#(I say it in a jokey way tho and Im not calling anyone else that)

[serenhob]

Idk about other peoples opinions but I really hate the phrase 'differently abled'

Like disabled isn't a slur it's a description.

And I'm not 'differently abled', just cause I can't walk without my cane doesn't mean I can fly or smth

And I swear its always Able-bodied, neurotypical people that are saying this. Especially Mums of neurodivergent kids (specifically young ones like they have an autistic 6 year old), I swear they are always saying it like its a superpower, its just a state of existence Cathy I'm not superman.

I am disabled, I require aids and accommodations to functions at a lower standard than the average able bodied neurotypical person. I'm not saying being disabled or disability is a bad thing, a lot of times disability is neutral as long as you have the tools you need to adapt to a non disabled friendly society. There are positive and negative parts of being disabled and sure you can develop skills because of your disability but it doesn't mean that you are suddenly 'differently abled'. As well every disabled person, no matter if they have the exact same disability, will experience it differently and have varying opinions on it.

And I do get its mostly to combat this idea of disabled=inferior but we don't need to have that association. Just because there are things I can't do doesn't make my life less valuable, same for any other disabled person. Disabled doesn't mean less, it is a description and I think we need to remember that far more than calling disabled people 'differently abled'. Idk, it just feels like really weird advocacy that just pushes an ableist idea that disabled people can't just be disabled, you have to prove you have other worth otherwise you are worthless.

If you do use and like the term 'differently abled' for yourself or anyone you know uses it, I'm not saying that's bad. You can self identify that way, I just don't like it when people use it to describe me because it feels inaccurate and kinda performative. <3

[finalset]

for years and years and years i felt the same way about the word "queer", it was simply impossible to avoid + everyone called me it anyway by implication. "queer culture" "us queers" etc. had to grit my teeth and learn to get over it bc its obviously a case where my feelings are considered outdated. I'm in my early 20s, not even an "elder queer"...

i say "felt" as though i have stopped grinding my teeth over it lol. i FEEL this way! but it's impossible to avoid being called a queer these days!!! so i had to force myself to understand why people are reclaiming it, and learn to consistently act like I'm on board, because otherwise, per MY honest feelings on the matter, the world is kind of slurring me all the time! so at this point have i reclaimed it too, simply by consensus, by committee, decided for me? idk. had to get over my feelings in the end

ironically i prefer the F slur for jokey self-identification because I'd never see a "fag healthcare" poster at my GPs or "fag politics" on the news, no one would call me that and I'd do my part in not calling anyone else that. self-ID as a faggot lol. can't self-ID as "not a queer, please" anymore really

Tbh I think it’s totally fair for you to still ask to not be called queer if you don’t like it, it can be simple as that and really shouldn’t be questioned, esp since historically it’s been used against lgbt people in a derogatory way. Ik there’s like whole debates on how lgbt people used it first and then it was turned against us but honestly if you don’t want to be called that I think it’s understandable, especially w personal history w the word too. I’m comfortable with using queer for myself esp bc sometimes it’s just shorter to say that than to be like ‘as a gay/trans person’ but i do question sometimes where cis/het people come from when they mention lgbt people as such tho lol. and for fag I really also tried to use it in a humorous way for myself and I have a friend who uses it a lot and it’s funny but, personally it’s really not for me. I heard it a lot growing up and have been called it by immediate family (others people in general as well) and it really bites and I’ve grown to resent it instead of idk maybe even just being neutral towards it, which is ironic bc I don’t care about jokingly calling myself a tranny or smth but that’s not even my humor either tbh. fag/got just bites in an ugly way for me and im over trying to be okay with it just bc its used very liberally among other gay people (which I don’t have a problem w) I’d just rather not be grouped in with the word similarly to how you feel about other ppl using queer in a community/group context.

[justkingwolf]

im feeling so stressed out rn so i’m gonna scream under a cut pls skip past

im just so. i really hate myself.

like not a jokey, millenial, typical kind of self depreciation, altho i feel that too, but i mean i actively fucking hate myself. if i could i would kick my own ass. it’s like a real, physical, deep hatred. hate in the purest sense of the word.

and i dont know how to fix it.

i know i’m not happy in my own body, it took me a long ass time to figure out i was nb and i’m still kind of coming to terms with it? but like. its so fucking hard. my mum is super supportive and honestly i’m pretty lucky but i feel like... half the time my comments about are kind of considered to be joking? she’s obviously never said she thinks its a joke, but i often talk about these issues as a whole, kind of how fed up i am with how shitty the support systems are for people, and i feel like she kind of assumes part of what i say is a kind of “they” rather than “me”, i just feel like i dont get my point across fully. she’d never kick me out for any of this, not like the kind of thing a lot of people go thru, but i just feel like..... a joke.

i know my brother thinks i’m mostly just joking. i think it’s easier for him to just assume i’m “normal” and just joking. even when i say something that very directly means “i am this” he responds with a joke. he has no concept of how much his comments upset me. even when a new girl started at his job, mum asked what he thought of her (not even in an attraction kind of way, just in general) and his reply was “she looks like a fucking butch lesbian”. i mean she even just... looks like a person. she’s just a woman with medium/long blonde hair she wears in a ponytail and has glasses on, wearing minimal make-up i assume because she’s working in a garage doing mechanics and knows she’ll get filthy dirty working anyway. but he insists on calling her “a butch lesbian” because he’s not entirely keen on working with her.

i’m a nb ace. it upsets me hearing that. i have super super short hair and wear unisex jeans and t-shirts and flannel shirts. if i wasn’t his sister he’d call me “a butch lesbian” too, like he does anyone else who dresses like me or has hair like mine.

and i’ve been thinking a lot lately about changing my name. i mean i like my name well enough. “rebecca” is fine. and im used to “becky”. but i feel like... i dont even know. i dont feel particularly connected to my name. maybe because it’s such a common name? even my surname is a common name. i’d kind of like to just... add my own middle name. just so it’s more personal to me. so i can sign something in a name that feels like MY name. but im so fucking scared of even mentioning it to my mum??? even tho she’s so supportive, like i said, i worry it’d upset her if i said i wanted to add my own middle name. or she’d think it was silly. she’s even said in the past that she never gave me or my brother middle names when we were born because she doesn’t like hers and figured if we wanted one we could just add one of our own when we could make our minds! so why do i feel so weird about it !!!

i’ve gotten kind of attached to the idea of adding “wolfie” as my middle name. people sometimes called me that anyways, friends i used to have in school and stuff,and i like it. but i’m frozen with the idea because i feel like people will think it’s silly. or stupid. or lame. or just plain make fun of it. or just not take me seriously. people have changed their names to all kinds of things, like that dude in new zealand or something who legally changed his entire name to “the wizard”.

it shouldn’t feel this..... i dont even know!

i dont even know exactly how i feel!

all i know is i fucking HATE myself and im so fucking stressed out and frustrated.

i dont think i’d ever even mention any of this to my dad. i dread to think what his comments would be if he saw me now anyways. i haven’t even seen him in years, not that i really want to, but he’s always been a lot like my brother. judgemental and intolerant. if he saw me now? from the straight girl with long hair who was entirely ““normal”“ to the nb ace with hair that’s shaved back and sides and wearing “boys” clothes? he’d probably take the piss out of me. or just laugh at me. or both. or make comments like “god what have you done to yourself?”

im so fucking upset and i  h a t e  it.