#also this reminds me that i’ve never talked about my personal thoughts on the stan twins’ and caryn’s relationship

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

stan: hey, donut puncher, what time would you like to start tomorrow?

ford: twelve lee

ford: also don’t ever call me donut puncher again

ford: i will fucking kill you

ford: i will fucking kill you

ford: i will fucking murder your face, fuck you

stan: oka-

ford: ma called me a donut puncher. you know what i did?

ford: i fucking killed her

ford: i fucking killed her

ford: i fucking murdered her face, fuck her

stan, laughing: cool, see you at twelve

ford: see you tomorrow :D

[jjenthusee]

A Part Of The Family

Roy Harper and Lian Harper Drabble!!! (feat. Jason Todd and Dick Grayson)

A/N: if you’ve kept up with me, you might have noticed that I’ve started to stan Roy YAY 😫 it was a crazy deep dive and I got attached to his character lol one of the main reasons i wanted to write for him was because of his Native American/Indigenous upbringing. I was shocked when I found out because (i don’t normally try to share too much about myself cause this is a public space) but i’m indigenous too ✨😌✨ i have to rep my people for Native American Heritage Month *confetti* but i thought i would have to share this to give context on how i plan to write and explore Roy’s character. At least from my research (sorry if this is wrong) but he did grow up on the reservation in some of the backstories and it’s not explored very much :( it explains his tattoo, knowing the language, and frankly, a lot of native rep is kinda bad, but i thought leaving out a major part of his childhood didn’t help reflect who he was. As someone who has experience and lives as a member of the tribe it’s based on, I wanted to share some silly thoughts :) ofc remember all people with cultural backgrounds have different experiences so read this or don’t but i’ll see how this turns out so ENJOY 💐 and comment, like, reblog

Summary: Roy shares a part of his past with Jason and now he’s determined to share an important moment of Lian’s life.

Word Count: 1.2k

“I don’t think she’s going to budge anytime soon.” Roy rested himself on the couch, overlooking his best friend and daughter. They were both on the floor, a soft blanket laid for Lian’s designated tummy time.

Lian blankly watched Jason hold toys, making noises as she followed the sounds, glancing up to look at his excited face as he talked to her.

“Don’t listen to him, Lian. Just over three months of life and we are already best friends.” Jason’s words kept Lian’s attention.

She would give the tiniest smile in return. No laughter yet, but she expressed her enjoyment of Jason’s presence, nonetheless.

Roy was grinning watching the two, a much clearer expression, but remarkably like Lian’s smile. He had been lacking some sleep, but Jason’s frequent visits were helping him get a couple extra minutes of rest.

To Roy’s surprise, Jason had been over almost everyday this week.

The company was fine, better even according to Roy, but he didn’t mean for this to happen. It had been a small slip, a tiny mistake, just a sleepy mumble of his brain when he watched Jason clumsily hold Lian for the first time.

Roy corrected Jason’s hands to be comfortable for him and Lian. In the movement, he had unconsciously spoken.

“This reminds me of way back, when there was a new baby in the community, all the kids would crowd around trying to make funny faces, trying to make the baby laugh.” Roy lulled along to Jason’s slight sway, more confident in holding Lian in his arms. “Then we would hear all the elders yell out to us that we would have to cook if we got the baby to laugh.”

Roy chuckled to himself, remembering the days back on the reservation, feeling the hot sun on his skin.

Jason set his gaze on Roy, never moving his head away from Lian’s tiny body, but focused on the man’s sudden reminiscent tone.

It wasn’t often that Roy mentioned the past, he didn’t discourage it directly, but he also didn’t freely talk about it either.

So, Jason took a chance.

“Cook?” Jason harmlessly questioned, smoothing out the tiny hairs on Lian’s forehead as she stared at his face again.

“Well, it’s a big deal when a baby laughs for the first time. We celebrate and it’s planned by the person who makes the baby laugh.” Roy got up from his spot once he heard the washer finish. “Almost costed my entire savings when one of my friends and I tripped trying to run to the baby first, luckily all we got was a big sneeze.”

Roy threw the damp clothes into the dryer, chuckling to himself.

“I wonder when Lian’s going to laugh.” Roy smiled at the thought. “I hope it’s soon. Wouldn’t mind a lil’ party.”

Roy should have been careful about his words that afternoon.

Now Jason felt determined to be the first person to make Lian laugh.

At this rate, Roy wouldn’t be surprised if he already had the decorations planned out and stashed away somewhere.

It was nice to have company. Roy had usually expected Jason to be there next to Lian, giving laidback greetings.

Then there was another Bat sitting before his daughter.

Dick had unknowingly found out about Jason’s frequent visits and Jason was very pissed about it. Despite his very noticeable apprehension to Dick’s presence, he bit his tongue in favor of Lian finding the new addition intriguing.

Too intriguing. Uncomfortably intriguing and an annoyance to Jason.

“Fu—Get lost, Dickface.” Jason spoke with slight venom in his voice, but it quickly disappeared as he held out his fingers to Lian’s tiny hands.

“But Lian wants me here. Isn’t that right, Lian?” Dick cooed, a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. Making noises to get her attention.

“Don’t you have other red heads to bother?” Jason scooted closer to Lian, trying to nudge Dick away.

“You’ve been here five days in a row and you expect me to ignore that?” Dick stood up to make faces at Lian from above Jason’s head.

“A man can’t visit a friend?” Jason stood up blocking Dick.

“Then I’m visiting a friend too.” Dick maneuvered his way to Lian’s side in her bouncer.

“Just fucking leave—“ Jason threw Lian’s rattle at the back of Dick’s head.

The tiny sounds bounced off Dick’s back as it collided to his feet.

There was a brief moment of silence before Dick slowly looked back at Jason. A smile was on his face, but the vein in his head was bulging slowly.

“Dinner’s ready—“ Roy called out, making eye contact with the two men wrestling with a baby blanket as Jason tried to somehow twist the fabric to trap his brother.

Dick on the other hand was flexible enough to lessen the hold and pushed the side of Jason’s face with his free hand.

They murmured insults back and forth as calmly as they could, but the strained smiles on their faces couldn’t mask their current wrestling match.

“Stop pushing me—“ Jason grumbled.

“Then stop twisting my arm—“ Dick pressed back.

“Hehehe.”

Three necks snapped to the quiet sound from the ground, almost lost in the commotion, but there was little Lian.

She laid on her back in her bouncer, completely enamored by the noise and movements around her.

She made small movements in her arms in her excitement, a wide gummy smile on her face.

“I made her laugh.” Jason smiled confidently while tightening the baby blanket around his brother.

“I made her laugh.” Dick challenged, trying to kick back.

Roy walked around the two men to pick up Lian, cuddling her in his arms, and unbelievably happy to witness the delightful sounds from his daughter for the first time.

“Nuh uh, Dickwad, it’s my party.” Jason threatened.

“Jaybird, she was looking at me too! Wait, what party?” Dick finally asked.

“Why are you even here?!” Jason groaned.

Roy couldn’t even focus on the two bickering behind him, he was busy kissing the side of his daughter's head.

He tenderly kept her in his arms, seeing her gaze back up at him.

His smile was met with a smaller copy of his own.

Roy had seen and heard of the A’wee Chi’deedloh, the First Laugh Ceremony, in his time living on the reservation. As a kid, it was just a time for him to eat and play with his friends, but it also welcomed a new family member.

He remembers one of the elder women talking to him as a young boy who stood watching from the distance.

“We welcome the baby into our present world from the Spirit World, it’s a time that we share with everyone. It’s the first sign of a baby showing us they want to be a part of the family, to show and give love.” Roy heard the elder talk to him. “Don’t forget to eat and get salt from the baby, it’s their offering to us, to encourage them to be generous as they grow.”

At the time, Roy was involving himself more with the tribe, asking questions and participating. He remembers the look on the baby’s face as he received salt and a bag of goods.

He remembered how content he felt that day eating his sweets and now he would finally experience the perspective of a parent helping their child in the ceremony.

“Welcome, she’awéé’, my Lian.” Roy affectionately whispered to his daughter. “I’m happy you want to be here.”

—

Translations:

She’awéé’ — my baby

A’wee Chi’deedloh — First Laugh Ceremony

Roy Tag List: (temporary) @soysaurus @janybabyy @simpingforheros

[daydreamerdrew]

Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

Captain America (1968) #110-120

These issues were published across November 1968 to September 1969. Issues #110-111 and #113 were plotted by Jim Steranko and scripted by Stan Lee, and issues #112 and #114-120 were written by Stan Lee. Issues #110-111 and #113 were penciled (and colored) by Jim Steranko, with issues #110-111 being inked by Joe Sinnott and issue #113 being inked by Jim Steranko and Tom Palmer. Issue #112 was penciled by Jack Kirby and inked by George Tuska. Issue #114 was penciled by John Romita and inked by Sal Buscema. Issue #215 was penciled by John Buscema and inked by Sal Buscema. And issues #116-120 were penciled by Gene Colan and inked by Joe Sinnott, except that John Romita drew the last 2 panels of issue #120. All of the issues were 20 pages.

This was my first time reading any comics with Jim Steranko’s art, and I thought his issues was great. I did notice that his art worked better in the issues I read that were paper scans and not digital editions. Most everyone else’s art was just ok in comparison, but I also enjoyed Gene Colan’s issues. I’m previously familiar with him for his run drawing Iron Man in Tales of Suspense (1959), and, from decades later, for drawing DC’s Night Force (1982) and Nathanial Dusk (1984), and then the WWII-set story of Captain America (1968) #601.

Issue #110 is the first appearance of Madame Hydra, a villain I’m previously familiar with from the A:EMH cartoon.

