#also the movie was hella angsty

[jcryptid]

Okay.... in my defense.... y'all really should have seen this one coming...

@nuggdoesart

[absolutebl]

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

[rubra-wav]

Various Adam headcanons

A/N I'm not an Adam simp, I just have been thinking abt him since the last post I did.

A lot of these are just things I feel in vibes and are completely baseless haha.

Cw: SFW, angsty in parts, misogyny, slight reference to disordered eating, uhhh idk man it's mixed

He's very messy and his house is like a bombsite of unwashed dishes and laundry.

Think messy roommate horror stories: that's him, and he doesn't give a single damn about it. Thinks he shouldn't have to clean up his house because that's a 'chick thing'

He's naturally really warm and overheats a lot because of it. Due to this, he has his house cold so he isn't sweating his ass off at all times.

He's really good to sleep next to during cold weather, but is God awful during hot weather.

Will not stop bitching about it being too hot when he's slightly uncomfortable and laughs at people who are easily cold, calling them weak.

His favourite things to watch are shitty b grade movies - especially comedy ones.

Prides himself on knowing current lingo, memes, and jokes (and actually pulls off not sounding like an old person trying to be 'hip with the kids' and cringey)

Follow up: makes deez nuts and ligma jokes out of everything and finds it hilarious. Sera sent him out of a meeting for doing this to Emily one time.

He's the type of mf who is pretentious asf about beer being superior and believes any guy who likes sweeter drinks / doesn't like beer are pussies.

He secretly doesn't believe this in the slightest and actually hates beer, he'd never admit it though. He has a sweet tooth and actually really likes drinks like Baileys.

Constantly talking, even if it's just to himself.

He likes AC/DC a lot. Ironically, 'highway to hell' is one of his favourite songs of all time.

He always wears his mask because he feels more vulnerable without it.

If you're close with him, he'd likely feel more comfortable to take it off around you - would fight to keep it on at all times if he doesn't trust you or feel safe with you.

I headcanon he put on weight after getting to heaven because after he was kicked out of Eden he didn't have nearly as much food, so he began binging when he finally had it again. It kind of just stayed a comfort for him.

He's really insecure about his weight gain too. If you point it out he's gonna get really upset. (Like how Lucifer does in ep 8)

Follow up: he literally always has snacks and is an absolute bitch about sharing them. If he does share them with you, he expects you to be really grateful.

His masculinity is fragile as it gets.

Would physically wilt if you even slightly imply he's not masculine and then become extremely angry and try to prove he actually is.

The main reason he is misogynistic is due to his experience with Lilith.

Before Lilith ran away from him, I think that Adam actually had extremely high respect for women.

His whole purpose was to reproduce. Women do a hell of a lot more then men during the whole process of reproduction and dude worships pussy even now (he named his best soldier after it. Not after dick, vag)

I imagine that it was a much larger appreciation for women in general before Lilith screwed him over.

This soured into misogyny, though, after she ran away and likely grew much, much worse with Eve due to her actually being made from him.

Eve then proceeded to eat the apple given to her and resulted in them being kicked out of Eden, which made it even worse.

He's the definition of that one reddit incel who had bad experiences with a handful of women and now is an absolute misogynistic cunt lmao

Hella abandonment issues.

Also hella jealousy issues.

Doesn't matter if you're a friend or a partner, he's going to be grappling to be number one and the only one in your life.

He's not manipulative or slick about it even a little though, it's obvious as it gets. Will vy for your attention by being literally as obnoxious as possible constantly.

Literally so clingy.

If you ever point it out, he'll deny it though and get very flustered.

Bro needs reassurance so bad you aren't gonna leave him if you're his partner.

Will sometimes just get really quiet and ask if he did something if he even slightly senses a tone shift to negativity.

Pretends it never happened afterwards and will downplay his fears massively if you call him out on it.

He's the type of sleeper who moves around a lot and ends up upside down somehow. Also a sleep talker.

Is the type of mf who has the skill to transcribe songs into guitar simply by ear.

He never shuts up about it, so although it is actually a really incredible skill, you want to not praise it because of how annoying he is over it.

Follow up: can play most types of guitar.

One of those extremely annoying rock fans who scoff when you put on anything but rock.

Also acts like he knows more about rock than anybody.

If you put on country music around him, he will forcefully grab the aux from you to turn it off.

He knows he actually isn't very smart at all and is super insecure about it.

He's had it used against him time and time again by people like Lilith and overcompensates to deter this by acting like he is actually the smartest person at all times.

When someone treats him like he's stupid, especially about something he actually knows/is knowledgeable about, he's extremely defensive about it (like when Lute points out the shield to him in ep 8)

Would be the type to go "Mansplaining means 'man explaining things'" to you with complete lack of self-awareness.

I need to draw Sera looking absolutely horrified as he screams the lyrics to highway to hell so bad.

Got possessed with the energy I had to suddenly write this omg.

[snek-of-eden]

Star Trek AMV Masterpost (ongoing)

I feel like amvs are so often forgotten in fandom culture, so here's a list of my favourites! All are on YouTube, and all credit goes to the original creators. the links should take you straight there. (the majority of these are spirk, but there's definitely variety!!) some of these are pretty popular, others obscure, but they're all amazing and you should totally check them out. My all time fav ones are marked with a 💙.

Spirk:

Star Trek || A Thousand Years - [Kirk/Spock] -- this one is super well known, incredibly crafted, a beautiful homage to TOS Spirk and their journey that fades seamlessly into AOS through Spock Prime's memories 💙

Kirk/Spock - If I Were Gay -- absolutely hilarious TOS amv that feels like a parody, I laughed my ass off. all the suggestive scenes and hella funny lyrics to accompany it

Kirk & Spock │Renegades -- amazing x ambassadors song, the lyrics fit them so well and the colouring was spot on. TOS going through the original series and the movies!! 💙

Kirk & Spock │ Come right back to you -- exploration of TOS spirk's bond interspersed with show quotes and the most melancholic soundtrack. shed a tear at this one

Spock and Kirk Feel Again - A Star Trek Music Video -- absolute BANGER of a One Republic song, a TOS amv focusing on Spock and Kirk (with some stunning song parallels to Spock's emotions and the lyrics!)

Star Trek TOS | Two Slow Dancers - [Kirk + Spock] -- would you like to cry today? do you want to sob into your pillow? then this is the video for you. Mitski and TOS Spirk together is a gorgeous combo, and the editing is /on point/

Star Trek - Can't Help Falling In Love (Kirk/Spock) -- an oldie but a goodie, Jim and Spock's ballad of love all throughout TOS and the movies

Keep Holding On (Kirk/Spock) -- its the combo you never knew you needed! glee and Star Trek!! show tunes, glitter, and a completely TOS movie based amv about the events of Search For Spock and The Voyage Home

Running Up That Hill (Kirk/Spock) -- Kate Bush cover and Star Trek TOS? yes fucking please. don't diss the Kate Bush, people. ITS NOT CRINGE HERE. all your swoon-worthy, love-for-the-ages spirk content, some suggestive scenes spliced in the middle, a lot of amok time hehe

K/S (Kirk/Spock) - FUN -- adrenaline inducing AOS spirk fighting amv set to Troye Sivan!! some seriously talented editing and a very pretty AOS colouring

Spirk 'Blank Space' -- christ, this video was what got me to actually watch AOS. One of the only AOS amvs I cherish with my whole heart. the song is a cover of Taylor Swift's Blank Space - and imo it's even better than the original. I've ranted about the editing on a lot of these but this one just about takes the cake. fucking gorgeous 💙

Spock/Kirk - Blue (Star Trek TOS/AOS) -- angsty af and set to Halsey's 'Colors', this one'll get you sobbing. more slow-paced. also, both TOS and AOS!!

Spock / Kirk - Stay {TOS/AOS} -- Hurts is such an underrated artist but so many of their songs are spirk coded!! Very pretty edit, lots of parallels

Kirk/Spock - Landslide -- Fleetwood Mac and some lovely melancholic TOS movie reminiscing about Kirk and Spock's relationship as they're growing older and losing their youth

Kirk/Spock - Wait for It -- calling all Hamilton fans, this one'll be right up your alley. TOS fading into AOS and focusing primarily on Kirk and Spock's dynamic through Spock's perspective. fast paced and fucking wicked

Star Trek: Kirk/Spock || Hold on -- the obligatory Hold On amv (I feel like every fandom has one lol). AOS, spirk, some great angst here!

