#also wow its almost like art is a skill you have to practice and get better at

[perenlop]

“ughhh it takes me FOREVER to draw afros though and its so hard to make them look good! YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!” ok it takes me forever to do any of my art. you dont see me having a conniption over drawing black hairstyles

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Sokka Headcannons

pt 2!

As always i remind you all that I’ve not watched atla in genuine years, please correct me for any wrong information

On to the hc’s!

he’s secretly a VERY good singer. Kya used to teach him how to sing when he was younger in order to do simple prayers and rituals asking the spirits to keep Hakoda safe and bring back a successful hunt. Sokka would sit next to her, looking up starry-eyed at the beautiful melodies that would come out of his mothers’ mouth. He would spend all day practicing, humming the tunes to himself, trying to get them perfect, and at night would run up to his mother with a hushed “look look mom! Listen to this!” And sing it right, note for note. And she would smile and say “very good, sokka. You might even be better than me some day!” And sokka would always grin at the thought of finally, I did something right! And now mom’s proud of me. After Kya’s death, he spent months without singing. He would train all day and almost all night to try to be better, be faster, be stronger. One day after he finished his night training, he heard Katara wake up and screaming from a nightmare. He pulled Katara onto his bed, lay her head on his lap, and stroked her hair while he sang softly to her. Kya’s lullabies one of the few things that he remembers about her, and it’s the only thing that would calm Katara down. He’s still sort of embarrassed about his singing voice, so no one but Katara knows how good of a singer he is until one day Zuko wakes up from a nightmare. He put’s Zuko’s head in his lap, just like he used to to Katara, and starts singing a low, haunting melody in his native language (more on that next), and Zuko looks at him suprised, but then slowly relaxes and falls asleep with a smile on his face. After that night Zuko begs over and over for Sokka to sing for him some more which is rare because Zuko isn’t usually very pushy. I guess he liked his singing. It’s mostly because of the look on Sokka’s face when he sings and how pretty he looks and how well he sings and wow hes just really pretty oh my god and it makes zuko lose his fucking mind. Eventually the rest of the Gaang finds out (after a very very long time), and sometimes certain words, (or even just randomly he’ll remember) will remind him of a song and he’ll just quietly hum or sing and everyone stops and stares for a second cause damn sokka thats rlly pretty youre acc rlly good

(Ive seen this headcannon that all the nations have their respective native languages, and then a universal language used for trade and all that, so this stems from that ) Sokka slips back into his native language a lot and switches between his native language and the universal language a lot (kinda like Spanglish lol). Bc of this everyone in the Gaang knows enough of the language to have a conversation (especially Suki and eventually Zuko because teaching people he dates his native language is just?? Rlly important to him? He wants to share everything about their culture and teach his partners about how see this word actually can’t be translated to Universal Language, but its really versatile and here’s the whole history of how this word was created. He really loves language and learning so he wants his partners to enjoy it too) he mostly slips back into the language out of force of habit, but also makes a conscious effort to speak it to make sure he doesn’t forget his culture and remind people that the water tribe’s aren’t savages, they have genuine spoken languages and converse like normal people. Whenever he and Katara are fighting they’ll fight very fast and unintelligiblyin their native tongue so everyone else is just kinda trying to figure out what they’re arguing about lol.

after everyone made fun of his art skills you know DAMN WELL he learned how to draw after that. Brother was up at DAWN learning the basic elements of art so he could show up with a Mona Lisa next time the Gaang got together and wipe the smirks off their faces (and ofc Zuko hung up every single one of his drawings, no matter how messy or fast or bad, in the palace)

HE BUILT A STATUE OF KATARA. SOMEWHERE. (I haven’t watched LOK but ik that there are statues of the Gaang around!) if there’s one thing that that man loves, its his sister. He will CONSTANTLY remind everyone. “UHM YEA, ALL YOU WOMEN TRAINING IN BATTLE IN THE NORTH POLE??? DONT FORGET WHO YOU OWE THAT TO. YEA. MY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL AMAZING (but dont tell her i said that abt her) SISTER DID THAT. AND DONT YOU DICKWADS FORGET IT”

And yea, thats all i got for now lol

You can find part 1 here (cause its been a month since the first one): pt1

[madelynhimegami]

About twenty years ago (probably closer to nineteen), I finished my playthrough of Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life.

This morning, I finished my (first?) playthrough of the A Wonderful Life remake.

Well before I finished, I decided I wanted to make a post talking about it, giving my general thoughts on it. And I'll probably just end up rambling. Who knows if it's at all interesting to people but. Here goes.

Being able to save and load anywhere at any time is such a game changer. Holy moly. Even though I didn't really have to do a whole lot of reloading (except where fishing requests were concerned). But it still felt very good to have.

On a related note, the remake is so transparent about its mechanics, it's amazing. I know that AnWL already had some tranparency added to it (especially wrt your kid), but just. Having as much info as the remake gives you, at all times, is nuts. Makes things so much easier to finagle around.

Likewise, thank god for automatically recording cooking recipes. It was already practically impossible to remember how to make anything in the GCN games. The fact that the Harvest Sprites gave you a new recipe every day also helped. As did telling you when your cooking skill levelled up, because the GCN games didn't tell you anything.

Characters actually sound distinct now! The thing about mediocre localizations is that you don't know what you're missing out on until you get a good localization. And wow, the amount of personality shown by having characters speak differently adds a shocking amount.

Even with all of the QOL updates... the main thing that makes me never wanna touch the GCN games again is that they're a lot less bugged. I once again blame the old localization.

(you think there's weird stuff going on in the remake. you have no idea.)

That being said, aside from being able to select your pronouns at the start of the game, the cast (including yourself) don't really do much of anything to gender you. AnWL gave me so much gender euphoria before I even knew what it was. (Not to mention the FoMT remake set the bar for being gay in a way that AWL is set up couldn't really replicate). So... who knows. Maybe I'll end up replaying it someday anyway.

Granted, I say that, but as I was typing that sentence I thought about how the event for giving your toddler a bath was broken so that you could not give him one. Instead of a Yes/No prompt the game just said "Several days later..." and then continued like you had said no. Maddening.

Nuts to it, someone just give me an annotated textdump.

After so much hemming and hawing about who to marry in the remake, I ended up just marrying Nami again. One part autistic lesb solidarity, one part her kid being so goshdang powerful. Either way, I joked about how nothing about me had changed in twenty years.

Once I got to chapter two, I started screencapping like crazy. Got almost 400 of them on my switch now. I just wanted to note everything I could about what my darling baby girl was doing throughout her life. Also my wife.

In my original playthrough, even though I tried to influence my son into either art or academics, he ended up becoming a farmer. But then again, I also didn't understand how to influence him optimally. Which sounds awful out of context. Oh well, at least his life was mostly organic.

I managed to get my daughter into academics before chapter two ended. Probably the most interesting thing that happened was how her dialogue changed. She started reciting her ABC's to herself, and mumbled about books, and said that gemstones were like puzzle peices. It was darling.

Since I've only played the entire game with Nami's child, though, I do wanna replay the game just so that I can see what a different kid is like.

Problem is, it just brings back the marriage problem. And the child career problem, because even if I marry Muffy, like hell will I raise an athlete (but I don't want scholar again... but also if they're an artist they run away from home after the game ends, which is kinda messed up).

A lot of people in the village make comments about how air conditioning isn't good for people's health. They did that in the original game too, if memory serves, but it's still weird. Is this a thing in Japan, or was the person that wrote those parts of the dialogue have a vendetta of some kind?

This is another thing that I know got changed in AnWL, but I'm still so glad that chapters are only one in-game year long. There's a special kind of pain to get to the end of the year, only to learn there's more you need to play before you see your kid get older.

Despite that, I still got a whole lot done, to the point that I spent most of the last two years just idling because I had nothing else to do. Same way I got to the endgame of the original, come to think of it.

I never bought the teddybear. I wasn't gonna do it when my daughter was a teen by the time I had the money. I'm not that dumb. Doesn't do anything but be spoopy anyhow.

I seem to remember the seed maker being instant in the GCN game. If it was, it got seriously debuffed in the remake-- you can only put up to twelve crops in at a time, and it takes 20 in-game hours for the seeds to be produced. Obviously meant to balance how absurdly high tree seeds could be sold for, but the prices were already slashed to pieces, so it was just overkill and made it hard to keep up with what crops I did or didn't have seeds for.

I genuinely hope I never have to make nine of each rare crop again. I mean, technically I never had to anyway, but I did and it was so much pain.

Cows are absurdly expensive in the remake. I guess it's to balance the fact that there's no limit on how long cows can be milked, but

here's the dirty secret

If you have a cow and a bull, they'll mate on their own without you needing to order for it. My cows in the GCN games were constantly getting pregnant. Anyone who complains about cows going dry was doing it wrong.

Sheep are significantly more affordable, though. So I ended up getting mostly those instead.

That being said, a star/brown/marble cow giving S Milk (and the latter two getting their milk processed into butter and cheese respectively) does give you more profit than golden wool does... until you get the Blessed Clippers and you start getting two bundles of wool per sheep (which is insane). But wowie are they expensive...

My new personal hell is having a dozen sheep following me around to scream at me. Did they do that in the original(s)? I never bothered with them....

I'm still sad Flora's not a marriage candidate.

As I mentioned, I was basically without anything to do by the end of the game. Which makes the infinite postgame chapter's existence kinda funny? I don't know what else I'd want to do with that, since as far as I've been able to tell nobody has new dialogue.

No really. I can't even 100% the game anymore because Van stops selling goats, I have over 5 million G, I've grown each one of every plant, caught every fish, dug up all the digsite items, and have all in-game achievements. What would I wanna keep playing for?

Also, why isn't Nina in said postgame chapter? If it's the afterlife anyway, then she should be there too, dangit!

I still don't understand why the dog is trainable.

The player's child is so adorable. I love my daughter so much, she's such a sweetheart.

Wish her self-esteem wasn't so low from chapter 3 onwards, though... another reason to see the game married to somebody else.

I am so grateful there's no friendship decay for the villagers.

What a great game.

And now, some of me rambling about my history with the series:

I don't know what drew me to the original AWL game. All I knew is that there was coverage of it in an issue of Nintendo Power, and I just kept reading and re-reading it. I had a couple friends that swore by the HM games (in particular, 64 and StHL), but beyond that I guess something about it intrigued me to the point that it became a game I really wanted. Had a plan of how I would run the farm and who I'd marry. And counted the days before I finally got it (must've been a birthday or Christmas present).

And I played through it, beginning to end. Despite my brother scorning it. Despite one of the friends that swore by HM64 thinking it was such a watered down derivative it made him laugh several times even as he tried playing it himself.

I also got the girl version when it came out. Don't remember how I afforded it, but I remember that I was too embarrassed by wanting it to let anyone know I did get it but myself. Never managed to finish it, but boy howdy did it have a lot of gender euphoria. I got to be a mom.

...I tried other HM games since. I got Magical Melody (which I recall using Action Replay to turn my player character into a girl that make perfect sense to me now but I don't know what I had been thinking at the time), but dropped it shortly after my wife started expecting.

I got both versions of HMDS (mermaid wife yes please), but only stuck with them for about two or three in-game years each.

I got Isle of Happiness, but honestly the fact that every item had decay to it stressed me to the point I couldn't play without Action Replay codes to keep everything top quality and freshness forever-- and even then the crap you gotta juggle is crazy. Played long enough to marry the Witch though, so that ruled.

I got Hero of Leaf Valley, and that one I actually stuck through to the end (including forgetting how many zeros were in fifty thousand and ended up raising up half a million G before the second year's end), but got too paralyzed with indecision on who to marry (it was mainly between Gwen and Aurelia, since I read that Alice couldn't be raised to red heart after the credits. Game seemed to have thought I had my sights set on Lyla, though).

I tried Rune Factory 4... but something about it just didn't vibe with me so I bounced early.

Every now and then, I thought about going back to A(n)WL, or maybe trying a different one. Never did, though. And Stardew or other inspired's didn't ever really grab me.

And yet I inhaled the chance to play the AWL remake when the time came. And now I've finished it. Go figure. I'm still not sure what it is about that game specifically that calls to me.

I think the amount of interactability with your kid is a big factor, though.

[oekaki-chan]

hi clef!! i first stumbled upon your art on twitter via a comic tutorial you posted. i finally decided play AA a month ago and remembered about your art and thankfully found your account again. After also finding your tumblr,, its just. wow. going through people's art tags is always a journey, especially when theres stuff in it that are older than a decade, haha. i just wanna say that your improvement over time motivates me to keep drawing, as ive been recently studying forms and shapes in other people's art, and yours is definitely one of the best examples. As im taking a gap year to work on a portfolio for college, i finally had the proper opportunity to start studying art as i wanted.

i mainly wanted to ask- when drawing, what types of references do you use for character poses? they always seem really natural but also have that "homemade feeling"- as in applied really well into an art style. The way you draw expressions is also really immaculate! I was wondering (if its alright with you), whether if you have tips on that too?

thank you regardless, and i hope you have a great day!

I hope this doesn't come off as bragging because honestly when I'm drawing poses I almost never use references 😭💦 During my art journey I conditioned myself to draw without references because my parents didn't allow me to have internet access until I went to high school, it was hard to get references for drawing so it was mostly just "frick around and see what happens", I just tried to project whatever I have in mind into the canvas 😂 Instead of training my eyeballing skill, I ended up training my muscle memory and the way I imagine poses in my head (that's why I'm a bit bad with realism drawing because I have bad eyeballing and real-time observation skills).

I do use references sometimes when the pose is a bit hard to get because it has many foreshortenings and hidden parts like this Diavolo doodle I made, but I studied the reference instead of tracing it so I can get a better gist of how things work in case I'll need to draw the same pose again in the future. (Also I hate that whenever I try to find some references for a specific pose google suggested me porn sites instead zzzz)

But I'm not saying using references is wrong, not at all 😭!! It's just my way of drawing! I'm lazy and get distracted easily once I'm scrolling the internet pages, it's also why I don't usually use 3D models in CSP because trying to get the right pose with that may take a while and the outcome isn't really worth the time because it often looks stiff, weightless, and unnatural.

And same goes for expressions! I think being a (somewhat) avid manga reader extends my visual library for expression (and um, I think drawing steamy stuff helps too because you can practice drawing exaggerated expressions and poses, just make sure you're not drawing the same type of expression and pose/angle over and over 😳💦)

I hope this helps and I'm sorry it got a bit long 😭😭!!

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you have a crush on college student renjun so you make use of your best lamest flirting attempts and surprisingly they work?!

pairing: renjun x gn!reader

genre: college!au, romance, pure fluff

warnings: very lame jokes, mentions of a cruel prank in the past (someone asking out renjun as a joke, pls never do that to people!), lots of awkwardness & sweetness, a bit of swearing, reader has an obsession with renjun’s pretty hands

word count: 4.7k

It had been a while since you had a crush so strong you even had a hard time focusing in class. Usually, you were a very good student, diligently taking notes and participating when the professor asked questions. But that was until you saw Renjun for the first time. 

It was like something possessed you and suddenly you couldn't think about anything else but his pretty, gentle face, his angelic voice and his lovely hands always drawing something in his notebook. It certainly didn't help much that you were seated right next to him during your shared lectures. It most certainly didn't help that you forgot all your vocabulary when you were in his immediate vicinity. Usually, your teachers and friends described you as well-spoken and eloquent, always knowing the right thing to say. 

But that was, of course, until Renjun. All words disappeared from your poor brain whenever he was around. And it's not like you didn't want to talk to him, get to know him better. But you physically couldn't bring yourself to form a coherent sentence. You kept telling yourself it was just a silly crush and it would pass in time. But the more time passed, the stronger you felt the need to do something about your feelings. Naturally, you couldn't speak, but there was still something you could do. Something you probably did best. Write.

So one day, after what felt like an eternity of yearning, you finally gathered the courage to act on your emotions. Taking a small sheet of paper out of your notebook, you wrote a little something. It was probably super lame but apparently, even your writing skills were affected by your crush on him. As soon as your "masterpiece" was done, you slid it towards Renjun before you could chicken out and change your mind about this whole thing. The note had the following text:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your drawings are almost As pretty as you. P.S. Key word: almost ;)

The second he spotted the little note which was folded in a hurry, he opened it curiously. Once he read its insides, you could hear him snort under his breath. Was it that bad? You couldn't help but worry. Then, he took his own pen and started writing something under it. That was a good sign, right? You were feeling hopeful. Once he was done, he slid the paper towards you. You opened it in a rush. His response was:

Hey! Are you bullying my art?!?

