#also yes there is also a lot to be said about the ableism of it too but thats why its fun to see it subverted-

[billysjoel]

So I was still working (in retail/sales) when covid hit and after finally enacting social distancing, we all were given big plexiglass panels at our desks which was all well and good, but we still had to handle people's phones. Anyway, I got the okay to put a sign up on mine that said "I am immunocompromised, please maintain a safe distance" and I cannot TELL you how many people would look at it and stumble over the pronunciation and ask what it meant. Numerous times, I was asked if I had COVID, had cancer, or was just sick in general (which, yes, I suppose), and those were the "polite" people. A lot of times, people would ignore the fluorescent tape on the floors around our desks denoting six feet and plow through right up to our desks and purposely lean around the plexi or stand off to the side. If a manager was around and available, they'd ask them to step back, but the vast majority of the time, it fell on us to corral the customers.

I can still vividly remember the look of disgust on so many people's faces at being asked to step back and the dramatic ways they'd wave their phone at me and ask how the hell I was supposed to help them. I watched grown men and women transform into literal toddlers in front of my eyes. I was sworn at, yelled at, threatened, had passive aggressive comments aimed at me, and as a captive audience, was forced to listen to so much pro-trump and anti-vaxx rhetoric and ivermectin conspiracy theories. Customers had always had the propensity to become nasty, but the change during and after COVID was wild. It became so obvious how little people cared about others and that they don't view retail workers as humans. In addition to being chronically ill and dealing with everything that comes with it, I burnt out so fast. Before COVID, I could say that overall I enjoyed my job. But with the pandemic, I guess people felt they had more license than ever to mistreat service workers.

All this to say that while I'll never stop believing that as a whole people are mostly good and there are so many who care deeply about others, there are also a LOT of people who simply do not care if they get someone else sick. There are people who have never had an immunocompromised friend or family member and there are people who are uneducated about health in general. It ties in with ableism as a whole and how it would be so much easier for the rest of the public if we disabled people would just "go away" so they didn't have to see or deal with us. We're an inconvenience to them and that became clearer than ever in this post-pandemic world.

I think an underrated factor in “why is everyone sick??” is that many people have reverted to pre-COVID habits ie they do not wash their fucking hands

[fruitsofhell]

I still think about this post I made anytime I see someone talk about Sephiroth Like That. It's still so weird to me, do people realize a character being designed to be hot doesn't automatically mean they're supposed to like… sex-y? With Kuja and Sephiroth I mean this as in their attractiveness is meant to be aesthetic more than sexual, it's like that shit Greta Gerwig was saying about Barbie to me.

I remember something that really struck me when I first played those two's respective games was the way their beauty was treated. I had never taken a game with bishounen characters seriously before, so there was a slight culture shock at how much aesthetic weight was put on them, especially combined with the angel motif in both their characters. Two interesting details about angels (archangels or guardian angels specifically) this brought up in my mind was 1) that traditionally these angels are meant to appear as incredibly attractive people, and 2) that they're traditionally portrayed as androgynous men. Which hey, they nailed those both on the head with their "One-Winged Angel" and "Angel of Death".

But with angels, that humanity and human attractiveness is kind of just a guise for a creature, ancient, divine, and terrifyingly powerful - sort of far beyond the actual functions of a human skin. So their attractiveness is not because they're sexy or sexual, but because its an aesthetic representation of that divinity - a way to make that appalling level of power more palatable and, attractive.

And I find that really fun and interesting, a lot in a gender way because, once again, angels traditionally being seen as masculine, and that sort of "sexy for no reason even if its a de-sexualized non-human being" is only ever an excuse for flaunting a feminine form and not a masculine. And I tell you boys, I am on my hands and knees scraping at the dirt everyday for representations of male beauty.

Which is why for Sephiroth and Kuja this was so striking to me. The way their designed beauty incidentally or purposefully invokes the beauty of angels is just so cool. They are characters not at all presented as having any sexuality of their own, but that It-Factor they got encompasses their character and how they are popularly perceived. Like what would Sephiroth be without his imposing form, long silky hair, and cat-like eyes? Or Kuja without his doll-like face and, well, everything else about him? But that beauty is not FOR us or the characters - it's attractive, even captivating, but venomous. Those mako eyes only hold emptiness, to then be set ablaze by an otherworldly, alien hatred; Kuja's lips only purse in a sadistic, callous grin before twisting into the tortured scowl of a disgraced angel willing to destroy creation out of spite.

And that cruel beauty is mesmerizing to players and a lot of what they're remembered for. Which once again was amazing to me cause they're guys and seeing men get that level of attention warms my cold bisexual heart, but also because MAN it ties in so well to their motifs. I straight up think you get less out of them by assuming that being designed to be hot and being a character with sexuality are synonymous. At least personally I am way more enamored with this dynamic of these beings made to catch our eyes (either narratively or meta-textually) in order to tease our senses and twist our hearts, as they move whole celestial bodies and crumble empires with a smile. I'm Just Obsessed.

[tatsumi-rin]

Wait

D-d-does anyone else notice...that people in fandoms keep writing and otherwise interpreting very autistic-coded characters with any sense of positivity as stupid with no inciteful worth or value beyond goofy comedy, regardless of how they act in canon?

[project-sekai-facts]

The saki glue theory isn’t true?!

I mean it is just a theory… A GAME THEO-

Okay, I’ll stop. But I do wonder why you think that especially since that theory is incredibly popular.

The Saki glue theory, at least from what I've seen, says that if Saki died in middle school it would mean that none of the units in the game would form. The things is, it literally makes no sense if you think about it properly for more than a few seconds.

Of course Leo/need wouldn't exist, because it's not Leo/need without all four of them, and Saki was a key player in mending their friendship. As for Tsukasa, by middle school he was already a theatre kid, so he's not just gonna drop that because his sister died. Yes he would be greatly affected by it but he also wouldn't quit (it's during this point that he actually pushed aside and forgot his original motivations, so he doesn't associate Saki with his dream here). And Tsukasa would still encourage Toya to rebel against his dad, so Toya still meets Akito and they still form Bad Dogs and eventually VBS.