In issue #111, after Rick’s kidnapped, Steve thinks, “And it’s all my fault! I should never have given up my secret identity! I’ve made it too easy for my enemies to find me… to attack me!” At the end of his issue, Steve fakes his death. “His helmet… his shirt… all riddled with holes” are found by the police, as well as a mask with “the features of… Steve Rogers!” The conclusion is made, “Steve Rogers was a false identity!”

In issue #112, as Tony is reacting to the news of Steve’s death, he says, “Cap was always reluctant to talk about his past.” I imagine that this is based on the period when Tony would have presumably spent the most time with Steve, back when Tony was still a main member of the Avengers, before the line-up change. It makes sense to me that Steve would have primarily talked personally to Rick Jones back then. We saw that Steve was telling WWII stories to the succeeding Avengers team in the opening to his story in Tales of Suspense (1959) #72, which was after Rick left.

In issue #113, at Steve’s funeral, Nick says, “Anything we say is just to make us feel better- ‘cause Captain America doesn’t need our praise! His whole life- and the way he lived it- was the greatest epitaph a guy could have!”

In issue #114 T’Challa suggests, of Steve, “To a man with a lifetime of victories behind him- another one can make little difference!”

Sharon, who hadn’t yet heard the news that Steve was still alive, was only supposed to spy on A.I.M. and wait for reinforcements to attack, but she attacked them on her own, with the justification, “But we may not get another chance to catch an entire cell of A.I.M. leaders! And besides- now that Steve- is dead- what does my life matter!” She also thinks, which comes across as a bit more level-headed, “And- if I fail- at least I’ll know I tried! Just as Steve tried- before he was- cut down! The only man I ever loved- gave his life- for those he left behind! Now- how can I do- any less?!!”

Steve wonders, “Must I live out the rest of my days as a human symbol- as an emotionless, masked fighting machine??” I’ve seen elsewhere Steve struggle with the weight of being a symbol, and before this of being disconnected from his civilian identity because of the amount of time he’s spent wearing a mask, but I think that that he feels he must act “emotionless” is new to me. It reminded me of Iron Man.

In issue #115 Rick contacts the Teen Brigade after a long while of them having been defunct. And he thinks proudly in the next issue, “Best thing I ever did was organize those ham radio buffs!”

At the end of issue #115 the Red Skull decides the best way to break Steve’s mind is to bring Sharon to them and swap his and Steve’s bodies, so that Steve has to go through seeing Sharon with his enemy and her believing that he’s the Red Skull. I thought this was an inventive scheme, and the first really interesting use of the Cosmic Cube.

In issue #116 Steve realizes, “There’s only one thing in my favor..! The Skull is probably enjoying this too much to want it to end! So long as he holds the Cube, he feels I’m doomed… So he’d rather keep giving me enough rope… than finish me right now!” I think it’s difficult to make the hero believably succeed in the face of something with powers like the Cosmic Cube’s. That the villain is enjoying the process and unnecessarily dragging it out seems to me to be only way to create a story with it- barring limiting the Cube’s abilities as they were in Captain America (2005), or ending the story goofily as it previously has been.

Steve also declares, “Every though everything is against me,” and “Even though he possesses the invincible Cosmic Cube… I have to keep trying… to keep fighting… It’s the only way I know!” This makes the plight caused by the Cosmic Cube seem particularly apt for this character, even though fighting against expansive science fiction abilities isn’t necessarily what first comes to mind for Captain America. That said, it ended up stretching believability for me as the issues of the storyline went on how insufficient Steve’s attempts to explain that he’s not the Red Skull are. He just states that he’s really Captain America without explaining how that’s possible. And with the Exhiles he doesn’t even try, and they know that the Red Skull has the Cosmic Cube and what it’s capable of.

Also, there was a charming moment where a police officer chasing Steve, believing him to be the Red Skull, said, “I’ve never seen anyone drive like that… ‘cept for those old World War Two movies that used to show Captain America doin’ his thing on a speeding cycle!”

Issue #117 is the first appearance of Sam Wilson, the Falcon.

The Red Skull galavants around town as Captain America and, believing Steve to be dead, thinks as pictures are taken of him, “little do you dream that you are merely perpetuating the shallow memory of… a dead man!” One of the reporters comments on Cap’s behavior, “I don’t get it! He was always camera-shy!”

In issue #119 Sam distracts the Red Skull for Steve, who then knocks the Cosmic Cube out of the Skull’s hands with his shield. They all battle, which is particularly commendable of Steve and Sam as they’re exhausted by the Skull tormenting them with the Cube earlier. The Red Skull manages to get the Cosmic Cube back, but just then it’s finally destroyed with the new Catholite Cube by A.I.M., who originally created it, because it’s “Better to destroy our greatest creation, than allow it to serve another’s will!” But the Red Skull manages to at least escape Steve and Sam with the last of its power.

In issue #120 Steve sees a child steal another child’s superhero comic book. The thief asks the other kid why he’s upset about it, because “There’s a million costumed clowns to read about! Suppose you miss one… So what?” This makes Steve wonder, “If I gave up this life… what would it really matter? And yet, I can’t… while Sharon works for SHIELD!” The sentiment that Sharon staying at S.H.I.E.L.D. is what’s preventing Steve from retiring as Captain America was absent back in issue #114 when he asked Sharon to resign, then broke up with her when she refused, and later thought about his dissatisfaction with his life.

Nick Fury has a strangely calm reaction to Steve unknowingly sitting in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s “slumber seat.” Nick says that “it’ll make ya decide to work on a little job I got lined up.” He explains to Steve, “It can give ya nightmares… lullabies… anything I feed into its tapes,” though Steve is the one that pushes the button to make it do this. Nick uses the chair to communicate details of the mission to him. And Steve comes away from the experience declaring, “Now I know what I have to do!” But the next day he describes, “It’s as though something was making me get today’s paper… urging me to read the ads… until I found… this one!” That job advertisement was in the splash page of images shown to Steve while he was in the chair.

The job Steve applies for is a position as a physical education teacher at a liberal arts college. This is a vehicle to bring him to campus for a story about A.I.M. manipulating student protestors, hypnotizing them into being unreasonable and rioting, for M.O.D.O.K.’s villainous desires. Steve never ends up actually working in the position in the story, and he quits the job at the end with the bizarre explanation that “the job’s too tough for an old codger like me!” Nick is surprised by this.

Steve is really unhappy and dissatisfied with his life, largely because of how much it’s dominated by him being Captain America, and he has been for a long while now. I’ve previously thought that Nick cared about Captain America to the detriment of caring about Steve Rogers. Nick was instrumental in getting Steve to keep being Captain America in Tales of Suspense (1959) #96 after he’d quit in the previous issue. But back in #109, after Steve talked about his problems, Nick suggested, “And, if I was you, mister- I’d go out ‘n have me a few laughs!” And now he’s tried to get Steve to get a civilian job that I suspect he would have found fulfilling. Though Nick may be motivated here by that Steve may perform worse as Captain America when he’s depressed.

Also, the last time Steve got a civilian job was in The Avengers (1963) #23 after the Avengers briefly broke up, and he didn’t immediately rejoin them when they reformed. He worked as a boxer in a training camp, fighting others so that they could improve.

Captain America (2002) #17-25

These issues were published across September 2003 to April 2004. Issues #17-20 were the “Cap Lives” storyline, and issues #21-25 were the “Homeland” storyline. Issues #17-20 were all written by Dave Gibbons, penciled by Lee Weeks, inked by Tom Palmer, and colored by Dave Stewart. Issues #21-25 were all written by Robert Morales and penciled and colored by Chris Bachalo. Issues #21-22 were inked by Tim Townsend, issues #23 and #25 were inked by Tim Townsend, Aaron Sowd, and Al Vey, and issue #24 was inked by Tim Townsend and Wayne Faucher. Issues #17-21 were all 22 pages, issues #22 and #24-25 were all 21 pages, and issue #23 was 20 pages. And I’ve already read issue #26 because it was about Bucky.

I’m primarily familiar with Lee Weeks from the Batman comics he’s drawn, which were very well done, so it was cool to see him pop up in this series. I believe this is my first time reading Dave Gibbons’ writing. I’m previously familiar with his art from Watchmen (1986). And I recognize Chris Bachalo’s art style and know I’ve read his work before, though I don’t remember in which specific Marvel comic(s), and I don’t really like it.

The “Cap Lives” storyline depicted Steve being woken up from the ice to find that the Allies had lost WWII, and the Red Skull was ruling the United States from New York, which was now New Berlin. This storyline takes place in the 60s, with Steve only having been frozen for l 20 years, and the original Avengers team that Steve worked with in the comics that were published in the 60s were there as powerless resistance fighters, as well as the Fantastic Four and a few then-unaffiliated heroes- like Daredevil, Spider-Man, and Dr. Strange. Later additions to the Avengers, like Hawkeye and the Maximoff twins, were absent. Nick Fury and Rick Jones were also in the resistance, but Sharon Carter and the X-Men characters were absent from the world.

And Bucky is still alive in this alternate universe, and is the leader of the resistance. There’s nothing particularly interesting about his characterization in these issues, but I really liked the scene at the end of issue #20 where Bucky couldn’t save Steve, which parallels the famous scene in which Steve couldn’t save Bucky, as well as the emphasis on Steve’s trauma from Bucky’s assumed death while he was frozen in the ice and then first woke up in issue #17.