James T. Kirk:

James T. Kirk | I'll Be Good -- absolutely STUNNING exploration of AOS Kirk's character and psyche, done with gorgeous editing and colours and scene selection. I'm not a huge AOS fan but I played this on repeat for a week. Song is I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young, which is incredibly Jim Kirk coded. so so amazing 💙

Icarus | Jim Kirk [HD] -- snappy cuts and a great portrayal of AOS Kirk. Spirky undertones but nothing explicit. super poignant lyrics

Little Talks - Captain Kirk Tribute: A Star Trek Music Video -- captivating, beautifully edited amv by First Officer Nims (who make some of the best amvs I've watched), one of the most meaningful TOS Kirk videos I've had the pleasure of finding. It's constantly in my head, in my heart, in my soul. 10/10 💙

{James T. Kirk} BI BI BI -- all y'all bi Jim truthers, this one's for you. all of Jim's fruitiest moments from TOS (and behind the scenes) gathered into one camp edit and set to the glorious sounds of NSYNC!! featuring "are there men on this planet", "they seem to be bisexual" and Jim nearly kissing McCoy ;) 💙

jim kirk's babiest moments | fanvid -- not exactly an amv but it's close enough!! exactly what it says on the tin - TOS Jim being the most babygirl ever, pouting, flirting with spock and bones, fighting people by throwing himself at them, and much more. go watch it, you'll thank me

Spones:

What's On Your Mind | Spones || Star Trek [TOS] -- a masterfully put together and downright hilarious eighties-themed spock/bones TOS amv!! (featuring both Nimoy and Kelley's voices in the actual song recording)

Spock & Bones • Hopeless place -- two words: RIHANNA COVER. it's short, its AOS, it's fuckin Rihanna. what is there not to love? I have nothing more to say. go listen to Rihanna

The Night We Met || Spones -- Lord Huron and TOS Spones amv, it's just a general lovely video, great editing and the lyrics fit them so well. I felt Lots of Emotions watching this, and so will you

[Star Trek] Spock/McCoy - Please Don't Leave Me -- beautifully put-together video for TOS' Spock and Bones. It's giving so much 'we're divorced but still in love' energy. painful and funny and the bridge of the song is just *screams incoherently* 💙

You Had A Bad Day -Spock/McCoy *Slash* -- sobbing at this one, TOS and absolutely chefs kiss. scene selection is on point, it tells a full story. creator has found what I consider to be the holy grail of Bones' best angsty moments

Star Trek In General:

Star Trek - This Is Me -- I will be preaching about this video for the rest of my fucking life. think of every positive adjective you can; they all do nothing to describe how wonderful this amv is. Greatest Showman is good on its own... when you add Star Trek into the mix something beautiful happens. an absolute anthem of positivity and inclusivity and everything Star Trek is at its heart. Clips taken from every show, but especially DS9, Discovery and the AOS movies!!! probably my favourite on the whole list 💙

Star Trek || I'll keep coming -- very very well done HD AOS amv about the whole cast. feels like a movie. the creator has put so much effort into this and it pays off!! great homage to AOs as a whole

Star Trek | You Are Loved -- AOS tribute to the soundtrack of Lights by Sleeping At Last. Perfect cuts, great lyrics, big fan

[Star Trek: TOS] Party Rock Anthem -- the video for those who want to bust their ass laughing. superb chaos, you will have no idea what's happening and it will be fabulous

Star Trek DS9 - Last Friday Night -- the DS9 group bullshitting around and having a whale of a time for almost four minutes straight. ever wanna show a friend just how weird Star Trek really is? this'll do it. it's like if three hundred punch drunk aliens threw a queer party! wahoo!

Assorted Others:

Garak x Bashir - Hooked -- sexy, dangerous, catchy garashir amv with perfect beat drops and lyrics to die for. fucking sweet, I have this on repeat

Undisclosed Desires | Deep Space Nine -- DS9 Bashir/Garak slash, amazing editing and a sick ass song. Really shows off their - again - dangerous dynamic and the 'I can make him better' 'I can accept his violence' aspects of their relationship

King of Shadow ★ Garashir -- a more intimate, kind-hearted look into Bashir/Garak's relationship, less fast-paced and on-edge. Superb and filled with lies and whispers. love this one!

ϟ twenty years || Jim|Spock|Bones [TOS] -- melancholic but still quick-paced TOS McSpirk exploration. goes through the original series and the movies

Scotty/Uhura- "Hey Soul Sister" -- sweet and utterly adorable lil scotty/uhura amv. fluff fluff and more fluff!! big fan, I am such a simp for the cuteness omg

Garak/Bashir | ST: DS9 | Some Boys -- back on the dangerous garashir shit, this is the stuff of my best nightmares. amazing editing and the song choice is spot on. I've had the single by Death Cab For Cutie on Spotify repeating for a week *heart eyes*

Kathryn Janeway || Soldier -- I'm a big Voyager fan, and this is the perfect tribute to Janeway. It shows exactly how her character works, getting right into her head, and the whole thing is action packed. Paced spectacularly and argh just amazing

Those are some of my favourites!! Please go check some of them out! There are so many more, and the list is growing every day. AMV creators are amazing and I'm kissing you all on the forehead. thank you for your service 💙. I'm in the process of making a public YouTube playlist with all of these on it, so if you want to have that I'll probably link it eventually!!

[thecurlyhairrodimuslover]

Alrighty, new asker here! The name’s Lunarstar, but you can call me Lunar.😊

I see you wanted more requests. If you have time, perhaps either a wholesome Transformers Earthspark Megatron with human reader who had a rough day at school (you can decide either high school or college) due to bullying, or TFE Prowl and a very observant human reader. I can see Prowl being impressed by the reader’s observation and wanting to mentor the reader into becoming an effective detective.

Don’t feel obligated to do these. Life comes first!👍

this is amazing, Lunar! <3 I love doing these for you guys.

gn! reader, stress, bullying, all that angsty, kinda wholesome at the end, the reader being paranoid, irritated, and kind of a dick (sorry) , Not edited.

Earthspark! Megatron with a human reader who had a rough day at school and who's also picked on.

Megs :

You thought bullying stopped at middle school, and people would have grown out of it. At least the bullying you saw in movies.

You were bullied by a group of boys. The worst. They were seniors, you were a sophomore. A little lower-classman they could pick on indirectly. this really wasn't your normal, "give me your lunch money," kind of situation.

You have so much to worry about, especially in high school. Junior year is right around the corner, life seemed to have high expectations of you, you were associated with the Autobots, being on missions, and all other responsibilities... It all seemed a bit much at times. Your little bullying situation didn't make it any better.

The boys that picked on you would give you a hard time.

They'd purposely take your seat, or have the complete audacity to comment on you without even acknowledging you. They'd be like "Pfft, yeah, they're hella weird," or like "Have you seen that bitch, "Y/N, or whatever the fuck their name is?" even though you'd be right there, sitting behind them.

They'd have no decency. They'd fucking lean on your desk or put no space in between them and yourself. It was annoying, but of course, you wouldn't say anything. If you were to say something, what would you even say?

You would let them walk all over you. A force was telling you not to, but you did it anyway. You gave them answers, and help, you'd even help them cheat. They'd lean back and whisper what they had wanted. Every single time you felt a certain lump in your throat. It was like you were obligated to.

It was getting to a point. A point where it was annoying, but you knew you couldn't say shit about it.

You were scared. you'd thought you'd never feel this feeling. especially in the modern day.

It made it even worse that when you'd answer questions, you were so afraid, even more afraid that you'd get it wrong and they'd start laughing at you.

They would all turn back and raise their eyebrows as if they were expecting you to get it wrong.

You had wondered sometimes. If it was like a thing all football players had done. It's like they put on this facade of a nice guy and then pick on you indirectly.

You couldn't even talk to Robby or Morgan about this. They weren't even in high school yet. You would mention it around Dorothy or Alex. You were hesitant. It was like you had thought that it was going to be a burden on them. It's a shame. That's your aunt and uncle. Another side of you could see the possibilities of what they might say. You thought they may shrug it off as them picking on you because they might like you. Yeah.. that was definitely a middle school thing.

Eventually, you find yourself delaying when you get to class. As it may help the little situation and you could pick another seat. Another part of you also did this due to your rising anxiety about them. You'd hide in the bathroom, and when you'd come back, they would stare even more.

Yes, it got to a point where you'd sometimes skip that class. You wouldn't even go to lunch anymore. The teacher was concerned for you. maybe... or maybe she just wanted you out of her classroom because that was her only break. On rare occasions, if you did go to the lunch room, you'd sit in your own corner, away from everyone else. Airpods/headphones in.

When you would be picked up by your aunt, she'd ask you how your school day was. you'd sigh and shrug it off, saying it was good. She knows damn well that's a lie.

"Y/N..."

"I'm serious, it was fine..." You raised your voice a little.

she looked at you raised an eyebrow, and sighed.

you had arrived at the base and threw your bag on the ground, sitting near it as you scrolled through your phone.

"Y/N, what happened at school today?"

it was a silver bot. No other than Megs himself. Oh boy were you in for something.

"If this is about raising my voice at Aunt Dot, I'm sorry--"

he cut you off immediately.

"No, I'm serious, Y/N. Tell me what happened. She did tell me you were upset. Have been upset for quite some time, and she wanted me to raise the question of what's going on in school. So spill."

You sighed. there's that feeling again. Your fingers felt tingly. You look up at him with furrowed and upset eyebrows.

"There are these boys at school. They kinda pick on me... its nothing though," bullshit. Absolute bullshit.

"Yeah, right... I'm telling your aunt so she can handle this accordingly."