When it comes to MMJ and N25 it becomes really obvious that this theory is grasping at straws. The main explanations I've seen as to how Saki could possibly affect them is that Shiho and Honami become depressed, so Shizuku quits idol work to be there for Shiho, and Honami never becomes Kanade's housekeeper so doesn't call an ambulance for her when she collapsed of dehydration, and Kanade dies.

It just doesn't make sense at all. Yes, Shizuku loves Shiho and would obviously be there to comfort her, but she isn't just going to quit being an idol for that. Shizuku is her own character with her own complicated feelings towards said idol job. She isn't going to drop everything for her sister. And while I think Honami would still become a housekeeper, if she didn't Kanade would just have another housekeeper who probably would've found her the exact same way Honami did. Also at least some people who push for this forget that Shiho and Honami already were not in a great place mentally when Saki was in hospital in middle school. We already have insight into how they coped with losing Saki (not in that sense) and MMJ and N25 still exist despite this. Yes grief is different, but you get the idea.

The Saki glue theory is just a cheap grab at angst rather than anything that actually considers how Saki would impact other characters and their relationships. Yes she does affect some characters but she is not going to drastically rewrite the narrative if she dies nor will everyone close to her become too depressed to function. If we're being really, really, honest, you can kinda tell this theory probably exists partially to give pointless angst to her brother, which is a whole separate issue.

Like, Saki is important to some characters don't get me wrong, but she's only important to the narratives of four, those being the other members of Leo/need, and Tsukasa. She absolutely does not affect every character in the game, even by proxy. Chart:

I'm not saying angst in fandom is a bad thing, and it can be interesting to explore darker and more negative themes/emotions with characters who don't get to experience these a lot in the source material, but within this fandom there is an issue with pulling out nonsensical explanations for dark stories, which like 50% of the time involve killing off the chronically ill character. And a lot of those are to write angst for her brother and ignoring what actually is written in canon about him and his relationship with Saki. Ableism and misogyny with one move. Real nice.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

I have no clue how this guy hasn't divorced his wife. If my partner looked at me with disgust about anything that wasn't literally disgusting, I'd be googling "divorce lawyer."

by Sam Williams

A week ago, my wife and I went to John Lewis to look at air fryers. As we entered the store, I put on an FFP3 mask because of Covid. My wife looked at me in disgust and said, “Oh, you’re wearing a mask?” I replied, “Yes. There’s a lot of Covid around, and I don’t want it. Do you?”

She responded, “Well, the trouble is, I’m not wearing a mask”.

I said, “Yes, I can see that. I wish you would. The trouble is, every time I’ve caught Covid, it’s been from you. I’m disabled with long COVID, and every time I get reinfected, it makes me really, really ill”.

So here’s my question: does my wife not care?

I want to use this piece to spark a debate about who we are as people. Are we kind and virtuous, or are we selfish and indifferent? Writing an article about what stops people from wearing masks, while I live with the pain caused by my wife not masking, feels like an oddly meta activity.

That’s right, folks: it was probably my wife who gave me Covid in the first place. Although, to be fair, neither of us knew about masking or long Covid back then.

The case for masks amid rising Covid I need people to wear masks or ensure clean air so it’s safe for me to go out—especially in healthcare settings. Yet, most people refuse. I asked my wife why she doesn’t wear a mask, and she said, “There’s no point, because nobody else does.”

I understand the futility in her statement. Many people don’t wear masks simply because they don’t care or because they think Covid is over.

If my wife were a cruel or unkind person, it would be easier to accept her refusal to wear a mask. But in my experience, even many kind people—even those on the political Left—can be cruel when it comes to disabled individuals.

Although my wife has struggled with my disability, she is generally a kind person. In my autistic brain, it seems perfectly logical that she should wear a mask to protect me from airborne viruses. Yet, logic loses when it comes to personal choices and disability.

Misconceptions about Covid and masks People think Covid is “just a cold.” Some even believe masks themselves make you ill. I think people don’t mask because of ableism and because they’ve been conditioned to associate masks with the pandemic itself.

It’s the same conditioning that leads them to blame lockdowns and vaccines for Covid, rather than recognising these measures were designed to mitigate its spread.

When people see me in a mask, they’re reminded of the acute phase of the pandemic. My presence confronts them with an uncomfortable truth: their refusal to mask contributes to the deaths and disabling of others. It reveals they may not be as caring as they like to think.

I wish more people would remember the Covid dead and choose to wear a mask to prevent further loss of life.

Why people don’t mask The biggest reason, I believe, is a failure of public health communication over wearing a mask. The government declared Covid “over,” and most people still trust what they’re told. Many would resume masking if asked, but the government is too afraid of the right-wing media and too indifferent to disability to make that request.

Then there’s the pervasive idea of “health supremacy”:

The belief that only people with pre-existing conditions get long Covid.

The notion that a “healthy” immune system can fight off the virus.

The argument that we don’t need vaccines or other preventative measures.

Some even suggest that “living your best life” and going out for brunch are more important than protecting loved ones. The low mortality rate of Covid is used as justification, with a dismissive attitude towards the elderly and those with long Covid.

Many fail to consider the quality of life endured by those with long Covid or the rising number of children affected. Parents, it seems, don’t care enough about their kids, or they’re unaware that long COVID in children has doubled in the past year.

There’s also peer pressure and groupthink. No one wants to stand out by wearing a mask. “If it were really unsafe, wouldn’t everyone else wear one? Wouldn’t the authorities tell us to mask up?”

When I do convince others to wear masks, it’s usually a flimsy surgical one—barely adequate protection.

The personal cost of not wearing a Covid mask If we continue as we are, everyone will eventually develop long Covid. Those who still mask are only delaying the inevitable because we’re so outnumbered.

I know people who’ve lost friendships and family connections over masking. Others restrict their contact with loved ones to stay safe. Some have even been lied to by family members about masking.

And all because people must have brunch.