You looked at him in confusion. How could he have possibly misunderstood? However, he was too focused on multitasking (drawing most of the time and occasionally taking notes based on the lecture) to spot your reaction. You decided you had no choice but to be as explicit as possible and wrote another note:

Nooo, I meant to compliment both you and your art, sorry if it came off wrong and lame :(

When he received it, you could swear you saw him smiling a little, which made your heart melt. How was he so beautiful? Soon enough, his reply came:

That's alright, I'm just teasing...Also, it worked.

You couldn't believe it. It worked? You'd successfully grabbed his attention by using this first-grade flirting method in college? You were suddenly feeling brave and kept writing. It was too late to turn back time.

I just think you're really pretty and cool especially when you draw but I was too hesitant to talk to you directly...

When he read your most recent note, he even gave you a look of disbelief, which you couldn't interpret until you saw his response:

Cool? Wow, that's a first...And it's ok, I don't bite.

You chuckled quietly and suddenly noticed that class was ending soon. You couldn't wait until tomorrow so you hurriedly wrote the content of your next note:

What do I have to do to get your number?

Renjun shook his head in amusement and this time, his reply came quicker than before:

*number enclosed* Here, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You could hear the lecturer saying his words of conclusion and you hurried to respond via another note, because you couldn't trust your voice to actually speak to Renjun. Not yet, at least. So, you wrote:

Thank you!!! Here is mine: *number enclosed*

And just as he received your final note, the students around you started gathering their things. You simply looked at Renjun and you still couldn't believe he'd actually replied to your silly flirting and even gave you his number! You waved him goodbye like a lovesick fool and practically ran outside of the lecture hall. Stage fright whomst? Try having a crush on the prettiest boy in the world.

After you went back home, you debated calling Renjun. Eventually, you talked yourself out of it. What if you said something stupid and embarrassing? With texting, you could at least have more time to think things through before sending them. Actually speaking to him seemed too terrifying a task to accomplish. So, you texted him excitedly and your heart did a back-flip when he replied. Was it strange that you already missed him, even though it had only been a couple of hours since you last saw him? Naturally, you couldn't tell him that, it would probably freak him out. So, you settled for texting (for the time being).

Renjun: Why did you run away after class?

You: I was too nervous to speak to you, I'm sorry!!!

Renjun: That's strange, I see you talking to your friends all the time...Am I so scary?!?

You: Nooo, you're not scary, I'm just being an idiot 😔

Renjun: Top of the class does not equal idiot but I'll let it slide this time

You: Thank you for your generosity!

Renjun: What are you up to?

You: Probably gonna work on that assignment for next week

You: Sorry, I'm so boring 😔

Renjun: First of all, you don't have to apologize so much, you did nothing wrong

Renjun: Second of all, saaame. We can brainstorm together if you want?

You: Sorry, I'll stop. Oops, I did it again. Pretend you didn't see it.

You: Also omg, yes pls, that would be great!

And that is how your friendship with Renjun started. Texting on your phones and exchanging notes during class lasted a week until you finally decided to ask him out. Again, via text, because you were feeling too shy to speak to him. The only other contact you'd had was waving at each other. And it's not like he spoke to you, either. There were two explanations for that: 1) he chose to respect your decision or 2) he was possibly just as shy as you were. Whatever the reason, you thought this could not go on forever so you managed to find the bravery to propose a date.

You: Do you wanna go out with me? 👉🥺👈 

Renjun: Sure, where do you wanna go?

You: Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get this far lol

You: Where do YOU wanna go?

Renjun: Hmm, there's this new art gallery I've been meaning to visit...if that's okay with you

You: Anything is good with me as long as I get to see your pretty face

Renjun: What

You: I said you're pretty

Renjun: Shut up, oh my God...

You: Do you want me to stop?

Renjun: Say that again

You: You're pretty

Renjun: 😳😳😳

Renjun: I can't wait to see you again

You: Same here

Once you got to the front of the art gallery, it struck you how strange it was that you would speak to Renjun for the first time ever. You mentally braced yourself as you awaited his arrival anxiously. Your nails were digging into the inside of your hands and you were terrified you'd pierce holes through your own skin. You told yourself this was silly, you had no reason to be so nervous. Renjun was a total sweetheart and he obviously liked talking...well, writing to you. You needn't worry that much, you kept repeating in your mind. You were too busy hyping yourself up to notice him approaching behind you. Too busy to be prepared for what came next.

"Hiii," Renjun greeted you with a surprise back hug.

"Oh dear," you jumped in shock as you turned around.

"Did I scare you, angel?"

Shit. Already with the pet names? How were you supposed to survive?

"No, it's fine," you waved him off, trying to play it cool. "Isn't it weird this is the first time we're actually speaking to each other?"

"Um...kinda," Renjun scratched the back of his head. "But I like it, it's what makes this so special."

"Wow, you sure do have a way with words," you chuckled.

"Shall we go inside?" he suggested.

"Yes, please."

As you looked around the art gallery, you kept pointing excitedly at the paintings, while Renjun was quietly evaluating them and telling you interesting stories about the artists. You couldn't help but be amazed by how attractive he was as he exhibited his knowledge. And of course, you couldn't help but wonder at how he was so much more beautiful than all the art you've ever seen. Naturally, you wouldn't tell him that. First of all, because it was too lame to speak aloud. Second of all, because your voice would undoubtedly betray you and crack or something even more embarrassing. As time passed, you were surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, despite your previous concerns. Renjun was very polite and soft-mannered and he made you feel comfortable, while the two of you looked at the paintings and discussed them. Once you'd seen everything, you were starting to feel a bit bummed out that your lovely date was coming to an end. When you were outside the art gallery, you impulsively asked:

"Can I walk you home?"

"I mean...sure. On one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to walk you home next time."

"There'll be a next time?" you whispered hopefully.

"I hope I don't sound presumptuous if I share my observation we both had a wonderful time."

"That's perfectly alright. Your observation is correct," you admitted.

"I live just around the corner, though. You really don't have to-"

"But I want to."

"So do I," Renjun said and the two of you began walking towards his home.

"I was wondering about something...You already know I didn't speak to you because I was feeling shy, but why didn't you? I have two theories, but I'm curious which one is more on point."

"Do tell and I'll try my best to enlighten you," he joked.

"Okay, so theory number one is you were being respectful of my wish not to talk yet. Theory number two is that you're just as shy as I am."

Renjun laughed and you could swear this was the sweetest sound in the entire universe.

"Am I so transparent? Honestly, it's a little bit of both. But there's another part you didn't guess. But it's too embarrassing."

"Come on, tell meee! It can't be more embarrassing than my lame attempts to flirt with you."

Renjun smiled gently.

"Well, to be honest, I couldn't believe you thought I was cool and pretty...I even feared this was some sort of prank. It wouldn't be the first time someone decided to mess with me like that."

"Renjun, are you serious? I don't understand why anyone would...Scratch that, whoever messed with you didn't deserve even a fraction of your attention. I meant every word I said. I really like you...and your paintings. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it aloud earlier. You genuinely deserve to hear nice things more."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he blinked cutely. "But enough about me. I never told you...how beautiful you are. How kind and smart."

"I know," you waved him off teasingly. "But coming from you, this means a lot."

Renjun shook his head, amused by your words.

"We should go somewhere you like next time. Maybe a bookshop?" he suggested.

"Am I so transparent?" you repeated his words. "But sure, yeah. That sounds nice."

"Well, this is me," he said, pointing towards his home.

"Already? Aw, time sure flies by when you're having fun."

"I'll see you tomorrow in class, right?"

"Of course," you promised and before you could talk yourself out of it, gave him a quick but heartfelt hug. "Bye, Renjun."

"Bye, angel."

After your first date with Renjun, things were going quite smoothly. You finally got over your nervousness when it came to talking to him and the two of you would occasionally whisper things to each other during class. The first time he held your hand under the desk your cheeks filled with colour. Despite your embarrassment, you held his hand right back and granted him with a grateful smile. After that, holding hands in class (whenever you weren't busy taking notes) became like second nature to you two. It just felt so sweet and comfortable to be close to him. You couldn't wait till the next weekend for your second date. Even though you were just going to a bookshop and had nothing that special planned out, you enjoyed being around him so much that you were more than excited for spending time with him one-on-one. No professors or other students to distract you.

When the day finally arrived, you were surprised to find out your anxious self had made a comeback. Even though you were around him everyday and had grown accustomed to holding a conversation, it had been an entire week since your first date when it was just the two of you and you couldn't help but get cold feet as you were waiting in front of the bookshop. This time Renjun didn't surprise you from behind, you could see him approaching from a distance. Mentally bracing yourself for his inevitable arrival, you knew you'd be an awkward mess no matter how hard you tried.

"Hey, angel," he greeted you with the usual hug.

"It's nice to see you again, Renjun," you replied dumbly, briefly melting into his arms.

"You saw me yesterday, remember?" he teased you.

"Um, yeah, but still," you chuckled.

"Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself," Renjun immediately noticed the change in your behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be? Everything's peachy," you lied, but he didn't seem to believe you.

"Be honest with me, please," Renjun asked. You suddenly remembered what he'd confided in you during your first date. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting you after someone in his past had had the nerve to pull such a cruel prank on a soul as sweet as his. You felt guilty for lying rightaway and began explaining yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck anything up. Like I just did by lying and swearing. Fuck. I did it again, didn't I? I'll shut up now," you were rambling anxiously.

"Relax, Y/N, I totally get it. I was just worried maybe you didn't want to be here...with me."

"What? Nonsense. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. No one else I'd rather be with."

"Well, the feeling's mutual so there's no need for concern. Let's look at those books, yeah?"

"Yeah, sounds good, Renjun."

As the two of you went inside and started exploring the hundreds of shelves together, you felt yourself relaxing a little. Being surrounded by so many familiar titles, so many gorgeous covers was comforting. And as you kept showing Renjun some of your favourite books and telling him about your most beloved characters, he realized you were back to your usual self in no time. Attentively listening and occasionally sharing his opinions on certain authors, you didn't notice how quickly time passed by and how much you had enjoyed yourself and each other's company. Once you had looked through the bookshop in its entirety, you felt like it was too early to put an end to your date, but you didn't want to come off as too clingy or something. So, you simply looked at Renjun, expecting him to say what he wanted to do next.

"I promised you I'll walk you home this time, didn't I?" he smoothly said.

"I believe you did," you giggled. It was so sweet of him to remember such a detail.

"I'm a man of my word so lead the way," Renjun replied, offering you his arm.

"It will be my pleasure," you eagerly took his arm and the two of you began walking. You were deliberately moving at a slow place, simply because you didn't want this to end and felt like prolonging the time around him.

"Your hands are so pretty," you blurted out at one point.

"You like my hands, huh?" Renjun smirked.

"Did I say that out loud?" you were undoubtedly blushing really hard.

"I'm afraid so."

You felt completely mortified as you covered your face with your own hands.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. You can tell me anything. Chances are I'll take it as a compliment."

"Really?" you sneaked a peak. "You don't think I'm weird?"

"Maybe a little bit, but it's one of the things I like about you."

"One?" you blinked curiously.

"You're really fun to be around and you've been nothing but sweet to me. And of course, you're stunning, but that goes without saying."

"Without saying? I don't mind hearing it, though."

"I'll have that in mind," Renjun smiled gently.

"Renjun?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my hand?" you almost begged.

"I don't know, can I?" he tormented you with a joke.

"Will you hold my hand?" you corrected yourself.

"All you had to do was ask," Renjun acquiesced and intertwined your fingers.

Walking hand in hand, you eventually reached your place. As you two stared at one another, you refusing to go inside, him refusing to go, both of you refusing to let go of the other's hand, you thought to yourself how badly you wanted to kiss him. You had no idea if it was too early for that but you knew that the longer you tried to postpone it, the more you'd crave him. And you were an impatient person. So you quickly kissed him without thinking much. It was a bit awkward and rushed but at least, you had finally done as you wanted. Renjun looked taken aback and blinked at you a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again. "I just..."

He silenced you softly with another kiss, this time more slowly and putting your mind and heart at ease. You lost yourself in the feeling of his plush lips against yours, finally letting go of his hand so that you could wrap yours around his neck. Hesitant at first but growing bolder by the second, you could sense Renjun's tongue testing the waters. You slightly parted your lips, letting him in. As the kiss intensified, you could feel him becoming more eager to touch you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. When you were seconds away from losing your breath, you finally broke the kiss. Opening your eyes to look at him, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He'd kissed you back.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing so much. Especially, when you haven't done anything wrong," Renjun scolded you politely.

You opened your mouth to argue, but when you realized your immediate response would have been another 'I'm sorry', you closed it. A second later, you came up with a different reply.

"I guess you'll have to discipline me, then," you huffed in a challenge.

"Dumbass," Renjun flicked your forehead.

"Hey!" you complained with a pout. "That hurts."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Renjun gave an unamused look.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," you mumbled, not expecting him to actually...kiss your forehead. But he did. And damn your knees for threatening to give out.

"Feel better yet?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

"Get inside already," Renjun tickled your sides, nudging you in the direction of your door.

"You want to get rid of me so badly?"

"No, but we can stand here forever if you don't," he rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to invite you in?"

"Don't tempt me and go," he was impossible to sway.

"Okay, okay," you relented. "See you tomorrow, Renjun!"

For your third date Renjun suggested something different. While your first and second date had all taken place in public locations, this time he offered going to his place. And maybe the shock on your face was too obvious, because Renjun was quick to keep talking and almost take it back.

"We don't have to if you don't want to! We can just watch something at the cinema or whatever. Forget I mentioned it if you're uncomfortable."

You quickly shook your head.

"No, no, I do want to come over! I was just...not expecting it."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"A hundred per cent," you nodded excitedly.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm at two hundred per cent," Renjun teased.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him.

"It's not if I'm winning," he kept playing around.

You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we watching?" you asked.

"You can't go wrong with Harry Potter, am I right?"

"You are so right," you squealed. "Which house are you in?"

"Don't get me started. Sometimes I get Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin, it's a mess."

"That's pretty cool, though," you were practically staring at him with heart eyes at this point.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?"

"Am I so transparent?" you complained, this line becoming something of a running gag between the two of you.

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath and you blushed, not managing to maintain eye contact.

When the time arrived for you to go to Renjun's place, you were more excited rather than nervous. He was so easy to talk to and you were genuinely making so many wonderful memories that you had made it your mission to not waste any second worrying needlessly.

"I have arrived," you announced the obvious as you stood at his door.

"I can see that," Renjun chuckled. "Come on in."

"I wasn't sure if I should bring something so I bought some pizza on the way. It's still hot, so I hope you're hungry," you said as you followed him inside like a puppy.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful. And I always have enough space left for pizza."

You grinned and the minute you put the box on the table and your arms were free, you wrapped them around Renjun in a hug.

"You're so warm," you murmured against his skin.

He kissed the top of your head swiftly. Soon after, the two of you were too busy re-watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, eating pizza and holding hands to talk much. Once the movie was over, you realized how badly you didn't want to go home and how cozy leaning your head on Renjun's shoulder felt. And how much you liked him and couldn't stop thinking about his hands, his smile and his overall existence.

"Do you want to go home already?" Renjun asked the dreaded question.

"I mean, not really, but I don't wanna impose myself on you," you whispered.

"Don't be so formal," Renjun replied. "Just stay a little longer."

"Yayyy!" you were quite overjoyed and kissed his cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, I don't know. I could give you a tour around the place."

"Sure, that sounds fun," you immediately agreed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's just a regular college guy's apartment."

"I'm sure I'll be amazed by every little detail."

"Even my socks?"

"Especially your socks," you joked.

As he showed you around his apartment, you couldn't help but be amazed by how Renjun-like everything was. From the snug kitchen to his art supplies scattered around. Every corner made the atmosphere feel extremely homey. Until you saw something that you hadn't expected, something that hadn't come up in conversation before. A stunning grand piano. You looked at the instrument and then at Renjun and finally, back at the piano.

"Do you play?"

"No, I just keep things like that as an accessory," he responded sarcastically. "Of course, I play."

"Can you...no, wait," you stopped yourself before making a similar mistake to the one you made a while ago. "Will you play something for me?"

"Right now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," you gave him the very best pleading look you were capable of.

Renjun sighed reluctantly and sat down on the bench in front of the piano.

"Don't just stand there awkwardly, sit next to me," he urged you courteously. 

You followed his advice and took the free spot. However, nothing could have possibly prepared you for witnessing Renjun's skills up-close. Watching him play was like magic. You were simply in awe and couldn't help but stare at his pretty fingers hitting the keys in just the right ways. When he was finished performing the piece, you were too frozen to do anything. Couldn't even manage to clap, even though he deserved it so much. But you were too transfixed by his playing and those damn hands of his you couldn't possibly move.

