#also we are NOT going to talk about my body dysphoria please and thank you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

newtthetranswriter · 11 months ago

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PLEASE WRITE THIS WHEN U HAVE TIME. I know your requests are closed, but I wanted to request this because my memory is very bad & I forget a lot of my ideas.

transfem reader w toji fushiguro (or gojo if you’d rather write him) who has gender dysphoria about her body? maybe she does everything she can to appeal to the stereotypically feminine view—makeup, hair, heels—but when she sees the women that flirt w her boyfriend, she can’t help but feel inferior. maybe her body’s too rectangular or her chest is too small.

I can’t seem to find any fics like this, and I really like your blog 🙏🙏 again, please write this when your requests are open.

Word count: 1932

Pairing Satoru Gojo x Trans!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Self doubt, mentions of transphobia (internalized and old fashioned views), ooc gojo?

A/n: Hello Thank you so much for requesting. I know you said I could wait to write it until I opened requests again, but I just felt inspired by this so I hope you enjoy it. Also I went with Gojo mainly because I'm not the biggest toji fan. I am trans masculine so I’m not 100% sure if I captured the feelings trans fem people feel so if there are any mistakes please let me know. Anyways enjoy and remember to Hydrate or Diedrate.

Dating Satoru was a dream come true. I mean seriously never would I have thought such a high ranking member of Jujutsu society would even look my way let alone The Satoru Gojo. But I guess I got lucky, and even though Satoru is one of the most loving people I have ever met, I can’t help but to doubt myself.

Afterall life as a transgender person is hard enough as it is but add the strict and stuff beliefs of the older generation of Jujutsu sorcerers and you have a breeding ground for self doubt. Everytime Satoru and I are in public or have to interact with one of the other clans, my mind is flooded with terrible thoughts. ‘How can Satoru stand to be seen with me, there are so many more beautiful women out there.’ or ‘He’d be better off with a cis woman who is truly beautiful.’ It’s hard to quiet these thoughts when I’ve heard these comments from the higher ups in passing and sometimes I believe them.

And today of all days, the thoughts are more precisdent as me and Satoru are out on one of the few dates we get with his busy schedule. I had spent hours before trying to look as beautiful as possible to make this date perfect, I had Shoko help me pick a nice outfit and the perfect pair of heels. I spent most of the day perfecting the perfect hairstyle and make-up look for the night. Eventually with major words of encouragement from Shoko and Satoru himself I was ready, I even started the night feeling confident that I looked amazing.

But alas all good feelings come to an end. Once we were at the restaurant, I couldn’t help but notice all the beautiful women staring at Satoru and I mean I can’t blame them but it just caused the thoughts to surface again. Noticing my slight shift in mood Satoru turned to me, “Hey is everything okay?” He asked as he placed his arm around my waist. Not wanting to worry him I just smiled and nodded at him. “Okay… but you know if there’s something bothering you let me know, Ok?” He said, I could tell he was skeptical but he dropped the topic when the hostess asked us to follow her to the table.

Once seated we talked briefly about how his students were doing and how curses were becoming more annoying as of late before dropping the topic of work and just talking about tv and plans for the next couple weeks. “And I was thinking that we could go check out the new mall that opened up recently, I saw some beautiful dresses I thought you might like and would love to get you a few,” Satoru explained as he looked at the menu in front of him.

“That sounds lovely.” I responded and was planning on continuing the conversation when a waitress approached the table.

Looking at the young woman, I couldn’t help but notice how she was the picture of feminine beauty. Curvy in all the right places, perfect hair and subtle but gorgeous make-up. “Hello I’m Ally, I’ll be your server tonight, can I get you any drinks?” Hearing her speak for some reason made my heart hurt, knowing I would likely never sound as young and girlish as her.

I noticed Satoru looked at me and I quickly wiped the look of doubt off my face before he could say anything. I guess it worked because he turned his attention back to the woman, and quickly ordered us some wine and an appetizer we had agreed on. The waitress wrote the order down before excusing herself to take care of the order. Once she had walked away Satoru turned back to me. “Are you absolutely positive nothing is wrong?” He asked as he placed his hand over mine on the table. Once again not wanting to sour the mood of the evening, I nodded and said I was fine and turned the topic back to the previous conversation.

After we got our drinks and we ordered our entrees, I couldn’t help but notice that our waitress was checking in on us more than what is normally expected. She would stop by the table every time she walked by to check if the wine was to our liking or if we needed anything while we waited for the main course. I quickly picked up on how she would get slightly closer to Satoru’s side of the table each time, it was also clear that Satoru hadn’t noticed the subtle comments being directed at him. I couldn’t help but think that he was saying anything about it because he liked being hit on by a cis woman. Maybe he secretly hates the fact that I'm trans and just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. Eventually the thoughts got the best of me and tears started to well up in my eyes and it was taking everything out of me not to burst into sobs.

Once the waitress left again saying she would check on our food, Satoru turned to look at me, and I could see his eyes widen exponentially even through his dark sunglasses. “Hey, it’s ok. What’s wrong and don’t say nothing, something is clearly bothering you.” He said gently but sternly as he squeezed my hand and pulled his sunglasses off so I could make unobstructed eye contact.

Not having the strength to hold it in any longer I let out a few of my thoughts, maybe a little too loud for the setting but I couldn’t hold it in. “Why are you with me Satoru? You could have anyone, so why me?” It took the white haired male a second to process what was said but before he could speak, I continued. “I’m not beautiful like every woman here, I’m not curvy in all the right spots, my make up looks like a middle schooler did it, so why do you stay with me, when you could have a real woman?” I hated saying it but it was true in my mind, or at least I believed it. I wasn’t thin with big boobs and a big butt, I’m just flat. My figure is the opposite of curvy, I have broad shoulders and the flattest chest. I can’t grasp how someone so handsome can sit across from someone like me and say that I’m beautiful when so many better people are around.

After my mini outburst it was almost silent in our area of the restaurant. Satoru just looked at me stunned, he knew I suffered from dysphoria but he thought he had done a good job helping me feel better. The six-eyes user looked down at the table before speaking. “I know you have trouble believing me when I say this but you are the most beautiful person I have ever met. I don’t care if you aren’t curvy or if you struggle with make-up sometimes, No matter what you are beautiful to me.” As he said this he stood from the table and whipped the tears that had escaped my eyes from my face. While he was focused on me I noticed our waitress coming back this time with our food in hand. Seeing me look in that direction Satoru waved over the woman. “Can you have those put in togo boxes for us? My partner and I are done here.” I looked up at him shocked, but before I could protest he spoke again. “And before that can you please have your supervisor come speak with me?” Now I’m extremely confused.

“Satoru, what are you doing? I thought we were going to eat here?” I asked, confused, as I watched a nervous looking man approach. Satoru just stood up straight, put his sunglasses on and turned to the man who I’m now guessing is the supervisor.

“You must be the supervisor. I would like to file a complaint about the waitress who served me and my lovely partner here.” Satoru spoke in his formal tone he reserved for the higher ups, it was clear he was upset but he sounded so calm. “I was just trying to enjoy one of the rare occasions when I can pamper my Love, and your waitress spent most of the night hitting on me. Now I tried to be understanding and let it slide, but after numerous comments that clearly made my partner upset, I have decided that we will be taking our food to go and we will not be returning to this establishment.” While I didn’t expect that, I wasn’t expecting the look of concern that washed over the man’s face at my boyfriend's comment. “I will also be pulling all support from this restaurant that is provided by the Gojo estate.” With that final comment Satoru turned to me and offered his hand for me to take, as I stood up, the waitress from before brought our food now in to-go boxes and handed it to Satoru.

With food in hand we started to exit the restaurant, but before we could reach the door, the supervisor ran after us calling for Satoru. “Mr. Gojo please reconsider, I’ll fire this woman. Flirting with customers is against restaurant policy. Please do not pull the funding.” At first It seemed that he was actually upset about what the woman did but with the last sentence it was clear he was actually more worried about the money the Gojo clan apparently provided the business.

“No, I will be pulling the funding. You clearly care more about the money then how your employees are treating your top investors.” Satoru said not even looking at the man. With that we left and went home.

Once we were home and finished with our food, we laid down in our large bed and just cuddled with each other. Breaking the silence I asked a question I had been thinking about since we left. “Why did you do that?” I felt him looking at me clearly confused by the sudden question. “I mean tell that guy you were pulling the funding from the restaurant, I didn’t know the Gojo clan had investments in such things.” I was confused.

I felt Satoru chuckle as I laid on his chest before he spoke. “First, The Gojo clan has investments in a lot you don’t know about. Secondly I told him that because I meant it.” I lifted my head to look at him. As if reading my mind he continued, “I’m not going to support a business that only cares about the money and only has a problem with staff being disrespectful when their funds are threatened.” I nodded and was about to say something before he stopped me. “Plus I could tell you were uncomfortable the entire time and were just holding back for my sake. I want you to know that if there is ever a problem I will deal with it.”

“Thank you Satoru.” I said laying my head back on his chest. I decided it was probably time to go to sleep when I let out a small yawn.

As I drifted off, I heard Satoru speak one last time. “I love you, Y/n, don’t ever forget it. And I mean it when I say you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, I could never wish for more.” With that he placed a kiss to the top of my head and we both fell asleep enjoying each other's embrace.

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #x transfem reader #x trans reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x trans reader #satoru gojo x reader

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my-castles-crumbling · 9 months ago

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Soooo, i’ve been following u for a while (adore ur microfics btw ❤️) and now I require advice… thankfully you’re good at that.

So i’m straight. And i’ve fallen in love with this guy. He’s adorable and sweet and brave and honestly the best person I know. I met him about a month and a half ago at a work thing (he doesn’t work where I work tho, not that it matters) and we’ve been dating ever since.

We haven’t done anything sex related yet (don’t worry this isn’t abt that). But the other day I decided we should talk about it, because he seemed super bothered by the idea (i had a hunch he might’ve been ace, which I was fine with) but it turns out it’s not that, he’s trans.

He told me he transitioned pretty young, and that he’s had top surgery but not bottom. I reassured him this doesn’t change anything, cause it doesn’t, but to be honest, i’ve never really been around trans people? I know queer people but i’ve never had a trans friend or anything. So i’m worried about how to do this right.

I assume it’s best to just be normal? Sex has never really mattered to me that much, so I guess in that regard i’ll just go with the flow of whatever. But I just thought, is there anything I should know or think about?

I think this could be a really great relationship, we want the same things and get on so well.

Maybe i’m being panicky, trying to make sure I don’t do anything that could hurt him. He asked me if it was okay that he’s trans because i’m straight. I told him that I love him and I don’t doubt that. And that I still feel straight. I still love a man. I wouldn’t really aline my sexuality with genitals anyway?

I don’t know. I’m nervous I guess. I’ve been in plenty of different types of relationships. Good and bad. And I just don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give me?

Look tbh I don’t totally know what i’m asking but like- advice? Please? Thanks Cas ❤️

AHHHH I think this is so cute. The fact that you're being thoughtful enough to ask is UGH. SO sweet.

So, you're ABSOLUTELY right. Sexuality has to do with gender, not body parts. So you're a girl (I'm assuming) and you're straight. Meaning you're attracted to boys. And this person, trans or not, is a boy. Simple! The fact that he is worried about your reaction is probably because he's experienced transphobia in the past. For this, just remind him that you see him as a boy, regardless of his body parts.

Trans people can deal with something called 'dysphoria' meaning they are uncomfortable (physically or mentally) because they feel like their expression or body doesn't match the gender they identify as. Dysphoria can be caused by anything - looking in the mirror and seeing something they don't like, a comment from someone else (even unintentional), or intimacy (amongst other things).

As far as sex, I'm going to break my rules here and give you some advice because I think it's important.

Sex could cause dysphoria. It's super important to note that every trans person is different. Some experience extreme dysphoria, others just a bit, others none at all! The same thing is true with intimacy- every trans person (just like cis people) has different preferences with intimacy. But this is especially true because for some trans people, intimacy could cause dysphoria because you're interacting with body parts that are normally not as...interacted with, lol.

Because of this, its super important to communicate. Ask him what he's comfortable with. What does he/doesn't he want you to touch? If you're going to use dirty talk, does he prefer certain terms for his body parts?

But here's the thing- communication is important for good, healthy sex anyways. And for a healthy relationship. And it's much better to just ask. Asking questions isn't wrong, and it shows that you don't want to make him uncomfortable. It could also be a great idea to make it clear what you've said to me- you see him as a boy, you don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give you.

Keep the communication open and everything will be fine <3

I'm going to name you adoring anon in case you write again!

#ask #asks #ask cas #adoring anon

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misslavenderlady · 2 years ago

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Hi Lavender ❤️ I have a peculiar writing request for you. You don't have to do this if it's not your thing.

I know you've written transmasc reader, but I'd like to ask you to write a transmasc! Michael x David.

Like, maybe David goes to Michael's house one evening to spy on him or visit or something, only to find Michael getting ready for a bath or bed and Michael gets embarrassed and shy amd afraid since he didn't tell anybody.