"No, please, Megatron, please don't. They're division one..If the school does eventually do something, they're going to hate me and pick on me even more--"

"That's even more of a reason for me to do so,"

yeah, megs is the dad of the year y'all.

the school does find out, and sooner or later your classes get switched. different buildings AND different levels. They're stuck in traditional while you're in honors, haha jokes on them bitches- lol

you'd never say it, but you are pretty thankful he did do something.

I had to think about this one a lot. I loved the challenge! Bring on some more Transformers requests guys! Much love,

King.

[bobbydagen24]

tbh I'm still Hoping Chef will be Brought back in the next film as it could be Hella emotional and also further explore some Good old fashioned Branch angst which the Trolls writers seem to love 😭😭

I know I've talked about this before but eh I wanna talk about it some more lol as I'm in love with the story potential of Chef coming back.

have fans Done any fics or fanart of the idea? idk I'll have to go check once I'm Done writing this post lol.

but yeah I Hope this does happen cause there's so much potential here for an emotional story involving Branch and his Bros coming face to face with her.

in the first movie its always struck me as a little Disappointing that Chef being the one who killed Branch's Grandmother was never mentioned in present day

I know logically neither Chef or Branch himself would Remember since Branch was only a little kid who saw her for a split second and for Chef it was just a normal day at work.

but from a writing standpoint I Do find it Disappointing more wasn't done with this in the first movie.

I feel her coming back in the next film could work especially well if it takes place not too much time after TBT so the film could still explore some left over issues in the family

plus some more Branch angst that the writers love showing lol.

I'd probably have the movie open with something like Branch his Brothers and Grandma all sat around having Dinner happily chatting away and whatnot only for a hand to come crashing in Grabbing Grandma away

as Branch can only Helplessly watch and then his Bros all start blaming him saying why wasn't he more carful and why did he let it happen

with Floyd especially telling him that he promised him he would take care of her and then the Brothers all walk out for good while Chef's laughter can be heard in the background and Branch is just sat on his own and he looks down at his hand and sees he's turning Grey.

and then Chef's Hand comes back in and Grabs him and he's screaming for help only to see there's no one around that cares and

Branch struggles to try and break free but its Hopeless and Chef just laughs and is about to put Branch in her mouth.

only for him to then wake up in his Bed in a panicked sweat and we see him telling himself to breath feeling his chest and trying to calm himself down

making it clear this is far from the first time this has happened and he already knows what to do in these situations.

FR I like the idea of the movie opening with an angsty nightmare scene for Branch showing his still lingering Trauma in present day.

Both over his perceived failure and guilt over what happened to Grandma not to mention his Brothers leaving again and of course a Fear of Chef herself

not only for killing Grandma but also how close she came to killing him in the first movie.

so opening the movie showing some still lingering Trauma that maybe he Refuses to open up to his Brothers about because he's afraid they may blame him for Grandma's death

like he did himself for all those years and maybe they'd leave again I feel would be neat way to start the film where Chef comes back imo.

especially if the whole movie or at the very least just the climax was about Poppy and the Brothers needing to save Branch

after he's captured maybe after a family argument and he goes off on his own only to get snatched by Chef.

as the whole family coming together to save him from Chef the source of his Greatest Trauma like come on that'd be emotional as Hell 😭😭😭😭

also I do just really wanna see Branch actually confront Chef over Grandma like maybe when he's captured he finally angrily confronts her over it only for Chef to casually Dismiss him

stating she doesn't Remember that day or her at all Hurting Branch at his core since that day obviously has stuck with him for his whole life and changed who he was

but for her it wasn't special it was just a Regular Tuesday.

and of course in the end it'd be satisfying and sweet to see Poppy and Brozone Rescuing Branch and maybe for Chef's comeuppance in the end

I kinda like the idea that Due to some chemicals or magic crap that she'd been messing around with as part of her Grander plan she ends up being shrunken down

to the point she's actually smaller than a Troll like lets say the size of Tiny Diamond so she's basically Rendered Harmless to the Trolls and she tries to attack the main characters

but Brozone just playfully pick her up and toss her back and fourth and in the end they just throw her in a cage with Branch somewhat smugly

Remarking something along the lines of him not being able to believe he was ever afraid of her

with Chef looking a little pissed off to say the least 😂😂😂😂

kinda well and truly confronting the source of his nightmares and feeling a little better about himself as a Result

and also I'd end the film with him finally sitting down with his Brothers and talking more about Grandma

as he finally feels more comfortable about opening up to them about these kinds of things now.

so yeah fingers crossed Chef comes back it wouldn't be too Hard to explain maybe she landed on the cooker inside the creature's Belly and used her knife kit to climb her way out or forced the creature to throw her up or something.

the why's and how's don't really matter too much to me I just think she'd be a perfect Returning Villain for a future film given the significance she has to Brozone as a family and Branch himself.

since she basically made him who he is.

also if Chef is Revealed to be alive in movie cannon then hey it'd be a perfect chance to Bring Creek back in movie cannon as well 😂😂😂😂

be it as a Villain or a Redeemed character who warns pop Village about Chef's plans after overhearing them

maybe he hid inside her Hair so he could hitch a Ride out of the mountain creature lol and afterwards he hides in their for a while and

overhears Chef recruit some henchmen maybe some Bergens who still believe in the old ways and want her to overthrow Gristle JR

and he hears her plans and after waiting for her to fall asleep he sneaks out and runs back to the Village tho he had no idea where they were so it takes him months and months to find his way back lol

which could be how our main characters find out she's alive and planning something and thus kicks off the whole story.

just an idea as Chef coming back does make it very easy to bring Creek back as well 😁😁😁😁

I was thinking that my only problem with this story idea is that it doesn't Really give much for Poppy in Terms of character Development in this story

but maybe if Creek did Return then Poppy's mini side arc could be her learning to give him another chance after being less than Receptive to him returning

and not wanting to give him another chance despite claiming he's sorry and clearly wanting a chance to make amends hence why he came to them with this info

but we see Poppy struggle more with her own ideals of believing people can change and giving out second chances when its someone who she was Emotionally Hurt by Personally

so yeah maybe that could be a mini arc for her if the film did bring Creek back as well.

what do you think about the idea of Chef and Creek Returning in future?

[daniwib]

Hiiii 💕💕💕

For the fic never have I ever:

1) have you ever written anything about buddie and sleeping (like an insomnia fic, nightmares, cuddling and falling asleep, etc)?

2) have you ever written anything about buddie and chronic pain?

3.) have you ever written anything about buddie and hurt/comfort? What about angst?

4) have you ever written any sort of buddie AU?

-❤️🪐

Hey, hii!

(Me, holy shit, someone actually sent me an ask? Stay cool, stay cool, it’s cool everyone!)

(Also me, oh shit, I did not realise that this means I have to remember what I’ve written. Hmm. This may have been a mistake, I have the worst memory, I really do. Goes and checks out own ao3 profile for the answers…)

Ok here we go.

Nightmares. Oh hey look at that! I’ve actually got a fic with the word in its title, who knew! A spell for nightmares & fractured hearts is a short and fluffy lil fic about Buck helping Chris heal after the tsunami, and then Chris (and Eddie) helping Buck do the same. And because I’m allergic to fluff, I followed it up with part 2 in that series being long, whumpy and angsty. As for falling asleep, cuddling or insomnia, I can’t find anything in my quick search but I think I’ve written all of those in several of my fics, just not as a major part of the plot, more as part of the comfort part after the hurt usually.

Similar answer for chronic pain, I think? I’ve referenced it here and there in various fics but haven’t written on just about that. It’s a little bit too close to home for me, my dad has had 3 hip replacements (first because of major injury as a firefighter when I was 10, he fell through 3 floors in a burning building) so having lived with someone experiencing it, it doesn’t really appeal to me to write.

Buddie and hurt/comfort – um. Pretty much every single one of my Buddie fics?! I filtered my works with that tag and got 30 hits, so…. Here’s one I’m posting right now that I’m kinda proud of Pictures of You, in which Abuela dies post season 6, Eddie hurts and Buck comforts.

Buddie and angst – refer to above answer lol. If I had to choose a favourite, I think I’d choose empty, broken, lonely, hoping, my beloved presumed dead fic where Buck and Christopher are thought to have perished when Buck’s apartment building burns down and Eddie goes through several chapters of angst. It’s unrelenting really, poor guy. 4. Buddie AU – again, I’ve got several depending on your definition.

If you want a truly Alternate Universe, try I Once Was Lost. It’s a Peter Pan fusion where Buck is Peter, Eddie is Wendy Darling and almost all of the other characters feature in Neverland too. It covers from their childhood up until the end of season 5 and I have a particular soft spot in my heart for it.

If you prefer Canon Divergence, try There Walks Darkness. It’s basically What If Maddie didn’t kill Doug and he was arrested instead – and was one of the prisoners who took Buck and Eddie hostage in season 5? It features a lot of hurt Buck, Buck whump, worried Eddie and the 118, some of my favourite tropes to write.