The premise of the “Homeland” storyline, established in issue #21, is that Steve is called to serve on a military tribunal for treason and terrorism charges for an “Iranian-born historian” at Guantanamo Bay. Earlier, a civilian seeing a news report about the prisoner commented, “That guy’s been here since he was seven years old! What’s this country coming to, when they revoke your citizenship before you’re convicted?!” Steve is told, of the request, that “the national level of paranoia is so acute that it extends to the very people sworn to protect the public. The public’s wary, Cap. They don’t trust the government, they don’t trust the Patriot Act, they don’t even trust the local bishop- but they trust you. If you’re on the tribunal, Rogers, people will know Hedayat’s gotten a fair shake.”

Instead of actually depicting the tribunal, the story takes a turn in issue #22 when multiple prisoners escape from Guantanamo Bay, including Hedayat. In issue #23 we learn that they went to Cuba and that all of the escaped prisoners were connected to each other, except for Hedayat, who is the only one of them who knew Spanish. Hedayat’s lawyer doesn’t think he went with the group willingly, and he tells Steve, “You have to at least consider the possibility that Fernand Hedayat is an innocent man. I don’t care what the fashion of the day is- his citizenship revoked or not, he’s an American. You have to go save him.”

I can’t really speak too much on the politics of all this, actually, as I wasn’t old enough to be paying attention to the world when these issues came out, so I’m not sure how they would have come across back then, how controversial or in-line with public thinking things would be.

In issue #21 a new love interest was introduced for Steve. This civilian character is so plain, I didn’t realize until she was referred to as such that she was meant to be a love interest. I thought Steve was just making a friend in his neighborhood. In issue #22 she takes Steve to an art show themed around trademarks, especially depicting superhero symbols in a negative light. Steve comments, “I usually only get to see this level of animosity towards me in battle.” The artist tries to defend against criticism by saying, “If you’re too thickheaded to see clearly satirical feminist agitprop subtext in my work-”

This book has so far portrayed Steve as someone that doesn’t ever kill people, except for one storyline where the Secretary of Defense specifically arranged to put Steve in the position where he would unwittingly kill someone. This was motivated by the belief that, as said in issue #16, “America needs killers who will murder for the right cause. The just cause.” Steve had said, in a moment of dejection in issue #13, “Soldiers kill. I’m not a soldier. I never was.” And in issue #25 a General, frustrated by Steve’s criticism of actions he took as the result of orders, says “you enjoy the luxury of your license not to kill” and “Soldiers don’t kill; politicians do. It’s policy that always pulls the trigger.”

[jimskeen]

An essay on regrets, of which I've had too many.

I spend a lot of time – perhaps too much time – thinking about mistakes I’ve made in my life. The honest mistakes I can forgive; it’s the mistakes of character than I cannot let go.

The earliest one I can remember – and the one that gnaws at my conscience the most – occurred in elementary school. I was walking down a hallway with a friend when Beth, a gangly, freckled redhead with a short bob haircut, was walking towards us. My friend started called Beth “Godzilla” and pressed himself against the wall as he passed her. Me, being a total jackass, did the same. Later in class, our teacher said that Beth was in the office, crying. She told us about how it was tough for Beth because her mother had passed, that she and her dad were just getting by, that Beth often had to make her own clothes. I’ve been walking on this planet more years than I care to reveal, and I can tell you without a doubt I never felt so small in my life.

Looking back at this episode I’m appalled at my gall to judge someone else’s beauty. Who the hell am I? Cary Grant? Brad Pitt? Oh, hell no. I’m reminded of the lyric from the Sparks song Johnny Delusional: “Some might find me borderline attractive from afar

But afar is not where I can stay and there you are.”

Is being thick headed at times a character flaw? Surely a lack of courage is, and also, I think, not being in tune with those around you. My next big regret was not being alert to the feelings of a girl, Samantha Wilson, in junior high school. We sat together in the back of math class, talking when the teacher wasn’t looking, passing notes, having a laugh, and, occasionally, I’d help her with math problems. What I didn’t notice, and didn’t realize until decades later, was that she “liked” me in that junior high school way of early romance. I liked her too but was too afraid to say anything. And so we sat, side by side, each in a state of what we thought was unrequited love.

I have many other regrets – not studying harder (or at all) in school, taking way too long to finally go to college, not asking the Army recruiter about journalism jobs (picking military police instead, leading to yet another regret – being a terrible MP), and, well, too many others to mention.

So many cases of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve,” what comedian Gary Gulman calls the Holy Trinity of Regret.

So, what to do with all of this regret? Well, I’m trying to do what pro football players do after losing a game – look at the film, analyze the mistakes, and try not to repeat them.

When we first see a person, all of us make snap judgments regarding their physical appearance. We make judgments about their looks, whether they appear to be someone of means – in short, whether they would be a good mate (in the reproductive sense of the word). That’s buried in our genetic code. But after that quick evaluation, we need to look deeper, or at least I do. You might be doing that already, being of better character than me. The world is rich in differences of appearance, and I should try to marvel at that, rather than being a boorish judge of looks.

As a professional wordsmith, I need to remember that words are powerful tools that should build someone up, rather being used as a weapon of thoughtless, cruel abuse. I am a craftsman of words and, if I may paraphrase Stan Lee’s Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility.

In short, I’m trying – perhaps not always succeeding – to be a better person.

I’m also trying to be thankful of where this meandering path through life has led me. I’m in a very happy place. I have a wife whom I adore – which I will tell to anyone who stands still long enough for me to do so. The two of us have three lovely daughters and six great grandchildren. Despite all the regrets, would I change anything that could result in losing that? No, of course not.

For my family and friends, perhaps I should embrace the Edith Piaf song “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.”

Non, je ne regrette rien (no, I regret nothing)

Car ma vie, car mes joies (because my life, because my joy)

Aujourd’hui ca commence avec toi (today it begins with you)

For your listening pleasure, Edith Piaf and Sparks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixdvm8-MdUs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCxLpte5loY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5jtqCo43WM

#Regret #Sparks #EdithPiaf #kindness

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[shivvytheshiv]

as usual i’m making somewhat of a thread of my thoughts on episode 10!

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON FINALE SPOILERS SO BEWARE

• lucerys and rhaenyra’s relationship in this episode makes my heart sink. especially knowing the ending but even in general. out of all of her children rhaenyra really has a soft spot for luke, she had some sweet moments shared with jace but he’s a firstborn so that explains it. luke is mama’s boy

• ok honestly why is every birth scene in that show so traumatic. i CRIED. gotta admire emma d’arcy acting cause wow. i loved the dragon parallel, i believe it was syrax feeling his rider’s pain?? and rhaenyra’s strength oh. my. god. pushing her daughter out HERSELF, not letting any handmaiden near, knowing damn well she won’t live, grieving her and literally in no time dealing with a handful of problems? THIS WOMAN Y’ALL

• the scene on the bridge between daemon, otto and rhaenyra was great. parallel with ep 2 was POETIC, also really loved seeing rhaenyra on a dragon bc we didn’t really see that since she was a younger girl. that book page reference? rhaenyra crying when being reminded of their ‘childhood love’? I SCREAM IN LESBIAN

• oh OH OH. CORONATION. i really suck at remembering names but the knight stealing viserys’ crown and actually running to help the other side reminds me of jaime post season seven. daemon crowning rhaenyra weeks after pretty much crowning his brother was poetic. damn everything about this episode is poetic

• i talked about the choking scene in a previous post so there’s nothing to add here really. i personally found daemon’s characterization interesting and complex, also rhaenyra snapping him right back with ‘he didn’t tell you, did he?’ knowing how important viserys’s trust was to him??? my complex babes really deserve each other

• corlys really said imma support my daughter in law even tho she’s not my daughter in law anymore. i stan. i really hope they give us some ‘queen and her hand’ moments between him and rhae in season 2

• ALSO RHAENYS😭😭😭😭💍💍💍💍💍

• lucerys and aemond- i was literally scared to write this part bc it’s so messed up and there are so many layers but here we go. first of all rhaenyra’s motherly moment with jace and luke before they flew off was EVERYTHING.

luke is such a baby compared to all them lords and aemond and he did such a great job 😭😭😭 like he addressed that baratheon brat with so much respect and grace. they did raise him well.

THEY BOTH ARE MAMA’S BOYS PLEASE

ok i really am not an aemond’s fan and i’m not trying to defend him but the fact that luke’s death was an accident actually really appealed to me. like obviously aemond is a prick for doing the whole ‘give me your eye’ thing but it is understandable of him to look for revenge. luke did take his eye. it was fair but you have to admit it gotta hurt. might be that he actually wanted that revenge, might be that he just wanted to scare the poor boy and that was the exact reason for chasing him on vhagar. luke’s death was obviously a shock for him and that’s what i find really interesting about it:

Aemond might be an excellent swordsman, he might be advanced and familiar with how it’s done but he never faced death — until now. we don’t really see aemond the way we see aegon, jace and luke - as a young man who literally has no life experience yet - but he is. until now.