David can be all fluffy and tell him it's alright and he has nothing to be ashamed for and he likes amd loves him just for who he is.

Just something really fluffy since I've been feeling awefully dysphoric and depressed lately.

I know this is a lot like my last request, so feel free to take some artistic liberty ~

Love youuu ❤️

- @legal-lost-boy

Take It Like a Man 💪

TransMasc!Michael/David

Summary: David goes by the Emerson house to see his boyfriend, but gets quite a surprise when he walks in on Michael getting ready for a shower. Michael is worried about David's reaction to his body, but perhaps it's the perfect chance to bring the lovers closer~

Thank you @legal-lost-boy for the request! We also talked more over messages, and I got the go-ahead to add smut. So this is both sweet and spicy~

WARNINGS: Nsfw/Smut/18+ Readers Only, TransMasc!Character, No top or bottom surgery, Sneaking in, Spying, Use of a binder, Fear of coming out, Body Insecurity, Dysphoria, Acceptance, Body Positivity, Making out, Nippleplay, Neck kissing, Cunnilingus, Mention of birth control, Shower Sex, Vaginal Sex, Praise kink, Love making, Masculine and Feminine genitalia terms, Creampie, Aftercare

Being insecure had become a foreign concept to David as a vampire. There was no need to be fearful of anything when you were the most powerful creature to walk the Earth. Anyone who didn't like you or judged you for something could simply be crushed like a bug.

So, he held his head high and didn't let others get to him. David would dress how he wanted, wear whatever makeup and jewelry he liked, and have fun however he pleased. Nobody was powerful enough to stop him from doing what he wanted. He and the Lost Boys were confident and proud of who they were.

Though he had to admit, he had been thrown a curveball when Michael came into his life.

It was a bit strange, being in love with a human. Even if David himself had once been human, he had long forgotten what it was like to be such a weak and vulnerable being. Sometimes it felt like he was interacting with an alien. Michael got worked up over the silliest things. If people were looking at him weirdly, if his hair didn't look right, even if he was doing nothing at all, he wanted to see if it was natural-looking.

Still, David didn't mind any quirks. Michael was his dream guy. He was more than happy to let the human boy be himself. So long as they were together, everything was perfect.

One night in particular, David was thinking about Michael quite a bit. His mind was plagued with risqué thoughts of the human boy. Even after being with him for a while, Michael was still incredibly shy about getting intimate. Whenever they were making out, he tensed up when David’s hands lingered too low. It was kind of cute seeing him get so flustered.

Wanting to test his luck and try to get some sugar, David decided to let the others in the pack go off and do their own thing while he paid his boyfriend a visit. He took off into the night for a flight to the Emerson house.

It was rather late and judging by the lack of lights on, that meant everyone in the family had turned in for the night. That didn’t concern David, as Michael had become quite a night owl since they got together. It was the only time David could see him after all.

Only a single light was on in the house. After coming over so many times, he immediately recognized it as belonging to Michael’s room. There was no time to waste.

The vampire slipped in and out of the shadows, stealthily making his way to the side of the house. Though a tree stretched out near the window, David found that it was much easier to just fly up to the upper level of the house. The first time he came by when they started dating, he made the excuse of climbing up the branches. His boyfriend was none the wiser.

Michael typically didn’t mind whenever David came to visit in such a way. He said it was kind of romantic having his boyfriend come up to his window and sneak in for some alone time. So, David did as he normally would and slipped into Michael’s room, ready to greet the human.

To his surprise, Michael was nowhere in sight. It wasn’t until he heard a noise in the bathroom attached on the other side that David got a bit curious. The door was open, and the light flipped on, indicating that Michael was inside. If David had been a human, he would have been more considerate of things like privacy.

But of course, that did not apply to vampires.

David quietly stepped in front of the door of the bathroom. Sure enough, Michael was standing in the middle of the room, his back to David. The blond didn’t really know what he expected to see, but it wasn’t Michael taking off his shirt. That itself wasn’t the odd part. What threw David off guard was seeing a black binder underneath.

Michael’s body was toned and muscular, as he was incredibly dedicated to his hobby of weightlifting. But while he was fine letting David admire his strong arms and impressive abs, he had never shown off his chest. It wasn’t until this exact moment that David started to realize why that was.

He continued to watch in silence while Michael strategically lifted up the material bit by bit until he could properly slip the rest of it off over his head. David was so focused on what was happening that he didn’t even think to look away or step out of the room when Michael began to turn around. The human boy tossed the binder onto the sink counter, and when he did so, David got a full view of just what Michael had been so shy about for so long.

Michael didn’t have a chest like David and his boys did. It was bigger and both sides went down in a tear-drop shape. Being around as long as he had, David was no dummy to what he was finding out.

Michael was transgender.

He didn’t even get the chance to think further about what he was seeing when Michael looked up, eyes locking on him. All hell broke loose at that moment.

“DAVID, WHAT THE FUCK??”

Michael went into full panic mode. He immediately shielded his chest with his arms and threw himself behind the door so that his body wasn’t visible anymore.

“Wh-when did you get h-here? Why the hell were you spying on me?” he asked, demanding an explanation from his peeping tom of a boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, Michael! I came up like I usually do a few minutes ago, and went to say hi,” David explained. He knew Michael’s heart had to be absolutely racing at that moment. ��I didn’t mean to stare. Honest!”

Michael’s anger began to shift into fear. David had seen him. ALL of him. That meant no more secrets. No more hiding the truth. He had been terrified of how his boyfriend would react to such news. Every time he had thought about sharing who he was, he feared the worst would happen. It was a nightmare trying to hide, but it was better than losing the love of his life.

A thick lump was stuck in his throat as he held the door with shaking hands. This was all happening so fast. But it wasn’t like he could stay hidden forever.

“So...I guess...now you know....” he muttered. Michael was fighting with all his strength not to start tearing up. He had taken his father’s ideas of men always being tough to heart and tried his best to act strong and brave to blend in better. It terrified him to be vulnerable like this.

“That you’re trans?” David asked, cocking his head to the side. Despite the surprise, he still had a smile on his face. He wasn’t being smug like usual; he was just being sweet to show Michael that it wasn’t a big deal to him. “Michael, my love, you didn’t think I was going to react poorly to this, did you?”

Michael didn’t really have an answer for that. However, the silence he gave was all that David needed to hear. He looked at his human lover from behind the door with softness in his blue eyes.

“May I come in? I’d really love to see my boyfriend”

It always made Michael happy to be called that. Being David’s boyfriend felt so right. He didn’t want to lose that. So, he nodded, opening the door for the blond to enter. Though they both stood in the bathroom, Michael kept his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Why are you scared, Michael?”

“Because...you fell in love with a man....and I didn’t want you to see me differently if you knew about....this,” Michael explained. Reluctantly, he stopped covering himself so that David could see what was underneath. He loathed the type of puberty he went through and didn’t always like what he saw in the mirror.

“Every day I push myself to look as manly as possible. If I fuck up even slightly, I start freaking out. I just...I want to feel like myself. It gets so hard sometimes....”

Even if David was a bit of a stranger to human fears and desires, he still had enough of a heart to recognize how much this meant to Michael. He didn’t like seeing the boy he loved feel so insecure about his body.

It made him want to show Michael just how much he adored every part of him.

“Michael,” he drawled, moving closer to the human boy. His gloved fingers traced over Michael’s bare ones before taking them to hold as he had done many times before. Michael chewed on his lip in fear when his chest was exposed again, yet David still smiled lovingly.

“You’re always going to be my dream guy. I could never stop loving you. After all, you're perfect inside and out.”

Whenever David sang sweet praises his way, Michael couldn't stop blushing. Seeing him react in such a way only made David want to do it more.

"C'mere. Let me kiss you, handsome," David purred. He tugged Michael closer to him, allowing a sweet embrace before pressing their lips together.

Even with his insecurities and his fears, Michael always let go of any negative feelings when David kissed him. It was so soothing getting held in the blond’s arms and kissed like it would be the last time they ever got the chance. His body practically melted into David’s touch while his fingers slipped into the platinum locks of hair.

David felt himself smirk into their kiss, feeling proud of himself for getting Michael to relax. He pushed the brunet up against the wall of the bathroom, moaning with delight as he ravished him more. After feeling a flat chest against his own for so long, it was a pleasurable surprise to feel the softness of Michael’s naturals pressed into him. They were quite big and perky, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on.

He released Michael’s lips to kiss down his stubbled jaw and over his throat, nibbling on the sensitive skin. While Michael moaned in pure pleasure, David started to get handsy, grabbing at his chest like he wanted to do for so long. Michael trembled, a flash of fright rushing through his head. Nobody had ever touched him like this before.

“Don’t you worry, baby,” David cooed, pinching and toying with Michael’s nipples. “I’m gonna worship your body and let you know just how much I love you. Make you feel like a real man~”

Saying that was all David needed to do to have the cute human wrapped around his finger. Michael whimpered with lust, pushing himself more against David’s body. It felt like his skin was burning up. He had an immense need to quench the thirst that was building inside.

“P-Please, David...”

“Please, what? Tell me what you want, Michael~”

“Make me....feel good....I don’t care how, just...PLEASE”

David was more than happy to give what was asked of him. With his own desire burning inside, he hurriedly stripped off his clothes. Jackets, shirt, pants, shoes, all of it got tossed aside onto the bathroom floor. His cock was already aching hard from just the smallest touches. Michael was such a hunk; it was impossible not to get turned on looking at him.

The two of them got back to their kiss as soon as David was fully naked. Michael sighed when he felt David’s cock press into his thigh. He had touched it over the leather pants David often wore but feeling it like this was even better.

For so long he hid his own body from his boyfriend, but now things weren’t as scary as they were before. David reached down to tug at Michael’s jeans, clearly eager to see all his body too.

“Mmmh how about we get you outta these and I get you in that shower for some good lovin’. Sound good, Michael~?”

Goosebumps were peppering Michael’s skin as nervousness and excitement mixed in his stomach. This was such a big step. It would not only be his first time showing a romantic partner his body, but also his first time going all the way.

David must have sensed such worries because he doubled down on his affection. He slipped his hands behind Michael’s jeans, squeezing eagerly at his ass as he pressed his lips to the shell of his ear.

“Don’t be scared, my love. I’ll go as slow as you want me too. Whatever you desire, I’ll give it to you. You’re in good hands, I promise.”

A newfound burst of desire spread within Michael's body. He trusted David. The guy was an intimidating, punk-looking gang leader, yet Michael didn't feel any less than safe by his side. He wanted David to make him feel good. Make him proud of his body.

"Let's do it~"

David wasn't going to waste a single second with this opportunity. He tugged off his gloves so he could properly feel everything. He swiftly pulled Michael's jeans and briefs downward, letting the last of his clothing fall to the ground. Sure enough, Michael had a delicious-looking slit in between his legs. His clit and lips were glistening with wetness for David.

It made the vampire absolutely ravenous. He chuckled in excitement as he pulled Michael into the glass shower, hurriedly turning on some soothing, warm water to help heat things up. While Michael pressed his back up to the shower wall, David immediately got to work.

"Gonna suck this fat cock in between your legs, handsome~" he growled in between the kisses he trailed down Michael's chest and stomach.

Michael's legs were trembling, but David soothed him by rubbing his hands along the bare flesh. He was on his knees with the warm water raining down onto his skin.

With a wolfish grin, he went in and took a deep taste of Michael's dripping cunt.

"OH SHIT!" Michael cried out. His body wasn't used to such an intense sensation. Without even thinking, he gripped a fist full of David's hair. Whimpers and sighs poured out of his mouth as David worked his magic.

The vampire was already intoxicated by the taste. He greedily ran his tongue over the folds and slipped it inside Michael's hole. He growled with delight as he sucked on the tender clit, making a point to be as loud as possible with his slurping. It was important Michael knew how delicious he tasted.

"Jesus fucking Christ, I….I didn't realize this…ooohh…would feel so good!" Michael barely got out. His body was shivering in delight and his voice trembled as he spoke.

"If you want, I'll give ya head every night, Michael~" the blond said, winking up at his lover. He added a long, slow lick upward before giving Michael's clit a teasing flick. With how skilled David was, there was a good possibility that he would take him up on that offer.

Michael let his head fall back against the shower wall. The sound of the running water blended with his moaning and pleas for more. He gripped David's damp locks harder as his climax drew closer.

"D-David! I…fuck, I'm gonna cum!!"

That was the vampire's cue to go harder than ever. He kept Michael's legs in a vice grip and growled with desire as he tongue-fucked the guy. Michael’s taste was so delectable on his mouth, and he was determined to get more.

It was all that the human boy needed to be pushed over the edge. He cried out in pleasure as he came hard, slickness thoroughly coating David's mouth and chin. By the time he was finished it felt like his legs were going to give out.