"Earth to Y/N?" Renjun went as far as snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

"Huh?" you let out.

"Did I enchant you or what?"

"I think you did," you chuckled. "Just...wow. You're insanely good."

He looked away bashfully.

"Thanks. It just takes practice."

"Nah, I've heard people play before but what you have is different. So pure and genuine. Like a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I think I'm falling in love with you. I really mean every word."

"Care to repeat that?"

"I really mean..." you started, still not registering what exactly you'd said. How far you'd gone. What you couldn't take back.

"Before that," Renjun reminded you gently. "You know. The part about falling in love with me."

"Shit. I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" you asked dumbly. "It's too early for that, I know. I'm really sorry. Let's just pretend I said nothing and forget about it, yeah?"

In your panic, you jumped up from the bench and were about to escape like a coward but Renjun grabbed your hand before you could take another step.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

"W-what?" you stammered.

"And I don't care about whether it's too early or not. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear it. So the question is...what are you going to do about that?"

"Me? What...am I supposed to do?"

"What you want to do," Renjun clarified.

"Um...I want to keep falling in love with you, Renjun. And holding your pretty hands. Spending time with you. Listening to your angelic voice. What I want...is for you to be my boyfriend."

"I thought I already was."

"You were?"

"We went on a couple of dates...we kissed...Haven't I made it obvious enough?"

"Oh, right," you chuckled. "Sorry."

"Say that word one more time, I dare you," Renjun slowly ran a finger down your lips.

"S-sorry?" you had to test his patience. Before you could argue, he kissed you fiercely, wrapping his palms around your cheeks. You were drowning beneath his touch, which was ridiculous, considering he was also setting your lips on fire. You figured if saying sorry too much was going to end up like this, you would be a fool not to take advantage of it.

"Pretty angel," Renjun whispered against your mouth. "My pretty angel."

You were practically melting and the only thing holding you together were Renjun's arms.

"For fear of sounding lame, I'm inclined to say your pretty angel's almost as pretty as you. Key word: almost," you giggled, recalling your earliest attempts at flirting with him.

"Lies," Renjun shook his head.

"Hey, it worked the first time!" you pouted.

"It only worked because you're the pretty one," Renjun ruffled your hair playfully.

"Oh my God, shut up," you covered your face to hide how red it was.

"Never."

The End

[the-stray-liger]

when your current art looks shitty compared to what you used to do that's when you know your getting better at it

ive got an old sketch on my wall from middle school of Typical Not Self-Insert Character In Cool Armor With Giant Sword. It's incredible. How did I do that. I can't draw like that now.

but I can SEE this old picture, despite the embarrassment around it's actual subject, is actually good. When I first hung it up way back when it was just because I wished I had a sword. Now I look at the confident lines, the shading, the grasp of depth perception on so many angular objects, the way the cloth of the cape falls in folds that have weight to them. I can recognize what makes it a nice drawing. I couldn't do that before.

there's this thing i read about once where people who are getting better at a skill go through this cycle of This Is Impossible to WOW I'M SO GREAT AT THIS to I Have Lost The Ability To Preform Even The Most Basic Part Of This And Should Fire Myself Forever

and then slowly they realize they can kinda do it again. Hey, they can even do that one thing they've never been able to do before!

rinse, recycle, repeat. Every year I go through it. Depression doesn't help. For a few years I didn't draw anything at all and almost burned all my old sketches. Now I'm doodling ducktale characters and making fat circular birds with twig legs.

I aged out of school and have never had a job (thank you family for not letting me starve) and my whole damn life people have been asking me why I don't sell my drawings.

because I can't draw, I tell them, staring at the things I made two years ago and couldn't replicate now if someone put gun to my head.

but sometimes, for a few months, I can. I can sit down and have an idea and make it happen. Sometimes the idea is a favorite character. Sometimes its just a random pattern of flowers. Every time it happens I'm scared it'll be the last time.

Then I remind myself of all the other people who go though some version of this stupid cycle. If you like drawing, you'll probably draw again someday- maybe not in the same style as you used to- but if it makes you happy you'll do it for the happy feelings, and if you draw you'll get better at it, and as you get better you'll learn to see all the flaws, and you'll get discouraged, and that's normal.

I also remind myself of how other people always seem to like the drawings I'm least happy with, and pass over the ones I'm actually proud of. People have different taste. Everyone else's sucks compared to mine, for example, which a completely true and unbiased fact (lol).

Right now I can draw because I never show any of my drawings to anyone. They're for me. Mine. And the voice in the back of my head chattering about wasting time and being a useless burden can go stuff itself.

Yesterday I drew a cartoon duck. It sucks. I had a lot of fun WHILE making it though. And the duck looks a lot better than it did when I first drew one a week ago. Practice makes progress. Talent is bullshit. Skills are learned and maintained.

so my advice is draw something badly and giggle while you do.

Hey anon! You're absolutely right. I remember back when I was drawing fulll time going thru a couple art blocks where everything I made looked awful bc I was learning to look at it with more critical eyes and my hands hadn't caught up yet. I feel like that's a big part of my burnout too-I suddenly learned a lot of theory and I had come to a point where I hadn't developped the skills to match and it destroyed a lot of my confidence and self esteem

It's also that at the end of the day I forgot who I was drawing for bc I was so obsessed with social media recognition and with algorithms and stuff the harder I worked the less notifications I got

And I generally have a HUGE problem with guilt and feeling like a burden too like I feel you 600% on that lol I always felt terrible bc I couldn't make a living out of my art

I think Im gonna work again on making art that's only for me and drawing things I enjoy even if it's not like the best quality or quantity. I'm gonna take it slow (even if it drives me up the wall) and have fun again!

Thank you so much for the kind word and advice!!

[kaz11283]

Chapter 5

Characters: Clint, you, Loki

Warnings: this is a SLOW burn, slight angst, fluff at the end, Loki starting shit.

Summary: life has never really bwen this complicated. Or well the life that you think you know has never really been this complicated. Living with the avengers, learning new things, yeah its gonna be a long road but what else do you have to look forward to other than the random runins with the god of mischief.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had arrived at the tower and just as long as your incounter with Loki, you hadnt had much time to think about it though since you were normally nose deep in class work or training with Nat and Clint since Tony had sent you the message "If your gonna be an avenger you have to train like one, training starts at 6." You had left him on read after that, you had never been a morning person and you sure as hell wasnt about to start now.

"Alright y/n, lets try you on the bow today." Clint smiled walking into the arena where most of your training took place.

"After I finish this." You said pointing to your coffee. "I swear, you would think that after saving lives you would want to sleep in." You grumbled.

"Bad guys dont sleep, we dont get to sleep." Clint said wiping down a few of his practice arrows.

"You didnt get back till like 3 this morning. Im really starting to wonder if you sleep at all." You tossed your cup away and got up starting to do your stretches.

"Get over here so I can show you how to hold this thing." He saod holding out the bow.

"I know how to use a bow, I was in archery in high school. Top of my team." You grabbed the bow feeling the cool metal in your hand. His bow was diffrent than what you was use to, as light as air almost were yours had been heavy.

"This bow is probably a little different than what your use to. The metal is vibranium, the strings are made of some type of industrial woven string that Tony invinted in his lab. Might be a littlw hard for you to pull back." He smiled looking at the bow like a child.

"It is very beautiful." You examined it looking down the sights has you pulled the string back easily. "Absolutly magnificent peice of weaponry." You looked over at him and seen that he was staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"No one else has ever been able to draw the string back like that." You let the string gently go back into place amd handed it back to him.

"I told you, I was in archery while I was in high school."

"Theres no way that someone no matter how skilled they are can pull that back."

"Well if your forgetting, apperantly Im not from here either."

"Yup almost forgot, Asguardian. Anyways. You know how to use one of these so lets set up a few targets and get to work. Tony wants to try you out on a few different things, eval you, and see what suits you best. Im already leaning toward you being good at the bow."

After he talked you through some of the basics that you had informed him you knew and he insisted on stating that it was 'mandatory' you were finally able to pick up one of the training bows.

"These bows suck. Stark has all the money in the world and he buys walmart brand bows? If you pull this one back to many times the string will break. Why cant I just use yours?" You roll your eyes looking back at Clint.

"My bow, my baby. If you want ine bad enough you can start off at the bottom and work your way up. You have a card why dont you buy one?" He countered, just then the foor opened drawing your attention.

"Sorry, didnt realize that the area was occupied today, I just wanted to get a few throws in woth the new daggers Stark and Banner decided to enhance for me. Wanted to make sure that they wouldnt bloe up in my face." Loki said walking over to the bay next to you and Clint. You hadnt had a moment alone with the trickster since in the hall weeks ago and now he was here acting as of nothingbhad happened. You looked down at the daggers that he had laid out.

"Wow, those are beautiful." You noticed that not only had he laid down two simple green handeled knives but he had also laid down a set of electric blue ones and a set of gold handle ones engraved with ancient symbols and roses with the stems winding down the hilt. "May I?" You asked leaning down to get a closer look.

"Of course y/n, you are the one that gave me those." He answered casually. Your breathing hitched and you turned to look at him.

"Thats not funny Loki."

"I dont know what your talking about. I was simpl-" he started before you cut him off.

"You know damn good and well what I am talking about. What did you expect? Me to pick it up and everything come barreling back to me? Here I'll do you one even better." You stormed up to the daggers and grabbed one of the gold ones up throwing it at the target on the far side of the room. You had expected it to fall short and clink to the floor but you never hears it fall. When you looked at the target you noticed you had hit the middle.

Clints jaw had dropped as he was looking around the wall to see what you had been yelling about. Loki looked at you with a smug expression. "I assume they must have had knife throwing classes at the school you attended as well."

"Shut up. Clint are we done, I have some studying for class that I really need to do." You looked at clint as he knodded still awestruck. "Thanks, I'll talk with Tony about getting a better bow for me to practice with." You took off toward your room.

Later after you had taken a hot shower and changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt you decided to go to the one place in the tower that you had decided to claim as your own little study corner. It was located on of of the high up floors that happened to be more of an observation deck, you could watch the team leave on missions, see the ocean, and watch some of the most beautiful sun sets that you had seen. You had notice while checking the place out that there was a fairly large window seat that you could spead your work out on as you looked out over the city, this small part of the tower was your little hid away, you hadnt seen any other member of the team up here so you figured when you needed the alone time you could come here. It had seemed to work for the most part until today.

You notice the shadow of the figure standing over you before looking up into the eyes of Lokis confused ones, you had noticed his lips moving before rolling your eyes and taking out your noise canceling ear pods.

"What do you want Loki?" You sighed placing them back into the chsrging dock.

"Well if you hadnt had those things in you would have heard me tell you that I was sorry for earlier." He sassed crossing his arms.

"How did you find me? No one really bothers coming up here." You pulled your legs under your chin and covering you feet with the throw that you had brought up with you this time.

"The AI system has no bounderies when it comes to privacy, it can tell you were anyone is in this god forsaken place." He responded. "May I sit?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll sit anyways." He shrugged.

"Then what is the point in asking?" You leaned forward moving your papers and books out of the way. He reached down and grabbed a few of the papers to help you.

"Your doing a paper on Shakespeare?" He asked as he sat down reading over the page.

"Umm, yeah. Part of my agreement to come here is so that I can finish up my collage classes. Drama and Art Major." He hamded the paper back to you so that you could stick it in your binder. He gave you a look that you were use to getting from him. "Don't say it Loki." You out your hand up to stop him before he could even open his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He held his hands up.

"Hum, interesting. The god of lies actually sucks at lying. I should remember that." You smiled. This was the first time you had actually felt half way confortable around him.

"I could never lie to you." He smiled back. "You have always had a knack for seeing right through me."

"I wish you wouldnt do that." You sighed leaning your heas agints the window behind you.

"Do what exactly?" He askes mirroring your position.

"Where you mention something about my past. Its annoying and it breaks my heart."

"Well Dove, how do you think I feel? The worst part about it for me is that while you remember nothing I am stuck remembering everything. Your past, my past, our past together. It truly is the worst pain that I have ever felt. To have something that you have wanted for so long in front of you and they dont even want you back." He sighed looking out the window.

"Loki," you crossed your legs and placed your elbows on your knees. "I have never said that I didnt want you. I just dont know what is what."

"So you do want me?" He laughted.

"That is not what I meant and you know it." You leanded back again. "Tell me about us. About how you and Thor know me." He eyes lite up.

Chapter 6

Tag list:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

[sugar-petals]

Can u introduce yuzuru to us the caro way?👀

so you want to know about the one and only. ♡😌

yuzuru hanyū (25) of sendai, japan: the most beautiful ice prince with a heart of gold.

….an artist clearly not of this world, he’s been sent to us from another realm. 19 world records, two olympics won, dubbed the greatest figure skater of all time. and the most precious bean on top of that.

but let’s start from the beginning, shall we ♥︎

so, want to spot yuzu on the ice? use this checklist. slender silhouette, an even slimmer waist, feather-like outfits (he sketches those himself; the fandom lovingly calls him swanyu), soft blushy face. he has great androgyny.

outside of performances, you see him either with a deer’s gaze or the brightest, biggest eye smile. also, he’s usually found sitting with his wife: 

which is the ice 😄 these two are together forever. you can discern yuzu from a mile away by how he treats his working ground. 

there is a purity to him. you’d not guess that this is one of the most ardent athletes if you didn’t see what’s around his neck after competitions. the guy’s cuteness is as compelling as his skating technique.

look for it: yuzu’s face is super suave and rosy up close, even after his most energetic performances. some men are handsome, others pretty, he is both. 

even acoustically, he’s hard to miss. applause is all around, and he’s highly expressive. if you see a crying young man getting the high score, that’s yuzuru hanyu. you’ve not seen more beautiful happy tears.

and score reactions, anyway:

so, aye loves, the rumors are true. a cutie-pie off the ice, animated, a real unabashed meme — yuzu is easy-going, talkative. cheery, cheeky, one of a kind. his facial expressions are a league of their own.

if you thought this is the sort of guy who watches cat videos, you are correct 😄

yuz-uwu hanyu, everybody:

his undoubtedly feline behaviour is often unexpected, it stands out with its adorableness, too. a sweetheart par excellence. 

and, how else could it be: vice versa, the big beast on the rink. he’s cutesy, dorky, very well-spoken in daily life, but when it comes to skating, his seriousness escalates. you blink once and suddenly hanyu is a bedazzling, strutting lion :’D his performances stun with confident elegance.

he becomes full of ardor, drama, and focus. you’d never suspect so much fire burns in him. a showman and ambition icon, hands down. 

his skating is dynamic, perfected, and emotional. if you want to see art and the extra mile, tune in when hanyu competes.

the downside is; more light, more shadow. it leaves him crawling on the ice afterwards. yuzu performs so hard, it’s worrying.

he delivers it all. you won’t believe it:

this guy is an asthmatic.

the symptoms aren’t as bad as they used to be, but there are still regular attacks. he said that he’ll never take it as an excuse and often recalls how he started skating because of it. he’s a badass, extremely inspiring. yuzuru defies all limits, including gravity. his jumps have legendary status. 

off the rink, you guessed it: he turns into a wholly different person. 

it all dissolves completely when he’s dorking around again. 

don’t let it deceive you, he’s the no other option than first place type. he could not be any more decorated with titles, he achieved the grand slam in all competitions as of 2020. and still, king of sportsmanship hanyu is respectful and smiley towards all colleagues and never lets anyone feel left out. especially when it comes to his juniors (e.g. yuma kagiyama, 16, below) which says a lot about him.

he bows in every direction before an audience, too. lower than a 90° angle, even. this is more polite than any existing formality in japan.

talk about audience: i introduced fellow japanese skater shoma uno last week, who’s more uncomfortable with social contact and aggression. yuzu, extrovert he is: the exact opposite. he withers away with no people and competition. he’s befriended rivals, had crises over not having someone who could challenge him. when a competitor retires, he’s the one crying in their arms (e.g. with team mate and bff javier fernandez from spain below).

beside his competitive spirit and princely wow factor, hanyu is popular for his winnie pooh tissue box that he caresses, squeezes, and carries everywhere. he loves good luck charms & rituals, pooh is the most important one.

fans throw pooh plushies on the ice after his performances because of it. since it’s gotten so intense, yuzu recently started cleaning them up himself on top of the flower girls for the upcoming skater who could get delayed otherwise. (more about what happens with the piles of plushies later.)

so, the burning question is. 

what made yuzuru hanyu emerge so outstanding an entertainer? how does someone causing so much uproar become like that? it’s not just what kind of appearance he was given, although he really looks his part to a T. you don’t have to be an insider to see it right away.