And lastly, if you prefer supernatural AU, try Returned for a shorter read, which perhaps unsurprisingly is based on the movie and tv show… Returned.

Which reminds me of another supernatural AU that I can’t believe I forgot because I adore it! Trust Me, Darlin’ is my first collab, with the lovely @hella-cious! It's a Supernatural / 911 crossover in which Buck runs into an old hook up (Dean Winchester ofc) at a scene in LA and is promptly kidnapped before the 118’s eyes. Lots of angst and whump in this one and while there is Buck/Dean because lets face it, those two are far too hot not to ship together, it ends in Buddie (and Destiel too, for SPN fans!)

So, wow. There you go. This was a lot longer than I expected it to be but then I’ve never done one of these before. Thanks for being my first ask @steadfastsaturnsrings !!

[campingwiththecharmings]

Just Friends (Part II)

PART I

AN: So this is hella angsty (for me, anyway), I am so sorry. Also, before y'all yell at me, please know there is a third part in the works lol

(Un-beta'd)

“You’re really not going to try to stop me then?” you challenge, your voice wavering a little. Fury slices through him at your words; what was this to you? A game? 

Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 2,471 Pairing: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!Reader Warnings: alcohol, cursing, kissing, semi-public sex, p in v, friends with benefits, angst. AO3

——————

I’m yours, he’d said, his face buried in your neck as you’d come around his fingers.

Yours.

And he is. Wholly. Completely. 

He won't say the word though—can't say it. But he feels it, that much he can admit to himself.

He has no claim over you though, not really. Sure, he can play your body like a well-loved guitar, knows all your sweet spots—the ones that make you sing, that make his name fall from between your lips in breathy moans—but your heart? That, you keep under lock and key, hidden away with the darkest, most broken pieces of you. 

He gets it. Really, he does. He’s the same way.

Or at least he was.

Now, he’s yours.

‘Your’ what, though? Your friend? Your fuck buddy? Neither option seems to fit, especially not when you’re the one saying it. 

“Just friends,” he mutters, scoffing as he lifts another shot to his lips. 

The liquid burns as it slides down his throat, warmth spreading slowly through his chest. He closes his eyes, savoring it, savoring the momentary silence in his head. He’s tired, so tired. Tired of feeling this way, of having you but not having you. He’s not sure how much longer he can do this, ignore his feelings.  They’re overwhelming sometimes, especially when he’s with you (and not even just when he’s inside you, but when he holds your hand, makes you laugh, when you’re pressed against his side on his couch as you watch a movie—).

He sighs, running a hand over his face. When he opens his eyes again, they catch on the bartender’s and he signals to her that he’d like another. She nods, acknowledging his request before turning away to grab the bottle. He studies her absently as she makes her way over, her lips curling in a sultry smile. She’s cute, but not really his type (no one but you is his type these days, it seems). 

“You alone?” she asks when she reaches him, eyeing him appreciatively as she pours him another shot.

He nods in response, muttering a ‘thanks’ as he brings the glass to his lips.

“Wanna change that?”

He wants to laugh, almost does at the cheesy pickup line, but he doesn’t want to embarrass the woman. 

“I’m good,” he says instead, smiling as he nods at her in thanks. 

She pours him another, looking at him from beneath her lashes. “You sure?”

He hums, nodding again as he fingers the rim of the glass. “Positive.”

“Okay,” she shrugs, leaving the bottle on the bar within his reach. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

He doesn’t respond, just watches her back as she walks away. He needs to get out of here, clear his head. Sitting up on the stool, he grabs his wallet. He pulls out some cash and tosses it on the counter beside the bottle. As he moves to stand, he catches her eye again, noting the flash of disappointment in them. Nodding goodbye, he turns to exit the bar.

The air outside is humid, a vast difference from the coolness of the bar. The streets are relatively empty given the hour, only a few people meandering about. He walks slowly, aimlessly, in no particular direction. He just needs to think. He doesn’t know what to do about this, about you. He wants you (God does he want you) but he doubts you feel the same. Maybe you just need more time, time to figure out what he already has—that you belong to each other, with each other.

A car’s horn honks as it passes him, jolting him from his thoughts. He halts, glaring at it as it passes and mentally cursing at whoever is behind the wheel. When they round the next corner, he sighs, defeated (in more ways than one). Running a hand through his hair, he takes in his surroundings and sees….you. There you are, sitting at a table at some restaurant, chin cradled in your palm. 

He hasn’t seen you since the other night at the bar, and it seems like fate that he’d stumble across you like this…that is, until he realizes you’re not alone.

Possessiveness burns in his gut at the sight of you with another man on what is clearly a date (a bad date, if your bored posture and fake smile are any indication). The waiter stops by, effectively distracting your date and you take the opportunity to excuse yourself, heading toward the back where he assumes the restroom is.

Resolved, he walks over to the door and pulls it open, stepping into the room beyond it. He tells the hostess he’s meeting friends who are already seated and she waves him in, telling him to come back if he can’t find them. Instead, he heads straight for where he saw you heading a moment ago, down the back hall and into the women’s restroom.

You’re at the sink when he opens the door, hands braced on the counter as you stare at yourself in the mirror. When you spot him, you spin around to face him, eyes wide with surprise. 

“Santiago,” you breathe, something unreadable in your eyes. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugs, leaning against the wall behind him. “I was walking by, saw you in the window.”

You bite your lip, looking away in what he can only describe as shame. “I’m on a date.”

Something in his chest cracks at your words, the confirmation of his suspicions. “Yeah, seems like it’s going well.”

You cross your arms over your chest, suddenly defensive. “We were actually just about to head back to his place.”

His nostrils flare at the implication, jaw working as he fights to keep his anger at bay. “Yeah? Well, I hope you have a great time.”

You scoff, eyes narrowed as you push off the counter. “Oh, believe me, we will.”

Silence permeates the room as you simply stare at one another, unsure of what to do next.

“You’re really not going to try to stop me then?” you challenge, your voice wavering a little.

Fury slices through him at your words; what was this to you? A game? 

"No,” he growls, stalking over and pinning you against the counter with his body. “I want him to fuck you, cariño. I want him to fuck you so you know I can do it better."

Something that looks a little too much like hurt flashes in your eyes and a part of him—the part that’s still your friend, the part that wants to be more than your friend—instantly regrets his words. But there’s something else there too, something that’s clearly aroused by this, and he wonders just when this had all gotten so fucked up.

The scent and feel of you is overwhelming, especially given where his thoughts have been all evening and he can’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing you, your breath hitching as he covers your mouth with his. You don’t stop him when he licks inside, instead sighing as you wind your fingers into his hair. He grunts when you scratch your nails against his scalp, his hips jerking involuntarily against yours. You break the kiss with a gasp as he grinds his half-hard cock against you, his name falling from your lips in breathy sighs. He drags his lips down your neck, teeth worrying a mark onto your skin, one he can’t help but hope your “date” sees. 

You claw at his shoulders, trying in vain to bring him closer as you grind against him. He smothers his groan in your neck, lifting you onto the counter and pushing himself between your legs as he returns his mouth to yours. He swallows your moans as he shoves his hands beneath your skirt, his fingers trailing up your thighs. When he makes it to your panties, he wastes no time hooking his fingers around the waistband and pulling them off, stuffing them into his back pocket. You moan as he runs a finger through your soaked folds, hips tilting as you chase his touch.

He briefly considers teaching you a lesson—of bringing you to the edge and leaving you unsatisfied, to go back to your “date” with your cunt throbbing and your slick running down your thighs—but when you beg so sweetly for his touch, for his cock, reaching out to fumble with his belt and the button and zipper of his jeans, he realizes he could never deny you anything. 

He’s yours, after all.

You grumble as you struggle with his jeans, the waistband getting stuck on the swell of his ass as you try to push them over his hips. He sniffs a laugh, moving your hands away and pushing the offending material down his legs. You take him in your hand, pressing your forehead against his as you watch his face from beneath your lashes. He groans at your touch, eyes fluttering shut as he loses himself in the feel of you. Your breaths fan against his lips as your hand moves up and down his shaft, your feet notching at the backs of his thighs to pull him closer.

“Santi, please,” you breathe, his cock still clasped in your fist as his eyes open to meet yours.

He grunts, reclaiming your mouth as he palms your hips, pulling you to the edge of the counter. As he moves you closer, his cock bumps against your wet slit, ripping another muffled moan from you. You squeeze him in your fist, dragging him through your folds and down to your entrance. He groans, hips involuntarily pushing forward, seeking your warmth. You whine when he stops, just the tip of him inside you. He stays that way for a moment, enjoying your breathless pleas in his ear. 

When he finally pushes into you, it’s quick, hard, punching the breath from your lungs. He snaps his hips into yours repeatedly, his cock hitting you so deep you can probably feel him in your stomach. You cling to him, legs wrapped around his hips as he plunges into you, holding him in place so he can’t leave you (as if he would). You’re close already, the tell-tale flutter of your cunt dragging choked groans from him.