It feels grossly unfair to be forced to choose between family and health. For me, it’s not just about Covid. With a weakened immune system, other airborne viruses are just as harmful. Every cold or similar illness sets me back by months.

The fatalist in me whispers: stop masking. If no one else is wearing a mask, why fight it – just let long Covid take me. Every reinfection only worsens my condition.

A systemic failure The government—New Labour or otherwise—has shown little interest in preventing the spread of Covid or developing treatments for long Covid. The societal denial of this reality is overwhelming.

Until we build a society and government centred on community and care instead of selfish individualism, we’re doomed. Is thinking of others really too much to ask?

If only long Covid weren’t an invisible disability. If it caused something visible—like the loss of a limb—perhaps people would be forced to act.

The point of wearing a mask: not just for Covid Here’s why masking matters:

It reduces your viral load if you get infected.

It sets a good example for others.

It shows courage and strength.

It protects vulnerable people, including the disabled, chronically ill, and immunosuppressed.

It proves you have empathy and intelligence.

[identitty-dickruption]

I see a million “autism would still be disabling if society was perfect” posts constantly and every time I’m like. okay.

some of the disabling parts of autism are always going to be disabling, yes. poor interoception does just kind of suck. being overwhelmed all the time is not an advantage. etc

the uptick in these posts however is clearly on account of a series of misunderstandings about the social model of disability. as an autistic disability studies scholar this is exasperating to me

arguing over How Disabling Autism Actually Is. is (often!) a waste of time in my opinion. I would much rather we talk about what accommodating for autism might look like. or. yknow. specific instances of ableism, specific problems autistic people face, etc

autism would be easier to live with if it weren’t for the million trials by fire society makes me undergo on a daily basis. if I didn’t have to do so much neurotypical bullshit I would have more capacity to deal with the other non-society based symptoms

I think a lot of people underestimate the extent to which social structures influence their lives and their disabilities. a lot of people label things as “purely biological” that aren’t solely a matter of biology because labelling something as biological gives it social legitimacy in a way that labelling it as social does not

THAT BEING SAID autism is a disability and will probably always be a disability and also I am not here to suck the dick of the social model

[dollypopup]

The way some of y'all talk about Luke Newton is just. . .I need this fandom to check itself with a swiftness, because the very thinly veiled ableism is ENOUGH. Like it is WILD to see, in the year of our lord 2024, people either actively infantalizing or talking down this grown man.

Calling Luke Newton stupid for behaviors that are just him displaying his Neurodivergence? Ableism. Saying it because it takes him longer to answer a question is ableism. Saying it because he said something 'incorrectly' or not as eloquently on the fly as his neurotypical costars? Ableism.

Saying he's boring because he's quiet or he doesn't talk as much (because he often needs more processing time and/or has anxiety to surmount) is ableism. Knitpicking his social media and how he doesn't interact as much with a fandom that has actively been cruel to him is ableism.

Assuming Luke is out here like some helpless little lamb clinging to Nicola because 'oh, she's his comfort person!' instead of recognizing that they both lean on and like each other? Is ableism. Saying he has a one sided infatuation with her BECAUSE he needs her as said comfort person is ableism. Essentially being all 'awwww, poor wee baby, he has anxiety so thankfully his neurotypical costar is there to pick up the slack!' is. ableism. You cannot in one breath say that Nicola's love language is touch but also that Luke is the only one ever reaching to hold her hand because he needs her to ground him. That's ableism.

They both like each other. They have a very close relationship and they both clearly admire the other and like to be around one another. To frame it as him being some inept toddler and her as his more capable caretaker and 'thank God he has her to give him the save' is ableism! That's ableism, babes!! And in many cases people don't recognize that's what they're taking part in, but that's what it is.

He is a grown man and a hell of an actor. Yes, he's quieter than some of his costars. Yes, he contemplates what he says in his mind before he says it, and it takes him some time to do so. Yes, he doesn't behave the way his neurotypical peers do. He doesn't have to. He won't- because he has a neurodivergent brain. And he shouldn't have to behave as a neurotypical person or an 'acceptable' neurodivergent person to have respect from people who claim to be his fans.

He's been outspoken and unapologetic about being a neurodivergent actor with ADHD and dyslexia and how that can contribute to difficulties in the current media machine. He has discussed his coping mechanisms. He has specifically done so because he knows how difficult it can be to be a neurodivergent person in the limelight, and he uses that spotlight to show other neurodivergent actors they can be successful, too. And people saw this openly neurodivergent man and said some mad out of pocket nonsense about him.

As the tour comes to a close, I just really need people to look back on their beliefs and viewpoints during it and do some reflection, because I am side-eying a LOT of takes that have gone largely uncontested.

[stxrfaced]

Okay! Batman fans whining about this! Let's see who keeps their rights during a trump presidency!!!

Bruce Wayne! He might have a decent time because he's rich and white. He might get slack for CANONICALLY being jewish.

Dick Grayson, nope! Romani and from a travelling circus? There's no way he'd have a good time, he'd be hatecrimed. And that's not including the few instances of him being canonically bisexual!

Okay, what about Jason Todd? Nope, he lived in crime alley. He was poor. Both Dick and Jason would be tormented by right wing people even after being adopted by Bruce. Dick especially, again Romani heritage.

Tim Drake is one that would normally be a he'd be fine. But he wouldn't. He's canonically bisexual. So despite being a white man from a well off family, he'd be hatecrimed. He wouldn't have a good time at all due to the prevalent homophobia. He likely would not be able to marry Bernard either.

Next, let's see Stephanie Brown. Not well off, she is a woman, and then there was the teen pregnancy. Yes, steph gave the baby up for adoption, but she still wouldn't have had a good time due to sexism and them just hating non rich people. She would be pressured to keep the baby in an America with trump in power.

Damian Wayne would also have it rough. He's not fully white. He'd have an awful time. Racists are comfortable in a trump run America.

Cassandra cain would have the same issue but she's both not white and a woman. She would have to deal with racism and sexism.

Barbara Gordon, like Stephanie and Cass, would have to deal with sexism. She's also disabled so she'd deal with ableism too.