like literally to a fault. and you can tell the way his blades sound on the ice is different. it’s soft even if he does the most hardcore quadruple jumps. i think it’s because his drive to do this is a higher one, hanyu has an altered relationship with the ice. where his devotion comes from has a more severe reason so, massive trigger warning. 

this is no exaggeration: yuzuru is considered a hero to the japanese. a survivor of the earthquake 2011, he narrowly escaped the collapsing rink in his hometown on that very day. he’s often talked about how the ice shattered underneath his feet and it was the moment that defined his life forever. he could have been dead by the age of 16. his motivation has been set ever since. this man is compelled by something bigger, that’s why you hear it and you feel it. he wants to skate not just for himself but others and seize every day. 

much of his copious charity work — that’s where all the pooh plushies go — went to mend the consequences of the tsunami ever since, he’s looked upon as a great hope in japan. the minister gave him the people’s honor award in 2018. 

now you know why yuzuru has such a fanbase and treats the ice as sacred, you see it in every gesture. his manners are without a single flaw, he helps staff repair the ice after performances. 

you might think it’s odd, but he honors the ground. he’s invested in the integrity of it. that’s why he’s the best skater. it’s gratitude and the will to live fully.

he hates to fall on the ice, he hates to damage it. alongside his feathery weight, that’s why the sound he makes while gliding along is so tender. 

i think that’s also why hanyu’s signature element is the ina bauer. it doesn’t rely on brutal force, instead this element slides across the rink like a swan. yeah, oh my god.

it’s his most well-known dramatic move. the way he surrenders into it. 

hanyu’s back arch and perfect split allow him to do elements no other male skaters can. his biellmann spin, for instance. i know, it’s ridiculous.

and those are just two elements of dozens and dozens. hanyu is a kinetic wizard. i highly rec this record-breaking delivery of his olympic program. in front of his home crowd! he’s just… mind-boggling. i live for his smiles here.

exceptional skater, exceptional mentor: it’s time we look at another puzzle piece that made yuzu the way he is. the masterful brian orser is hanyu’s beloved coach. missing gold by just one mistake at the olympics 1988, brian is now committed to give others what he couldn’t have— successfully so.

orser took the ice prince to gold twice, this hasn’t happened in 66 years. brian is the nicest and most supportive pooh carrier and yuzu’s utmost rock. hanyu’s talent rests safely in these hands.

he gets strict about punctuality lmao! but other than that, his guidance is gentle. canadian he is, brian’s courteousness mixes well with yuzu’s politeness. their bond is strong. as. hell. 

brian picked up yuzu from rock bottom several times. most fateful being hanyu’s accident with a fellow skater during competition warm-ups nov 2014. they collided at a high speed, it was unspeakably nasty. yuzu got knocked out for half a minute and had grave breathing problems but still decided to skate on with what later turned out as an almost-concussion. brian was the most worried ice dad in the world that day.

yuzu cried and crouched and bled like mad and my heart has been broken ever since. i hope he never suffers like that again. promise me you don’t search up the video, it’s a harrowing watch like a stab to the chest. sadly enough, hanyu’s body has still been a notorious wreck, esp. ankle issues regularly give him a hard time 😔

it hurts like a bitch with every jump landing but he takes meds and still manages to win, god knows how. sometimes even with crutches on the podium. at his worst, he’s still the best, it’s a tragedy.

he’s been recovering, or always is, but he pushes himself through injuries. his ambition and perfectionism are boundless. the cause is more important to him than his well-being. this is not an easy guy to stan once you see how he sacrifices and self-destructs. so, it’s good someone protects him. 

mostly from himself because nobody has profoundly surpassed hanyu. he has let himself no choice than to contest himself. not even health, only age can stop yuzu. i think that brian understands this ‘curse of a genius’ effect. his mere presence can make hanyu say these rare words:

his two other coaches contribute to that. tracy wilson (left) has proven to understand his playful side the best while ghislain briand (right) helps yuzuru deal with his fears. so you got 3 people taking care of the golden boy. brian once said: “he is very sheltered” and you can see it’s true.

yuzu eased into learning english and communicates well with his coaches. like with everything, he studies hard and often forces himself to speak during interviews to practice. his skills are astounding. his speaking voice is also very soothing, very amicably low and high alike. yuzu is highly intelligent. he always says something eloquent and interesting.

now, privately, hanyu is very much like you’d expect someone so devoted to skating would be like. he doesn’t go out, has no social media, can’t eat nor sleep very well. no cameras allowed during practice. it figures he is attached to winnie pooh, think about it. in the cartoon, pooh is someone who sleeps, eats, and engages with friends plenty. 

these are the things hanyu can’t do, doesn’t have time/energy/incentive for. he is barred from balance in life but can at least admire this little carefree plushie for it. especially because pooh represents eating lots while yuzuru doesn’t have a good relationship with food (he says it doesn’t go well with jumps etc.), hanyu lives vicariously through him. 

what’s more, you have to see how he throws himself onto others and never wants to let go, yuzuru is extremely cuddly. 

to the degree that mere social customs can’t meet how much he really needs. so, what else can he resort to, he loves mascots and plushies. it’s how the tale goes in japan generally, tough work ethic, high responsibility, high pressure, so people turn to cute fluffy things.

he always fondles pooh’s head, even pretends he’s come to life so he has someone to snuggle with. i think that his isolated lifestyle doesn’t help. so, he gets his affection at least there, you can see how happy it makes him. and again: he does this all for charity.

that’s why fellow skaters are so important to hanyu. it really brings out his social spirit and comforts him best, it’s so wholesome. i’ve not seen someone react so relieved to being embraced, like he’s not been touched for months. skating this, skating that. at the end of the day, hanyu wants love.

as he once said, what motivates him is to express himself in the first place. hanyu is a romantic. it’s written all over him. it reflects in his music choices, his elegant motion, how he designs his outfits:

… and how thoughtfully he talks about marriage. he has big plans for starting a family and coaching after he retires. i won’t be the only one squeezing lucky charm pooh in my imagination so it turns out well for him. please make this heart of gold heal and see all his wishes come true ♡🐻

[aromantic-romance-writer]

Tengen Uzui x Fem! Pillar! Reader

[I Value You The Most]

How many times have this gorgeous man made me jealous and straight at the same time, I have no idea-

So I made this to let those emotions all out lmao.

Pretty much self-indlugent though :((( sorry. And Tengen isn't married to his three unbelievably hot wives here too so double sorry-

Hopefully though, you would still be able to enjoy!

Tengen almost can't believe it. There you stood, in a pillar's demon slayer uniform (nothing really changed except the buttons were gold now, but still-), your legs wrapped in bandages. He remembers that day two years ago. He saved a certain girl whose rank was Kanoe from a Lower Moon demon.

"[L/N] [Y/N]. I'll do my very best." you say with a grin. After the Pillar Meeting, Tengen comes up to you.

"Congratulations on being a pillar!" he exclaims with proud eyes. You crane your neck to look up at him, your eyes wide with surprise.

"Y-you remember me?" You ask in disbelief.

He smiles broadly with a wink. "I do."

"Really?! Someone like me?" you ask yourself, feeling giddy. "Wow..."

"You've come a long way. We may be of the same rank, but you're not of the same flamboyant level as I am."

You laugh. "It's nice to see you haven't changed one bit, Uzui-san."

That fateful day, when the Sound Hashira have saved you and finished fighting off that demon, he gave you a proud smile.

"You did a flamboyant job staying alive all this time."

And he let you decapitate the demon's head.

Ever since, you worked harder than ever. He was your inspiration these past 24 months of relentless training and experimenting, until you yourself was able to defeat a demon from the 12 Kizuki.

And here you are now. Called the Blood Pillar.

° ° °

After every Pillar Meeting, Tengen gets more and more disturbed by the sight of you.

Almost after every meeting, you would have new bandages wrapped around your legs. And that was just your legs. He's sure that there could be more under that uniform. While some of the old ones were replaced with scars. At first, he doesn't mind. He thought that you were new to your position as a pillar and have some wounds from your missions, but it's been such a long time now. Why do you always have these new wounds and scars?

Then he remembers. Blood Pillar. Now that he thinks about it, what the hell? Blood Pillar? Exactly from what Breath is that derived from? Does that explain all these new injuires you keep getting?

After the meeting, you see him march up to you, looking all serious. Honestly scared the heck out of you. Did you do something wrong? But you aren't really interacting with him lately, much to your disappointment.

"[L/N]." he crouches to your eye level, giving you an intense stare. "Are you okay?"

You blink. "H-huh? Why wouldn't I be...?"

He frowns. Oh no, is that the wrong response? He straightens up and grabs your wrist, pulling you away. You weren't able to react correctly and even say anything as you stared at his grip on your wrist. You're not sure what to feel about it, but you can feel your cheeks grow hot.

"Where are we going?"

"I just want to have a little chat."

~

"Oh!" you exclaim as you understood what was the deal earlier back at the Ubuyashiki Estate. You were in an empty field, sitting on the fresh grass of spring. Tengen asked all about your breath style and wounds. You were seriously admiring how confident he is to just ask that to you when he knew you weren't really close. You can't even ask Sanemi about his own scars and where he got them.

"Actually, my father was a very skilled doctor." you start as he listened to you intently. "He taught me how to handle medicines and how this certain tool should be used, and the like. After the day you saved me, I wanted to become more useful as a slayer at the same time be an unexpected enemy to the demons."

"You see, I'm a marechi. And I met a demon whose Blood Demon Art makes their own blood explode or burn. And it gave me the idea, and started to experiment on my own blood. It was a painful process, but it was worth it. After I became a pillar, I learned some tricks from Shinobu-san since I spend a lot of my time getting treated at the Butterfly Estate. I learned how to make poisons painful to scabbard but painless to humans and stocked it in the sheath of my sword. But it's really pretty useless unless my blood is mixed with the poison."

You finish. You stare up at the cloudless sky, adoring the pure blue color of it. Tengen just stares at you for a moment.

"So basically, you have to cut yourself for each form you make with your sword covered in poison..." he concludes ismn a mutter. Why would you make such a breath style? And isn't it too dangerous for your wounds to get exposed all the time or for too long? Plus, demons' favorite food is marechi. Then there's also the threat of blood loss.

This was all irritating him for some reason. He never realized how he deeply cares for you. Every time he sees you with yet again a new bandage, he can't help but feela tightness in his chest.

"[L/N]." he says, making you look at him with a hum. You were taken aback at the soft expression he gave you. "Tell me every time you have a mission."

"Why though?" you ask with a curious look.

He averts his gaze, feeling sheepish. It was a first for Tengen to feel like this. He's never shied away before. In frustration, he abrputly stands. "Just because." and he scratches his head. He walks away, leaving you alone on the field.

"U-Uzui-san...?" you wore such a dumbfounded expression. Was that an order?

° ° °

You sigh in relief. You've finally managed to go on a mission without Tengen on your tail.

These past few months, he's been 'accompanying' you on your missions and it's been annoying you lately. You don't even tell him when that you'll go on a mission. You just get surprised that he's already waiting by your house. He's also doing most of the fighting as well. He wouldn't let you draw your sword sometimes. Somehow, you were able to escape from him today.

Although in those times, you enjoy his company. He doesn't really talk much and seems like he'd rather listen to you. From stories to things Shinobu tells you, to even your problems. He was always there, listening. You've noticed that the way he smiles at you have changed. He always had that reassuring smile. A smile that would tell you "I'm here, always". It reminded you of how your father would occasionally treat your wounds after playing outside. But your father have passed, and no one else would be there for you anymore.

Until Tengen came.

Truthfully, you didn't mind being lonely for a while. Your pride as a demon slayer would allow you to sacrifice your own life to save others. You believed that you lived a contented life already. Nothing more is going to make you happy nor sad. It's okay for you to die protecting others.

Again, until Tengen came.

It's always because of him, these beliefs and thoughts keep changing. He changed you to become stronger, to feel secured and reassured around him, and that something was missing in your life. You weren't sure what it was, but you refuse to pass away without it in your life.

You stop walking. The sun was setting, shedding its final rays of light on the surface from the horizon. The wind have become eerily cold. The scent of human blood was strong, but a stronger smell was coating it. You cover your nose in reflex. What a sinister smell. Pompous and confidence was strongly flowing in this demon's blood.

A 12 Kizuki?

But this scent was more disturbing than the last two Kizukis that you faced from the last two years.

You rushed to the scene, following the scent as it grew stronger and stronger. Soon, you find a distorted white figure growing from what it seems like a vase. His back were lined with infant-like arms and was humming to himself until he felt your presence.

He turns to you, widening your eyes in horror. His face was even more distorted.

"My, I think I smell a marechi." He seems to smile, though you really can't tell. "Fufu, and a pillar?"

You unsheathe your sword and took a stance. You read the kanji on his eyes that were placed vertically on his face.

Upper Moon Five.

All you've encoutered so far were Lower Moon demons, so you expect that this battle will be tough.

"Say, would you like me to show you a piece I've recently finished?" he asks, his tone sounding conceited.

You grit your teeth. "I am not interested." you cut your arm with your blade, making sure the edge is fully coated in blood.

The demon bobs his head to the side. "Since you caught my attention, I'll ignore your rudeness just this once." he grins. "What is the point of slicing your own flesh? To provoke me?"

"You'll find out soon enough." You say before charging at him.

° ° °

Tengen was running as fast as he can, and the closer he gets, the louder he can hear your sword clanging. Although he's a shinobi, so his speed is quite enhanced, he fears that he's too late. It took him this much time to figure out where you were.

He may have realized this later than he should, but you were precious to him. You gave him a reason to be stronger - to live. He won't allow himself to be weak and die before you. You were now his top priority, then the people, then himself. If he can, he'll force you out of the demon slayer corps. Oh, but he can, he just won't. Other than your safety, your happiness was also top priority.

After all those times you've talked together, fought together, he starts to cherish every single moment he spends with you. And he can tell that, although undeservedly, it was him who drove you to be who you are today.

The Blood Pillar.

Just a few more hours, the sun will start to rise. He was finally getting close, until he hears silence. The sounds of clanging and clashing stopped. His heart was practically beating out of his chest in suspense. What happened?

~

You were breathing deep and hard from exhaustion. Your body was littered with wounds and blood. You've ripped off your uniform's torso, showing a blood-stained bandage wrapped around your breasts. Gashes made by the demon were slowing you down up to the point where you couldn't swing your sword anymore.

"How foolish." he starts. "Your Breath of Blood will kill you. I can just wait here as you die from blood loss, you know."

You smirk. You shouldn't be underestimated. You spent two years shaping and creating a body immune to such threats like that. You can go for another 10 hours or more, if limitations didn't exist, of course. You were only human. You may be weak for a pillar at the time, but you'll get stronger. You have to. You might lose this battle, but you refuse to die.

Win or lose, you will abstain yourself from passing out. You won't die. Not yet.

"But then the sun will rise soon, and I should have a feast. A feast fit for a fine artist such as myself."

He attacks you, you dodge barely. He was taken aback at the fact that you can still move. He keeos attacking, and you just kept dodging until you were finally worn out.

He takes notice as a sinister smile becomes visible on his features. Just when his attack was about to land a blow on you, you felt broad arms wrap around you as you were taken away.

"Didn't I tell you to always inform me of your missions?" You start to tear up. You see Tengen's irked and perturbed expression. He was able to snatch your haori and covers you with the clothing. As he was about to stand, you clutch unto him. He just smiles that reassuring smile. "I'll be back with the same flamboyance." he winks.

As he starts fighting in your stead, you watch him with anxiety bubbling in your chest. As you watch him, you found out what was missing. Even if it was just for a day, just for a few hours, what was missing in your life was Tengen. Now that he's come into your life, he can't come out. You need him. You can't die yet. You still want to spend your life with him. He doesn't have to feel the same way, as long as he's alive and well.

~

The demon cussed under his breath in frustration and was able to escape just before the sun's rays hit him. Tengen quickly ran to you to see if you're still breathing. Fortunately, you were alive as you gave him a smile.

"[Y/N]..." he whispers as he carries you. He starts walking. "...don't scare me like that."

All you could do was hum in response, your eyes closed and just fully giving in to his warmth.

"Don't be stubborn next time and tell me when you'll go on a mission. I can't breathe easy knowing that my girl is out there cutting herself to kill a demon."

You open your eyes in surprise. "'My girl'...?"

He smiles slightly. "Mhm. Whether you feel the same or not, you're my girl and no one else's right now. You're the most valuable to me in my life. And if someone steals you from me..."

He gives it a thought. "...he has to be way better than me in every way so I have to approve, 'kay?"

You giggle lightly and snuggled against him. You didn't need to say anything to tell him that you also feel the same way, as he can hear your heart beating solely for him.

