answers to all your questions are at the address below. I love you and your mother. Always.

I think this idea of Henry Winchester as a secret-keeper, and as Mary-prime as a secret-keeper fed into what we know about John-prime turned into: a neuroses of paranoia and over-preparedness.

But thanks to Dean, Alt John has some new tools to work through this: knowledge. Even his anger is useful, openly telling his mother how disappointed and betrayed he feels over being kept in the dark. For her part, she gives him her emotional truth: that she only wanted to protect him.

It's the first healing step for both of them.

[shallowrambles]

OOF. Imaginary lovers never turn you down.

This is one of Dean's Harper-coded neuroses for sure.

I think because John was hot-and-cold caretaker, Dean is very...insecurely attached. Even as a child, we see him balking at Sam seeking college, to the point of accidentally smothering the dreams on occasion, and pressuring even when tries to be "sorta okay with it." (Like how we see him in Drag Me Away from You)

///

So anyway, it's a neurosis I love love love to see. Dean will use phrases like, "This isn't really you," and occasionally always-and-never statements whenever he's glomped on a brand new ally to fulfill the fantasy of "never letting him down / disappointing him." SUPERMAN, even. That old hero worship.

But much like with Harper Sayles, even Vance isn't Vance! And so, none of Dean's idealized figures are really them either. He struggles with balancing trust and instinct. (Note: This is how all relationships tend to work. It's what's so LOVELY about Dean growing through these imperfections. He gets older and wiser. "He can try to get better, every day.")

He eventually starts to accept the mistakes of his loved ones: Sam, Mary, Cas. HIMSELF. We see in s15 when he insists he always "knew Chuck was squirrelly" when he clearly didn't. Dean is so used to being right about people/intuition, it's REALLY had to swallow when he's dead wrong. "I didn't wanna admit I was wrong." (He got played by Crowley, by Cain, then Chuck. It sucks to get manipulated so thoroughly!)

///

Anyway. This theme of imperfection, of seeing one another is even what's driving SPNwin.

It asks the question: "What if mom and dad had been REALLY able to truly see one another?"

///

ANYWAY, this stuck out to me!!! I don't know if I want it to be a meta or not, so it goes on the vent blog instead...

IN SEASON 10, Dean is spiraling and running. It doesn't matter who. He's disinhibited, used as a pawn to ensure a "rich man's" continued place as ruler, just as Michael would have used him as a sword to win a war/maintain power.

In season 9-10, Dean is vulnerable. He's reeling from rejection and being shunned for his mistakes. This makes so much sense in the terms of the scripted season 8, with Dean saying "I love you" and getting rejected by Cas, and then again for trying to save Sam's life and “trusting the wrong person" the way Cas (in parallel) trusted Metatron to try to protect others…

After spending all of season 8 coming to terms with the imperfections of his family and loosening up on some of his rigid expectations, after dealing with the complexity of both his little brother AND his would-be love interest, it all blows up in Dean’s face.

Itssooooooooo

//

-> Dean was rejected by his bro for trying to do the right thing, for trying an experimental treatment to save his life, which lead to both the unintended rejection of Cas and Kevin's death. (Sam will later "get Charlie killed" in his attempts to save Dean with ....an experimental hail-Mary.)

-> And in season 9, Cas got back into the Angel war, and Dean didn't like him being a military man again, fearing that it would be Groundhog day all over again. And so, Dean continued to spiral. He was continually paralleled with both Josie Sands-Henry relationship and Josie's shadow self, Abbadon, a knight of Hell, a shrieking wrathful pain.

Dean is become like knight of Hell Abaddon herself at first, before later reversing course to parallel another knight of Hell: Cain.

//

I think of this like Dean's reversal power arc. Dean is become like Rowena: I'll never be powerless again. And his whole world reverses: he gets to call out Sam for the evil Sam is doing, Sam gets to be the one who makes mistakes when trying to save him, and Cas gets the "wife" treatment instead of the war husband one.

Dean is the one to beat Cas up for once, and Cas is one of the characters who gets the brunt of Dean's brutality, because Cas is the one who hurt him the most.

Which brings me to this. Oof. Imaginary people. Imaginary lovers. Escape to the fantasy world. It doesn't matter WHO. Just keep running.

In season 9-10, Dean escapes more fully into a more extreme version of his season 8 neuroses, a world where no one lets him down, except this time he's flipping from imaginary person to person, searching for anyone that "won't let him down."

And guess what? The world still does. And Dean's tired already. Chasing freedom didn't free him or bring contentment.

With the toiling work of Hell on his tail, he runs again, this time to Anne-Marie, who despite his demonness and Crowley's ire, Dean seems to be catching feelings for. Crowley clocks it right away: "Damanged. I can see the old you falling for that."

(Because Dean already is. His humanity is a glimmer, but it's still there. We'll see it in demon Dean’s dispatchment of Lester rather than his assigned target, the wife.)

And more than that, Crowley misunderstands Dean's whole deal: that he is simply running. Running, running, running. Anyone will do.

"Somewhere else.” He says this to Anne-Marie. In a way Dean’s running is checking out of life, a bit like season 7 Cas (nihilism/existential crisis) and season 8 Sam (white picket fence as purely escapism).

But you can't run from yourself.

