#also jess this is the time for me to confess to you that i don't know your cat's name will you please tell me i'm so sorry.......

[wondrouswandering]

he's gonna get u

OMG I'M SORRY FOR MISSING THIS MESSAGE PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM

[elliexmylove]

✮˚｡⋆ferns and moths⋆｡˚✮

ellie x f!reader

sinopse: you colour in ellie's tattoo while hanging out which leads to something more

cw: making out, swearing , heavily implied smut, confession

i hate this ngl

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

the alarm clock beside your bed went off at six am waking you up for what would usually be patrol, the shifts had been recently changed so jesse replaced you. the day was free to you now so you stretched and sprawled out over your bed after turning the alarm off, for the next three hours you slept soundly.

a soft knock on your door woke you slightly, you only turn on your side, now being more comfortable than ever. the knock was louder the second time but not enough for you to really care in your sleepy daze.

knocking for a third time the person clearly did not care if you were sleeping as they banged on your door with their fist, "fuck." you mumbled, pushing yourself up onto your elbow taking a minute to open your eyes. eventually throwing the blankets off of yourself you were met with a chill, the person banged on the door again and continued as you strode to the source of sound.

the door swung open with force as you stood about to greet the person with annoyance, and ellie stood there, fist mid air, about to hit the door again. her eyes widened for a second in surprise until her eyes took you in, cosy plaid pyjamas, hair messy and tired eyes filled with irritation. a small smirk went unnoticed by you,

"hey,"

"morning," you rub your eyes and blink a few times, ellie crosses her arms in the cold,

"i knocked three times,"

"i'm aware."

"what the fuck! it's freezing out here,"

you look at the grey hoodie she's wearing,

"maybe you should have thought about wearing something warmer,"

"i thought you would let me in quicker,"

"why would you assume that."

"i dunno, cause you care about me or whatever,"

you raise your eyebrows with an expressionless face, staring at her,

"yeah okay, come in." you finally decide.

you now notice the snow softly falling outside.

"oh my bad." you laugh

ellie shuts the door behind her and walks to your bed as you're already sitting down, "what's up?" you ask as she takes her shoes off and sits on the bed with her legs crossed getting comfortable,

"i dunno, i thought we could hang out cause we don't have patrol today."

"yeah i just thought we would both sleep in first."

"we can, i just wanted to spend time with you."

you nod with a smile and get back under the covers, ellie does the same, as you get comfortable and stretch your arms above your head, resting them there, "sorry bro i'm just really tired,"

ellie's hand falls onto your face as she lies next to you with her eyes closed letting you know it's okay and to shut up because she's tired too.

you start to fall asleep again almost instantly until ellies body sprawls across your bed, taking up almost all of the space and you groan, "get on your side of the bed." you kick her under the blankets, she softly smiles but doesn't move.

after drifting to sleep again your head turns to the side, squinting to see the time, only thirty minutes had passed, ellie's legs were tangled with yours and there was no space on the bed for you, your mind wandered to pushing her off the bed and you found yourself smiling evilly at the satisfaction in your mind.

while you were picturing shaking her back and forth her head turned toward you, eyes closed and fast asleep. you turned toward her, oxygen no longer filling your lungs as much as it should while your breathing slowed to almost a stop.

her eyes looked so peaceful and pretty as she slept, your eyes dragged down her face to her lips, slightly chapped from not drinking enough water, which you were also guilty of. one strand of hair lay across her freckled skin, before you knew it your fingers tucked it behind her ear leading you to almost choke on your own spit as her beautiful eyes slowly opened, her face lit up in a soft smile.

shiiit you'd hit that

beside you ellie sat up cracking her back and neck, your hands held your cheeks feeling how warm they were. "you slept for long enough now?"

"yeah."

"wanna do something or?"

"sure, you wanna sketch again or something?" i'm cool with just listening to music."

she shrugs and frowns in thought, "yeah, you got a sketchbook or something i can use?"

without saying anything you get off the bed on your way to get the paper and your walkman, ellie reaches over to smack your ass,

"ellie." You groan in frustration as she chuckles amused.

skimming through the pages of your sketchbook filled with doodles you make sure there's a clear page for ellie to use, you'll probably colour in her drawings because you can, so the colouring pencils that have been hiding under your bed for months are about to be disturbed. you pick up the walkman from the table and bend down to look under your bed, seeing the pencils in a container, along with markers.

the bed bounces after you jump on it and you reach your arms out as if to calm the movement,

ellie takes the sketchbook from you and gently smacks you on the head with it, your instincts kick in as you hit her arm, in return you get punched in your arm twice making you wince but only getting you more riled up, ellie gets tackled onto the bed letting you hear her beautiful laugh, she wraps her arms around you tightly as your body fights to get out of the tight grip, the need to beat her up is strong but she's stronger.

Your teeth sink into her arm as you bite her, "ow! what the fuck!" she half laughs in surprise letting you go, she looks at the clearly visible teeth marks in her arm. you then notice her tattoo and look to your markers, a plan made in your mind.

"el can i colour in your tattoo?"

"no! you just bit my arm."

"i've done it before so like, what's the issue here exactly."

she chuckles and nods, "yeah sure." granting permission.

no time was wasted as you begun colouring in, bent down to her arm focusing intently, one of your hands holding her arm in place while the other was carefully colouring the fern dark green.

she stared down at you not planning to look away, your hand on her arm made her feel something deep in her stomach. your breath fanned gently across her skin and her gaze burned holes through your head, the mood quickly changing.

your hand accidentally smudged the ink outside the edge, "shit sorry," you apologise, "you good or do you want me to stop?" once you look up your met with her eyes fixed on you.

"don't stop."

you frown slightly confused at her tone but continue anyway.

your hand gently grips her arm again, she looks at your hair and begins to play with it with her free hand, twirling it around her finger. "what're doing?" you murmur,

"playing with your hair." she said softly

"it feels nice."

"yeah?"

you were careful next to the outline of the fern, making sure not to colour outside the lines in the last bit, sitting up and shuffling over ellie quickly lifted her hand out of your hair unhappily

"dude."

"what? i'm just getting a different colour for the moth, i didn't think you enjoyed playing with my hair that much." you laughed getting a brown marker.

once back in position you looked at ellie who was already staring at you, your eyes glanced down to her lips for a second then focused back on her eyes.

"fuck."

your body heated up slightly, the situation seeming different now. ellie's eyes glared at you relentlessly and without realising it, you licked your lips as they suddenly felt dry, ellie now stared at your lips after you unknowingly drew her attention to them.

silence filled the air and your body grew very hot, you inched closer and her eyes flickered back to yours, "what're you doing?" she said lowly, you felt your stomach flip as you stared directly into her eyes.

"you do know i really fucking like you right?"

"aw. that's so sweet."

her voice alone made your stomach twist into knots.

the silence became agonizing and you didn't know what to do, after a moment she seemed to recognize what you were feeling and stopped teasing,

"i like you too,"

"i really, really like you." she breathed out leaning and crawling on top of you, those words were an understatement for the both of you, you two had liked each other two years ago this was way more than that now.

you sighed as you felt one of her hands rest behind your neck and the other gently cup your cheek, your lips moved together slowly, ellies tongue slid across your lip asking for permission to which to opened your mouth for her, the slow kiss turned into gentle urgency.

minutes went by making you pull away for air, keeping close to her face, the soft feel of her breath fanning over your lips.

"i've wanted to do that for so fucking long y/n."

"really?" You smile sweetly at her confession,

"yeah," she breathes out mirroring your smile

"and i wanna do it more."

she straddles you, tucking the strand of hair behind her ear as she looks down at you. taking no longer than a minute to admire you she answers your silent plea and leans down to kiss you.

a small moan slips out before you can stop it when ellie accidentally moves on you, her eyes widening,

"sorry i didn't mean to-"

"shh, shut up."

"ahh ellie what're you doing?"

ellies lips are now on your neck, making you sigh. "is this okay?"

"yeah- mmphfuck,"

ellie bit down, you lean your head back giving her better access and closing your eyes, she softly licks over the bite to soothe it.

you move under her rubbing against her jeans making her curse quietly, "can i uhm, take your pants off?" she looks at your face carefully, looking for any signs of discomfort. "yeah okay." You smile and lean up to kiss her, "you're sure?" she breaks away to ask, "it's okay if you're not ready i don't wanna rush anything i just-"

"ellie, i want to."

she looked at you unconvinced,

"i don't wanna just fuck you, i want to be with you."

you nearly passed out, giggling internally and kicking your feet,

"i wanna do both."

she raises her eyebrows at you, surprised at your confidence.

"then let's do both."

you lifted yourself half off the bed assisting her in taking your pyjama pants off, she stared seemingly out of it for a second then licked her lips and placed them on yours, hand reaching down under your underwear.

[saturnmosaic]

succulent berries nestled in the yard.

pairing : ellie williams x female reader

synopsis : ellie, your wife, gives your cat away, out of envy or circumstance, you can't tell. leaving behind the past, you and your wife move into a new home. but with a relationship on the brink of ravage, the house seems to harbor sinister forces. and with the insatiable hunger for berries you discovered in the yard, things crumble rather fast.

warnings : pussy eating, mentions of miscarriage, animal deaths, blood, cannibalistic yearning, figures/ creatures sorta?? haunted house.

wc : 1.8k

a/n : um yeah...it's kinda bad and not executed well but i wrote this during the week of my exams, can you blame me? also i got kinda lazy during sum bits sooo

betrayal lingers in the car, stirring amidst the crisp air of the AC. the tapping of the rain against the mist covered windows, like the rhythmic pumping of your ruptured heart, does no good to the gnawing feeling inside you. how could she have given away your blythe. the tiny creature always so nimble on her feet at the call of her name, so fond of seeking slumber on your lap.

you’d found her on a similar day like this— grey hues enveloping the sky, water droplets crashing the tender and moist earth with all their might, and the rumbling of thunder in the distance. amidst all that chaos, her meek meow had stood out. her black fur was sleek with the heavy rain, and her belly was smeared plum dark.

you’d taken her home on an impulse. time and medical care healed her. and she had healed you. a lovely year spent with her, reminiscent of a lilac bloom in the summer. but now she was gone, taken away from you by your own wife. your own wife! a blasphemy.