Duke Thomas is up next, and he'd deal with racism. Again, under a trump Presidency, racists run rampant.

Finally, Kate Kane. Batwoman! Jewish and a woman and a lesbian. She'd deal with antisemitism, sexism, and homophobia.

Now, taking all of that into account, would Bruce Wayne be one of those "leave politics out of this" guys? No. He'd like his family and his family's friends/partners to have rights. Because he's literally Batman. Now do you see how it'd be hard to write heroes? Because you lot sure aren't behaving like heroes.

My qualifications for stating all of this is that I'm a 17 year old trans man that is a aspec bi, and Indian. British Indian ethnically! I also read comics frequently and have read enough about Batman and his kids and his kids' partners and his other relatives to know enough to say this. I'm not American but you know when the British aren't laughing at American politics, it must be really bad.

The amount of comic fans, hero fans, I've seen supporting trump or being apolitical and mad politics gets spoken about is insufferable. Do they read with their eyed closed? Comics have always been a political media! Why do you think Batman exists? Because his parents were killed and nobody stopped it. Why is Batman still a thing? Because there's so much crime that gets pushed aside because said criminals are wealthy or high status.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Do you have any Thad headcanons and Bart and Thad brother headcanons? Also ur writing is a masterpiece on ao3!

🥺Ty sm I really needed a pick up today. As for Bart and Thad being specifically brothers in a universe where Thad is 'redeemed' (it's basically the best case scenario) these are some of the things floating around I have.

1.) Thad inherited Barry's general phobia of roller coasters and heights so he will not absolutely will not sleep in the top bunk. This is just to make things absurd of course. Even when he was pretending to be Bart he would not sleep there, he slept on the beanbag chair. Yes, Bart takes advantage of this in petty revenge whenever possible, like throwing his favorite hoodie or pair of pants into a tree or the roof.

2.) To contrast Bart's inability to fall asleep before 2AM, Thad cannot keep his eyes open past 10PM. Bart calls him an old man because of this.

3.) They unfortunately get the same English class and between the two of them nearly get Ms. Dalrymple to finally quit but in catastrophically different ways.

4.) Thad gets along with most of Bart's friends, except for Mike Ringer. No one knows exactly who or when the first verbal punch was thrown - maybe Thad did first, maybe Thad was a little territorial over Helen, maybe Mike is just the same level of petty Thad is. Either way they cannot be left alone together or something is going to break out.

5.) Dox betrayed Bart by favoring Thad when he came back and was there long-term for like a month, then out of no where decided he was about as interesting as dryer lint.

6.) They actually do share a lot of the same taste food-wise and it makes things easy for everyone.

7.) The whole "Thad was a better Bart than Bart ever was" revelation tying into ableism did not leave Bart's conscious for a long time, nor did it leave Thad's, but in Thad's case it was that no one loved him for him, only because they thought he was Bart. It's a painful subject that both sort of try not to bring up.

8.) Naturally, things were a little rocky to start - Thad his own "probation" (he had to wear an inhibitor collar for a while and was under house arrest) and it was during this time that a lot of Thad's own mental health issues were addressed and the basis for his relationship to Bart was formed. That being said, Bart absolutely once hacked that collar and released him so they could get up to mischief (he just wanted to go to an ice cream shop in Brazil).

9.) Helen's status to Bart is nebulous and it definitely deviates from being nuclear (a mom, sister or aunt) but to Thad she 100% is his mom and he'll rip your lungs out if you say otherwise.

10.) Bart will steal Thad's clothes - Thad RARELY touches Bart's.

11.) Naturally they both know how to push each other's buttons and Thad has a lot more of them to push.

12.) Bart likes his side scroller video games (think Mario) the best because they are quick and instant with no load time - Thad meanwhile couldn't be more bored. He likes RPGs and decision-based RPGs that focus more on story than an enjoyable gameplay.

13.) Thad is a very good liar, Bart is a pitiful one - however Bart is always able to tell when he is lying and pisses Thad off.

14.) To complement Bart's mastery of the guitar Thad's preferred instrument is the piano. Of the two, Thad is more serious about music and actually studies it.

15.) Going back to family relationships - Max to Thad is in the same category as Helen to Bart, he is someone he is fond of but he's definitely not of any sort of nuclear relationship. Max to Bart however that is his dad and he'll rip your lungs out if you say otherwise.

16.) More family relationships - Thad feels a deep deep deep disconnect from the rest of the Flashfamily. Wally and Iris to him are strangers and he refers to Wally as "Bart's cousin" instead of "my cousin" and Iris gets a loose title of "grandma" because he doesn't know really what to do with her. In the past, when he called her "grandma" it was 100% derogatory in the same vein as calling her a hag. He can't call her that anymore.

17.) Thad is more easy to startle, fluster, gross out and generally he is more reactive than Bart is.

18.) There are very few people that can touch Thad without getting flinched away from. Helen can touch him whenever she wants and he's comfortable. Bart he has to see him touch him or he will freak out. Max needs permission unless it is an emergency and almost everyone else is a NO-NO DO NOT TOUCH.

19.) Thad doesn't want to call himself a hero, he insists he's just 'overflow' and does cape-stuff as favors or when something happens where he could be used. For overflow he sure does a lot though...

20.) School got too stressful for Thad eventually, and he just decided to drop out and get his GED. This infuriated Bart because he didn't know this was an option. For a while Bart considered doing the same thing but ultimately he decided to go through Senior year because he genuinely liked being with his friends during that time.

21.) Naturally, only Thad is allowed to say shitty things about Bart. Anyone else tries and they risk suddenly aspirating on pure citric acid or cayenne pepper.

22.) Bart and Thad didn't discover this until many years later - but when Thad came back his legal paperwork had him listed as Max's legal son through adoption, so technically Max adopted Thad first legally while Max was still just Bart's 'legal guardian'. Neither didn't know what to do with that.

23.) Yes, sometimes Wally just assumes Thad knows what that wily ol' Eobard might be up to and Thad has to tell him that he knows jack shit about him, and whatever his own "father" had programmed him to believe was not reliable.