Dean's humanness hangs on, even in the midst of his Hell tasks, and his humanness persists even in seedy bars with random women-he-should-feel-nothing-for. It is a vexing thing.

He's supposed to feel nothing, to be a rolling stone.

And he isn't.

///

And Dean himself has been a little bit like Anne-Marie herself. It's an old wound by this point, but I see it as a nod to the whole Cas-Raphael thing.

Dean was so busy spiraling over Cas being in danger in s8-10 that he never had time to process all of what happened with Cas’s betrayal. He's still hurt.

And with s9 Cas rejoining the angels, though understandable and well-intentioned...it opened that old vein.

& things like this are in parallel too.

Cause Cas was saying he was doing it for Dean...and then he kept going, punishing Heaven. (There are real feelings for Dean in the mix, but nothing is singular…it’s always tied up in other things.)

I disagree with Metatron in saying that Cas “in love with humanity” solely explained his actions. Yes, Cas is motivated by protecting his human fam, but there have been incredible moments where he wanted to punish the other angels, where he inflicted unnecessary violence on demons (like the demon looting and fleeing Hell in 15x03 The Rupture.

Demon Dean’s “I protected your honor, didn't I?" sounds a lot to me like, Cas’s “Has any but your closest kin ever done more for you?"

Cas did all that for him, or so he said, and yet...

///

Because imho what was going one with Cas wasn't solely about protecting his human family.

There's other complicated stuff in the mix.

It was also about the feelings of betrayal BY Heaven. (Which is why he didn't even trust his own rebel angels!) Cas was utterly rejected by Heaven, MURDERED without a thought by Raphael.

Cas gave into his authoritarianism because he was angry. He was emotional and he was channeling that. They need a firm hand because he loves them. You know, like the specter of pizza man and the babysitter.

///

And yeah, it’s okay that Dean hasn't fully reckoned with that. Dean in s9 said, “Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay?" Anne-Marie...she almost...echoes that sentiment when she said “I thought you were a good guy playing bad.”

It's off-key, but it's...similar somehow.

I love that Cas toppled from the Superman pedestal, hitting at Dean's emotional interiority and challenges in the most extreme example possible!

I feel like Lily Sunder flirts with the shadow version of this, because when she first met Ishim, she thought he was PERFECT, too.

It's not one-to-one, but it sure as Hell is getting at Dean's "Cas makes so many mistakes" anxieties, which AU Michael will tap into, too!

But mistake-making IS humanity! AU Michael doesn't get that. (Metatron eventually will. "Sure they lie and they cheat and they steal...but they never give up. YOU do!")

///

So back to Anne-Marie. When she calls Dean on his deeper issues, he:

DEAN: *belittles her judgment and demeans her, calling her a skank* ANNE-MARIE: I'm so screwed up myself. I'm gonna walk out of here thinking I actually deserved that.

This conversation is a a little like this one, where Cas belittles Dean's human status. It's not *skank* but he does call him *just a man.*

CAS: You're just a man.

Anyway, when Dean starts becoming enamored with Anne-Marie, he's not only clinging to humanity, not only starting to love even when he isn’t supposed to be able to (another Cas parallel), he’s doing his own version of soul-searching, seeing himself in someone else.

But because this is his reversal arc, where HE has the power, he gets to be in Cas's more powerful position here and he gets to lecture Sam.

(Until Amara, ofc, where he will abruptly flip to a powerless default.)

ALSO!!!! There’s this swirling painful question of being nothing more than an EXCUSE to do violence…or used as THE MUSE to give another false person’s work “more importance.”

Dean is afraid he is both for Cas.

I mean. Cas left after season 5, after a weird convo where Dean tries to figure out if Cas plans to stay and/or cares about him by “fishing” for info.

Cas also left in season 8 to go and lock up Heaven behind him forever, etc etc.

Dean worries that he’s more muse than loved one. A banner to wave in the war. An excuse. Inspirational, at best.

///

And Dean is working through his defense mechanisms. And like I said, idealization is a normal part of most relationships.

It usually occurs in the early phases and signals immaturity. But choosing to move past these phases, choosing to stay with people and keep striving can be a wonderful theme of resilience, even if in SPN does it in extreme strokes.

///

And then we get MARY, the motherload of Dean's idealization.

In season 15, when Dean says, "My mom is my hero," he means it in a different way to his early idealizations. He means warts and all! It’s so great!

///

Which is why I love Optimism SOOOOOooooo much. You get Harper, who struggles with similar things...and we get that dynamic scene of her crowing about perfection is contrasted with Dean's wisdom he's giving to Jack!

BONUS thoughts:

Cas, Raphael, and Dean, and the triangle with Dean, Hell, and Anne-Marie reminds me of this SPNwin scene:

Ah, yes, another fave motif. The John-Cas-Jack boxing motif.

Anyhoo, we have John saying he wants to PROTECT Mary...to KEEP HER FROM DYING. He's doing this to protect her.

And...

Yeah, sometimes I will kiss Robbie on the mouth.

BONUS BONUS thought: in SPNprime, Mary does the same thing for her kids....resonating with John's journal and his fear. Mary dives head-first into trying to eradicate ALL the danger...to win the ENTIRE war so her sons can be safe.

(Aside///Samuel C does this in SPNwin too...with the box that would eat up all the evil in the world.)

I love the theme. Mary nearly destroys the thing she was wanting to protect in the first place. (Like Henry. Like John and his boys. Like so many others.)