"are you still mad at me? we had no other choice." aventurine eyes dart away from the distorted road to get a glimpse of you. your eyes still bleary and bloodshot, hair ever so tousled, and the silk of your dress embracing your petal-like skin. a bittersweet sight.

"don't say we." not even a glance spared her way, the face you’d seek for in every room you entered, now a face foreign and surreal.

"oh come on, she was sick anyway. it was only a matter of days before she died!" her temper, planted in her like a tempting hydrangea, speaks before her rationale can articulate words, knuckles gripping the charcoal leather of the driving wheel.

"she was not sick."

she sighs, the guilt of her deed looming over her like a sickly, withered willow. “baby, we both know she was and i’m really sorry but we can’t do anything about it. we’re moving to a new town, a new house. bringing her with us would be..a burden. besides i’d rather you not witness her death, i don’t wanna see you suffer like that.”

“i’m already suffering, aren’t i?”

“well, what the fuck do you want me to do, huh? i’m just trying to do what’s right. a-and it’s like i’m always second to that cat!”

the confession, lays bare like an ornate scroll, and makes you ponder if envy was the cause of it. but was what she said entirely fallacious? maybe you had been giving blythe more attention that she’d felt frivolous in your eyes.

“just- i’m sorry, okay? but i promise jesse will take good care of her.”

silence ensues, and soon the quaint house surfaces into your eyesight. the rain and dusk obscured it's intricacy but from what you could make out, it was painted in warm whites and browns, with ivy weaving up the sides and windows curtained in white lace.

…

a house is a body, your mom used to tell you. a haven meant to be worshipped in return for solace and warmth. this house became your body. its walls were alive in the daylight, screeching and beckoning for something while ellie was at work. it fed on your sorrow and resentment like a famished beast, stripping them away to procure life. your heart was indented in these walls.

the house would foist bad omens on whoever visited. aunt daphne had a miscarriage, the frail thing of a baby was bled out on the black and white tiles of your bathroom. it stirred memories of your own miscarriage, and ellie thought that was the reason you leaned so heavily on blythe, loving her as though she were your own child. when uncle luke visited, his golden retriever was found dead in the yard, leaves sitting idly on its fur like an atonement.

ellie wasn't one to believe in curses or anything remotely superficial, but she'd felt something innately sinister residing in the hollow of the house. she wanted to move, but moving away meant leaving behind your body, so you stayed, which compelled her to stay rooted to the house too.

…

on a sunny morning, beads of sweat kissing your skin, damp hair heavy under the sun’s gaze, you’d been lead to the brambles in the yard by the house itself. the raspberries were glistening and plump with saccharine juice.

they might’ve been tainted with fox piss, so you gather them in a dainty basket and slip back into the confines of your home to wash them. the water from the tap cascades down onto the fruits in your hand, ridding them of the insect debris and other dirt.

a tatted arm snakes its way around your waist and a head heavy with sleep rests on your shoulder. it had almost slipped out of your mind that it was a weekend.

ellie's other arm reaches out to turn the tap off and put the dampened raspberries away from your hand. without warning, pearly whites bite down on your neck and her tongue flicks out to languidly soothe the bruised splotch.

a carnal desire courses through your veins. ever since you moved here, and ever since blythe was no longer in your gentle arms, words barely existed anymore. and sometimes silence felt like a human presence, mocking the insubstantial souls around it. without words, sex was your salvation.

she turns you around to hoist you up on the counter, shadows smudged under her eyes. she'd come back from work late last night, you figure.

her calloused hands are on your thighs, pushing them apart with a fervor. a similar fervor that'd paint itself on her whenever you showed her a hint of normalcy. your hands still in her tousled hair, as the velvety pads of her fingertips tug your underwear off.

her knees hit the marble tiles, warmed by the sunlight streaming in through the kitchen windows, as she lifts the fabric of your dress up, a gentle rustle against the morning ambience, revealing your slick folds.

her tongue teases your weeping cunt, one hand clutching the dress up and the other resting on your thigh. you whimper in desperation, pushing her head further.

“ellie..”

she pats your thigh in response, fucking you with her warm muscle, feeling your insides devour it with a hanker. noises flow out of your mouth as smoothly as the tranquil descent of a waterfall, as your fingers dig into her scalp.

a sultry moan muffles into your hole, and she pulls back, the taste of you lingering on her tongue.

“what the fuck? why’d you-” your whine is silenced by the solace of her lips. her tongue slides into your mouth and presses against your own, slick and insistent. your own taste dissolves into your mouth, mending with your saliva.

you bite the soft pillow of her lower lip, drawing crimson liquid and earning a throaty noise from her. somewhere between a moan and a grunt.

“babe..” she lowers her gaze in an attempt to catch sight of the fresh blood. before she can wipe it away with the pad of her thumb, you lick the red off her pillowy cushion of flesh.

the taste is seraphic as it sits on your taste buds, a pure bliss, like thyme on a wound. the sensation of her tongue back inside your clenching walls heightened this feeling, if not subdued it wholly. but the taste still lingered.

her fingers soothe your swollen clit, circling around it as if afraid it’ll be seized from her grasp someday.

she laps at every drop of juice that manifests, like she’d done to your tears, as a fatuous inside joke, a long while ago. so long, she can’t remember if it was a hazy dream.

“fuck. i’m so close.”

her mouth pulls away when you reach your pleasant climax, her fingers still on your clit, helping you through your high. your hands go limp in her hair, and she languidly wipes the glistening slick from her mouth and chin with the back of the hand that releases your bunched dress.

...

the berries stay forgotten until the next morning, when it’s delicacy is withered and rotten away under the exposure to air and temperature. you throw the shrivelled fruits away and pick several more.

the new ripe ones sit snug in a ceramic bowl, alluring and tender. you feast on ten, eleven, twelve, and then the count numbs in your brain. the fluid so grossly alike to ellie’s blood, makes you delirious. it’s utterly enthralling, the juice dripping down your chin, its sticky residue settling on your skin. your teeth and lips and hands stained in a crimson hue, a crimson hue reminiscent of ellie’s blood. ellie’s blood. they chant themselves on the tip of your tongue.

spindled figures, engraved on the floors, long limbs and pulsing eyes, they seem to close in on you. the bowl is emptied, raspberries already in the pit of your stomach. the yearning grows in agony, an animalistic desire surging through the ivory of your bones.

you feel light like you’re meandering through the air, though you can feel the faces of the figures underneath your feet, something metallic making its home in your hand.

you blink and you're standing in your bedroom, ellie coddling her apatosaurus plushie, as her eyes stay fluttered. a vulnerability so immensely coating the room. the knife glides down her supple skin, the smell of meat stirring your senses. was her heart the sweetest part of her body?

"what the fuck are you doing?" her raspy voice cuts through your trance and suddenly the object in your hand feels foreign. with a sharp yank to your arm, the metal clanks on the marble floor.

"what is wrong with you?" ellie's gripping your arms, her face contorted with disbelief, shock and wrath.

"n-nothing." but something is. you both know. tears gush through your eyes, the salty pearls melding with the sweet smear of berries on your skin.

"god, it's this fucking house! we should've moved. fuck!" her grasp on your arms are gone, her hands fumbling for her phone. frustration envelopes her like a smothering blanket as she talks to demolition contractors.

your pleas fall on deaf ear, your mere presence as measly as a lamb. you let yourself be escorted out of the house, eyes sodden, red flickering in them, as you watch- watch the house your body collapse to the ground.

the berries come retching out of your mouth, along with a hideous flow of blood. the walls crumble and the world around you dances like an uncanny painting. sirens wail in the distance and layers of black pierce through your eyes, shutting them for slumber.

[totheblood]

jealous!ellie headcanons

a/n: these are modern headcanons sooooo... and this isn't jealous gf ellie, this is pining loser lesbian ellie... lol also super inspired by the talented @rxllingstones and @whore-era after reading their amazing fics tonight... pls go read them.. and for u fiends... there is ai audios at the bottom... more uploaded on sc bc tumblr hates me

ellie is incredibly hard to read

or at least that's what she tells herself

it's almost written all over her face how much she hates the people you date when she's in a five-foot radius of them

she tells herself she doesn't care (she's lying) but she can't ignore how her grip tightens when she sees you lip-locking some loser you met at a party

but she always finds herself at your side, pulling you away from them and back into the corner with her

"hey there, pretty girl. having fun?"

"i was until you cock-blocked me."

"there wasn't much to block... i heard his dick's small."

but the curse of having feelings for you was that you were always dating someone

it always comes up when the group goes out to dinner and the topic of who you're dating comes up

like it does every week...

"i actually really like him for you" dina shares, a genuine smile on her face

"yeah, dude's cool" jesse agrees, slinging his arm around dina in the booth

and then all the attention is on ellie as you stare at her with your wide eyes waiting for her approval

"what? you know you're not going to like what i have to say." she says taking a sip of her dr. pepper

yes ellie drinks dr. pepper

"cause you hate everyone i date!" you reply, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout

it was clear you were slightly tipsy but your face still made ellie smile

"yeah, cause you only date fucking losers." she would say smile on her face but anger blooming inside

ellie tries to be mature but she can't help herself

what makes it worse is that you really do date literally everyone except for her

so she doesn't really make an effort to be nice to the people you introduce her to

one time the same guy came around twice and all ellie could say was "oh it's this fucking guy again! hey man, glad to see you made it to a second date."

you scolded her after

but in her defense, you really are with someone new each week

until it's been three weeks and you're still dating the same girl

and ellie is a fucking mess

you started inviting her out to group hang outs and smoke sessions so ellie just stops showing up

she doesn't like the way it feels when her stomach flips upside down at the sight of you sitting on her lap, a beer in your hands

so she decides to opt-out, get high alone and avoid seeing you as much as possible

but it's short lived because your drunk ass is banging on her door

"ellie, let me in!" you yell over the tv playing from inside her dorm room. "i hear you watching shark tank!"

reluctantly, she gets up and opens the door for you

"can i help you?"

"yeah you can fucking help me. you can help me by telling me why you've been MIA for the last few parties. i miss you." you don't miss a beat and are already storming past her and sitting on her unmade bed

"you miss me? does arcadia know about that? you missing me?"