He’s not gonna last, he thinks, not when you feel this good around him, not when you’re so wet he could drown in you (would drown in you, if you’d let him). 

“Fuck. Santi, don’t stop. Please.” 

His pace falters at the desperation in your voice, but he regains it, fucking into you even harder as he whispers encouragement into your ear. You come apart with a choked moan as his thumb circles your clit, cunt spasming around his cock. He tries to keep up the pace, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you through your orgasm. The feel of you around him is just too much though, and before he knows it, he’s spilling himself inside of you with a growl. 

He holds you for a moment as you both come down, your face buried in his neck as you catch your breath. When he moves to slip out of you, you tighten your hold on him, fingers fisting in the back of his shirt as you hold him against you.

“Not yet,” you whisper into his skin, your voice sounding a little shaky as you cling to him.

He nods, wrapping his arms around you as he tucks your head beneath his chin. 

“You okay?” he asks softly, pressing his lips to your forehead.

You whimper in response, shaking your head.

He sighs, running his hands soothingly up and down your back, content to just hold you, to be whatever you need him to be. After a moment, your hold on him eases, fingers untwisting from his shirt as you slowly pull away. When you meet his gaze, there’s a sadness there he hasn’t seen before. He furrows his brow, hand reaching up to cup your cheek. You lean into it, seeking his touch like a flower seeks the sun. He swallows thickly as you melt against his palm, your eyes falling shut in contentment, and for a moment, he dares to hope.

He should say it, he thinks, say what he’s been denying for months, what he feels. 

I love you.

It’s on the tip of his tongue, his lips parting, air filling his lungs as he takes a breath—

A loud knock at the door cuts across the room, abruptly bringing you both back to reality. The words are still there, ready to fall from his lips but there’s panic in your eyes now—panic at being discovered like this, but also panic over something else. He watches you close yourself off, pulling away from him in more ways than one, and another piece of him breaks.

He shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t have done this, shouldn’t have said the things he said. 

Regret burns in his throat like acid and he can’t believe he almost told you, like somehow it could make up for coming here uninvited, for the things he said that hurt you. 

“I should go,” he rasps, not meeting your eyes as he tucks himself back into his pants.

You’re silent as you slip off the counter, pushing your skirt back down over your thighs as your feet touch the floor. Once he’s finished, he hesitates; he doesn’t want to just leave, not after what just happened, but he also can’t stay. Hell, he can’t even look at you right now.

“‘Night,” he says, throat choking on his words as he makes a beeline for the door.

He practically runs through the restaurant and back out onto the street, afraid you’ll follow him…and also afraid that you won’t. He’s never hated himself more than he does right now. What had he thought was going to happen when he went in there, anyway? Had he really thought that you were going to just suddenly confess that you had feelings for him too? You were on a date with someone else, clearly that’s not the case. Anger surges through him again at the thought of anyone but him putting their hands on you, of kissing you, of fucking you, of making you laugh, seeing you smile (your real smile, not the fake one he’d seen in the window)—

He stops walking, leaning up against the building he was passing as he tries to catch his breath, tries to keep his thoughts from completely spiraling. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, running his hands through his hair.

Not knowing what else to do, he heads home, intent on filling the empty hole inside him with the biggest bottle of whisky he has in his liquor cabinet.

Review (pretty please)?

🌟 Masterlist 🌟

i am no longer doing a taglist. please follow @charmingupdates for updates and turn on notifications.

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

I love your nanobomb hcs so much they need more recognition!!!!😤😤 Do you happen to have anymore? Maybe a bit of angst?

I WAS SO SCARED PEOPLE WOULDN'T LIKE MY HEADCANONS IF I ADDED THE ANGSTY ONES OMG THANK YOU

✨Angsty nanobomb✨

This one is a fanfic though, Idk what name to give

This fanfic takes place soon after Clove's arrival to the VP

My native language is not English so I used Google translator for lots of words, therefore, they might be incredibly misused (also, I can't put sentences on their proper order)

I will also post this on AO3, profile is yukasyukas, I'm still thinking about the title

Tayane had just came back from a mission in Icebox. The Brazilian had always had a hard time in missions there, mostly because of the weather, going from tropical country weather to cold, snowy was NOT easy, she had almost died while trying to get the omega Deadlock, who, according to her, had the weather advantage. Now she just wanted to take a warm bath and cuddle with her lovely girlfriend under the blankets, possibly while watching a movie and eating some snacks.

The girlfriend, though, had other plans.

When the duelist looked for Killjoy at the sentinels section, Chamber informed her that she was at the lab fixing something on her lockdown. She, then, proceeded to look in the engineering lab, where she found the German.

“Not now, Raze, maybe later?”

“There's nothing wrong with the lockdown, it was working perfectly the last time you used it”

“I know, but it can be better” the girl didn't look at the other's face while saying so

“Can't you do this tomorrow? I really missed you during the mission, poxa” (Brazilian slang for disappointment, discontent)

“Not now, Raze, I’ll go see you when I finish this, I promise”

“There’s nothing to finish if it's working fine!”

“Can you two please stop shouting? I'm working with a very delicate gadget right now” Raze hadn't noticed Deadlock until the woman talked. She seemed stressed

“Sorry, Iselin. Raze, can you please wait? I’ll talk to you, I promise” asked Killjoy finally looking at Raze

“Hm, sure” mumbled

“Thank you”

And with that, not really wanting to get the alpha Deadlock angry as well as the omega, Raze left and went to the duelist section. Maybe they’d want to watch a movie? Sunwoo would probably be down for it.

On the next day Tayane looked for Klara at the canteen. Nothing. ‘Maybe she's still sleeping?’ she thought to herself.

“Bom dia, Tayane” (good morning, Tayane) greeted a deep voice with a Norse accent from the nearest table

“Erik, hi” responded her as she sat down beside him “Kirra”

“Did something happen? You seem worried, mate” asked the second.

“Have you seen Klara? She doesn't want to talk to me since… well, since I left for mission three days ago”

“No, not at all, and I’ve been awake since 4 am, have you checked the sentinels section?”

“Not yet, I was expecting to see her here”

“Honestly, it seems like she's avoiding you. Hella toxic”

“I’m not breaking up just because she's stressed, Breach”

“I was just making an observation”

“Did anything happen that may have got her angry?” Asked Skye

After thinking for a while, Raze responded “We argued before I left… You know, all that Kingdom stuff. A friend of mine in Brazil said they've been trying to get access to Salvador again since I left and I was asking if KJ could do something about that… Do you think I went too far?”

“Honestly, kingdom has to go to hell, as well as all their workers”

“Breach, shut up” retorted both the women

“But he isn't completely wrong though, Kingdom has done damage in so many areas” continued Kirra

“I know, but talking about it with Klara, who's in such a high position there… She might've felt attacked? I mean, I was kinda attacking her. But I wasn't wrong.”

“I don't know, maybe you should ask someone closer to her, Cypher or Neon maybe?”

“Yeah, sure, thanks” thanked her as she got up

After talking to Neon, Cypher and Chamber, they confirmed Tayane's thoughts. Klara was angry and offended by what the other said.

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Offered Tala

“No, I'm good. I'm gonna talk to her later… as soon as I figure out where she is”

“Maybe on the lab?”

“Nope. Already checked there when I talked to Cypher”

“Well, then I don't know… the sentinels’ section maybe?”

“Still looking for KJ?” Asked Jett, who was on the couch right next to them

“She said she'd talk to me today, is she too mad?”

“Look…” a pause “I don't know”

“Wow, Sunwoo, very helpful” picked Neon

“At least I'm trying to help!”

“I'm gonna try the sentinels' section” sighted Raze “Hopefully she won't be able to dodge me if there's more people there”

The sentinels' section was on the other side of the floor, which meant Raze would have to walk all the way across the living room, where Killjoy and KAY/O were talking about some projects.

“It would indeed be ‘cool’, but it doesn't make my style, Killjoy, I'm sorry”

“Oh, c’mon, some fire could make you so much stronger! You could easily beat the shit out of Phoenix”

They didn't seem to have noticed the duelist arriving.

“Killjoy, can I talk to you?” asked Raze as she approached

The other ignored.

“Klara, can I talk to you?” Asked again

KAY/O was awkwardly looking at both while Raze tried to get Klara's attention

“I mean, sure you can take him on a fight but-”

“KLARA BÖHRINGER, CAN YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO ME?” shouted Tayane for everyone in the room to hear

“Jeez, there's no need to scream, Alves” complained Killjoy as she finally looked at Raze “I'm right beside you”

“Oh, really? It didn't seem like it a few moments ago. Why am I only relevant if I'm being loud? If I'm drawing attention to you?”

“That's not true Raze, you know you're always-”

“Then why have you been ignoring me?!” spitted her

“I haven't” replied her carefully choosing her words

At this moment, Raze was consumed by anger.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘I HAVEN'T’? I tried to talk to you before I went out to the mission four days ago, I tried again yesterday and you barely even looked at my face.” She spat “Why is it? Are you angry with what I said about Kingdom? Are you so arrogant you can't realize the damage they’ve done even conviving with people who are miserable because of them?!”