BONUS:

It's not either/or! For the matter, why is it peace OR freedom, never both!

[typicalopposite]

W.I.P. Ask Game!

tagged by: @meraki-yao <3

Ask me anything about my WIPs! :)

(just like... be prepared... there's a lot... and I'm not even going to post them ALL! These are the ones I want to get up by 2025!)

Works Started

Shassie Fic

Psych fic! It's going to read like a 5+1 fic but with an added +2 lol! Just a chapter for each season starting with them pining and eventually getting together! Think the Shules timeline but Shassie instead... with some scene changes missing scenes episode swaps and all that! I swear I'll have a better summary when I post it!!!

you still haven't noticed (oh but baby, I have)

RWRB Fic. I have been sharing the snippets from lately. Another 5+1 fic (I love them ok!) about Alex noticing things about Henry through the their relationship. Gonna have a lil bit of angst because... well just because.

Happy Birthday to Me!

RWRB Fic. This was supposed to be written on my birthday... it didn't happen! but since their birthdays are in March... hopefully I get it up this month!

no one's more mystified than Shaan

RWRB Fic. ANOTHER 5+1 fic! Shaan POV. It's going to be part of the Zahraverse series, and will be kind of a parallel to the Zahra Deserves A Raise fic!

first rule of fight club

RWRB Fic. BAMF Henry! The jist? A guy punches Henry and Henry learns how to fight so it doesn't happen again.

Baby Mine

RWRB Fic. Kid fic. Henry and Ellen bond over baby June! :D very very cutesy very very fluffy as kid fics should be!

Three Nights

RWRB Fic. Sequel to Three Days!

Rewrite the Stars

RWRB Fic. Amnesia Henry! Amnesia takes place during the polo match.

Desperado

Destiel Fic. Fix it where Dean doesn't die and they retire. Of course Cas gets saved... what do you think I am a monster??

Kiss The Angel

Destiel Fic. Jack goes to the empty to save Castiel. Makes a deal with the Empty that Dean will reciprocate Cas love confession (with the catch of him not remembering Cas' confession) by the time the sun sets on the third day... or the Empty can have him too. Yes its a Little Mermaid themed fic :)

Make it Better

WangXian Fic. 5+1 fic. Five times LWJ uses WuJi on WWX and one time WWX uses it on LWJ! :)

Drunk XiChen Fic

WangXian Fic. Because one drunk Twin Jade of Lan is not enough apparently.

(boy, I am killing it with these summaries... I KNOW!)

Practical Cultivation

WangXian Fic. A Practical Magic themed fic! :)

Sympathy For the Devil's Spawn

Lucifer Fic. Season 6 fix it! Rory is stuck in a hell loop (the whole she goes back to confront her dad, makes him "abandon" her, rinse and repeat BS that was the series ending) but in reality he was there and a part of her life and HAPPY, but she thought she ruined his life by being born so she goes to hell to learn about him and gets trapped in a hell room :)

just a little while

Gallavich Fic. Gallavich take Liam after the series finale and are amazing uncles to Franny and Frank! its just a cute fic with some angst! I will finish it soon i SWEAR

IDEAS!

Arthur POV

RWRB Fic. probably will be a 5+1 of Arthur finding out about his cancer and spending time with his family up to the end. or something sappy shit like that!

The Puppy Trap

RWRB Fic. Yes another David fic with The Parent Trap theme!!

Henry and Oscar Fic

RWRB Fic. SOOOOOO what if they like bond over losing their dads.... that sounds bittersweet and delicious... right?? :)

Nutcracker Fic

RWRB Fic. @meraki-yao this one is for you! <3 and like... is self explainatory.

NoteBook Fic

RWRB Fic. Again self explanatory. Angst and angst and so much ANGST! but in a good way!

Practical Cultivation FirstPrince

RWRB Fic. I don't even know how to make this work... but I need to make this work!

Clap Your Hands If You Believe

WangXian Fic. Think how the kids bring Tinkerbell back to life... but make it WWX and restoring his golden core! :)

AAAND I think thats all... omg Imma have carpel tunnel from typing this!!!!

No Pressure Tagging: @onthewaytosomewhere @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @scripted-downfall and @taste-thewaste <3

[angelsdean]

So this is bit random, a bit serendipitous but, I was very captivated by the charged moments in yesterday's Spirit of the West Daily, and the parallels between the huge forceful storm and the growing, overwhelming (and yet unidentified—at least by Dean) feelings between Dean and Cas. The recurring lighting strikes seeming to highlight the electricity between them, the way the storm itself moves them closer together, nature pushing them into a intimate space, giving them the opportunity to literally peel back layers and see more of each other than they have before, heightening those charged feelings and unknown desires.

And then this morning I was on the Poetry Foundation site looking for something else and saw an article on the home page with a header image of a horse and, with SOTW still on the brain, I was like Oh! Horse! What is this? So I read the article, which is about the poet Henri Cole's collection of sonnets (whose cover features the horse, and the horse recurs throughout many of the poems). The article explored Cole's use of the sonnet form and how the sonnet creates a space to explore unresolved questions and ideas.

Cole's central theme / question in many of his sonnets is between the push and pull of the self and the natural world and the self + desire.