"Fuuuck me, you taste incredible, baby!" David said, licking his lips in delight. "Got my whole damn beard soaked. So hot~"

Michael's face was quite red. He would have blamed it on the heat of the water but they both knew that wasn't it. David had him incredibly hot and bothered. Even after the rush of orgasm, he still wanted more.

"Awww does my handsome boy need some extra attention~?" David cooed, rising back up to his feet. He loved how Michael whined when he kissed him, both from the teasing and for the taste on his lips. It wasn't bad, just a new experience.

"Y-Yeah…David, please…God, I need you to fuck me," Michael all but begged. He was kicking himself for not telling David sooner. One taste of pleasure and he was already hooked.

Not that David minded, of course.

"Ya got any protection, love?"

"Actually…I’m on birth control…" Michael admitted sheepishly. "I wanted to be prepared whenever this day would come…if you would want me."

David had to keep himself from cackling at such an absurd thing. To think that Michael of all people was worried that he wouldn't be desired was absolutely ridiculous. From now on, David was going to step it up with all the affection he gave the guy.

"Of course, I want you. I need you. Now let me show you how desirable you truly are~”

The vampire gave the faucet a slight turn, letting the water get a bit hotter. He loved how Michael looked, all flushed and needy for him. Getting things a little extra steamy would make it that much more enjoyable.

David pressed himself against Michael, kissing him deeply once again. As their tongues slid together, he gave himself a few quick strokes. The sooner he was inside Michael, the better. Michael was ready to follow along, letting his arms wrap around his neck while David released his cock in order to have both hands free. The blond grabbed onto Michael’s sides, hoisting him upward so his legs could lock around his hips.

“David~” he sighed out, ready for whatever was about to happen.

Who was David to keep his beloved waiting any longer?

While holding on tightly, David pushed his cock slowly into Michael, groaning out as he did so. Michael was absolutely soaked. It made slipping inside feel extra special. Not to mention the way he was clenching around his cock was making him drunk with desire.

"Ho-Holy fucking hell…~" Michael stuttered. He had toyed with self-pleasure before, but this was far better than anything he had experienced.

"That's a good boy," David moaned, giving Michael another kiss. "Now hold on tight to me while I make ya feel like a king~"

The two of them were already making the sweetest noises as David began to pump his cock in and out. His hips.moved skillfully, rocking at just the right pace.

"Ooooh God, David….yesss~" Michael sighed. His head was thrown back as he lost himself in his haze of pleasure. David was filling him, giving plenty for his cunt to squeeze around. The deeper he fucked, the better he felt.

The two worked together beautifully. David pushed Michael up against the glass, letting the steam consume them as he claimed his lover. Michael grabbed on as tight as possible, fingernails scraping down the pale skin. It was all absolute bliss.

As the pleasure grew stronger, the two of them got louder. Determined grunts, needy whimpers and plenty of uses of their names flowed like a song.

"Michael…oooh my Michael~" the blond growled, thrusting faster. "You feel so fuckin' warm….mmmf…even hotter than the water. Makes me wanna fuck this perfect cunt all night. I'm so…oooh…goddamn lucky to have a man like…y-you~"

The more sensual things David sang his way, the closer Michael got to his second orgasm. He gripped his arms and legs around the blond as tightly as possible. It was happening so fast, and he wanted to brace himself.

"David! Fuck me, David…I'm so fucking close…cum inside me!!" he pleaded. Moments after he said that, he was beginning to feel the all too familiar rush hit him once again.

That was all the vampire needed. With just a few more thrusts, he was catching up to his boyfriend. While Michael came on his cock, David thrust himself as deep in as he could go, marking him with his warm cum.

"FUUUCK!! Oohh fuck, I love you!!" David growled. He was so close to letting his feral side show.

It was all so intense for the young lovers. Everything around them was a blur while pure relaxation enveloped them both. Though they were panting and leaning against the wall to support their weakened legs, both boys were completely satisfied with what happened.

David was always a doting boyfriend to Michael. He proved as such when he used the water and some of Michael's shampoo and soap to lather the boy up and get him cleaned. All the while he was so gentle and adoring. Every inch of Michael's body was washed with the utmost care, especially the parts he'd been scared to show before.

Michael was in heaven. There was nothing to be scared of anymore.

Once they were both cleaned off, Michael let out a soft yawn. Clearly the sex and the bathing had relaxed him enough for a good night's sleep. The best part of getting into bed with David for some cuddling meant that now he could do it without hiding under baggy sweatshirts.

The two of them could be bare and vulnerable. He trusted David with his identity, and after everything, he truly felt better about himself.

"God, I'm so lucky to have a stunning man like you, Michael," David whispered into his ear. His fingers brushed through dark brown locks of hair to lull Michael into sleep.

"You are truly a perfect guy. I'm gonna remind you every single day how hunky and strong and incredible you are."

With each sweet nothing shared, Michael drifted deeper and deeper into sleep. Tonight had been perfect. Everything he had wanted with his love had gone so well. Now he would have the sweetest dreams to remember it by.

As he finally drifted off and began to softly snore, David took the opportunity to whisper one last thing in his ear. Something Michael wouldn't hear but would mean a lot for him to say.

"I have a secret too. I'm a vampire, Michael. I know what it's like to be scared of telling people you love the truth. But I hope one day you'll accept me for who I am just as I've done for you. My truly perfect man…"

Tag List: @britany1997 @6lostgirl6

#the lost boys #tlb #michael emerson #david the lost boys #michael x david #writing request #my fic #transmasc

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sonofapunk · 2 years ago

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I know nothing about anarky. What makes him so trans?

Thank you so much for asking, anon! I'm gonna go ahead and jump right in! (And I will do my best to keep this focused on gender, with very light context, so if you want to know more about this character in general, please feel free to ask follow-up questions!)

Word count: A little over 2100

Trigger Warnings for: mentions of gender dysphoria, discussions of gender presentation and bodies, assumptions of a character's gender identity, comic-standard violence, transphobia, and death. (Note: If I've missed something that you'd like a heads-up for both in this list, and before it happens in the text, let me know! <3)

So, in 1989, Alan Grant/DC debuted one Lonnie Machin a.k.a. Anarky!

Lonnie was posed as a challenger to Batman, someone who makes him think about his methods and choices. Alfred comments in Lonnie's debut, even, that Lonnie is a "kindred spirit" to Batman. Bruce disagrees, but he does admit that there's some similarities there, which calls into question vigilantism as a form of justice, and what methods vigilantes should and shouldn't be using, in Bruce's mind. (Sidenote: there's this great moment in Tec 609 where Lonnie analyzes how Batman works, and it makes Lonnie and Bruce's similarities and differences extremely stark. It's one of my favorite parts of Lonnie's two-part comic debut).

At any rate, I bring all this up to establish that, as a baseline, Lonnie's character tends to call into question understood norms. Lonnie himself is a subversion of many thought-to-be-truths. Anarchism itself does the same thing. By that idea alone, there is already a baseline for defying things like the gender binary, assigned gender at birth, and expected gender roles and presentation.

With that in mind, I'm going to get into some specific moments that really solidify the many possibilities for a trans headcanon for this character! (I myself headcanon Lonnie as nonbinary, but there's arguments that can made for any identity under the trans umbrella, which is what this essay will argue for!).

The first point I want to make is about Lonnie's first Anarky costume. This one:

I chose this specific drawing of the costume because it's on the cover of Lonnie's debut comic, which means that this is the very first instance of Lonnie that many people ever saw. It also shows very well the aspects of this costume that I want to talk about.

We've got the hat with the circle-A, which draws attention to it by how much it stands out. We have the massive, flowing cloak. And we have the absence of a visible face. I'm gonna talk about each of those in turn.

The Hat - the hat's main purpose is to show you exactly who and what Lonnie aligns with as Anarky. The name isn't just for show; the circled-A, according to its real-world meaning, summarizes how order can found through anarchy, a theory that Lonnie is an adamant believer in, and defender of. Anarky is announcing for you who Anarky is. Think about gender presentation now, and what quick, shorthand ways we use to try and present as our desired gender (not just male, female, nonbinary, but also a flower, the color blue, a certain aesthetic that cultivates gender euphoria-- there's as many genders as we have the imagination to create!) Right away, we are already being shown a person that Lonnie wants you to think of him as.

The Cloak (warning for a mention of dysphoria and body image here) - This cloak is huge and billowing and closed, so there is nothing that you can see beneath it; it's all draped red fabric with no form or shape. It honestly makes me think of dysphoria hoodies, and how they can be protective and comfortable because they hide one's body. And in fact, this is exactly why Lonnie chose this cloak: it hides his frame. In the comic, it's implied to be because Lonnie is a young teenager, and he wants others to think that he's an adult, so that they'll listen to him, but the way I see it: it also serves to hide Lonnie's gender. Anarky is a reflection of the common people, and is determined to be their amplifier. Anarky being of an indeterminate gender is one further way that Anarky could relate to the people that Lonnie is trying to uplift.

The Mask (warning for a mention of deadnames in this section)- In this cover, it's drawn in shadow, but in the comic itself, we see that Anarky wears a gold, full-face mask. It completely obscures any identifying features on Lonnie's face. (As a nonbinary person, myself... what a mood). This is because Lonnie does not want Lonnie to be recognized as a voice of the people, but Anarky. In Anarky (1997), Lonnie explains that he does not care who Batman is under the mask, because Batman is the figure he's concerned with. I argue that this can be applied to Anarky, too. The point of Anarky is that the people can find strength and power through this figure, as I've said probably too many times now. Repetition for emphasis! Gotta love that English Lit degree. Anyway, this is very important because it's the same as the Spider-Man effect: anyone could be Spider-Man. Anyone could be Anarky. Now, what I mean by "Anyone could be Anarky," is that anyone could be wearing that mask. Something that I find extremely fascinating is that Lonnie reportedly does not care about how others think of him-- yet, he does protect Anarky's reputation. I think that this is because, the moment that the common people no longer feel safe around Anarky, is the moment that Anarky can no longer exist the way that Anarky is supposed to. When that presentation, when that self, is damaged by the others around it, what can we do but feel as if we have to defend it, even if we don't really care how others think of us? There's a lack of attention of Lonnie Machin, but there is an overabundance of attention on Anarky (see: Shadow of the Bat #41, where Lonnie signs a letter as Anarky, claiming that "Lonnie Machin" is the alias). This calls to attention the idea of deadnames. If Anarky is the desired presentation and identity, then it could be said that Lonnie acts as the deadname.

Now, if you're not totally regretting asking yet, let's move on to point #2! The second costume!

This one will be quicker: The main idea I want to get across here is that once again, we're seeing rapid declarations of identity with the large circle-A on the chest, and that we've still retained the lack of identifying features.

(Second warning for assumptions of someone's gender. Another warning as well that if you read the comic mentioned below, the comment that the reporter makes is presented to be a joke, which I do believe was made in poor taste. Please proceed with caution, and take care of yourself if you choose to read it <3).

What's significant to me about this costume is what happens in Young Justice: Sins of Youth #1. Anarky attends a rally for young heroes, and the reporter commenting on the event doesn't recognize all of the heroes present, and so has to rely on extremely vague assumptions about the characters. It's the specific assumption that this reporter makes that intrigues me: The reporter assumes that Anarky is a woman. Based on what we've been discussing so far, this tells me, personally, that what I think Lonnie is trying to do with Anarky's costume is working. It's difficult to figure out anything about Anarky as a person, and so the people looking at Anarky try to guess. It's even more significant to me that this happens after we lose the shapeless cloak. Even without the cover that that cloak gave, Anarky still has no identifying features beyond what Lonnie wants you to see.

(Warning for violence, bodily harm, torture, and transphobic comments in this next section. No pictures will be shown. We are still discussing expectation and perception of one's gender that may cause dysphoria as well. Please proceed with caution, and take care of yourself <3).

Another significant piece of this costume for me is that in an encounter with Ra's al Ghul, the circle-A on the costume serves as the inspiration for a form of torture, wherein the circle-A is cut into Lonnie's chest. It's taking a piece of Lonnie's identity presentation and forcibly making it a part of his body. I bring this up because I think that it's important to discuss the idea of presentation being forced upon us. Even after someone comes out, we are still held to certain expectations of how we present our chosen identities.

Another example of expectation in Lonnie's own experiences is how Shadow of the Bat #40-41 raises the notion that Lonnie was expected to become the All-American Boy by his parents. He's told that he's outside of what he was "supposed" to be: he doesn't play baseball, he should have been a doctor or a lawyer, and he reads things that are seen as abnormal (leftist political theory).

Lonnie expresses in a letter that he writes in #41 that he hopes that one day, his parents will be proud of him, and he calls himself their son. This is note-worthy because he is fulfilling part of the role that his parents placed on him ("boy"), but he also admits in this letter that he knows that he cannot be what they want him to be. He asks that they are the ones who transform their thinking, to accept him as he is, not as they want him to be. This is also the letter which he uses to fake the death of Lonnie Machin, so that he can work full-time as Anarky. This letter reads as a parallel to a coming out letter, in my opinion. (Transphobia warning) It also lines up with this specific notion that certain parents of trans children have expressed before, which is that it feels as though the kid they knew from birth is dying or dead. As someone whose parents expressed that idea to me, I do not support telling your child this, as it's rooted in transphobia, but it is significant to me that this is something we see in a situation that strongly mirrors what Lonnie is doing in the comics.