Killjoy was crying. Raze had never talked like that to her, she had never even shouted at her. They did argue, and a lot, in the past, but never to the point where Raze visibly showed her rage.

“Oh, crying are we?” Continued her “Why? Because your family was killed for Kingdom's interests? Because your sister is dying because of your work? Huh? Why?”

“Raze, I'm sorry!” She cried “I didn't… I don't…”

“Seriously, Klara, breaking down over things that don't affect you at all? Why just now? Why not five years ago, when Amir’s family all died? Why not when Kingdom took over Ryo’s home neighborhood and made all locals’ lives miserable? You had all the time in the world to cry, why only now?” at this point, Killjoy was begging Raze to listen to her “I'm gonna tell you why; you're not crying because you have sympathy for them, you're crying because I'm angry at you, because you fear you’ll lose someone you love. You ignored me for days after I told you some things that were true and now you think you deserve pardon for being careless about people's lives”

“Raze, I’m sorry, I didn't know any of that happened when it happened, I-”

“But you don't want to do anything to stop that from happening again either!”

“It's my job, Raze! I can't just turn my back from myself”

“Then die, Böhringer, die!” Shouted Raze as she slapped Killjoy’s face.

And with that, the woman walked back to the duelist section.

[bluelolblue]

21 & 25 for santino d’antonio for the ask game ? :]

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character?What's something you don't like?

Might gonna sound weird but in some fic's I like to give him trauma that he has to deal with (especially in the upcoming one), yk the childhood trauma. BUT I really just like to write him as a little angsty, bitchy but hella flirty asshole. And I also LOVE to write him being affectionate, like when he's needy and wants attention.

As for what I don't like? Hm... idk at the moment, I'm just throwing him into random events.💀

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

OOH my first impression! At first I was like "Hmm this guy kinda hot." When I was... what, 14 or 15 if not a little bit younger? I was mostly interested in John back then bc of Keanu Reeves, and my mom loves him too, so that's how I got into John Wick movies. But I was still eyeing Santino. He was a bit annoying, but I actually liked that abt him and uh... as I continued to watch it more and whenever it came on the TV and I got older, yk puberty hit me like a lot lmao, I was like "OH MY FUCK HELLO SANTINO YOU HOT FUCK" so yeah he made me realize that I like Italian language and Italy and ofc then I became obsessed with him and Riccardo Scamarcio. And now, as you can see, I'm still very much obsessed and hyperfixated on him. Yeah, it all started a few years ago and now I'm here being crazy :).

[taecnoal]

5 & 9 for an F/O of your choice :3

Doin this for DEELOOC :3

5. Do you have any headcannons on how your f/o looks? if yes, what are they?

Lord do I??

Diluc is buff at the least and fat at the most.

Hairy. Like a werewolf. All the hair - pit, tummy, facial...bush

Covered in scars, from his fight with Kaeya, Darknight Hero Escapades, and so on.

He has a lot of moles all over!!!

Lots of hair on his head and it's naturally very curly.

WHEN HE SMILES WITH TEETH HE LOOKS LIKE. i saw a video. i gotta get the screenshot/. like hes very handsome smiling but theyre always subtle so when he does it with teeth it gets a little weird.

has a septum he keeps flipped up. professionalism and all tht

9. Do you have any AUs for your selfship? Tell me about them!!

god i have so many jfc

In their original universe they (Anais and Diluc) are married and eventually have a kid his name is DJ and he's a gremlin.

highschoolers au! where everyone is a dumb stupid highschooler in love. they are only bfs in this au, my fav thing is that in this au Crepus (Diluc's dad) thanks Anais for making his son happy wah

Mermaid au! Anais is a mermaid and Diluc is a researcher studying him.

I also tend to make AUs based off of movies, so I also have a Frozen AU for them, and Tangled, and Aladdin, and Tinkerbell

social media au where they're both streamers! made this au with the ex wife so it included Scaramouche and Meilin but they would play games lime MC together and UNO and cook meals and stuff. Tbh this au was mostkly so I could argue with scaramouche...

college au where they're roomates! i actually have a doc lying around somewhere where i assigned majors and minors to different genshin charas

ogh god theres a band au somewhere but diluc is nogt in the band i think he was in a rival band if im not mistaken...

hella angsty fantasy au where monsters n hybrids are outlawed, with anais being a goat hybrid and diluc being a rich prince of some kind. also included kaeya, meilin, albedo, klee, and the archons.

royalty au! anais and diluc childhood friends to lovers type thing. diluc was a prince and anais was not but he was friends with meilin who introduced the two again after they grew up (i have so many aus with her jeeez)

cyberpunk auuuuu where anais is like an underground healer and finds a half dead diluc on his doorstep

i habve so many im sorry...diluc smile jumpscare under the cut, tw eye contact

Like please....please....i giggled so much look at him

[slutforstabbings-archive]

now i’m super curious, what’s ur hcs for alt!corey?

Alt!Corey Cunningham HC's

prompted by the conversation started here. Sorry this took so long!

tagging @rebel-blue @nachtmahr666 @vanellygal I never know who all to tag so if you want me to tag you specifically every time, please lmk!

Music:

Corey grew up listening to the radio and whatever music Joan put on. His mom is probably in her early 50’s in the movie, and she seems like one of those people who is terrible but likes and uses sweet nice wholesome things to hide behind, so she probably only listened to squeaky clean and boring pop music, and I think that would start Corey on a path towards heavy music, distorted music, music with dark themes, anything other than what Joan liked. He finds a lot of pop music to be insincere and he hates that.

WURG seems like an oddball station from what we hear of it in the movie and what it’s mentioned as playing in the book, so Corey definitely likes some punk and metal and garage just from the radio. But he doesn’t really know that’s what it is, genres and subcultures are kind of lost on him. And he doesn’t really realize he only knows music that’s 35-60 years old.

Personally as someone who grew up listening to a lot of oldies radio specifically, I know they’re really bad about identifying old songs cause they think you know the artist and title already. So I’m gonna go ahead and say for a lot of his life Corey doesn’t know the name or artist of most of the songs he likes, and he probably doesn’t realize he likes multiple songs from the same artist, so he doesn't have a favorite band. He has to learn to dig into a catalog and listen to full albums as an adult because that was never something he was introduced to as a child.

His mom obviously put heavy parental controls on his computer time, looked through his browser history, etc so I don’t think he was really able to explore his music taste probably until he got a smart phone and more privacy in his internet usage, which wouldn’t have been until he was an adult. I think Joan would have wanted him to have a phone so she could call him but would’ve kept him with a non-smart phone with no data until it basically wasn’t an option anymore, so he got his first smart phone when he was probably like 17-19, and that’s when his music exploration could really begin.

Even pre-accident Corey is sad and lonely and angry so he’s drawn to those lyrical themes. He has very angsty taste. But he also likes interesting time signatures and weird textures. He's a math and science guy and he thinks it's really cool when musicians approach their craft in a mathematical or experimental way. Post- Michael I think Corey recedes into the heaviest and most anguished parts of his music taste. Songs that used to make him cry, songs that pump him up, songs that he used to imagine were written for people much more badass than him, whatever that might be. Devastating vocal delivery, heart wrenching lyrics, chugging guitars, all three if he can get them.

BAND LIST (trying to go with the most popular examples so you can get the gist of the aesthetic I’m picturing lol):

From the Radio - Rolling Stones, Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Kinks, The Clash, Talking Heads, all the obvious legacy early metal and punk bands. 

Pre-Accident - American Football, Sunny Day Real Estate, Hum, Modest Mouse, Smashing Pumpkins, Descendents, Brand New, New Order, Mazzy Star, The Smiths, Hella

Post-Accident, Pre-Michael - Grunge big 4, but his favorite is Pearl Jam, Pixies, Melvins, Tool, Joy Division, Deftones, Sonic Youth, I Hate Sex, Garbage, Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails

Post- Michael - Electric Wizard, Windhand, clipping., Lingua Ignota, Full of Hell

Fashion:

I see a lot of different ages thrown around for how long Corey's mom dressed him, but novelization canon is he started dressing himself at 13. I think it's definitely still the case that his mom buys and picks out most of his clothes for a long time, but I think he slowly wears her down on letting him pick things until his wardrobe is mostly his choices filtered through her. But because of that filter it's still never quite him.

When the other kids started getting into subcultures, Corey watched with envy. He didn't have a particular favorite style, and he wouldn't have known what to call it if he did, he just liked the idea that you could say something to the world with your clothes, and draw people who agreed with you to you and push people who didn't away. The idea that you could form a community around how you dress. All he wants is community.

Corey's never really considered tattoos or piercings because he knows his mother would absolutely lose her mind if he "damaged" himself that way. The only thing he's thought of is that his dad had a tattoo of a duck, so maybe he could get a tattoo of a duck in the same place. I think that if Corey was more interested in tattoos than that , pre-accident he would be a black linework only kind of guy, he wants to be an engineer, he likes the kind of sparse, design-y, almost technical drawing aspect of plain linework tattoos. Post-accident, pre-Michael, he' definitely an American Traditional/Neo-Trad guy. It's straight forward, it's classic, it's low-key. Post-Michael Corey is the kind of guy who gets big blackout stripes or brush strokes for the experience. Because blackouts hurt and because they make people, even other tattooed people, say why the fuck would you get that? Post-Michael Corey would also so get a prince albert sorry.