Which just got my brain making all sorts of associations and linking back to SOTW, especially that line: "framing the natural world as a portal to speak toward longing or yearning."

The storm is that portal. The storm is the visual representation of those charged and churning feelings.

I was already feeling queer feelings just reading some of the excerpts of Cole's poems in this article, like the one from the sonnet collection's titular poem, "Gravity and Center":

(this poem also begins "I'm sorry I cannot say I love you when you say / you love me" which just. Destiel goggles on!)

Anyway, I wasn't familiar with Henri Cole before this and figured I'm just reading too much into some of these lines / had Destiel on the brain / + my own queer feelings.

but then,

same-sex desires<3 I love when our hearts just match, when words just resonate, even before Knowing.

also these lines, definitely evoke images of John Winchester

Lastly, I really loved this closing line from Cole about the writing process. Sometimes it is like that, indeed!

Anyway, I am SO sorry for putting on my English Major hat here and writing a mini essay😅 but I thought the connections to nature and desire were interesting and maybe you (or anyone else reading this) might enjoy Cole's poetry if you aren't already familiar with it @urne-buriall

[docpiplup]

The Bastard Kings and their families

This is series of posts are complementary to this historical parallels post from the JON SNOW FORTNIGHT EVENT, and it's purpouse to discover the lives of medieval bastard kings, and the following posts are meant to collect portraits of those kings and their close relatives.

In many cases it's difficult to find contemporary art of their period, so some of the portrayals are subsequent.

1) Ferdinand III of Castile (1199/1201 – 1252), son of Alfonso IX of Leon and his wife Berenguela I of Castile

2) Alfonso IX of Leon (1171 – 1230), son of Ferdinand II of Leon and his wife Urraca of Portugal; with Berenguela I of Castile (1179/ 1180 – 1246), daughter of Alfonso VIII of Castile and his wife Eleanor of England

3) Blanche of Castile (1188 – 1252), daughter of Alfonso VIII of Castile and his wife Eleanor of England

4) Henry I of Castile (1204– 6 June 1217), son of Alfonso VIII of Castile and his wife Eleanor of England

5) Urraca of Castile (1186/ 1187 – 1220), daughter of Alfonso VIII of Castile and his wife Eleanor of England

6) Ferdinand of Leon (ca. 1192 – 1214), son of Alfonso IX of Leon and his wife Theresa of Portugal

7) Elisabeth of Swabia (1205 – 1235), daughter of Philip of Swabia and Irene Angelina

8) Alfonso X of Castile (1221 – 1284), son of Ferdinand III of Castile and his wife Elisabeth of Swabia

9) Philip of Castile (1231- 1274), son of Ferdinand III of Castile and his wife Elisabeth of Swabia

10) Eleanor of Castile (1241- 1290) daughter of Ferdinand III of Castile and his wife Joan of Ponthieu: with Edward I of England ( 1239 – 1307), son of Henry III of England and his wife Eleanor of Provence

Note: The marriage of Alfonso IX's parents got also annulled/declared void due to consanguinity, but I didn't include him on the list because this example is already present in Ferdinand III & IV

[ananke-xiii]

(the following is an unchecked stream of consciousness and I can’t guarantee any logic or sense but hear me out anyway)

A few weeks ago I saw this post about Raphael that made me go “oh, how very Macbeth!”. Since then my brain couldn’t stop looking for Shakespearean traces in the writing of SPN and the most obvious thing to think about was S11 and “Henry V”. I was simultaneously thinking about the mark of Cain and its meaning in relation to the themes of exile and imprisonment when I thought: what if S10 is a bit like "The Tempest"? Ngl, I kinda dig my own personal parallel because it confirmed an old theory of mine (Rowena shares some similarities with the “Evil Mother” par excellence, Medea) and it accidentally made me think of Rowena in completely new terms: Rowena is an exile, she’s stateless, always a foreigner and an outcast.

I had never put 2 and 2 together but Medea is also an exile and a foreigner and it’s exactly the threat to be exiled from Corinth that led her to the extreme act of killing her sons. That and a copious dose of revenge against her husband, Jason. You see, now we have two themes pertaining to parenthood, revenge and exile, that interest me a lot. Truth be told, I’m lately thinking about parenthood and its hardships/failings in relation to another show but I think that there is, perhaps, something that I can explore in SPN too.

If you think about it, who else in the show is a parent and a metaphorical exile in quest of revenge? Yeah, exactly him: the one and only John Winchester.

Is, maybe, John Winchester like Medea via Rowena? I think he can be in a figurative sense. While Medea flees her country with Jason, her partner, John self-exiles himself (and his sons) because his partner has been killed. While Medea kills her sons out of revenge because Jason has re-married and wants them gone, John figuratively sacrifices his own sons in his crazy pursuit of Mary’s killer.

It’s a tenuous parallel but I think there are one or two things here something worth exploring: first of all, single, exile-like parents and their relationship with their children; secondly, the bond between partners/spouses is so strong to the point that, if one of them “fails” the other, the consequences can be tragic.

I like this angle because it gives me room to expand the “family is hell” vs “found family” theme of the series. As far as I’ve personally seen, the theme is always talked about taking into account the perspective of the children and their relationship with their parental figures. However, it very much applies to partners/spouses too, aka to the families one marries into.