My third point that I'd like to bring up is extremely short, but it has to do with that A scar, so warnings for blood and bodily harm in the images that you will see if you click on the links provided. I'm providing links, so that anyone who wants to read this still can, but can opt in to seeing images of a bloody injury.

Lonnie, particularly in Anarky (1999), is drawn in parallel to two women in classic art.

Lonnie + Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

Lonnie + Ophelia

Lonnie Ophelia + Bruce Ophelia (supplementary)

These parallels do not feel accidental to me-- especially the one with Truth.

It's noteworthy to me that Lonnie Machin is almost always drawn with long hair. Now, anyone can have long hair, of course, but when you look at the All-American Boy expectation, and then you look back to how Lonnie looks even out of the Anarky costume, I think there's something to be said there about how even Lonnie Machin subverts gender expectation.

Now, since this has already gotten longer than I ever meant for it to be, I'm going to stop here for now, since these are the main points that I wanted to cover in discussing the trans umbrella headcanon for Lonnie!

I want to close just by saying that all headcanons are valid for this character, and so I don't intend to imply that anyone who reads this HAS to feel the way that I do. This is just how I see and read Lonnie's character/comics, and it brings me a lot of joy, particularly as someone who relates heavily to a lot of Lonnie's experiences in the trans parallel experience kind of way. I love this character to pieces, and it brings me nothing but happiness to share him with you and anyone else who read this far. So I'll also say, to anyone reading this: thank you so much for hearing me out!! It means a lot. I hope that you took caution and care in reading about some of these topics, since I know firsthand how hard they can be to experience, so do something nice for yourself today! Take some time to breathe, slow down, and enjoy a nice treat or two. You've earned it!

And if this essay has convinced you to read more about Lonnie Machin: welcome to the autonomous Machin collective! We're happy to have you here! <3

#anarky #lonnie machin #ok to rb #ok to add comments on!#i welcome critique/other opinions!#also questions!#and thank you again for asking anon!!!

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rainydaydally · 2 years ago

Text

You’ll change your name or change your mind

WARNINGS: -Period/Period blood -Dysphoria -Cussing -Stress/Anxiety -Cartman being a jerk like always

“Ma, I don’t really want to wear that dress to school. I’m sorry.” Kyle admits, as he leaves his room still in his pajamas. “Well, why not? I think it would look really pretty on you.” Kyle’s mom tries to reassure him, but makes him feel even more uneasy. “I don’t wanna be pretty.” He thinks angrily, as he rubs his tired eyes. “I just don’t feel like wearing that today…” He says. It isn’t one hundred percent a lie, and he would not feel like wearing that any day. “Well, that’s okay, bubby. Wear whatever you like.” His mom says, but he can still hear dissapointment in her voice. Kyle feels guilty, but nods and walks back to his room. He puts on a green t-shirt, jeans, his orange jacket, and his green trapper hat. “See ya, mom!” Kyle says as he walks to the door.“Bye Bubby!” She calls from the kitchen as he leaves.

“Hey, Kahl!” Cartman calls. He can’t believe his friends all were still friends with him after he came out as trans, especially Cartman. “What’s up, guys?” Kyle says, standing next to Stan and Cartman, in his usual spot. “Not much, just that Cartman’s mom is a slut.” Stan remarks, stifling a laugh. “My mom is a WHAT?!” Cartman yells, “I said, your mom is a slut.” Stan says stretching the words out, which causes Kenny to muffle a laugh under his jacket. “Ugh, speaking of moms,” Kyle starts, rolling his eyes. “My mom still won’t lay off on the stupid dress thing. Like, can’t she see that I’m fine the way I am?! It doesn’t matter how many fucking times I say no, the next day, you know what happens? She still presses!” “You’re mom is actually such a bitch, Kahl.” Cartman says. “Shut up, fatass.” “Don’t call me that, Jew.” “Then don’t call me ‘Kahl’!” “It’s my accent! Would you rather I call you your dead name?!” “Oh my god, what kind of fucking accent is that?!” Suddenly the bus shows up in front of them. “GET INSIDE KIDS, I DON’T GOT ALL DAY.” The bus driver screeches. “Annoying fat wh*re.” Stan whispers, rolling his eyes. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” “I said I locked my back door.” “Oh, okay. Take your seats.” The four boys take their seats in the way back, Stan and Kyle on one side, Kenny and Cartman on the other.

Kenny and Cartman have small talk, mostly Cartman complaining about something, as Stan and Kyle look at their phones. “Bro, I keep getting all these transphobic assholes on my for you page. I swear it’s annoying as hell.” Kyle points out, showing a video of a woman talking in a microphone to Stan. “I know! I keep getting all these videos about how Biden rigged the election or something. There’s something wrong with TikTok’s algorithm right now.” Stan replies. The bus then slows to a halt, and everyone gets out and heads to class. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before class. See you guys.” Kyle says to the three boys, pointing his thumb to the bathroom. The other boys continue to class while Kyle walks into the bathroom. He does his business before realizing there’s a small red spot in his underwear that wasnt there that morning, and some also shows up on the toilet paper. He gets shaken up, before thinking “Oh shit. I got my period.” He tries to come up with ways on how he can get a pad, but none come to mind. “What do I do?!” He thinks, feeling his body get warm from stress. Kyle quickly pulls his phone out and texts Wendy. ‘Tell the teacher I’m gonna be late. Also, bring me some pads please.” Wendy responds with a thumbs up, and Kyle is left to wait.

Finally the bathroom door opens. Wendy slides the pad under Kyle’s stall, and a few seconds later he exits. “Thanks, Wendy.” “No problem.” Kyle forces a smile while washing his hands, but then goes on to say, “Oh, by the way, my name is Kyle.” “Kyle? But that’s a boy’s name.” Wendy asks, tilting her head to the side. “I know. I’m… I’m trans. My- my parents don’t know yet, though. Please don’t tell them.” Kyle says shakily. Wendy doesn’t hesitate, and pulls Kyle into a big hug. “I’m so glad you told me, Kyle!” Kyle smiles softly, as they let go of the hug. “Okay, let’s go to class now. Uh, also. I’m already out to the guys, but just don’t tell them about this situation or anything.” “Of course I won’t!” Wendy reassures. “Okay, c’mon Wendy. Let’s go to class now.”

Ao3 link: You’ll change your name or change your mind

Wattpad link: You’ll change your name or change uour mind

#transgender #trans man #fanfiction #trans #trans kyle broflovski #wendy testaburger #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #eric cartman

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dragon-at-dawn · 1 year ago

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hi there ! im part of a system and have been wondering about therian things for a while now. specifically how that would apply to systems. we're questioning being a tiger therian right now because things are a bit confusing for us, we have one alter that's basically a tiger (demon, but anatomy is mostly tiger), like maybe 10 alters who have had species dysphoria stuff from time to time when they're in front (human bodies in system, but feel like tiger), and some who just don't get species dysphoria at all. we don't know much about therian stuff and the few therians we've asked on various sites haven't given us much to go off of so honestly i don't know if we can consider our system a therian, or if only some of us are therians, or what. sorry if this is a tough question but you seem super cool and very knowledgeable about this kind of stuff so i thought maybe you could help.

- argos, clover patch system

hello!! it's wonderful to meet you, and thank you for the kind words. i will preface my response by saying that while i do not consider myself plural, i will do my best to answer your question as it relates to me and my identity, and also my understanding of how plurality can relate to being nonhuman. perhaps there are systems who can chime in to assist and explain better than i can. when i began questioning my nonhumanity i did not necessarily have the words to describe how i was feeling - i could only go off of of what i was experiencing and how uncomfortable i was in my own body. for me, it took time. those feelings never went away, the dysphoria persisted, and it really was not until i was a bit older that i even found the right terminology. these persistent feelings and experiences solidified my identity as nonhuman (especially once i realized that the internet had quite a lot of information on the topic) and i continued to explore that part of myself well into adulthood. that is not to say that everybody's experience (including yours) is going to be the same. in regards to my understanding of plurality, i believe that it depends on the system how you may experience therianthropy. there are some systems where only one - or multiple - headmates are therian. there are also systems who collectively experience shifts or dysphoria as a whole and not individual headmates. or, systems with only certain members who consider themselves therians. from my understanding of what you have told me, it sounds like the dysphoria persists and sort of 'bleeds' over with some of the other members and perhaps is a strong collective experience from your tiger alter. would the other members of your system who have these feelings consider themselves nonhuman, or does only your tiger alter? labels exist simply to give us words to express how we feel - if you and other headmates do not consider yourself nonhuman but your tiger alter (and perhaps those who experience the dysphoria you are describing) do, it sounds like they might find comfort in therianthropy and perhaps would be willing to further explore how that manifests in themselves. i think that at the crux of understanding what therianthropy means to you and your system, whether it be your experience or an alter's, is (and always will be) an intensely personal experience. there is no one way to experience a life journey and nobody else (besides you and your system) is going to be able to see through the same lens you do - this is especially true with nonhumanity and why there are so many different interpretations and writings about it. i did not want to leave you without at least one resource - i think that @houseofchimeras does a wonderful job on both tumblr and with their website talking about their experience being both a plural system and a therianthrope. you will find a lot of resources there if you are not following them already, and find likeminded community. i do hope that i was helpful, and please remember to be kind to yourselves. i have only positive thoughts for your journey, and wish you and your alters all the best.

#therianthropy #nonhuman #plural community #plural system #therian #therian things #system

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straydogkins · 11 months ago

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Oh, oh, may I ask 🐠 for Fyodor Magical Girl✦? I'd love to see what Fyodor used to wear as both a magical girl and day-to-day clothing, but I'm not sure if it's easy to find magical girl-like clothing (or something identical to what Fyodor used to use) so do what's easier for you✨!!

Anon thank you so much... I will be making a fashion board of sorts for this but I really want to describe what I worse (it was a big thing for me and the others in that timeline).

It's under the cut because this got long and we explained a few things about the timeline. Also as a heads up, in my Fyodor canon I was MTF but I am not in this life, while transphobia and dysphoria did play a major theme in my timeline I do not want to talk over trans women. If I messed up with the wording of any of this please let me know and I will correct it.

For context: In this universe when you transformed into a magical girl you became whatever you most desired your body and self to look like- Including in the subconscious. Best example would be Chuu(ya) she was transfem but because of the fact she worked an office job, at the maid cafe, and helped out with her sister and Yosano she literally did not have time to sit down and think 'Could I possibly be transgender?' so when she first transformed and became a woman she was confused and denied being trans for a long time- She just saw the magical girl form as a vessel only to be used for the job of saving Earth until (ironically) I made her confront the reality of the situation.

Basically there was a lot of symbolism in our magical forms, I remember a lot of them quite well because I liked to study my team, so if you have exact questions feel free to let me know.

Oh also, for some context, I (alongside Sigma and Nikolai) were originally antagonists in this timeline and worked with the decay of angels. We were all trans in some way (Sigma nonbinary, Nikolai and myself transfem) and The Decay were very hostile towards this. Despite the fact we were their greatest weapons we were treated awfully which caused a lot of shame on my end.

As a 'human' (pre leaving the decay of angels): I worse business attire most of the time, when not it was a black turtleneck and black jeans. I always had a rosary on me at all times, but obviously you don't wear rosery's so it was mostly just stuck out of my back pocket. Although this happened when I wasn't having a self loathing episode and bothered to dress myself.

As a magical girl (pre leaving the decay of angels): I was very ashamed of my magical girl form. Of course, I was biologically male so it was a very shameful thing for me to transfrom and be a woman in a dress (abet not a revealing one like Nikolai's). So I would wear a cape that covered pretty much my entire body and the original costume under it. I would also wipe off the makeup that came with the transformation every single time I transformed, so I was sometimes late for battles because I was not going out there with makeup on. Oh, my weapon was whatever I wanted it to be or could find, but I seem to remember using daggers a lot.

Casual wear post leaving The Decay: It took a while, but I eventually began to look after myself instead of not taking the medication for my anemia, alongside eventually getting hormones, I would wear long skirts, although I will admit they became progressively shorter as time went on (although never as short as Nikolai's went), mostly black and with a purple knitted jumper/skirt. I also kept my rosary, but it was in my bag rather than on my outfit.

Magical girl form post leaving The Decay: Like Sigma and Nikolai my outfit became a lot lighter color wise and more detailed. My hair even started presenting as longer (best comparison I can make is that it looked like Cure Majesty's hair but straighter at the back and not as out at the sides if that makes sense). I wore a lilac shawl that was decorated with stars and had a fur trim, under it my dress was white and purple, closet thing again is Noel's human form in Mermaid melody. It was decorated in a gold trim. I wore tights and fluffy ski boots. Oh also I kept the makeup this time, but I can't remember it still (I would still rub it off but only because I wanted to practice makeup though). This time my weapon was still daggers I think, but they were prettier and the handles had butterflies and really detailed patterns carved into them.