Tengen watches your sleeping face. He felt truly blessed as something as precious as your heart was beating for him. His heart was beating for you as well.

As if blessing your new-found love, the sun's blinding rays followed both of you walking home, feeling safe and secured and valued with each other.

[bledsun]

lukayuk - stardew valley wiki

birthday: summer 2 lives in: cindersnap forest address: abandoned house the variq home family: mother, father, brother (eldest), brother (middle) friends: dwarf, junimos, krobus, evelyn, linus, pierre, alex(?) marriage: yes best gifts: spicy eel, fire quartz, complete breakfast, gold bar, sunflower, whale meat soup

schedule varies by season, varies by year. typically returns to father’s home island beginning of winter & returns in either spring, summer, or fall of that year. each year is different based on her father’s fishing schedule back on his home island. obsidian isle is a relatively small island nestled in the middle of the gem sea between the ferngill republic and the gotoro empire. although it is technically gotoro empire territory, the island itself has been a neutral ground for decades. it’s fishing and mining industries supplies both the gotoro empire and the ferngill repubic with much needed resources. each season, her schedule varies. sometimes, she picks up shifts at the bar. other times, the library/museum. sometimes even pierre’s store. most often, she can be found at the community center or the cindersnap forest near her home. she frequents the mines adventuring. on rare occasions, she may be found in the secret woods or witches swamp/hut. she is never seen at the beach or near bodies of water except during festivals/events (this may change after the eight heart event).

relationships she has a complicated relationship with her parents, who are fairly strict. she is pretty close with her brothers & often talks about missing them since they’ve moved out & moved on with their lives. she flirts with just about everyone. she has very few close friends. morris is her sworn enemy. she often gets in trouble with mayor lewis. pierre has a soft spot for her thanks to her anti-joja corp antics. she has an innate connection to magic and the supernatural, making herfriends with the junimos, dwarf, and krobus. she enjoys picking flowers to give to evelyn whenever she is in town as a thank you to looking after her for some time while she was younger and she often offers linus food she forages. verse dependent: timeline dependent, she and alex spend time growing up together when evelyn is her caretaker, her parents are very busy working and needing the support.

gifts- birthday

loved:  ❛ wow, this is a pretty great gift. thank you! ❜

liked:  ❛ a birthday gift? for me? thanks! ❜

neutral:  ❛ i’m surprised you remembered my birthday. ❜

disliked:  ❛ what a weird birthday gift. ❜

hated:  ❛ ...are you kidding? ❜

gifts

loved  ❛ for me? really? wow, thank you! ❜ spicy eel. fire quartz. complete breakfast. gold bar. sunflower. whale meat soup.

liked  ❛ oh, sweet. thanks! ❜ anything foraged. all flowers. all cooked food. all animal products. 

neutral  ❛ hmph. thanks. ❜ all fish. alcohol. shells. anything related to magic.

disliked  ❛ ha! seriously? ❜ seaweed. algae. white algae. seafoam pudding. monster items. void items.

hated:  ❛ this is a joke... ❜ anything bought at joja mart. joja corp products. trash. scraps.

movies & concessions

loved: natural wonders, it howls in the rain fries. ice cream sandwich. nachos. personal pizza. truffle popcorn. sour slimes. stardrop sorbet.

liked: the brave little sapling, journey of the prairie king cotton candy. hummus snack pack. kale smoothie. popcorn. star cookie.

neutral: wumbus, the zuzu city express apple slices. jasmine tea. jawbreaker. salmon burger. salted peanuts. rock candy.

disliked: the miracle at coldstar ranch  panzanella salad. chocolate popcorn. black licorice. cappuccino mousse cake.

hated: mysterium joja corn. joja cola.

heart events

two hearts: enter the cindersnap forest anytime during fall year 1.

four hearts: enter the community center anytime while she is there.

six hearts: enter pelican town between 11pm and 1am at the end of spring year 2.

eight hearts: enter the beach between 8am and 10am during summer year 3. luka is standing by the water. as you approach, she explains she has been afraid of the water since a terrible accident where she almost was swept out to sea as a child. she takes your hand, saying she wants to be brave and trusts you. you both slowly wade into the water.

ten hearts: enter the secret woods. when you enter the secret woods, you will see luka practicing her sword skills and chatting with the junimos. she is surprised, however says this is the perfect time to tell you her secret. she explains her connection to nature, keeping the balance, and the junimos. she states that she is grateful to find someone with a similar connection, you kiss under the stars, and fireflies sparkle around the screen.

group ten-heart event: luka does not participate in the group event.

fourteen hearts: exit the farmhouse between 5:30am and 7:30am on any day in winter. since its close to the holidays, luka will admit she has been working on your gift. she states she can’t wait until the holidays to give you your gift. luka takes you into her workshop space and gives you your gift: a small set of hand crafted clay figurines of whatever is listed as the farmer’s ‘favorite thing’.

note: if you choose to destroy the community center and replace it with the joja warehouse, there is no way to earn any of luka’s heart events. joja corporation is the enemy and if you choose joja corp over the community, it will not be possible to trigger any of her heart events in the future or even become her friend.

marriage once married, luka will move into the farmhouse. like other marriage candidates, she will add her own room to the right of the bedroom. she’ll also set up a small greenhouse workshop behind the farmhouse where she'll sometimes go to study magic and work with the juminos on improving the town, working on art projects, and protecting the wildlife. when she leaves the farm, its often to go to the community center. on rainy mornings and mornings when luka stays inside the farmhouse all day, she may offer you ginger ale. on rainy nights, she may offer you dinner: roots platter, chowder, autumn’s bounty, super meal, or fruit salad. on new years' eve (winter 28), she'll give you a bottle of wine.

quests

vandalize joja mart: luka will randomly request help with a ‘secret project’ by bringing her an egg (any size/quality) to the east side of pelican town between 11pm and 1am. if you walk into pelican town with the item in hand at that time, you will have a cutscene where she is egging jojamart. she will ask if you’d like to join. if you say yes, you will receive 3x item value and 1 friendship heart. if you say no, you will receive 50-100 friendship points and 1.5x item value.

art project: in winter of year 2, you will receive a letter from luka requesting 100 pieces of clay upon her return in summer of year 3. completing this quest will reward the farmer with 1000g and a handcrafted piece of jewelry.

[moon-stars01]

-Shimmer-

Mingyu x Reader

Author:spinebreaka

Summary: When he approaches you in the library the last thing you expected was to be tutoring the cute Gryffindor beater Kim Mingyu for the upcoming Defence Against The Dark Arts exam. As you help him with his worst subject you can’t help but enjoy your time together. And as the exam inches closer and closer you find yourself in for a surprise.

Pairing:Mingyu(Svt) x Reader

Gene:Harry Potter au,magic au,fluff,

Rating:General Audiences

Word Count:3226

-Shimmer-

“It’s not real, the ceiling. It’s just bewitched to look like the night sky.”

Breakfast was in full swing this morning, the excited chatter of the students with the delicious smells coming from the tables made for a cheerful morning despite the heavy rainfall outside. You never get tired of looking at the great halls ceiling. Ever since you started your school years at Hogwarts you were fascinated with the great halls enchantment, mimicking not only the sky outside but also the weather. Today for instance it was the sight of the morning sun breaking through the rain clouds. It was perfect Quidditch weather for the match later today. The commotion coming from each house table was almost deafening. It was the match that decided the winners of this year’s Quidditch cup and everybody was excited to see the Hufflepuff VS Gryffindor match. But with the excitement of the match also came the dread and anticipation for the Practical exam for all DADA students.

You were also giddy with anticipation for the upcoming match, while your initial loyalty lies with the Ravenclaw team, today you would be cheering for Gryffindor to win. The reason you would be sporting a red and gold banner sat two tables away from you, picking at his breakfast looking as though he wanted the ground to swallow him.

Kim Mingyu.

He was half of the pair that made up the beaters for the Gryffindor team and one of the best players the team had had in years, Hufflepuff were good, but so were Gryffindor. You had only recently started interacting with Mingyu outside of classes together. Yes you had quite a few classes with Mingyu over the last 6 years at Hogwarts, but it’s only in this semester you’ve really gotten to know him. He was the athletic over intellect type, preferring to be on the Quidditch pitch rather than the classroom and while he was quite an intelligent student, his mind flitted around like a snitch in certain classes, not enough to fail but enough to draw the attention of professors to his grades. It’s actually this reason your out of class interactions had started.

It had all started when he approached you in the library one afternoon.

________________________

You were browsing the astronomy section of the Library, needing a little extra help in this subject, it really wasn’t your strong point, you were more of a practical student, preferring potions and charms, DADA being the subject you excelled most in. You were just about to go check the books out when you heard someone clear their throat behind you, turning, you were surprised to see Mingyu, he was in your DADA and care of magical creatures classes earlier that day, but apart from classes together, the two of you had never really spoken to each other, so why was he approaching you now?

“Um, Y/N right?” His hair was windswept and damp looking, his tie was missing and his shirt was un-tucked.

“Umm yes? Mingyu from Gryffindor right?”

“Right… Sorry I look like a mess, I came straight from Quidditch practice to find you, your friend told me you’d be here, I was wondering if you could help me” He runs his hand through his sweaty hair as he asks you, attempting to tidy himself up.

“Ohhh, so uh, what is it you wanted to ask that you needed to hunt me down?” you laughed adjusting the books in your hands “I dont think I’ve ever seen you in the Library before.“

He returns your laughter and places his hands in his pockets "yeah, I’m not one for that stuffy book smell” his nose crinkles slightly “Sooo, I know you’re one of the better DADA students in our year… I’m a disaster at this class, my grades have slipped so much Mcgonagall has had to give me a chat,” He sighs as he walks to the table closest to you both, you followed him and set your books down. “I really need to get my grades back up to passable, if not, Mcgonagall has said I might have to withdraw from the Quidditch team…”

Now that surprised you. “Wow she would really do that? She’s always had a competitive streak when it comes to the Quidditch cup… You’d think she would want her team filled with the best players.." You sat pondering his words as he smiled dishearteningly. "So, you need help?”

His eyes brightened at the mention of helping him, his shoulders broadened slightly and his lips parted “Yeah, I know you’re a wiz at this defence against the dark arts stuff, and we have that practical test after Christmas, I need to pass so badly” he sighs “Quidditch is my life you know? It’s all I ever wanted to do since I was young, and the thought of being kicked off the team because I’m crap at defensive spells…” he rubs his face with his hands in irritation.

You couldn’t help but feel for him, he was indeed a great Quidditch player, he tried out as soon as he could and has been a solid team member for Gryffindor since your second year, and yes, you had noticed his… lacking skills in DADA, but you never thought he would be given an ultimatum of pass or get kicked off the team. His grades must have dropped drastically for Mcgonagall to risk losing a good player from the team.

“I don’t mind helping you if you want me too?” You offered and could have sworn you saw his eyes water slightly. You stood from the table, going to gather your books as he shoots up, grabbing them for you, his voice raises as he goes to thank you.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you have no idea how grateful I would be! I promise you won’t regret this! You’re doing me such a huge favour!”

________________________

It had been 4 months since you agreed to help Mingyu out with his DADA lessons, and you both have developed something of a friendship within a tutorship. The Saturdays you had free were spent going over the subject criteria from each lesson, both written and practical. On the written stuff, Mingyu had been doing really well, meeting you in the library and handing in his essays on time, but then there was the practical stuff….

To say Mingyu was bad was an understatement.

He really wasn’t kidding when he said he was crap at this, you don’t even think it’s because he prioritises Quidditch. He’s just, REALLY bad.

The Practical exam had gotten closer and closer, now being only a month away, the defensive charm that was to be performed had been announced to the class. The goal was to conjure a full or shield form of the patronus charm. You had been working with Mingyu every weekend and free time you had for months, but to his annoyance, he just wasn’t getting the hang of it. The stress of getting nowhere had started to take its toll on his morale, so much so that recently he’s started rain checking, or straight up dodging the tutoring sessions. You felt for him, you really did, but it irked you slightly that you’re using your personal time to help him when you’ve got your own subjects to study for, Astronomy was kicking your ass right now, and he’s ditching? Not if you had anything to say about it.

Making your way to the Quidditch pitch, you knew he would be there, it’s his favourite hangout spot besides from the Gryffindor common room, this was the only place you can actually go and find him. His arms were over his face, shielding from the light of the midday sun. You approach the bench and your sharp tone startles him slightly.

“You know, if you don’t want me to tutor you anymore you just have to say.” You cross your arms looking down on him, your irritation clear on your face.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I ditched, I ju-”

“For the 4th time in a row, You know you’re not the only one with subjects to study for right?” He looks at you with guilty eyes as you continue on ranting to him. “ I get it, you’re stressed out about the exam, but getting nowhere, and ditching, is still gonna get you nowhere.”

you push his legs off the bench and sit beside him, Mingyu sitting up and adjusting himself as he looks down at the floor. He sighs and kicks the sand, turning his eyes to you.

“…I am sorry Y/N, I know you’re taking time out or your own study time to help me, believe me I’m grateful… I just get so stressed out that I’m getting nowhere with producing the patronus.”

“You’re not getting nowhere though, Mingyu, look how far you’ve come in 4 months, your grades are up, your essays are getting in on time, and you’re getting better at practical charms, you can’t say you’re getting nowhere.”

“But I am, I’m no closer to casting the charm than I was months ago."

"Well,” you took a breath, thinking of possibilities “maybe it’s your approach to it, you still haven’t told me the memory you are focusing on, is it a powerful happy one?"

He looked up from the ground, a confused look about his face "Beating Slytherin in the last match.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s the problem, you need a memory that fills you with so much happiness and emotion… I don’t think beating Slytherin really classes as the right memory here.” You chuckle a little, but Mingyu looks exasperated.

“Then what kind of memory?”

“What about your parents?” You notice Mingyus face falter slightly.

Mingyu’s lips twist a little, his eyes downcast as his voice is lower than usual, “I, I don’t have parents, they uh, they died when I was younger, I live with my Grandmother."

There was a moment of silence that followed his response. Neither of you knew what to say next. Looking at him, you see his shoulders shake slightly, and you reach for his hand, his cold knuckles were a drastic change to your warm palms. He looks up, meeting your gaze.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t know, but thank you for telling me.”

Mingyu grasps your hand in his, a silent response to you, and after a few moments, he finally speaks.

“Your patronus is a cat, right?”

“Yeah."

"How is it supposed to feel, when you cast the patronus?”

“Well I’ve read it’s different for everyone, but for me, it’s kind of like a shimmery feeling?” His eyebrows quirk “Like, a feeling of being washed over by something warm.”

“Like a blanket?” He smiles.

“I was thinking more like when you step outside into a warm day” His comment made you let out a belt of laughter, to which he joins in.

After your little laughing session, the two of you chatted about anything and everything, you realised you practically knew nothing about each other. You completely overlooked the feast, instead the two of you filled each other in about your childhoods, your friends,and any other topic you could think of talking about. It was only when rain started to fall that the two of you decide to head back inside, curfew creeping closer and closer, you would have to leave eventually. You and Mingyu don’t manage to outrun the downpour, getting quite soaked on your way inside, but this just makes the both of you laugh even more than earlier.

He shakes his head, sending out droplets hitting you in your face in the process, to which you land a whack on his shoulder, the laughter dies down slightly, reduced to slight chuckles as the two of you look at each other.

There’s a moment, a moment of eyes locking that you both stop the chuckles, and Mingyu reaches for your face, tucking a wiping your wet hair from your face. Neither of you move. There’s silence, but you both look at each other again, and you can’t help but erupt into giggles again as he shakes his head again, even more droplets of rain hit your face.

The two of you finally make your way to the second staircase, you heading up another level, him continuing down the corridor. Both of you had a renewed tutoring plan. Mingyu seemed to have a fire lit under his butt, even more determined to ace this test, and he has a memory in mind to focus on, he just hopes it’s the right choice.

________________________

So here you sat at the Ravenclaw table, your breakfast finished, you drank some tea trying to calm your nerves, exams always made you nervous. But looking at the Gryffindor table, you knew you didn’t have the worst case of pre-exam jitters out there, that honour goes to Mr Kim Mingyu himself. In the last month you and Mingyu had been spending every free moment of your time helping him cast the patronus charm. You don’t know what happened to him, but by some miracle, he was able to produce a shield form! You begged him to tell you what his new memory was, but whatever it was, he was keeping it to himself. But if it helped him focus it more by keeping it secret you wouldn’t pry, this was the best progress he had made in the whole of the tutoring sessions. You were so proud of him. In the past month he had been so dedicated to his exam prep, you even heard him having to ditch Quidditch practice once or twice, this was serious for him.