24.) Thad definitely sees things with more nuance than Bart does and embraces a lot more shades of dark gray as viable and reasonable.

25.) One of Thad's reoccurring nightmares is having every other Speedster die and he is the only one left he therefore he HAS to take up the mantle of The Flash - this petrifies him because he doesn't want to be anyone else or wear anyone else's suit again. EVER. Wally once in an effort to be welcoming to him said that the Flash legacy was his too if he wanted it when he was older. Thad panicked and ran away :C

26.) No one knows how or why this unfolded, but Thad and Alan Scott get along as this younger queer/elder queer mentee/mentor relationship.

I have more but that's all for now!

[a-little-revolution]

heya, this might be too much for a single post, but i would delight in a ramble about the overlap between dwarfism and disability (whether or not you/the community as a whole generally consider it a capital-D Disability or if theres more nuance like with the autism or HOH/Deaf communities where it just Is and folks feel the the struggles with outgroup folks are like, culture clashes, or perhaps a secret third thing?)

similarly, id love for a ramble on the overlap between dwarfism and queerness, especially The Genders. i have ehlers-danlos syndrome and theres a huge number of us who are trans or nonbinary, to the point where masculinizing hrt is (anecdotally) understood to be a bit of a treatment for some symptoms. i know theres a lot of overlap between queerness and disability as a whole, but so far the couple of artists with dwarfism ive found and followed are all some flavor of trans or nonbinary, so id love to know if thats as common of a thing in your community as it is in mine

dwarfism is for sure underrepresented in discussion about both disability and queerness, and as a disabled queer person they are so intertwined in my head, and im forever curious about other folks experiences so your thoughts are appreciated!

Hello!! I love these questions!!

Firstly, yes, I do identify as being both a little person and disabled, but that isn't the case for everyone with dwarfism. Though dwarfism falls under the classification of a physical disability, not all little people find it physically debilitating. For me, my Achondroplasia dwarfism has resulted in sleep apnea, arthritis, chronic pain, hearing loss, limited mobility and dexterity. I cannot walk long distances and I use multiple moblility aids (wheelchair for long distance, rollator most of the time, and cane for short distances or around the house). My disability is dynamic, meaning that my ability changes day to day depending on pain levels, spoons (unit of measure for disabled energy), and activity.

Being that I am both a little person AND noticeably disabled, I have experienced ableism within both the abled community and the LP community, which is something I don't often talk about. I've been in situations where I feel alienated from my own community - additionally for my queerness. When you exist at the intersection of as many things as I do, you experience many flavours of ignorance and discrimination from the very people who should accept you.

That being said, I have also had the privilege of meeting other little people who are trans, queer, and nonbinary like I am. Our community is incredibly diverse, but spread along the globe. It is easy to feel a profound isolation, but the internet has provided me with a means of connection which I greatly appreciate.

Disability and queerness is something I discuss in depth in my public speaking roles, as I deeply value intersectionality in education and activism (I hope to share some of my talks as I record them in the future!).

I am forever painful aware that ableism is alive and will within the queer community - even when "all are welcome", we are still an after thought. I really urge my fellow queers to think beyond our own community to bipoc and disabled folks, otherwise you're really just dipping your toes into radicalism. Read more books by black disabled trans women of colour, and expand your thinking. (Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol)

I can't really speak to hate from the other direction, as all of the disabled folks I know on a personal level are also queer. Though I will say that I certainly receive queer-phobia from older (white) disabled folks - in my experience, when white folks become disabled with age and have not faced any other injustice in their life, they can be very hateful.

This has been quite a post, so I hope I've answered your questions in full! I would be happy to discuss it more if not/answer other related questions! Thank you so much!

Elliot (they/them)

[the-cockroach-that-survived]

This is something I have said about the beef between Dream and Tommy privately before this shit even happened. I think they both had some way of being in the wrong in their friendship and maybe are just not meant to be friends.

Back in the peak of the DSMP, it was also the peak of quarantine, where everyone’s social skills were worse than average. Tommy and Dream were BOTH young, still are, and yes Tommy was younger, or to put it as people’s favorite buzzword, a minor, but their age difference isn’t THAT crazy and they were FRIENDS

Tommy was immature. He was actively known as someone annoying who likes to push people’s buttons (intentionally or otherwise, though from what I’ve seen, often intentionally), whether or not people found it charming or irritating. That’s always been a main part of his humor

It is no fucking surprised that during that time he would have broken people’s boundaries or pushed things too far

Dream back then was even more reactive than he can be now. He’s been dealing with the main portion of ALL DSMP related hate since the beginning and it has actively been getting worse. He has a habit of reacting poorly, but that’s because people keep PUSHING HIM to. Pretty much every single time he has apologized afterwards for anything genuinely stupid or harmful

My WHOLE perception of their falling out was that Tommy was an immature kid who probably got on Dream’s nerves one too many times, and it’s entirely possible that as a reaction, Dream may have said hurtful things to him

But from what I’ve seen, he hasn’t

Not once

Every single thing I’ve seen of Dream communicating with Tommy in ways people have painted as mean or manipulative have literally just been him communicating in the most mature way possible: direct and honest. And now of course we know that a lot of his communication style is most likely affected by him being autistic

I’ve seen people say this and thought it may have been a stretch before, but it’s becoming more and more apparent: this is a case of an autistic person being in a friend group that has terrible communication skills and blames everything on him, thinks he’s weird, etc. because of poorly packaged ableism and the only reason it’s such a fuss is because EVERYONE involved is a popular creator and they keep making all this shit public

The fans opinions (whether genuine or rage bait) absolutely affects the way things are happening as well. Streamers are being biased, they aren’t being entirely honest, they’re all being emotionally reactive, no matter how they phrase things, and the main target of this has been Dream through seemingly no fault of his own other than having a communication style that the others didn’t like/understand

This whole thing is fucking ridiculous and every single creator who claims to no longer be friends with or wants to be associated with Dream needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HIM