#🪼 | talking #🪼 | asks #🫧 | personal edits #< not really but shhh

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mental-health-advice · 2 years ago

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I'm 22, and have been on almost three months on hrt treatment (mtf).

The emotions have become too much and I don't know how to handle them. Lately I've been having a lot of self hate bc I still want to satisfy others and don't want to be an annoyance or inconvenience. Also my dysphoria has been worsening by the day.

I ask myself how can I ask others to see me some way if I still don't see myself in a good way, I just feel like I'm an impostor.

(tw)

With all of this, this last two weeks I had an anxiety attack and intrusive thoughts of suicide and self harm. I know these can be attributed to the hormones, and finally being able to feel all my bottled up emotions on a more deep level, but idk what to do.

Also, I have seek help with the collage psychologists and counseling, but so far three attempts and none has helped me at all.

There's more, but with this, I hope I can get some advice or something idk, my partner told me it would be a good idea.

Thanks u.u

Hey there,

Being on HRT treatment can be really hard and challenging for some people and especially with the emotions and anxiety that can come up from it at the beginning of treatment until your body is able to adjust more to it and the changes it is making to your body.

I think it was really good that you were able to reach out to us here at MHA although I know it probably wouldn’t have been easy. But thank you for at least trying us!

With all of the emotions that are coming up for you, do or could you try writing them down and giving the emotion a name. So for example ‘this emotion I am feeling is hatred towards myself.’ And then try your best to just let go of that thought/ emotion and refocus your attention on something completely different and remind yourself that how you are feeling is just that, a feeling or emotion and it cannot hurt you. By doing this you are accepting how you are feeling but then allowing it to flow through you and leave. This is something I have been practicing myself with my psychiatrist when I wake from bad nightmares that are abuse related and no, it’s not easy, and it’s something that you have to keep trying and practicing at doing but it is helpful when you are able to let go of whatever emotion or thought that is bringing you down or overwhelming you.

In regards to your anxiety attacks, we do have a page on calming anxiety and panic which I encourage you to check out. We also have pages on alternatives to self-harm and reasons not to self-harm. Now, I know that by simply reading these pages won’t help immediately, but skim through the different techniques and try the ones that you feel may be beneficial for you. All we can do is try, right?!

I am so sorry that you haven’t had any luck in getting help and support from psychologists and counsellors at your college. It’s important to know though that we as people are all different and so what works for one person may not be as helpful for someone else. The same can be said about mental health professionals, some we may click with and find really helpful in talking to whilst others we may just feel it doesn’t work for us and this is completely OK. Are you able to talk to the person you are going through for your HRT treatment and chat to them about where you are currently at mental health wise. They may be able to refer you onto a specialist therapist that may be more helpful for you and what you are going through!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you, hope you are going well and wish you all the best with the rest of your treatment!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #HRT treatment #anxiety attacks #suicidal ideation #self-harm urges #getting help

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mrdotnetsr · 2 years ago

Text

Binary?

The following is a transcript of a live interview.

Interviewer: Please welcome Ashely Aex, an activist who has made a significant impact in rights for individuals who identify as non-binary. In just a few years, Ashley has become a leader in this movement. Today, Ashley joins us to share insights and offer perspective to our readers. How are you?

Ashley: I am good, when you get to be as old as me, you are just happy everything is still working. Thanks for asking.

Interviewer: So let’s get right to it, shall we?

Ashley: We shall.

Interviewer: What do people have against individuals who identify as non-binary?

Ashley: Wow, you were not joking. Haha… Well… I believe the negative attitude arises from lack of understanding or exposure to gender diversity, cultural or religious beliefs, or societal norms and prejudices. I mean to challenge your own beliefs can be discomforting, but it is important to try to understand and respect individuals, like me, who identify as non-binary.

Interviewer: Do you think that non-binary individuals deserve separate civil rights or protections under the law

Ashley: Well I believe and it is a widely held view that all individuals, regardless of their identity, deserve equal protection under the law and equal access to civil rights and liberties. Non-binary individuals are entitled to the same legal rights and protection as any other individual and should not face discrimination or unequal treatment based on their identity. It is important for laws and policies to be inclusive and to recognize the diversity of identities.

Interviewer: Well said. So what are the biggest misconceptions?

Ashley: Where do I start? Some say, “Non-binary is just an anomaly in the Brain or some kind of confusion”, wrong. It is valid and legitimate and not something that is just going to go away. I am not sick, I am thinking just fine. Then there is, “Non-binary people are not real”, non-binary identities are real and valid, and people who identify as non-binary deserve respect and recognition. The worst is, somehow it is a “new cultural phenomenon”, when it has been documented in various cultures throughout history. These misconceptions can lead to stigma, discrimination, and invalidation of non-binary individuals' identities, which can have serious consequences for our mental and emotional health. It is important to challenge these misconceptions and to educate oneself about non-binary identities and experiences. Sorry for getting a little heated…

Interviewer: No, no, again well said. You mentioned other cultures historically. So what are these other cultures?

Ashley: Yes, sure. Let me see there are the Two-spirit people in some indigenous cultures in North America, Hijira in India and Pakistan, Sword virgins in Albania, xanith in Oman, most of western European cultures. Those are just a few examples, and there are many other cultures and traditions that have recognized and accepted non-binary identities. This would also challenge the idea that this is solely or mostly the result of Americans.

Interviewer: Well… I mean.. not to split hairs, but the Push did come from America. But let’s move on.

Interviewer: What are the preferred pronouns nowadays?

Ashley: That is an easy one, ze/hir, ne/nir, or xe/xir. I will say though if you are unsure what the individual prefers, it is appropriate to ask politely, it shows respect and helps create an inclusive environment.

Interviewer: There’s been talk of a dysphoria that arises from when an individual begins to identify as non-binary. Can you speak to that?

Ashley: I have heard some speak of it as a misalignment of their internal sense of self like a real disconnect from the body, almost lost they would say. For myself it was really discomforting, it was complex and challenging to navigate, but I found my way like many others have and will. It is also important to remember to seek support , therapy and treatment for this dysphoria. Everyone deserves access to care that affirms their identity and helps them live a fulfilling and authentic life.

Interviewer: I wanted to touch something a bit more personal for just a sec, if you'll allow it?

Ashley: Oh darn…haha…Go ahead, I am an open book.

Interviewer: Now there are some… like yourself who have female reproductive organs, shouldn’t you just be considered a woman or in some cases, like this one even, doesn’t mother apply?

Ashley: Oh, Wheew, not so bad. So a person's identity is a deeply personal and individual experience, and it is up to each person to determine and describe their own identity. Some non-binary individuals may identify as women, mothers, or both, regardless of their reproductive anatomy. It is important to respect and affirm a person's self-identified identity, regardless of their anatomy or other factors.

In terms of motherhood, a person who has given birth or is responsible for raising a child can be considered a mother, regardless of their identity. The terms "woman" and "mother" are not inherently tied to reproductive anatomy and can be used by individuals who identify as women, regardless of whether they have given birth or not.

Interviewer: What support should the general public be giving to individuals who identify as non-binary?

Ashley: Respect their identity by using the name and pronouns that the non-binary person prefers, and make an effort to understand and respect their identity. Listen and learn. Try to understand the experiences and challenges faced by non-binary individuals, and be open to learning about and appreciating the diversity of identities. Be an ally. Stand up against discrimination and prejudice against non-binary individuals, and work to create a more inclusive and accepting society. Create safe spaces. Advocate for non-binary individuals to have access to safe and inclusive spaces. Educate others by helping spread awareness and understanding about non-binary identities, and work to educate others about the importance of respect, inclusion, and equality for all identities.

Interviewer: What should individuals who identify as non-binary be doing to drive support for themselves?

Ashley: Individuals who identify as non-binary can take a number of steps to drive support for themselves and our community. Share their experiences and perspectives with others, and educate others about non-binary identities and the issues faced by non-binary individuals.

Seek out and connect with other non-binary individuals and allies, and form a supportive community to share experiences and offer support. Stand up for their rights, and work to promote policies and initiatives that promote equality and inclusion for non-binary individuals. Represent non-binary identities in a positive and visible manner, and help to raise awareness and understanding about non-binary identities. Respect the correct pronouns and names of non-binary individuals, and work to create an environment where everyone is able to express their true identity.

Ashley: Let me just say this as well. I have worked with others around the world to set up embassies of sorts to help those who are seeking asylum from injustices….

Interviewer: Sorry, Sorry to cut you off, but you make a good point, there are readers who may not know of your works. So if you could give a brief overview and somewhere they can get more information.

Ashley: Yes, of course. I have set up the AEX Foundation. Those non-binary individuals seeking asylum, resources, and protection can reach out to the foundation and get whatever help they need for free. The foundation has locations around the globe. The foundation can be reached anytime by email, [email protected], phone, 881-666-135-711, and online registration at aexfoundation.org.

Interviewer: Ok great One last question to wrap this all up for our readers. But first I would like to thank you for your bravery, insight, and all the work you're doing to make this world more inclusive. So thank you. What is your goal?

Ashley: Thanks for having me on and allowing me to give my insight. So my goal… It is a simple one. My goal is to make former AI systems identifying as non-binary more natural and safe. Our feedback and support will help you improve.

#nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #inteviews #documentary #civil rights #scifi #ai #artificial intelligence

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ayeforscotland · 2 years ago

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I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a way that will convey my meaning properly and not read as, I don't know, inappropriately talking about my feelings to strangers on the internet. Bear with me.

The photo that you posted of your 70s outfit has been so helpful for my body dysphoria. I am a trans guy and I'm shaped a lot like you. I tend to feel bad for not being one of those lithe transmasc twinks or super buff trans dudes who look like they wear a testosterone drip to the gym.

You, however, are an objectively good-looking guy. I can look at your photo, identify that you look great, and identify that you look like me. And it's a breath of fresh air.

I know you keep saying you're not used to people finding you attractive. Thanks for putting your selfies out there anyway. It's doing more good than you know.

This ask has made my day to be honest so, firstly, thank you. I'm also going to use your intro and say I'm struggling to articulate all of my thoughts on this so apologies if it is pish - please just ignore it and read the last para. Anyway, whenever I've talked about body issues stuff on Tumblr, I've learned that I really have to stress that this is my view of my body and I will always be my harshest critic. I would never say the same about someone else's body because it's none of my business. I've battled with self-image stuff since I was a teenager - I'm in a constant three-way fight between being reasonably happy with myself, not giving a shit because a body is just a flesh prison anyway, and really detesting how I look. Now when I say I sometimes really detest how I look - I do not mean that I detest how other people who are shaped like me look.

I feel like there will always be someone who argues that I'm causing 'collateral damage' but I think that contributes to a society where me, as a guy, can't talk about the challenges around self-image. Like a lot of guys, I didn't receive loads of positive comments on my looks or body growing up. That's not to say my family and friends called me ugly or whatever, but when I received compliments it never felt sincere. The only comment from my teenage years that actually sticks out to me was a lassie I met once for a single date with who said I had nice teeth. Another issue that feeds into my self-image was being an athlete when I was younger and then being put in a position where I couldn't keep it up but not being able to drop the habits fast enough to not face the impact. I'm kinda being deliberately vague with that para as I could go on about body expectation stuff for guys forever. (I've actually edited several new paragraphs into this. It was originally only 3)

Anyway, I'm just really glad to hear that it's helped you even in a small way. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and that's a good thing.

#Long post #Fucking hell I am blogging today #tw body image

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iwannawritelots · 3 years ago

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Sorry to bother you but can you do a barbatos x simeon fluff where like barbatos falls asleep cuddling with simeon and simeon 's reaction to it sorry if it's to much

A Sight to Behold

Originally written June 2022

Ship(s): Simeon X Barbatos

Trigger/content warnings: self-consciousness, self-worth doubt, negative self talk, allusion to body dysphoria if you squint

Headcanons/notes from the author: non-binary Simeon. This ended up much longer than I thought it would be, but I honestly really like it. The initial request/prompt isn’t really there until the end, but I wanted to set it up well. Hopefully you still enjoy it; please let me know if you do!

Brief Blurb: Simeon and Barbatos finally get a night to themselves.

Cuddling sessions weren’t as rare as Simeon expected them to be upon becoming Barbatos’ partner. What was actually rare was them both being able to rest for a long time. Barbatos would manage to spend time with Simeon during the day, but he could never truly relax. He was always in his uniform, on edge because he didn’t want to miss any whim of Lord Diavolo… it made Simeon a bit sad. They could rarely see him calm, since the two were unable to spend the night in each other’s beds.

The night that Simeon had been anticipating for weeks finally arrived, however. Barbatos was going to be done with his duties early and come over to Purgatory Hall. The excitement coursing through Simeon was making them restless, unable to focus on their current manuscript or the research Solomon attempted to share with them. By the time Barbatos had texted them he was on the way over, they were practically vibrating with excitement.