I can't see him wearing make up, even just eyeliner. Seems too pretty for him I guess, like he's an aesthetically simple guy in a lot of ways, and presents in such a casual masculine way, it just doesn't seem like him. But I can see him painting his nails black every once in a while. Not any other colors but black for sure.

[vwritesawholelothm]

Here’s the prompt for the second part of teh Toralei whump series

sksksksks would you wanna make a part three? A seperate thing where it’s like. Months later. Toralei and Clawdeen are together. And as they’re like snuggling in bed Toralei randomly feels safe enough to confess all the emotional trauma she went through? Cause she like somewhat doesn’t believe Clawdeen could love her cause she doesn’t know how pathetic she acted or something. And by saying it she thinks it’s gonna push Clawdeen away. Get her to realize toralei isnt good enough or something? But she doesn’t and just. Comforts her and lets her cry. Fiebdubeidnsidnw

I will say. Just a couple things to note that need to be included jsut for plot transition purposes. Toraleis gotta mention somewhere that the witches weren’t actually killed in the witch hunt. Her mom just sent them for appearances, but they really just brought them back here so they could be dealt on their own land. Cause her mom wasn’t about to murder five witches and attract both the monster and human council of Scaris. In alliance with the monster treaty. They can bring back treasoners to their own lands to be dealt with. Catarina didn’t tell the werecommunity on purpose cause she didn’t want to seem weak/and that she was afraid of the Scaris council. But basically all they’ve done is throw the five witches into confinement for the time being. They’re not being dealt with or anything. Just kinda staying there. Catarina does not care enough to do more then that.

ok! Sorry. Had to get that out. Just cause in my fic I mention them killing the witches. Then in yours their very much alive and in trial lol?

Anywho! The prompt! It’s very very angsty. Cause you gotta remember Toraleis kept completely silent about the emotional aspect till now. Clawdeen probably knows she’s been hiding something about it for a while. As you can’t just hide something like that and appear normal. Anyway, laying in bed and wrapped in Clawdeens embrace is probably gonna be the safest Toraleis gonna feel in ever.

and this is gonna be hella hard for her. She’s kept this in because of the paranoia that if she tells someone. She’s gonna be ostracized. Humiliated, probably even disowned. Cause in her head, crying and begging like she did is the weakest thing she could have done. And somehow allowing herself to take comfort from the enemy really fucks her up deep down. Cause she said stuff that hit way to personally in a time she was most vulnerable. She feels pathetic. Cause she legitimately clung to Meghana like a child. Because of her stupid fear of thunder. It’s just. The idea that, this is the person who’s stabbing her. Who’s torturing her. But she’s also giving her hugs and saying sweet words and it’s too conflicting for her mind to process.

Just. Extremely emotional baggage and angst. She definitely thinks Clawdeens gonna hear this and wake up and be like ‘wow you are pathetic’ and leave her. Oh. She’s probably saying this now cause Toralei is realizing hust how safe she feels. And if Clawdeens ever gonna leave her it’s gotta be now cause she wouldn’t be able to recover if it took any longer.

Ok! Their sorry! Just had ti add in all those extra details! Cause Toralei has her own problems which each of the witches in her own way. Joan and her violence. Iza and his calm cruelty. Meghana and her manipulation. Ect.

And their! I’m done for real now lol

[bertinworms]

i got a request earlier this week and im getting ready to write for it, but i cant write anything until i get caught up with school.

but BECAUSE i cant write anything, i have so many different ideas just swirling in my head for multiple Tangerine x Reader pieces.

and because i dont think anyone will see/acknowledge this post, here are the hints/prompts to GET THEM OUT IF MY MIND SO I CAN STUDY FOR MY BIO EXAM:

• bookstore reader x tangerine who’s an avid reader bc he travels so much

• agent reader who’s paired/friends with lady bug on a mission x tangerine — this is after bullet train movie, tan still finds ladybug annoying. meets reader on a mission, doesnt realize that theyre paired with ladybug. cue ladybug and lemon teasing reader and tan about the flirting

• reader x tan — reader is at a club or something for an event for a VERY VERY EXTREMELY rich friend who’s the child of a very important man. tan and lemon were hired to ensure that rich friend’s party clubbing isnt interrupted by people trying to get to said friend to try and blackmail their father. tan is suspicious of reader and somehow gets them alone and is interrogating them. tan doesnt realize that reader is acting HELLA sus only because they find tan attractive. lemon finds them, tells tan to chill tf out and lets reader go back to the party.

• an angsty piece where tan and lemon and reader go see the new john wick movie bc the boys LOVE the series, but like pointing out what really would and wouldn’t happen and how THEY would do the job more efficiently because theyre in the same/similar line of work. reader obviously like hearing about it bc it makes them very nervous for the boys

• i so badly want to write part 2 of New Opportunities because i WANT TO WRITE THE DATE BETWEEN READER AND TANGERINE

in conclusion: i need to hurry up and finish my uni work and also the Fruits need to leave my head

[ikiprian]

[breaks down my own door] so i hear there's a chance to talk about the bats!!!

if you're asking "which of the Bats has died and been revived with the Lazarus Pit?" then do I have an answer for you!

the answer is: ehhh [handwavey] some of em! kinda! kinda-sorta-mostly. in some universes, these guys totally get revived by the Lazarus Pits! how much this impacts whatever canon you're basing your fic off of, that's all up to you, though. to canon comic writers, most of these deaths and revivals don't count!

Alfred was revived in the Fox show Gotham, which doesn’t quite follow any comic continuity but was honestly a cool scene. kid!Bruce stabs him while mind controlled and its oodles of angsty fun. then kid!Bruce breaks the mind control, takes a cup, dips it in a Lazarus Pool, and pours the waters over Alfred's stab wound to heal it.

Alfred also gets revived in the Injustice Universe and it’s like, the saddest shit ever. he’s revived by Ra’s to fuck with Bruce, then he’s brain dead for a while, and then he regains himself, and then he decides he’s of no use to Bruce anymore in his half-aware state and leaves the manor permanently. (highly rec Injustice if you want to check out Damian’s sister in this universe, Athanasia! but its all pretty sad)

Dick gets revived by one in the DCAU, the Apokolips War movie, but he goes absolutely bananas after (another sad one!). then all that gets erased with some time travel courtesy of the Flash so idk how much it counts.

(fun to note, Dick ALSO gets killed in the Injustice Universe! Damian throws one of Dick's escrima sticks at him, causing him to fall and and break his neck on a rock. Dick isn’t revived iirc :( rip Injustice, you’re interesting in your own, edgy way)

Bruce was revived by one in Birth of a Demon in like the 90s after being stabbed with a shovel? so actually depending on which continuity you follow for comics, this totally counts!

also in one of the video games, Gotham Knights, Bruce dies and is revived via Lazarus Pit at the end! he immediately hops into the batplane, though, pilots the aircraft into the pit to destroy it, and dies a second time. (iconic, in a way)

Damian does die in New 52! Heretic hella kills him. he’s not revived via Lazarus Pit though-- Heretic killed him too good for that to work, even when Ra’s tries to resurrect Dami via classic pit dunking. instead, Bruce steals his corpse back and uses a Chaos Shard (no relation to Sonic the Hedgehog’s Chaos Emeralds), which grants wishes!

TL;DR: some of them are Pit-revived, in various other universes! but they’re not all Pit-revived in the same universe, and most of them don’t do very well (or live very long) post-Pitting. Cass and Jason are two whose Lazarus revivals really stick, and whose revivals are pretty easy to keep consistent across continuities, which makes them distinct and easy to incorporate into any patchwork canon you'd wanna base a fic on! (and also 90s bruce can be there too, i guess)

(post is open to elaboration! if I forgot any, or fucked something up, feel free to let me know and send a source so I know what I should be adding to my comic to-read list!!)

yeah yeah, jason todd’s dip in the ecto-lazarus pit changed something in him irrevocably, enough that he feels a resonance with fellow living-dead danny we’ve all been there

but you know who else has been killed and was revived by the lazarus pit? another member of the batfamily, a fellow hero, world class fighter, stubbornly believes in second chances and redemption? cassandra motherfuckin’ cain

[rhazimpulsivelyposts]

“Is her ♐️ the one who fcked her up?”

I mean, my ♐️ definitely made me no longer want to live with a romantic partner. Like I legit don’t really want to ever live with someone I’m romantically interested in again because I see parts of them that are super unattractive, and I never wanna see a man too comfortable with me again. And my ♐️ mixed with my medication helped me see that I don’t really believe in monogamy anymore. I really don’t believe humans can continue to be satisfied by the same person for long amounts of time. People get bored and people want something different . He watched porn, I started to have a wandering eye when I stopped being physically attracted to him. But he doesn’t get the #1 Trophy of “who fcked up Rhaz”, that goes to my Druggy ♓️.