None of them would have any sort of involvement or interaction with Dream anymore, like they CLAIM they want, if they would just leave the poor motherfucker alone

You guys are acting like Dream has been this terrible mastermind behind the scenes all along because a few of his ex-friends are saying shit about him with little to no proof and TONS of bias

All along he was just fucking autistic and everyone else’s PERSONALLY CREATED perceptions of him have made them borderline delusional and have completely clouded their image of him

Everyone has been immature here and I’m fucking sick and tired of it

ALL of these creators should take Tommy’s misplaced advice: get off the internet and go to therapy

All of this over fucking Minecraft and rampant cringe culture ableism, fuck all of you

[midnightcatharsis]

I've been kinda trying to ship meljayvik for a week and I'm officially giving up. I'm too weak for this shit. I've started shipping them for several reasons mostly: 1. I like all 3 characters 2. Meljayvik art is beautiful 3. the jokes about Jayce being in love with 2 magical beings are great 4. Jayce has a type 5. Many members of the arcane team have been open about shipping meljayvik 6. While I do believe there are not enough Mel-Viktor interactions, I believe the ship has big potential and I've stumbled upon several ideas for fics that I find charming as well as interesting. 7. Toks (Mel's VA) is a great, talented person, she makes me love Mel and crave more Mel content.

That being said, I'm giving up. Almost every single time I search through tags and Mel or M3ljay* (if you wonder why it's censored look at the end of the post) are mentioned alongside Viktor and Jayvik 95% of the content is just pure hate, insults, harassment, and vitriol. The hate comes from both ways of course and perhaps some m3ljay fans have encountered some from jayvik fans but, personally, I have seen much more hate directed at viktor and people shipping jayvik or even meljayvik. People say "don't erase and vilify Mel for jayvik" (which I agree with) only to in the same comment or post vilify Viktor and hate on him making sometimes ridiculous claims. Innocent jokes referencing what c.l. said, about how if Jayce sees Viktor as a brother then his relationship with Mel is also "sibling-coded" are treated as a war crime by some M3ljay fans even if you ship both. Joking about Mel's actress liking jayvik posts, shipping them or referencing her doing that in any way is a crime and any person who has ever dared to consider Jayce and Viktor as romantic, post any art or joke about jayvik (which also includes Mel's VA) is insulted, harassed, slandered and called "racist". Even shipping meljayvik is treated as an insult because "only m3ljay is ok"). And don't even let me start on Mel because she can only ever be perfect and anytime somebody dares to say that while she is not perfect she is still a complex, interesting character it's treated as hating on her... Saying that she is skilled in manipulation, politics, intrigues, schemes, and playing people is somehow an insult despite it being her job and despite her achieving so much while at such a young age on her own being a testimony to how good at it and skilled she is. Saying that she was on the council for many years and the council has done awful things to Zaun is not permitted. Mentioning that her relationship with Jayce, while real, started as her trying to use and manipulate him because he was an investment - which is even an important theme in the show and the reason why they have a falling out in s2 - is somehow a hate crime. A lot of these people don't even care about Mel and often say stuff suggesting that if she doesn't end with Jayce she is somehow useless and disposable while, in reality, she is a strong, independent, and complex character who has her own story and who would be interesting even if her break up with Jayce in s2 marked the definite end of their relationship (same for Viktor, except maybe having his own story because he and Jayce are intertwined in all universes in that regard). A lot of people are just using Mel (and Sky) to hide their ableism, homophobia, and sheer disgust for gay, bisexual and queer people... Perhaps there is also some hate and toxicity (that shouldn't be there) on the jayvik side of fandom towards M3ljay, but during my limited time as a new meljayvik shipper and looking through tags, I have not encountered people openly hating on Mel at all. Things that get labeled as "hate" are mostly people saying she was manipulative at the beginning (which yes, she was), is good at manipulation (again, she is, like every politician, and it doesn't even make her evil) or is not a saint; people comparing Viktor and Mel's scenes or using the m3ljay tag while also shipping meljayvik; occasionally people saying why they prefer jayvik while also being polite and not hating on Mel (which also happens in reverse)... But never open hate, insults, and harassment that the other side directs towards jayvik fans and viktor. (Screens below - most from tumblr cause I'm lazy, but there are much more of it on other platforms, and the comments are often even worse) I'm too weak to deal with all this toxicity and hate. I still kinda like the ship and the all the characters but I'm going back to jayvik only.

*(I'm censoring this so that m3ljay fans who probably don't want it in their tag won't have to interact with this post because I consider it basic human culture. Would be lovely if m3ljay fans who love to shit on jayvik in jayvik fans did the same for once)

[terresdebrume]

I've written a couple of scenes of Charles' having an emotional breakdown and Edwin comforting him, I felt is was time for the reverse. Set in the I'm down on my knees universe at like. Some point, IG.

Warning for mentions of racist behavior throughout and also implied ableism via the Paynes vs Edwin. Hurt comfort. Sorta.

Edwin's fists start mashing together the second his hands come off the steering wheel, which Charles knows very well is the the top one sign of a stress spiral. It's pretty much the default position for Edwin's hands whenever they go to a social thing he hasn't got the hang on yet, and the morning before all his business law exams. It feels wrong to see them like that now, sitting in front of a rustic looking restaurant where his parents are waiting for them.

"We can still leave you know," he tells Edwin. "Tell them I tested positive for COVID and you don't want to risk giving it to them or something."

Edwin doesn't quite laugh, but the corners of his mouth lift up, and the creak of his leather driving gloves subsides for a moment. He makes a face like when he's trying to figure out how to say something he's not sure how to handle. Charles, one hand on his still buckled seatbelt and the other on the door handle, waits him out. Eventually, Edwin speaks.

"I should have said earlier," he says, sounding for all the world like the words are taffy stuck in his teeth, "but my parents are sort of... Well. They have a certain idea of how the world should work and be divided—"

"Yeah, I figured," Charles says. He grins when Edwin blinks at him. "Everyone else, when we've got plans, you say shit like 'Oh, Charles is making curry tonight'—"

"I do not sound like that," Edwin protests, but Charles snorts.