"is this seriously about you not liking another partner of mine? seriously ellie? grow up. you're supposed to be my friend and support me but you have done any of that?" it was obvious you had been hanging onto that for a while

she'd laugh but upon seeing your stone cold face her anger would rise

"oh, you're fucking serious. are you really that blind? you really think i want to be your fucking friend? i mean, my god i couldn't have made it clearer for you. i like you! like actually like you, like i want it to be my lap that you sit in. not hers. every person you have ever dated i have wished was me! but nooo, you just don't seem to notice."

she doesn't even realize it but she's shaking

she's actually just confessed her three year crush on you without even thinking about it

"ellie..." you begin, a worried look all over your face

"no, i don't really have it in me to get rejected by you tonight so please just go." she cuts you off, unable to meet your eyes

but then you're there next to her holding her shaking hand

"i'm not rejecting you, ellie." you whisper

"you're not? what about your little girlfriend."

"this might be absolutely toxic of me to say but... she's not you." you giggle

"you're absolutely right it's fucking toxic to say that…. but it's also EXTREMELY fucking hot."

ai audios:

extra ai audios:

there wasn't much to block..

oh, it's this fucking guy again!

oh you miss me?

you're not? what about your little girlfriend

you're right it's toxic to say that...

[ciaomarie]

ESCAPING INTO A SHIP

So what exactly made me latch onto the Sydcarmy ship like a leech on a water buffalo?

It was unexpected (for me)! Yes, the very first meeting between Syd and Carm did make an impact. I thought "Oooh, what's this?!" However, Carmy was/is such a mess that I quickly dismissed it. And Sydney just seemed to want his professional approval and a partner in making something great after the soul-crushing failure of Sheridan. So, the first season I personally didn't feel a mutual sexual/romantic tension, more like an automatic respect and shared goals/passions. Sydney nor Carm were obviously trying to flirt. Most slow burns on TV are 100% obvious like a Jeanine and Gregory (Abbott Elementary), Nick and Jess (New Girl), Jake and Amy (Brooklyn 99), Jim and Pam (The Office)...Until Braciole Ep. 8 that is.

S. 1 Episode 8- I won't get into everything but Carmy was desolate. Yes, he became a psycho chef and two people quit in Ep.7. However, he mourned Sydney more than Marcus. She was in his flashback/nightmare (?), then the way he told Tina that she looked like Syd (the poor pup), him texting her before opening the note from Mikey, and finally the most gorgeous locked gaze scene since Pride and Prejudice (2005). The soft lighting, the music, the colors, the mind-reading...magical. I still didn't get it initially. Silly, blind me.

Mentorship where??? Season 2 Carm and Syd's "mentorship" dynamic is pretty much over. They are true partners and spending more time together. They're dressing alike even when not in uniform, finishing each other's sentences or talking in unison. Sydney is opening up more of herself and Carm is asking to know more. They use the ASL sign for sorry with each other and no one else until ep 10. Then there's that locker scene in ep. 1 or 2, when they almost hang out just cause. However, Carmy misses the moment and there's the return of the kicked pup face. Before being on the ship I was delighted with all of their scenes and was looking forward to the food tour. They just ROCK together on screen.

Classic Love Triangle- Who's Claire? She's "Claire Bear", the prototypical "cool girl", who is willing to chase an socially awkward, wrong-number-giving man, despite being a pretty ER resident with no shortage of options. Did a CW writer get hired? Anyways, why was her presence used almost exclusively to put strain on Carmy and Sydney's relationship instead of The Bear generally? We could have had scenes with Nat, Richie, and Marcus arguing with Carmy about him being distracted due to Claire. They saved 99% of that for Sydney. They CHOSE to insert her in between or just after scenes with him and Claire. Showing Sydney's tattoos and her getting dressed with the stained chef's coat juxtaposed with them was WILD.

I LOVE that both believe their interpersonal problems are solely about The Bear/business partnership. In most "slowburns" the characters are far more conscious and actively work to keep things platonic. Jeremy might be a smidge aware that Sydney means more to him after the panic attack, but I bet he's shoved it down. All he knows afterward is that being with Claire feels wrong hence ignoring her call and recommitting to SYDNEY. He could of said "You all/This/The Bear deserve my full focus etc..." He was also nagged into greeting Claire at Friends and Family, seemed anxious when Fak brought her up right before The Table scene, and also while explaining that "she's great" to Sydney. He was at peace when focused on Sydney in the moment below.

The actors: Jeremy and Ayo's real life friendship is warms my soul and their chemistry onscreen is amazing. DON'T WASTE IT!!!

Jeremy smolders on screen. I want to see Carmy continue to stare, yearn, fall, then eventually confess and for Sydney to reciprocate his feelings. Anyhoo, does anyone else melt when Carm means business?! They do this twice in season one and it's not good for me. Whew, I need to clean my whole house or run a few miles.

Finally, there's so many other parallels between these two. They are fearful avoidants, have a missing or dead parent, jacked up stomachs, use sarcasm, but are generally very earnest, they struggle with anxiety, are compassionate, are perfectionists, peace-makers, give people multiple chances, are workaholics...so much more. A lot of that is also ME, lol.

Sydcarmy is my Roman Empire. I love them as much as you can fictional characters and they deserve the most tender, angsty, triumphant, romantic best-friends to more love story.

[rooksunday]

fluffcember day twenty three: confessions

"Tell me again who taught you this game?" Echo asked as he watched Fives fishing for something beneath Jesse's bunk. "If Jesse comes back, I'm pretending we've never met, by the way."

"No one taught me. It's a game, not a— Where the kriff did Jesse hide the— Not a lesson, ahah!" Fives triumphantly waved the small bottle of disarmingly clear alcohol that he'd retrieved. "Found it!"

"I'll stop holding my breath," Echo said drily.

Fives rolled his eyes then rolled just as easily to his feet.

"Don't be boring. You said you'd play."

"I said maybe I'd play."

"You said— It doesn’t matter. We're playing. Move over."

Echo obligingly shifted over on the bunk to make room for Fives. They sat opposite each other, with Echo at the head of the bunk, because only his own ass should be so close to his pillow. Fives splayed his legs out long, one either side of Echo, and leant back on his hands.

"Right. Now first we—“

"Get your stinking feet away from my pillow!" Echo swatted at Fives' shins. "You know the rules!"

Grumbling performatively—he did, after all, know the rules—Fives moved to sit cross-legged instead. After doing so, he stopped and his gaze went toward the floor, his mouth twisting. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and kept not saying anything. The purloined bottle of liquor remaining unopened in the gap between his crossed legs.

Echo rested his hands on Fives' knees and tilted his head.

"Fives? What’s wrong?" he asked.

Because something was definitely wrong. Something had been wrong for days, it seemed like, but Fives had put off the question every time Echo had asked, saying only it could wait until they were alone.

Yet now they were alone and Echo was still waiting. His stomach twisted like he'd already slugged back Hardcase's protato liquor but his mouth remained dry as Tatooine.

Then Fives started to speak, and it didn't help Echo's nerves at all.

"I was gonna— It was gonna be a whole thing. The game, I mean. It's called 'Never Have I Ever', and you say these things you haven't done and if someone has then they take a drink." Fives finally looked up. His familiar grin was strange and lopsided. "I know everything about you."

"No you don't, " Echo protested weakly.

Fives' smile turned softer, for some reason. "Echo."

"Fives."

Instead of continuing the game of repetition that had, on more than one occasion, driven Tup to throwing his boots at them, Fives looked away again, this time to the liquor. He picked up the bottle and sloshed the contents.

"I was going to use my superior Echo knowledge and this bottle to try and find out how you feel about me. Don't talk. Let me finish. It was a coward's idea. An attempt to have some kind of shield of deniability if it all went wrong. But the thing is, Echo, I don't want to love you like a coward. That isn't the love you deserve." Fives swallowed. His face had gone dark with a flush that Echo was sure he also wore. "I love you, Echo. So, uh, so there."

Echo blinked.

He blinked again.

"Fives," he said. It was what he always said when he had no idea what to say.

"Echo," Fives said, impossibly gently.

Moments ago, Echo would have confidently said that he knew everything about Fives, the same way his twin had claimed to know about him. And yet…

Echo traced the familiar shape of Fives' face with his eyes. The ridge of Fives' broken nose. The slope of his brow. That strange, soft quirk of his clever mouth. The face that the clones all had and only Fives wore in that particular way. Echo's twin. The stranger on Echo's bed.

The man Echo loved.

"You're staring at me," Fives said, shifting in place. He swallowed thickly. "Do you want me to go? I can go. Yeah, I should go—"

"Fives."

"Ec—"

"I love you."

"—oh. Oh."

When their first kiss ended—via kisses two, three, and four—Fives managed to paste on a somewhat dazed version of his usual smug grin.

"Okay, so maybe I don't know everything! Like where you learnt to kiss like that."

Echo shoved Fives playfully, then followed him down to the bed, spreading his weight over Fives like a blanket. The abandoned bottle of liquor thudded to the floor.

Echo grinned. "Oh, I think I can show you a few more new things than that…"

All in all, it became a very educational evening for them both.

[zoeykallus]

Helloo

It‘s me again 👋🏼

I'm sorry to hear that life hasn't been good to you. It wasn't very pleasant to me either. My mother passed away from cancer.

But maybe someday we'll have better luck 🍀

Anyway i wondered how the Batch (maybe regs like Rex, Fives or Jesse but it’s totally up to you!) would react to their girlfriend telling them or finding out that she wants them to stay in armor while being intimate. In short them finding out she has an armor kink.

The armor is just so hot 🥵

Thank you for your work and have a nice day!

Aloha again, my dear!

I'm so sorry for your loss! Sending lots of love and strength your way! 💜💜💜 Hold on!

Update: I just read your recent ask and I have to say it really hit me hard. Hope you still get to read this one! I wish I could have done more... Thank you so very much for your support, it's much appreciated! You are so amazing, sending you all my love!

💕💕

And of course, here are your HCs, as requested 😊

The Bad Batch/Rex/Fives x Fem!Reader HCs - Armor Kink

Warnings: Strongly Suggestive/Sexual Content/Smut/Armor Kink/18+

_____________

Hunter

You haven't been close for a while, Hunter was away on a mission. When he returns, you fall all over each other making out before either of you can even say hello.