When I was 13 I met my older cousins new Metal skinny hot best friend. I was still the “younger cousin” and they were 6 years older than me so I was just a child to him. I had SUCH A CRUSH bro. I would hope I’d run into him in the hallway, or that I’d get to go swimming with him so I could show off my body “I’m not a child!” (Yes you were 🤦🏻‍♀️). One time my older cousins invited me to sit in a car with them while they hot-boxed it, and I got to sit next to him, he made a “hot and sticky” joke and I was so nervous that I got super nauseous and ended up hella sick in the bathroom. “Way to go Rhaz, super cool, you can totally hang with the big boys huh?”

When I was on the tail-end of 17, he was going through a breakup with his girlfriend of 4 or 5 years and he finally saw me as an option. He was 23 and I was 17 😑. Looking back on it, really not great. And everyone allowed it. My cousins, my aunt, my father.

We went to the movies, and I had never been SO NERVOUS around a man, and I have never been this nervous since. I was legit almost hyperventilating the whole time and he kept asking me if I was ok and I had to be like “yeah I just am super nervous and can’t breathe 😳😅” which I guess he thought was cute because it didn’t ruin the vibe. He tried to be a good boy and not fck me until I was 18 but I’m not a good girl.

Like a month or two into us dating I asked him if he wanted to take a shower with me, he’d never showered with a girl before. How? You are older than me and had a live in girlfriend? That’s weird? I made him actually shower though. “Don’t touch me, this is a shower, just because I’m in here too doesn’t mean don’t shower” it was sooooo hot. We made it the whole shower with 0 touching , when we got out of the shower I sat up on the counter and started kissing on him until he was too close not to put it in. That moment will stick with me forever. Huge! 🥴😳 painful. Aggressive.

He cuddled me always, running his fingers down my back and then dragging his nails up my back digging in deep. He played guitar and bass, and was good. Him and my cousin used to play music together and it sounded amazing. I used to have a video of them playing Call Of Kathulu but I don’t anymore. He watched anime with me for HOURS straight. He was into art. He was into cars. His music was Rap and Rock and angsty angry boy sht.

But he knew I liked opiates from overhearing me talk to my aunt about missing taking norcos with my drug dealer ass ♊️ ex. He also liked norcos. He liked that he had someone to enjoy drugs with in me.

He didn’t have a car and I didn’t have a car, he was going to get a job in Roseville while living at my aunts and I told him that if he did that, we would have to stop dating, because I don’t want to have to take the bus hella far every week or weekend or when ever to see him and I don’t wanna do long distance. He saw this as an ultimatum that made him angry with me. It’s not an ultimatum I’m just stating that if you live up here and get a job up here and it’s hard for us to see each other, I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I think that was reasonable even to this day. He chose to move in with me and get a job in my area. He lived with me at my dad’s and Grandmother’s house . Because he through such a fit about the “ultimatum” I asked my dad if it’s ok if he doesn’t pay rent and we buy our own food. HE DIDNT PAY RENT or contribute to the household at all.

The next 4 years were filled with norcos, morphine, roxies, Oxy, mushrooms, acid, Molly, Klonopin, cyclobenzaprine, Xanax, weed, alcohol. We would use one drug till the tolerance got too high and then cycle to the next one to help us come down off the first one. The first time I started taking OxyContin and we were out, he left me to come down ALONE , to go hang out and care for his male friend who was also a druggy. I had never had such bad come-downs I was afraid! I was annoyed and sick! He made up for it later. I guess.

Then one day I brought home adderall. He told me he had an issue with it in highschool but he didn’t emphasize to me any time of addiction? We took it and it had a blast. We stayed up all night cuddling, fcking, and watching “Australia’s Deadliest Creatures” on Netflix . When we were out I thought “ cool that was fun, next!” But what I didn’t know if that his coworkers at the truss yard heard he liked adderall and started offering him meth.

He started doing meth behind my back. He started coming home and sleeping for hours and picking at his face but, we did that on opiates, I thought it was normal? Then he started accusing me of messing with the computer, which I didn’t do and didn’t understand what he was seeing or thinking I did to it. He started accusing me of cheating on him, when all I ever did was go to work at Starbucks or Sams Club and go home. I spent all my time with him, he lived with me! If I hung out with coworkers at all after my shift he would blow up my phone. He would say he’s pick me up after work and then fall asleep and I’d have to walk or bus home and then he’d be mad I didn’t “call him enough” .

I finally told him I’m over how he is acting and “what the fck is your deal?!” And he told me he was doing meth and it was fcking up his life. He BLAMED ME! For bringing the adderall home. He told me he was trying to stop and that he just needed help and care for a while, SO I DID. He was already almost always tended to and pampered anyways but I tried to choke down my anger and disgust for him doing meth to help him out of it.

Instead of telling me when he was having cravings or was sick and not ok, he just started doing meth again behind my back. For another few months! Then he started getting violent. He would accuse me of cheating or lying and when I would argue back he would belittle me and call me names and back me into corners. He was driving me crazy! I had undiagnosed ADHD and was on painkilllers, my anger and rage was also pretty uncontrollable. I would throw things and yell. Our relationship became to toxic and scary. I watched as the man I loved since I was a child and a man I wanted a life with become this monster who dragged me down with him constantly to his level.

I couldn’t fcking do it anymore! After he shoved me into a desk, I started sleeping in the garage at night. I would have to lock the door because he wanted in there so badly. He would bang on the door and yell through it, and my dad would yell at him and tell him to fuck off. He would say things like “I know you have another man in there I can see it! I can see you sucking his dck you fucking whre! “ when I was legit just laying in makeshift bedding on the floor of the garage with my laptop playing YouTube or on Facebook. It was scary!

I told him that I couldn’t help him anymore and that I needed him to move out, but where was he going to go?! Am I really about to kick a man I love out on the street?! To be homeless?! While he is dealing with addiction?! Do I even love him? Do I have a heart? Am I abandoning him?! This STILL HURTS ME! I will never stop feeling guilty for this!

My ♌️ SAVED ME! She didn’t even know me. I was just some girl at work she decided to let stay on her couch for a few nights. She came and picked me up the last night I saw him for years. He broke everything in my room. He broke EVERYTHING!

He finally left when he figured I wasn’t coming back until he left. My aunt took him in, he left in my aunt and uncles garage for another year. He took advantage of their kindness. He continued to do drugs , not keep a job, he got a new druggy girlfriend to be toxic and abuse and fight with. They finally couldn’t take it anymore either and the kicked him out.

This last year I got a new job where I get to drive around for work, I would have to SEE HIM! Homeless! Begging! At an freeway exit. Weeks in a row I had to see his face out there!

This isn’t my fault! He is his own person! He made his own decisions! I don’t understand addiction, I’m sorry I don’t. I got off pills. I take kratom daily, which isn’t too much better but it doesn’t destroy my life and eat all my money and take away life opportunities for me. I didn’t make him homesless! He did that to himself ! He chose that ! I didn’t chose that for myself!

My ♐️ was someone who I could do drugs with for fun like this, and he didn’t get addicted, and he didn’t choose drugs over a job or having disposable income. My ♐️ was into music, and art, and cars, and good food, and video games. My ♐️ had a good sense of style (before he would gain weight and I wasn’t attracted to him physically anymore each time it happened ) . My ♐️ was always calm, never quick to anger or anxiety. It balanced out with my constant high-strung personality. We would go to events like concerts and raves, and take molly . Or take mushrooms or acid and just hang out and go for walks and look at graffiti. We would go to museums and art shows, and car shows. He used to be adventurous and fun, used to be. He will blame it on me never wanting to go outside anymore but I didn’t want to go outside anymore because I didn’t think he looked cute anymore and I didn’t want to be “that couple” where I thought one was hot and the other wasn’t. The “how did he get her” couple, which is gross and shallow of me but that’s just who I am ok. I’m vain. I take pride in my appearance. My ♐️ started out cuddly , then it was “it’s too hot for that” “you are hurting my arm/chest” “hold on I have to smoke” . My ♐️ was aggressive in bed, which I liked, but we stopped having sex often because I wasn’t initiating because I wasn’t attracted to him, and he would watch porn and blow his load and not be craving any actual physical intimacy anymore. He starved me of my love language completely for the last 3 or 4 years of our 6 years relationship.

So yeah, I don’t trust people, I don’t love people, I don’t want to be responsible for anyone, I don’t want my life decisions to affect anyone else’s life, I won’t stay with someone when they are struggling, I won’t stay with someone if they don’t stay physically attractive to me, sex and touch is a drug to me so if one person doesn’t give it to me I find someone else who will . People are temporary. Except my ♌️. I hope I never lose her. I hope I can be there for her if she ever needs me, but I know I could never be there for her like she is there for me.

I love the moments we share, but that’s what they are, “moments”, and one day you’ll change into something I don’t like, and I’ll walk away like I always do. “Next!”