"You sound exactly like that, you big toff," he says, grin widening despite himself.

Edwin rolls his eyes and calls him ridiculous, fists softening against one another. Grinning to the point his cheeks ache, Charles gives Edwin's knee a light knock with his knuckles. It makes Edwin click his tongue, but Charles doesn't lose his smile.

"My point is, with you're parents it's always like 'Charles is making dinner' and stuff. Like you're playing the pronouns game with food."

Charles suppresses a wince when. Edwin's eyes widen and his fists tighten together again, like tectonic plates gearing up for an earthquake. Of course Edwin was going to take it the wrong way. Charles should have bloody well known better.

"I'm sorry," Edwin says, I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," Charles shrugs. "I mean they know what I look like, right?"

"Yes!" Edwin promises, hands so tight together it looks like they're going to merge. "Of course. I made sure they couldn't pretend they'd misunderstood, too, I just—"

"Then I'm fine," Charles says, making sure his smile looks easier than it feels. "I was friends with racist gits for years, I can handle your parents for an hour."

Plus, they'll be in public. What are the Paynes gonna do, try to make him join the staff? Calling him the P slur over dessert? They might think it but Charles suspects they're too interested in seeming proper to be that crassly racist where they can be heard. Probably they'll just make some noise about certain types of people and NHS fraud and jobs being stolen away from the homeless people they have no intention to help. Maybe something about Islam—there people tend to assume Charles is a Muslim a lot. He chalks it up to two birds one stone mentality, and the appeal of unlocking two rants over a single guy.

"Alright," Edwin says, looking relieved but not guilt free yet. "But if you wish to leave early, please pretend you just remembered a favour you promised Jenny, will you? I will drive us back immediately."

"Sure, I'll do that," Charles promises. He genuinely doesn't think it'll be that bad, but if he's wrong he'll be glad have the out anyway.

Reassured, Edwin takes a deep breath, and nods, and in they go. Everything is very posh in that very 'bling is for lesser people' kind of way. The menu predictably shows no prices. Edwin's parents make the usual thinly veiled remarks about Charles and Indians and brown people in general, and it's not the most comfortable but Charles could deal with it if not for the Issue.

It starts when they approach the table, Edwin's parents standing next to it with spines so straight Charles half worries he's hunched down again. Edwin places his hands in his mother's to kiss the air around each of her cheek, but then when he goes to press his fists together again, she takes his wrists and pulls his hands apart. Charles's entire back goes rigid at the sight, but he manages to push it aside and smile as he extends a hand for Mrs. Payne to shake. He said he'd do his best to make the dinner a success, and he meant it.

They sit down, Edwin and Charles on one side of the rectangular table, Edwin's parents on the other. Edwin's hands are very flat on the white tablecloth, gloves pulled away and fingers carefully aligned together. They stay there while Edwin answers increasingly invasive questions about his studies and his life, but they drift together again when the Paynes' attention turns to Charles.

"Stop that," Mr. Payne says with a stern look, cutting himself off in the middle of a sanctimonious explanation of why Charles is not being ambitious enough in life.

It's such a complete contrast to the polite, vaguely affable air he took one when speaking to Charles, and he goes back to it so quickly, Charles barely has time to react. The only thing he can think of is to press his knee against Edwin's in comfort. He should have thought of a signal for Edwin, too. Or at least asked if he wanted one.

The entree's arrival provokes some surprised praise over how their brown waiter is surprisingly well trained and articulate, and Charles takes it in stride. They're not actually saying anything to the waiter, and when they do speak he's out of earshot. He's had worse, and Edwin doesn't quite seem to be ready to throw the towel in, so he'll stick it out a bit longer. Even if Edwin's going pinker and pinker with every minute that passes.

They're about halfway through their main dishes and another rant from Mr. Payne—augmented by his wife's approving noise and not much else, Edwin having fallen silent somewhere around the time his gaspacho touched the table. Charles hates to see him like this: Edwin has always had a big personality, a larger than average presence in any room. He should be leading the conversation, or at least insisting on being heard through it, not looking down at the tablecloth with his mouth shut.

Charles is halfway through opening his mouth to pretend Jenny just texted him about plumbing issues, when Edwin's dad speaks again. He has the kind of articulation they promote on the BBC, yet Charles doesn't register any of what he says, only the fact that Edwin's fists fly together without him even noticing, and then Mr. Payne's hand darts from the other side of the table to slap Edwin's closed hands.

Now, see, the thing about Charles, is he's got excellent reflexes. Between dodging his dad's many and varied projectiles over the years, a decade of cricket, and countless hours of playing shooting games, he's pretty much primed for it. Add to that the fact that he's been getting angrier and angrier on Edwin's behalf throughout the meal, and really Charles doesn't think he can be blamed for dropping his knife, reaching out, and slapping Mr. Payne's hands.

"How dare you?" The man hisses in the deadly silence that falls over the room after the exchange.

The whole restaurant seems to hold its breath, the way Charles and mum used to do whenever dad stopped and asked 'What did you just say?'. In the corner of Charles' vision, Edwin's mouth hangs partially open in shock even as Charles hisses:

"How dare you?"

"The way I discipline my son," Mr. Payne starts, and Charles snarls.

"Your son is twenty-five," he says raising his voice on purpose. "You don't get to treat him like a bloody toddler."

"You little—" Payne senior starts, but before Edwin even has the time to react to his dangerous tone, Charles stands up with a loud scrape of his chair against the floor.

"And another thing," he says, loudly speaking over the fast purpling man in front of him, "there's nothing wrong with Edwin. That thing with the hand? You're making a mountain out of a bloody molehill! And if you didn't spend so much time worrying about it, maybe you'd realize Edwin is really bloody mint, actually, and if you can't appreciate him, then I don't see why we should bother staying here at all." Charles pushes his chair back against the table with another loud scrape, and turns to Edwin. "Come on, let's go."