Hunter's fingers are quick and deft, seeming to be everywhere at once, perfectly stimulating each of your erogenous zones until they land where they are finally needed most, on your swollen clit.

Hunter loves to hear and see your reactions when he touches you, he is always fascinated and aroused by it.

He can smell you, your arousal your scent, his mind is full of you. Sitting on his lap his hands under your skirt, one of them in your panties, you begin to remove his codpiece.

Hunter moans as you stroke him over the blacks and finally free his hard length by pulling the fabric down a bit. As you remove your panties, he is about to start taking off the rest of the armor, but you stop him.

"No, don't. Don't take it off. Leave the armor on."

Hunter blinks in surprise and searches your gaze. Suddenly, he smiles.

"You're into the armor, aren't y- hnnngh…. fuck."

As you bring his tip to your gate and let him slowly enter you by sinking back onto his lap, you interrupt him.

You feel the armor plates against your bare skin as his cock is deep inside you. A wonderful feeling. Plus, he just looks hot in his armor.

You smile, befuddled by the arousal, nod and confess, "Yeah, I'm totally into your armor."

He likes that, he will take advantage of that fact more often in the future to get you hot. However, Hunter is also a very passionate person, now and then to feel naked skin on naked skin belongs to him like breathing.

Echo

He has just sat down, still in full armor. The two of you are alone. You surprise him by taking off your wrap dress and sitting on his lap, completely naked. Echo blinks and looks at you. A smile twitches at the corners of his mouth.

"From now on, you must always greet me like this," he says with a grin, and his hand begins to wander down your body, just like his lips.

As his armor coolly presses against your bare skin, and his lips travel along your neck, you feel yourself instantly becoming wet. Heat spreads through your body, a soft, irresistible tingling under your skin.

You pull off his codpiece, freeing his hard length, getting into position over his lap. As you sink down on top of him and his cock slides into your pussy, he moans into the kiss, "Hnnghmm…. Darling, I'm still in full gear".

"I like that…" you murmur back and take him in with relish, pressing yourself against his lap to feel the cool, hard surface of his armor plates.

You feel him grin into the kiss, then hear him say, "Good to know."

Basically Echo is open to anything you like, though perhaps cautious at times, he is always curious. He will try almost anything for you. And this little kink, he actually likes it quite a bit himself.

Wrecker

You're finally alone again; it's been a while since the last quiet get-together. Much too long for Wrecker's taste.

"Cuddle time!" he rumbles with a grin.

By that he doesn't just mean cuddling, also, but not only, and you know it. He already wants to start undressing, is really excited to finally have you to himself again, but you stop him.

Wrecker pauses, looking at you with disappointment out of wide eyes.

"No cuddle time?" he asks, pouting.

You smile slyly and undress in front of him emphatically, slowly, as his eyes begin to follow your every move.

"Oh, we'll cuddle," you say suggestively, "But you keep your armor on."

Wrecker frowns questioningly, he doesn't immediately understand what you're getting at, but he waits to see what you have in mind.

You reach for his codpiece and loosen it, starting to stroke his huge cock over the fabric of the blacks.

"This is the only thing you're allowed to take off," you finally reveal to him.

Two heartbeats later, a grin spreads across his face.

The playful giant joins in, of course. Now that he knows you like his armor, he regularly poses for you when he's in full gear as soon as your gaze wanders in his direction.

Tech

He's working very long hours again. The guys are on their way, only you and Tech stayed behind in the Marauder, and Tech has been lying under the console in the cockpit for hours. When you come in to check on him, he's still lying there, various tools around him.

He hears your footsteps and asks, "Did I lose track of time again, honey?"

"You sure did," you say.

He sighs, puts the tools aside and goes to get up, but you climb over him with a grin and push him back down. He drops back down and looks at you questioningly, his eyes widened behind the lenses of his goggles.

"What are you up to?" he asks, puzzled.

"Sex."

You take off his codpiece and push your skirt up a bit, so he can see you're not wearing any underwear, rubbing your heated lap against his hard length. Tech blinks several times and stares at the spot where your naked pussy touches his blacks. He instantly grows hard.

"I see…"

"Tech?"

He blinks again and looks up into your face.

"Yes?"

"Would you take me on the console, with your armor?"

You don't have to ask him a second time or explain yourself. This place and this pose are his favorite secret fantasy.

Crosshair

You don't even have to ask him for it. Crosshair takes every opportunity to get intimate with you, and unfortunately, it's not nearly as often as he'd like. In fact, he surprises you in the engine room of the shuttle, just as the others are on their way.

You hear the sound of the codpiece falling to the floor, before you can even turn around he has pressed up against you from behind, and you feel his hard cock pressing against your ass through the fabric of your clothes.

He kisses your neck, biting your earlobe. His hands almost feverishly open your pants and pull them down, along with your panties. Crosshair bends you over one of the machines.

"The machine oil," you say, more or less protesting.

"I'll buy you new clothes," he murmurs back, pulling off a glove with his teeth and sliding his fingertips along your thighs, beginning to stroke your wet folds, stimulating your pearl.

Finally, Crosshair pulls the fabric of his Blacks down a bit to free his cock and guides it to your wet cleft from behind. He penetrates you and with each thrust, you feel his armor plates hit your bare skin.

He bends down to your ear as he takes you and says in a suggestive whisper, "I know you like it when I leave the armor on".

Rex

One of the first things Rex does once he's off duty is to take off his armor. That's why you have to ask him to put it back on. As you're about to get intimate, and you do just that, he looks at you uncomprehendingly.

"You want me to put on my armor?"

"Yes, please," you say, biting your lower lip.

He blinks in confusion.

"But why?"

You hold out the codpiece to him and say innocently, " Except you're not supposed to wear this."

Rex blinks again, several times, then you see a soft blush creep into his cheeks.

"Oh, I see… If that is your wish"

So he puts his armor back on, as you asked, without the codpiece.

Rex is curious and always eager to please you, of course he does it for you.

As he is deeply absorbed in you, in full gear and taking you passionately, he hears you moan "Oh Captain".

And yes, somehow he likes it, more than he might want to admit at first.

Fives

He is passionate, every minute you have for yourselves, you cuddle, smooch or have sex, if it can be done preferably all together. Often he surprises you at your apartment door already smooching you up, while he comes in and presses you warmly against him.

Sometimes in the hallway between the apartment door and the bedroom, the first clothes are already flying before you have even said "hello".

He likes to have fun, anything that could be fun generally interests him anyway. So you are not too shy to ask him, because you know there is no reason to be.

When you tell him that you like his armor and that he should leave it on, he just grins at you, takes off the codpiece and says insinuatingly, "Come here, beautiful".

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

[spdrvyn]

do you think you'll be writing a part 3 to "i'll be lonely with you" ?? 👀 it's so good and i am invested

let's be lonely together — MIGUEL O'HARA

☆ there seems to be a spark growing between you and miguel, and you're forced to confront it when a heavy obstacle blocks your path.

minor angst. fluff. hurt/comfort. injuries. gn!reader. changed the formatting because it felt a little too clunky, hope you guys enjoy this one. school just started for me so i'll be getting a little busy T_T like the other "parts" in this, it can be read as stand alone.

You were absolutely mortified when you heard the news.

Miguel getting injured was a rare phenomenon that you'd only ever see in your nightmares, however the multiverse would always find a way to make those dreaded dreams of yours become a reality.

You'd refused to believe at first, standing as still as a mannequin once Jess had informed you, but that realization had finally sunk in. Miguel was hurt, and you were away while it happened.

From what you've gathered, he got impaled. It wasn't in any fatal areas, but it's a gut-twisting incident nonetheless. You shuddered just thinking of Miguel covered in blood, but to think that a spear, a sharp piece of metal, a blade piercing through and sticking out of Miguel's side left you unsettled.

Of course, your first instinct was to visit him. No second thoughts.

God, even as you paced hurriedly to the infirmary which was all the way across headquarters, your mind ran like a coding sequence. Trying to compute what to even say once you see him.

Being too forward and asking questions straight away might get him overwhelmed, he is frail and you certainly don't need to weigh down on him even more. Yet, you also want to show him that you care, but how do you do that without confessing your feelings for him?

Oh, right. Your feelings for him.

Cross your heart and hope to die, it started out as a small crush. Very miniscule, very minute, but who could blame you? You hadn't been around for as long as Peter B., Ben, let alone Jess, but he was more than okay with your company. You considered that to be a great achievement, but you celebrated too hard on your newfound friendship. Letting it fester in your heart, boiling for more.

You had tried to embrace delusion, you had tried to be content in the illusion of simply being friends, however guilt crept up on you at every single possibility. Maybe you could push down your feelings, stay in denial, but it would be a wasted effort.

It was the little things. The ghost of a smile that you would see forming on his lips whenever you talked about your interests or practically anything not work-related, the way that his eyes relaxed whenever you came into sight, how he ran his hand through his hair during the times it had fallen unkempt to fix himself up just for you.

Although it wasn't just you who noticed his tiny habits, Miguel was ever the observant type as well. During conversations, he'd occasionally interrupt you with a detail from a discussion that you two had three months ago. You wouldn't be surprised if he knew bullshit like your mother's maiden name.

This showed up in presents too. When you just happened to be hungry, Miguel had pulled out a small box, well as small as it could get when in his hands, and handed it you. Once you'd open it, you were met with the smell of your favorite fast food place.

Even with the snarky comments about how he could easily replicate it with the ingredients he had at home, there was no ignoring the absolutely smitten smile that he wore as he watched you eat. Content, happy, and most of all: full.

You'd missed it, all of it. The adrenaline in your veins raced like a runner on a track, hand shaky as you raised it to knock on the door of his medical room. Sweat gathered at your forehead, you held your breath as it threatened to collapse. You knew had to do this.

Three knocks was all you needed, but before you could even get to the third rap, Miguel's voice spoke from inside. "Come in," it was low, but not menacing like it usually was. He no longer spoke like he was commanding a room, getting your undivided attention, low from the bottom of his heart with every word serving a purpose.

No. Right now? He spoke like he'd fallen into the pavement, instead trying to divert your attention, low from the deep pit of shame and embarrassment that he dug himself into.