• ending scene 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

honestly im in awe if you finished it lmao. overall it was one of the best episodes i’ve seen so far and i really enjoyed the intensity and some unexpected turns. i know people tend to hate it but if you didn’t i’m right there with you

[chironshorseass]

You’re my favorite person for when it comes to Powerful!Percy (your thing about Percy’s fight with Hyperion is chef’s kiss), so I was wondering what your thoughts were on Percy blowing up Mt. Saint Helen’s on accident. He really did cause a quarter million to be evacuated and almost destroyed the Northwest United States unintentionally. I Stan.

thank you!! i’m glad you like my takes because apparently everyone gets brain rot from them and we love that 💅

i’ve said this mainly in my take about hyperion but i also mention it in the one about percy fearing water, and my initial post, that i headcanon or more so i point out how percy is the ocean.

and for the mt. saint helen thing...it’s so crazy that so many of percy’s most important moments when it comes to his powers have been on accident. or, well...it’s more so that that’s how it looks like. because rereading that scene again, he kind of knew what he was doing. at least, he willingly unleashed the power that potentially created an exploding volcano.

this was one of those moments when he realizes just how much he’s capable of. the sea is inside him. all he had to do was let go. and that’s exactly what he did. so yeah, ok this time i checked, and THIS confirms my entire theory and i am losing my mind bc why do ppl not talk about this:

(this is, in context, the part where percy has to clean the stables in that ranch and talks to the naiad of the river nearby who gives him some advice)

and this naiad literally compares herself to percy. she says, “the water is within me. it is my life source.” and then proceeds to become part of the river itself. like hey!!! what if percy could do that??

and hey???? what if he did? what if he became actual water at some point?

and examining the scene of when he blows up the volcano, this is what happens:

in that moment of panic, of helplessness, he calls to the sea. he searches deep within himself. because this is what the naiad told him, which is what i’ve been saying this entire damn time!!!

and here’s the best part, which is where i’m coming from, saying that he became the water itself. at least in my interpretation:

“I shot upward from the heart of the volcano in a huge explosion, just one piece of flotsam thrown free by a million pounds of pressure.”

and we could infer that he was just thrown up in the air like trash, but i think it’s more than that. the sea is within me. again, this is what he literally says. it is CANON that he unleashed the raw, PURE power of the ocean. he became the ocean. he was part of that water mixing with the lava—because he is the ocean.

which is another thing, people debate that this is one of the only times percy demonstrates that he can cause an earthquake, and...i unfortunately have to disagree. don’t get me wrong, i love the idea of percy having dominion over the earth and totally accept it as canon with my whole heart, but it isn’t what happened here. this explosion happened because an enormous amount of water created enough pressure to make a fucking volcano explode.

and how can anyone do that if their life source wasn’t linked to the sea? how could he summon that water? that strength? because that’s what he did: he SUMMONED WATER in the middle of a VOLCANO!!! and then he proceeded to merge himself with said water. this actually reminds me of nico di angelo’s case, because he can become a literal shadow. i’m pretty sure there was this whole thing in boo where he’s kind of permanently becoming part of the darkness. so why not percy? why not have him be like that naiad, who’s life source comes from water? that’s basically what’s going on here.

and i am also considering this as a fact (yes, yes it is), because when he arrives at calypso’s island, he is on death’s door. just like nico was when he first shadow traveled. of course, there’s the part where he was thrown off the face of the earth and nearly burned alive, BUT that wasn’t his problem at all!! because leo was also thrown into ogygia, and he wasn’t in such horrible shape. the burns shouldn’t have hindered him as much, because he is still poseidon’s son—and besides, when he summoned that water, it should have healed him to some degree. no no no, he nearly died because of the way that he almost burned himself out, nearly wasted his entire life source, poured it all out into that volcano and just. became water himself. THAT’S what happened. THAT’S why hephaestus was like, “you don’t know your own strength.”

this is just the tip of the iceberg. who knows how much the ocean affects percy and how much he can affect it. would his mood change with the tides? with a storm? and what if he tries this again? what if he tries this unleashing of his own self? what if he tries to melt into water, just to see how it goes? can he willingly do it, or would that cost him just as much as that time in mt. saint helens? WHEN, i repeat WHEN are we going to see this again??? but no, we won’t see this again. rick didn’t give it to us and he never will, so i have to do all the dirty work😤

[mohluskiepedard]

Rating ATLA Characters literally only from what I’ve seen in fandom

or: posts that probably shouldn’t be on my writeblr except I don’t have a sideblog

the context here is it’s half midnight and I have never seen ATLA except I have opinions now apparently so here we go whoop de do- 

I’m also not actually rating them like numerically that’s too much work i’m just stating opinions I know I’m a fraud

AANG

- A child?  - A son?  - he is Baby. but also. he has had It Rough  - would make the updog joke - has unspeakable power or smth and everyone says he’s better than the Korra girl who comes after him but honestly tastes like sexism to me - doesn’t kill people because he’s like twelve, right? he’s like twelve so he refuses to kill people - I stan honestly - less twelve year olds should kill people - Some people say his name WRONG and they are BAD but i don’t actually know what the right way or the wrong way is so. have fun w that yall - lived in peace unTIL THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED 

KATARA

- She is also like twelve???  - Is everyone here twelve - Cortana?? Katana?? Catbug??  - She has good hair, - Her mother is dead??? her mother is dead n she has a brother but she cares about her mother being dead WAY more than him (or apparently the entire fandom??) - Badass - She seems soft. good. sweet - she’s a water breather or whatever??? her brother is NOT but he is a meme - I love her 

SOKKA

- NGL looks like a fuckboy  - The meme brother! does not do the water things, but he has an aXe???  - dates BAMF lady - ngl until I talked to my ATLA watching friend I thought he canonically dated Zuko  - kinda mad he doesn’t - I haven’t actually seen anything about him except like. in zuko ship posts and also Suki appreciation posts - joined the white lotus not-a-cult by accident???  - dark ATLA tumblr show me more Sokka posts - is his name prounounced the same way as Soccer or isn’t it I need to know - HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON - (AND THAT’S ROUGH, BUDDY) - He and Suki are a good ship, but also, Sokka Has Two Hands

SUKI

- the BAMF herself - she says STOP in that photo but also to sexism - Rlly all I see of her in fanon is abt her teaching Sokka to drink his respect women juice and I appreciate her doing that but also it’s sad she never gets talked about outside of what she did for a man - I hope she has other badass moments w/o him it would suck if she didn’t - she is NOT the girlfriend who turned into the moon, she is the one who didn’t - I don’t know much else about her ATLA Fandom y’all should appreciate her more

ZUKO

- Look at him... my son... - He has a good redemption arc - he and his sister are evil lesbian and redeemed gay guy??? - has a straight canon ship but should’ve been with Sokka this boy is gay - I Want To Protect Him - That’s literally it - he has a cool uncle and his dad sucks  - people ship him with Katara and I Do Not Get It that’s his sister in law except not really - “We don’t trust Zuko’s change of heart” [the next day] “so Zuko is my closest friend now,”  - His dad was like “fuck up the avatar to prove your worth to me” and Aang was like “counter argument you already have worth and we should fuck up your dad” and I think that’s beautiful - he becomes the fire man and he’s very good at it - Zuko for President 2020 - in the words of myself, half an hour ago: “ I was like "that kid with the burn on his face seems like a sad but then happy mlm who needs found family" and I was RIGHT” - took too long to find a happy picture of him :( Zuko rights NOW please - His mother’s story got compared to an OC of mine and all I can say is oh no and they deserve better based on that alone - I have had Zuko for five minutes but if anything else happens to him I will kill everyone in this throne room and then myself

TOPH

- She is badass but like also will murder you while laughing maniacally? - for some reason reminds me of Nott from Critical Role, another show I Have Not Seen - Is blind but gets more out of making jokes abt being blind than she would from being able to see - “Sight is just a cheap tactic to make weak benders stronger!!!” - Literally the opposite of Aang and has killed many people?? - She Can Tell When You’re Lying. But I do not know how and Am simply mildly threatened by this - Therapist: Toph’s ability to know if you’re lying isn’t real and can’t hurt you. Toph’s ability to know if I’m lying:  - She and Zuko.... buddies???  - if not they should be - tiny sad boy needs friends like toph

AZULA

- Evil Lesbian Culture - [BDG Voice] You committed a war crime! Oopsie! - took be gay do crime too literally - her and Zuko have accurate sibling writin except instead of “you ever want to murder your sibling for breathing in the same space as you,” being a Joke Azula took it seriously - okay but with a name like azula she should be the blue bender this ANNOYS me she should NOT be red bender - AZULa  - AZUL - IT MEANS BLUE - She was half of y’alls gay awakenings and it SHOWS - Should have maybe been redeemed too??? Jury is out no one knows - Was she gay for Ty Lee or wasn’t she I can’t tell how much of that Audio is a joke - IS SHE ALSO TWELVE??? IS EVERYONE HERE TWELVE?? IS THIS TWELVE YEAR OLD COMITTING ATROCITIES? 

UNCLE IROH

- A Good Man - Finally, Some Good Fucking [Adult Figures]  - he has the tea. literally and figuratively - Ozai is like “and I will permanently disfigure my son and throw him out” and Iroh is like “What The Fuck, Ozai,” thus voicing the entire audience’s thoughts - Literally the only adult in this that I trust - I? I love him. this is all I have to say. my love for him is unending. Some1 protect this man from all harm   - he’s Zuko’s uncle (and also Azula ig) but he does not seem related to Ozai. is it just a theme in this family that one sibling is chill and one sibling commits horrendous atrocities against your fellow human beings or  - something happened to his son???? :((((( I Don’t Want Him To Have Suffered Like This

OZAI

- A BAD MAN - Uh Oh (stinky)  - THE WORST OF THE MEN  - I do not like him - Bastard man. nasty. committed war crimes and then went “but what if - get this - i also abused my son,”  - I would like him to Not Be Like This - by Like This I mean present and alive  - :/ 

TY LEE

- She’s NOT the There Is No War In Ba Sing Se lady and I don’t know why i thought she WAS but until I looked up her photo I thought that was her  - She looks like a sweetheart tho - I hope nothing bad happens to her????  - talks about auras??? or smth??? let her vibe - She would talk animatedly to me about warrior cats if she was in my year seven class and I was sat alone and I would understand none of it but appreciate her anyway - if azula bullies her I’ll be :( at Azula and Azula will not care because she has Mommy Issues and therefore is slightly unhinged - She seems like that one kid with no trauma vibing at the edge of [every other kid having trauma] and not really getting it but trying her best - Is she also twelve?????? She maybe looks twelve

CABBAGE MAN 

- HIS CABBAGES - fulfills my favourite trope: ordinary person repeatedly has life disrupted by the inconveniences of relying on actual children to save the world - probably has a campaign post canon for letting trained adults fix the worlds’ problems in the future - or sets up the Very First Cabbage Insurance Company - look at him. he loves his cabbages so much. you go you funky lil cabbage man

ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES MOMO

- LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO GOOD - small. fluffy. big ears - Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty: his Momoness - a Good Boy...