But for all his dedication and prep, right now he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. You knew he didn’t do well in exams either, but for him this exam was more important than anything else.

He looked up and caught your eyes, to which you flashed him a reassuring smile, to he replied with the hand motion of his head exploding. The two of you shared a giggle across the room as you finished breakfast before heading to the DADA classroom.

The class was all lined up in house order: Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and finally Gryffindor. Waiting for each student to turn, you see plenty of people fail, others producing shield form patronus charms, some even full bodied, you see various different animals, horses, ferrets, owls, dogs for example. Your house’s turn came quickly and your turn came even quicker, your patronus forming into a cat pretty quickly and you make your way to the other end of the classroom to wait and watch for the other students. After the rest of your house and the Hufflepuff students, it’s finally Mingyu’s turn.

He steps forward slowly, you can see his breathing increase and he bites his bottom lip slightly, the professor tells him to cast when he’s ready. You catch his eyes as he readies his wand, and you show him thumbs up as you smile at him, reassuring him that he’s got this in the bag. He exhales and closes his eyes, focusing himself on his memory, and when he opens his eyes he readies his wand and chants.

“Expecto Patronum!”

There’s a moment, a long, dragged out moment of nothing, and then, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, his wand shimmers in white light, and there it is.He casts a full bodied patronus. A cat patronus. Your surprised and join the other Gryffindor students cheering for him as he looks at his Patronus in awe.

Mingyu can’t believe his eyes. He did it. He cast a Patronus charm, a full bodied patronus! His face erupts with a wide grin as he makes his way to the other students, the Gryffindors crowding him and rejoicing their Quidditch team will not be down a player no doubt. Mingyu looks at you and you can’t help but laugh and smile like a giddy fool about his achievement.

The other students finish their practicals and the professor dismisses everyone for free. As the class files out of the classroom in relief, Mingyu envelops you in a tight hug, you feel the air leave your lungs as he practically screams in your ear.

“Y/N!!!! I did it!! You are my literal life saver.” You wheeze a little for emphasis and he lets you go, gaining your breath back you laugh and join him in the merriment.

“YOU did it! I’m so proud of you, all the practice paid off I told you it would!!”

Mingyus’ teammates crowded him and congratulated him. The seeker hoshi messed his hair as the other half of the Gryffindor beaters, Seungcheol offered a fist bump. Jeonghan looked between the two and couldn’t help but laugh a little as his eyes lit up mischievously.

“sooo, all this time you’ve been getting help from Y/N eyyyy"

Mingyu laughed as he returned the fist hump

"Yeah, she is the reason I’m staying on the team, I wouldn’t have even been able to cast a shield if not for her helping me!”

You couldn’t help but blush a little at his words, which Jeonghan picked up on, setting his eyes on Mingyu again as he spoke.

“ So you both have cat forms for your Patronus animal huh, you know I read a person’s patronus form can be influenced by someone else, if the caster feels deeply for the other person. Isn’t that funny, It’s almost as if you love Y/N, how peculiar.”

You stand still for a second, so does Mingyu , taking in Jeonghan’s words, Love? Surely not, You only helped him with the charm, that doesn’t mean he’s madly in love with you… right…

Mingyu laughs nervously and punches Jeonghan’s shoulder while the captain of the Gryffindor team, Seungcheol set to work immediately, bringing focus onto the upcoming game this afternoon, excusing themselves from you to get ready to meet up with the other team mates. Mingyu lagged behind, turning to you, an awkward silence washing over the both of you,

“So uhh, Y/N, I can’t say enough how grateful I am” he scratches his head a little.

“Pshh, you cast the charm, I just gave you a little nudge… I have to ask though, I’m curious ” He looked at you “ what was your memory? Did you end up changing it?”

Mingyu’s eyes went to the floor for a second, and then back to yours, his hands went into his robe pockets, “ Yeah, and no… I mean I did change it, last minute.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was getting ready to cast the charm, when I thought back to that afternoon, on the Quidditch pitch… I um,”

You wait patiently for him to finish his sentence, a hot feeling reaching your cheeks.

“I thought about when we came back inside from the rain, when I moved your hair out of your face, I uh” He chuckles to himself “ I thought about you.”

Oh. Wow.

You weren’t expecting that…

“You were thinking of me?”

“Yeah, Jeonghan wasn’t exactly wrong back there…”

________________________

“The form of a Patronus may change during the course of a witch or wizard’s life. Instances have been known of the form of the Patronus transforming due to bereavement,falling in love or profound shifts in a person’s character

[boywivlove]

Shimmers |

Pairing | Jeon Jungkook x reader 

Genre | Harry Potter au | Friends to Lovers | Fluff

Summary | When he approaches you in the library the last thing you expected was to be tutoring the cute Gryffindor beater Jeon Jungkook for the upcoming  Defence Against The Dark Arts exam. As you help him with his worst subject you can’t help but enjoy your time together. And as the exam inches closer and closer you find yourself in for a surprise.

Authors note | Eeeeeeee I can finally post this! This is my coffeehouse workshop gift for @widowkooks Surprise its me, your anon writer!!! I really hope you like what I’ve written. I tried to fit in the info I got from you uwu

“It’s not real, the ceiling. It’s just bewitched to look like the night sky.”

Breakfast was in full swing this morning, the excited chatter of the students with the delicious smells coming from the tables made for a cheerful morning despite the heavy rainfall outside. You never get tired of looking at the great halls ceiling. Ever since you started your school years at Hogwarts you were fascinated with the great halls enchantment, mimicking not only the sky outside but also the weather. Today for instance it was the sight of the morning sun breaking through the rain clouds. It was perfect Quidditch weather for the match later today. The commotion coming from each house table was almost deafening. It was the match that decided the winners of this year’s Quidditch cup and everybody was excited to see the Hufflepuff VS Gryffindor match. But with the excitement of the match also came the dread and anticipation for the Practical exam for all DADA students.

You were also giddy with anticipation for the upcoming match, while your initial loyalty lies with the Ravenclaw team, today you would be cheering for Gryffindor to win. The reason you would be sporting a red and gold banner sat two tables away from you, picking at his breakfast looking as though he wanted the ground to swallow him.

Jeon Jungkook.

He was half of the pair that made up the beaters for the Gryffindor team and one of the best players the team had had in years, Hufflepuff were good, but so were Gryffindor. You had only recently started interacting with Jungkook outside of classes together. Yes you had quite a few classes with Jungkook over the last 6 years at Hogwarts, but it’s only in this semester you’ve really gotten to know him. He was the athletic over intellect type, preferring to be on the Quidditch pitch rather than the classroom and while he was  quite an intelligent student, his mind flitted around like a snitch in certain classes, not enough to fail but enough to draw the attention of professors to his grades. It’s actually this reason your out of class interactions had started.

It had all started when he approached you in the library one afternoon.

You were browsing the astronomy section of the Library, needing a little extra help in this subject, it really wasn’t your strong point, you were more of a practical student, preferring potions and charms, DADA being the subject you exceledl most in. You were just about to go check the books out when you heard someone clear their throat behind you, turning, you were surprised to see Jungkook, he was in your DADA and care of magical creatures classes earlier that day, but apart from classes together, the two of you had never really spoken to each other, so why was he approaching you now?

“Um, Y/N right?” His hair was windswept and damp looking, his tie was missing and his shirt was untucked. 

“Umm yes? Jungkook from Gryffindor right?”

“Right… Sorry I look like a mess, I came straight from Quidditch practice to find you, your friend told me you’d be here, I was wondering if you could help me” He runs his hand through his sweaty hair as he asks you, attempting to tidy himself up.

“Ohhh, so uh, what is it you wanted to ask that you needed to hunt me down?” you laughed adjusting the books in your hands “I dont think I’ve ever seen you in the Library before." 

He returns your laughter and places his hands in his pockets "yeah, I’m not one for that stuffy book smell” his nose crinkles slightly “Sooo, I know you’re one of the better DADA students in our year… I’m a disaster at this class, my grades have slipped so much Mcgonagall has had to give me a chat,” He sighs as he walks to the table closest to you both, you followed him and set your books down. “I really need to get my grades back up to passable, if not, Mcgonagall has said I might have to withdraw from the Quidditch team…”

Now that surprised you. “Wow she would really do that? She’s always had a competitive streak when it comes to the Quidditch cup… You’d think she would want her team filled with the best players.."  You sat pondering his words as he smiled dishearteningly. "So, you need help?”

His eyes brightened at the mention of helping him, his shoulders broadened slightly and his lips parted “Yeah, I know you’re a wiz at this defence against the dark arts stuff, and we have that practical test after christmas, I need to pass so badly” he sighs “Quidditch is my life you know? It’s all I ever wanted to do since I was young, and the thought of being kicked off the team because I’m crap at defensive spells…” he rubs his face with his hands in irritation.

You couldn’t help but feel for him, he was indeed a great Quidditch player, he tried out as soon as he could and has been a solid team member for Gryffindor since your second year, and yes, you had noticed his… lacking skills in DADA, but you never thought he would be given an ultimatum of pass or get kicked off the team. His grades must have dropped drastically for Mcgonagall to risk losing a good player from the team.

“I don’t mind helping you if you want me too?” You offered and could have sworn you saw his eyes water slightly. You stood from the table, going to gather your books as he shoots up, grabbing them for you, his voice raises as he goes to thank you.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you have no idea how grateful I would be! I promise you won’t regret this! You’re doing me such a huge favour!”

It had been 4 months since you agreed to help Jungkook out with his DADA lessons, and you both have developed something of a friendship within a tutorship. The Saturdays you had free were spent going over the subject criteria from each lesson, both written and practical. On the written stuff, Jungkook had been doing really well, meeting you in the library and handing in his essays on time, but then there was the practical stuff….

To say Jungkook was bad was an understatement.

He really wasn’t kidding when he said he was crap at this, you don’t even think it’s because he prioritises Quidditch. He’s just, REALLY bad.

The Practical exam had gotten closer and closer, now being only a month away, the defensive charm that was to be performed had been announced to the class. The goal was to conjure a full or shield form of the patronus charm. You had been working with Jungkook every weekend and free time you had for months, but to his annoyance, he just wasn’t getting the hang of it. The stress of getting nowhere had started to take its toll on his morale, so much so that recently he’s started rain checking, or straight up dodging the tutoring sessions. You felt for him, you really did, but it irked you slightly that you’re using your personal time to help him when you’ve got your own subjects to study for, Astronomy was kicking your ass right now, and he’s ditching? Not if you had anything to say about it.

Making your way to the Quidditch pitch, you knew he would be there, it’s his favourite hangout spot besides from the Gryffindor common room, this was the only place you can actually go and find him. His arms were over his face, shielding from the light of the midday sun. You approach the bench and your sharp tone startles him slightly.

“You know, if you don’t want me to tutor you anymore you just have to say.” You cross your arms looking down on him, your irritation clear on your face.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I ditched, I ju-”

“For the 4th time in a row, You know you’re not the only one with subjects to study for right?” He looks at you with guilty eyes as you continue on ranting to him. “ I get it, you’re stressed out about the exam, but getting nowhere, and ditching, is still gonna get you nowhere.”

you push his legs off the bench and sit beside him, Jungkook sitting up and adjusting himself as he looks down at the floor. He sighs and kicks the sand, turning his eyes to you.

“…I am sorry Y/N, I know you’re taking time out or your own study time to help me, believe me I’m grateful… I just get so stressed out that I’m getting nowhere with producing the patronus.”

“You’re not getting nowhere though, JK, look how far you’ve come in 4 months, your grades are up, your essays are getting in on time, and you’re getting better at practical charms, you can’t say you’re getting nowhere.”

“But I am, I’m no closer to casting the charm than I was months ago." 

"Well,” you took a breath, thinking of possibilities “maybe it’s your approach to it, you still haven’t told me the memory you are focusing on, is it a powerful happy one?" 

He looked up from the ground, a confused look about his face "Beating Slytherin in the last match.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s the problem, you need a memory that fills you with so much happiness and emotion… I don’t think beating Slytherin really classes as the right memory here.” You chuckle a little, but Jungkook looks exasperated.

“Then what kind of memory?”

“What about your parents?” You notice Jungkooks face falter slightly.

Jungkook’s lips twist a little, his eyes downcast as his voice is lower than usual, “I, I don’t have parents, they uh, they died when I was younger, I live with my Grandmother." 

There was a moment of silence that followed his response. Neither of you knew what to say next. Looking at him, you see his shoulders shake slightly, and you reach for his hand, his cold knuckles were a drastic change to your warm palms. He looks up, meeting your gaze. 

"I’m sorry, I didn’t know, but thank you for telling me.”

Jungkook grasps your hand in his, a silent response to you, and after a few moments, he finally speaks.

“Your patronus is a cat, right?”

“Yeah." 

"How is it supposed to feel, when you cast the patronus?”

“Well I’ve read it’s different for everyone, but for me, it’s kind of like a shimmery feeling?” His eyebrows quirk “Like, a feeling of being washed over by something warm.”

“Like a blanket?” He smiles.

“I was thinking more like when you  step outside into a warm day” His comment made you let out a belt of laughter, to which he joins in. 

After your little laughing session, the two of you chatted about anything and everything, you realised you practically knew nothing about each other. You completely overlooked the feast, instead the two of you filled each other in about your childhoods, your friends,and any other topic you could think of talking about. It was only when rain started to fall that the two of you decide to head back inside, curfew creeping closer and closer, you would have to leave eventually. You and Jungkook don’t manage to outrun the downpour, getting quite soaked on your way inside, but this just makes the both of you laugh even more than earlier.

He shakes his head, sending out droplets hitting you in your face in the process, to which you land a whack on his shoulder, the laughter dies down slightly, reduced to slight chuckles as the two of you look at each other. 

There’s a moment, a moment of eyes locking that you both stop the chuckles, and Jungkook reaches for your face, tucking a wiping your wet hair from your face. Neither of you move. There’s silence, but you both look at each other again, and you can’t help but erupt into giggles again as he shakes his head again, even more droplets of rain hit your face.

The two of you finally make your way to the second staircase, you heading up another level, him continuing down the corridor.  Both of you had a renewed tutoring plan. Jungkook seemed to have a fire lit under his butt, even more determined to ace this test, and he has a memory in mind to focus on, he just hopes it’s the right choice.

So here you sat at the Ravenclaw table, your breakfast finished, you drank some tea trying to calm your nerves, exams always made you nervous. But looking at the Gryffindor table, you knew you didn’t have the worst case of pre-exam jitters out there, that honour goes to Mr Jeon Jungkook himself. In the last month you and Jungkook had been spending every free moment of your time helping him cast the patronus charm. You don’t know what happened to him, but by some miracle, he was able to produce a shield form! You begged him to tell you what his new memory was, but whatever it was, he was keeping it to himself. But if it helped him focus it more by keeping it secret you wouldn’t pry, this was the best progress he had made in the whole of the tutoring sessions. You were so proud of him. In the past month he had been so dedicated to his exam prep, you even heard him having to ditch Quidditch practice once or twice, this was serious for him.

But for all his dedication and prep, right now he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. You knew he didn’t do well in exams either, but for him this exam was more important than anything else.

He looked up and caught your eyes, to which you flashed him a reassuring smile, to he replied with the hand motion of his head exploding. The two of you shared a giggle across the room as you finished breakfast before heading to the DADA classroom.

The class was all lined up in house order: Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and finally Gryffindor. Waiting for each student to turn, you see plenty of people fail, others producing shield form patronus charms, some even full bodied, you see various different animals, horses, ferrets, owls, dogs for example. Your house’s turn came quickly and your turn came even quicker, your patronus forming into a cat pretty quickly and you make your way to the other end of the classroom to wait and watch for the other students. After the rest of your house and the Hufflepuff students, it’s finally Jungkook’s turn. 

He steps forward slowly, you can see his breathing increase and he bites his bottom lip slightly, the professor tells him to cast when he’s ready. You catch his eyes as he readies his wand, and you show him thumbs up as you smile at him, reassuring him that he’s got this in the bag. He exhales and closes his eyes, focusing himself on his memory, and when he opens his eyes he readies his wand and chants.

“Expecto Patronum!”

There’s a moment, a long, dragged out moment of nothing, and then, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, his wand shimmers in white light, and there it is.He casts a full bodied patronus. A cat patronus. Your surprised and join the other Gryffindor students cheering for him as he looks at his Patronus in awe.

Jungkook can’t believe his eyes. He did it. He cast a Patronus charm, a full bodied patronus! His face erupts with a wide grin as he makes his way to the other students, the Gryffindors crowding him and rejoicing their Quidditch team will not be down a player no doubt. Jungkook looks at you and you can’t help but laugh and smile like a giddy fool about his achievement. 

