#like very much 15x18 dungeon vibes

[sosaysdean]

How was the episode?

uneventful unless ur really into cameos but also it had a destiel parallel or whatever that makes me wanna bash my head against the wall

[queerstudiesnatural]

hi baby!!! sorry it took me a while to get back to you, when i first saw your post i immediately put the song on loop to get all the vibes out of it that i could, and then i forgot to come back here to talk about it rip. my brain is like a cartoon back circle, things just pass right through it :/

anyway here's what i think:

the verse you quoted definitely has jimmy vibes, but then that would make it more of a jimmystiel song, and tbh that makes the song pretty dark (to be alone with me as in jimmy gave up his whole life for cas and found himself completely isolated with cas as his only companion until he died).

if you wanna keep it strictly destiel though i think we can read it as a dean pov song. it's a VERY heavily religious song, i'm pretty sure it's about jesus, but that works when you're talking about a literal angel of the lord.

this first verse is about doing the impossible, and giving up your earthly possessions to be with someone. you'd do anything to get them back. this could be dean at pretty much any point in their story where he's been separated from cas. the purgatory arc comes to mind of course, or maybe the time he asked billie to perma kill him in s13 when cas was dead, or it could be post-15x18, dean praying to cas and thinking he'd give anything for cas to be back in the room with him ("to be back again in the rest of the room" as in to be back in a room that has cas in it. to be back in the dungeon before cas got taken by the empty. maybe to do things differently, maybe to tell cas something? 👀)

"you gave your body to the lonely, they took your clothes". if we're thinking visuals (as an amv maker my first thought is always ok what scenes could i use here) i'd go with leviathan arc with the drowning in the lake leaving behind nothing but his coat. cas being naked when daphne found him etc.

however it could be more metaphorical and be about all the times cas sacrificed himself or healed someone even though he was low on grace, or even about the metatron/human cas arc, "they took your clothes" referring to metatron taking his grace.

"you gave up a wife and a family". there's the obvious daphne story arc, cas left her immediately after dean found him as emmanuel. but i think cas giving up a family could be more about heaven and how rebelling against heaven for (or because of) dean cut him off from that family. it must have been so lonely. to leave your millennia-old family for one man.

"you gave your ghost" is a tricky one. i think it's a reference to the holy ghost/spirit but here, again, it could be about cas losing his grace.

now the last line is as you said very dean. i'm thinking, again, post-despair. dean still in disbelief that cas loved him. that anyone loved him that much. he wasn't loved by his own father, but this angel took one look at him and gave up everything, changed who he was fundamentally, to be with him. and he didn't even realise.

"you went up on a tree" is a reference to jesus's crucifixion, so here it could apply to every time cas sacrificed himself for dean/humanity, which is. a lot.

ok new religious parallel dropped, class. cas as a jesus figure. discuss.

I'm coming back from the dead to drop a very half-baked song analysis. Ok ok this is probably old news but To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens is /such/ a destiel song:

"You gave your body to the lonely

They took your clothes

You gave up a wife and a family

You gave your ghost

To be alone with me..."

I feel like the first verse I quoted is very Jimmy (gave up his wife and daughter to protect them) I know it's not perfect but I can't get it out of my head. I'm actually not smart enough to deconstruct songs I just go by Vibes but my lovely wife rain @queerstudiesnatural is amazing at it.

Also! The last verse is sooo Dean it makes me sick

"I've never known a man who loved me"

Idk idk it just Intrigues me