APPA

- he looks so soft... - he can fly but he just does it by??? vibing through the air?? motionless??? iconic - I saw that one post about mishearing it as Abba and thinking he was Aang’s dad and he looks like he would be a good stand in dad ngl - he’s so LORGE - a chonky boy - love him

that is everyone I have heard of it and if I left someone out it’s a sign that y’all should talk about em more bc I have no clue they exist put more ATLA On my Dash ig I’ll do Legend of Korra ig maybe apparently that one has canon wlw and i love me some canon wlw

[pianostarinwonderland]

Thoughts on Twst Fans

Having been in this fandom for months, I’ve met lovely personalities and seen so much talent. And along with that, I’ve seen commonalities between fans who love the same dorm or the characters within said dorm. Now I’m not saying this to generalize people because everyone is a unique individual, but it’s fun to see common traits amongst a certain group of fans because wow, they surprisingly match the dorm that they stan.

Feel free to share your own thoughts~ 👀 I’d love to hear if you agree or disagree! And just remember that these are all just my own observations and I don’t intend to generalize or make a stereotype :’D

Heartslabyul Fans

They are probably one of the most chill groups in the fandom.

Seriously, it’s so rare to meet a Heartslabyul fan that actually keysmashes about their fav/s, and they seem so composed.

Well this doesn’t mean there aren’t any crazy simps, and when you do meet those people, you’re going to be in for a shock because holy cow, there are actually loud HL stans???

I’d say among the HL fans, Ace stans are the loudest. Which does fit his chaotic personality in a dorm where rules are strictly implemented and order is a must.

Riddle and Trey stans are among some of the calmest stans I’ve ever met. Pretty calm and friendly.

When it comes to art, Heartslabyul stans are so vibrant?? Like, HL art tends to be the most colorful in the fandom, and it��s beautiful.

It’s funny how the stans very much mirror the order Heartslabyul has... until you get to know the truly chaotic and loud ones HAHAHAHA

Savanaclaw Fans

They bark.

No seriously fnjskdksns Savanaclaw fans are some of the most feral ones I’ve ever met.

And by Savanaclaw fans, 95% of that means Leona fans because holy cow, they’re loud about Leona.

And can be horny.

That doesn’t mean to say Jack and Ruggie fans aren’t feral either. Trust me, I’ve seen a few.

Like, who wouldn’t be feral about Jack’s abs and tits? totally not bullying a friend

Ruggie fans tend to be the most composed among the Savanaclaw stans, like... they don’t seem to be the type to scream until you push the right buttons. They also seem pretty smart as well, but I don’t know enough Ruggie fans to be able to properly tell.

Maybe it’s just me, but Savanaclaw stans are probably some of the most fun people to talk to because of how energetic they can be. It’s entertaining and engaging for me ahahahaha like, some of the people I can say I’m close to in servers are Savanaclaw stans.

It also amuses me how the barking and feralness of these stans remind me of the beastmen in the dorm.

Octavinelle Fans

Welcome to the land of fish fuckers

No seriously. Octavinelle stans are probably the horniest and the most feral people I’ve ever seen.

Like holy cow, I have personally never seen the NSFW art on Pixiv because I’m too lazy to get an account, but I’ve heard on several occasions that the most NSFW art is from Octavinelle. Even in my tl, there wouldn’t be a day where I don’t encounter at least one NSFW comic featuring Octavinelle (thankfully, they’re locked behind Poipiku or Pixiv).

Octavinelle stans also bark like Savanaclaw stans jfskdkskkd but instead of barking for one, it’s barking for all

Also, even if you stan only one from Octavinelle, you end up liking the other two 🤡 saying this as someone who originally liked Floyd first, then moved to Jade, then finally moved to Azul.🗿 They’re too tight-knit to be separated.

Octa stans are some of the most tsun, it’s really funny.

But somehow, Octavinelle stans are some of the softest in the fandom?? 90% of the softness is probably because of Azul lmao but damn, Octa stans are both super horny and super soft, and it’s not even one or the other, it’s both extreme sides placed into one, and you get an interesting mixture.

Octa stans are some of the smartest and most talented people I’ve ever seen?? They tend to be the ones who focus on strategizing and team building in the game. And a good chunk of writers I know of are Octa stans. I’m personally not 100% sure of this and I only heard this from one other person, but Octa has the best MMDs. Good models and choreography, good choice of stage/s, just wow, exquisite.

Octavinelle stans are chaotic like the tweels I guess lmao and they have that duality of softness and spice, something which Azul has with his mafia boss persona vs his more vulnerable self.

Scarabia Stans

A n g s t

Legit though, so many comics and artworks of Scarabia are angsty, and it reaches a point that you celebrate when you finally find fluffy Scarabia works.

Scarabia stans are probably some of the most big brained people I know. They’re the ones with the theories and educated guesses, and they probably have a hidden catalogue of essays dedicated to the dynamic between Kalim and Jamil.

They also radiate maturity like damn. .

But wow, they know how to throw a mean party. Like look, they managed to get Kalim to trend on Twt during his birthday to the point Yana Toboso made a post about it ahahahahahaha

Pomefiore stans

Intense af

Like . They bark, but it’s not like Octavinelle or Savanaclaw barking. But they just have this intensity about them.

They practically radiate Pomefiore. Take one step into a Pome stan’s account, and wow you can IMMEDIATELY tell. That’s what I mean by intense.

Aside from that, they seem to have the strongest opinions about a lot of things. I guess maybe that’s also part of their intensity. When they take a side, they WILL take that side. Can’t say for sure hdhshsjsbs but the vibe is just there

They have this certain aesthetic, not gonna lie. It’s like,,, magical, hanging around with them.

Ignihyde

From the little I know, they’re pretty damn quiet too.

Like, from the few friends I know, Idia stans don’t seem super duper loud about him but it’s clear that they love him.

As for Ortho, everyone wants to hug him lmao

Igni stans are pretty artistic too, like damn . There’s so much beautiful Ignihyde art;;;

Diasomnia

Diasomnia stans are... interesting

The way I’d summarize them is this: they are Sebek kinnies who have the chaos Lilia possesses

Like holy fuck, they’re the memers, I swear. They just have this chaotic energy about them.

Sebek kinnies is mainly because Malleus is the main popular guy in the Diasomnia dorm. Seriously, though, Malleus stans are pretty loud af

They more of scream than bark

Sebek and Silver stans themselves are very loud, probs due to the lack in numbers

Lilia stans are just . Chaotic .

They’d totally eat his cooking.

Seriously, though, Diasomnia stans are so entertaining to talk to because they just have these brilliant ideas in their heads that can range from creative keysmash to video memes.

[captainimfangirling]

Finished Far Cry 5

Just finished Far Cry 5 and I loved it even the ending. Very unexpected. Because Far Cry 5 was the only Far Cry I’ve played in the series (also my first time playing a fps game) I was curious about what people thought of it. One complaint I saw a lot is that the Rook didn’t talk and had no personality. I know everyone is used to the player talking but I honestly liked that the Rook never talked because I think the point was that the characters were talking directly to me. I was the Rook. Whatever emotions I felt the Rook felt. The ending part where I was driving to Dutch’s bunker was terrifying and I can imagine the Rook feeling that way. I felt really bad for killing Eli that’s how the Rook felt. I was terrible with shooting, driving, etc and died a lot but got better and better. I can imagine the Rook being weak at first but got stronger and smarter. 

I’ve seen people talk about this but the Rook being a female made certain things more creepier like the scenes with John and the ending with Joseph. I did enjoy how the Peggies talked to the Rook like “I see you girl.” It made me feel like they were talking directly to me. 

The Seeds. Wow I loved them so much. Their stories were very interesting. I did say I found Faith to be the least interesting but after defeating her I actually love her. The bliss music and the scenery was so beautiful. Her voice and the music actually reminded of those ASMR videos. John Seed reminded me so much of those people in motivational videos which is how he manipulates people. He gives me creepy vibes especially how he put his hand around Hudson. The Rook being female gave his scenes a even more creepy vibe. Turns out I was right to feel that way because apparently he’s a sex addict. Jacob Seed was kind of typical like a veteran with PTSD going crazy but the way he used classical conditioning to trick the Rook (me) was very interesting and creative. I loved the fact that the voice actor played Lucifer on Supernatural. Joseph Seed. We didn’t get much scenes with him but I see him as a broken man with abandonment issues. He’s afraid of being alone. That’s why he didn’t kill the Rook at the end. 

This is just a theory while I was playing the game but I used to think the Voice didn’t tell Joseph the world was gonna end but Jacob did because he’s in the military and knows stuff. It’s also possible Joseph was really paying attending to what was going on in the world (the radio). I think everyone in real life know if the world is gonna end it’s gonna be our fault. It’s gonna be a nuclear war. 

Don’t think I’ll be interested in playing the other games in the series but for certain I’m interested in Far Cry New Dawn since it’s basically a sequel to Far Cry 5. Hopefully it’ll be on sale soon on Steam.

I noticed a lot of Seed stans. Don’t worry I wont judge you. I am a villain lover myself and I don’t condone anything. The villains are always the most interesting and fun. 