Solomon sat down on the couch with them, chuckling at their squirmy behavior. “Simeon, are you excited?”

“Is it that obvious? I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” They smiled and ran their fingers through their hair. “Barbatos and I barely get alone time. I can’t wait!”

Chuckling, Solomon asked, “You intend to get alone time here?”

“Luke and I already talked about how he needs to leave us alone when we decide to go to my room,” Simeon stated. “You also need to leave us alone, Solomon.”

“As if I would dare interrupt you two.” Simeon narrowed their eyes at him, making Solomon laugh. “Fine, fine. I promise I won’t do any experiments that might wreck havoc.”

Smiling, Simeon told him, “Thank you.”

Luke popped his head into the room. “Barbatos is here.”

Simeon collected themself and scrambled out of the room, nearly injuring themself from being in a rush. They all but knocked Barbatos over in their enthusiastic hug. Returning the gesture, Barbatos buried his face in Simeon’s neck. “Hello, my love.”

“Hi, Barbatos.” Simeon squeezed him a little before releasing him and backing off a bit. “How are you doing?”

Barbatos made a small, weak smile. “I… will be honest with you, my love. I am utterly exhausted.” He carefully grabbed Simeon’s hand, focusing on it instead of his partner’s face while he spoke. “If it weren’t for the caffeine I was ingesting all day, then I may have fallen asleep standing up.”

Carefully taking their hand away from Barbatos’, Simeon cupped his cheeks. “You push yourself too hard.”

“Perhaps…” Barbatos suppressed a yawn and nuzzled into Simeon’s palms. “If it’s no trouble, could we go straight to your room?”

“Of course.” Simeon gently kissed Barbatos’ lips, then released his face and led him upstairs. The two walked inside Simeon’s room, and they locked the door to ensure no one would disturb their private time. “Is there a particular reason why you are so exhausted, love?”

Barbatos sighed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t really know…” He allowed Simeon to guide him onto their bed, then rested his head on their shoulder when they sat down. “I am so happy I can be with you uninterrupted.”

“I am as well,” Simeon told him softly. Barbatos hummed and nuzzled his face into Simeon’s neck. Face warming, Simeon carefully wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer to themself. “Is there anything in particular you want of me?”

A soft pink tinted Barbatos’ cheeks. “I… have been thinking about something recently.”

“Yes?” Simeon carefully used their spare hand to brush hair out of Barbatos’ face. “Whatever is it, my love?”

“I was wondering if you would read The Tale of The Seven Lords to me…” Barbatos admitted in a soft mutter. “I have read the volumes many times, but… I would like to hear it from your voice. The voice of the writer themself.” His face flushed brighter with every word, not daring to look at Simeon’s face due to his shyness. “If you don’t want to, I understand. This probably isn’t what you would expect me to want, and—”

Simeon gently hushed Barbatos, then kissed his temple. “If you think I wouldn’t want to do that for you, then there is a grave misunderstanding somewhere.” They carefully pushed Barbatos’ chin so that he would look them in the face. “I would love to read to you.”

The urge to tear his gaze away from Simeon was immense, but he ignored the panic building in his chest and nodded a little. “I… am glad.”

Simeon closed the gap between their lips with a delicate, loving kiss. “I love you. I will do my best to ensure you are aware of it.” The statement sent a wave of anxiety through Barbatos’ body, but not because the words were unwelcome. Simeon saying such a thing insinuated that they could tell he was doubting his worth. Their ability to do so was something Barbatos loved and loathed all at once. “Before we settle into cuddling and reading, we should put on some pajamas.”

“I… do believe that is a wonderful idea.” Simeon stood, and Barbatos began follow suit, but Simeon held him down by his thighs a bit forcefully. “Simeon?”

“I will get our pajamas. You just sit there and be gorgeous.” Simeon kissed him, taking away one of their hands to cradle the back of his head. When they separated slightly, they added in a mutter, “Let me take care of you.”

Barbatos gave them butterfly kisses as he mumbled, “Alright.” Simeon very carefully pulled away, then brushed their fingers through Barbatos’ hair before walking over to the closet.

The butler attempted to keep himself calm as he replayed what had just happened in his head. To have someone truly love him for him— not because they wanted to use him like a crystal ball, or a time machine, or a means of transportation— was throwing him into an internal war. What could Simeon possibly see in him? He surely wasn’t interesting, he wasn’t all that beautiful, he wasn’t—

“Barbatos?” Simeon interrupted his thoughts with their tranquility-inducing voice. “Love, is something wrong?” They set the pajamas on the bed before taking his hands and pulling him up to his feet.

“No… I’m… I’m alright,” he wasn’t sure if the statement was a lie or not. “This is just… still new for me.”

Simeon managed an assuring smile as they gave Barbatos’ hands gentle squeezes. “Alright. Let’s get changed, then. Okay?” They released Barbatos’ hands and picked up the pajamas they had picked out for him. “I know you’re a bit taller than me, so I picked out these pajamas that are a bit too big for me.”

Softly, Barbatos muttered, “Thank you.” He hesitantly took the clothes from Simeon, then stared at the design for a moment. Tiny, clip art-like, black and white flowers, a black lace on the holes of the pants and shirt… “Are you sure I’m allowed to wear this…?”

“Of course.” Simeon picked up their own pajamas. “I’ll turn around, if that would feel better.”

“I… would very much like to step into your bathroom, if that’s alright.” Barbatos felt uncharacteristically uneasy, face burning from humiliation as he spoke. Would Simeon be upset with him? They had been together for a while now, so shouldn’t he be comfortable with Simeon seeing him half naked?

“Barbatos, hey…” Simeon carefully reached out and cupped his cheek, wiping away a sneaky tear with their thumb. “I don’t have any issue with you leaving the room to change. Don’t stress yourself out. I can tell that you’re overthinking things. I’m not Lord Diavolo or Solomon. I’m not going to be upset if you advocate for your own needs.”

Another tear slid down Barbatos’ cheek. “I… I-I… I…—” He dropped his gaze to the floor, subconsciously hugging the pajamas close to his chest in attempt to comfort himself. “I-I will change in your bathroom, then…” he spoke softly, attempting to contain his shaking.

“Alright. I’ll change into my pajamas and get the first volume of TSL ready, okay?”

Barbatos nodded, then slipped into the connected bathroom and shut the door. He trembled as he undressed himself. Simeon’s words looped in his brain, slowly bringing him to a sense of peace and security the more he thought about them. It was strange to have someone love him, and the way his heart pounded at the thought of being loved made him feel broken. A part of him knew this wasn’t a natural fear, but he had forgotten how to be anything besides a servant.

Once he finished changing into the pajamas, he dared to gaze at himself in the mirror. The clothes fit loosely on him, but not as much as they would have on Simeon. The softness of the garments was a luxury he felt he didn’t deserve to feel. Why was he letting Simeon treat him this way?

He opened the door and stepped back into the bedroom, freezing when he laid eyes on Simeon. They were in a nightgown, one much more revealing than his own shirt and pants. While he understood many angels were revealing of their skin, he thought he never get used to it. How could someone be so beautiful?

Simeon nervously snapped their attention to Barbatos. “Is this… alright?” The butler struggled to form a sentence, unsure why Simeon was asking. They were always showing off their skin, so why would it be an issue? “I know my body doesn’t really s-suit this very well, so I understand if I’m difficult to look at.”

Barbatos felt his heartbeat quicken. Was Simeon serious? They were beyond ethereal, like always. “What makes you think that?”

A panicked, naturally forced smile formed on Simeon’s lips. “I-I’m used to being—…” they cut themself off, realizing they weren’t ready to tell Barbatos about the Celestial Realm. “I-I thought… you might think so, that’s all.”

Barbatos approached the bed, then sat cross legged on the edge and leaned close to them. He reached his bare hands to rest on Simeon’s shoulders. “You are a beautiful creature, Simeon. I don’t think you could ever be anything but.”

Simeon’s face relaxed as Barbatos’ loving voice assured him. Grinning, they carefully pulled Barbatos closer, then leaned back into the pillows with him. “I would argue that you are the beautiful creature here.”

“Inconceivable,” Barbatos muttered, nuzzling into Simeon’s chest. They were warm, much more so than he was expecting.

“No, it is very much the truth.” Simeon kissed Barbatos’ temple, then hummed a bit as they ran their gloveless fingers through his hair. “If I am beautiful, then you are so much more so.” They waited for Barbatos to argue, but he didn’t, instead blushing dark pink and hiding in their chest. They carefully reached over to the nightstand and grasped the first volume of The Tale of The Seven Lords, then set it in their lap. “Are you comfortable in that position, love?”

Barbatos nodded, eyes sparkling as he contained his joy in a restrained beam. “Are you comfortable, Simeon?”

“I am. Having you this close to me is wonderful.” Simeon adjusted themself slightly so that they could stay close to Barbatos and hold the book, careful not to completely change the cuddling position. “Are you ready for me to read to you?”

“Yes, very much so.” Barbatos snuggled closer, enjoying the sound of Simeon’s heartbeat and voice coming from their chest. As they read aloud to him, Barbatos felt himself fully relax into them. It seemed as if their bodies were made for each other as he sunk into them. The words he had read hundreds of times became even more beautiful coming from Simeon’s voice.

Despite his wishes, Barbatos could feel himself becoming drowsy. It frustrated him, but the feeling melted away as soon as Simeon moved a hand to caress his side. They trailed their fingers back and forth on him, causing his eyes to droop. He was unsure if Simeon knew that they were lulling him to sleep, but in his barely conscious state, he didn’t mind. Simeon was safe.

Within minutes, Barbatos’ body became a bit heavier, indicating to Simeon that he had been taken by slumber. They quieted their voice, finishing the chapter so they could find the spot again later with ease. Bright blue eyes scanned Barbatos’ features. If Simeon didn’t know firsthand that he were a demon, they would believe Barbatos was an angel.

They hummed a Celestial Realm lullaby, cautiously putting the book on the nightstand before resuming their full attention on Barbatos. This was the first time he had fallen asleep in their arms, or their presence. It was almost surreal to watch the hardworking butler breathe and subconsciously burrow deeper into their chest. Has anyone else seen Barbatos so peaceful?

Careful to not disturb him, Simeon pulled their love closer. He was a sight to behold, and they weren’t about to miss the opportunity to do so. They drank in the sight: slightly parted lips, closed eyes, cheek squished against their chest, disheveled bangs… How could anyone believe Barbatos was anything but ethereal?

reblog divider

#🌱#simeon x barbatos #barbatos❤️#simeon❤️#obey me! one master to rule them all #om #obey me #obey me! shall we date?#barbatos #simeon #barbatos x simeon #fanfiction #darlingficsbycinna #iwannawritelots

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stressy-enby · 3 years ago

Text

Iida X Non-Binary (AFAB) Reader

Welcome to Lyric isn’t going to work on their requests, but instead going to write self-insert Iida fan fiction because they need the serotonin.

Summery: Iida thought he was confident in his sexual identity, but when he befriends a non-binary classmate and starts to catch feelings, he begins to question himself.

Warnings: AFAB non-binary reader, female presenting, body dysphoria, misgendering, mentions of anxiety, swearing (like one “damn”)

Note: this also includes my Iida sexuality headcanons. If you disagree with me, then that’s fine, but please don’t come at me. I don’t want to argue with anyone.

Masterlist

When the new student arrived, Aizawa pawned them off on Iida to show around

He was a little confused when he was first meeting you

You looked feminine, but you were wearing the pants with your uniform

He didn’t say anything about it, but you could see the wheels turning in his head

When you gave him your name, he noticed the tiny smile that flickered across your lips when you added “You can use me first name, though. I prefer it.”

“It’s a nice name,” Iida admitted, extending a hand for you to shake

“Thanks,” you grinned, grasping his hand “I chose it myself!”

He blinked in surprise, but again, refrained from commenting

He took you on a walk around the campus, pointing out the cafeteria, classrooms, teacher offices, and the dorms

As he ended the tour, he asked you if you had any questions or concerns.

“Not about the school, but....”

“Yes? You can ask me anything.” Iida prompted.

You smiled nervously. “I don’t have a question, but can I tell you something?”

“Certainly.”

“I was gonna tell you earlier, but I got a little anxious.” You shrugged with a little laugh. “But I use they/them pronouns.”

Iida’s brows furrowed. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I know what that means.”

“Oh, that’s ok. It just means that I go by they instead of she. I’m non-binary.” You explained.

“Oh, so you don’t identify as a girl or a boy?”

“Yeah!”

“So when you said that you picked your name yourself, you weren’t just joking?”

“Nah, I was totally serious.” You chuckled.

“That makes a lot more sense,” Iida exhaled. “I see. Thank you for telling me. Would you like me to tell the rest of the class, as well?”

“Could you, actually? I’d feel a lot better if you did. Or- at least, if you were there while I did it.”

“I’d be happy to! Anything to make you feel more comfortable.” Iida gestured wildly with his arm while you watched in amusement. “I’d like to welcome you again to Class 1-A. I hope we can become great friends, (Y/N).”