If I think about some of the main characters in SPN who also have a parental role (apart from John, Mary and Rowena, of course) I think of Bobby (single putative father after the death of his wife), Jody (single putative mother after the death of her husband and child), Linda (single mother), Amelia (single mother after the “death” of her husband) and, obviously, Kelly.

Unfortunately, without her knowing, Kelly “marries” the “family is Hell” thesis in quite the literal terms, since, you know, she’s pregnant with Lucifer’s son. However, her son Jack half-chooses, half-finds himself in a “found family” in quite the literal terms, since, you know, Sam and Dean do, indeed, find him in “Lost and Found”. Jack’s chosen father Castiel, in turn, eventually finds himself comfortable in this weird family of theirs and, this time, there are no single parents: Jack has quite a lot of parental/mentor/supportive figures around him. And this is still not fucking enough because Cas is so afraid of losing his family that he still feels the need to take all responsibilities upon himself.

In this light, a subterranean family-related theme in the series is partners/spouses failing at being precisely that: partners/spouses. It’s not just about fathers who are absent and mother who are dead. It’s also not about the failings of a nuclear-type of family with two parents because even the “it takes a village”-type of family has its own failings. Lots of problems find their roots not so much in the parent-children axis but in the partners/spouses one. Which means that adult people fail/are unable to communicate with their chosen family, aka their partner, because they’re scared… of losing them.

Partners/spouses in SPN either have lost their consorts (the people with whom they share their fate) or they’re scared to death of losing them.  A family-related theme that comes out is that of the partner who marries into the spouse’s family and who’s then left… alone. A figurative and sometimes literal exile.

Ah! the macbethian aspect of Supernatural is actually quite cool, too bad we don't have actual screentimes of deranged couples being deranged together!

[sosaysdean]

How was the episode?

uneventful unless ur really into cameos but also it had a destiel parallel or whatever that makes me wanna bash my head against the wall

[whisperdean]

big edenatural big edenatural big edenatural

[my-deer-history]

The John Laurens walking tour of London

On my recent trip to London, I took a walk through the centre of the city, retracing the steps that John Laurens would have taken while he was living and studying law there. London’s outward appearance has changed immensely over the intervening 250 years, but its underlying structure and streets are all just as they were, and a few of the historic landmarks remain.

St Mary Axe

I shall drink Tea, in St Mary Axe this afternoon, and give advice of the Bill, &ca as you desire_

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 20 April 1775

Starting from the furthest east is the street of St Mary Axe - notable for two locations. The first is the home of the Manning family. Henry had asked William Manning to keep an eye on his sons when he left London, so John was a frequent visitor for dinner, and his brothers often stayed with the Mannings when they weren’t at school.

The other landmark on St Mary Axe is St Andrew Undershaft, the church where John and Martha got married, and where Frances was baptised.

Source

Birchin Lane

I am writing in a great hurry as you may see, in the Carolina Coffee House

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 1 March 1775

25 Birchin Lane was the location of the Carolina Coffee House - the London meeting place, social club and administrative centre for Carolinians in London. Business and personal correspondence sent to Carolina natives living in London would usually be directed here. John spent his fair share of time here - socialising (and arguing), writing letters, and picking up or dropping off packets for posting.

Chancery Lane

how delightful is it to Sit here talking to my Son in Chancery Lane

Henry Laurens to John Laurens, 22 January 1775

Chancery Lane was - and remains - one of hubs of the legal profession in London. It leads to Lincoln’s Inn, the oldest and biggest of the four inns of court (then, as now, legal schools for the training of barristers), housed the crown rolls (records of the crown court), and was the home of many lawyers in the city. That included Charles Bicknell, the lawyer with whose family John lived for most of his time in London.

Street numbers were rarely used in the 18th century, but I think I’ve narrowed down where on the street John lived in this post here.

Middle Temple

To morrow I shall take [Harry] to the Temple Church with me, where my Bond requires me to attend

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 5 November 1774

John was enrolled at the Middle Temple for his legal studies. To “keep term” - in other words, meet the requirements of the school and complete one of his twelve required academic terms - John had to attend a certain number of dinners at Middle Temple Hall, which dates back to Elizabethan times.

(Fun fact - Middle Temple Hall is closed to the public, but you can go there for lunch on certain days if you pre-book! Highly recommended.)

He was also required to attend church services at Temple Church, a beautiful 12th-century church built by the Knights Templar and jointly owned by the Inner and Middle Temples.

Fludyer Street and St James’s Park

these are hard lines my Son, but not too hard for us to walk on, necessity has no Law_ remember our Conversation in St James's Park

Henry Laurens to John Laurens, 8 January 1776

When Henry and his sons first arrived in London in 1771, they stayed little further west, in what was once the separate town of Westminster. The street they lived on - Fludyer Street, which ran parallel to Downing Street - no longer exists, though you can see it marked on old maps (bottom right, leading out onto St James's Park).

Fludyer Street led straight to St James’s Park, where the Laurens family frequently took walks.

Detail from Canaletto's New Horse Guards from St James’s Park (1753)

[shallowseeker]

No, see.

John would at some point suck up to and try to commiserate with Cas, but Cas absolutely has the ability to trigger John by doing to John what he did to the boys (and indeed what Cas has done to some of his fellow soldiers): keeping John in the dark and going radio silent at the worst times.