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[melis-writes]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I finally watched that deleted scene of Michael and Kay prank calling Tom from a hotel and I adored it! I was smiling the whole time and thought that the two were very cute together. Imo that one short scene contained more love/chemistry than the whole Sicily sequence and I wish it was kept in the film. I’ve come to realize how ridiculous the Kay slander really is and how uncomfortable a lot of takes about the film in general have made me. I even saw someone claim that she’s just as bad as the mobsters for getting the abortion 😬. Luckily I found a great article online written in Kay’s defense that I think does a great job summarizing her perspective!

Link: https://nicolesanacore.medium.com/in-defense-of-kay-corleone-87265a2cfb60

Also on the topic of Michael and Kay, I wanted to add that the song Made in the USA by Demi Lovato reminds me of their relationship ^^. Anyway sorry for the long ask and hope you have a good day! 😅

Hiii, sweet anon!! 🥰 Omg yes, that's my favourite since from the first film even if it's technically deleted off of some versions! I love it soooo much! 💖 It's Michael and Kay FOREVER to me. 😭 And I ABSOLUTELY agree with you over the Sicily sequence. In that hotel scene alone we see so much fluff, love, intimacy, the snuggling, Michael smiling at Kay while she's talking to Tom on the phone 😩🥺...!! So many things!

That was one of the first articles I ever read when my hyperfixation for TGF started!! 👀 NOTHING BUT FACTS!

I've been a Kay stan from the moment I watched The Godfather and have always loved her and her character. ❤ She's honestly a very misunderstood and hated character which is so weird to me because the opinions I hear online/on TGF video clips are always misogynistic, hating Kay for standing up for herself/leaving Michael as if Michael's actually a good person...lmao. 💀

I also really wish people would stop comparing Kay and Apollonia all the time; they're literally two different people who played two completely different roles in Michael's lives and impacted him greatly. Sadly with a lot of Kay slander/hate like a good 80% of the time, Kay is hated while Apollonia's praised for being submissive...wishing to give Michael babies, etc, a lot of cringe, disgusting, misogynistic traits some people have been assigning Apollonia like...do you hear yourselves? Yikes. 😬 I also think we can appreciate and analyze both characters without tearing them down (mostly Kay in this case). Kay is also so much more of a developed character in the book too, which I wish we saw in the film because she's almost a completely different person!

Kay is, if anything, one of the most good natured characters in the entire film. From start to finish, she loved Michael and only wanted the best for him and his family, but when he continued to lie to her, put her and her children's life in danger and was all nonchalant about it, you know miss Kay had the right to ask if Michael was a sociopath or what... Michael was SELFISH. 😭 He didn't give a shit about anyone except for himself in TGF1 & Part II.

Kay had all the right to leave Michael's ass imo. I love Michael for so many reasons and he's the blorbo of my blorbos, but I know he's not a good person (nor will I pretend he is lol), the atrocities definitiely make him interesting but he wasn't a great father and not a good husband either. 😩💔 As for the abortion Kay had, tbh I think a vast majority of some people's opinions on it is coming from their own personal opinion of whether they generally support abortion or not. It's always "she killed a baby", it's never considering the context, what happened to her, or anything else, really... Kay is not worse than a mobster for having an abortion. 💀 People just hate strong, independent women like her especially against Michael when Kay wasn't afraid to talk her shit and point out what Michael was doing and who he was becoming.

My bad for the equally long response... 🤣❤ But I love mini discussions like this!! Thank you for your ask! 🥰💖 I'll definitely give that song a listen too!

THEM, THEM, THEM! ❤❤❤

[ashdumpsterpile]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

[multiplefandomfics]

Vacation

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Virgin!PlusSize!reader

Warnings: self consciousness, unprotected smut, authority kink, daddy kink, angst, fluff

Words:3295

You were sitting in a bar somewhere in Croatia. Frustrated about the turn of recent events.

The trip was supposed to be about you and your friends. Just enjoying the sun and ocean. No boys allowed! But then on the 2nd evening your friends had abandoned you at the bar to go clubbing with some boys from spain. Fan-fucking-tastic, you thought.

There went your nice all girls vacation. The way you knew your friends you weren't going to see them for a while.

Just as you were about to pay your tab and leave, someone sat down next to you and started talking. “Hi, sweetheart. You alone here?” he didn’t say much but you recognized that voice immediately. Your head snapped upwards and your eyes widened. Of all the people you would have never expected him there. Sebastian Stan. The man of your wet dreams.

You fumbled your phone out of your purse and unlocked the screen. Yep, he was definitely the man from your wallpaper.

“You okay there?” he asked, smiling before his eyes fell on your background picture.

“Oh, so you know me.” he figured.

“Ehm, yeah, yeah I do. Holy shit you’re even more beautiful in person.” you swooned.

He laughed heartily at that and ordered you and himself another drink.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you with your girlfriend on vacation? Sorry if I give off stalker vibes” you turned red faced.

“That’s a long story but to cut to the chase, I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” his face turned slightly sour at the thought of his ex.

“Oh, I’m genuinely sorry to hear that. She seemed to make you happy.”

“Well, she did. But not anymore. So enough of her, what’s your name and what are you doing here?” He changed the topic.

“How rude of me, my name is Y/N and I was initially here to have a nice week with my girls. But now they've abandoned me in favor of some guys. So I decided to have a few drinks by myself and then go back to the house we rented.” you let all your frustration out.

“Wow, that sounds terrible. But the night doesn’t have to end like this. Would you like to dance?” he asked friendly.

“I can’t dance.” you objected.

“I’ll lead you, come on.” he paid for both of your drinks and then held out his hand for you to take. And how could you say no to that face?

“Alright. Let’s do this. And thanks for the drinks but you didn’t need to pay for me.” you told him.

“I know. You look like you could hold your own but I simply wanted to pay.” he grinned and you accepted his answer.

He pulled you onto the kinda crowded dance floor and guided your hands on his shoulders. Then he guided your clumsy body to the beat and soon it started to be real funny.

“Okay, that was fun but I need a break. And preferably some fresh air.” you yelled over the music out of breath.

He understood and took you outside in front of the bar and a bit away from the entrance where the smokers stood.

“See I told you if you ease into things and give me a chance I can make this a night you won’t forget.” he grinned, mischievously.

“A bit cheeky aren’t we?” you tried to play his game but his advances made you a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

The thing was, you didn’t decide on a men free vacation with your friends because you wanted to get a break from all the guys pursuing you at home but because your friends were constantly surrounded by guys and only talked about their experiences with the opposite sex and that reminded you of how inexperienced you were.

You had always been self conscious. Your girl friends were always tall and skinny or at least of normal weight and could wear all the trendiest clothes but you could not shop for nice wearables so easily. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, when you went out with your friends and you had really given your look everything, still they were advanced by men and you weren’t. It was frustrating.

That brought you back to the situation at hand- why did Sebastian Stan, Hollywood hottie, decide to pick you out of all these beautiful girls at the bar? It was a riddle to you.

“Can I ask you something?” you hesitantly asked.

“Anything.” he smiled.

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

The hurt in your eyes told him that you were genuinely interested in an honest answer.

“Because you seemed lonely and so am I. Also you are beautiful and now I know that you are kind and funny, too. You are perfect.” you couldn’t believe that.

“Are you serious? Me? Perfect? You have gotta be kidding me!” you scoffed.

“Why would I? In you I see something permanent. Something that could develop into more. What do you see?” he asked, concerned.

“I don’t know. I just have never heard that I am beautiful from a man before.” you looked down, embarrassed.

“You can’t be serious! What kind of stupid idiots have you met in your life before?” he asked, astonished.

“The kind that wants a model type by their side. Just the kind of arm candy you should have by yours too. Not a chubby girl like me. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” you had to hold back tears at your confession and wanted to turn around to leave. But he grabbed your arm and forced you to look at him. “Hey, don’t go. I meant what I said. I am sorry that you have only been hurt by men so far but I promise I’m not like that. You can rely on me. I really want to get to know you. Let me take you home and we watch a movie or something? It’s only 10pm. No strings attached.” he offered.

That did sound like a dream and you decided quickly that you had nothing to lose if you said yes.

“Okay. The house is right up that hill and behind that little bit of forest.” you informed him.

He offered his arm, gentlemen like and you took it.

“So where are you from when you are on vacation here at the moment?” he asked to make smalltalk.

“I’m from Germany.”

“Impossible! I heard Germans speak English and they have a strong accent. You have barely an accent and I would have placed you closer to the states.” he was surprised.

“I hear that a lot actually. But I have never been to the US. I just watch a lot of movies and TV shows in English. And I read books in English too.” you smiled bashfully.

“That’s amazing. I think I have a stronger european accent than you do and I’ve lived in the US since I was 12.” he laughed.

“Well, English is my comfort language so I’m always happy when I can use it.” you said nonchalantly.

“Marvelous. You’re amazing.” he complimented.

“Oh, stop it.” you turned red.

“I’m only saying what's true.”

“You’re too kind.”

You walked uphill towards the small wood you had to cross, in the dark. Great idea!

He walked pretty fast and you had to almost jog to keep up with him which made you sweat and got you terribly out of breath.

When the trees around you got thicker and it got even darker it happened. You stepped on a rock, it rolled to the side and you twisted your ankle.

“Shit! Ouch!” you exclaimed loudly.

“What happened?” he asked scared.

“Twisted my ankle. It’s just too fucking dark.” you were angry at yourself for being so stupid.

“Damn. Can you step on your foot?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But what other options do we have? I gotta try.”

You stepped from your left foot onto your right and it buckled beneath you under the pain. “Fuck!”