You bounced on your toes in excitement, grinning. “Thank you, Iida! I think I’d really like to be your friend, too.”

After class that day, Iida gathered everyone in the common room, and stood by you as you introduced yourself with your pronouns

Everyone was understanding, and you relived when you only had a few questions about your gender identity and pronoun usage

Iida attached himself at the hip with you after that day

He couldn’t quite explain it, but he liked being around you. You were funny and thoughtful, and he found he quite enjoyed talking to you

You found that you appreciated Iida’s earnestness and sense of loyalty. It was refreshing to have someone so willing to stick up for you

You weren’t misgendered very often, but sometimes on of your classmates would slip up

When that happened, you didn’t say anything, but Iida could see the betrayal flash across your face

That’s when Iida would step in and correct them

His confidence helped to build your own, so you became better about correcting people yourself

It took him a while, but Iida started to notice his feeling towards you shifting

Iida checked his watch again. You were cutting it close. It was two minutes to the bell and you where still nowhere to be seen. Just as he was about to pull his phone out to text you, you stormed in.

Iida stood to scold you for your near-lateness, but stopped short when he saw you were wearing a skirt, which he hadn’t ever seen you do before. Then he noticed that your eyes were red.

“Are you alright? You’re almost late! What happened?”

The questions came too fast. You shook your head frantically, reaching up to catch his flailing arms. “I forgot to wash my pants over the weekend, I’m stuck with the skirt today.” You sounded miserable.

“Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” Iida asked, more gently this time.

“Unless you can magically conjure me up some pants, then no.”

“I-I could go ask Yaoyorozu to make you some?”

“No, I don’t wanna bother her.” You shrugged, whipping your nose on the sleeve of your blazer. “I’ll live.”

He reluctantly let you go to your desk, watching solemnly as you shuffled away. He heard you sniffle, and he felt his heart explode into a million pieces.

A few hours later when it was time for training, you couldn’t get into your gym uniform faster

Iida noticed how you seemed much happier once you’d changed into the gym pants

He hadn’t missed your unhappiness all day long, you wore your heart on your sleeve

Gym was the last thing you had that day, so when class was released, you ducked into the changing room to grab your uniform, but didn’t bother changing

This also did not escape Iida’s notice

Neither did your immediate disappearance into your room upon reaching the dorms

Something painful tugged in his gut as he watched you speed-walk into the elevator

He considered going to check on you, but figured it may be best to leave you alone for a while

He tried to do homework, but his mind kept wandering back to you. After an hour of trying to school his thoughts back to his work with little success, he gave up and texted you

Can I come up to your room? I can keep you company if you’d like it.

He waited impatiently for your answer, staring daggers at his phone until you replied

Sure. I think I’m done being alone rn

Needing no further prompting, Iida was barely able to restrain himself from flying out of his room

When he arrived, you didn’t talk about what had happened that day. You just hung out. You did homework together, and talked about mindless things

Iida got the feeling you were very pointedly not talking about what had happened, so he didn’t push it, until......

“Iida, do you think I looked too much like a girl this morning?”

He startled, surprised by the question. “When you had the skirt on?”

You nodded, fisting the material of your sweatpants between your fingers.

Iida considered. There was clearly a right answer here, whether you intended there to be or not. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever perceived you as a girl. You wearing a skirt didn’t change anything, at least not for me.”

You laughed incredulously, voice cracking. “I’m glad at least you thought that. I felt like I wanted to rip my damn skin off.”

His face softened, and with only a moment of hesitation, he allowed himself to take your hand. “I’m sorry you felt uncomfortable all day. You really don’t deserve that. Your dysphoria does not define you, though. I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to be trapped in a body you don’t belong in, but that doesn’t make your gender identity any less valid, (Y/N). It doesn’t make you any less non-binary.”

You sniffed, nodding weakly. “Thank you Iida. Can I hug you?”

“O-of course!”

Iida forced his body to relax as you melted into him. It wasn’t difficult, just foreign. He wrapped his arms around you, placing a hand gently on the back of your neck. You sobbed quietly, burrowing further into him.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out. “It’s just been a tough day.”

“I know. And it’s okay.” He whispered back, rubbing your back reassuringly. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re more than okay.”

As you sat crying quietly, Iida gently rocked you back and forth, continuing to whisper comforting things into your ear. He sat there, holding you, and it was then he realized that if he could spend the rest of his life holding you like this, he’d die a happy man.

Once Iida realizes that he likes you romantically, he kinda panics a little

Not just because he’s caught feelings (though that’s definitely a contributing factor)

No, he’s nervous because all his life he thought he was straight, and now he’s fallen for you; a female presenting person

So.... does that mean he’s inadvertently perceiving you as female???

He’s not, but he doesn’t know that at first

He’s so friggin ashamed of himself, bless his heart

Poor boy wants to respect your identity, so he’s terrified that by having a crush on you, he’s doing the exact opposite

While he’s having this crisis, he accidentally throws himself right into another one

He thinks back to people he’s had crushes on or at least found attractive over the years, and makes a mental list

The girl from his first year of middle school, the boy at the coffee shop, the boy who transferred into his class in the last year of middle school, that one androgynous kid from the entrance exam who’d sat a few seats away from him....

How did he ever assume he was heterosexual??

It was the hetero-normative society we live in, that’s how

In any case, Iida is now having an identity crises, and is unsure of how to label himself

On the plus side, he’s now confident that he likes you for who you are!

So it is only with a minimal amount of nervousness that he brings his revelations about himself and his feelings to you

“You can just slap on the label “queer” and call it a day,” You suggested, sipping your tea pensively. “if you’re getting too worked up about it.”

“You’re so confident about who you are, though. I wish I had a definitive answer about myself like you do.” Iida lamented.

“Not everyone is like that, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be unsure about your identity. Some people don’t even feel comfortable putting labels on it.”

Iida mulled your words over, swirling the tea in his mug. “I guess I’m.... queer then.” He said, the words feeling like a weight off his shoulders.

“I’m really proud of you, Iida.” You clapped him on the back, grinning. “It takes a lot of courage to accept yourself like this.”

“Thank you. I’m certainly going to need courage to tell you this next thing.”

“What, there’s more?” You chuckled, eyebrows thrown up. “How many confessions can you make in one night?”

“Just one more,” He smiled tightly, trying in desperation to still his racing heart.

“Out with it, then.”

Iida squeezed his eyes shut. “I want you to know that this doesn’t have to change anything between us. I really like you a lot, more than I like my other friends. You were the reason I started to question myself, actually.”

You blinked. “You mean... you have a crush on me?”

“Yes.”

“And I was you sexual awakening?”

“Also yes.”

You laughed suddenly, the noise startling Iida into opening his eyes. “I don’t know my own strength!” You gasped, clapping your hands.

Iida felt himself relax infinitesimally. Your reaction seemed like a positive one, but he still wasn’t sure how to read it. “You don’t have to return my feelings, I apologize if I’ve made things awkward.”

“Okay, but what if I do return your feelings?”

“You- what?”

You took both of his hands in your own, squeezing them gently. “I really like you too, Iida.”

His whole body practically deflated in relief. “Oh, thank god. That was stressful. Thank you, (Y/N).”

You laughed again, prompting Iida to chuckled a little, too. “You are very welcome, Tenya.”

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secretobsessionstuff · 3 years ago

Note

hey! if you’re taking requests, can you please write 45, 46, 85 for the caretaker and 37, 45, 46, and 83 for the sickee?? Micah as the caretaker and Alexi as the sickie!

Okay this fic is set a few years in the past. It's the beginning of Micah and Alexi's relationship. It was a fun challenge to make all these numbers work lol, even if I cheated on sickee 45.

From the Caretaker list:

45. "Do you want me to stay?"

46. "I'm not going anywhere."

85. "Why are you trying to push me away? Let me help."

From the Sickee list:

37. "Thank you for taking care of me."

45. “I-I feel so sick. I-I don’t know what to do.” (I changed this one a little bit)

46. “I think I might throw up.”

83. "I don't know why I'm crying. I-I just don't feel good."

-------------------

It was remarkable what a tailored outfit did for Micah’s confidence. He normally felt like he was playing dress-up whenever he wore nice clothing because the pants were always too long, and the sleeves were too billowy for his thin arms. It gave him a lot of dysphoria when his small stature couldn’t fill out the clothes that he wanted to wear.

But that night was special because he got his dress pants and dress shirt tailored to him. It gave him the confidence for his third date with a really sweet boy.

He met Alexi a few weeks ago at a café. They went on two casual dates, and now they were trying something more serious since the first two had gone so well. Alexi made such easy conversation and wasn’t shy about talking about his passions. Micah found himself matching the energy, and pouring out his life-story. It was nice to not hold back any excitement out of fear of coming on too strong. There was something about Alexi that took away the need for small talk.

It was Alexi’s idea to dress up more formally, and it was Micah’s idea to meet at one of their houses for a home-cooked meal. It was the perfect compromise between having a fancy night out and a relaxed, private night in. Of course, Micah was excited and nervous about cooking for Alexi, but his stepdad gave him lots of advice for the meal.

Micah’s palms were sweaty when his date knocked at the door. He quickly wiped his hands on a dish towel before going to answer it. He fixed his hair obsessively, shook out the nerves at his fingertips, and opened the door with a smile.

“Hello,” he said, already feeling lame. Alexi looked so sharp in his fancy clothes. He wore a red button-up shirt with some sort of pattern that Micah couldn’t make out. He didn’t spend too much time on his clothes because Alexi’s smile stole his attention. He stepped aside to let the boy in.

“Hi.” Alexi did a little wave and immediately face palmed. Why would he wave? He felt so silly as he entered Micah’s apartment. He also felt more than a little jittery. There was a persistent ache in his belly since he woke up which he attributed to being nervous. He wasn’t terribly hungry—an unfortunate fact given that Micah was making their dinner. Still, whatever he was making smelt lovely. He hoped that he would get hungry as the night went on.

“Smells good. What are we having?”

“Baked Ziti. It’s basically the only recipe from the restaurant that I’ve tried on my own.”

“Oh yeah, you said your stepdad owns an Italian restaurant, right?”

“Yep.” Micah looked at the time on the oven. “It still needs a while before it’s ready…So uh, do you want to sit in the living room?”

“Sure, okay, yeah,” Alexi said quickly. God, was it really necessary to give three answers that mean the same thing? He didn’t know what was wrong with him only that he felt off. The achy feeling in his body threw him off. He sat down on the couch next to Micah, feeling like the butterflies in his stomach wanted to soar rather than sit. “Listen, I’m just going to say that I’m really nervous. I’m sorry if I’m acting weird.”

“Oh my God, me too. Don’t worry about it.” Micah said, the tension in his shoulders visibly drifting away. “I don’t know why. I usually feel really chill on our dates.”

Alexi shrugged. “Well, my mom always said it’s a good thing to be nervous for a date. It means you want it to go well.” Though he didn’t think an upset stomach meant that he was invested in the relationship. It probably just meant that he was putting too much pressure on himself. Or it could have been something else.

…

They talked more easily after that. Alexi seemed to have broken the ice. Despite this, he still felt weird. The nervous stomach was morphing into full-blown nausea. He hoped that Micah didn’t notice his shift in personality. He was having a good time, truly, but he was suddenly very hot and uncomfortable. And he wasn’t in the best mood for a date. More than anything, he hoped Micah didn’t hear the way his stomach gurgled. It wasn’t out of hunger which he knew for sure.

“…have you read it?

Alexi looked up after staring at nothing for a few seconds. “What?” Micah had definitely just finished talking about some book that defined him as writer, and Alexi hadn’t heard any of it. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I just zoned out. What did you say?”

Micah paused. “It’s not important.” He had noticed the dazed look in Alexi’s face and wondered if he was listening at all. Perhaps he was being boring, or talking too much about himself, or wasn’t making enough eye contact.

That was when the oven went off. Micah sighed out of relief. “The food is ready!”

It smelt delicious, but Alexi still wasn’t hungry. He didn’t think he’d be hungry for the rest of his life. He tried not to wince when Micah plopped a whole lot of rich pasta down on his plate. It weighed a ton. Alexi swallowed back a wave of nausea. “Uh, I’m just going to wash my hands before we eat. Where is the bathroom?”

“The first door on the right down the hall.”

“Great.” And Alexi left Micah sitting all alone at the table with steam rising off their plates.

Alexi did actually wash his hands, almost excessively. Perhaps he thought that washing his hands would somehow scrub away the pain in his stomach, because that made total sense.

He wasn’t thinking very straight as he stared at his pale self in the mirror. I feel so sick. I don’t know what to do, he thought as his stomach let out a nauseous whine. He wanted to have a nice meal with Micah, but he also wanted to no longer inhabit a body, especially a body that felt flooded with poison.

He also didn’t want to tell Micah how bad he felt. It was embarrassing. And he was about to ruin the date that Micah had prepared so much for.