It'd not only give John a dose of his own medicine, but it would trigger the worst times of his life, too:

(a) Mary not trusting him enough to tell him the truth and give him a fighting chance to protect the family together...

AND

(b) Henry ghosting him and under-preparing him for the monsters in the world. In SPNwin, this fear is on full display: he's shown to be jealous of how well Samuel prepared and trained Mary in episode 3.

AND I think... Cas has... almost an idealism(?) that is akin to Henry's mission-oriented worldview. Cas is a lot more Campbell-coded in his utility and "brawn" and "the muscle" comparisons. But the idealism and wanting to make a better world? I think that's very harmonizing between Cas and Henry, actually.

Aside////

Not to mention that John's last memory of Henry is a man khaki overcoat leaving him to fend for himself in what he would soon discover is a terrifying, awful, scary world...

[spnwin-reader]

Henry is like Cas in terms of belonging to a "higher" social class, sure (insomuch that Heaven > Men of Letter > Hunters), but Henry's actually a lot like Mick Davies or any of Heaven's intelligence guys (Ion, Naomi, etc.).

Henry didn't get his hands dirty. You know: "his adventures are usually more of a literary nature."

Cas is more akin' to Arthur Ketch in terms of his brutal role. Cas was Heaven's results guy as Ketch was the British MOL's results guy. The soldier. Their attack dog.

Who does the dirty work with brutal efficiency.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL: Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel – it sounds pleasant. DEAN: It's not, trust me. It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant. (7x17)

[shallowrambles]

A bad Dean, "Abbadon."

So after seeing how closely some of Henry's and Cas's words line up, in some cases almost word-for-word…

I've been thinking a lot about the spectre of Josie Sands...and the initial shadow self to Josie: the OG knight of Hell, Abaddon.

Abbadon seized on Josie's sacrificial sense of love to defeat enemies and secure her position in Hell, the way Crowley will seize on Dean's self-sacrifice for his fam and loved ones to secure his Hell position.

And idk, it's just so interesting as a lead-in to how I think of Dean's next arc, which is a reversal of power. Cas gets to get the idealized role of Dean, reading ppl and taking care: talking almost like a thematic narrator at times, a mouthpiece for "killing of innocents" and "not becoming a monster", a de facto “wife” with (clown college?) Colette (Colt?) treatment. Sam gets to do the ballad of the Campbell "my-way-of-the-highway," taking extremes to keep his family safe.

When Dean moves to the Cain parallel and enters his full-on reversal arc, Charlie gets killed, and it's "Sam's fault," the way that Kevin getting killed was "Dean's fault." It's notably reversed. (Albeit in a Sam fashion, with more, uh, "Sam-typical" strategies.)

////

Anyway, back to Dean and the mark. After knocking out Crowley's enemy, Dean will continue on a failed crusade to save Cas from his enemy, Metatron. The implication is that defeating Metatron will get the angels home, and maybe even release Cas from his work obligations. Obligations which Dean has been, once more, struggling with.

///

Anyway. Abaddon could indeed be a "shadow" Josie, a stand-in for her worst self: her darkest, deepest jealousy. Josie is actually a lot like Hannah. She's a figure that is "more like Henry." She's in Henry's social class, higher ranking, "more equal" and "closer to him" through work.

Josie is committed to the cause (like Cas's lieutenant Rachel was), and she entices the Henry away from Millie and John, the way Hannah takes Cas away from his human family.

I mean, there's also this whole line running through SPN that we need work and work gives us purpose, but it can spiral into meaninglessness when it takes us away from our loved ones. (Hunting functions the same way. Live to work; work to live etc etc.)

Anyway, BOTH Josie and Hannah try to renew his loyalties to career and underline to him how important his work is:

//

Back in season 9, Dean is weird at the sight of Hannah, and Sam shoots Dean a weird side-eye for it. Feeling like an outsider, and bristling at seeing the work that "takes Cas away from them," at being in Cas's "frat bro world" again, Dean immediately jumps to trying to show off his and Sam's skills.

///

SPNwin Millie and Ada.

Seems like women who worked with Henry were a fear of Millie's. After giving (misplaced, presumptive) "parenting advice" to Millie (hi, that's so Sam-coded for her to be a know-it-all here!), Ada puts her whole foot in her mouth, and Millie's back straightens up SO FAST.

But Ada clocks Millie's defensiveness, so underlines that she and Henry just worked together:

Ada is herself a parent, but she was so gloriously annoying in this scene at first. I'm with Millie on Ada's stock advice of John needing more time, more space--that he'd be fine:

"Wow you learn all that from one week on the road with my son?"

Ada recovers with some grace, giving Millie the address where John's staying for her peace of mind, and Millie thanks her for that.

Like the protective jasmine, Millie still loves Henry, so Ada coming out of the gate so ham-fisted was pretty ill-chosen, haha! Poor dear.

Millie's journey will be accepting that Henry made his mistakes (Ada says of Henry in this very convo: "He had his secrets. He made his mistakes." BUT Henry was always motivated by love and wanting to protect them, and Millie makes her peace with that.

The same way Dean makes his peace with Cas wanting to protect him in The Trap in taking on the Mark and in Despair with, "She's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me." There's some tacit acceptance for HOW Cas operates in the last season.

Societal expectations of protection are in the mix. But also fear.