Once you'd entered, Miguel looked just as sad as you thought he'd looked. Even if he still adorned the suit that made him particularly stand out from every other spider-person running in and out of this place, the suit that served as his captain's hat, the freshly patched wounds shined through it all.

"Miguel," You spoke, voice hushed as you rushed to his side. He flinches when you slam the door shut behind you before you grip the railings of his 'hospital' bed. "What even happened?"

Your eyes ran over his body, observing how the molecular fabric of his suit glitched and stuttered, the same way a TV would look if you pressed your hand against the screen too hard.

You wanted to get a good look of his injuries, to check for any sign of what the full story was, but before you could do more, Miguel brings the covers over the entire lower half of his body, including the surface of his abdomen. Looking away shamefully.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," He grumbles and you could barely even hear it, his words tore your heart apart piece by piece. Did he not trust you? Were your efforts to see something more in him for naught? "Why are you here?"

"Why else do you think I'm here, Miguel?"

The truth was that you weren't even mad at him, just disappointed. Numbers were too finite to count the amount of times you've limped into Miguel's office with a brand new injury from a mission, the amount of times you've explained to him that you'd go straight to the infirmary after, the amount of times he's demanded that you sit down as he patches up your wounds while you report said mission to him. 

Yet he was this ashamed to act so vulnerable in front of you, while you've looked even weaker in the past? It made you think, it really did. "I feel like you owe me some explanation, don't you?" You insisted, but he just shook his head.

"There's more important things to attend to right now," He begins, and it makes the blood pumping in your heart freeze over. "It's really not that big of a deal, it'll pass in a day, I promise." Lies. All of it. 

The frigidity of his words seeped from your chest down to your very fingertips, the steel railing of his bed practically turning to ice as the realization sunk in. He didn't want you to see him like this. He didn't trust you enough to see him like this. 

But why?

You wondered. So you asked him. 

"I just don't get it." One of your hands lets go of bars that way you could smooth your hair, probably the only not messy part about you right now. "I thought I was doing everything right, and it's still not enough, is it?" 

Miguel's face falls, the tense pout that he wore like a jacket being ripped to shreds as you further rambled. "Why are you shutting me out like this? What did I do wrong?" Fragile, delicate, creaking and cracking, all while on the verge of breaking. 

Was it your voice? Your tears? Your composure? No, everything. It was as if he had you in a chokehold, a slight pressure, and you could shatter in an instant. Your head immediately tilted down, facing the floor. You prayed, prayed, and prayed that he wouldn't take notice of the crystalline drops that fell from your eyes. 

But Miguel can't even bring himself to say anything and he hates himself for it, don't get him wrong though, he has so many thoughts, he's had so many thoughts about you. He felt like such an idiot for not saying them to you before, but he'd feel like even more of an idiot if he said them right now. 

That was mostly the self-defense talking, just look at you. Sure, he was the dumbass injured on the hospital bed, but you were an entirely different kind of pitiful. The strength that he'd built over the past year, to hurdle obstacles both physically and mentally, to be a leader, yet he couldn't even undo the repression of the feelings that he so coldly locked away. 

He wanted to try though. For you.

"It's— it's not for the reasons you think, okay?" Miguel stuttered, how he wanted you to look up that way he could wipe your tears, hush and reassure you, but he couldn't. Not in this moment at least. "I'm an idiot, I really am."

Now, that made you redirect your attention. A rarity it was to witness the proclaimed genius, leader of hundreds of Spider-people, to call himself fucking stupid. Your eyes were dry, but the puffiness of your lids said all it needed to. 

Miguel's face scrunches up a little, he had to be vulnerable, it was the least of many things that he owed you. "I just think you're too good for me sometimes," He sighs, 

leaning back against the pillow behind him. Gazing distantly into the small corner of darkness in the room, "Not sometimes. A lot of the time. Everyday."

A wave of warmth crashes over your chest, coursing through your icy veins as Miguel further digs himself into this hole. A hole that he'd most likely die in. "You're just so— so you, you know?"

He denotes your perplexed face and sucks in a sharp breath, bringing a hand out to rub the wrinkles on his forehead. "Fuck, just give me a second to think." He huffs in annoyance, there were often times where Miguel would be able to explain the full extent of canon evemts with no breaks in between when it came to something as simple as saying I like like you, he was more than clueless.

"I've seen this place come to fruition ever since I could even begin to fathom multiverse travel," He starts, Miguel had normally upkept the habit of keeping eye contact with those he spoke with, but right now he wanted nothing more than to keep looking away from you. "A year. A whole year."

Miguel was smart, that he could say with confidence. He was able to build machines that allowed him access to scientific discoveries that nobody else could attain, the same machines that are the foundation of everything he's built. 

However, it all really boiled down to the people. Each individual that he's recruited is special, he can't deny that. Their origins are the same, maybe their suffering alike, but it comes down to the soul, the core of their being. There's a specialty in every Spider-person that he's walked by in these hallowed halls.

Even after all of that, he just couldn't comprehend it. After seeing all of them get knocked down by the cruel humor of the multiverse, only to get back up and to keep preserving, he hasn't made a single realconnection. 

"You come in only a few months ago and it seems like everybody knows your name, knows who you are, your smile." Miguel talked and talked and talked, like you weren't even in the room. Like how he did whenever he'd come back to his office from a mission, a mission with you and Lyla would beg him for the details. 

"Yet, even when there's so many better versions of Spider-Man out there, more charming and more... likeable," Finally, finally he turns his head back to face you, trying to fight back the shame that makes him want to just shut the hell up. 

"You chose me." How could he even call himself a genius after all of this?

One of Miguel's worst fears nowadays was you being in his place, possibly worse. Dead on the dark floor an alleyway in some distant dimension, that idea terrified him a lot. He almost thought he killed you himself when you only seemed to just— stare at him, lips slightly parted and the only reassurance he received that you were still with him in this realm was the slow rise and fall of your chest. 

If this was how you felt everytime you had a personal discussion with him, he completely understood if you'd leave this room hating his guts. As each second passes at a snail's pace, that pit of anxiousness grows and grows until—

"Miguel," It's a single word, his name, his calling; the way you say it though, it makes his heart drop below freezer temperature. "Is that really what you think of yourself?"

Huh?

"Here I thought that you were pissed at me this whole time," A dry, but short chuckle leaves your throat. The remnants of your sobs and previous cries still present in the way you spoke. "I don't hang around you just for some extra validation or because you're the boss, I stand you because I actually like you?"

What?

"Have you actually never considered that? That I wanted to know you past a work basis?" You almost find the utter shock on his face humorous if it weren't how ridiculous his mindset was, how stupid he truly was. 

"I mean— I didn't—" Whatever was left of your tears seemed to dry out watching him like this, tripping and falling over his words. The walls that he so desperately tried to build up crumbling before you into pieces, these pieces that you'd admire and care for. "Fuck, I'm no good at this."

"Yeah, I can see that." All the worries that you've held so close to your heart were slowly starting to be ebbed away by the what he'd just said, maybe you were afraid, but he was to. "I can do the rest of the talking now." 

Even if he didn't make a single movement, you could tell that he agreed with you. 

His heart thumps competing the speed of a race car as you place your hand on top of his, running your thumb smoothly across his bruised knuckles. You delight in the way that subtle dark red hue settles on his cheeks. It's working. 

"I really, really like you. I like the way your hair moves, I like the way I can take a peek at your fangs when you laugh, I like the way that you roll your eyes when someone says something really stupid," It's a drawn out ramble, one that Miguel could get absolutely drunk on and result in a hangover the next morning. 

"You're not better or worse than me, we both carry our own flaws, have our own struggles," Time seems to come to a standing point when you bring his scathed hand to your heart, where he can feel how fast it's beating under his fingertips. 

"But what really matters to me is that we help each other change, to improve. You've done so much for me after all this time and I want to do the same for you ten-fold," You suck in a sharp breath. "Possibly even more." 

Miguel clearly couldn't bring himself to words right now. How could he after everything you've just confessed? Any sentence after that would make him sound like a caveman and it's not like he could afford to look like any more of a bumbling idiot in front of you after all that. 

Instead, he opts for something else. Slowly but surely, he drags his hand up to grip onto your shoulder, pulling you closer. Gently but closer. 

He notices the way that your body tenses in anticipation, your breath quickening when his gaze flickers down to your lips. 

"May I?"

Yes, please.

There was a certain softness to the way that Miguel kissed you, in a way that you'd never expect would come from him. However, the grip that he has on your shoulder tightens and surely, there's a certain desperation to how he holds you. 

He wants this. He needs this. 

You want to lean in closer. Maybe even climb onto the bed and straddle his lap so that things can go further deeper, all of these thoughts racing through your head come to an abrupt stop when Miguel hisses in pain pulling back. 

Excitement quickly contorts into concern when he retracts his hand from you to rub the crook of his neck. You swore you could see blood sprinkling the gauze that covered the wound there.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. You should—" Before you could even finish apologizing, he recovers. Practically grabbing you with so much force that your body slightly clashes against the metal of his bed, the cold steel in contrast to the warmth of his touch. 

God, kissing you felt like running a marathon or scaling a building as high as the Effeil Tower, but did Miguel care? No, he didn't. He didn't give a shit if he'd be ripping a stitch or causing a blood vessel to pop. You were all that mattered to him now. 

"Don't you dare apologize." He grits through labored breaths before continuing to kiss you with a newfound hunger and how could you not listen? 

No matter how many bandages, lectures, and battles Miguel had to go through each passing day. The isolation that had consumed his heart in a tar nobody could break, you did. When Miguel was there to save the multiverse, most of all, you would be there to save him. 

And he was more than okay with that. 

want to see more? here's my masterlist

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

I don't like how differently the fandom treats RadioApple and other Alastor ships. People hate Charlastor because Charlie is taken and way older than Alastor. But Lucifer is a married man and literally Charlie's father. (I'll accept the fact that people believe since Lilith doesn't seem to be in the scene anymore but it's still weird) As a RadioStatic shipper I hate that people shit on anyone who even try to make RadioStatic mutual people will spam "And then Vox woke up" or "In Vox's dreams". Like, bruh. They act like even implying Alastor likes Vox is erasing to his sexuality when from what I see, most RadioStatic shippers are asexual themself. (Yes, I have heard there are many ace RadioApple fans, but I just hear so many more RadioStatic fans openly say they are AroAce) People act like RadioSilence and QP RadioRose are the only acceptable Alastor ships, but when it comes to RadioApple they completely ignore it. As they should for all Alastor ships if they think they're wrong but they don't. Anyone can ship anything, but this double standard disgusts me, especially when RadioApple art tends to be way more openly suggestive.