“Okay that won’t work.” he stated and the next second he just picked you up bridal style and started to carry you on.

“Are you crazy? Let me down. I’m definitely too heavy to carry.” you ordered him.

“No, you are not. And when you try to hobble home we won’t make it until sunrise. So now shut up and let me carry you.” he silenced you efficiently.

“But take a break if you need to, and you will need one eventually.” you mumbled.

The rest of the way you held onto him and buried your face in his neck. Damn, did he smell good. It almost made you moan.

When you arrived at the door he didn’t let you down as you would have expected him to, no, he grabbed the keys from your hands, opened the door and carried you into the living room to lay you down on the couch.

“Thank you Sebastian. You are so kind. What can I ever do to repay you?” you asked him.

“Hmm, maybe let me kiss you?” he suggested and you had to swallow nervously. He immediately picked up on your hesitation “Only if you want to of course.”

“Sure I want to, but… I have never kissed anyone before.” you averted your eyes in embarrassment.

“Then let me change that, please.” he begged. You saw no resentment or reproach in his beautifully blue eyes.

Of course you caved and nodded your consent.

He leaned closer to your crouched form on the couch, put his hand on your thigh and brushed his lips to yours.

The kiss was sweet and careful not to startle you or demand something from you that you could feel uncomfortable with.

“So how was your first kiss?” he asked and smiled.

“Very nice.” you looked blissed out at him. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I would really love to do that again.”

“Please do.” you confirmed.

Oh and he did. The kiss was magical. This time he pushed his tongue sensually into your mouth and you were stunned how good that felt.

“You okay?” he wanted to know afterwards.

“More than okay. I’m happy you picked me at the bar. Usually they say “never meet your heroes” but with you that’s different.”

“Thanks,doll. That means a lot to me.” he leaned in and kissed your neck.

At the mention of that particular nickname your posture stiffened. He noticed.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

“Ehm, well … you know I haven’t only had a crush on you but also on Bucky… maybe.” you whispered.

At first he seemed confused as to where this confession suddenly came from but then it clicked.

“It’s the nickname. I called you doll.” he laughed. “I didn’t even register that I got that from him. But if it turns you on I will keep using it.” that grin could win you over any day.

“I could get used to it actually. I never would have imagined someone calling me that. But you make it sound so hot. Thanks for making me feel good.”

“Anytime, doll.” he kissed you again.

“By the way, didn’t we wanna watch a movie?” you suddenly asked.

“Yes, of course. Do they have Netflix or something on here?” did he wanna know.

“Disney+. And with it all the Marvel Movies.” you winked at him.

“Anything you want, doll.” he kept using that nickname over and over but you loved it.

“Which one have you not seen yet?”

“I think I’ve actually seen them all. Which one is your favorite?”

“I love the ones you’re in the most.” you confessed.

“Okay, close your eyes and I’ll pick your favorite one.” he suggested.

“Alright. Let’s give it a try.” you agreed.

When you were allowed to open your eyes again you saw the opening credits of a Marvel movie flashing. You recognized the first scene: The Washington Monument and a very exhausted looking Sam Wilson and you heard “on your left” which made you smile. He knew then that he had picked the right movie.

“Good choice.” you praised him.

Then you cuddled up to him and he put his arm around you.

Although you were pretty tired after about half the movie you could not skip over one second of that glorious movie.

“You know- the Winter Soldier is kinda hot. So determined and dominant.” You slurred when you saw him walk down that car after he jumped from the bridge.

“You think so? You like to be dominated? Controlled? Called names? Maybe tied up and used?” he growled into your ear.

“Fuck.” you whimpered and clenched your thighs.

“You like the thought of that don’t you?” he bit into your earlobe.

You nodded furiously.

“Use your words babygirl.”

“Yes, sir.” you said.

“So, an authority kink is there too. And here I thought you were so innocent.” he pushed.

“How can you be innocent when you read fanfiction almost every day?” you quipped.

“Fanfiction, huh? Can you show me examples so I can paint myself a picture?” he asked.

You took your phone out and opened Tumblr. Then you searched for your favorite Bucky fanfic with all the kinks you enjoyed and handed the phone to him.

He read with interest and you studied his facial expressions, smirking when you saw reactions to certain parts you had expected to come.

“So that’s the kind of naughty literature you enjoy alone in your bed, touching yourself maybe.” he growled.

“Yes, sir. The imagination of what you could do to me makes me so wet.” you bit your lip seductively.

Suddenly you were in a flow. All the insecurities about your body and weight were gone. Only him and your sexual fantasies existed in the moment.

“Fuck baby.” he moaned and grabbed your hand to push it onto his growing bulge. “Feel what you do to me, doll?”

“So hot.” you moaned back and felt the urge to take charge. So you got onto your knees and sat in his lap grinding down on him.

Before anything could go further he stopped you and whispered “if at any point you want to stop or feel uncomfortable or I’m doing something you are not ready for or don’t like, tell me and we will stop immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sebastian. I understand. Thanks.”

And so it continued. Grinding and kissing. Until he suddenly stood up abruptly holding you close. “I’m not taking your virginity on this couch. Where is your bedroom?”

He was so considerate “upstairs and then the last door on the right.”

He carried you to the room, carefully laying you down on the bed so as to not disturb your injured foot.

When he unbuttoned the button down he was wearing and took it off you were already drooling.

“Let me undress you, darling. Turn around so I can unzip your dress. Which is beautiful by the way.” he suggested and winked.

You did as he told you and soon felt your dress falling off your shoulders. He helped you pull it over your head and left you in your bra, chub rub shorts and panties.

A little embarrassed at the shorts you looked to the side. But you couldn’t go out in a dress without wearing any type of pants underneath.

“You are so sexy, baby.” he did everything to make you feel comfortable and you started to believe him.

“May I?” he motioned for your bra and you nodded your consent.

Next he took off his jeans and the realization of what was to come started to seep into your mind.

“You still okay with this?” he made sure.

“Yes. I want this Sebastian. I really do. I trust you” you assured him.

So he proceeded with the rest of your clothes and lastly his boxer shorts.

The whole time he kept kissing you hungrily. When he crawled on top of you and you had that skin on skin contact you had never felt so safe with anyone before.

“I gotta prep you before we go all the way, alright? Don’t wanna hurt you, doll.” he whispered between kisses.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, promise.”

“Please.” you begged.

That’s when he scooted down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. The next thing you felt was him placing a kiss on your mound, and then his tongue poking out starting to flick your clit. He pushed your legs further apart to gain better access.

“Fuck, feels so good.” you moaned just when he inserted one finger into your tight pussy. “Oh, my gosh. Don’t stop.” you begged him.

“I won’t” he mumbled and kept attacking your clit.

“‘m so close.”

“Come for me baby. Come now.” That command was the last straw which brought you to orgasm.

Breathlessly you smiled down at him and he smiled right back at you.

“You up for more?” he needed the confirmation that you were alright.

“Yes, sir. Now I don’t know why I have never done this before. I don’t ever want you to stop again.” At that statement he laughed heartily.

“Then let’s start, shall we?” he kept kissing over your belly, up to your breasts, licked your nipples and sucked hickies onto your neck.

“Ready?”

“Can you just fuck me already?” you asked annoyed.

“Someones being needy.” he joked and finally penetrated your pussy.

“Oh, fuck. So big. Hmmm. deep. Shit.” you were already reduced to a mumbling mess.

“Such a tight fit. You feel amazing.” he buried his head into your neck.

And then he started to move. Slowly at first but picked up speed rapidly. He hit spots inside you that your favorite vibrator was never able to get.

End then something you never wanted anyone to hear slipped your mouth “Fuck, daddy. Harderr!” and suddenly he stopped completely and you mewled disappointed until you realized what you had said. You opened your eyes to see his reaction.

You expected him to be disgusted but all you could see was a hunger. He looked like a predator who finally caught his prey.

“Say that again!” he growled. That statement of his made a surge of pride and confidence rush through you.

You bit your lip mischievously and said “Please, daddy. Fuck me harder.” and he immediately snapped.

He pistoned his hips forward, hitting your cervix over and over until you were so desperately close.

“You’re about to come, aren’t you? I can feel your pussy squeezing me, doll. Alright I’m gonna count down and I want you to come with me. Understood”

“Yes, daddy please… need to come… so bad.”

“Five..” deep thrust. “Four…” nip to the collarbone. “Three…” you clawed at his back. “Two…” you tried your hardest not to come and closed your eyes. “Look at me babygirl..” so you opened your eyes. “One… Come” and the dam broke. You had never come so hard in your life. No toy could ever make you feel the way this man did. Your quivering cunt made him come so hard. When he rolled off you he was breathing just as heavy as you were. The only noise you heard was your rapid heartbeat and blood rushing in your ears.

“That was amazing. We definitely need to do that again” you said.

“Oh yes. Anytime.”

The next week flew by so quickly and you two spent most of it in bed. You decided that your lives needed to be lived together so the next chance you got you would be moving in with him. Sometimes dreams do come true!

[sortasirius]

“Inherit the Earth” and the Fakeout

Absolutely genius.  Amazing, iconic, legendary, something only our showrunner Andrew Dabb can pull off.

"But Lilly, the episode was so bad!  It was just the brothers, they didn’t look for Cas and Eileen!”

YES.  THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.  THIS WAS A FAKE ENDING, THE END OF THE SEASON, NOT OF THE SERIES.

Let’s get into it.

An empty world.  No one left but Sam, Dean, and Jack.

So Dean ran, he somehow managed to pick himself up off the floor of the dungeon and meet up with Sam and Jack.  That jacket was this silent reminder.  Remember what I’ve been saying, Cas has occupied the negative space all season, this is no exception.