The other students finish their practicals and the professor dismisses everyone for free. As the class files out of the classroom in relief, Jungkook envelops you in a tight hug, you feel the air leave your lungs as he practically screams in your ear.

“Y/N!!!! I did it!! You are my literal life saver.” You wheeze a little for emphasis and he lets you go, gaining your breath back you laugh and join him in the merriment. 

“YOU did it! I’m so proud of you, all the practice paid off I told you it would!!”

Jungkooks’ teammates crowded him and congratulated him. The seeker Hoseok messed his hair as the other half of the Gryffindor beaters, Jimin offered a fist bump. Jimin couldn’t help but laugh a little as his eyes lit up mischievously.

“sooo, all this time you’ve been getting help from Y/N eyyyy" 

Jungkook laughed as he returned the fist hump 

"Yeah, she is the reason I’m staying on the team, I wouldn’t have even been able to cast a shield if not for her helping me!”

You couldn’t help but blush a little at his words, which Jimin picked up on, setting his eyes on Jungkook again as he spoke.

“ So you both have cat forms for your Patronus animal huh, you know I read a person’s patronus form can be influenced by someone else, if the caster feels deeply for the other person. Isn’t that funny, It’s almost as if you love Y/N, how peculiar.”

You stand still for a second, so does Jungkook, taking in Jimin’s words, Love? Surely not, You only helped him with the charm, that doesn’t mean he’s madly in love with you… right…

Jungkook laughs nervously and punches Jimin’s shoulder while the captain of the Gryffindor team, Namjoon set to work immediately, bringing focus onto the upcoming game this afternoon, excusing themselves from you to get ready to meet up with the other team mates. Jungkook lagged behind, turning to you, an awkward silence washing over the both of you,

“So uhh, Y/N, I can’t say enough how grateful I am” he scratches his head a little.

“Pshh, you cast the charm, I just gave you a little nudge… I have to ask though, I’m curious ” He looked at you “ what was your memory? Did you end up changing it?”

Jungkook’s eyes went to the floor for a second, and then back to yours, his hands went into his robe pockets, “ Yeah, and no… I mean I did change it, last minute.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was getting ready to cast the charm, when I thought back to that afternoon, on the Quidditch pitch… I um,”

You wait patiently for him to finish his sentence, a hot feeling reaching your cheeks.

“I thought about when we came back inside from the rain, when I moved your hair out of your face, I uh” He chuckles to himself “ I thought about you.”

Oh. Wow.

You weren’t expecting that… 

“You were thinking of me?”

“Yeah, Jimin wasn’t exactly wrong back there…”

 ———————————————————————————-

“The form of a Patronus may change during the course of a witch or wizard’s life. Instances have been known of the form of the Patronus transforming due to bereavement,falling in love or profound shifts in a person’s character”

[zelskzerker]

Mangadex went down so I read alot 5/7

Let’s CONTINUE reviewing isekai and related stuff.

Youjo to Scoop to Maganou

Chapters 1-13

THUMBS UP. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC is just a normal salaryman dude who has Evil Eye. He doesn’t start out OP in this. He starts off like a normal dude. Practical, yet kind. Not an idiot and not omniscient. An easily relatable adult. But the theming of this manga is spot on making it so that what happens in his isekai ,i.e. him reaching his breaking point and just GLARING WITH CURSE ENERGY explains him as a character and foreshadows actions he takes later. Also of note is the fluffy companion, Lourie. Absolutely adorable princess knight she is. Wanna see her succeed in a similar way to Fran. Except Lourie has way more delusions of grandeur and its funny. Final thing, MC fighting with kicks is pretty based. Art is great.

Koko wa Ore ni Makasete Saki ni Ike to Itte kara 10-nen ga Tattara Densetsu ni Natteita

Chapters 1-19

A reincarnation(kinda) style manga featuring aliens. Both ayylmao and cthulu tiers. Typical of them, they have great art and fights. The MC of this one specifically has a speciality magic that is cool to see. Well written it that it loops back to answer questions and provide backstories at times as well. Gotta like Luck’s pluck. THUMBS UP.

Eiyuu-ou, Bu wo Kiwameru tame Tenseisu

Chapters 1-13

[Insert reincarnation startup here] but this time its a genderbent battle maniac. What more can I say? THUMBS UP. Real nice art.

Saijaku Tamer wa Gomi Hiroi no Tabi o Hajimemashita.

Chapters 1-7

A beuatifully drawn little manga that straddles cute and sad. A little girl is run out of her village due to having a weak skill and ultimately she has to run away from the place that wants her dead. She has to live in the forest and rummage through garbage, but eventually she finds a monster she can tame. THUMBS UP. Feels good for a weak little girl just trying to survive in the world. Also its an isekai but that isn’t really important.

Tensei Kyuuketsuki-san wa Ohirune ga Shitai

Chapters 1-30

THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.  [Insert isekai startup here] but this time its a genderbent vampire. It is also kinda a slice of life adventure. Argento Vampir, the MC, just wants to find a place to sleep. Although plot happens, it can be a bit hard to comprehend in the latters chapters minus money dungeon, and the pacing can feel all over the place. But it is still a nice ride if you accept it as a slice of life lackidasical journey rather than an adventure towards a goal. Also adorable yuri throughout.

Boukenka ni Narou!: Skill Board de Dungeon Kouryaku

Chapters 1-21

This is an odd manga. First off, its a reverse isekai aka dungeons started appearing in the human world and caused a semi-apocalypse. So now salarymen go risk their lives in dungeons. MC gets the power to... do skill points? Whatever. The more important part about the MC is how insane he is. In a cute way. First of all he cannot be recognized as an entity normally. His prescence is just that low. And of course, as an aspiring hero, this hurts. BUT he can be recognized whenever he wears this creepy possibly a scam possibly not wooden mask. ONTOP OF THAT he is incredibly powerful for his means and talented, but is often faced with ridiculous tasks or surrounded by such amazing people that he doesn’t recognize his own skill. Always kinda funny to see character who cannot comprehend their own power and always undersell themselves. THUMBS UP. For just how weird the setting is and lovable the MC is. 

Maougun Saikyou no Majutsushi wa Ningen datta

Chapters 1-18

This one is... tiring. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time its a demon general who is actually a human. And also the Demon Lord is also an isekai person who is roleplaying oda nobunaga. This manga is almost there and has interesting parts, but ultimately its not enough for me. Not interesting enough war machinisms for a war story, not interesting enough mystery for an isekai, and not interesting enough themes or characters for a story. THUMBS DOWN. Seen it all done better by other stuff on this list.

Isekai Meikyuu no Saishinbu o Mezasou

Chapters 1-19

This manga is surprisingly good in two elements. First is the character relationships. The relation between jaded isekai MC Sieg and the crossdressing adventurer Dia is wholesomely and slowly built up and that makes the second element, the boss battle, even better. The boss that is fought is a truly amazingly drawn fight. From what is revealed about the world, about Sig and Dia’s powers, and even just how the boss exists and is drawn is truly superb. Worth reading just for that fight. THUMBS UP. And then after that fight setting up a whole new dimension to Sig/Dia character dynamics going forward makes me want more.

  6-sai no Kenja wa Hikage no Michi wo Ayumitai

Chapters 1-10

Wow. They fucked up a shota [insert reincarnation startup here] story. And the reason why is due to lack of theming. The great reincarnation mangas put their foot down about theming, why the character reincarnated and what their goals or plans are in an aged world. This one has none of that. MC reincarnated just because they wanted an easy life, but instantly messed that up and are right back on the same path as their previous life. Also incredibly weak world building and setting make it VERY underwhelming if compared to any other reincarnation story. THUMBS DOWN. 

Potion-danomi de Ikinobimasu!

Chapters 1-33

This one made a lot more sense once I realized that the author pretty much made their own subgenre of “powerful girl in isekai that has ridiculous crazy godtier unstoppable overpowered skill and is also super smart and scheming their way out of any situation”. Because that happens all the time in this one. Don’t expect the MC to actually make any notable progress towards her main goal though. Despite all her smarts, her own kinda evil nature, constant scheming, and known overpowered abilities keep setting her back 20 steps for every 20 she leaps forward. Fun if not repetitive a bit. THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

Berserk of Gluttony

Chapters 1-35

This is kinda similar to Danmachi in that its in a videogame-esque world with quantifiable levels, is not an isekai, has a specific well explored mythos(Greek gods/gods in general for danmachi, seven deadly sins for Berserk of Gluttony), and most importantly ITS GOOD. The female lead in this is a driven and good person that is never a damsel in distress, yet the MC still supports her from the shadows. The other sins are goofy, tragic, and mysterious. The holy trifecta of admirable characters. Typical of seven deadly sins stories, the MC has to fight of urges, and that the fact that it is tied into the level system really makes the story feel modern in a certain way. With the advent of isekai and more video-game esque worlds, it is a happy marriage of modern and classical concepts. THUMBS UP. 

Henkyougurashi no Maou, Tensei shite Saikyou no Majutsushi ni Naru

Chapters 1-9

THUMBS UP. Gotta love the reincarnation stories. Especially since this one starts with the tale of an immortal vampire and how that kindly demon lord had to be killed by the people he protected and loved. Heartbreaking to see all the conspiracies laid against Nosferatu for his mere existence. And yet there isn’t a bit of ill intent or vengeance in him. Good art, well paced, and just generally has a good air about it that is a bit hard to describe.

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[rokutouxei]

you are still the sun that shines for me

part 8 of atelier heart

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark theo van gogh/mc | G | 2793 | [ao3 in bio]

Life couldn’t get any better. You enjoy what you do here, spending your life without regrets with the person you love the most. That is, until you meet her. The woman who still loves Theo.

CHAPTER 4

You and Theo rarely work Sundays. It’s a rule—practicing work-life balance is important, the both of you say. Sundays are for taking King out for a walk or joining Vincent out for a little painting session in the flower fields.

Today, Theo asks you if you could sleep in a little longer.

By “sleep in” he means not get up at 7:00 am, which is about the time Sebastian asks for your help in the kitchen. This is a luxury that neither of you have afforded in some time—mostly because Theo is a workaholic, but also partially because you’ve gotten so used to the rhythm of life in the mansion—so this occurrence is special. He holds you by the wrist when you’ve gotten up and asks you to stay in bed.

You do.

Let yourself get tucked into his still sleep-warm arms, even if your mind is elsewhere. Last week’s little chat in the café had broken down the wall between the both of you, but you were still standing outside the boundary of it, wondering if it is now right to enter. Maybe, you think, maybe it is okay to sleep in, just a little longer, to delay what is… inevitable, today that you’ve decided to talk to Theo about it.

About his little Vincent.

You take a deep breath that comes out so shakily, you know Theo can notice it with your proximity. But there hasn’t been any hiding about all of this from the beginning, anyway, just the illusion of it. You know you are transparent to him the same way he is transparent to you.

The both of you are just waiting for your voices to come back.

You’ll just...take it slowly today. Find a quiet moment alone with Theo. Maybe not this early in the morning, but maybe in the late afternoon. You’re sure you’ll find an exactly right time to bring it up to him.

What should you say? Maybe you should apologize, first, for prying, for having carried this with you since that day at the exhibit a full two months before, so short and yet so long back it feels like a different lifetime ago. Of course, you won’t be telling him about the conversation with Vincent, at the cliffside, but maybe you should tell him about what you’d learned from the boy Vincent, maybe—

“Can’t sleep?”

His voice drags you back into reality, your eyes refocusing to see how close his face is, his beautiful sea-blue eyes. The familiar ones you’d seen on someone else.

“Just a little...distracted,” you offer.

Your heart is up your throat all at once. Should you bring it up now? You’d already been procrastinating on telling him about this for an irresponsible amount of time—no, you were waiting for him to be ready, maybe?—so you may as well do it now, right? Just tell him how you feel about it. He’s basically already asking you what’s wrong. This is your chance to say it. You’ve been waiting for this. You can’t keep sitting on this secret forever.

But before the words come out of your mouth, Theo speaks.

“Come with me out today, won’t you?”

You blink. All your resolution dissolves into thin air at the missed chance.

“Work? Yeah, sure, I can help.”

“I have something to pick up at the atelier, after lunch. I want you to see it, too.”

You nod, pressing your face against his neck. “Yeah. Sure.”

Inhaling his scent, feeling his warmth, relishing in his touch, you try to banish the thought of some other woman in his arms just like this, just like how he held you, how he’d promised the world to her too, maybe. How he’d married her just like that, and how you’re just… here. You try to let the thoughts come up in a cloud of smoke. Later, you tell yourself. Later.

Theo rubs a comforting circle on your lower back.

-

You leave the house after lunch. Arthur sends you and Theo off with a round of teasing that you do not understand, but one that seems to set Theo on edge—you don’t know why yet. Once you exit the carriage, you see the warm spring sun basking the streets in a golden light. It’s a Wednesday, an ordinary day, and the streets of Paris are the same as they’ve always been. Parents walking around town with their children. Busybodies rushing past. Carriages crawl up and down the avenue. You whiff the delicious smell of your favorite pancakes when you pass by your favorite café.

You think of all the memories you’ve made in this city. Down that corner, in a hundred meters you’ll reach the house of a marquis who loves rococo-styled paintings. Straight up the avenue is the café where you and Theo had your first date. If you turn left at that jewelry shop, there’s a bakery that lends its walls to display some of the young artists’ works. A pathway that leads out the side of a bookshop leads to the Seine, where you’d had long walks with Theo, talking about art, love, family.

You are so distracted cataloguing a little map of nostalgia that the whole time you are lost in memory, Theo is also seemingly lost in thought. He stays quiet, guiding you past crowds and on the safer side of the street. The only way you know he’s still with you is the comforting warmth of his hand in yours—your hand he had taken in his as he guided you down the carriage, and then hadn’t let go—and you hold hands all the way to the atelier.

There are no artists today, when you get there, no marquis; just you and Theo, the front door creaking when you enter. The gallery is as spic and span as always, filled with the kind of artwork the Academie loved to tout. But in this building, the magic is on the second floor, the room with the distinct smell of paint and thinner seeping through its walls; a scent that has become to you very familiar.

You go upstairs to the atelier, finding it empty as well, the easels pushed to the side with their respective canvases left out to dry, save for one easel, standing in the middle of the room. It’s covered with a white cloth; the window at the end of the room lets in just enough sun to spotlight the covered painting.

Theo shuts the door behind you, and then settles next to you. “Came for this,” Theo says softly, pulling you gently by the wrist toward the painting before he lets go, grips the cloth with one hand.

You feel him hesitate, but in a moment it is gone.

When he pulls off the piece of cloth, the painting is revealed—a painting of a gray near-spring morning, the trees without leaves and bare, sheets of ice slowly melting atop a glassy silver lake, shimmering white in the dim sunlight. This was a painting you’d seen a duplicate of, one time you were watching the younger artists work—but this one, and you’re sure because of what Theo had taught you, was an original, as original as can be.

It’s hardly the masterpiece that would change your life, as Theo liked to say, but it was an amazing piece, and you’d secretly wished you could own it.

“That’s... a Monet,” is all you say, stepping closer to be fully engrossed in the beautiful near-chromatic landscape, the white of the ice so stark you can almost feel its chill. You’re struck by the wonder of art, as you always do, with Theo. “That’s an actual Monet.”

“What do you think of it?” he asks, nonchalantly.

“Well, it’s, wow,” you say, rather eloquently, “Where do I begin? it’s beautiful.”

“It is,” he says, placing one hand on your waist, and another on the painting’s frame. “And it’s yours.”

The weight of his love is, all of a sudden, so heavy and certain on your shoulders. And oh, what a weight you didn’t mind to bring. You feel so childish so suddenly. “Why?”

He ruffles your hair. “Just take it or I’m taking it back.”

You pout a little, placing your hand on the frame too. “No! I want it. Thank you, Theo,” you say.

And then nothing else.

Just silence.

The both of you know there are things to be said, it’s just that neither of you know where to begin.

Theo decides it’s better to just do.

“I’m not… Vincent. I’m not my brother. I don’t have the skills for painting, and neither have I been chosen for creating anything wonderful. I’m just a mediocre, ordinary person.”

“You know I don’t like it when you say that,” you murmur, gripping his arm.

“I know. But it’s true, and I’m okay with it,” he says. “At the very least, this is what I can do. To buy, and sell, and share paintings. This is my whole life. This is who I am, this is probably what I was born to do. So this is what I can do for you.”

You bite your lip.

“This is the only way I know how to love you; to give you all of what I know how to give.”