(My confessions are always sooo long, sowwyy)

Hmm... I'm going to gently push back. I have seen RadioApple get attacked. I myself got a complaint over including it in Lepidopterophobia. However, most of the Alastor Ship Discourse I've seen has not related to RadioApple, so I do think your argument has merit.

My Best Hazbin Hotel Ship poll was the first time I ever had to swing the ban-hammer, and it was over in-fighting related to Charlastor. God, that ship is controversial. I know people get creeped out because (and I know Charlie is older) it does come off like an older man preying on a vulnerable young woman, but that's not what's happening and if that power imbalance creeps you out... well. You shouldn't be comfortable with any of Lucifer's ships then, right?

Right?

Anon, don't take this as an attack on you, but I did giggle a little at the inference of: "Lucifer Morningstar, the King Of Hell, is a married man you Radio Demon harlot!"

I'm not Asexual, so I don't want to be The Final Word on this debate. But I am going to say that I have seen plenty of AroAce people who love RadioStatic and plenty of Allosexual people speaking for the Asexual community when they bash RadioStatic.

Also, hasn't Amir Talai himself said that Alastor's Asexuality doesn't rule out the possibility of him having/having had a relationship?

But I am not the final word here. I would love to hear how Asexual fans of various Alastor ships feel about this Discourse.

Exactly. If you're going to give RadioStatic shit for erasing Alastor's sexuality, you better be giving all of Alastor's ships the same criticism or you're kinda just being a dick to RadioStatic fans.

...I mean... I have no complaints about suggestive RadioApple art...

Don't worry about it! You're lovely!

-Jesse xx

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S02E02 - Over Ice

Eh, yes that definitely needs to be under the cut because it's long.

It feels wrong that this show had an ice skating episode before a hockey episode lol

"You should keep your dog on the carpet. It's slippier than it looks". He has four legs. And claws.

Charlie and Sarah are flirting over the body again. This is unacceptable (please continue). And we learn about Sarah's figure skating past.

"Who's afraid of little old me?"

The mom was so annoying for most of the episode.

"Enjoying" figure skating.

In the first couple of seasons there must have been about a dozen references about Jesse never going home.

I remember I had a lot of trouble finding the killer in this one. They all seemed very suspicious.

So it's not illegal to be in possessions of steroids, you just get in trouble if you use one while competing for stuff?

Julia's confession to Sarah is a nice scene. And I like Sarah's subtle reaction and support. It's not anything too dramatic, or shallow, and I honestly don't understand why some of the audience react the way they did (imdb reviews can give a hint). Not to mention that this episode gets "wokeness warning" (I can't think of any other way to put it) in backwards countries like... the US. Do you know how ridiculous it is for an episode with a minor trans character to be treated like that in the US while in countries that are a hundred years back in social issues like Greece no one bats an eye? Eh, a lot. (In Greece it aired in a major free broadcasting network and was a bit before legislation protecting trans people had passed, so I thought that we'd be the ones to cut it or we'd remove stuff in the subtitles. We didn't cut it and the subtitles were normal, plus that season was repeated like 3-4 times.)

Sarah: "I'm not a cop". You're not a cop now. In S4 you will be carrying a badge and gun.

Ah, the freezer, finally.

I am simultaneously happy and sad that this shipper moment happened so early. Happy because it was well made and if you don't put crumbs early enough, then who's going to ship it? And sad because, well, imagine this happening in S4 for example. It would have been so good and it would have been laced with an extra layer of angst.

No but Charlie was very quick to panic.

Charlie: Rex, open the door buddy! || Rex: Once again, Charlie, I don't have thumbs.

I love Charlie's detailed instructions to Rex. Sir, he's a dog. You're lucky he actually knew where to go for help. And I have to note that the most helpful suggestion came from Sarah.

Work never ends, not even when you're trapped in a freezer.

Getting to the good stuff. Couples whump, yes please.

How can anyone claim that they weren't meant to be a couple like???

"I guess I peaked early." "Hardly".

Meanwhile, Rex is trying to find the right people who will understand that when he's without Charlie, Charlie is in trouble.

Sharing body heat (and coat).

Jesse: Rex, wait up! || Rex: No, my humans are in danger! Can't those two legs of yours go any faster?

Oh, you know, just chilling.

And then Charlie asks Rex what took so long? I'd have left and locked the door again. Joking, Charlie thanks him afterwards. Just globber him in saliva, Rex, that will show him.

Random thoughts: Charlie's arm around Sarah. Also Jesse dying from all the running in the back, and no one paying attention to him lol

S4!Charlie would have at least knocked Lucas unconscious for locking him and Sarah in the freezer. At least Rex bit him and threw him on the ground.

The following interrogation scene is lookwarm and they don't mention the fact that Lucas tried to kill two more people after that. The jury is not going to like the fact that he moved the body afterwards? What about trying to kill two cops?

I like the ending scene. It ends on a high note. As for the "wokeness", just as I remembered, it doesn't present anything other than that trans people exist. It doesn't make any statements. So, I'm confused by people's reactions yet again.

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on todays volume ! i swear at least 90% of this volume was just ava spewing ”i’m not like other girls” pickme nonsense. i have no clue why she thinks she’s competing with my MC for hayden (this is rhetorical, i know it's FB being too lazy and heteronormative to branch) i only have eyes on lisbeth & jesse 😭

moving on, of course i chose to spend the night with lisbeth ! ❤️

ava caught us, and i’m getting sienna flashbacks (seriously, which weirdo at FB is obsessed with this “rival walking in on MC possibly doing bits” thing ??) and why the hell would i care what hayden thinks ?😭 if she really wanted to hurt my MC, she’d focus on telling jesse...but he doesn’t give a shit. in fact, not a single islander in this villa cares

eisha pulls MC for a chat, unfortunately just for casa drama instead of getting to know her. i thought this would be the moment where we have to choose between her and lisbeth, but we’re safe for another volume

up next is some quiz challenge, i tried to get everything correct but it genuinely doesn’t matter what you choose here, we don’t even learn what the correct answers are 😭 i was also speed tapping through ethan and jesse fighting & ava insisting that her and hayden are in sync (the lady doth protest too much, methinks)

afterwards, jesse takes us to the swing set and confesses that he likes us. i feel like that's been established 300 times now, but it was still a very sweet scene ❤️

ethan and isadora did the worst in the challenge & end up getting dumped. why on earth was telling her the truth about her shady partner a gem option ?😭 i guess it could be considered revenge for him getting you dumped, but it should’ve been free. especially since these spineless guys were fully aware but didn’t tell her because “ethan should 🥺” (sorry jesse ❤️)

MC really has the entire villa at her feet. the whole sequence of lisbeth and eisha fighting for her, hayden swooping in to take her up to the treehouse, and then caleb climbing up the ladder had me in tears

this was the hardest decision of my life. jesse is finally available, but i’m worried that not picking lisbeth here will end up locking you out of her route (if you’re wondering why i’m worried about that, i noticed that some redditors who were romancing her didn’t get her casa amor scenes. maybe it's a glitch—the coding has been especially awful this season—but it could potentially be because it‘s tied to whether you chose her or your OG LI for the pre casa gesture. so it seems like you have to keep choosing her to stay on her route, meanwhile, telling the guys you’re not interested 100 times won’t push them away. classic FB 😒)

so what i decided to do was pick jesse first, and then replayed and picked lisbeth. i think this scene was definitely written with jesse in mind, but there were some small changes, mainly about the time you’ve spent together (also the narration calls lisbeth’s bum "curvaceous" lmao)

considering this shower scene is unavoidable, i wonder if it will end up being MC's movie night clip 😳 oh well, MC has plot armour anyways

YESSSS, tristan my love mortal enemy, come back to meeee 🙏🏽😭 (watch as it ends up being two offscreen bombshells)

overall, ava is so obnoxious that it ruined my enjoyment of this volume. it's not even about her pursuing hayden, but the fact that all of her dialogue is either putting down MC or talking about how she's better than everybody else, plus the sheer volume of it. i'm tired of lazily written rivals that have no personality outside of being horrible (and to be targets of body shaming, misogynistic, even ableist and transphobic hatred from the fandom)

on the bright side, jesse romancers finally got fed !!! 🎊🥳🎉🕺🏽🥳🎉 hopefully an actual recoupling is soon, but also i don't want to decide. let us have throuples/poly relationships FB 😩

i actually wonder who else would be taking MC on a date, i thought about dean and whatever casa guy didn't get chosen, but it says "blast from villa past." maybe sofia will pull an allegra, idk

[princess-lvcifer]

Okay so last night I had an idea for a Metalocalypse High School / College AU multi-chapter slow burn but sadly I can't write multi-chapter slow burns even if my live depends on it so I'll just share some thoughts:

PICKLES:

The older of the group, probably a young adult.

I imagine his hair short like Johnny Rotten or long like Axl Rose, I can't decide. But he dresses like Jesse Pinkman.

Everyone thinks that he's always skipping class.

The truth is that he isn't enrolled in that school or any other.

He's homeless and sneaks into the school to hang out, go to the toilet and eat, no adult suspects anything because it goes unnoticed.

The funny thing is that his family lives in front of the school, they can't imagine him going to school so near them so is the perfect hide.

(His brother goes to another school)

Before he became homeless he knew that sooner or later his parents would throw him out of the house or that he would leave, so he made a copy of the house keys and sometimes he goes in when there is no one to stay or to take something.

At night he sleeps in the tree house in the garden of his parents' house or in the basement of Murderface's grandparents without them noticing.

He skips classes with Murderface, they met and became friends that way. They are often in the stands smoking.

He often sees Nathan training with the rugby team.

Murderface introduces him to Nathan.

He has a crush on Nathan but he realises after having a sleepover party at Nathan's house (very cute scene: meeting his parents, having dinner and watching a film together, sleeping in the same bed...) or after he sees Nathan kissing Abigail in a party house.