Edwin's parents protest, mildly at first and then more loudly, but Charles doesn't care. He's too furious at them, at the way they filled their son with a sort of guilty shame Charles had never seen until the, at the way they somehow managed to stop him from even wanting to answer.

He waits until Edwin stands up, and then he takes hold of Edwin's wrist and drags the both of them outside. Edwin has to tug hard on his arm to remind him they used a car to come in, actually, and they can't leave it there. He sounds—well he sounds strained, is what he does. The sort of voice that means there's an emotion somewhere he's not letting out, and this time Charles knows exactly where it's going.

"I'm so sorry," he says, "I ruined dinner!"

"Oh," Charles, Edwin sighs.

His eyes are wide and wet and his grin ks kind of wobbly, but he steps up and engulfs Charles in hug anyway, hands tightly clasped around Charles waist. Charles responds in kind, putting as much love as he can into the embrace, into the pressure of his arms around Edwin.

"Thank you," Edwin mumbles against Charles' neck. "No one ever stood up for me line that."

"They bloody well should have," Charles says, gentling his tone when he realizes something warm dripping down his neck.

Edwin, too busy controlling his crying the best he can, doesn't answer, but it doesn't matter. Charles holds him tight until he's done crying anyway.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[velvetvexations]

I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (6) (Teaser)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: TBD Release Date: Sept 13, 2024 at 5pm (MT) Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, angst, trauma, panic attacks, kissing, SMUT (more to come in the official release), ableism, mention of past alcohol abuse, talk of previous sexual encounters, talks of bullying, probably poor swimming terminology, I also have no idea how swim events work so might be wrong about that too, talks of possible inappropriate coach-athlete relationship, lots of insecurities, survivor's guilt, lots of guilt and shame actually, reader needs to be kinder to herself, we all deserve a Jimin, he's still best boyfriend, more to come later...

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“Ready?”

I jumped. Beside me, Jimin laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I joked. “Laugh it up. Just take your clothes off and get in the water.”

Jimin stuck his tongue out at me, peeling his jacket off and tossing it on his gear bag. His flip flops were next and in no time he was in the water. I stood at the edge and watched as he started doing his laps. This was more about stretching his body than training, and I told him he needed to get better at practicing taking this slow.

The pool began to fill in with the others as they practiced their designated moves. Jimin and the boys were tagging each other in and out to get used to taking turns diving in. I watched with pride. His breaststrokes looked amazing. His progress was something to behold and I was honored I had been trusted with him. Relationship aside, he was such a hard working person and it was a pleasure to work with him.

“He looks good,” Coach Tyler Moore told me, his eyes locked on Jimin’s form. “Better than when he was with that other guy. Kid’s an animal.”

“Good for a short guy,” Nicole, one of the other coaches, joked.

Jimin’s height was always a topic of discussion for him. His length had him at a disadvantage compared to other swimmers and it was a mystery how he was able to compete competitively at all. Olympic level swimmers were at least six-foot in the men’s category. Most of the women were taller than Park, too. Myself included.

“He’s a great swimmer,” I replied. “He’s fast and strong. Could probably bench press a bear if he tried.”

Tyler laughed. “Do you think he’ll place at the Olympics?”

I nodded, “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Girl’s a recluse,” A familiar dry voice drawled beside me.

I chuckled. I had known Summer Lewis since we were in high school. We were good friends back in the day before she moved out to Michigan after getting married. I wasn’t expecting to see her here, but it was a welcome surprise that eased some of my nerves. 

“Thought hell would freeze over before she was back in public,” Summer continued. “Do you even leave the house?”

“Yes,” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “Obviously. I’m here right now.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked when the others broke off from the group to talk to a group of reporters. “Leg holding up?”

“Yeah. I still get a bit of pain sometimes and when it’s cold it hurts more, but I’m alright. Alive, so I can't complain too much.”

The same couldn’t be said for Namjoon, I thought. I cast that out of my mind. There was no room for survivor’s guilt right now. I was happy. Everything was working out. He would be happy for me. But he’s dead.

I took a deep breath. I was too stressed out about today. The reporters were inching closer and closer and the thought of interacting with them made me feel physically ill. My stomach churned uncomfortably and I pushed down the rising panic. It was so stupid.

Nothing had even happened and here I was sweating like a pig.

“Do you miss it?” Summer asked, jutting her chin out toward the pool.

“All the time,” I told her. A bead of sweat trickled down my neck. “Hey, I’m going to go use the bathroom real quick. Let Park know if he starts looking for me.”

Summer nodded, “We’ll be starting in ten.”

“I’ll be back before then.”

Jimin was already looking my way when I spared him another look. He lifted up his hand and raised his thumb. I nodded at his unasked question, not wanting to worry him. This was my thing that I needed to handle. He just needed to focus on the water and being with his team.

Squeezing my hand into a fist, I tucked my thumb underneath my index finger and popped it through the other side. Waving my wrist, I signed to him that I needed to use the restroom. He nodded and I could tell he relaxed a bit. Good. I just needed a few minutes to collect myself.

I splashed water on my face. Back in the same bathroom we were in this morning. I splashed myself again before I let my mind wander. Today was too much. My anxiety was at an all-time high and the make up on my face felt like spackle. I knew it looked nice, it was the same as it was every time I did it, but it only served to make me even more insecure. I looked like I was trying too hard, and everyone knew that. God, I was such an idiot.

And then the whole thing with Jimin.

I let a single tear slip. That was so inappropriate and disrespectful. He was so nervous and scared, and I just took him at face value. He told me something so deeply personal, and I just glossed over it because of what? I hadn’t gotten any in a while? I was no better than the men I despised.

I allowed myself two minutes to cry. All of the guilt and shame I felt poured out of me, but once my watch went off, I was dabbing my face off with tissues and fixing my makeup. Whatever was going on with me would have to wait. My boy was counting on me.

Opening the bathroom door, I slammed into a chest. I stumbled a few feet back barely catching myself on the wall. The person I bumped into was stood still.

“I’m so sorry,” I gushed, adjusting my clothes. “Are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine.”

I recognized that voice anywhere.

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