You want to cry. You want to apologize for the days you spent discolored by envy, clouded with distrust. You want to take back all the time you’ve spent mulling about if Theo really loved you as much as he claimed to.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Theo,” you say, throwing your arms around him—but this time, the touch doesn’t claw at you; it isn’t a constant chant of mine mine mine mine, but just the collapse of wanting to be held. “I’m sorry I ever doubted this. I just… I didn’t know what could happen. I’m not—I won’t ever be—ready to lose you.”

“You aren’t going to lose me. You were never going to.”

Your heart feels so real suddenly, in your chest. So heavy and alight. “I didn’t know that.”

“You should have, silly hondje,” he says, as he bends down to pick you up, place you on the sofa by the side of the room. You smooth your hand over its fabric and chuckle to yourself; this piece of furniture has seen so much history, if between you and Theo. And here it is to witness one more.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it earlier.”

His voice wavers in a way you never want to hear ever again.

Months and months of words hidden underneath heavy tongues, but they dissolve all at once. “You didn’t have a reason to.”

The lump in his throat is too heavy to put into words. “I didn’t know.”

He doesn’t say it, but you can see it in his eyes, like the boy with his face and Vincent’s name is reflected right on its glassy surface. “I know you didn’t.” You press your hand against his cheek, and you’re surprised at how it doesn’t shake. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

He looks up at you. “For what?”

“For holding this against you.”

He turns away with an exhale, making an expression you can’t make out. “You were right to do it.”

“Maybe I was,” you say, with a deep sigh. “But it still wouldn’t have been right of me to have made it all about myself.”

The words sink in between the two of you, refreshing and cool in its honesty, like melted ice.

“Do you want to ask about her?”

Theo doesn’t know.

He does, but at the same time, he doesn’t.

Because what then happens once he knows?

Look at how much happened, when he knew, just standing there in the gallery?

What more could happen if he dared to ask the rest of it?

And if he did… what is there to be done?

He frowns. “I didn’t think she would stay in Paris.”

“She doesn’t. She only came to visit, and heard about the exhibit when she was in town.” Theo doesn’t move. “She came to visit a friend, and… Vincent.”

Theo flinches. “Broer?”

“In Auvers-sur-Oise.”

The information clicks into place. Auvers-sur-Oise, where they’d taken Vincent’s body to the place he’d written about wanting to visit. Where he would have gone, if not for…

“I didn’t think…”

“Who do you think took care of all the paintings you’d left behind?” You snicker. “You left her a lot of work to do.”

“She didn’t have to.”

“She will, though,” you affirm. “She has, and she will, and she always will. Because she still loves you, Theo. That’s how much love you’ve left for her.”

Theo’s heart near collapses.

“You talk as if you know for sure.”

You smile, a small smile that’s equal parts hurt and equal parts forgiveness; doused in relief but also love. The rest of forever is a foggy place and you hold a lamp of certainty on it.

“You forget I come from the future.”

You pull his head against your chest and rest your head in his hair, shielding him from your own expression (teary-eyed, relieved, exhausted) and allowing him to hide his own.

“You don’t need to keep beating yourself up over this.”

He snorts, a wordless well, you did too, you’re one to talk. Oh, the delight of once again being able to hear what Theo does not say.

“I might have, but now I don’t. Want to know why?”

Theo snakes his arms around your waist.

“…Because you stayed. Because you’re still thinking of me when you’re dealing with all of this grief on your own.”

Grief Theo believed he didn’t deserve to live without.

“I left her on her own.”

“You did,” you say; there is no point in sugarcoating it now. “And at the same time, you didn’t. You taught her to stand, and you gave her so much love, and faith, and direction…” You shake your head, because by god, does Theo just keep giving and giving and giving and he doesn’t even know how much he is doing. “You gave her Vincentje.”

Theo holds you tighter, but really, it’s you that’s holding him together.

“You can go around saying everything is your fault, Theo, be the judge, defendant, the prosecutor, the jury—but it still won’t change the truth,” you say. “That at the end of the day, you’ve planted the seeds of greatness, and the world will watch it blossom from her.” You cup his cheeks. “From the artists you’re nurturing. From the art world you’re watching over. From me.”

You press a kiss on his forehead and settle him back under your chin. You feel him shaking, ever so gently.

“You don’t have to keep being the bad guy, you know?”

He sighs, like he doesn’t believe it. Or like he’s finally letting it out of his system. The two of you sit together like that in companionable silence for a long moment, as Theo begins to put himself together. And when the fog in his mind has cleared, he murmurs a question into your flesh, like he’s guilty for wanting to ask it.

“How is the boy?”

You smile. And it hurts, but smiling is what this moment deserves. “He loves his papa very much. He says he doesn’t understand art, but he knows how much it means to him, his mama, his papa, that he respects it. He says his papa is watching over him, and that’s the only way he can keep up with his mama.” You feel Theo clench his jaw. The sting of tears begin to grow on your eyes. “Theo, he looks just like you.”

A single laugh, pressed into your chest. “He ought to do better than me.”

“And he will, for sure,” you say. Adamant. “Isn’t it exciting to see what he can do?”

“Would you like to see it?”

You smile like it’s obvious. “Yes, of course. He’s a brilliant boy. Just like his papa.”

He presses a kiss to your shoulder before looking up at you. “Why are you like that?”

“Like what?”

Theo only looks at your face for a moment, and you wait for him to continue.

“I thought art dealership had to be a lonely job.”

The shift surprises you, but you nod. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“You taught me that,” he says, “in the ways you let me be alone, let me process this on my own, didn’t come at my throat for it. I want to apologize for how long it took. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The smile hurts. “I know.”

“When I got that Monet painting, I was thinking of you. I was thinking of how beautiful you are, how strong and yet so tender. How important you are to me. How even in this… coldness, you still managed to find me. Sit with me.”

“Theo…”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Jo. I do, still have feelings for her—but they are regret, remorse. That chapter is over, and I am no longer part of her story; my exhibit in the gallery of her life is over. And you… you hold my whole heart. The main event, the masterpiece. I took you from the waves of time, you know? My little time-traveling knabbeltje.”

“Hey!”

“I love you, ik hou van jou, je t'aime,” he chants. “I’ll tell you over and over again, until you get sick of it.”

“I won’t get sick of it.”

Theo laughs, and oh, the sound of his laughter. “That’s what you think.”

You grin, pulling at his tie and kissing him on the lips. “Challenge accepted.”

-

(“I can’t believe you bought me a Monet to ask for forgiveness. Maybe we should fight more often.”

“Hondje.”

“I was joking!”

“You spend too much time with Arthur, if you’re joking like that.”

“Geez, Theo, don’t be jealous of your best friend.”

“We’re not friends.”)

-

Theo tells you to hang the painting in your room, but considering you already spend most your nights in his, the Monet hangs instead on the walls of his room, watching over the bed like a constant reminder of the lessons learned from the entire experience.

On the dresser is a letter you finally had the courage to show Theo.

On the dresser is a letter from Jo, addressed to you.

---

in the atelier: ice melting near vétheuil by claude monet, 1880

i don't have any particular smart reason for the painting choice, i just thought it was really nice; i feel like theo doesn't also need much spectacle to get his message across, so. also that’s a monet, okay.

fun fact, theo was hosting an exhibit by monet when he was preparing to get their apartment at 8 cite pigalle... didn’t know before i wrote this in, actually! 

[softboywriting]

Welcome To The Pack | Mendes Triplets Series | Part Five

Summary: You’re a human who has moved in with the Mendes triplets as their newest housemate. You’ll have to learn to navigate life with werewolves, college classes, and your feelings for each guy. [fluff]

Word Count: 2k

|Masterlist In Bio|

It's early on a Sunday morning when Shawn invites you to go out with them. He says they go on a hike once a week, and you know they go out, but you're pretty sure their idea of a hike and yours is quite different. The four of you head out into the woods down the street from your house, they’re pretty thick and have a creek that runs through the trees. Its nice, even though it’s cold.

Once you get just inside the trees Shawn gives you his zip up jacket and they run off into the woods. You barely get a word out in protest before you’re surrounded by three huge wolves. It’s obviously the boys, but you have no idea which one is which, they all look incredibly similar.

The biggest one of the three bumps against you, pressing his side into your back. He noses under your hand and you pet his head. You would guess it's Shawn since he's the biggest of three as a human.

The one with slightly darker fur circles you, head down as he growls lowly. You watch him, eyes narrowed as he jumps away from your outstretched hand. It's Raul. The slight distrust and standoffishness is apparent.

Then there is the second biggest wolf, nearly identical to the biggest wolf, who is sitting patiently, waiting for you to approach. You think it must be Peter, since he is the only one left, but something about him isn't quite right. He nudges into your hand and you rub his ears. "I'm not sure which one is which."

Raul lets out a sharp bark and you turn to look at him.

"I am well aware which one you are, Raul." You say impatiently and he sits down, looking proud of himself. What a show off, even as a wolf.

The biggest wolf joins the other in front of you. They're so similar, right down to the fur color and markings, but one is clearly larger It must be Shawn, has to be. "Shawn?" You ask, pointing to the biggest one.

The big one lowers his head and whimpers. Obviously not.

"Peter? You're so big though. I thought for sure Shawn would be the biggest." The big one rolls over and you drop to your knees, rubbing his side. "You're such a big boy, how’d you get so big?"

Shawn nudges your back and you hold his head.

"Jealous baby." You laugh and Raul jumps on you, pushing you into Peter and Shawn. "Hey! Jerk, you're squishing me!"

Shawn tackles Raul and you lay down in the leaves watching the two wolves tangle a few feet away. Peter lays his head on your lap and you scratch it. They're just the same as wolves as they are as humans. Go figure.

____________________

Raul walks into your room late one night and looks around. You look up from your laptop. You've been slogging away on an English paper that you don't want to write. It’s the most boring thing on the planet and you would rather pull out your own hair one by one. "Can I help you?"

"I need you."

"Okay? For what?"

Raul crosses his arms. "School work."

"Like...tutoring or?"

"No. Just come with me."

You get up and set aside your laptop. Your English paper can wait until later, it's almost done anyway and you need a break. Raul leads you upstairs to his bedroom and you peek around the doorway into the forbidden territory. You’ve never dared set foot in any of the guys’ rooms without being invited. Though they always seem to invite themselves into your room. You suppose your sense of personal space and theirs is probably pretty different considering your upbringings and cultures. "Should I come in?"

"Yeah, door is open isn’t it?"

You walk in and his room smells like vanilla and sandalwood, soft but rich and heady. It’s so very much like Raul. Honestly you didn't know what to expect. A mess? Stinky boy smell? Everything painted black? What you get is none of those things. In fact, Raul's room is more like a mini art studio with a bed and a dresser in the corner. There is a huge canvas drop cloth on the floor and covering two walls. Somehow in the time you have lived with these guys, you never found out Raul painted.

"What are you doing?" You ask, walking around paint spots on the covered floor. "Why do you need me?"

"I need your picture."

"For what?"

"To paint." He says matter of factly as he grabs a camera off his bed. "I want to use the color of your eyes for something because it’s the perfect color and unless you want to stand here while I color match for who knows how long, I just want a photo."

You shake your head. "I think you're missing something here."

"What?"

"The fact that I had no idea you were an artist?" You laugh, gesturing to his work station. "How come you never said anything?"

Raul shrugs.  "It wasn't important? Besides...it's not like my major or something. I just take a few classes to help with my art skills for architecture."

“You’re majoring as an architect?”

“Yeah.” He lifts his camera and then lowers it, changing some sort of setting on it you assume.

You walk around and look at the canvases, some half finished, propped against the wall. “Art could be your major.”

“No.”

"Why not? These are good." You grab a canvas with pink roses on it, they’re very detailed and vibrant, almost like looking at a photograph. "I love this."

"Take it."

"But...you don't want it?"

Raul shrugs again. "It's just stupid flowers. Can I take your photo now?"

You tuck the painting up under your arm. "Fine. But only if you show me the finished product you need my eye color for."

"Okay, but only if you don't keep telling me how good my shit is."

"Fine."

Raul lifts the camera and moves in close for a good picture. He changes angles a few times and then pulls back. He looks at the screen and smiles a little bit. "Wow." He mutters under his breath.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Thanks, you can go now I guess."

You roll your eyes. "Good talk," you say sarcastically and leave his room with your new painting in hand. You don't understand Raul. One minute he's a sweetheart, taking you to lunch, holding hands, and the next he acts tough and indifferent. He's hard to read, and even harder to unpack.

_____________________

Something has been bothering you since the night of Shawn’s hockey game. It’s not anything anyone has done per say but more of something that they haven’t done. Since you moved in, now almost three months ago, you’ve never seen any of the guys with a significant other. To your knowledge all three boys are in to girls, but you can’t be sure since you’ve never actually asked. Either way, you’ve never heard them talk about going on a date or talk about being with anyone. What really got you thinking about it was how Shawn turned down the three girls after his game in favor of going home for dinner. Why not go to a party, meet someone, get some action? It’s not a big deal, and it’s really none of your business, but you can’t help but think about it.

Peter stands at the stove, stirring some rice in a pot for dinner. It’s his turn to make it and he’s making baked chicken with rice and broccoli. Sounds pretty plain, but Peter makes it taste really good.

“Can I ask you something?” You say, taking a seat at the dining table at the edge of the kitchen.

“Sure?”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend, whatever.”

Peter lets out a little laugh. “No lead up, just bam, why are you single? Damn.” He turns off the stove and moves the pot of rice to a cool burner. “If you must know, I’m single because it’s hard for me to connect with someone.”

“But you’re so sweet and smart.”

“Thank you, but it’s not just that.” He takes a seat opposite you and leans his head on his chin. “We wolves tend to try to find people who are committed. We don’t like to play games when it comes to relationships. I also have to find someone who understands and accepts me as a werewolf, and that’s not always as easy as it may seem.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so...”

“You like me though right? We connect?”

Peter flushes, cheeks turning scarlet as he clears his throat. “Of course I like you. As a pack member and my friend. It’s not like...I don’t...not like...y’know. Unless you want that then-”

“Peter.” You start and he freezes, eyes panicked behind his glasses. “I meant as a friend and a pack mate.”

“Y-yes. I like you.”

“Okay, good.” You smile, warmth on your own cheeks. “You should probably check the chicken. The timer has been going off for a minute or so.”

“Shit!” Peter jumps up and you laugh as he scrambles to the oven with a pair of mitts over his hands. He saves the chicken and as soon as its out of the oven, Shawn and Raul appear to get dinner. You laugh to yourself as you watch the three guys argue over whether or not they can start dishing up food. It’s always something in this house.

_____________________

Shawn knocks on your open bedroom door and you look up from your phone. It’s after nine in the evening and you’re about to go to bed. It’s not like Shawn to be up much later than this either. He gets so exhausted from going to class and then hockey practice nearly every day, he just passes out when he gets home.

“What's up?” you ask, muting the tv.

“My tv is broken. Well, my remote is broken. I sort of stepped on it this morning in a hurry to leave.”

“Okay?”

Shawn looks over to your muted TV and then back to you. “Could I...watch my show in here?”

“Why not ask Raul or Peter? Or did they already turn you away?”

“Raul told me to shove it and Peter’s door is locked.” He sighs and hangs his head. “I can just catch it next week. I’ll pick up a remote tomorrow.”

“No, come in.” You pull back the corner of your bedspread and he wastes no time crawling into the bed next to you. You decide to take pity on him. You know what it’s like to miss your favorite show for a week and then not know what anyone is talking about on your social media. “What channel?”

“Thirty six. It’s grey’s anatomy. “

“Ah, gotcha.” You change the channel and Shawn scoots closer, propped against your bed head. “If I fall asleep don’t worry about waking me up okay?

“Mmmhmm.” Shawn grabs the remote and turns up the volume as the opening credits for the show starts to play. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, and you owe me.”

He leans over and kisses your temple. “You have my undying love and gratitude.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that get me? What’s the exchange rate on undying love and gratitude?”

“Whatever you want.”

“That seems like a loaded offer for something as simple as letting you watch a TV show.”

Shawn looks away from the tv and you raise your eyebrows. He lowers his voice, talking soft and sincerely. “I’d give you anything. You should know that.”

“Y-yeah. I’ll have to raincheck you on that.” You feel your stomach clench. That was way more loaded then the offer was. The way he’s looking at you...it’s insane. No. You cannot be feeling some kind of way for Shawn. You live together. Its...no. But what if? You bite your lip thinking about a scenario where you do become more than friends with Shawn. You’d let him do just about anything, and he- no. stop. You have to stop. No more.

———–

End Part Five

———-

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed this and reblog to support and encourage myself and fellow writers. Next part coming soon! - A

Custom header per part made by the incredible delicateshawn

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****