A "I wasn't jealous of you, I was jealous of her because I love you!!!" type of love confession. Dramatic af. I love that shit.

Yeah I thought a lot about him as you can see. My baby.

MURDERFACE:

As I said he skips classes with Pickles.

He goes to Nathan's class. They met and became friends there because they have the same music taste.

He lets Pickles sleep in his basement.

Uhhh idk.

NATHAN:

He doesn't skip classes or if he does he doesn't do it as often as Pickles and Murderface. Or maybe he starts doing it a lot more after starting getting to know Pickles better. Idk.

Rugby team, of course.

He can feel Pickles' eyes always on him. He won't admit that he likes the sensation of being observed by him.

Pickles usually sits on the lower bleachers, so when Nathan goes to rest or drink he's often approached. At first they don't talk much, but the silence is not uncomfortable.

Okay so now let's talk about the Nordics... I don't really know how to connect them to the rest, maybe they met at a house party, but:

SKWISGAAR:

Exchange student.

Really happy to be away from his mom even if it's just a year.

Toki's roommate and classmate and he speaks Swedish with him.

They're always together because of the last point, but even if Toki's nice company sometimes he feels overwhelmed by him.

He becomes popular very quick because he's hot and new.

He fucks with a lot of girls, of course. And other times he sucks dicks.

TOKI:

Exchange student and happy to be away from his family, like Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar's roommate and classmate, he speaks Norwegian with him.

Skwisgaar is he first friend, he develops a huge love for him very quickly because he felt a lot of instant connection with him. He also admires him in a lot of ways.

He thinks that his feelings are normal love for a friend. After making new friends and not wanting them in the same way he realises that he's in love with him.

He obviously is very jealous of all Skwisgaar's situationships.

He ends up being emotional dependent of Skwisgaar. Sorry I love making Toki suffer (but trust me at the same time I hate it).

I don't know if he would confess his feelings to him and if he does that I don't know if Skwisgaar would have the same feelings.

His other best friend there is Pickles, they're delusional besties like "I'm not going to be lucky but you should confess your feelings to him because I'm pretty sure he feels the same way 🚬🐤" "No YOU *Uno card*"

And yeah as I said Abigail is there and also Charles and Magnus but I didn't though about them. And Magic Ears and the villains are probably teachers.

If I was a good artist I'd draw all this shit, maybe I'll write something but right now I'm having a writer burnout soooo idk.

[xerith-42]

My Street Ramblings

Ok ok ok so @gonedreaminggg put it into words very well when they described My Street characters as more of characters than people. Which is so true!! Like I can list off some personality traits of some characters, but can you honestly tell me what Katelyn really thinks about Zane? Even though they're both main characters?

(Editors note, this post ran the fuck away from me so it's long as fuck sjdfjsdhg)

The problem MS has is that a lot of these characters get boiled down to the silliest, memeist versions of themselves, until Jess did a spin maneuver and made the series a story driven show with a darker tone and promptly crashed her faster car into a brick wall. But even before that happened, a lot of MS characters were lacking because of the forced perspective.

Until the plot shows up in season 4 and mandates characters splitting up constantly, a lot of the series is (sometimes literally) only seen from Aphmau's perspective. If interesting character drama is happening and she isn't around for it, it won't be seen. This was somewhat rectified in Season 5, but it was really too little too late. Because Aphmau has to be around for important stuff to happen, we don't really know the characters on a smaller scale, because the series is allergic to taking things slow.

Imagine an episode that's just watching Nana go through her day. She wakes up, starts making coffee, pulls a blanket over Katelyn who fell asleep on the couch watching K-drama's last night, and then goes outside with her morning coffee, a small breakfast, and sits on her porch and scrolls through Tumblr while people watching.

We follow her taking the bus to get to her barista job, and watch as she goes through an opening shift. Scenes fade showing the different parts of her job, maybe she has to deal with an angry customer and we see how she responds. Maybe while she's working one of her other friends from My Street shows up and gets an order and they have a chat as she's working. We watch the care she puts into it, and how she leaves little positive notes with drawings of cats, hearts, and flowers next to their name on their order.

My Street characters suffer from feeling like they aren't doing anything if the Main Character isn't around. How does Travis like to spend his weekends? We can make headcanons about it, but the show, the actual text, can't answer such a simple question about one of it's main characters.

My Street also suffers from having too many characters, but if the series was willing to slow down, all of them could be given proper time, especially because a lot of characters probably spend time together when Aphmau and Aaron aren't around.

I'm talking about an episode where it opens on Garroth honking his horn, and then Zane comes trudging out of his house, gets in the passenger seat, and lets out a huff. Garroth just gives him the aux cord, and Zane puts on his high school emo playlist he unironically enjoys. Garroth nods along to or even lip-sings some of the song (probably Welcome To The Black parade by MCR, I just know all the Ro'maeve brothers love that song.)

Speaking of which, they then pick up Vylad, and all three of them just go for a drive. Eventually they drive into the country side, pull off, and then turn the car off. Garroth pops open the trunk and the three of them all just chill out on a pile of blankets and pillows that were already there. They sit in silence for a while. Vylad and Zane pass a vape pen around, and every now and then Garroth takes a hit off of it.

Finally they all just talk. About life, about their feelings, about their parents, whatever they can think to talk about. Maybe Garroth brings up some of his gripes about his roommate, or Vylad confesses that they're struggling to figure out how to come out to their parents. This is clearly a routine these three established, and something all three of them greatly appreciate. Garroth and Zane never quite felt like brothers to me, but this? I could see myself doing this with my brother.

And for my final random idea I had while in the shower, I want to talk about Melissa my beloved. A character who only exists to help prop up an already existing character. Melissa has almost no identity outside of being Aaron's Sister. Let me ask you this, what's her job? Without checking the wiki?

My idea is that she works for her parents company, a boring, dreadful, and soul draining office job. It's the same routine day in, day out, nothing changes. Wake up, drive to work, sit at her office for 8 hours, go home, sleep, repeat. Until on Friday, when she's truly had enough, when she's just so tired as she slams the car door as she's getting in her car to leave and hangs her head. She's so exhausted, so drained, so miserable. Her moment of anguish is interrupted by her phone playing a stupid love song, and you can just see her face relax the minute she hears it.

She answers the phone, puts it on speaker, and sets it up on a stand in her car. Her relaxed expression turns into a love struck grin, her ears relax, and her tail starts wagging the minute she hears her girlfriend Lucinda's voice. After the drudgery of every single day being the same, just hearing her voice is like medicine to Melissa.

And then the two talk the entire time Melissa is driving to Lucinda's, and they're so so so gay when they see each other in person. They both get dolled up and flirt like dorks the entire time, and then we get a montage of them going out clubbing, singing karaoke, and getting white girl wasted despite neither of them being white.

My Street characters don't feel like people because they're not. They're mostly one dimensional characters who exist to fill out a roster or scene, and we get depressingly little insight into who they are as people.

I hope this post gave them and the MS fandom something to chew on.

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective : Hello (Hell-O)

Sung by: Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James Original Artist(s): Lionel Richie

I have to ask - what libraries have a piano in them? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of people trying to study? Anyway...

I have a confession to make. My first watch through of the show, I really did not like Jesse St. James. Like, at all. And somehow over the past few years, I've really just fallen in love with Jonathan Groff. And I've come back to Jesse St. James with a greater appreciation.

So, let's dig in!

Story Analysis

You had me at hello....

A couple of things right off the bat - continuing with our 'hello' theme - we have a new character! So, of course, we are saying /hello/ to Jesse St. James. Is it blunt? Well, yes, but it's also Glee.

So, here's the thing -- right after Rachel gets her heart smashed by Finn, this random guy shows up who hits every once of Rachel's fantasy kinks, then sits down to do an impromptu piano ballad duet with her so... it's no surprise that Rachel just melts like a puddle.

Jesse clearly knows what he's doing. Did he do his research? Or does he just understand Rachel on a more fundamental level because they are both cut from the same cloth? Hard to say -- but this song really works for an initial introduction.

I've been alone with you inside my mind And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times I sometimes see you pass outside my door Hello, is it me you're looking for?

This song is just kind of perfect for this dynamic. Jesse is singing to her soul. How often has Rachel just sat and daydreamed -- about Finn, about any guy really just wandering to her and being the perfect match. And here Jesse is singing what she's feeling. It's instantly mesmerizing.

I can see it in your eyes I can see it in your smile You're all I've ever wanted And my arms are open wide Cause you know just what to say And you know just what to do And I want to tell you so much I love you

Again - he is playing to her wants and needs and fantasies. Not only is he everything that /she's/ always wanted -- but he's singing back to her that she's all that he wants. It's a fever dream -- where some guy is telling her all the romantic things that she never had told to her -- that she never thought would be told to her.

And it's especially impactful that this comes after Finn dumping her. Because even before this -- Finn was such hard work to get to admit his feelings for her. And here's someone who now speaks her language, and bam! instant connection and Rachel can hardly contain herself.

Rachel comes into the duet here, too -- which amplifies the effect that she's buying into her fantasy coming true. She's hesitant just a little at first, but then pushes in rather quickly. Rachel's a pretty dramatic girl, leaning into self indulgence, but Jesse's willing to play into that. Sure, we don't know at the moment that he's purposely playing her, but he's just as dramatic and there is a pull there between them.

Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow Hello, I've just got to let you know

This is such a Rachel line -- her heart just bursts with emotion so much. It's a great line for her.

Tell me how to win your heart For I haven't got a clue But let me start by saying I love you

I love these lines for Jesse. Because it's the way he plays the moment. It's like touting innocence -- playing on that instant connection. But he's calculating his every move in this performance. He knows exactly how to make her fall in love with him, and using it to his advantage. Such a fantastic, sneaky little line here.

Technical Thoughts

I may not be huge on this song but I LOVE this performance. There's so much going on. Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff are on fire -- and each doing exactly what's needed to portray their characters perfectly. This scene is so well shot.

First of all, musically. Look - if you are one of the five people who don't know, don't be alarmed, I didn't -- Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff are bffs, and had quite the bonding back when they did the Broadway musical Spring Awakening together. So there's a lot of chemistry and a lot of natural comfort here. And I'm not being hyperbolic when saying that Jonathan Groff is easily the best male voice they've featured at this point. (Sorry Matthew Morrison)

It does help that both actors are well trained vocalists that can keep up with each other. It helps sell the idea that these two have an instant connection. And they do! Even if Jesse is suspect. The fact that they sound good together is a huge thing.