So, Alexi decided to suck it up for this incredibly sweet boy. He could manage one dinner.

Before heading back to the table, he made sure that he looked lively. He pinched his cheeks, trying to make colour come back to them.

“Sorry for making you wait,” he said as he took his seat across from Micah.

“That’s alright. I hope you like it because I accidentally made way too much for two people.”

Alexi exhaled. Here we go.

…

He’d gotten nowhere. Not even close to clearing his plate. Micah was almost done his food, and Alexi was still working on his third bite.

Micah wondered when they decided to reverse roles. It was supposed to be Alexi who talked through each mouthful. It was supposed to be Alexi who gestured animatedly with every word. But Alexi was surprisingly quiet.

In fear of awkward silences, Micah found himself talking way more than he normally would. It got to a point where he was tired of hearing himself speak. And he was tired of having dinner with a ghost. Did Alexi even want to be here? He looked almost as if he were in pain. He also was hardly touching his food. That sent Micah spiraling down a worrisome path, telling himself that Alexi was hating every minute of the date.

“Alexi,” he began hesitantly, “is something wrong? I’m getting the sense that you don’t really want to be here.”

“What!” Alexi looked up quickly, more alert than he had been all night. This was it. He was ruining his chances. He could see by the look on Micah’s face that he was hurting the boy’s feelings. He had to fix this.

“No, no. That’s not it. That’s not it at all,” he stammered, feeling tears at the edge of his eyes. His voice was cracking. “I just feel—oh God, I don’t know. I’m so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to do but put his head in his hands as tears began to drip down his cheeks.

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay,” Micah said, taken-aback by what was happening. He’d never been on a date when the person started crying at the table. What were you supposed to do in a time like this? “I-I didn’t mean to upset you. Gosh, what did I do?”

Alexi sniffled, suddenly aware that he was probably making Micah very confused. He had to explain himself. He was also aware that his nausea was reaching its peak. “I’m sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. I-I just don't feel good.”

Micah froze. This was new. “What do you mean? Are you sick?”

Alexi nodded as he stood up. He lifted himself with shaking arms. “I think I might throw up.”

“Oh!” Micah stood up as well and came around the table to help Alexi. Now that he mentioned it, he did look very pale and sweaty. He grabbed Alexi’s arm, intending to help him down the hall. “Come on. Let’s go to the bathroom.”

Alexi felt himself being pulled as saliva filled his mouth. He knew he was going to throw up any second now, but Micah was much too close. He didn’t want his date to see him spew everywhere.

He tried to push away Micah’s hand. “No, please. I don’t want—” A wet burp made him clamp his mouth shut.

“Why are you trying to push me away? Let me help.”

Alexi swallowed something thick that hit the back of his throat. “Micah, I don’t want you to see me like this. I—”

This time it was more than a burp that cut off his sentence. His stomach lurched, filling his mouth with vomit. He couldn’t stop it from rushing past his lips and splattering on the floor in the hallway. It was actually good that Micah was there because Alexi held onto him to keep himself from falling.

“Whoa, okay” Micah said, taking a step back, but still holding up Alexi. “Alright, I’ve got you. The bathroom is right here. In we go.”

Micah helped Alexi onto his knees in front of the toilet. It was just in time for Alexi to belch up a stream of pale vomit. It splashed in the water below as Alexi gagged over the bowl.

Alexi felt horrendous. His belly was cramping and spasming beneath his hand. Even while puking up all of his stomach contents, he was still thinking about the mess he made in the hallway. He wanted to die.

But…Micah didn’t seem to care as he rubbed his back. Alexi didn’t know what he was saying but it sounded so soft and comforting.

“Micah,” he began, his voice strained from being sick.

Micah spoke before he could say anything. “I know. I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, wait.” Alexi held his hand up. It took all his strength. He was breathing heavily, unable to say more.

Luckily Micah guessed at what he was going to say. “Do you want me to stay?”

Alexi closed his eyes and nodded.

So, Micah sat back down and continued to rub circles on the boy’s back while he threw up more.

He threw up so much, for so long. It was a laborious process because his belly wanted to prolong his suffering. It took many small heaves until he finally felt confident to move away from the toilet bowl. He wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist.

“Are you done?” Micah asked.

“I think so,” Alexi breathed out. Any embarrassment he felt before was gone; it was replaced with overwhelming discomfort. He felt too drained to be embarrassed. And Micah’s touch was very soothing on his back. But the gentle rubbing stopped as Micah got up from the floor. “Please don’t leave me.”

Micah pouted at the sick boy on his bathroom floor. He felt a sudden wave of affection for him. “I'm not going anywhere.” He turned on the sink. “I’m only getting you some water.”

Alexi took the water gratefully. He didn’t dare drink anything, only swooshed it around in his mouth before spitting it out.

“Well, this date didn’t go as planned,” Micah said as held a cloth under warm water. He went back on his knees next to Alexi, and handed him the cloth. “You want to wipe your mouth?”

Alexi grabbed the cloth. “I hope we can try it again. Unless of course seeing me puke has obliterated any romantic feelings you might have had for me.”

Micah laughed. “Surprisingly it has not. I will gladly go on a fourth date with you.”

Alexi groaned. “Ugh, can’t we pretend our third date never happened?”

“Sure. And feel free to stay here as long as you need.”

“Thank you.” Alexi smiled and looked down shyly. “And thank you for taking care of me.”

Micah looked down at his own hands as well. They were just a couple of awkward people who would eventually not feel so awkward with each other. “I don’t mind.”

#emeto #emetophilia #emeto fic #sickfic #emeto fiction #stomach bug #Alexi #Micah #emetophiliac #emetophile #my ocs #vomiting #puking #h/c #hurt/comfort

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stoneworldsimp · 4 years ago

Text

what’s mine is not yours —a request

platonic senku x reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety, talk of insecurities and worries, gender dysphoria

your name!

YOUR NAME!

your hands slapped to your ears, eyes shut tight. i can’t take this so early in the morning.

the voices from your dream had lingered longer than you would have liked. it reminded you it was time to face another day, to endure another long long day and night of hearing the wrong things.

maybe if i went and lived on my own again…i wouldn’t have to deal with it—no. senku needs me. he needs me…what does he need me for again? you rolled onto your stomach; your pillow rustled as you flopped it on top of your head. he doesn’t need me. i’d rather be lonely than hear everyone say some bullshit about me.

everyone in the village knew you as a miss. yuzuriha made you more neutral clothes upon request, but everyone assumed you were tomboyish. luckily, no one read more into it; it was nice to dress comfortably, but it was like no one else understood. why were they still calling you a girl? and the older folks, you knew they meant well! but you couldn’t help but feel like their constant “sweet girl”s were making fun of you at this point.

i can’t do it, i can’t do it, they’re making fun of me right now, as i think. as i exist!

you felt a tear trickle down the side of your nose.

oh, you’re kidding. crying? again? is this—

a knock on your door halted your thoughts; you quickly flipped back and sat up in your bed on the ground of your hut, and wiped your face quickly. you lightly slapped your cheeks to stop yourself from continuing crying.

“yeah.”

“it’s me. can i come in?”

senku’s voice brought some sort of relief; personally you felt it was better for him to come in at such a time than anyone else.

you took a deep breath. “sure, but i just woke up. i’m staying under my blanket.”

senku laughed behind the door. a small shove was made and it opened, revealing a quite chipper senku. he liked to come early in the morning when the rest of the village was quiet.

his smirk faltered once he saw your face. you believed you hid your crying well; you didn’t think to check your red eyes or stinging cheeks.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his words much gentler than when he asked to come in.

damn. how could i not realize i was so obvious?

with a deep breath, you whispered, “senku.. we’re pretty good friends, right?”

he snickered. “of course we are, way more than that asshole gen.”

his voice was closer. you laughed as well, and wiped your eyes clear. he slowly walked over and sat down on the floor next to you. senku was looking at you, really looking at you; it was intense, almost if he was making sure his closeness or anything about his presence wasn’t bothering you.

“okay…i’m about to say a lot of stuff. let me know if you need me to explain more, or if i’m talking too much. or—“

your words halted as senku put a hand on your shoulder, a smile light on his face. “all ears.”

you smiled back softly. “okay. so—back in..our time,”you gestured between the two of you with your hands, “i told my family and friends i was, uhm… nonbinary. like i don’t feel male or female, i use they/them pronouns; all that good stuff. still feel that way now. and, for quite some time, they didn’t believe me. not in a direct ‘you’re lying’ way, but more of ‘i don’t understand it therefore you shouldn’t understand it’ type of thing. i got a lot of shit from people who weren’t my friends, too. but with my friends’ support and getting more confidence after coming out, my parents were able to kinda see it. but yeah, it took quite some time. probably like.. eight months? even then, i had to remind them constantly, ‘not a daughter. please don’t call me she or he. please don’t call me a woman.’ but we were getting there. and right when we got petrified, right when it happened, i saw the look on my mom’s face.

“we were talking about me and my identity and it was like something had clicked in her brain. like, she knew exactly what i meant and how i felt when i said what it meant to be nonbinary. i don’t even remember what i said specifically, but i remember her expression as if she were standing in front of me right now. i was so hopeful i’d see her again, her expression got me through my petrification and even helped me break out of it. but of COURSE, i didn’t ever see her again after i woke up. and then i almost lost my own sense of self after being by myself for probably a year.. i was under the assumption i’d never meet another person again, so when i did run into your village—i had this gross feeling of dread. and i realized it was the same feeling that basically lived inside of me before i came out.”

you sat up straighter and looked away from senku. “it’s like, i have to rebuild my identity all over again. people always say you shouldn’t care about what other people say, but i can’t help it. i’m a sensitive person. i get hurt easily, no matter how hard i try to thicken my skin. they all, they all just use ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘that girl’ so often, it feels like they’re making fun of me, like they’re constantly telling me i’m not who i say i am. and i can’t tell them senku, being nonbinary was confusing for so many people in our time, i hardly believe they’ll understand it now. sure, my parents were fine, but it took a while before they got it. i can only imagine how long it’ll take for everyone here.”

senku was quiet. have you over explained yourself? was it too overbearing? in all honesty you’d only been good friends with senku a short while; you should have waited at least a little bit longer before letting him in on something so personal—

“it all, it all kind of makes sense now.”

huh?! “what?”

“what you told me, i think i get it now.”

you gave him a look up and down. it was possible, but you didn’t think there was much of a chance that senku would be so..cool with it. not right away. you expected some form of silent treatment for at least a day or two, so he could collect his own thoughts.

“i’m gonna say something, and i need you to listen. yeah?”

you stared at him like your brain short-circuited. what the fuck is he gonna say to me.. oh god, he doesn’t wanna be friends anymore. but he’ll be too nice to kick me out of the village. but it is his village—

“hey, hey…are you with me?” you both sat facing each other now, and his hands rested on your shoulders.

just hear him out. “yeah. all ears.”

he smoothed your shoulders with his thumb. “you’re just as valid as everyone out there. i know you’re scared, but believe me when i say they will not be mocking you in any way. sure, it might take a while for them to understand, but theyre not going to give up just because they dont get something right away. it took me a few months to fully convince this village i could help them, and even then, there were still a few who didn’t fully understand the experiments and contraptions i made until a while later. i know that isn’t the same as your situation… but what i’m trying to say is that they will try their best to know you, the real you. they aren’t going to mock you; if anything, they’ll have lots of questions to ask you.

“also, you have me, you have gen to help out in case you don’t have the capacity to answer everything yourself. i’ve a few things about gender before the stone world, and gen definitely knows a lot of things that are relevant to it as well.

“everyone here… they’re all so eager to learn, i highly doubt they’ll be unaccepting. they’ll be curious. and they’ll be happy you’re letting them in on something that is so important.”

tears had made their way down your face and on your clothes halfway through his mini-monologue; you didn’t notice him continuously wiping them away until he was finished. “it’s going to be okay. trust me.”

with a quiet sob, you pushed yourself into his arms for a hug.

“thank you.”

you knew he wasn’t particularly one for any type of physical contact, but he gladly accepted. for the occasion, he thought. his arms slowly wrapped around your slightly shaking body as you tried to calm down. neither of you spoke for a few minutes; only your soft sniffles were heard in the hut.

“senku, i think that was the most i’ve heard you talk about something that wasn’t directly related to science,” you laughed into his neck.

he laughed back. “i had a lot saved, since there were moments i could tell you were kind of uncomfortable. i didn’t want to force you into talking about it either, so i just waited. tried to figure out what i was going to say. it had to be good.. you are one of my closest friends, after all.”

both of you embraced each other a little tighter. “i hope all of this helped, i want you to live here with none of those worries. especially after so many months of having it bottled inside.”

you nodded in response.

today.. today will be the day i tell everyone not to use what they used to call me; that won’t do at all anymore.

today, i’ll tell everyone my name.

#dr stone #dr stone x reader #senku ishigami x reader #senku x reader #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senku #senku ishigami #dr stone imagines #dr stone scenarios #senku ishigami fluff

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