[four-blue-eyes]

This is a screenshot from Cas first scene in Lazaurus Rising (taken from this youtube clip at 0:47 https://youtu.be/fr-zvI4tRBM)

Wait I think there's a lazarus rising flashback in the trailer!

[fallenandthefaithless]

The Winchesters 1x01 - Pilot

So now that a few days have passed and I’ve had some time to think about the episode here are my notes on The Winchesters premiere episode.

PLOT

The plot brings back the s1 framing of searching for a missing father, in this case two missing fathers - Henry and Samuel. Mary and John are both searching for their dads though in different. John is looking for answers while Mary is looking for her dad out of worry. These motives kind of mirror Sam and Dean in S1 - Sam searching for John because he wants answers about Jess’s death and Dean wants to look for John out of concern.

The plot also brings in Ada and I was really happy that she was brought in right away. I guess she’s going to kind of be like Bobby and I’m always surprised when I rewatch SPN at how long it really takes for Bobby to become a regular face so I’m really glad that they brought Ada in at the very beginning. I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get much of Ada but I’m really interested to see where they take her character. So far we’ve had her help both Samuel and Henry with research - Samuel and his research on the demon box and Henry and his research on wraiths. I wonder if there’s something there about the wraiths... I might have to think on that more.

The Vietnam flashbacks have already been related back to Purgatory here and so has the symbolism of the silver in John’s arm - a parallel to both Benny (being in John/Dean’s arm) and the hallucinations of Murphy/Cas. I also think it’s really interesting that it was a religious cross and that John used it as a weapon. Of course there’s the immediate link to Cas because of the cross but the weapon aspect reminded me of how Heaven isn’t soft and kind but the angels are weapons and are “heartless”. 

CHARACTERS

Onto our new scooby gang! Heads up, there’s a strong focus on John in these notes though I briefly touch on all four of our main characters. 

I really like that there’s clearly drama going on between the hunter trio. It really highlights that John has wandered into an established dynamic no matter the arguments they might currently be having. We aren’t told just yet how Mary met Carlos but I do like that it’s been left unsaid just yet. We are told that Lata met Mary through Samuel but we still haven’t been told the full story. We’ve also been told that Carlos has lost his family but I wonder where Lata’s family is. She says when John meets her that her friends call her Lata, or they would if she had friends. Why is she so alone? She seems to have known Maggie which makes me think there’s more to that story than we’ve heard.

Also, speaking of Maggie, she and Mary seemed to have been very close - like sisters. I wonder if Maggie’s father was the unknown uncle who organised Mary’s headstone.

John is being shown to be really friendly and seems to connect with people which is ironic considering in s1 of SPN he had had a falling out with pretty much everyone. And yes, John is being very friendly but I couldn’t help but notice that it seems a bit surface level. In keeping with the parallels with John/Sam and Mary/Dean, John comes across as the “normal” one who can easily bond with people while Mary is the mean one. And yet it’s to Mary that Carlos and Lata have the deeper connection. Yes, they’ve known her for longer but I can’t help but keep coming back to this. I wrote on an earlier post here that John fought alone at the end of the episode whereas Mary, Lata and Carlos worked as a team. Despite Mary wanting to push the others away she still works so well with them.

On this topic, something that stood out in my mind are the coffee scenes. In the first John brings Mary a coffee and jokes with her and she finally tells him her name. This is early on and before John meets the others and it’s framed as him connecting with Mary. Very sweet (unlike her coffee). But in comparison Mary brings the whole team coffee at the end of the episode. She has a moment with John but then also has a moment of connection with both Lata and Carlos. I just find it interesting that John’s moment is so isolated whereas Mary’s is more about bringing the team together as a unit. And yes, I know John has moments with both Carlos and Lata but I couldn’t let that thought go.

Speaking of his moments with Carlos and Lata, he has two with each of them. With Lata the first is when they first met and it’s a little flirty and it’s fun and sweet. With Carlos it’s when he gets John to exorcise the demon and jokes about getting him some new clothes. Both of these are fun and I think offer John a very lighthearted view of these people and their place in the world. Yes it’s dark but look at their bond and he’s so excited by his successful kill at the end of the episode!His second moment with both of are sadder and hint at the reality of their world. Lata is terrified before the hunt and Carlos says he lost his family and he hints at the horror about the hunters life by mentioning how awful the end will be for them.

There’s something I also wanted to note about Mary and her relationships, particularly with Carlos and Latika. Over the course of the episode we see Mary push both of them away, she won’t talk to them, she didn’t want to call Carlos etc. The last fight scene is really important with them. To start with they’re all separated - Mary is with John, Carlos left to go to the van without telling Lata and Lata doesn’t know what to do - but they all come back together and work to save Ada’s life. She reaches out to them both verbally during the coffee scene as I mentioned above which brings them back. I feel as though Mary realising that she cannot do this alone is going to be important to her story.

I cannot wait to see what happens in 1x02 and how these characters dynamics develop. I really want to see how Millie fits into the story. I want to see just how much she really knows. I can’t wait to see more of Ada’s character. And I really hope we see Deanna at some point.

[milfcodeddean]

Thee Babiesnatural Post

Wherein I propose how we could give Dean as many kids as narratively possible. Inspired by a slurry of other posts about things like baby!Jack and baby! Amara this isnt supposed to make narrative sense beyond suspension of disbelief and I refuse to take criticism please consider my URL for my stance on these things. Dabb didn’t do the reading but I did. 