The acting here is just phenomenal as well. The shot is super simple -- the camera closing in on them as the song goes on. It can be visually boring just watching two people sing at a piano. But the camera begins to get intimately close, and both of them are playing such complex characters here.

I love everything that's going on with Rachel. That she's getting sucked into this fantasy -- a fantasy she really only dreamed off. She's a bit demure at the beginning, then just sinks all the way in, and is just smitten by the end of this duet. This girl falls hard with infatuation (which will be her downfall) but ooff is it played so well here.

(A side note -- there are a few brief moments where we see some genuine smiles from Lea Michele, and I get the impression that she's just over the moon excited to be doing a duet with her bff. It's the subtlest of actor bleed, but I feel like the giddy looks are genuine.)

Meanwhile, I love the calculated looks by Jesse. So, Jonathan Groff does something that I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. Most of the time, he's staring her down to sing deeply into her eyes. But every now and then he's carefully looking back at the piano and the music. I don't know if this was because Groff wanted to make sure he was doing/playing/singing something right? But it makes an interesting effect - where, when Rachel has her head turned, it's like he's looking at the script of what he's supposed to be doing and it makes the whole song seem just a little suspect. I realize I'm probably looking too much into it, but it's just a couple of fascinating moments.

Also, I have to point out a moment that generally has me chuckle -- it's the whip around to see that there's a string quartet that's been added, as if that's also normal in a library.

Also, also going to add that this song is mostly sung in minor -- but at the end it lifts into a major chord. It's a nice touch -- that there's this melancholy loneliness about this song until it has a hopeful ending.

Glee Live

This is super cute. It's much more Lea and Jonathan (with Jonathan goofing around a little) than Rachel and Jesse, but still a treat - and probably a fun surprise on whatever tour stop this was at.

vs. The Studio Version : There's not a whole lot different from the tv version. The mixing is a little more balanced between voice and instrument, and of course as usual, it's a cleaner track. But nothing huge.

vs. The Original Version : So... Glee pretty much stripped the 80s right out of this song, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Making it a straight up piano ballad with out all the synth modernizes the song, and it works better for high school students in the the late 00s, and less like an 80s after school special. No disrespect to Lionel Richie, though -- wow does he have a light and airy elegant touch to his voice.

[confoundedluna]

can't sleep and brain is on overload so i'm breaking out what is possibly a Controversial until dawn opinion

I don't believe Emily and Mike physically cheated on Matt and Jess with each other.

there's a Ton of evidence seemingly contradicting that, sure, but when you look at it it's Incredibly circumstantial and not the full story

Mike and Emily hugging after she tells Matt she's going to find Sam?

we never actually hear what they're talking about, it could have been a friendly greeting, or hell it could have been comforting because, y'know, IT'S THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THEIR FRIENDS DISAPPEARING AND IT'S KINDA THEIR FAULT

if they were cheating, surely they'd kiss, rather than a pretty chaste hug? okay, sure, there's the risk of being caught, and Ash does of course see them, but I don't really see anything romantic in their body language (though that might be just me)

Emily getting all jealous and possessive and picking a fight with Jess in the lodge?

I don't think that's coming because her and Mike are secretly involved still, I call that Maybe some lingering romantic feelings from what was likely a shitty breakup and mostly bitterness that her best friend is dating her ex that just a year ago she was helping deter another girl from

the big kicker some people whip out is the unpopular dialogue choice when the fire tower is falling, if Matt saw them through the viewfinder, in which Emily basically admits to cheating, right?

except. she doesn't.

her voice in that scene is the biggest thing to me. most of the time, Emily is angry. aggressive. but in that scene, she knows she might die, she's Terrified, and her only hope of getting to safety is yelling at her insistently that she's cheating on him.

"Christ, Matt, we were just talking!" and 'I- I was confused!" and "Please... Matt, I'm sorry!" are her most important lines in that scene, and her delivery is Desperate. she basically whimpers before her stuttered "I", which makes sense. most of Matt's non-choice dialogue, of which there is admittedly very little, makes him sound like a peacekeeper, a mediator. the way he tries to placate Emily when they first arrive, or how he apologises to Ash after scaring her? not the aggressive, fight-starting guy the player can make him be.

so to be Screaming at her in a life or death situation? she knew there was no getting through to him, and she had to say what he wanted to hear if she had any chance of him getting her to safety

none of her words are an outright confession, just enough to Seem like one, and hopefully be apologetic enough that he'll save her so they can talk later, back on safe ground

the "confused" line I call back to 'Maybe lingering romantic feelings leftover from a recent shitty breakup', I haven't heard many cheating confessions so I don't know how many try the confusion justification, but I don't think it fits here

(also, confirmation needed, but on a video I watched of this fire tower scene, I saw a comment saying the devs confirmed she's lying here about actual physical cheating having happened? I don't have a source for that if it's true, but if anyone does that would be really cool and helpful)

and on Mike's part, I look to simply every single thing centred around Jess he did in the game. which was a Lot. they have such a great dynamic, he's clearly very devoted to her, desperate and broken and angry when she's taken and he can't save her, and I just don't see him cheating on her at all, not even with Emily.

so, yeah. while there might have been some emotional stuff left on Emily's end, which does make her kinda shitty since she's with Matt, I don't think they did anything physical while committed to other people like some think they did. Mike I think too devoted to Jess and probably unwilling to go back to Emily, probably associating the relationship with the twins' disappearing. Emily I think does genuinely care about Matt enough to not act on any possible leftover feelings, and this is speculation on my part but she probably wouldn't even if she's just using Matt as a Mike replacement because she's so bitter at Jess for 'stealing her man', but wouldn't want to do the same thing in return to her because she thinks she's better than that i.e better than Jess.

if y'all think differently, I'd love to hear why! or, if you agree with me, I'd still love to hear more! I love thinking about this kinda thing and hearing other people's perspectives

[midsummerevening]

Some Gilmore Girls // Byler - Mileven parallels which I thought were quite interesting to think about. Buckle up, I have a lot to say!

Rory couldn't say I love you to Dean just like Mike couldn't say I love you to El.

As Dean and El process their words, hurt dashes on their faces before anger takes hold of their emotions, admitting out loud similar thoughts: "You don't love me?" // "But you don't love me anymore?". The reactions from Rory and Mike are immediate: they don't agree with the statement, but don't say the expected words either. They delve into an explanation which does not satisfy the other party at all.

In both cases, it leads their relationship in some sort of limbo, a breaking point. In short, a state which leaves us and the characters thinking if they can come back from it.

Later on in the season, both Rory and Mike both say I love you to Dean and El and the scene appears as a big pivotal moment in the shows.

The only differences being the choice of music (more upbeat than emotional in Gilmore Girls) and the fact that Rory and Dean kiss meanwhile Mike and Eleven don't. It can be noted, however, that in both shows, someone who loves Rory / Mike is left standing by, watching the love confession, namely Tristan and Will.

Both love confessions are given with an explanation as to why the "I love you" hadn't been said before. What lies at the core of it is fear and commitment issues.

In Gilmore Girls, Rory explains to her mom that she was scared, that she didn't know what to do or what to say at that moment. She adds that she didn't want to hurt him. Her mom goes on to explain that she doesn't want Rory to be like her and have commitment issues when it comes to love, to the point that it would prevent her from saying it.

In Stranger Things, Mike admits multiple times that he is scared of losing Eleven (including to Will!) or that she would not need him anymore, meaning if he did commit and said I love you, she might go and leave him at some point.

NB: Though it is not said nor explored, this very well could be linked to Mike's parents unhappy marriage and their lack of love, but that's another matter...

Now, you may wonder, how if all of this is interesting in terms of Byler? Let me start by saying that I do believe that Mike does love El just like Rory does love Dean. But their love for them does not prevent them from loving someone else, i.e. Jess and Will, other love interests.

At some point in both shows, these relationship become long-distance. Rory spends the summer in Washington, leaving Dean behind in Stars Hallow. Mike stays in Hawkins whereas El lives in Lenora. In both cases, it is canon that they send letters to each other.

For those of you who haven't watched Gilmore Girls, it is fairly obvious from the moment that Jess arrives that Rory crushes on him and quickly develop feelings for him, despite the fact that she's with Dean and loves him. Which also means she's very conflicted and tries to ignore these feelings.

This inner conflict may be the same that Mike is having. How?

When the long-distance thing is going on, Rory finds herself utterly uncapable of sending one single letter to Jess but as it is showed, she has no problem sending many to Dean, who she's still with.

And according to Will's words, El has a "book of letters" from Mike meanwhile he didn't get any. Mike has no issues sending El letters because as he explains it, she's his girlfriend. But somehow he couldn't send any to Will, his best friend?

Are letters purely romantical? Would it have betrayed hidden feelings?

The lack of contact from Rory and Mike hurt Jess and Will, and they end up confronting each other about it. Both confrontation scenes really mirror each other: they're filled with tension, the characters get pretty defensive, other love interests are mentioned (El, Dean and the girl Jess is dating).

Jess accuses Rory of not reaching out. "Did you call me at all? Did you send me a letter? Postcard?". Meanwhile Will flat-out accuses Mike of having called only "maybe a couple times". Both Rory and Mike don't know how to excuse their behaviours.

Rory admits she hasn't called nor sent a letter, but jealousy is sipping through as she mentioned Jess's girlfriend and she's left angry. Mike seems angry too at Will's accusations and wonders out loud why it must be his fault and not Will's as well.

As the shows go on, Rory and Jess along with Mike and Will do make up. Things end between Rory and Dean because Dean caught on Rory's feelings for Jess and later on, Rory and Jess are together in a relationship. Mike and Will have plenty of heart-to-heart scenes in the rest of season 4 and that leaves us wondering if they will go down the same route as Rory and Jess.

Will El catch on Mike's feelings? Perhaps with the painting? Will that be the cause of the break-up?

Will El walk off on her own and leave Mike "behind" just as it is hinted at the end of Season 4? Just like Dean left Rory stranded saying Rory didn't want to be with him but with Jess?

I guess we'll have to wait to find out!