Dean can’t look either of them in the face, he’s doing that thing, where his eyes move everywhere BUT where he should look. 

“I couldn’t save anybody.”

Sam couldn’t save the world and Dean couldn’t save the one person that means the world to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Dean?”

I think it’s there, in that pause where Dean tries to push down the emotions, continue the fight, not think about the memories he left in the bunker, that Jack realizes what must have happened. Jack is the only one that knows about the deal, he has to know what Cas not being there must mean.

“He saved me.  Billie was coming after us.  Cas summoned the Empty.  It took her...and took him.  Cas is gone.”

This may shock you, but I am GLAD they didn’t talk about Cas, especially with what happens at the end of the episode.  Cas is allowed to just take up unsaid space.  It’s obvious he’s missing with the way they blocked things, obvious he’s missing here.  This whole “oh well they don’t care about Cas because they didn’t talk about him”?  Malarkey.

“Jack I’m sorry.”

Guilt.  Regret.  Pain.  Dean will carry this with him for the rest of his life.  Not only that he lost Cas, but that Sam lost Cas, that Jack lost Cas.

That SHOT, with the distance between Jack and Sam where Cas is SUPPOSED TO BE, and then a zoom out to...THE WORLD.

Okay, as usual, Bucklemming has the subtlety of a sledgehammer lmao.

Jack crying???  Praying to Cas????  Bruh?????

Also it’s just straight-up frightening for everything around my boy to die he is my baby son.

Also not to point out the incredibly obvious, but Dean starts drinking immediately, and continues drinking throughout the whole episode.  Grief arc 2.0 babey.

“We can what, Dean?  There’s no one left to save!  Everybody’s gone!”

“You can’t just give up.”

“What other choice do we have!”

Idk why, but for Sam, who’s the constant, the one who’s always had hope, through everything, through all these years, when he finally says this, when he finally loses his hope?  It hits the hardest.  Sam is the leader, so not only is he grieving the loss of Eileen, he is a general grieving the loss of his soldiers, his friends, the world that he feels the duty to save.

When they go to meet Chuck, I just can’t get that image of Dean, leaning against the car, handprint still on his jacket, staring at the ground out of my head.  It takes him a few seconds to catch up to Sam, like he’s pulled out of thoughts like deep dark water.  Remember friends, it doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Chuck wearing BLACK?  FEAR.

“That’s right, the whole Cain and Abel thing.  Us dead, whatever.  I’ll kill Sam, Sam’ll kill me, we’ll kill each other.  Okay, you pick.  But first?  You gotta put everything back the way it was.  The people, the birds...Cas.  You gotta bring him back.”

Willing to kill his brother.  Willing to die.  Tears in his eyes, begging God to bring Cas back.

And Chuck?  Chuck doesn’t care about their surrender, he knows he’s already got them beaten.  He cares about their pain, he cares about them suffering, because to him?  That’s the entertainment.  He’s not entertained by their found family, by their happiness, by their joy.  He wants them to suffer, all of them.

“Eternal shame.  Suffering.  And loneliness.”

And he leaves them with just that.  No hope, no family, just the three of them, broken, alone.  Jack locked in his bedroom, Sam trying desperately to make life “normal” again.  And Dean.  Dean who drank so much he passed out on the floor.

He doesn’t feel terrific, he feels like shit, because not only is he dealing with the shame of an empty planet, he’s dealing with the guilt of being back in the place where the Empty took Cas.

This whole thing with the dog was just absolutely heartwrenching shit and if I didn’t hate Chuck before, him snapping Miracle right in front of an already fragile Dean would seal that deal.

I just want everyone to know that this is a Jake Abel stan account.

“Daddy’s boy” is a big insult for my boy Dean to use considering his own past with his trash abusive father but I’ll allow it.

I do think it’s interesting, ending of his arc aside, that Michael is willing to help them now.  What changed?  Sure, he ended up trying to help Chuck, running back to his father, but why get back in the game?  I wonder if it has anything to do with the loss of Adam.  It’s an interesting parallel, a man loses his angel while an angel loses his human.

Everything is so DARK in the Bunker now too, even the lighting is loud.

When I tell you I lost my shit when I saw Cas was calling Dean, when I heard Misha’s voice??  I knew it didn’t make any sense but I didn’t care, I would’ve been one step behind Dean as he sprinted towards the door.

Fuck you, Eugenie.

I mean it’s torture not only to Dean, who looks beyond fucking crushed when it’s damn Lucifer at the door, but for us too.  Who the FUCK wanted Lucifer back?  And to tease Cas???  Garbage.

I mean...fam.  Listen, we know who’s writing this episode, this whole Betty thing is just like blatantly unnecessary but again, Eugenie loves Lucifer, gotta distract her with a shiny toy lmao.

It was cool to see Michael and Lucifer onscreen together.  It was a cool dynamic that we rarely got to see.

The whole episode is just twist after twist.  Listen, it’s their last episode so I guess they needed to fit in a season worth of twists in one episode.

Bye Lucifer.  We know Eugenie can’t bring him back.  Blessings to all.

This scene with Adam is the FOURTH scene where Dean is drinking...big yikes to my guy’s liver.

Here’s the thing about Michael.  He’s a mirror for Dean in season 5.  Loyal to an absent father.  He has never changed, but Dean has.  Dean is able to acknowledge now, the trauma that his father put him through, he was able to move past the need for pleasing him at any cost.  Michael and Chuck?  Are John and Dean, if Dean had never been allowed to grow.  And Chuck proves, like John did, that he would always put his wants (in John’s case “the mission”) over his children.

Also not to beat a dead horse but Michael’s death was also peak Eugenie.

Sam getting to punch Chuck in the face?  Thank you, he deserves that.

Obviously I don’t love any scene of my boys getting brutally beaten.  But what I love, what I will always love about them, is what Chuck hates about them:  they won’t ever give up.  They know they won’t win against him, they don’t even land any hits, but that’s not what matters.  What matters is their controller doesn’t control them anymore, that they really are free.  No matter how hard they get hit, the get back up.  It is their choice to stand up to him, no matter the cost.

The moment where Sam and Dean are supporting each other, covered in blood, and they look God in the face, and they laugh.  That is why I will love them unconditionally for the rest of my life.  That is who they are, they will never cow to the villain, whether that’s Azazel or Alastair or Zachariah or Lucifer or Amara or Death or Metatron or Cain or God.  They will always choose to stand up.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because.  You lose.”

Chills.  What a line.

And Chuck is left, small, human, no longer a villain, no longer anything.

Gotta be real, woulda been nice to, idk, not see all this essential plot in a flashback, but I know I can only ask so much of Bucklemming.

For Dean to walk away from killing Chuck, right after he’s called him “the ultimate killer” is quite simply the most beautifully heartwrenching thing I could ever ask for.  Because that’s who Dean was under Chuck, that’s who Chuck wanted him to be.

And he would have before:

But he’s heard some things since then, heard some things about how others see him.  Not as the killer, not as a monster, not as angry and broken or his daddy’s blunt instrument:

I’m not saying that Dean doesn’t kill Chuck for Cas.  He doesn’t kill Chuck because he doesn’t think he has to anymore, he doesn’t kill Chuck because he listened to Cas, he took Cas’ words to heart.  He made the choice not to be the killer.

“See that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are.”

And Chuck is angry, because he thought, after everything, even after losing, that he would still know Dean well enough to know that he would kill him.  But Chuck has never really known Dean, he has never understood where he’s really come from.  Cas understood, Sam and Jack understand, but Chuck never did, and writing off Dean as angry and broken is his biggest mistake, because that’s never been Dean.

“It’s not his power anymore.”

And it’s not just his physical power, it’s his power over the story, over the boys that’s the real power taken from him.

For Jack to be the one to bring everyone back, for him to be the hero of the story?  That’s poetic right there.  Now, I will say, I don’t think this story ends with him as God, because for him, the child, to take on this burden, it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me for his arc, but we shall see next week.  It felt pretty tied up, but there’s one major loose end: and that’s Jack seeing Cas again.

“Just you and me, going wherever the story takes us.  Just us.”

“Finally free.”

This doesn’t feel triumphant to me, it doesn’t feel like relief.  It feels like they’ve settled, like this is the best they’re going to get, so they might as well make the best of it, at least they have each other.

For Cas and Jack to be carved into the table?  I cry.

And for the montage, very similar to “Swan Song” to be set to “Runnin on Empty”?  Sorry but that’s just too sus to be ignored.

They packaged this episode as an ending, because for many, it might be.  The season’s story, the season about fighting Chuck is over.  So, you might be asking (or, well, screaming, judging by my replies lol), what’s left?  And that’s a good question, Chuck has been defeated, so what is left?  What’s left is what’s really mattered all season: the relationships that have been crafted over the years.  Dean and Sam’s unhappiness at the end of the episode, where “just you and me” sounded more of a grudging acceptance than anything else, is one of the clues that has to be looked at.  Why didn’t Sam find Eileen, why didn’t Jack bring back Cas?  Those two characters specifically are the ones we need to watch out for.  As I’ve said over and over again, peace, contentment, satisfaction, those don’t come from Sam and Dean on the open road together anymore.  They have a family, more of a family than they did when they started hunting together all those years ago, and that family is what holds them together.  They need each other, of course, but each other isn’t enough anymore.  Sam needs Eileen, Dean needs Cas.  That is where they will find their peace.

This episode, as many written by Bucklemming was sloppy, rushed, packed full of shit, and had little gems that we can talk about forever, but that was the end of the season, and next week?  Andrew Dabb brings us home, where Dean and Sam will finally be able to choose what they want for themselves, and that, my friends, is Eileen and Cas.