It’s long so it’s under the cut

So it starts with Bobby John the shapeshifter baby and like for whatever reason the alpha shifter doesn’t come or the kill him or whatever and the Campbells are just rubbing Dean the wrong way and the baby has already kind of imprinted on him so Dean realizes that he can’t like drop the kid off an orphanage but also he doesn’t trust most people who know about the supernatural to take care of him. He also thinks about his own childhood and the parts that sucked (moving constantly, j*hn) and the parts that didn’t (time spent at Bobby’s (and other peoples places like pastor Jim but he’s dead so)) and also how in s6 they’ve been kind of based out of Bobby’s half the time anyways at that point so they take the baby there and Bobby is delighted to have a namesake even if he’s initially doubtful. But he’s not gonna hurt deans kid and BJ is a baby. It’s awful to baby proof his house bc books and weapons and for a child that can’t touch silver but they manage a few rooms.

Also it creates a s6 Dean going back and forth between his hunting family including the baby and his civilian family of Lisa and Ben and it’s like a parallel to J*hn and Adam Milligan

Also Claire gets retrieved sooner bc Cas helps with the baby like a time or two and makes some comment about how his vessel had a child and they’re like oh yeah Claire and end up checking in on her situation sooner esp bc Dean is already feeling guilty about Ben so like they get Claire in her early teens

Emma happens. A few ways this could play out 1. Like canon with teenager but Sam doesn’t kill her. Claire gets a sister her age. 2. Because she doesn’t kill her dad the Amazon magic wears off and she’s back to being a baby? 3. She dies and gets found in purgatory

Bobby’s house burning is that much worse bc the baby was there too but Bobby and him both survived it. Dean feels bad turning into his father dragging kids around on the road.

Purgatory. Either finding baby Emma or not. Dean has a lot of bad thoughts about this is where at least 2 of his kids are going when they die. Befriending Benny adds to his inner doubts about morality and monster hunting.

Either Sam has the kids with him and that changes the Amelia thing or he leaves them with someone they know like Jody or Garth etc.

Surface side, Benny who has raised kids, is actually helpful with baby sitting and Claire thinks he’s the coolest bc he’s a real vampire and she doesn’t have any personal trauma related to him. Benny stays surface side and comes back with Sam bc he has actual reasons to live and a support system more and also bc he suggested to Dean that if/when Emma and Bobby-John die, that’s when Benny will get killed and then he’ll take care of them in purgatory .

The bunker is great bc it’s safe and they can put roots down bc the impala is getting a little full and Dean feels guilty about motel rooms. Henry Winchester meets his great grandkids and is delighted that some of them aren’t human bc he’s a MoL

Kevin gets moved in sooner.

Crypt scene- Dean tacks on something about ‘Claire and the kids need you’ in his whole speech. Claire gets very mad about him leaving with the tablet.

When the Krissy thing happens with all those teens and the guy working with vampires Dean tries and maybe successfully convinced her to move into the bunker and go to school in Kansas

Kevin doesn’t die bc gadreel has so many other people around and like I don’t actually know how the gadreel thing would play out like this but also we need Cas to be at the gas n sip

Maybe Cas is still doing his penance thing, maybe he thinks they need more income for that many kids. Maybe they still do the gadreel thing.

Anyways

I hate to fridge a woman but

Gas n sip lady dies and has no connections (why else would she ask her questionable employee to babysit)

Castiel could hand Tanya over to the authorities but also they still have a bunch of baby supplies and really what if angels come after her like they did her mother? Dean just takes one look at Tanya’s face and one look at Cas’s face and says fine and they have a new baby. (tanya post that loosely inspired this) 

This is where plot gets tricky bc I haven’t fully seen past season 9 and a lot of that uhh

Well Abaddon is still a problem and Cas is human and now busy with the new baby so Dean makes the choice to work with Crowley and get the Mark of Cain bc he’s extremely worried about Abaddon coming after his brood.

The kids get sent to Jody’s or Garth’s or just out when the Demon Dean thing happens and like he wouldn’t have hurt them bc isn’t that his line in the sand or whatever my knowledge is vague. But the prisoner scene still happens bc it’s Fun and the Cas and Collette parallel is even heavier bc they’re literally coparents

This is where I can’t specify plot any further

Amara doesn’t magically age but like that other post says Dean feels guilty about her so he takes care of her

Baby Jack bc Jack sees Castiel’s knowledge of Dean with his kids including several nonhuman ones and Jack decided it’s safe enough to be born a baby

This can be widower arc too and Dean is trying not to be his father and won’t let the other kids help bc that’s what he was forced to do but also he’s too exhausted to do anything besides take care of the newborn so Sam and Benny etc are picking up the slack with the other kids which can still be a source of conflict or whatever

Uh Magda moves in with them bc Sam is like if you can bring home stray children I can bring home stray children

Mary has a wild time catching up to life with her babies middle aged and raising monster kids but she adapts

Lebanon is a fun episode bc J*hn is awful and points a gun at Emma bc she flashed her eyes at him and this time it’s Sam who saves her. Something something J*hn says something awful about what he should have done to Sam to stop Dean from thinking monster kids can be saved or smth

Anyways if you think of any more kids I can give Dean or ways late seasons that I haven’t seen would be effected please add on